Monday, September 15, 2008

Kodak Moments

The other day, I mentioned to my dad that I'd like to take a photography class. My dad used to be Mr. Photo-Guy. I mean, wherever we went (especially on vacations), there he was with the camera and the 80,000 lenses and filters. "Just stand over there. OK, now climb up in that tree. Just one more picture. OK, now let me change the lens. OK, stand over there. Look that way. OK, now look at your sister. Get back up in the tree....." Meanwhile, 4 days of vacation have passed by and we have yet to leave the hotel grounds. On the bright side, he has 4000 pictures of my sister and me in a tree.

Anyway, my dad gave me a couple of his old photography books to borrow: The 9th Here's How book by Kodak, published in 1974 and Adventures in Color-Slide Photography by Kodak, published in 1976. There are probably some good helpful hints in them, but the little kid in me couldn't stop giggling at the pictures long enough to read anything.

001

Before and after grandpa looked at Medusa.

002

"Huh? Platypus tail? I don't know what you're talking about...oh this? No, silly. That's just my tie."

003

Name 3 things wrong with this picture. The grown man playing with the kitty? The gorgeous blanket? The guy's plaid pants? The overall orange color that burns your retinas?

004

"I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I didn't steal the bone."

005

"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me. I'm not even English!"

007

"Look Dad! Look! Fido can fly! All you have to do is poke him in the butt with this stick!"

025

"I know you're busy riding your chicken and all, but I just wanted to come over here and tell you that I love your hat! It's almost as sexy as my pants."

008

"OW! The pain! I think I broke my hip!"

"Darn kids making us lie on the ground. Just smile, honey and let's get this over with. Then we'll rewrite our will."

009

Ahhh remember the days of playgrounds with metal equipment? With 50 foot slides o' death and those things that spun around like a centrifuge until kids went flying off and/or puked? Ahhh good times, good times.

011

Yes, the family portrait. A little stiff; a little formal. I think this family can do better, don't you?

010

"Now you sit over there, Bobby. No, there. Move over 2 more inches. Yes, right there! Now Sally, look at the camera. Ok, Timmy, you hold this wreath and pretend to hang it up. Martha, tilt your head a little. There we go. Now everyone, we don't want to have a stuffy, posed picture like last Christmas, so look natural!"

012

There are no words. Oh wait, maybe this is a photography lesson on turning the camera around on the peeping Tom outside your window. The naked, peeping Tom. Hmmm, actually scratch that. There are no words.

013

"And here's a picture of Mother and me at home on Scrabble night."

014

"The most important lesson in taking good pictures is to always have your lucky pet armadillo on your camera. It distracts people from the comb-over area of slightly thinning hair."

015

"OK, I'll distract and confuse the bear with my pants; you take the picture."

018

Is the groom wearing make-up? Do the best man's glasses weigh 4 1/2 pounds? What color was the bowl the groom used to cut his hair? And most disturbingly, why is the best man looking longingly at the groom??? Ohhh, that's not the best man? That's the father of the bride, you say? Oh well, then everything makes perfect sense now.

I have more of these pictures, but I don't want to scare you too much in one night. The rest will have to wait.

Oooo, go over to my review blog and check out the diaper bag, fully loaded with Johnson's products.

Leave a comment there for a chance to win.

*****Edited to add - now through September 30, when you eat at Chili's, they will donate a a portion of their proceeds to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. When you dine on September 29, Chili's will donate 100% of participating restaurant's sales! Help St. Jude find cures and save children with cancer and other catastrophic childhood diseases. (And get out of cooking one night too!)

60 comments:

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

No, the question is, "Why is the bride crying?" And the answer is, "The groom wore his plaid pants to the wedding."

And my husband has a family picture taken with his mom and dad and one of his sisters that looks like that first family picture you showed us - but way scarier. I call it "The Addams Family At Home."

Amanda said...

OMG that was hilarious! I haven't laughed that hard since I looked at DH's childhood pictures from the 70's (I was fortunate enough to be born with only 2 weeks left in the decade). That last one, the wedding photo, was a riot! I didn't even see the bride at first. I thought the 2nd guy was wearing the veil.

We'll definitely be eating at Chili's. We plan to go there this weekend while we're camping out in the new house with nothing but camping chairs, bean bags, and air mattresses for furniture. DH stops and gets chips and salsa every Friday. It's one of our favorite restaurants, and I'm glad to know they give back as well.

Valerie said...

I think the naked dude is actually Adam, from the Bible. I mean, he does have a cross in his chest hair. Why isn't that mentioned in the Bible?

