Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's a Smurf! It's a Blueberry! No, it's Brooklyn!

Today has been, well it's been the kind of day that makes you want to pack a bag and head to the nearest airport. My husband hasn't been doing any side jobs since all this craziness with the auction started about a month ago. Since I've been spending an insane amount of time reading email, fielding job offers and interview requests, and trying to get some real writing done, he's been coming home after his regular job and helping out here at home. It's been awesome! I had no idea things could be this easy with a husband who only works 40 hours a week. (It's all in what you're used to.) Anyway, when I realized how far behind we were slipping with our bills (gotta pay that electric bill or no computer - gasp!), I told him that I'd manage and he really needed to take on some side jobs. So, today he did. I've been seriously spoiled this past month and had nearly forgotten what it was like being on my own all day.

Jackson came home from school, walked to his room, and emerged crying his eyes out.

'Great! What did your brother do this time?' was my first thought. In between sobs, I made out that his hermit crab had died. Ugh. This is my most sensitive kid. He's devastated. What do you do for this? Do hermit crabs fall in the "flushable category"? Should they be buried in the yard with a ceremony? Is it wrong to just toss it into the garbage? This pet didn't play fetch. He didn't know any tricks. He pretty much just hung out in a coconut shell all day, every day. Despite that, Jax is really broken up about it. Right now poor little Bahama, the deceased hermit crab, is sitting in a plastic bag until my son can pull himself together enough to decide what he wants to do.

My little Lex is sick and stayed home from school today.

After breakfast, while sweeping an entire loaf of crumbs off my floor, I saw a lock of hair. Light brown hair. To whose head did this hair belong? I held it up to Lex's head. Nope. I held it up to Clay's head. Maybe. I held it up to Brooklyn's head and as I did, I noticed a small chunk missing from her scalp. Great. The poor kid hardly has any hair to begin with and now she's had her first haircut courtesy of her brother. Thanks Clay.

I was finishing up some email before going to start dinner when I saw the baby walk in my room looking like this...




Nice, huh? She looks like Violet with the chewing gum from Willie Wonka, but instead of turning into a blueberry, she's just drooling out blue goo. Savannah was making gum from a kit my dear, wonderful, sister-in-law and brother-in-law gave her. If I hadn't already, I want to THANK YOU for that GREAT gift idea, Kelly and Ross. Anyway, Savannah had left out a small container of food coloring and needless to say, Brooklyn found it. How fun!
Don't give me that innocent look, Missy! This is Brooklyn after being cleaned up.
Is 6:00 to early to send the kids to bed?
Clay, after spending most of the day just spazzing out, blurted out, in the middle of dinner...
CLAY: I have a friend named Twindy.
ME: Oh really?
CLAY: Uh huh.
ME: Where does Twindy live?
CLAY: She lives far, far away.
ME: I see. How old is Twindy?
CLAY: She's taller than me. She's taller than everyone in our whole family.
ME: Do I know Twindy? Have I ever seen her?
CLAY: Yes, you got gas, remember?
ME: thoroughly confused Huh???
CLAY: You drove me there and got gas for your car and I slept over at her house.
ME: I drove you to Twindy's house so you could sleep over?
CLAY: Yes.
ME: When did you meet her?
CLAY: Five years ago.
ME: Interesting. You do know you're only three years old now, right? So what does Twindy look like?
CLAY: She has purple hair. And she has matching Wiggles jammies.
ME: Purple hair?! Wow! What do you do with Twindy?
CLAY: She likes to play on the beach with dolphins.
ME: Naturally
CLAY: Will you take me to her house again?
ME: Sure! Can I go along too and pretend that I live a normal life while I'm there?
CLAY: laughing hysterically Mom, you're silly!

133 comments:

tammy b said...

thank you, although i DO feel your pain, the blue face REALLY made my day ;D

MBKimmy said...

OMG I am first!!! hahaha
love it!
I never really comment because I know how busy you are!
Thanks for keeping me laughing!

suburbancorrespondent said...

Dear Lord, I hate pets. Not that I have anything against animals, I just hate to see my kids cry. Once they left some caterpillars outside on the porch in a box with some leaves and it rained and the creatures drowned and the children were inconsolable. Another time, we hatched (or grew, or whatever) some butterflies and one sort of didn't make it all the way out of the cocoon and died what looked like an agonizing butterfly death and I thought I was going to throw up. There is no way I would risk having a real pet. Besides, the last thing I need in this house is something else that poops.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dawn,

Wow, your post is early tonight for those of us in the Eastern Time Zone. It is only 10pm here.

Poor Brooklyn....I hope the blue stain comes off her beautiful face soon.....You didn't mention, but I am sure you have blue stain "dots" all over your house now right? ;)

All I know is that I want to be Twindy...she sounds like she has a fascinating life....

Have a wonderful Wednesday Dawn....

Donna from Brockport, NY :)

suburbancorrespondent said...

Oh, and my kids' faces look like that when they suck the "juice" out of the magic markers.

~Steph said...

I'm laughing hysterically too! and 6pm is not too early to send them to bed!!!

Carissa said...

I think we all remember the loss of our first pet. And Brooklyn looks like Smurfette!

Nicki said...

Oh yes, you silly crazy mommy, you're life is perfectly normal now:) Brooklyn looks just like my baby this morning after eating a wildberry toaster streudel with bright blue icing. Nutritious I know, but hey my 7 year old made his two younger brothers breakfast and let me sleep. I'm gonna take it! And don't worry about the craziness. You'll get back into the swing of things. I know how you feel. My husband works 10-14 hour days. You are not alone, hang in there.

