How Was School?

I picked Clay up from kindergarten yesterday like I always do. He hopped in the car and I asked him, "How was school, Monkey?"

He gave me his standard answer, "Good!"

Out the corner of my eye, I saw Clay's teacher approaching my car. "You had a good day? Then why is your teacher coming out to the car?"

Clay quickly said, "I dunno. Go! Drive! DRIVE! DRIVE!!!"

Oh yeah, that sounds completely innocent. Like I was going to floor it out of the kiss and drive before his teacher could reach my van. Clay flipped himself over the seat and into the back of my van as his teacher reached my car. "So, he didn't have such a good day, did he?"

"Notsomuch," she replied.

I guess he spent the afternoon running around like a cheetah chasing wildebeests a la National Geographic. Although I don't think he bit anyone's butt or ripped flesh from any classmates, so we've got that going for us.

Honestly, Clayton's been good at school and I haven't had any visits from his teacher in a long time, so I just talked to him and took his video games away for the day. I guess I should be happy that he seems to have gotten over his "If you bug me, I'm going to punch you" M.O. at least.

More Damage Control

There just aren't enough hours in the day. By the time I'm done with all my "damage control", I'm too tired to get any work done.

"Mama, I have clay stuck in my ear and hair."

"What??? How is Clay stuck in your ear???"

"No, not my brother, Clay. This kind of clay! See?"

Brooklyn turned so I could see a glob of clay pushed inside her ear. After scooping that out, I got to work on the chunk that was embedded in her hair. I think, by the time I was done, I'd pulled out enough hair to make a small wig.

Why did she shove a bunch of clay in her ear to begin with? Why not?

"Mom, will you paint my nails?"

"Didn't I just paint them yesterday, Brooklyn ?"

"But it's washing off. I want more on. Pleeeease?"

"Oh ok, but give me a minute. I need to finish folding this laundry."

A few minutes pass and I notice the unmistakable smell of nail polish in the air.

"Brooklyn! I told you I'd paint them in a minute! Grrrrrr!"

Isn't my carpet pretty? Just like Brooklyn's nails.

"Why on God's green earth is the kitchen floor covered in cereal?!!! Clayton!"

"I was throwing it up and trying to catch it in my mouth," came his innocent answer.

"Well that was a stupid idea not the best idea you've ever come up with. You just wasted a bunch of cereal. Now clean it up and DON'T DO IT AGAIN!"

"What the... Again with the nail polish? Really? REALLY???"

"Clayton, did you think my washing machine was a piece of paper?"

"No."

"Haven't I told you that you can only draw on paper?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you draw on the washing machine?"

"I dunno."

"Uh huh. Makes perfect sense to me. Guess what, Clay."

"What?"

"You're washing the ink off and then you're going to bed."

"Why?"

"I dunno."

IT'S HERE!!!

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for!

:::drumroll:::

Coming to a store near you November 2! Amazon is taking pre-orders now. Click HERE!

Sunday Sound Out (A Day Late)

From Chicago, where Cubs fan are made of 90% scar tissue, it's your host who's always a day late and a dollar short, Dawn Meehan. And now, answers to this week's questions.


I have just finished reading and *thoroughly* enjoyed your book, "Because I Said So"! As the mother of two, I have experienced almost everything in that book so I feel a sense of sisterhood with you, girl! Thank you for telling it like is really is and not sugar-coating...As a writer myself, I just started a blog called MOTHER TONGUE & Other Sharp Objects...I thought of you yesterday when a strange woman attacked me (I still haven't quite figured out her rant) and I thought, "I bet Dawn Meehan gets this sort of garbage frequently enough to wonder what the heck is wrong with some people with whom we share this world. It's humor, people!"I would love to hear what your M.O. is with strange people, especially moms, who feel the need to act like this...
Thank you for your kind words and best of luck to you in getting your ms sold! As far as the people who sling mud my way - well, I used to cry when I got negative comments. Seriously, I'd well up and sit, staring bleary-eyed at my computer screen, wondering why people couldn't just be nice. I don't do that anymore. Now I just send them a jar of vile-tasting delicious Vegemite to thank them for their contribution to my blog.

So, I want to see a picture of your not so curly do that you got compliments on! I have curly hair and I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love it straight, but HATE the time and effort it takes to achieve that look.
I hate it frizzy curly, but alas, I just don't find time to straighten it most days.



Why is it call an L?
It's short for "elevated subway". I believe about half the tracks are elevated above ground. The other half is either at ground level like a train or below ground like a subway.

