Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I May Need a 12 Step Program

Hi. My name is Dawn. I'm addicted to Target. It's been four hours since my last shopping trip. I went to Target for folders, and laundry detergent. But it didn't end there. Oh no. I just couldn't get enough. Pushing my cart down the school supply and cleaning aisles didn't satisfy me. I was a woman out of control. I pushed my cart up and down the beauty aisles. I put a box of hair color in my cart. I justified the purchase, even though it wasn't on my list, with the certainty that I'd seen a stray gray hair in the mirror this morning.

But did I say "enough" and leave at that point? Oh no. I continued on to the food section. I put donuts (for the kids), cookies (for the kids), waffles (for the kids), and wine (for me!) in my cart. But I still wasn't satisfied. I continued to push my cart up and down aisles, perusing everything the store had to offer.


I overheard another customer asked their companion, "Where is the dog food in this store?" Without a second thought, I piped up, "Walk down five aisles and turn left. It's right there." Yes, my problem is really that bad. I admit it; I know where the dog food is despite the fact that I don't have a dog. I'm ashamed to admit that I know where everything is in the store.

I grabbed a package of batteries, some cranberry juice, a cute shirt for Brooklyn, socks for Austin, diaper wipes, mascara, paper towels, dish soap, and a new window shade to replace the one that the boys managed to shred even though they amazingly never touched it. I spent an hour looking at purses and shoes and nightgowns. I was out of control, grabbing things from shelves, throwing them in my cart, and going back for more.

I think I hit rock bottom when I stopped at the greeting cards and spent a good twenty minutes reading cards and laughing to myself. I was hopped up on shopping (without kids, no less) and was acting completely giddy.

Target, you lure me in with your inexpensive Up&Up brand. I head to the store when I need toilet paper and laundry detergent and garbage bags. But I never leave with only the items on my list. No, the pull of your brightly lit aisles full of stuff I absolutely need, brings me to my knees every time. I am powerless when it comes to you, oh store with the red bull's eye.

Oh well, the first step is admitting you have a problem. I'll get to the other steps later; I just remembered I need to go back tomorrow to get a new furnace filter and some lip gloss.


Week Four - another chance to win a $100 Visa gift card from Kellog's and BlogHer HERE!

You can help feed my Target addiction by pre-ordering my new book, You'll Lose the Baby Weight (and other lies about pregnancy and childbirth) HERE!

46 comments:

JoAnna said...

If you find a 12 Step Program then sign me up too - please! Also addicted to Target. They must have the brightest marketing department EVER.

Bec said...

This is seriously me, too!!! I go to Target at least twice a week. I go int he store with two items on my list, that should cost less than $30 total, and I leave the store with $80-$120 worth of things I NEED... and I still manage to somehow forget the two items I went there to get int he first place! Target is my frienemy.

jennyandcompany said...

while you are there, pick up some colgate dora toothpaste - using a target coupon and one from last weekends newspaper insert, it's only like 69 cents!

Sandy said...

This blog sounds so much like my Mom. There should be a Target junky club. :)

Christina said...

My little town just got a walmart! No target up here boooo
But yup that was my day today, I justified it by A) Having a 10% discount and B) it is on reserve so no taxes!
So while your a target tomorrow I need blank paper and graph paper for back to school please!

Meredith said...

I just did that today. I went in to get two bags of candy. Only two bags of candy. Ended up coming out with an iTunes card, 4 sets of new earrings, and the two bags of candy. I probably would have bought more if I had gone any further into the store, but I had to get home soon, so that is all I left with. I am shocked at how powerless I am in Target; but I love it at the same time!

ShellyBlake said...

I'm actually more of a WalMart addict, but I did venture into Target this past weekend. Yes, I bought myself a new purse...and no, it wasn't one of the ones on clearance (those are the hook that got me in the aisle)...but I really did need one, yes I did! But I did manage to escape without anything else..well, a bunch of cat food later I did...but that was the reason I went in there in the first place! But really Dawn, it's not SO much of the store that's made you an addict, it was because you were there without kids...it's dangerous to go shopping without them. It's like locking the bathroom door...you never want to come out because it's the only peace you have for a (short) while.

Mark said...

I love TARGET too..especially their Store Variety toilet paper(the one with flecks of tree bark for that extra scrubbed feeling..
BUT dear Dawn: Are you (maybe) feeding those kiddies a tad too much SUGAR? I looked at your shopping list and gagged (of course..truth be told, I also buy
way too much sugary treats..In fact..howzabout another of your famous CONTESTS..maybe POST Cereals will finance it for you...and also send over a CASE LOT of some of their own fine sugar loaded cereals! Well..just an idea!