KraftyMommas said...

*Laughing myself to tears*
Thank you, Dawn. I was worried about my "Post Tramatic Syndrome" here in the Gulf Coast, Texas. Just barely made it through Ike and I have been hanging my head trying to get back into the swing of things here. I clicked on your blog to try and shake the fuzz outta my brain. Thank you. Thank you so much for the picture of the girl riding the rooster!!! I have not laughed so hard in months!! Just go back and look at it... the placement of the roosters head.... CLASSIC!!!
Thank you, again, my friend!!!
:0) Trevor

Shawna said...

I paid especially close attention to the girl/chicken/man photo. Interesting... very interesting...

My take on it: "OH - is this your chicken - or are you just happy to see me?"

::laughing hilariously::

Your friend, Shawna from www.gardeningnude.com

SubWife said...

You are too funny. This post should've come with the warning: No eating/drinking allowed. I almost choked from laughter! Thank you for a really good laugh. Please post some more.

Robin said...

First off the photos are WAY too funny but the captions are even FUNNIER!!! Glad you survived your day with the kids flooded in.

Secondly, I thought you'd want to know that I'm running in a 1/2 marathon in Memphis for St. Jude's. I've never run 13 miles before but I've got about 10 weeks to train. The farthest I've run is 6 miles so it's going to take some training but it's for a GREAT cause. = )

Jess said...

I'm there! I was there the other day and had my kids color a chili. By donating to the cause, their colored chili's are now on display with the many other contributors!

Gaye said...

Dawn, I am a photographer from Oxford, AL. Honestly, continue with what you're doing, "learning by doing". You photographs really are fine. A lot of times trial and error is better than the "by the book" instruction. Come to think of it....life's a lot like that also!! I love your blog, and can't wait for your book to hit the shelves. Happy "shooting". Gaye Phillips

Irishmama said...

Dawn you _______ crack my ___ up! I will let you fill in the blanks because I know you like to keep your blog family friendly, but that was my first reaction.

Thanks for the laugh!!!

FreeSpirit said...

The bride looks like she is going to her death. And the groom looks a little too satisfied. The best man, yeah, I agree...weird.

Sudee in Florida said...

Yah! Chili's!!!!!! Always have loved them. We will absolutely eat there this month....with pleasure. The picture captions are priceless. Poor girl....I'd cry too if I was having to marry that. What a hoot! Keep them coming. The world needs a bunch of laughter right now.

Christina from Vegas said...

had a yummy dinner at Chili's, thanks for the suggestion and the cooking-free night!

Karos said...

You just caused me post-trauma from my childhood in the 70s. The glasses! The hair! The chicken-go-round!

High hilarity!

Puts me in mind of this blog which you are bound to enjoy as it's in the same vein:

http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/2007/10/strap-in-shut-up-and-hold-on-were-going.html

meegan said...

Oooh those books are good enough to leave out on the coffee table!
Thanks for sharing and putting a smile on my dial :)

Rick said...

I love Chili's. Only thing is it's six hours away. I love children too! (Don't treat me like Target - please!! - Stay on Target! Which movie is that from?)

Tammy said...

I really miss the death-wish playground equipment. Sigh. I remember flying about 8 feet through the air as the "merry"-go-round spun too fast and I lost my grip. Breath knocked out of me and dirt ground into my clothes. Good times, good times.

Nemo said...

LOL! Those pictures were awesome! :D The picture of the couple getting married was a little disturbing though.. the groom looked a little too much like Jaws, the guy from the James Bond movies? I mean, no wonder the bride is crying.. ;)

joyfulmom said...

I haven't laughed this hard since...

...1970!

ROFL!!! Thanks for a good chuckle at the end of a bad day. :)

Liz's Random Thoughts said...

Love the pics! Get some more soon please!!:)

Lorraine said...

That was the best laugh I've had all day! Thanks for that!

melech said...

Hi Dawn: I was just sorta-kinda wondering how your day went..with everyone INSIDE that new "waterfront property".
Those kids never disappoint..what did they do to keep themselves occupied?

Kirby3131 said...

What a hoot!! It's 4:30 in the morning here, I am being quiet, trying not to wake the house and I get to this blog - HA! It was very difficult to keep the laughter inside.

Thanks so much. Please ask your father for more books from the 1970's.

purple furry hazlenut said...

BWAAAAAAHAHAAAAA!!!