Porter Family said...

What moron thought that a make-at-home gum kit was a good idea? Better yet, what company thought it was so good that they marketed it?? These people obviously have NEVER been exposed to normal children.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing your mon- er... Son got Twindy from one of those crazy children's cartoons they have now. Stay away from those if you wish to keep your sanity.

Oh wait...

Mols said...

Oh, poor Jackson! Losing a pet is so rough! Are you sure the crab is dead, though? I know sometimes they look dead and they've only molted. Of course if he's currently in a plastic bag the point may be moot! =P

One tip from a hermit crab owner: if you bury the crab, don't give him a shallow grave. They don't disintegrate well AT ALL! Trust me on this one! I learned the hard way! Twice.

Thanks again for your AWESOME blog and the laughs. It's great to have someone who says everything that you think in your mind about parenting, but are too mousy to voice out loud!

Keep up the good work!
Molly

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

You have officially made it to status: WONDERWOMAN. No husband in the evening to give you a break? My kids would be completely bald and every surface in the house would have a nice shade of crayon.

cherylj. said...

My husband and I had to go into Boston today for a stupid, legal matter (which took all of 10 minutes, tops... we spent more time trying to figure out the INSANE public transportation system while attempting to get to our destination on time, than actually being in the room inside the building where we were supposed to wind up!! Ugh!). At some point in our various conversations, my husband extended me the offer to "take off" on my own. I looked at the gas gauge, and after thinking for a minute, and trying to calculate just how far I could get on 3/4 of a tank of gas, I looked at him, and serious as a heart attack, replied, "Don't tempt me." Needless to say, he quickly changed the subject.

As for hermit crabs... we've had trauma in our house surrounding those, as well. Our middle child became enormously attached to two small, wee, shell-covered creatures, which she aptly named Hermina and Pincer. Apparently, if they do not have enough of a selection of empty shells to choose from once they begin the whole molting process, and they don't find one they deem an "appropriate" home once they've left their former shell, they simply crawl into a corner and die. I would have appreciated the 16-year-old, pimply faced boy at the pet store telling me that little tidbit BEFORE we went and bought the things for my daughter as pets. Even I was a bit heartsick... Hermina took a liking to me, and would come out onto my hand immediately after picking her up to spray her.

Their empty shells still sit on a shelf in our bathroom. My daughter couldn't bear to get rid of them. Knowing how sensitive her little heart is, I'm sure she'll never forget them.

xox C.

{Betsy} said...

Dawn, I love the conversation you had with Clay! Little guys have the most fun imagination! Twindy sounds like a fun friend, LOL! Bummer about him cutting little Brooklyn's hair, but at least it is something that will grow out. Sounds like you had quite a day!

GlennyBear said...

Ha oh god you remind me so much of my mum, she has the same sarcasticky sense of humor.
I randomly found you Pokemon ebay action (which led me here) with a random website clicker thing, made me laugh, as for the smurf of a kid you got up there, adorable.
x

Sarah said...

She looks pretty cute covered in blue.

Cindy said...

Ohhh.. are you sure the little crabby was dead? I had gotten my daughter two crabbies and thought they had died, but the had molted (shed their exoskeleton)... both at the same time. I almost threw them out and then realized that there was a new tiny little pink crab in the shell.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say thank you so much for making me laugh! your blog is like my "guilty pleasure" every night. I am studying for my NP and at the end of the day (well night) I love to come read what you have to say. You tell the best kid stories! I've got 3, but now the baby is 9! Sometimes I just miss the little ones so much! Their take on life is just such a scream. It seems like just yesterday that my 19 year old was telling me about pals she "visited" with, even though they don't really exsist. I see her walk through the door and I am amazed!
Thanks so much for bringing me back...

susan in fl said...

I'm sorry your day was so rough. I doubt it's any consolation, but mine pretty much stunk too. And starting tomorrow my husband is out of town til Saturday. :( Hope things start to get easier for you and you two learn to balance all your new fame and needing to pay the bills...*sigh*

Here's to tomorrow..... :)

Sis Sarah said...

I keep finding little tufts of hair in our basement, My DD for some reason keeps thinking i won't notice.

Oh my gosh, if my family gave my DD a bubble gum kit, it would end up at there house where she can do it there. he he

Don't you just love the random thoughts of a child.

Tanya Brown said...

I think that, for practical and emotional reasons, your kid's being sensitive probably trumps the fact that Mr./Ms. Hermit Crab couldn't be walked on a leash or fetch a ball.

By all means, do whatever is necessary to comfort the bereaved survivor, up to and including a full funeral ceremony with bagpipes. Get the rest of your kids involved - the older ones can make refreshments for a wake, and the younger ones can find an appropriate box and a nice scrap of fabric to line it with.

peejayscrap said...

Hi, just wanted to leave a message to say I was sent a link to your recent eBay (Pokemon cards) auction and, after I wiped the tears (from laughter and sympathy) was not only very impressed with the 179,257 views that you got but the great description. It has lead me to your blog and I hope you don't mind if I pop in from time to time - you write so well.

Cheers

Patty said...

Let's proclaim September 26, 2007 one million day. You only need about 6,000 more hits. What time zone do we use? It's 11 p.m. now on the east coast. You could hit it tonight on the west coast.

To celebrate, do something crazy. Lock yourself in the bathroom long enough to read an entire magazine article.

jtcosby said...