Someone has to ask, so it may as well be me: What kind of cups are you buying that you don't drink out of? The only thing I can think of are Diva or Luna cups...LOL if this is what you mean then the closet greenie in me rejoices ;).
Uhhh, yeah. Clearly, you don't have boys in sports. And because I'm insane I have to research anything I'm not familiar with, I looked up "diva cups". I've gotta say I'm a little grossed out. I'm all for going green, but I draw the line at reusable toilet paper and diva cups.

I dreamt I rented a banana costume once for Halloween. What does that mean?
That's crazy. They must have been all out of the monkey costumes.

What on EARTH did you eat before you went to bed?
Just the usual - a handful of Tums

What is The Neverending Song? Wait, do I really wanna know?
It's too late. You asked. Here ya go...



I can send a card from Hawaii! Where do I send it? Did you post an address?
Oooo! Better yet, how about I come pick it up? I'd be willing to do that, you know. For Savannah, of course. I'd go to Hawaii just for Savannah. But if you insist on putting it in the mail, you can send it here.

Savannah Meehan
836 S. Arlington Heights Rd.
#230
Elk Grove Village, IL 60007

What is the picture showing exactly? And yeay for absorbable screws and pins! Glad everything went well..
I have no idea. The doctor gave us sixteen pictures. I can't remember what they each showed.

Is that really a pic of her knee?? It looks so much like those 4D ultrasound of a baby... with eyes, nose a mouth..
LOL As far as I know, it's her knee. I guess they could've been going around taking close-up pictures of random items in the O.R.

LOVE IT! That reminded me of when Joseph fractured his growth plate in his heel and was wearing an air cast (boot) and the dr released him to play but the baseball association required we put some kind of padding around it to prevent other injuries so we wrapped it with bubble wrap. LMBO Us Blankenships are not known for our speed but Joseph hit a double that game AND STOLE A BASE! Guess the pitcher figured he'd never even try to steal with that boot on. LOL
Amy, tell me you have a picture of your bubble-wrapped son!

Anyone in the Chicagoland area, the Lands' End store at Sears in Oak Brook is hosting an event on Saturday, May 1st.

Get Growing for Spring with Award-winning Author Sharon Lovejoyat the Lands’ End Shop at Sears in Oakbrook Center

Register your school to win up to $2,500 for gardening or science programs in the “Way to Grow” sweepstakes.

WHAT: Meet author Sharon Lovejoy and discover the imaginative activities for entertaining and inspiring kids about the wonders of nature from her latest book, “Toad Cottages and Shooting Stars” (2009, Workman). Lands’ End is hosting the event as part of “Way to Grow: Plant a Seed, Make a Difference” – the company’s nationwide initiative to connect kids, parents and schools through gardening.

Fun activities for the family include:

* Decorate pots and plant 100-percent organic Russian Mammoth Sunflower seeds to take home.

* Learn about the wonder of worms through hands-on exploration.

* Register to win essential gardening supplies.

WHEN/WHERE:

Saturday, May 1

11 a.m. until 3 p.m.

Lands’ End Shop at Sears in Oakbrook Center

2 Oakbrook Ctr

Oak Brook, IL

Clay's Life of Crime

I'm blogging at ChicagoMomsBlog today. Check it out HERE. You can read all about Clay's life of crime. Oh yeah, and leave me a comment there so I'm not the only dork writer there without any comments. Yes, yes, I am begging.

I've still got some giveaways up on my review blog HERE.

* $200 Visa gift card from Arm & Hammer and BlogHer

* Pong cell phone case

* Gift pack of goodies for Earth Day from Disney

* Jawbone ICON bluetooth headset

* V8 V-Fusion "Picnic at the Beach gift set

Moms for Mouthguards

A few days after Savannah got her braces on, she was hit in the mouth by a line drive while pitching for softball. You can only imagine how badly her mouth was cut up. Let me tell ya, mouth injuries bleed like crazy! Since then, mouthguards are a standard part of my kids' sports uniforms. I mean, as moms, we want to do whatever it takes to protect our kids, right? The American Association of Orthodontists has come up with a pretty funny video about it!



The American Association of Orthodontists is asking parents to take the Moms For Mouth Guards pledge. For every pledge taken, they’re donating to the National Alliance for Youth Sports to help protect the smiles of kids across the country.

So get a mouth guard to protect your children's teeth and mouths against sports related injuries. And take a moment to take the pledge!

Savannah's Surgery

Savannah had her knee surgery yesterday. I think her knee was a little worse than what the doctor was expecting based on the MRI. The doctor had indicated that he'd be drilling holes up into her femur so it would bleed down into the piece of bone that was peeling away. He was hoping that's all he'd have to do, but he warned me that once he got in there, if it looked like the piece was already separating significantly, he'd probably put a couple pins in to hold the fragment in place while it healed.

