Friday, July 31, 2009

God Told Me To

Clay has a shoe problem - in that he can never find them. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that
A. He never puts them away where they belong, and
B. He's a boy and therefore cannot find anything unless it jumps out and bites him on the butt.

Yesterday was no exception. As I was scrambling to get everyone ready and in the car for vacation bible school, Clay was looking for his shoes. And by "looking for his shoes", I mean wandering around aimlessly, saying, I can't find my shoes. Do I have to wear shoes?"

He managed to find one shoe in the closet where it belongs. Jackson found the other one, after searching high and low for a good 10 minutes, in the garage. (I have no idea.)

Then this morning, I handed Clay a pair of socks as I was folding laundry and told him, "Get your socks and shoes on." (I used to say "get your shoes and socks on", but I have too many smart-aleck kids who would put their shoes on first and then try to pull their socks on over their shoes. "Well you said to put my shoes and socks on," they'd smirk.)

Anyway, Clay marched off with his socks, seemingly to put them on and find his shoes. About 10 minutes later, I saw him, still barefoot, watching TV. I gently reminded him, "TURN OFF THE TV AND PUT YOUR STINKIN' SHOES AND SOCKS ON!" He looked at me and said, "I don't have any socks."

"Yes you do! I just gave you a pair," I responded, frustrated.

"They're wet," he said simply.

"Why are they wet?" I demanded.

"Because I was trying to run on water."

Well duh. Makes perfect sense to me.

"What do you mean - you were trying to run on water? What water? Where?"

"In the sink."

"You were trying to run in the bathroom sink? For real?" I asked, incredulous. Not much Clay does surprises me anymore, but trying to run in the bathroom sink filled with water sounded pretty strange even for Clay.

"Yeah," he admitted.

"Why, why, WHY???"

He thought for a moment and said, "God told me to."

Oh yeah, this is what has come out of vacation bible school. I can just see it now. That's going to be his excuse for everything for the next month.

Why aren't you eating your vegetables?
God told me not to.

Why did you hit your sister?
God told me to.

Why are you driving me to drink?
God told me to.

Fun times ahead.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG Dawn! that is hilarious! I wish I had a dollar for every lonely shoe single I have. @@

Clayton is a riot! I think he has got great potential for a future career in politics :)

Good luck!

MaranathaMom said...

As soon as I saw your title I thought, "Oh, wow, her kids say that, too?" My 3.5 yr old is using GOD as an excuse for anything! She will probably be the girl who breaks up with her boyfriends because she didn't think it was God's will for them to date anymore! Here is just one example, but there are soo many more! http://reason2sing.blogspot.com/2009/06/devil-made-me-do-it.html

Martha in PA said...

I can relate.. Tara leaves her shoes in the car so she knows where they are... now in FL, and our house with a garage it was not such a bad idea.. but back here in PA with no garage and WINTER I'm not sure how that is going to work come freezing temperatures, it's quite a few steps around from our apt to the parking lot! She would lose her socks between the time I put them with the other clothes in the morning, even though I put them on the TOP of the pile... in retrospect, I guess they should have been on the bottom since they were the last thing she would put on. Have I mentioned I HATE socks, and I dread the day that it is too cold for flip flops and sandals and bare feet!

Sheri said...

LOL AWESOME!!! I know it's frustrating, but what a fun kid!

Tammy said...

I don't know that "God told me to" is more annoying than "I don't know". My daughter does the wander thing, but she adds whining and crying. Usually her shoes are on the rug by the front door. :0S

Barb said...

When my son was little and would do something (bad) and I'd say "did you do XYZ?" His reply was "I didn't see myself do it!" It always cracked us up. You definitely have your hands full!

Veggiemomof2 said...

That's right! They had the story about Jesus asking Peter to step out of the boat in the middle of the lake with him, didn't they?

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

haha now that was cute!

Hmmm.....God must be telling my lil one NOT to wear shoes too. She goes out of the house wearing them and comes back in having NO CLUE as to where they are.

I give up.

MaBunny said...

hahahhahahaha, good one Clay!

mommeeof9 said...

My kids leave their shoes in the strangest places. We rarely wear them at home. I finally started leaving the 2 and 4 year olds shoes in the van, with pairs of clean socks.

Keesler Chaos said...

My son looses his shoes so often that I no longer care if his shoes match. He once wore one flip flop and one croc for 2 days. Well, it was better than the other choice, which was one flip flop, one Thomas snow boot!