HILARIOUS! I looked in the backseat today and my 3 year old boy had drawn on the little girl sitting next to him in the car...NOT HIS SISTER!! I was horrified! This is a 5 month old 1st child and my son had probably given her ink poisoning! NICE! Feel your pain my friend!

jbrealtor said...

Gotta say we had a hermit crab that was "dead" for a couple of months before the miraculous resurrection. What kind of mother left it in the tank thing for a couple of months with no movement? One that clearly had better things to do! Crab eventually died and the kid is grown. Another example of no harm no foul.
Janet

Tricia said...

Your post tonight makes me bask in the joy that is childhood. The blue face, the utter heartbreak and despair over a beloved yet totally non-interacting pet, the wonderful story of the imaginary friend...

Life may be crazy and exhausting keeping up with those rugrats, but can you really imagine your life without them?

Anonymous said...

First time I've left a comment but I've been reading your blog for a bit. You are my hero!! And give Jackson a hug. I know how it hurts to lose a pet.

I used to be one of those "awesome aunties" who gave presents like gum making kits. Swore up, down sideways and any which way that fate couldn't get me back because I wasn't having children. There are alot of fingerpainting kits out there with my name on them.

Well fate is getting the last laugh. I am about to become a step mother to three boys. Ages 16, 9 & 7. They are amazing kids but yes my friends are already planning what THEY will be getting for Christmas.

I hope I can be 1/10th the parent you are. Thank you for the inspiration, the laughs and maybe some helpful advice!!

Margaret

piecqueen said...

The loss of a hermit crab doesn't get easier as you get older. My roommate, 24 years old, had her pet crab Roscoe P. Coletrain, die, and she was absolutely devastated. She cried for two weeks. I offered to get her a new one, but she sobbed "It wouldn't be the same!"

ashleigh said...

I have 7 siblings, and although I only live with 5, I know what you go through. Being the oldest and the built in baby sitter, I find my two little brothers covered in orange marker on a daily basis, my little sisters dump nail polish all over the ktichen table, the use a stamp pad to 'decorate' the wall. The things they do drive me crazy, I swear. But if they ever brought me a snakeskin, I'd freak.

MKB said...

This is a bizarre twist but the friend who originally sent me your ebay listing in a link JUST sent me photos of her son that look EXACTLY like the ones of Brooklyn!! Although his lips were tinted from a blue stamp pad his older sibs were using...it was basically the exact same hue and everything!!
HAHAHAHAHA
Happens to the best of us!!

super des said...

Hey, I have purple hair sometimes. Maybe I am really Twindy.

Anonymous said...

I have been enjoying your blog since the Pokemon auction. I'm in the Chicagoland area, too. I teach young children and find your stories to just be hilarious. Great work...can't wait to read more.

Laura said...

I had one of those days too! I have gotten spoiled with my husband only working half days. (but only half able to help due to a back injury) He happened to work a full day today and lets just say the day didn't go well at all.

At 6:15pm tonight (yes I made it 15 mins longer than you) I too asked "Is it too early to send them to bed?"

I read your blog daily and can relate to so many of your stories. I laugh out loud each evening when I am reading... and after a day like today... a dead hermit crab, some cut hair, and a blue mouth was just what the doctor ordered!

Thanks!

marcia99116 said...

totally loving the conversation with clay - my bff has a daughter is 3 who is making up friends with TV character names (like diego & franklin) - except they are way different than the tv characters! She is a little stressed about it I kept telling her it is normal... but she will eventually get over it when the new baby (her 3rd) comes in Oct.

Anonymous said...

what is a smurf ?!?!?!

stephanie said...

LOL
I love that picture of Brooklynn covered in blue:) it is soo cute!
I also love your blog, keep up the good work ;-0 ***********************

Anonymous said...

My Oh My!!! The memories of those days... THANK GOD THEY ARE PAST!! LOL Actually you have brought up the most wonderful memories I have about my kids. The diaper cream is another one that happened to me too! I always wondered what drew them to think it tasted good?? LOL

Keep up the good work and let us know what you do with the Hermit Crabs!

~~Rhonda

Anonymous said...

Uh oh, I don't remember your carpet having that blue in it! But I bet it does now!

Becky said...

LOL, Dawn...I can so relate! Except it was my rainbow assortment of stamp pads that colored my toddler son's hands and face!

Whatever you do, I don't suggest letting your child ever bury their pet in the plant in their bedroom so they can always know where the pet was buried. My sister did that with a goldfish when we were young, and when the plant fell over a month or so later during routine childish rough-housing, a tiny little skeleton fell out, and brought back all the grief again. Better to do the Nemo "All rivers flow to the sea" burial, with the family all standing around solemnly around the toilet while your son gets to flush. ;0)

nutralady2001 said...

Stephanie a smurf is a little blue cartoon character. (google it I'm sure you'll find pics.) Pappa Smurf is the leader.

What is really disturbing is there is only one female smurf....in the whole town. At least she is the only one you see. Somehow the kids never cotton on to that fact :)

Going back to bathtimes, years ago my DS (the one who is now 31) who was about 4 years old at the time had a bath. In the time it took me to leave the bathroom, get a towel etc he had dumped the whole of my new purchased very expensive face cleanser in the water in an attempt to make bubbles! Silly me to leave it on the edge of the bath

That taught me I never left anything like that with easy reach ever again

Rick said...

I had an imaginary friend that was a snake named "Blackie." Any garden hose could work as a stand in - black ones were preferred - of course.