My DH and I cried and choked with laughter. MY fave was the "... and this is me and Mom at home on Scrabble night." Only, then I laughed until I couldn't breathe at the armadillo one... and it just kept coming!

you are RUTHLESS I tell you! Keep it up! :D

Anonymous said...

Thankyou for making that "painful" trip down memory lane an easier walk! very scary as i remember those styles.....
signed
theresa in Alberta

Ashlee said...

I was far more disturbed by the chest hair cross than any of the plaid pants or comb overs...

Heather said...

The photos and your captions are too funny! (I was looking at your blog in my lunch break at work and had to quickly change to a neutral screen because I was in danger of laughing out loud!)

Amy said...

I used to work at Chili's and one of the years I worked there, we raised somewhere around $2 million for St. Jude's. I don't know how much of a dent that makes in operating costs for the hospital, but I thought that was pretty impressive. If only we could get more restaurants to do this same thing! And definitely have your kids color a pepper. It's cute to see all the artwork hung in the restaurant. I believe it's one dollar for a pepper, but you can donate more if you want.

Brenda said...

Those were the days my friend.
I thought they'd never end.

Rhonda from SC said...

These are as hilarious as the old weight watchers pictures. To think that this crap used to be in style! LOL! Ah, good times to be had by all.

Ren said...

LOL!!! I think I have that book, I actually recognize some of those pictures.

Karrie said...

My questions is about the picture with the cat. Is that man's arm around his back?? Where is that mysterious hand coming from??

ALL Of the pictures are hilarious!!

maggiebsmocks said...

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. O M Goodness! Dawn, you certainly put to words what goes through our minds.
enjoy the day!
maggieb!

Melissa said...

Oh you are the best! I'm laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face!!! Thank you for the great laugh this morning.

WHY IS THERE AN ARMADILLO ON HIS CAMERA? AND WHY IS HE SO CLOSE? DON'T THEY CARRY LEPROSY???

Amanda in Louisiana said...

Wow! Love the bride's veil! I wish I had thought of wearing a lampshade under MY veil!! Thanks for the laughs! As many of your other readers seem to be, we've been rather bogged down with hurricane woes, so a good laugh is always appreciated! BTW, is all that rain y'all are getting remnant of Gustav?! I was way too happy to see him gone to track where he went after he left us.

Josh said...

"Riding the chicken"? Is that what they're calling it these day? :-)

RefreshMom said...

I thought naked guy looked like Adam too (remember those Bible story books in the waiting room at the doctor when we were kids; that guy could have been the model for Adam). Closer scrutiny (which wasn't easy because everything within is screaming "look away! Look away!") it appears that there are skis in the photo. That must have been an ad for the "Co-ed naked skiing" shirt!

Sharon said...

OK, sorry this is kind of unrelated to your post today, but I wondered if you ever posted a review for that sunless tanner you got from some conference you went on a while ago. I seem to remember you said you don't like the smell of these kinds of tanners, and I wondered if this was was better? I tried to find if you did post a review, but I couldn't find it. Thanks!

Gail said...

Um...anyone else think that the chick riding the chicken looks freakishly like Lindsay Lohan?? LOL

Walter Family said...

OK the one with the chicken had me rolling! I think the bride looking ready to bolt is a rip and what is up with the guy with the cross chest hair? Is he supposed to be Adam??? :)

Anonymous said...

Weren't the 60's fashions great? LOL. :0)
Sue
http://booksaroundtheclock.wordpress.com/

Anonymous said...

Great Pictures. Those of us who were born in the 70's all have our own version of each of them, I'm sure.

And Rick, yet another great reference to the early 70's: "Stay on Target" is from Star Wars: A New Hope (Episode IV, the first one they made). When the rebels are trying to get the laser bullets to go into the impossibly small spot to blow up the Death Star, as Tie Fighters are coming in from all sides, they must continue with the mission and not back down! ...uh, yeah. I have boys. Nuff said.

~Laura

Diane B said...

I'm so mad at you right now!!!! Three words: Coffee Nasal Enema

(As in, yes I laughed so hard and unexpectedly my hot coffee came out my nose! Why, what were you thinking?)

Please, for my sake, put a warning up prior to posting pictures with captions like that!! Seriously, you're going to hurt someone one of these days!

Sunny said...