When the surgery was over, he came out to talk to me. He told me that he put a screw in her bone as well as three "darts", and he drilled several small holes into her femur so it could bleed down into the piece that was peeling away. Then he told me that her guardian angel was looking out for her. You see, when I first brought Savannah to his office, she presented with just a little tendonitis pain. The doctor told me that if he'd seen Savannah first, he would have asked her questions about her pain and examined her leg and sent her home with the diagnosis of "tendonitis". However, the nurse came into the room first and ordered an xray. Although, based on the exam, Savannah seemed to only have tendonitis, the xray caught the OCD from which she wasn't experiencing any pain yet.

I love stories like this. If the nurse hadn't come in first, Savannah wouldn't have had the xray. Had she not had the xray, they wouldn't have found the OCD. Had they not found it when they did, it likely would've progressed too far to be fixed and she would've suffered problems from it for the rest of her life. And had Savannah not experienced the tendonitis, we wouldn't have sought medical help in the first place. Like the first sentence in my book, Because I Said So, "I believe things happen for a reason." Sure, you don't always know why at the time, but so often you can look back and things make sense. You have that "Ahhhh" moment and suddenly things are clear and you understand why something happened the way it did. That's why you shouldn't worry and stress over things. Like I tell my kids all the time, "Patience, young Jedi". Things will work out the way they should. Just keep the faith. :)

So, she's in pain and her leg is swollen right now. She'll be on crutches for at least two weeks at which point we'll go back to the doctor. And check this out - the screw and pins that were used in her knee are absorbable! They'll disintegrate and be absorbed by her body over the next two years. Amazing! Three tiny incisions for the arthroscopy and absorbable pins! The advances made over a fairly short amount of time astound me.

And thank you so much to all of you who took the time and effort to send Savannah a card! She loved reading every one and seeing where they were from! (One was all the way from Australia!) And she smiled and laughed at the "signatures" written by little ones. She's been making friendship bracelets all day with the kit she was sent. The "bug" was a big hit with Clay and Brooklyn. (She's gotta get that back before they lose it!) And I'm surprised she hasn't sent me out to use the Starbucks card for her yet. You guys really put a smile on her face! She asked me to thank everyone for her! THANK YOU!

I promised her I wouldn't put the picture I snapped of her being wheeled into surgery with a lovely blue scrubs hat on my blog. But I said nothing about using a picture of her knee...

Where Am I Blogging?

I'm blogging at Chicago Moms Blog today. You can read it HERE.

And stop by my review blog and enter to win:

* A $200 Visa gift card from Arm & Hammer with Oxi-Clean and BlogHer

* A "Minimize Morning Madness" gift basket from Scrubbing Bubbles Extend-A-Clean

* A gift pack of Earth Day goodies from Disney

* One of two $25 gift cards from Safety Tats

* A Pong cell phone case designed to redirect radiation away from the user

The Inner Workings of My Mind

I was walking outside with someone. I'm not sure who it was, but I know she was a friend. We were walking along on a grassy hill. The sky was overcast, but it was breezy and warm outside. I picked up some cardboard, an empty 7-Up case and an empty Dr. Pepper case that were lying on the ground. A man came walking by pushing a grocery cart with those exact same things (some cardboard, an empty, smashed 7-Up case and an empty Dr. Pepper case) in it. I thought that was strange. As my unknown friend and I walked along this grassy hill, we noticed there were all these really deep holes in it. There were perfectly round holes every foot or two and each one was several feet deep. I warned her to watch out, but her foot got caught down in one of these holes in the ground.

Then we had to run to catch a boat that was leaving for New York. I had some drinks and I took my shoes off on the boat. I arrived at the hotel in New York and people got off the boat and went to check in. I didn't check in though. I wanted to, but just didn't/couldn't for some reason. I'm not sure why because I really wanted to go up to my room. I was holding a ton of bags that I was having a hard time juggling. Instead of checking in, I sat down to rest for a while and realized that I couldn't find my shoes. I saw a couple friends from high school there. These were friends I hardly even knew in high school, but there they were, acting like we were the best of friends. There were a whole bunch of very nerdy kids. They were band geeks and had all sorts of instruments with them. I mean, really super-geeky people that I don't know in real life.

I finally found my shoes. A lady had them with her wig and she was totally bleaching them out. My shoes and her wig sat in some sort of unit on the floor. Apparently it was a wig and shoe bleaching machine. They were my giraffe print clogs, but when I got them back, you could barely see the print because they were so bleached out.

