Saturday, November 10, 2007

These Are the Things You Don't Say to Your Wife

I went on a date last night. Yes, my husband knows about it. It was with him. My church sponsored a couple's date night. They provided babysitting, showed a short, humorous video, and talked about communication before handing us a sheet with discussion topics and sending us out on a date. Although we were tempted to drive home and take a nap, we decided to make the most of our kid-free time. I have to admit, my husband and I started our date by running some errands. Hey - we were together and we were talking uninterrupted by the munchkins, so it still counts. We ended our evening having dessert while chatting at a little coffee shop. We didn't even fall asleep at the restaurant, so it turned out very well in my opinion!

This is something we don't do nearly enough. We never even went out for our anniversary this year. It's sad really. If I could give only one piece of marriage advice to young people out there, it would be to take time for each other. It's so easy to get wrapped up in everything that needs to be done. There are always the kids and work and sleep (a very precious commodity to be sure) and household chores. You can certainly see how a couple could put off and/or forget about taking time for each other. The problem is - the couple starts to become disconnected. How can you be good parents and set a good example for the kids if you and your spouse don't take time each day to talk to each other? How about if you don't take time once a month or so to spend time alone together? My husband said, "Well, the kids come first, right?"

I think that's true in one way. On the other hand, they always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first so you can help others. If you don't take care of yourself and your marriage first, you won't be any good to take care of those little ones counting on you, right?

This is something my husband and I have sadly neglected for too long. We've decided to make an effort to get out for a nice dinner together once a month. I figure we'll make it until January before we forget about our little pact.

I'm sharing part of this funny marriage video by comedian, Tim Hawkins. I love his song at the beginning. It's hilarious! Enjoy!



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88 comments:

Lucille said...

Dawn,

Well said, well said. It is such good avice and I've given it out myself a few times but rarely follow it. You keep thinking someday...or when the youngest one is a bit older... and so on.

I know that when we do go out then I feel like I'm more behind the next day with things like laundry and SLEEP. We old folks can't stay up late enough to even go to the LATE movie!

I hope you can stick to it. It is necessary to remember who you are as a person and why you two started talking in the first place.

We have spent many a date night at Menard's, Target or running errands and much like you - I just enjoy the uninterrupted talking time.

I hope you and hubby enjoy the rest of your weekend!

http://whosgoingtotellyou.blogspot.com/

Robin said...

I couldn't agree more...taking time for each other is so important! I'm glad you had the opportunity to do just that!

Brooke said...

I totally agree with you about making time for our spouses. When my kids go off to college (oh, in say 2022) I still want to be able to sit and talk to my husband and still have that common interest we had in each other when we fell in love! (ok. minus the making out in the back of the Tahoe. I'll be 44 by then and less adventurous.)

Bloggin' Mama said...

I've been following your blog for a while and don't think I've ever commented.... I only have 2 children - boys (so far) so I cannot imagine how eventful your every day is because mine seems pretty busy. But I'm now realizing that I have a lot more in store if I want more kids!!! Kudos to you for keeping it so together and still having a mind to tell about it! Also wanted to say that for sometime I have had on my "list of things to blog about" the ever-elusive DATE NIGHT!

Can't wait for your book!

All moments remembered said...

OHHHHHH I loved it!!! That was so stinking funny!!! Hey we had our date tonight. My hubby took me to a play oh and did I mention we took the kids too? So we are home early since the kids were bored stiff at the play. LOL!!! Oh well he tried! He said when he found out how much a babysitter would cost he thought it would be fine to bring the kids. LOL Oh well he tried. LOL
I have just posted the cutest custom name books on my blog today. If I do say so myself my first one came out cute for doing it in a hurry. You need to come look. :) Problem is that you can only do up to 7 letters. Do any of your sweetpeas have a name with less then 7 letters? I thought I could send you some for the other blog site. I need nick names for your kids!! Oh and they must be 7 letters or less! :)
Hope things are going well,
Stacey

Lorie said...

I totally was thinking about starting this type of thing at our church! I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed it!

I have seen Tim in person at the Christian Education Conference in Seattle, WA...so funny I was crying. I bought both of his DVD's in hopes of doing a couples comedy night at the church...maybe after the first of the year.

I hope you and your husband get out so much more often now that you remember how nice it can be!

Heather's Haven said...

Hi! I'm a friend of Tim's and in fact, I just hung out with his wife today! He is exactly who I thought of when I first saw your title. :) Don't know if he shared, but his wife, Heather has just finished her last chemo for breast cancer. I know they'd love to have more prayers heading their way as she starts to heal and go through reconstructive surgery. You can get updates on her through Caringbridge.org. Her site is: heatherhawkins

Love your blog. And I definitely am a believer is date nights w/o kiddos! Keep it up!