Rick

http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

The Smurfs were little Blue people that were on T.V. back when a lot of us were young. It was a really great cartoon and I wish they still had them on for my kids to watch. A lot better than some of the junk today. Oh this is for the post asking what a smurf is lol.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say, I hope (and pray) that you being "discovered" leads you to be able to live more comfortably w/o your hubby having to put in extra hours! You are a gem!

Kila said...

Hermit crabs didn't last long here. I forget what we did with them when they died. I think, like with yours, they sat in a plastic bag, until I finally just threw them away. Poor things.

Clay is hilarious! Smart, too.

I hope the blue fades quickly. At least she's not yellow and jaundiced ;)

dan said...

Hey Ladies/Mom's;
I am a Father of 2, a 2 year old daughter and a 5 month old son. I came home from work the other day and noticed my daughter had a face lift. My wife told me that our daughter decided to taste a brown fat marker. She said it tasted like chocolate. I bent down to asker again what it tasted like and she replied the same. Then I just stood up and laughed as I walked away. My son was in his swing making fart noises and laughing. I knew I was in the crazy house. I changed my clothes, why I have no idea, and went to spent time with the kids. I knew for some reason I shouldn't have changed. But anyway, I was playing with my daughter and she pulled out a chocolate chip cookie from where I don't know, and smashed it in my clean shirt. Then as I was cleaning it up, she spit her juice on my jeans. I thought I was in a zoo. After changing again, I decided maybe I would have a better chance with my son. He is only 5 months old, so what damage can he do? Wrong!!!! My wife forgot to tell me she just finished giving him his bottle moments before I walked in. She obviously was trying to teach me a lesson, for some reason. I picked up my son and put him on the floor. He started crying, so i picked him up and sat him on my lap. Started bouncing him a little. A volcano erupted all over my 2nd clean shirt, 2nd clean pair of jeans, and 2nd clean pair of socks. At this point I figured I would take a shower or bath and bring everyone in for a bath party. But I didn't. I wanted to get a NASA suit and put it on and resume playing and let both of them attack me with what ever they had. Spit-up, juice, chocolate, whatever... My wife sat down cleaned up most of the mess, and handed me my dinner. It was Hamburger Helpper without the hamburger. So it was Helpper time. Surprisingly, my daughter sat there picking the noodles from my plate and eating them. I figured it was cute and she was still hungry. My wife didn't tell me that our daughter didn't eat because she was putting the noodles on our son's head and body. I gathered up my laughter and proceeded to eat, what was left. My daughter looked so cute sitting next to me, like an angel. Then I asked her what she did to her brother and he reply was, "Nothing, he was bad." I asked what she did to him, again. She told me, "He ate my noodles. So I throw it at him. He was bad." I asked me wife what happened and explained to me that our son spit up a little on our daughter's stuff animal. Nothing big, but still did it. So our daughter decided to teach a 5 month old a lesson on food fighting. I told my wife that I am going to work late every night this week and most of the weekends until the kids move out. I don't know how you MOM'S do it each and every day. I can't even deal with the people at work who act like my kids.
I have been reading your post/blog ever since I received an email about your ebay Pokemon card auction. I live in Illinois as well. But since you are near Randell Rd. I am closer to Woodfield Mall. Small world... Great idea about writing a book. People have been telling me that for years and I never did it. Keep up the great work.

Laylian said...

I remember my hermit crab when I was about 4... My big brother was supposed to take it for show & tell the next morning and the cat got it. I was little and I still remember it.

I wish you luck on the decision he makes... If he's that sensitive, I'd use the burial method... give him the opportunity to visit him. If ya flush, he's gone...

Andrea said...

We have a similiar 'Twindy' in our house as well.

Lauren said...

oh goodness to the blue face!

and i love the last conversation. ;)

KARA said...

wow what a day, I know I shouldn't laugh but my its so funny in your world, mine is so mundane yours certainley isn't, bless little clay what a cute little tale. and little en looking soooo cute the poor top ruined i bet, god knows what your washing pile is like.
hope today runs a little smoother
kara
xx

l. king said...

I own hermit crabs. I am 29 and hopelessly attached to them. However, I wouldn't keep the critter for very long if it really is dead. They smell so bad!! I would convince your son that that the crab went to hermie heaven and it's time to let it go. Don't flush either...not the best solution.
If he's molting he won't smell, they become very inactive when they begin the process. Sometimes the only way you can tell if they're dead is the smell..YUCK!
Hang in there.
L. (Queen of useless information)

Kim said...

My daughter had an imaginary friend for years. We just went with it. It did get a little annoying when we would forget and "sit" on her and my daughter would have a fit. Oh well, just shows she was creative. And, at 6 years old "Holly" and "Hodo" are now gone. Yeah. I feel for you with the dead hermit crab. My daughter used to cry every evening in the summer when she had to set free the frogs that she had caught. She actually had to kiss them goodbye and they're not even dead. Yuck!

Happy Momma said...

I'm right there with you on this one, my husband works a minimum of 58+ hours a week with most weeks being 68+, if he was home more I don't know what I would do with him there! People at church fuss cause their hubby didn't make it home until 5:15 for dinner, I just am thrilled he is home before 7:30!

Ken Tanis said...

You don't remember Twindy? Silly Mommy... :)

laurac19 said...

I think your Berber carpet has blue specks in it, right? So the blue on little Lex's face should blend in quite well... :) What a doll she is... the upside to the gum making kit is that the gum didn't end up in anybody's hair...

My heart goes out to Jackson. :( It's always tough for a child to lose a pet, even when it's not a snuggly one.

I hope Brooklyn's hair grows back soon...

