I Want to Bee Number One!

You know those little buttons I have over there ---->

The ones for the Blogger's Choice Awards? Well, I've been in first place for Best Humor Blog and Best Parenting Blog for months. Now, they're just showing that I'm in the top 3, but they're not showing the actual number of votes I have. What if I'm not in first place anymore? My inner Monica is coming out and I want to WIN! I don't know if there's an actual awards ceremony or if I just get a virtual certificate that says, "Congratulations! More people than just your mom read your blog!" Either way, I wanna winnnnnnn! (I have a little competition problem, it seems.)

So, here's my demand request: Please go over to the Blogger's Choice Awards and vote for me! I've been nominated for 4 categories, but would sure appreciate votes in the humor and parenting categories. Please, please, pleeeease? (I'm not above begging.) Thank you so much!

*****edited to add: Oooo! I just noticed that I'm in the top 3 for Hottest Mommy Blogger too! Woo Hoo!*****

So, I went to the allergist for venom testing this afternoon. They started by putting tiny amounts of very diluted honeybee, yellow jacket, white wasp, yellow wasp, and hornet venom on little scratches on my forearm. A couple minutes after they put the venom on, I felt dizzy and crappy and not well at all. They quickly took my blood pressure and it had spiked. If I'd been having a severe allergic reaction, it would have dropped. This basically means, I just freaked myself out for some reason. I felt like such a dork. Here I was freaking out and hyperventilating, feeling dizzy and there was nothing wrong.

They kept asking me if I was afraid of needles. Are you kidding? No! I used to donate platelets every month. I had to give myself twice daily injections in my abdomen when I was pregnant. Needles don't bother me. I didn't feel nervous or scared or anything. I don't think I felt scared at least. Maybe somehow I was frightened since the last time I was stung, I felt awful and dizzy for 24 hours. Anyway, after I stopped freaking out and my blood pressure returned to normal, they noticed that I had a reaction to the honeybee venom. The doctor came in and said, "The fact that you reacted to the very first, least concentrated, scratch test shows that you're highly allergic to honeybee venom. Don't get stung by a honeybee."

"Oh ok. I'll have a little talk with the bees and make sure they understand not to sting me."

So, they continued the testing by administering a more concentrated dose via an injection under the skin. They injected every one except honeybee. They waited another 20 minutes. No reactions.

Round three. A little more concentrated injection of the 4 different venoms were injected again. Another 20 minutes. No reaction. Meanwhile, the guy who was being tested at the same time I was, reacted to everything BUT the honeybee. The guy sitting next to me who had the lowest blood pressure ever. "I exercise! That's why I have low blood pressure. Exercise is wonderful! It releases endorphins and helps your heart and blah blah blah....." At this point, I slapped him.

Round four. Again, I got a little more concentrated dose of the 4 different venoms. This time I had a reaction to yellow jackets.

So, I have an Epi-Pen that I have to carry with me during the summer and fall. I'm a little nervous about camping (especially this time of year because bees are really bad in the fall here). I tend to get stung when we camp. I think I'd better send Joe and the kids on any future camping trips while I stay home being lazy, drinking beer, and playing on my computer to protect myself from killer bees. I'd hate to fall over dead from something as lame as a bee sting.

So have any of you guys gone through desensitizing shots for bee stings? Is it worth getting shots for FIVE YEARS?

I Do It Myself!

You want some spaghetti with that cheese, Brooklyn?


No, you don't need to clean it up, Mom. I'll just lick it up like this.

For those of you following my fashion crisis, you can check out the latest installment HERE. Just be warned - there are graphic images. Not for the weak of stomach. And check out the t-shirt giveaway HERE.

Kodak Moments Part 2

Here are a few more Kodak moments to cherish. This is a continuation of THIS POST. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back and read the first one. We'll wait.


I think this was supposed to be a photography lesson in choosing interesting backgrounds. Or maybe in how to draw attention to especially big hairstyles.

Ahh yes, it never gets old taking a picture of someone taking a picture. And is it just the angle or is my vision warped or is that guy's legs really small in comparison to the rest of his body. Maybe it's the slimming stripes on his snazzy pants.

There's nothing like sitting around on a carpet made from the family sheep dog for the nightly sing-a-long. "Come on kids! All together now! Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down..."

I'm not sure what's more disturbing - how Mom's pants blend into the chair cushion or the strange Ewok looking thing wearing a hoodie and standing next to the boy.

Oh crap. My hair's on fire again. I knew I shouldn't have tried to recreate that Police video.

Speaking of hair.... gotta love the 70s!

OK, it's a little hard to see, so I'll explain what's going on in this picture. A cowboy has hijacked this horse and wagon and is looking on, his shotgun cocked and ready in case junior tries any funny business. Grandpa (he's the one who looks like he belongs in a wax museum) is telling junior take the reigns so he can make a break for it and jump off the moving wagon.