Lisa said...

The video is great! I can't wait to show my husband.
Wish our date nights weren't so few and far between. Maybe if I tell DH that the "pokemon" lady said it's important to do regularly he will listen. Although it's not that DH doesn't want to, it's just trying to get someone to watch 6 kids that is difficult.
Thanks for reminding us to take time for US.
Lisa
http://rollinwiththepunches.blogspot.com/

Gena said...

My husband and I also have a hard time keeping up with having "date" nights. It's nice to know we're not alone. It's not that we don't want to spend time together, it's just that there are so many other things to do! Thanks for the reminder!

My Semblance of Sanity said...

HAHAHAHAHAH!
You crack me up!!!

TAG - YOU'RE IT!!

8 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT YOU!!!!

Have fun with this!!!

VanDerHoekArt said...

I totally agree!

Miss Hannah said...

Oh my gosh! me and my family love Tim Hawkins! he is totally hilarious isnt he?

Sleeping Mommy said...

Absolutely wonderful advice. I have family members who don't do this and I worry about their relationships. They aren't healthy. But this is one thing my husband and I absolutely try to do. Our relationship comes first for us AND the children. So whenever we can we take time just for us and we enjoy it without guilt.

Becky said...

Great posting, Dawn. It's so true...nothing makes a home more secure than a husband and wife that make time for each other and whose kids know they are still in love. True, true...and bravo on making your date night a regular thing.

ROFL...Love Tim Hawkin's comedy...we've been fans since his Bananas Comedy performance. We''ll be praying for his wife's recovery, too!

jodi said...

the very best gift a couple can give their children is their relationship with each other. Living it, modeling it, sharing it, and more. It's the kids' security, it's where they learn how to relate to others, it's their place to be themselves...and so much more. A night out is so important...and it's important to keep it regular and frequent!
Spoken from a mother of 6 adult kids who are all in committed loving relationships!

roseys madhouse said...

Omg that was so funny ( comedian lol) I dont know if you have seen this before Its called the mum song if this link doesnt work http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM
My hubby and all try to get out every month or two for time out by ourselves even just a coffee by ourselves can do us lol.

Anonymous said...

When my husband and I were going through premarriage counseling, our priest told us the same thing. He said he went to a house where the parents only talked to each other through their children. Once those kids are gone they aren't going to know each other anymore. A date is a date. There's no rule that it has to be dinner and a movie which can put a dent in your pocket book. Just one on one time where you enjoy your spouse! I like running errands just with my husband (if we can).

By the way Brooke who is going to be 44 when her children are in college! I'll be approaching that soon and my youngest isn't even 3 yet! I don't even want to think of how old she'll be by the time she gets to college.

Deb in OPKS

Tina D said...

I have to disagree with your husband -- the kids don't come first. The two of you were there first! Thanks for your thoughts!

Jen said...

I agree with that advice. I vowed before we had my son to have a once a week date night with my husband, and we've done pretty well. Sometimes it becomes once a month, but we try. I can't believe they gave you homework for date night!

Valarie said...

My mom and dad have had a date night for as long as I can remember. I have 4 siblings and growing up my parents always seemed to be able to find time to spend with each other. We are now all grown up and have families of our own and to this day my parents STILL go out every Friday for date night. They sometimes act like love-sick teenagers. They are still so in love. It's kinda gross. But I hope someday my children think I am gross too. :)

Theresa said...

Okay, the kids do come first, but part of what you are teaching them is how to have a good relationship! That is the best gift you can give them. Remember, the goal is for them to grow up and leave you. What happens when they are gone? Do you turn to your husband and realize that you no longer have anything in common, or do you find that you have more time to spend together and be with your best friend?
Even though it's more efficient to do things apart, I thnk doing things together is more important, being a team is what marriage is about.
You can always trade babysitting nights with another couple. Maybe with 2 couples, so you send 3 kids one place and 3 another. Dates don't have to happen at night either. Picnics, walks around the lake, art museums. All that stuff is still fun!

Good, luck with your date resolution, and make it an unbreakable priority, no matter what, pick the day and stick to it. You want your daughters to marry a man who puts them first, and they learn that by watching dad, you want your sons to marry a woman who respect and show that they love him, so you need to model that. It's not what we say, it's what we do!

regards,
Theresa

http://www.theresainmerida.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

hey thanks for making me pee my pants this morning! Tim Hawkins is a hoot! okay now I am off tochange my clothes ebfore church! have a good one.

