Yesterday, my family spent a Christmas day that was very different. In this case, different is good. Sure, we were alone and didn’t have any family or friends with which to share the day. We didn’t go to anyone’s house and enjoy a nice meal with them. We didn’t have anyone over to our house to share our blessings with them. But, especially when I look back at last year, I’m so very thankful for our calm, quiet Christmas day.Last year, we didn’t spend time with family either, but it wasn’t because we were living across the country from them; it was because we weren’t invited. Differences weren’t put aside for the holidays and my kids paid the price. Last year, Austin had been in the hospital for most of December and Jackson was still in the hospital.
I remember visiting him Christmas eve. I remember all too well his sadness at being stuck in the psychiatric hospital when all he wanted was to be home with everyone else, going to church, and getting ready for Christmas day. Because of the very strict safety regulations, I couldn’t even bring Jackson a present or cookies or anything. I remember how heartbroken I was and how hard it was to leave him all alone there and make myself walk out the door when visiting hours ended. I remember driving home that night, crying my heart out at how unfair everything was. I remember waking up Christmas morning and only having five of my kids get up to see what Santa had brought. And I remember how difficult it was to even do any holiday shopping what with my very limited funds, mounting medical bills, and several hours a day spent driving back and forth from the hospital multiple times for my boys. It sucked. It really, really sucked. It was about the lowest point I’ve ever experienced. My kids were hurting and I was entirely by myself, trying to hold it all together.
But this year, I had all six of my kids with me and, other than moments of homesickness which strike from time to time, they’re all healthy and doing well. Money may be tight, but God is providing and every time an unexpected bill comes along, a writing job that brings in the exact amount I need comes about. Yeah, we didn’t have family to spend the day with, but we were able to stay in our pajamas and hang out at home all day. We didn’t have to leave by any certain time and we didn’t have to eat on anyone else’s schedule. Instead, we were able to Skype with my family back home which was like being there without being there. We opened gifts from each other while on Skype so we could share the fun and the laughs. And, of course, it was 80-some degrees outside! Who could possibly feel sad when it’s so sunshiny and warm?
And to the mystery person who dropped off that huge stack of presents for us, thank you. I really can’t adequately express my gratitude for your generosity and thoughtfulness. The gifts you picked out suited each of us so well and the kids had such a great time opening all of them! I have pictures of the kids opening the packages on Facebook. It’s killing me not knowing who did this. I want to thank you and repay you so badly. But I do know and understand the power of giving and the awesome way it makes you feel. And in that way, I intend to repay my mystery santa by paying it forward. In the coming year, I feel a need to pay it forward on a very regular basis. In fact, I’ll be presenting you with a weekly challenge to pay it forward with me. I’ll give you suggestions and ideas and encourage you to join me so you too can experience the amazing feeling of giving to others for no particular reason.
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