For a brief time I was hanging out, looking through the profiles of guys on Match.com. I stopped doing that pretty quickly because I’m convinced everyone on there is either a serial killer, has some serious psychological defect, lives with his parents, has never been married for good reason, and/or is a depraved lunatic. I feel like I should be a character on Seinfeld. Not that I’m so funny or entertaining, but because like the characters on Seinfeld, I’m discovering I’m picky about possible matches. And by “picky”, I mean, I can find something wrong with pretty much everyone. Seinfeld had high talkers, low talkers, close talkers, man hands, double-dippers, mimbos, regifters, anti-dentites, toe thumbs, and none were sponge-worthy.
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