Jan said...

Hi Dawn,
I have been following your blog for some time, but this is my first post.
You are so right about finding time as a couple! You must put yourselves first to survive....it's not being selfish.
I have four children ages 20 - 12 and my husband has always promoted alone time....that's how our "Date Night, Saturday Night" started.
Sometimes we hired a babysitter so we could go out, but most times, money was tight, so we stayed in and just rented a kids' movie and had our oldest entertain the kids upstairs while my husband and I had a quiet dinner alone downstairs. The kids were aware of our date night and for the most part, encouraged it....they knew we would resort to bribery so that we could have our time. Plus, they realized that happy parents were more fun! :o)
Now, you must understand, my Husband and I love our kids very much, but we are better parents when we are able to find the time to connect with eachother!
I wish you GOOD LUCK!
Thanks for always making me smile with your witty blogs. There is great comfort knowing it isn't just my house in which these things happen.

l. king said...

I love your advice.
My hubby joined the Service well into our marriage, he went to boot camp and technical training for six months. And I realized what my life would be like without him.

When he got home, I MADE time for him. The phone doesn't have to be answered unless you're waiting for the kids doctor to call. Dinner doesn't always have to be eaten with the kids, sometimes you can feed them, put them in bed and have a dinner alone. I don't read my books at night anymore, we talk. There are so many easy ways to do it. Dawn, keep it up, you'll never regret it.

My hubby leaves in a month and a half to go do his job. He'll be gone for six months...if they don't change their mind. I cherish every moment with him. You do the same with your husband.

Just some advice from someone who's experienced time without her husband and knows how important it is;)

Vicki said...

The video is great! Thanks for the many laughs each day.

Just-Me-Jen said...

He is FUNNY!

Excellent advice about making time for yourselves & each other - and it doesn't have to be a fancy date, just together time without the kids. :-)

Trista said...

My friend and I (she has 4 kids, we have 3) swap nights once a month. She'll take our kids OVERNIGHT...YES OVERNIGHT!!!! one time a month. The next month, I take her kids overnight. We save SO much money on a babysitter. And, we don't have to worry about getting home early, or even getting up early in the morning. It is great for us, and the kids really love it. So, ladies find a friend that you trust with your kids and ask her. It is such a great thing and my friend and I keep asking each other, why didn't we think of this 10 years ago.

Anonymous said...

Your advice is right on the money! People let the kids and their jobs take precedence over their marriage and then the marriage can fall apart as they grow apart. If your kids don't see their parents as being in love and taking the time to be together,
they won't have a healthy basis for their own relationships when they grow up.

Lela said...

That is so true, even if it's a quick coffee while the kids are at school, every little bit counts.

Amy said...

Dawn, you're right. I'd tell the same thing to any couple. But why is it such hard advice to follow???? We all need to have fun with our spouses more often!

amy said...

awesome..glad you had a good time

S2K said...

Will you share the cheat sheet of conversation starters you were given? I think it would be handy to have some good questions (for when I'm too tired to think of my own!).

onthegomom said...

I loved the Tim Hawkins video. Very funny stuff!

http://momoftheyear-not.blogspot.com/

Donna said...

Too funny and too true. It's been 2 months since our little bitty was born. We so need a date night in our house, but we have to coordinate it right as she's still nursing every 3 hours round the clock. Not that she won't take a bottle - she will if she's hungry enough - but if I don't nurse or pump, well, it does a number on me too.

suburbancorrespondent said...

Don't worry, Dawn - another year or two and you are there! Meaning, you will have grown your own babysitters. Take advantage of it. My husband have gone from going out almost never to being able to grab a couple of hours twice a week, with our teenagers at the helm at home. Okay, there was the time my daughter called me at a restaurant and blackmailed me - she insisted I promise her 10 dollars to change the baby's poopy diaper (we don't pay for the babysitting). And then there was the time in the bookstore (yes, my husband and I like to hang out in bookstores on our dates) when she called to let us know that the baby threw up and there was no way she was touching it. But generally, things go pretty smoothly.

bigwhitehat said...

Oh! What I could add to his act!

utmomof5 said...

Great advice, I agree 100%. Someday my kids will grow up and leave. I don't want my hubby to ever leave. Funny video, I have never heard of him before.

Christina

The Junk Drawer said...

Oh my. I've shopped at the Dress Barn. Geez, that was funny!

Glad you had a nice night out!

Michelle said...