Have a great rest of the week Dawn!

Laura

Terra said...

What a beautiful blue baby! And wow! Your page loaded quickly today. I was impressed... Thanks for taking time out of your crazy schedule to post a little tidbit for our reading enjoyment. But seriously, you shouldn't feel guilty about taking a day off now and then. Even God rested :D Have a great day.

Mama Koch said...

It may of worn off by now, but toothpaste will take off the blue stain. Having raised/raising three boys, we had lots of blue/red/green whatever colored faces, and it was always before we had to be somewhere!

Anonymous said...

Ok, Baby's new "Miss Innocent" needs to replace "Chocolate Baby". She is precious. Good luck finding "Twindy's" house again. I'm sure Clay is correct in that you drove him there. With running 6 kiddos everywhere, you just forgot. :):) I'm into grandbabies now and it is so much fun. My DH says that if he had known gb were so much fun, we would have had them first. LOL

Christina said...

My husband and I brought hermit crabs home from Atlantic City and they died within two weeks. Luckily, we were the ones who discovered them and told DD that they weren't feeling well, so we sent them to an animar farm to get better. She bought it and never asked about them again.

Mich said...

Awww, Brooklyn is adorable, blue face and all.

What an interesting day. I'm sorry Jackson lost his little buddy. If you really can't decide, I would suggest burrying it. I don't think it's flushable and I definitely would not toss it in the trash-- too smelly. Not that trash isn't smelly, but also I don't think Jackson would appreciate that.

Your 3yo has me in stitches! Clay is a riot! He has some imagination!

Anonymous said...

Brooklyn's beautiful hair will grow right back out ... and it could have been worse.

One morning a few years ago, my son and the middle of my three daughters (who was about two at the time) woke up early to "make breakfast".

My son put a whirring hand-held mixer up to his hair, pretending to style it, and as he had a buzzed haircut, no harm was done.

Then he puts the mixer up to his little sister's hair ... and managed to rip out a quarter-sized chunk of hair on her scalp that remained a bald spot for over a year. Classic.

Emma's Mommy said...

I discovered your blog because of your ebay sale. Loved it!!!! I only have one child, but feel pulled in all directions. You have six and actually are being pulled in all directions, but you do it with a smile! You are an inspriation to ALL moms! Thanks for the laughs. Can't wait to see you on TV and to read your book!

Anonymous said...

Heh. I remember one particularily lonnnng day with our toddler and at some point during the evening (well before bedtime), my husband looked at me and said "How did it get to be so early?"

Cindy in the Boston suburbs

Isaiah5513 said...

We have 4 dead hermit crabs in our freezer. My 9 year old buried the first one that died, only to have raccoons try to dig it up. Ever since, he's stuck them in the freezer. I don't allow him to have them anymore.

houseofdanes said...

What a great day you had :) Don't you sometimes feel like you're literally losing your mind?
I love the Smurf comment, my oldest Benji used to love the smurfs and that had to be a long time ago because he's 26 now!!!
Hang in there!
tami

Julie Pretz said...

No husband, dead crabs, blue faces, hair clumps on the floor, and Twindy; I feel your joy :)
Thanks for sharing your "normal life" with us!

Chelly said...

I remember when my kitchen was turned blue, red, and green thanks to food coloring left out.. Who would have thought a toddler could open one of those up and think it would be fun to drink, squirt, and draw with.. Oh my older kids thought that wouldn't happen if they just left them out because they didn't feel like putting them away once done with them....

All moments remembered said...

OHHHHh I hope that Brooklyn only got that on her! How does the rest of the house look? YIKES!! Those are evil relatives that gave such a gift!! LOL!!! I would sooo send a unwashable finger paint to their house. I have the cure for such gifts though!! I tell my family sure give then whatever you want as long as you plan to have them at your house to use it!!! Amazing the quiet mellow toys we get now!! Books are very popular too with my family to give as gifts.
Well my dear this stay at home mom starts her new job today at the kids school. I am a bit nervous since I only know being a very busy stay at home mommy!! Wish me luck! One friend told me it will be like going on a vacation every day! LOL
Stacey

Brenda said...

Ack. I bet that blue stuff tasted nasty even if she did look....entertaining. Miss Twindy sounds like a character from Dr. Seuss!

wencanscrap said...

Twindy huh? My three and a half year old is always telling me about "clown" who's five and lives with us, but only "sometimes" and in her words "Sheesh mom, he can't live here all the time, he has his own mama and dada too!" to which I answered, "oh" What else are you supposed to say to that logic?

Matchbox Mom said...

Dawn,
Oh poor Jax! I totally feel for him. What a tender hearted little guy. On the upside, Brooklyn looks smashing in blue goo.
I was laughing hysterically at your conversation with Spaz...to which my 3 year old came over and sat by me and started laughing without knowing why...I looked at him and stopped laughing..so did he. Then I started laughing again, and he continued. It's so funny how 3 years olds are! You've gotta love em.

Tami

Anonymous said...

Wow! I'm number 1000012 to hit your site! Congratulations! That's great! One million hits must be so exciting! Hope the ad revenue exceeds the counter fee. :-)

Thanks for mentioning the cancer kids. My friend has a five year old daughter with cancer. It makes the first day of kindergarten a particularly poignant event.

I have a baby with a CHD (congenital heart defect) and since he's going to make it through his second surgery without a problem (lots of people are saying prayers to that effect), we're planning a huge first birthday party and inviting all the people who have been so helpful to us through this time.