I finally went to check in with my tons of bag. They were actually the exact same bags I was trying to carry at the blogger event last week.

Next thing I know, I'm in Paris at this indoor mall that was made to look like it was outdoors. There was a gelato shop with tables and chairs all around it "outside" (really inside a mall) with potted trees and stuff. Brooklyn was with me and she tried some. Austin was there and he tried some too. I couldn't decided which kind to try. They showed me several burlap bags (bags???) of gelato with different flavors. I finally decided to try the citrus nut one. (Blech! Where do I come up with this stuff?)

This is when I realized that I was in Paris and I had never arranged for anyone to take care of my kids at home. I had just left them all. (Yeah, yeah, I know Austin and Brooklyn were eating gelato with me a minute ago and now they're at home. I never claimed my dreams made sense!) I really freaked out. No one would be there when they got home from school! Could I call and get someone to go to my house before the kids got home from school, I wondered. And then it hit me that Brooklyn was home all alone right now because she's not in school! No one was going to take care of them and I was in Europe! How on earth did I forget to call someone to care for them before leaving?!!!! I freaked out in my dream! I couldn't believe I'd forgotten! How do you plan a trip to France and forget to arrange childcare for six kids?! I ran around telling people what I'd done. I didn't know what to do to fix it. I kept asking people to help me. I tried texting my friend several times, but they never answered. I thought maybe my cell phone didn't work in other countries and decided I'd have to look into that in the future. I remembered that Savannah and Austin were taken care of, but I'd totally forgotten to arrange care for the other kids. And then I woke up.

All I can say is - if you analyze dreams, please don't tell me how psychotic this makes me.

Breaking Out of the Comfort Zone

I'm forty. I'm divorced (well, almost). And lately, I've been forced to step out of my comfort zone and try new things, like taking out the garbage, unclogging toilets, and shopping for cups (and I don't mean the kind you drink out of.)

So, I needed to go downtown the other day. When I go downtown, I usually take the train. Metra, that is. I know how it works. I know where to park, where to pay for parking, where to get my tickets, how much parking and tickets cost, where to get off once I'm downtown (there's only one stop so it's not brain surgery), and if I have to go farther than a few blocks from the station once downtown, I know I can walk out of the train station and find a line of cabs all waiting for passengers. Easy peasy.

But this time, my friend suggested I take the L because it stops exactly where I needed to go. "But I've never taken the L!" I said in a panic. Just thinking about the logistics put me in a cold sweat. Where do I catch it? Where do I park? How much is parking? How do I get a ticket for the L? Or do they use tokens? There are a million stops downtown, how do I know where I'm supposed to get off? Blue line, brown line, pink line, how do I know which line to take? What if I get mugged and someone steals my camera? Then I won't have any proof that I actually took the L and if I can't blog about it, then why bother? Thankfully, my friends are used to my insanity, so they just roll their eyes and tell me to get a grip.

So I decided to step out of the box and give it a try. I'm in a new phase of my life; it's fitting I try new things, right? I mean, you'll never get ahead, or learn anything new, or experience anything exhilarating if you do the same ole, same ole and stick to the comfortable and mundane, right? Oh, don't worry, I'm not about to do anything too crazy like going skydiving, getting a sex change, or eating Vegemite. But I've lived in Chicago my entire life, and after forty years, I think I can handle taking the L.

In case there are any readers living in the farthest edge of the city who haven't ever taken the L, I'm here to give you a tutorial.

You need to get a ticket here. Cool thing is - you put your money in a vending machine and get a ticket for that amount. Then, every time you use it, money is subtracted. You can recharge the same card. I'm like a total authority on the CTA now! Aren't you impressed? (By the way, the attendant thought I was nuts for taking a picture of this. He asked me, "Is it really that interesting?" I was afraid he'd think I was even more insane if I told him I was going to blog about it.)


You have to put your ticket in the slot and walk through the turnstile. No one minds if you put your ticket in backwards and try shoving it a few times until it's a crumpled mess. People won't laugh at you if you need help figuring out how to turn the ticket around. And no one will comment at all if you're a dork and can't walk through the turnstile without the bar hitting you in the butt. Not that I know any of these things firsthand...


This is a helpful sign. You don't want to jump from the platform and walk on the tracks. If you're not hit by a train first, you could be electrocuted. It's a good thing they have a fence to keep you from falling onto the tracks...


There's no fence? No wall? No barrier of any sort? (commence hyperventilating and backing slowly away from tracks) Thank God I don't have my kids with me! I just know one of them would end up flying off the platform!


The train is here!