YAY for a date night even if it started with running errands!!

Lynne W. Snyder said...

So glad you got out together. If you make every Friday night date night you won't believe how much easier the rest of the week is--although you seem to make managing your household easy and fun. More power to you.

The video was too funny. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn,
Love your blog! I think you will enjoy this video of the "bedtime song to end all bedtime songs". It's really hilarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uISuvTiTYJA Enjoy!
- Amy (mother of 18-mo twin boys)

GrammieB said...

Hi
Do you know your Ebay ad about the pokemon cards and the grocery store is still being passed around...LOL
It inspired me to pass it on and start my own blog after going to yours.
Wow, it is scary how similar our grocery shopping trips sound.

AZMom said...

We had our monthly date night on Friday night too! Our kid's daycare has Parent's Night Out once a month and it has done wonders for us. I agree with your advice to young couples..don't forget WHY you got married in the first place!

I roared with laughter watching that video. That will be on my blog soon!

Jenn Nelson said...

Okay I have never thought of it like your analogy of putting on your oxygen mask before you can truely take care of others. That is so true! I like that!

Your church is awesome for doing that! I love that idea. I think the only reason my husband and I don't get out more is because we don't have anyone to watch the kids! Your church is awesome for knowing the importance of your relationship with your spouse! Very cool!

JenniferJoan said...

Hey! Love your comment about the oxygen mask. That's what I tell my kids every morning on my way to the coffee pot! It's more like a monotone chant, really. "Must assist myself before assising the other passengers...one lump or two?"

Take care,

Jennifer

momof2teensand2tots said...

My husband and I go to the bookstore and eat out ALONE at least twice a month. We have 4 kids...ages 16,14,3,and 2...So, I pay my older kids ($7 and hour)to watch the younger ones. Also, my Mom lives about an hour away and LOVES to take my younger kids for the WEEKEND! YES, the WHOLE WEEKEND! So, it helps out every now and then. We let her watch them about once every other month. One other thing we do (when Christmas is not around the corner and we have money) is we take a 3 or 4 day trip to a place where we love and stay in a VERY NICE Hotel!! We love going to Natchez, MS! That place is so peaceful and romantic, and I LOVE THEIR WINERY!
My husband has been going out of town alot lately, and it has been hard to do, but we are back on track! Another thing to do is, put the kiddos to bed early and watch TV! (We love True Crime) So, YES, I believe that you have to be happy with each other and the kids have to see love in order for things to go smoothly! 2nd marriage for me and it was a long hard road to "HAPPINESS!"

tearese said...

I've heard the dating while you're married advice since long before we were married, but its hard to do when there is always someone nursing (and I hate leaving my kids with other people, even if I trust them.)
Our date usually consists of shopping at Wal-mart, kids in tow.

EnjoyingLife said...

That is too funny but so true!!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one whose dates start out with running errands. I thought my husband I were just weird. ;)

Thanks for the giggles!

Jen said...

Time to schedule a date night. Thanks for the reminder Dawn!
xoxo,
Jen

http://jenatwork.blogspot.com

korkie said...

Must be something in the air or water.
Yesterday I went out to dinner with my husband too, and so did my friend and her dh. Well, we all went out together but that still counts. No one was under the age of 21.

Brilliant idea one of your reader had about swapping baby sitting with friends.

I am burnt out! I spent the entire evening watching dh putting up cabinets for me in my craft room.

I'm telling you ...... watching without commenting is just way too exhausting!

Korkie

ps funny man. Blessings to his wife for a complete recovery.

Matchbox Mom said...

It's so hard to remember that sometimes. Life gets so busy! I can't even have a conversation with my hubby without someone yelling at one of us....
I can see why getting out is important. Thanks for reminding me!!

Tami

Mom of 2 Boys said...

What a hilarious video! Thanks for sharing.

My wedding anniversary is coming up next week. I told my husband, "we have some rewards we can use to get a hotel room - you know - have your mom watch the kids, romantic night alone at a hotel - and well - *nudge, nudge, wink, wink"

He looked at me -- with a sraight face and said, "Do you think we could use the reward points to get a Visa Gift card to help with Christmas shopping for the kids instead?"

=) men. Apparently it's been too long for a date for us, too! And we only have 2 boys!!!

shay (Australia said...

Oh my gosh this is so true my husband and I have been seperated for two weeks and it was only one night when we put everything aside and talked we realised where we went wrong!

We didn't talk we were about work, kids, money, housework, blah blah blah not about us not about the little stuff in life that we used to love about life in general.