Thanks for sharing your gift of laughter. It's been great therapy in this stressful time. I'll have to remember to invite you and your family to the first birthday bash when the time comes!

--A reader who doesn't generally buy books (that's what libraries are for) but will make an exception here

MarshmallowMommy said...

I think if you eat blue, it comes out green on the other end. Just wanted to give you a heads up. :-)

Jessica said...

eek, careful. Hermit crabs molt.. I didn't know that.. neither did my parents. So when we found what appeared to be his body we were all bummed.. Mom went to boil his old shell to sterilize it... and out came that poor crab looking naked without his shell.. My mom boiled the poor thing to death.. Needless to say, that was the last pet my dad let us have for YEARS!! So.. you might double check if the thing crawled out of its shell and died.. maybe it's just it's old skin..

healthymomof2 said...

Awe - poor little guy! When we have a smallish pet like that die I have the child say a little something about how their little critter friend made them so happy. Thank them for all the joy they brought them. Then we say goodbye and have a great journey! Either they get flushed or buried after that.

Love the blue face! I feel your pain. When my youngest was about 18 months she had a blue mouth like that and then subsequently blue was coming out the other end. SHe had gotten a hold of a blue crayola marker tip which she ate.

Good luck!

Tiffany said...

LOL at your blue faced little Brooklyn! The joys of Parenthood.

Stefanie said...

6 pm bedtime - yep!! A shot of benedryl and off they go!!! I have 3 boys here and a military husband. My youngest is a special needs child and I want to thank you for constantly making me laugh!!! You are an inspiration!

Kelly said...

6 pm is NOT too early! I know when I have to work late, my hubby will put the kids to bed slightly early. I don't know how he does it...when I am out of town on business, he manages to be both Mom and Dad..I'm going to get a taste of that for a few days when he travels to California this weekend.

Anonymous said...

Hey, love your blog. Thanks for the laughs.

Congrats on a million plus hits! :D

- Steph, P'cola, FL

KATE said...

Oh, your poor little guy! How sad to lose a little pet, no matter how unexciting the pet might be. The poor little Jackson! I love the food coloring too, that is definitely worth a revenge gift to your brother & sister in law!
Twindy sounds facinating, I'd love to meet her some day too!! ha ha
- Kate

Anonymous said...

*****Congratulations*****

...On reaching the ONE MILLION mark!

Yipppeeee for Dawn!

cakeburnette said...

We had 3 hermit crabs die last year (two were murdered by the 3rd, who then wasted away because once he had eaten his "friends" he refused to eat regular crab food). We buried ours in the back yard in a small box.

If we ever get another one, we'll only get one because the cannibalism was quite disturbing.

Oh, and BTW, my kids are named after places, too! But there are only 2 of them (I also have an Austin & my daughter is Shelby)

Multiple Mom T said...

My first thought was "Oh No! She got blue toilet cleaner on her face!" but then I thought you wouldn't be so calm as to take pictures!! With 6 yr old triplets and a 4 1/2 yr old and a husband that works insane amounts of hours, I FEEL YOUR PAIN!! Thank you for the laughs!!

Alto2 said...

Those "make your own" mess kits ought to be outlawed ... or re-gifted ASAP. I only give them to people (or children) whom I despise.

Shall we call this Brooklyn's "blue period" a la Picasso?? I'm just sayin'.

Nicole said...

Aww your poor son with his hermit crab. Loved the name. Yanno, you should have your own sitcom lol. I swear it sounds like it would be a hit! I know I would watch it...Have a good one. BTW when people give you awards, some people go and post them on their blog or site. I dunno if anyone explained it but I thought I'd give it a try and tell ya. I really enjoy reading your blogs. Just found the site a week or so ago and it's the highlight of my otherwise boring life. You brighten it up! Take care...

Zeb's Mom said...

All I have to say is I think that I have had a similar conversation with my 3 1/2 year old. Ours was more like: Mom do you remeber when my sister Ella and I went to my Grandmother's and played playdough? He doesn't have a sister or a brother. However, the stories continue about things they do together... I need to get that child a sibling!!!

Keep up the good work and thanks for giving me a good laugh!

Wendy

Sarah said...

I just want to tell you I can't write much comments but I am a huge fan of your blog and your candid and oh so refreshing picture of motherhood! I live in El Salvador, Central America. So now you know you are famous all over the continent!!!
Sarah

Angela Pell said...

Oh my! Poor Brooklyn and poor mom. I hope she's back to her peachy color in no time!

Char said...

Oh the wonders of having a conversation with a 3 year old! I too want to go live with Twindy...do let me know when you plan on going :)

Anonymous said...

Your lil blue smurf brought back a memory of when my son was three. His was a orange marker that he'd drawn all over his legs. Of course the conversation went like: Me: Jackson! What do we write on with markers? Him: uhhh...paper? Me: Exactly! What were you thinking? Him:...uhhh..my legs were paper? Me: Now son, do I look stupid to you?(wrong question!!) Him: uhhh, jus a little!..
Needless to say...I was laughing at that comment and thought to myself never to ask that question again!!LOL
Thanks for the laughs!
Missouri Mom

Katie said...

Didn't read the other comments so I don't know if this has been said before...but if you haven't already you'll want to take care of that dead hermit crab *fast*! They stink to high heaven after they've been dead for a day or so...but you can prevent that by popping it in an empty coffee can and sticking it in the freezer until he's ready for burial.

Don't ask how I know that. Just...don't. :-P

Becky in Wyo said...