My favorite is the guy with the armadillo.

diddlesgirl said...

hahaha! i keep having to go back and look again and cringe and look. and your comments, so very funny! they make it so much more educational than whatever that book says!
your dad and vacation pictures makes me laugh. he sounds like my mother-in-law. she once made us late to an appointment to have my kids pictures made becuase she was taking their picture!
btw- you take wonderful pictures!

diddlesgirl said...

ugh.. i just had to go back to see the chest hair cross becuase i didn't notice it the first time. why oh why did i go back?

and just let me ask - naked guy, skis, and a cross . . what can it mean? advertisement for a church trip? please someone explain this to me!

doodlebelle said...

OMG that is too funny. Thanks, I needed a good laugh!

Cheri-Beri said...

Oh yes, the playgrounds of death. *Sigh* Such sweet, sweet, scarred childhood memories!!

Lisa said...

Sadly, I have taken several courses in photography and actually have a "degree" and even more sadly, actually own that book.... and several others with equally disturbing pictures....

Jenn loves Derek said...

Dawn,
I have to tell you that you should have a disclaimer on your website that reads, "Warning! If you have just had your gallbladder taken out, do not read. Laughing is painful right after that particular surgery and there is nothing but laughter here!

I had my gall bladder takes out 3 weeks ago. I came home and had to be down (Thank Heaven for my laptop and my new Stephanie Meyer book!) I went to visit your website like I do almost everyday and I started to laugh and OWIE!! So I had to take a break until I got my thumbs up from the doctor to laugh again. I feel as though I have been dieting. You know so now I am looking at everything that makes me laugh. Come to think of it, if I did visit your site since then, I don't remember it! You know those narcotics are pretty strong.

Anyways, I wanted to comment on the bride. If I was marrying that guy, I would cry too.

I loved the outfit that the girl was wearing on the playground. It reminded me of my kindergarten picture. I am wearing a lovely mustard colored turtleneck and a brown/orange/Aquamarine knitted vest with brown and orange pom poms on the sides. (Luckily the pictures spares you from the pom poms. I never understood why my mom went to all that trouble of ringlets and then left the bangs flat as a pancake. I changed my picture to give you a glimpse of 20 years ago me in kindergarten and now my son in kindergarten. His name is Jaxon. From what I read of your Jackson, he is very much like mine.

Thanks for the Laughter!

P.S. I am no style snob. There is rarely a summer that goes by that I run to the grocery store with my five kids and one of them is wearing aswimsuit with snowboots for shoes. At somepoint you just have to say whatever.

BandK said...

ROFLMAO

OMG those pictures and your comments were hysterical!!! Good lord.

Thanks for the laugh this Wednesday!

ilana (Helen) Pengelly said...

Can't comment..... too busy wiping tears of laughter from eyes.

Magda said...

OMG Dawn, these are hilarious.

Thanks for the laugh!!!

Cheri-Beri said...

The guy with the plaid pants and kitten was the 70's version of a metrosexual.

And the shirtless guy in the bushes? Ick.

MangyCat said...

Great captions! Gotta wonder what people will be saying about OUR photographic wonders in another 30 years.

Missy said...

Is it ok for me to steal your info about Chili's? I would like to add it to my blog for the few readers I have. A beautiful little boy in my son's kindergarten class was daignosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma this week. We are all so scared for him and doing everything we can for his family. I followed Julian but it isn't the same as seeing someone you know and love suffering through this. Suddenly it seems more real. Maybe your readers can add Bayler to their prayers too. Thanks. Missy

mommykerrie said...

dig your blog! we're headed for brady bunch-ville ... 2 of each for now. we attachment parent and homeschool and i'm hoping there's comedy gold in those things for my own fledgling blog. can't wait to read more ... you have so many great tips!

heyitsbeej said...

What's with the black hairy cross on Peeping Tom's chest?

Eric said...

Well as you have more kids than you can count on one hand without dropping the camera from the other one, I assume you take a lot of photos of kids.

The biggest mistake most adults make is to take photos of children while standing up...

For the best pictures of children: camera lens should be at shoulder level or lower of the person you're taking the photo of... When I take photos of children I'm either lying down on the floor or sitting down.

Jennifer said...

Dearest Dawn, I have refrained from commenting Ever until now, because I know you are so insanely busy and I felt guilty taking any more from your day, but I just had to say, that of all the blogs, movies etc. that people claim made them LOL or tears or whatever, yours is the ONLY one that does that for me. I jump in place, fall on the floor, struggle to read through tear-filled eyes - no exaggeration.
In all the crazy things and people that life brings that feel like they try to crush you sometimes, I want to thank you for making me remember belly laughing, and that I can still do it as an adult! A little happy place in the insanity of sinful humanity. (I'm a Christian too!!)

Bless you, Sista!!

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