Thank you so much for bringing this to the attention of your readers and Yes hubby and I are working on it and our communication skills.

Love you blog thanks so much!

Tiffiny said...

Congrats on going out on a date. I hope you get to go out again soon!

Anonymous said...

...so, after all this dating and alone time, do you think you'll have to change the name of this blog to mom to my 7 pack? just doesn't have the same ring to it. we'll have to help you think up another name, what are the ages of your children now? (you may have already posted this and i'm sorry if i missed it.)

Damama T said...

Dawn - I'm glad to see you encouraging other young couples to spend time with each other. It can't be said enough! As an old Mama in an old marriage, I can promise everyone that putting your spouse first IS INDEED like putting the oxygen mask on yourself first so you can make sure your kids survive life's often bumpy plane ride. Keep up the good work, girl. And if you ever want to see an older mom's perspective on stuff, check out my blog at http://damama2all.blogspot.com/, ... in your spare time... say, between 4:17 and 4:19 a.m.??? LOL!! Peace and Blessings!

Danielle said...

I couldn't agree more! Well said and wonderful advice! =)

Jill said...

Dawn,
We make it a point to go out once a week. It usually ends up being dinner and a trip to Costco. (depending on our budget, it sometimes means dinner AT Costco;)

Kami said...

You are so right! Definitely need to make time for your signiicant other! While stationed overseas, we were able to go to a marriage conference. Most of the infor was very interesting, but surprisingly we did more of it than we thought! But it was a nice reminder. We'd beenn England about 3.5 yrs at this point and all that time without A/C except in base stores and offices....A/C is only needed a few months of year so most of England doesn't bother...plus the cost of makin some of those 100+ yr old homes energy eficient enough to bother probably maes it not worth it either....anyway...here we were in the middle Cambridge, England at the Crown hotel. Clubs, museums, shopping etc an what did we do....went and hid out in our AIR CONDITIONED room! LOL! Don't worry we had plenty of "qualiy time", but we did just soak up A/C, watch cable TV ( another thing we did not have while there, by our choice though) and SLEEP! It was the best weekend ever! Plus the Air Force paid for it!

~*~ Jennifer ~*~ said...

HA HA HAAA!!!!

That's so funny -- I'm stealing it to put on my blog. Oh YouTube is F.U.N.

THANKS for sharing. Ü

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the advice! As a 1.5 year newlywed, I want to remember that for when we start having kiddos!

Karen said...

We totally would have gone home to go to bed! haha So did the topics to discuss include kids? Finances? (Because that would not have been a romantic evening.)

Heather said...

My boys spent the night at my mom's house on Friday night. My husband and I had grand plans for the evening. We ended up grilling up a couple of steaks, watching Mr. Brooks, and falling asleep by 10:00 pm. There was dinner, there was a movie, and there was sleeping together. I call that a date.

http://3boysundermyroof.blogspot.com

April said...

Our pastor speaks on this all the time - and so true! The kids will eventually leave your house but your husband -- he's there to stay - need to nurture that relationship, most definitely. It's hard finding the balance for sure, but yes, the kids will have better marriage relationships because of the things you and your hubby do today!

Sarah R said...

That guy is hilarious. I never even heard of him before!

My hubby and I have been neglecting our "us" time as well lately - and we don't even have kids! It's good to take a step back from time to time and make adjustments like that.

Andrea said...

My husband and I were just talking about this the other day, spending more time together. We have been married for four years and we have forgotten our anniversary three of those four years. Pathetic!! He had to remind me three days after our second anniversary that I forgot it. Wow, that is bad, huh? I loved that comedian!! LOL!!!

Mich said...

I have heard this piece of advice so often--- go out on a date regularly with your spouse. I heartily agree with it. I only wish hubby and I could do it more often. It's just so hard to get a sitter. And we only have 2 little ones! Who would you get to watch your kids if you go out each month? I hope you have willing family and/or friends because I'm sure you need the break. I know we need the break.

That was so awesome of your church to do that. I'm glad you had a nice time.

1boy4girls said...

This is a subject that I am VERY passionate about. My husband I just celebrated our 12th Anniversary. With 5 kids, work, school, sport and church it seemed like we NEVER had time for each other. Last fall we made it a point to get out every friday night. Yes, that's right, once a week. We hired a friends daughter who was 13 at the time and the oldest of 5 kids. We paid her 20.00 a night, every Friday, whether we went out or not. It was her "job". It worked out really well until she became a cheerleader this past football season, at which time we found another friend with 2 teenaged daughters. They rotate each week as to which one will sit for us. It has been a lifesaver. The other thing we just started was taking off overnight once a month. Doesn't have to be far. For us, the beach or the mountains are just 2 hours away. Anyway, we are blessed to have my dad available to come a watch the kids overnight. Oh, btw, we found the girls from church...