I doubt I have anything original to say, that hasn't been said already. But I do LOVE your blog, and I'll throw in a comment here to help keep your numbers up. Although, if you're still trying to read all of them, maybe I won't comment so often. God bless you and your family!

Anonymous said...

Love your blog. And I love reading the comments - the one about what's goes in as blue comes out green is spoken like a true mommy!

All the best,
J

Ms said...

Ahh gotta love the imagination of a three year old. My Son at 2.5 (now 4) had a blue polar bear friend named Chyneena. I like you had pretty much the same reaction. Hmmmm . . . .

Best Wishes!
Jody (in Gurnee)

Anonymous said...

No, 6 isn't too early to put them to bed... :)

Someone forwarded me this on YouTube and I thought it was worth passing along - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_oc1j5NakY

Bev in Iowa

Anonymous said...

I may be slow on the sarcasm...but I can spot an irony when I see it!!!! LOL! My sister used to have little "birdies" that would be made with the pointer as the head, and the thumb and last three fingers used as wings/legs. I have no idea how many she made, but far more than the hands she had to make them!!!

Anonymous said...

I love the way you write, it makes me feel like I am right there. Whether that is good or bad... well depends if brooklyn is going to get me with the blue dye! LOL Reading your blog is a highlight of my day. Keet it up, its nice to know that I am not the only one that feeds pudding to a kid for breakfast.

Nancy said...

Just be thankful the imaginary friends aren't fighting. My oldest's son's use to fight.

Talk about needing a drink!

Blythe said...

Oh My.. that was priceless. Thank you for the laugh. I feel MUCH better now.

I am SO with you on those wonderful candy making kits. It would be much much better if the wonderful person giving the gift just came over and dumped dry sugar powder on my kitchen floor.. and then spit in it just enough to stain and stickify my floors.

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!
i love that pic. of brooklyn:)
that should definatily
replace the chocolate pic.!!!

stephanie said...

Oh and BTW I meant the *innocent* pic. ;)

plainprecious said...

Ahhhhhh you better check online about hermit crabs. We had one and thought it was dead and it wasnt. Check online aobut them they arent always dead when you think they are. We buried ours and when kids checked the GRAVE it ws missing and found it had dug its way out of cemetery and was in fact ALIVE

Cake Lady said...

Oh! Please don't flush the crab. Something about flushing animals just gives me the willies.

Kylie said...

My husband had a hermit crab named Dr. Zoidberg. (He was named after the Dr. on the show Futurama.) He was at least 5 when he died, and he was the first pet "we" had together when we started dating. We buried his body in the yard, and still have his shell on a shelf.

Anti said...

your SIL and BIL obviously don't have kids....

TracyKM said...

My mom complains because EVERY picture I have ever emailed her of my third child, has been like Brooklyn. Then we went to visit them for a few days, and she understood, LOL.

carrie & troy keiser said...

Laughing my head off right now about the blue face! :-P We have not found the food coloring, yet ... just pens, markers, fingernail polish and make-up!

Anonymous said...

My father was just telling me last week about the funerals we HAD to have for various fish and my brother's hamster. He HAD to make a coffin and it HAD to be lined and we HAD to have a prayer at the grave site followed by the making of a headstone. I remember nothing of this and he was so very offended. BTW, I'm 45. Go with the funeral...if nothing else it will be something to bring up when they are older.

peach said...

my youngest is soon going to be 16, some of the things you have posted have brought back memories. One is that both doors in my bedroom still bear the drawings of my daughter. she had colored the entire room (perminant marker)just over knee high in black perminant pen. we have painted the room but decided to keep the doors. I called her to my room and asked her to inspect her art work and to decide if it needed any adjustment.

we decided that she could paint her own bed room this year... she has two walls blue with orange stars and two walls orange with blue bubbles and her closet is a interesting assortment of things she chose to paint ! I wonder if pictures can be attached? or embedded? hummm think i will try it.

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/5741/1003393aj1.jpg

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/2053/1003398ju7.jpg

thanks always for the memories and the laughs
I can't wait for your book:-)

Anonymous said...

Dawn-

Your blog is a such a reminder to me how crazy life is with kids and you make me feel NORMAL. Whatever that is, right? LOL. Well...I appreciate your wit and can't wait to read your blog nightly before I turn in for the night.

Shari
Florence, Oregon

Matchbox Mom said...

Oh!! I forgot to tell you that once we flushed a fish...we had a funeral for him...we held hands and sang, 'God be with you til we meet again.' It still makes me chuckle...
Oh goodness...

Tami
PS: Please don't flush the crab.

Becky said...

Hi Dawn,

Keep up the great work with writing and ... oh that little side job raising those great kids!

I saw this video (MIL sent it, she also sent me your blog last month ... and I thought she WANTED grandchildren!) and I just thought of you and all your wonderful readers! I don't always read the comments so sorry if someone has already directed you this way but it is a good laugh:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=w_oc1j5NakY

Cheers!

Jackie in OK said...

Dawn, Thank you for making my day brighter every day! I have been reading yur blog for a while and have never commented, but you help me remember there are other moms out there "changing the world, one diaper at a time!"

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn,
I love your blog and read it daily. Every once in a while, it makes me laugh so hard that I figure I should be generous and share it with hubby. Your conversation with Clay was one of those.
You are an amazing mom!
-Stacy
stacyandgreg@hotmail.com

momof8 said...

You are such a breath of fresh air which with 5 boys at home, we need it! I am not much of a blogger fan but yours has caught me. thanks.

Anonymous said...