Hang in there kiddo. YOU are doing spectacularly.

P.S. I hope the nightie you selected was a shapeless FLANNEL...

Big HUGS from Mark in MASS

PamGram said...

AWWW Target junkies unite and meet in the garden area.It's the $ bins that get me.I can spend $142.00 and I'm only 10feet in the door.And of course only went for a loaf of bread,lol.

Nicole MacDonald said...

Ooooo I want to go to Target but we only have one in Auckland so far... and I'm not that desperate..yet ;p

http://damselinadirtydress.blogspot.com

belindasbaubles said...

Your target has wine!? I've been jipped.

We need a place in Australia where you can buy makeup and booze in the one place without having to return the trolley or get a second receipt.

Yay for shopping with no kids!! It's so exciting. Especially when you hear the little monkey screaming 3 aisles down. Makes ya breathe a sigh of relief.

WeaselMomma said...

I'm sure that Target must be pumping misted happy drugs through their ventilation system.
What you are experiencing is such a common phenomenon. It's like eating Turkish Delight for us estrogen types.

nearlynotquite.com said...

ohmigod, If Target in Australia sold Wine? I'd never leave!

Someone's Nanny said...

Oh god, I have the same problem. For me it's the dollar bins that get me every time. I can drop $20.00 in the dollar aisle alone. Then I move on to the cleaning supplies, the food, the toys, the clothes, the jewelry, the books! And how about the snack bar? I always get sucked in by the buttery popcorn. I smell it as I walk by and just can't resist.

Sharon said...

I've figured out why we all seem to do this. I think along with the music designed to make us spend more than we wanted they pump some kind of scent in with the music that hypnotizes us and makes us have no control. It doesn't matter which store, I've done this in all of them,at one time or another.

Havalina said...

You can buy wine at Target? They make you give blood and go through background checks in PA.

Kirsten said...

Target is totally my biggest weakness. I have been known to go to target up to 5 times per week. I live about 6 blocks away from my closest target, sometimes we walk to that target, which is good because we can't buy that much otherwise we'd have to carry it! I have to drive by Target every single day on my way home from work ... I can literally not go in there and walk out spending less than $40 no matter if I just go in to get milk or some other little thing ... I LOVE Target! I feel your pain.

Gina said...

Oh if you think it's bad now just wait!!! My husband runs a Target store and coming in October when you use your Red Card you get 5% off your purchase EVERYTIME you shop!! And that's not all...a thing called P-Fresh is coming too. Some stores already have it. Imagine Target quality/prices on fresh fruits, veggies and meat...I can't wait!!!

♥ recipe addict said...

have you seen where you can now have target text you sales and specials instead of getting the ads? I wish we had a target close enough to go to. I know our wal-mart as well as you know your target, but that is because it is the only store in our town!

Lisa said...

I have the same issue, but lower class, I'm that way at Walmart. But my sponsor (my husband) and I agree it was time for me to abstain. lol But honestly, I was just thinking this morning how I haven't gone for a late night marathon shopping spree in a while. Retail therapy is definitely not the cheapest addiction.

Amanda said...

I can't even begin to tell you how wrong it is that your Target sells wine and mine doesn't. I mean, really? How cool would it be to pick up toothpaste, underwear, useless stuff from the $ bins, AND wine all in the same place??? I'm jealous. :P

Girl Engineer said...

I totally had the Budweiser radio commercial music playing in my head as I read your 12-Step Target Share!

tommygirl said...

I too have a problem. I could get lost in there for hours. Maybe we should start a TA (Target Anonymous) and have weekly chats online to help us with our addiction.

Keren said...

I feel so comforted (and validated!) to see that so many of us share the same weakness when it comes to Target. Target is my regular weekend outing with the kids - if somehow I manage to go without kids - look out! Unfortunately, this past weekend I was completely out of sorts because they are renovating our Target (eventually to include the fresh produce section Gina mentioned), and nothing was where it was supposed to be! (Except the lovely dollar stop which they will always put right by the front door as part of their evil plot). I didn't know where anything was. It was like if one of your kids got major plastic surgery and all of a sudden you didn't recognize them anymore. Yes, I did just compare Target to a member of the family. Don't judge me.

Que said...

Target (or really ANY store) is the evil stepsister and I'm Cinderella.

That analogy really sounded better in my mind.

Losing Brownies said...

