Austin is SO My Son!

Austin texted our family group chat a couple days ago and told us about his day. As I read the account of his morning, I kept thinking - this sounds so familiar. Why does this sound familiar? Oh yeah! Because it sounds exactly like something that would've happened to me, and it sounds just like I would have described it. He is SO my son. I asked him if I could share it here. 

Austin works in the bakery at Publix. He starts work before the sun is up. I would never be able to function on his schedule at all. I'd have stuff like this happen to me daily if I was required to start work at 4:00am!
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So to start my day I went over to the deli department to turn on the fryers so I could use them later. Strangely, they were all unplugged. As I’m squatting down and trying to maneuver around, my pants get a huge rip in the back of my inner thigh. I thought maybe I could use duct tape to fix it. We don’t carry any duct tape. So I grab some heavy duty packing tape. I head to the restroom to try to fix my pants. I set my pants on the counter portion of the sink in the handicap stall. It triggers the sensor and water pours on the crotch area of my pants. Then I find out that the tape doesn’t actually stick to fabric. I then had to just wrap it around in a sweaty tape mess.

What do you think? He could totally ghost write for me, right?