Deanna said...

It's a rare occasion that my hub and I get a 'date' night, but I agree. It's important enough for an effort to be put forth.

Thanks so much for sharing the video. I've never heard of Tim Hawkins before and had to check him out on YouTube! It felt good to laugh that hard!

Take care!

Anonymous said...

Hey,
Great reading your blogs, thank you. Don't forget that you have older kids, and in no time you can have them babysit the younger ones. Just start counting the days..

Have a good one

Jennifer P. from Kankakee said...

Ohhh is that funny. Thanks for sharing that!

Our church has done something like that too, is it the 10 great dates? We loved that! It was so hard to just enjoy each other on our dates, and we only had 4 kids at the time... but well worth the effort.

Bear Bits said...

We followed the philosphy, " A happy marriage makes happy children".

Nicki said...

My husband and I agree very much with you on this topic. We make it a point to go out every Thursday night--even if it's only to grab a quick dinner and do some shopping together. That time is precious! That video is so funny. I have to go to his website to see more. Thanks for the laugh.

Melinda Zook said...

It is great to remind yourself of this. The two of you are what started it all. I told my hubby the other night when we were out on a "date night" that he was my first baby and I know that is just what he needed to hear.

Char said...

About 2 years ago we started doing this regularly....and when a few months go by in the summer when we're busy and we don't get our date night, we are reminded of it and how we miss it so. We even do date afternoons on the weekends....even if it's just to get lunch and do some grocery shopping in peace & quiet. I find it's a must, and it's made us closer than ever!

Patty said...

Great advice Dawn. I actually made DH promise that when he gets done with this school he is in right now, and we get moved to GA that we will make an effort to do it too. With his new job it will probably be easier said than done (since he will probably be out of the country more than he will be in), but we are going to try.

Lucinda Naia said...

I tell my friends that the marriage comes first. It's the foundation for the home you build together. If you have cracks in the foundation, the house will fall down.

The best security your children can experience is knowing that mom & dad are the priority.

It's really easy to think you're helping your kids by "putting their needs ahead of your needs" but that doesn't teach them about relationships.

When you ask the couples who have stayed married for a lifetime, they will say it's because the relationship was first priority. They also usually say they are married to their best friends.

My Goodness said...

that's great! :)

Kathy said...

Great job! I'm sure it is hard to get out with six kids, I have a hard enough time coordinating with two kids! I'm glad you got an evening out though, sounds like it was really good for you. Keep it up!


www.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com

kendycox said...

I read your blog often. Just wanted to chime in and say how wonderful it was to hear your wonderful word picture about putting on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. I work for an organization called the "Oklahoma Marriage Initiative" and it always warms my heart when folks really GET IT. Marriage is hard work and we are doing our children (and society) such a service when we prioritize that relationship. Thanks!

annie said...

Hi Dawn!

You trully inspires me to be a mom & to be a blogger!

I only have one 3-yr old girl here and i'm already consider myself busy..how much more of having 6 kids! Superwoman?! *wink..

I'm a Filipina just recently moved here in Arizona & my daily surfing includes this wonderful blog.

May God continuously bless you & your family!

Best Regards!
Annie
annie8886.wordpress.com

Meghan Baxter said...

Dawn-

For those who need an illustrated explanation of palindrome (from a few poasts back), have them click here: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/11/12/tacocat-is-a-palindrome/

Another of my favourite blogs that makes me smile. =)

Anonymous said...

When counseling couples getting ready for marriage or who are married and in need of a little "fire" in the marriage, I have often shared this quote. I don't remember where I got it, but it goes like this: "The most important thing a mother/father can do for her/his children is to love their father/mother."

Any relationship takes time and hard work. You cannot neglect the needs of your spouse without running the risk of finding yourself alone someday. Spending time alone is part of the time and hard work.

My brothers and sisters and I were sent to bed at 9:00 PM every night except Friday (when we could stay up an hour later), until I was eighteen years old. (Hard to believe, but true.) Why? Because my Mom and Dad said that they needed an hour alone with each other every day before they went to bed.

Fr. Lawrence

annebabe said...

hey dawn, i'm a first time commenter. to echo everyone else's remarks, i too, enjoy your blog. your children are lucky to have you and your husband as parents because then they can model their relationships after yours. nothing else will compensate for failure in the home, making date night a reality is well worth the time. :) can't wait for the book, thanks for blogging!