Oh please tell me this guy is wearing something, anything under that stylish shirt.

Ahhh yes, the annual picture of crazy Uncle Lou at the family Christmas party.

Why you shouldn't use a flash when photographing pets. It will freak. them. out.

Who do you think you're fooling, buddy? 6 candles? Come on. People think you're her dad.

OK, yes this woman appears to be looking at a cow's butt. I'm not sure why. But honestly I'm more intrigued by the circle with the line through it on the barn door. No what? What's being banned here? I don't get it. There's nothing in the circle.

The actual words under this picture read, "Get down to the animal's level and move in close for the most dramatic pictures." They left off this part - "Make sure the animal's rabies shots are up-to-date and be prepared to have your jugular slashed open by Fluffy's fangs.

Check out my REVIEW BLOG here for my "B > THAN" t-shirt giveaway!

Sunday Sound Out

I love cute purses, bags, totes, diaper bags, you name it. Love them! Obsessed with them. However, I'm cheap and usually won't spend more than $20 on a purse. Anyone else with me on this? How would you like to get a free purse while helping victims of domestic violence? Have you guys heard about the Tell a Gal P.A.L. program? This program encourages people to donate their nearly new purses to Dress for Success. It helps domestic violence survivors get back on their feet with confidence. You can click the link to find an Allstate agency in your area that will accept the donations. And Ugly Betty actress, Ana Ortiz is donating her Onna Ehrlich purse to one lucky winner for telling her gal pals about domestic violence. To enter, click HERE. Hurry on over because it ends October 31st.

...how close are you children? I have a 9 month old & just found out I'm pregnant again. They'll be 17 months apart... Since you've managed to survive your 6 pack, I hope you can tell me I'll survive 2 under 2.
Umm sure you'll survive 2 under 2. You may not sleep for a year. You probably won't sit down for a good year. And I guarantee you won't eat any hot food for at least a year. But, on the bright side, your kids will likely have a close bond. They'll be doing roughly the same things at the same time (as opposed to one kid taking driver's ed. and the other one potty training, you know?) And IT GETS EASIER. My first 2 are 18 months apart. Thankfully Savannah was a very easy-going baby because Austin demanded a lot of attention. Those days when I had 2, 3, even 4 little ones were hard. Now that they're getting older, ir's much easier.

I'm sorry to bring this up but I think I've missed a VERY important post here - your son has cancer?Noooo, no my sons are fine. I was talking about Coleman Larson.

Dawn, could you please post a link to Coleman's care pages please
I would love to, but there isn't a direct link to it. You have to go to Carepages.com and scroll down to the bottom left where it says "become a member" and sign up. Then you can log in and read Coleman's updates (or anyone else's too) or you can have alerts emailed to you every time the page is updated.

OK, sorry this is kind of unrelated to your post today, but I wondered if you ever posted a review for that sunless tanner you got from some conference you went on a while ago. I seem to remember you said you don't like the smell of these kinds of tanners, and I wondered if this was was better?
She's talking about a Neutragena sunless tanner that I tried back in April. I stopped using it after 2 days because I couldn't stand the way it smelled. I hate that sunless tanner smell. So, I'm not sure if it would work really well or not.

what is up with the guy with the cross chest hair? Is he supposed to be Adam??? :)











Clearly, he's used one of those popular Shave Your Chest Hair Stencils to achieve this creepy as all get-out interesting visual design.

I just read your "Breakfast for Dinner" post, and I have a question for you, since you get the yucky job of frying enough greasy bacon to feed all six kids. Have you not heard about doing bacon in the microwave?
Honestly, I usually just tell the kids something like, "We're out of bacon", or "Wouldn't you prefer something easier healthier like a glass of water?" Know what's even better than doing bacon in the microwave or the oven though? Doing it outside when you're camping. No stinky fried smell in the house.

I knew what he was going to do before he did it because that was my trick too. LOL. Dawn-do you ever TT? I bet you could come up with hilarious lists!
You have no idea how long I tried to figure out what TT stands for. I give up. Help?

I'm sure this is a stupid question, but can you eat the WHOLE cake? Not you personally, although I could, but it the whole thing made of food products? Did you use rolled fondant?
No, I couldn't eat the whole cake because I don't much like cake. Now if it was made from cookie dough.....
Technically, the whole cake is edible, but I wouldn't recommend eating the tools. I used pastillage to make the tools and I don't think it would taste that great. Plus, it dries super hard so you might chip a tooth. I haven't worked with pastillage for like 12 years and I forgot just how quickly it dries out. Up close, the tools were wrinkled, cracked and dried out looking. The pieces that made up the tray on top, the drawer and the handle cracked a million times. They were glued together with royal icing many times over. I used spray food color for some parts and an edible silver dust for the tools. I didn't use any fondant on this cake.