I didn't pull my camera out on the train for fear of being shot. Maybe next time I'll get brave and take pictures of the other riders. I did get a picture of a pigeon, however. He wasn't on the train. I found him when I got off. That's gotta count for something though.


Daley Center


Time to go back home. Down to the L...

Next time, I'm going to get pictures and video of the performers on the platform even if I have to wait for eight hours to catch someone with a guitar.


The best part of my little adventure was that I did not, in fact, get mugged so I have photographic evidence of my trip. Join me next week when I step out of the box and sing karaoke in front of strangers while totally sober. Kidding, just kidding. Put the ear plugs down.

************************************
Check out my reviews for
* a $200 Visa gift card from BlogHer and Arm & Hammer with Oxi Clean
* a $100 Visa gift card from BlogHer and Pop-Tarts
* a "Minimize Morning Madness" gift basket from Scrubbing Bubbles Extend-A-Clean
* one of two $25 gift cards for Safety Tats
* a Pong cell phone case that redirects radiation away from the user

You can find all the contests HERE on my review blog!

Giveaways!

Check out my review blog for some great giveaways!

Two $25 gift cards from Safety Tats!

A $100 Visa gift card from BlogHer and Pop-Tarts!

A $200 Visa gift card from BlogHer and Arm & Hammer with Oxi Clean!

A "Minimize Morning Madness" gift basket from Scrubbing Bubbles Extend-A-Clean!

Click HERE to get to my review blog and you can scroll down to enter all of these giveaways!

Sunday Sound Out

From Chicago, the city with two seasons: frozen tundra, and construction, it's your host, the woman who single-handedly smooshed a spider before it could eat off her face the other night, Dawn Meehan! And now, answers to your questions...

I'm wondering if, or what blogs do you read on a regular or semi regular basis? Do you even have the time?? :)
I seldom find the time to read other blogs as much as I'd like to. Between my own blog, review blog, writing articles, working on books, cleaning house, cooking, shopping, helping with homework, driving to hockey, baseball, and gymnastics, taking care of six kids 24/7, doctor's appointments, teacher conferences, paying bills, laundry, well, you get the idea. After all that stuff, I have like 4 hours left and I usually like to sleep now and then.

Are you not drying and straightening your hair now since so many people complimented you on it?
LOL! At a Chicago Moms blogger event last week, I was running late (shocking, I know) and I didn't have time to straighten my hair. OK, truth by told, I wasn't totally running late. I got downtown at a reasonable time. But then I wandered around block after block, walking in circles because I wasn't quite sure how to get to the Hard Rock Hotel despite directions from friends. I blame it on my phone which was telling me mixed up ways to go. If you've read this blog for any length of time, this shouldn't surprise you in the least.
Anyhoo.....
See, I actually have curly hair, but I use tons of Suave Sleek Styling Cream, and straighten it so I don't look like a crazy old witch with a squirrel's nest for hair. Actually, curly isn't quite right. It's not exactly curly. Nor is it straight. It's more "Roseanne Roseannadanna-ish" For some odd reason, a lot of people complimented me on it. Come to think of it, there was wine at this event. That's explains it. Anyway, to answer your question, Michelle, I'm not purposely keeping it curly because it looks stupid like that. However, these days, oftentimes I simply don't have time to straighten it. Those are the days I don a Cubs hat.

Question for you: what do you use to clean crayon "art" off the windows?? Our current art has been up for months and I'm hoping the artist will update his work if we clean the window.
We're supposed to clean it off?! I figure if I let the kids cover the windows with art, I won't have to look out and see the giant messes they've made in the yard. It's all good.

I'm sure this is very immature of me, but I want to see the farting train. lol
Ok, because of the popular demand, I'll scan a picture of his flatulant train when he gets it back from his teacher.

Loving the creativew solution [on my awesome shower-fixing abilities]. But why does the phrase "Tim the Toolman Taylor" spring to mind?
I know right! I may or may not have grunted a few times after my fun with duct tape.

Did I miss something? What the heck happened to your shower door? Or should I even ask?
Well, Savannah knocked Austin into it a while back. It broke off (and Savannah got a black eye from that encounter). Austin was able to get it back on, but I think that loosened things up because the kids managed to knock it off again a couple weeks later and this time the little thingys that go into the little places, broke off. That's the technical explanation. In plain terms: it broke.

The following picture may shock you. Some viewers may find it disturbing and disconcerting. It's not the usual kind of picture you find here at BecauseISaidSo.com. You're used to seeing pictures of messes and chaos created by my children. This is not that kind of picture. I found this when I sat down at my desk to work the other day. Brace yourselves and scroll down, if you dare.

*

*

*

*

*


And this, my friends, is why we moms never quit.