Erika Martin - Stampin' Mama said...

Tim Hawkins ROCKS! We've been watching him on SkyAngel TV and LOVE his stuff! This song cracks me up every time I heard it.:)

Anonymous said...

I have 2 boys from previous relationships (16 & 9) and a new husband. Our house is rather small and it is very hard to get intimate alone time without a knock on our bedroom door. To children a closed bedroom door is an obvious invitation for them to knock and ask why the door is closed! Soooo one night for some random reason my husband and woke up at the ungodly hour of 2am and couldnt go back to sleep. Hmmmm what to do....what to do? We decided to have a coffee (yup that should help us sleep!) and hmmm the kids are sleeping. I honestly think we both had those cartoon light bulbs (or maybe it was devil horns I really cant be sure) over our heads when it came to us....Date Night!!! So now on the weekends we quietly prep the coffee maker and set our alarm for DATE NIGHT!
I know it sounds a little crazy...but hey what can I say we are still newlyweds...lol.

Take care and Thanks for all of the laughs!

Pam said...

Dawn, I’m on your email list and I read your blog EVERY DAY! It gives me the lift I need to face all life's challenges with a smile :0) I have laughed so hard at times while reading your blogs that tears flowed and panties had to be changed, LOL! But seriously, I have been inspired by you to write and no longer keep those writings to myself but to submit my writing for others to read, something I've always wanted to do but until now have not had the courage to do so. My only public writing has been my long-as-a-book-style eBay listings with “wordy” ad descriptions where I, pjgal2000, powerseller and writer of what my friends and family say are the longest ad descriptions on eBay sell. Your success, starting with your hilarious and widely read eBay listing, gave me the courage to submit an essay to a national contest being put on by Good Morning America Weekend. Well thanks to your inspiration Dawn, it looks like I am about to experience my own "15 minutes of fame"! Guess who called me today??? Let me tell you what your inspiration has gotten me into. In early Nov. I read about a TV essay contest looking for America's Best Restaurant. I wrote a 300 word essay (actually it started out with 468 words-thank Goodness for word count!) but I cut it down to 299 words just to be on the safe side. My smartie daughter who is now a college Sophomore/Junior? read my essay and said "Mom, I can't believe you did this whole essay in under 300 words, you write sentences longer than this" cute kid, HUH? Anyway, here is what you got me into. I nominated my favorite restaurant, Yesterdays cafe, here in our tiny rural Georgia town of just 700 folks with all the confidence in the world that I was going to win but never really thinking that was a possibility, especially since this was my first effort at writing for anyone’s eyes other than my own and those of my friends and family. I wrote the essay about why my favorite restaurant is America's best restaurant and guess what??????????? GMA just called, Who? little ole ME!!!!! YOO HOO!! Yesterdays Cafe is in the FINAL FOUR for America's Best Restaurant-GMA BEST BITES CHALLENGE! and my little 299 word essay put them there, YEA!! The cafe got the call too from ABC news asking their permission to COME THERE AND FILM A SEGMENT ON MONDAY, right here in tiny town Rutledge Georgia and also for a copy of the recipe for Buttermilk Pie, their signature dish. I'm telling you Dawn, PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK GIRL! You just don't know how MANY people you have inspired through your story of success and your writings. You started out writing on eBay and I was already doing that too, so when I saw this contest I thought what the heck, if Dawn can do it, she seems a lot like me so maybe I can too! You amaze me doing all you do with six children, I only had three and believe me, there are LOTS of stories there. Contest rules said the restaurant had to capture the flavor and uniqueness of your town. I felt that Yesterdays cafe in the old 1800s drug store building, with it's Vintage pictures of the town donated by it's townspeople and it's old fashioned DELICIOUS sweet.....buttermilk pie from a local family recipe passed down through generations, just fit the bill of what they were seeking for good food in America.