I'm the same way. I can walk in with one item in mind and leave with over 200 dollars spent. Targete is worse than Costco.

Tracy Johnson said...

I love your blog and have read your books! They make me feel a lot better when I am sick and My daughter ends up watching tv for 6 hours straight...I thought I was the only one! You are much needed in a lot of peoples lives I am sure.
Tracy Johnson
monkeyseemonkeydo26@blogspot.com

The Vrabecs said...

We call Target the $100 store because we never get out of there for under $100, even if we only go in for 1 or 2 small things! I don't know what it is about that store!! I usually manage to forget the one thing I went for too so I have to go back the next day and spend $100 so I can get the thing I originally needed!!!

KMC said...

Here's a cure for you...move to Canada..where sadly there is NO TARGET!! Otherwise can't help you as every time I visit the US...I'm in there several times and also share your penchant for buying everything in sight!

Beth in MI said...

That 12 step program you mentioned for Target addicts? Let me know when you go, I'll be sitting right beside you. I went in there this morning with the best of intentions to get the five things on my list, and only those five things. Yeah, well....things happened. A whole cart full of things.

Tina said...

LOVE me some Target too! We don't have one in our town though, so it is a special treat! Even my boys (3 and 5) love it. As soon as they hear we are going out of town they get all excited for Target and will even forego some purchases at that other blue store..and wait to get it at Target because somehow it will be better. :o) ♥

guatelicia said...

I completely identify with your problem, so I'll have to join you on the 12 step program!

I also used to know where everything was at Target, until a few weeks ago, when they decided to re-organize the store... What is their problem?! Probably some way to make sure that by having to look for stuff we walk all over the store!

KodiakBear288 said...

Target is like my drug! I went there the other day for TWO THINGS and left WITHOUT those two things but still had $80 worth of crap.

Donna said...

I live in a very small town and we don't have Target here.
But we do have a 'Dollar General' and I go in for a few things and end up doing what you do!

AndiWrite said...

I do not want the 12-step program. I rarely go out with my friends, I don't smoke, and I only occasionally have a glass of wine or a drink. So I'm hanging on to my Target addiction. :)

Delbos said...

Dawn, I thought Brooklyn is off diaper, and I dont think any of your kids are still using it, why do you need diaper cream?

Corrina

The Minears said...

I worked at Target in college (Hello, feeding my addiction with a 10% discount!) and the manager said I was the only new hire in quite a while that they didn't have to show around the store and show where things were. I'm in Japan right now and whenever I go back to the States for a visit, Target is one of my first stops. I'm sooooo glad that they ship most of their items to APO addresses!!

JennyF said...

Thank good the state of Minnesota doesn't allow alcohol sales outside of liquor stores, because if the Targets around here also carried wine, I would never shop anywhere else for anything!

Beverly said...

Hi, my name is Beverly and I am a Target-holic.

pmerry said...

I, too, am a Target (pronounced Tar-jhey to make it sound fancier)
addict. I went in yesterday to get a refund on some toothpaste I got overcharged on. I got $1.50 back. I spent $90 on a toy, a pair of leggings and groceries, after my 5% discount for using my Target check card. :) Hmmm...I'm not sure that 5% is REALLY saving me when I branch out into departments all over the store. But I LOVE Target!!!

Marie {Make and Takes} said...

Soooo funny. Oh, at Target, you just can't get what's on your list! It never happens.

geelizzie said...

I absolutely LOVE Target. We have a Walmart and a Target within walking distance of our house and Walmart is always noisy, dirty, long lines, etc., whereas our Target is so quiet you think you're in a library and you find yourself talking in hushed tones. It's huge and clean and brightly lit and a pleasure to shop in. The prices are about the same as at Walmart, so Target is usually my choice for toilet paper runs. Runs. ha ha.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I love Target! It's always so CLEAN :) And Target with no kids? HEAVEN!

belindasbaubles said...

oo nearlynotquite.com... I just remembered we do have wine at Target in Australia... but it usually doesn't come in bottles, it sounds a little like this "I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant it! But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy can't I haaaaaaaaaaaaave it?"

And that's just the people who need the 12 step program. lol Kidding!

Sue D. said...

Gina, I do not shop at Target because they do not support our military, could you please ask your husband why? Thanks

Crystal said...

I used to get so mad at Target. Darn you 489 MBAs and Marketing PhDs for knowing just where to put the laundry detergent AND wet wipes AND mascara. But, like the size of my butt, it's now a force I cannot control and I may as well enjoy it.

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