Art 101

I'm presenting you with a short tutorial on art through the years.

STAGE ONE: The Body Art Phase
This involves using anything (i.e. yogurt, marker, diaper cream) as your medium and your body as the canvas.










STAGE TWO: The Spaghetti Phase
This involves random scribbling and can take place on paper or walls or furniture.

STAGE THREE: The Potato People Phase
The child draws people that basically look like potatoes with arms and legs coming out of the body. Eyes and a mouth are added at this time.

STAGE FOUR: The Stick Figure Phase
Now people have distinctly separate heads and bodies. Hair (sometimes really, really long hair), noses, fingers, and shoes are added. Girls may add, rainbows, stars, and hearts to their drawings at this time. Boys may add cartoon characters, blood and guts, or cars to their drawings at this time.


STAGE FIVE: The Macaroni Phase
This is where macaroni, sometimes colored, sometimes plain, is glued to various pieces of construction paper. If you're extra lucky, you'll get a necklace made of macaroni for Mother's Day. If you're not so lucky, yours will be the kid who likes to eat the glued macaroni off the page.


STAGE SIX: The Book Phase
At this stage, your child is excited that they're learning to read and write and they must make everything into a book. This is the second page in the famous book, The Friendly Ghost written by my son. This is where you have to really stretch your literacy skills and learn to read "kindergartenese". This says, " The ghost plays with his friends like the mummy."


STAGE SEVEN: The Picasso Stage
The pictures and color choices don't make a lot of sense, but they sure are fun to look at.


STAGE EIGHT: The Almost Realistic Portrait Phase
Here, the child starts getting some realistic elements into their drawings. This is a picture my daughter drew of me after I had collagen lip augmentation.


Here's something from the Pokemon Phase my son went through.


Here's something from the Star Wars Phase my son went through. Again, note the realism.


STAGE NINE: The Three Dimensional Phase
Here is a candle holder made for me by my daughter.


Here is vessel made by my son. It's perfect for holding cookies, pencils, or organs from mummified people.


There you have it. Art from one to twelve.