Now back to my plea for your help. GMA will film a segment here at the cafe Monday noon (unless they call back and change it AGAIN). And, they want me to be there, UGH! I have to go shopping, double UGH UGH!! And does the TV really add 30 lbs? I'm sunk. At least I will look thinner in person to those who know me, right??? Do I really have to wear those stylish pointy shoes?? My feet have spread out like the rest of my body, getting wider and wider with each pregnancy. I’m up at least three shoe sizes, one for each child I figure and now I don't think even the Lord All mighty himself could get my feet into a pair of those pointy toed torture devices! Oh, yes back to your help...The show will air on Sat. Nov. 24th on the weekend edition of GMA and the dishes from the four finalists will be judged there live on the air by the anchors and a special guest judge to be announced. That judging will count as 50% of the total. Then viewer’s nation wide will have a chance to vote online for their favorite resturant and dish shown THAT SAME DAY ONLY from the 4 restaurant finalists featured on the show. This will count for the other 50% of the vote. If our own Yesterday's cafe wins from these votes, then GMA Weekend edition will come back by satellite live on Nov. 25th to announce the winner and I will win a fabulous trip to NYC for 2 for nominating them. By then I should have something to wear, toes possibly amputated for pointy toed shoes and all. Boy could I use a trip away and what a boost for my self confidence this first try at writing is turning out to be! We feel like winners already with our little café in the final four but now I really want the cafe to win. To win this contest would be the icing on the cake or in this case the whipped topping on the BUTTERMILK PIE! Please Dawn, help me get the word out for everyone to vote for Yesterday's cafe and it's signature desert, sweet BUTTERMILK PIE online at Good Morning America Weekend on Nov. 24th. There are only 700 of us souls here in Rutledge to do the voting and even if everyone owned and computer (which they don’t) and we all voted (which many will) as many times as allowed, we know we will be up against restaurants from much bigger cities. The small town spirit can do a lot but I know you have LOTS AND LOTS of faithful readers just like me being inspired by you to go ahead and try something they have always wanted to do. My hope is that you will pass the word along about this contest to help us in the voting. I am going to put a copy of my winning essay here for you to read so you will see why I think Yesterday's is the Best Restaurant in America and their signature desert, Buttermilk Pie is the best thing that has ever crossed my lips. They say we won't have a link to the voting until the actual day the segment airs, which the rules say will be on or about Nov. 24th (I know that you already know how these TV scheduling things go....first they were coming out here on Wednesday, then they called back and said no Monday.....after we got off the phone we all got together and screamed as we realized we had two less days to prepare for this once in a lifetime occasion than we first thought. I don’t have a link to the voting yet. For now you can go to ABC Good Morning America and Click on GMA Weekend. Then search in GMA contests for GMA Weekend Best Bites challenge. If I get a link to the actual voting site on or before the 24th I will post that here for you and your readers if you don’t mind. Here is the link where you can read about the contest now: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Story?id=3764743&page=2&GMA=true
And here is a copy of my final four winning essay, inspired by you Dawn :o)

I nominate my favorite restaurant, Yesterday’s Café in Rutledge Georgia where I live. The café is owned by Rutledge native, Kris Bray. Yesterday’s has been described as “a trip down memory lane". Rutledge is truly small town America with just 700 folks, located 50 miles East of (and a world away from) big city Atlanta. Rutledge is a Railroad town, named for the turnaround near Miss Polly Rutledge’s log cabin. It is on the National Register of Historic Places. Yesterday’s Café is located in a renovated 1800s drug store building. True reflections of the town, the cafés walls are lined with hundreds of framed Vintage photographs of the town and its people. Local residents enjoy their meals at tables beneath pictures they have donated of relatives, homes and stores from Rutledge’s past. Tourists get a glimpse of the town’s history by looking at these same Vintage photos, each one with a different story to tell. The cafés food has a uniquely local flavor with many Southern Favorites on the menu. My favorite dish is “buttermilk pie”. I’m not alone in this as the café is famous for this uniquely local and delicious desert, created by their first chef, Lanita Franklin. The pie comes from an old African American family recipe, passed down through generations of Lanita’s family. When Lanita left the café to pursue her own catering business, she kindly left the “buttermilk pie” recipe to become the cafés signature dessert. You may not think of buttermilk as “sweet” but let me tell you this pie is the sweetest thing on earth! It’s best eaten while warm, served up with whipped cream on top. You have my word; once you taste “buttermilk pie” you will never forget Yesterday’s Café in Rutledge and this wonderful slice of heaven on earth!

Thanks for all you do for us just with your words of fun and inspiration! I LOVE your blog and can't wait to buy your book. Feel free to save your best for that book!! Wish us luck, Pam

FabTheMayor said...

Our church used to sponsor a monthly date night. The second Saturday of each month, from 5-9, drop your kids at the church, pay $2/kid for pizza, and you are free. The cost to you? Take your turn keeping kids at the church - usually twice a year...10 dates a year...probably more than you get now. Plus,the kids are so busy playing with each other, because they already know each other, the months that it's your turn to keep the rugrats ('scuse me, I mean kids), your time flies by and it's time to go home before you know it. Quite a utilized ministry at my church.

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