Are you positive the hermit crab is dead? They molt....and the "old" bodies look exactly like a dead body! I'd hang on to it for a little longer as gross as that sounds! Just to be sure! The real guy might still be hanging in the shell or in the sand. =)

Anonymous said...

Other Gifts of Distinction:

Play-Doh: ANY/ALL especially if it has thingys that mince it into bits

Alien Blood (cannot be removed from ceiling paint when thrown in that general direction)

SuperElasticBubblePlastic: Both Useless AND Flammable!!!

Science Experiments that Will Make even the most seasoned Child-Bearing Adults Vomit (or at least wretch) and stick to or stain EVERYTHING:

Gross and Cool Body Stuff
Worm World
Roach World
Sewer Slime
Revolting Recipes

Then there is the:
(Benign) Butterfly net. . . not used for butterflies, per se

and

It's ALIVE!! Make Your Own Yogurt!

Ant Farms: Really cheap and plentiful at TJ Maxx; I wonder WHY

The Voice Morpher

The "Parent's Award" Parade Instruments packed in a DRUM

Air Horns (given with a One Pound Bag of M&M's)

Holy Mother of Aching Brain Cells

I'm a grandmother now and I can still
still
still
feel the pain

Grandmummy

I have lots of experience. Please feel free to e-mail me:
k_lundgren002@yahoo.com

stephanie said...

Hey matchbox mom are you LDS{mormon ?
The reason I asked is because i'm LDS
and that is a LDS song. So just wondering.

tAnYeTTa said...

hi dawn---
this isn't SPAM--
--Tanyetta
from California ---enjoy!

check out this video!

hilarious and the ending of the video is the icing on the cake for you. i'm sure you'll agree. you will high five this woman!!!!!

TOO FUNNY!!!!!

CLICK [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cqe0OrgGxqo]HERE[/url]

SHE HAS A [url=http://www.anitarenfroe.com/index.htm]WEBSITE[/url] TOO!

Manic Mom said...

OMG!!! Tell Clay Twindy is my next door neighbor!!!! Has he had a chance to meet her twin sisters Mindy (with green hair) and Cindy (an orange 'do)--they're nice too, but Twindy's my favorite so I can see how Clay wants to see her again!

Manic Mom said...

Oh, and I'm starting to notice a theme here with your youngest and her habit of painting her face with stuff---chocolate, blue dye, butt cream?!?!?!?!

ANd belated congrats on signing with your agent!!

Anonymous said...

Reading your blog truly brightens my day! After an insane day of fighting with my In-law's ( don't worry I won't bore you) your blog made me escape my awful day. thank you so much!

Paul*HolleeAnn*Jordan said...

soooooooooooooo FUNNY...sorry.

Anonymous said...

Lord, help me.... I remember doing some of this stuff. Now I've got one of my own [4-months]. I know I'm gonna get repaid for every bit of it.....

Anonymous said...

That pic of innocent brooklyn should definatly
replace
the choco pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@@@##$%*)+|+_)*
&#$%^&^&^@#HMF%^#@$%*H#$#&*&*$@@

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_oc1j5NakY
You have to watch this!

Anonymous said...

CONGRATULATIONS ON BECOMING ONE OF THE WORLDS SUPPER BLOGGERS DAWN ONE MILLION PLUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mum of six in France

lawnajo said...

Clay's Twindy story made me laugh so hard I cried. Will blue food coloring come out of Brooklyn's shirt?

Ceilisundancer said...

Ahhh, what great creative kids, and Twindy, too. It's usually my dog that gets into food coloring. It'll eventually wear off and/ or pass. Hope you got that shirt treated early.

DomesticGDS said...

Hello from the Indiana Booby Hatch!

My son who is 3 years old has announced that he has a husband who's name is Eric. Eric was an imaginary friend, who somehow got bumped up to spousal status this week. *sigh* This goes on the list of "Things We Do Not Talk About In Front Of Daddy".

Dad, has been out of town this week and comes home tonight. I am wondering if "Calgon! Take me away!" is a cruise that you book or if it's a spell to be repeated over and over again like "There's no place like home" or "Beetlejuice".

You MUST check out that Anita Renfroe website someone posted about earlier. She sings a song of Mommy phrases set to the William Tell Overature. The only thing that could make it funnier was if a chorus of small children singing "Mom, mom, mommy, mom" replaced the orchestra.

Well, I'm off because Christian has announced that Eric needs coffee and tylenol. Is it wrong to start counting down to bedtime at 4:30?

Anonymous said...

I can relate to the "Brother haircut". Well, just from what my mom told me. I was just about 2 years old and was finally getting hair, and my brother decided to give me a hair cut. He cut a piece right from the front, realized that didn't look good, so he hide the hair and the scissor under the dresser so mom won't know. Needless to say, my mom figured it out. =o) That lock of hair is in my baby book, as my first hair cut. (My first tooth is in there too, also thanks to my brother.) Aren't brothers great. lol

I love reading your blog. I don't have kids, but lived with my niece and nephew for 2 years when they were little, so I can relate to some of your stories.

Janet said...

I'm sorry for the loss of your son's crabbie (spoken by a crabbie owner myself). If you ever get a new one...I found the following link most helpful in learning about my pet.

http://www.hermitcrabassociation.com/

I thought for sure mine was dead at one point, and apparently he just buried himself to moult. He was missing for 8 weeks, and when he reappeared, he was larger with new pink legs.

Losing a pet is never easy.

mommy 2 payton said...

I wish I could spend a day in your shoes!!!

AlaneM said...

Ok the conversation about Twindy make me cry with laughter...priceless!!!

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