Carie said...

Wow! In 14 years of motherhood, I've not heard this one! Had to laugh. I mean, how do you argue with God? :-)

I do have a child who says he has no socks, but we later learn that he has socks; he just put them in the wrong drawer. (Well, duh!)

Jen said...

OMG this is hilarious - even my hubby thought so when I read that to him. I'm just glad my kids came home with silly songs instead of the 'God told me to' response! :)

Cropaddict said...

Gotta love what the kids come up with.

Did I miss where you posted the winner of the drawing for your autographed book for posting info to share with Ford?

Marit in Idaho said...

For years my son who suffers from the same affliction, only owned one pair of shoes. It was my strategy. That way, he could not lose them. He would have to keep track of them. No more of one sandal, one sneaker, one loafer for church, one hiking boot, etc. So, I tried the one pair notion. But my idea was no good. Still lost them consistently.

His sister (just 4 last week) is doing the "God" thing. Except, our house has been invaded by moths - 100s of them on the ground and walls by the lights of our porch. She is terrified of them.

One day as we are leaving the house, she announces that they are all gone. I notice she is right. Then, she promptly takes credit for it because she prayed God to get rid of them and he did. I think he sent birds to do so, but I don't doubt her. Faith like hers is amazing. I hope she never prays for a pony!!

Anonymous said...

We leave shoes for ds #2 in the car too! Then he only has to wear them to the store or whatever and back. It works for us!

-Beth in MI

Vicki said...

God also said "Spare the rod spoil the child!" Go get your shoes on NOW........or...........
That's what it is like around this loving home!!!!! hahahahaha
He sure is a funny little guy. Lots of great material for another book!

Ninji Momma said...

I love to read all of your stories, they sound like they came out of my life! I definately can attest to the boys not knowing where everything is...and I only have 2, including the hubby. Thank goodness for my girls, who remember things too well sometimes!

Twisted Cinderella said...

LOL that is too funny!!

Chick Hatchers said...

I am laughing SO hard! Your Clay sounds just like MY Child B. Two summers ago (2007, which I have to specify because summer-2009 seems over based on temps this weekend in the western 'burbs) after swimming lessons, she put her shoes on in the locker room. We simply walked out of the locker room, down the sidewalk, and got into the van. Having an older and younger child with me, I thought I was doing good to make it to the van with all 3. Apparently not. We got to the store, and as she was getting out I asked her where her shoes were. She had no idea. They were not in the van. They were not in the locker room, nor along the way from where we had parked. They were not in the lost and found. We checked every day for a week in the lost and found. Nope. I still have no idea how she lost her shoes that she was wearing! (Neither does she.)

She is also frequently in front of the tv after I haven given her a specific instruction. She usually has no recollection of those instructions, even after repeating them back to me. The tv erases all memories of instructions from mom.

Nothing about her surprises me anymore. But I am sometimes amused, which is why I have the blog. :)

mychildsview.blogspot.com

Candi said...

Once again I have been out of commission for awhile and it's taken me a few days to catch up on everyone I email and visit. I've chosen carefully where to place any comments to save time, and because this goes back so long I started to comment under one of the other headings, but here I am being compulsive me and putting things in their proper place, because nowhere else would do and this makes me appear organized though nothing is further from the truth. I used to live in organized chaos. Now I just live in chaos. Now I know who Clay really is. He's Peter. No wonder he's such a special kid. Of all the children from your VBS how many do you suppose even got their feet wet "thinking" about walking on water? Of 12 desciples, only Peter got out of the boat. I know it was in a sink. But perhaps he only intended to stand on the water rather than walking on it. I give him 2 thumbs up for the effort and a resounding Hallelujah! for the heart that went with it. I'd love to know what he learned from it. God bless the Meehan household and all the saints therein.

Carla said...

I have 3 daughters ages 2,4, and 7. We can NEVER find shoes when we need to get out the door in a semi quick manner! Only one of eah pair can be found if they look and the oldest instists on wearing shoes 2 sizes too small b/c they're pretty. The 2 year old walks around aimlessly saying "I can't find 'em!"

The other day, we rushed out the door and when I opened the shop door, I noticed the 2 year old was barefoot! Hey, she's just shy of 3 and should be able to follow the get your shoes on instructions. Right? Right? Nice, Mom
!

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