Uh...you're disappointed with the cake? Uh. Yeah. My kids are lucky to get birthday CUPCAKES...from the store. =D
I showed the picture to my son. He didn't even notice it was a cake at first. THAT'S how good it was.
Perfectionist much? =)
hanging my head in shame Yes, I really am. Austin is too. It makes me nuts with him.

Anyway, it's astonishing you got all that done while you were doing everything else that you do. What the hey? Do you ever sleep? =)
Let's see... it's almost 2:00 AM now and I still have a couple loads of laundry to do, a lunch to make, 40 more emails to respond to, another post to write, and I'm busy watching a What Not to Wear marathon trying, hoping to have some tips sink in so I don't look like a total dorkus. In other words, nope, I don't sleep.

So that's what Joe looks like! He has intelligent eyes. For some reason, I didn't expect him to look very smart!
SNORT! ROFL!!! Oooo this just made me crack up!

WOOHOO Dawn! I just got a notice from Amazon.com telling me they had a shipping date for your book - Estimated arrival date: 10/24/2008 - 11/13/2008. Is that really happening? I thought your book wasn't being released until next year.
Sorry to disappoint. The book won't be out until April 1, 2009. I'm not sure why Amazon sent out that notice, but my publisher is checking on it.

A few years ago my son swallowed a quarter. He just couldn't pick a dime or penny that would pass through. That stupid quarter cost me a gazillion dollars in x-rays over several days to make sure he was ok.
Oh yeah, I'm familiar with that too. STOMACH STAPLING

I'm sorry this is off subject, but there is a new "follow" feature on blogger. Whenever I try to follow your blog it tells me that it can not detect a feed from this URL. Do you have any idea why, or do you know if anybody else has had this problem? I hate not being able to figure things out, lol.
You're asking me? Seriously? I just learned what a feeder or reader or whatever was 2 weeks ago! I'm clueless. But I know my readers are very intelligent and I'm sure someone out there can help you.

what is your least fave thing your kids have done? what has made you the most mad you think you will ever get? and witch kids did it? just wondering
I don't know, but I'm sure they'll top it tomorrow.

What did YOU want to be when you were growing up?
Hmmm, I don't remember wanting to be anything specific. Mom? Dad? Remember anything? I've always loved acting and writing, but I don't recall ever thinking that I wanted to grow up to be an actor or a writer.

I am wondering- does your counter have any way to count those posts read on readers? Because if not, I am sure your hit number is much higher- I read your blog in google reader and rarely click through to the page, mostly only if I want to comment. So if those aren't counted, there are many more readers out there than you think!
Oooo, I don't know. Good question!

Could you explain the situation on your book? My Mom said she preordered it in August for my birthday and I was beginning to wonder if that was just her way of covering up that she FORGOT my birthday (yes, my OWN mother!). Thanks for a clarification...
Always listen to your mother! Always! She didn't forget your birthday. It was originally scheduled to be out in August. For different reasons, it was pushed back until April.

(In regards to the mud pie) What an interesting looking dessert idea... What would happen IF you took one of those plates, froze it(so it wouldn't fall apart) and then in a day or two..bring it out..saying Tonight we have Child X or Child Y to thank for making this wonderful treat..Dig In! My question is: Would this be perceived as a really funny JOKE.or..would it precipitate a CRISIS solveable ONLY by a hasty trip to Dairy Queen,or that SONIC place you mentioned a few weeks back.
I'm pretty sure it would just confirm my kids' suspicions that I'm off my rocker.

I enjoyed reading about your car adventures. So, where was Austin this whole time?
He was at a cross country meet while we were at the orthodontist.

Uh, what did the Ortho want?
More money. Just kidding. Actually, I just needed to schedule Savannah's next appointment.

how many kids did you plan on having when you married Joe? (Im guessing it was not always 6!)
18. We're a third of the way there.

Have you ever watched Phineas and Ferb? it's a cartoon on the Disney show. Your kids remind me of those boys.
There's 104 days of summer vacation and school comes along just to end it, so the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it. Like maybe building a rocket...
Nope, never seen it.

That's pretty cool (golf course). Did Austin build that all by himself?
Yes, what a wonderful use of time, no?
Actually, Joe did the sawing.

And...
is Lexi playing in roller blades?
How else would you play miniature golf?

Fore!

Last night, Austin came to the conclusion we needed a miniature golf course at our house because, you know, doesn't everyone have 18 holes in their garage?


Savannah helping Clayton putt with a baseball bat. What can I say, they're resourceful.


Clay yells, "Woo Hoo! I hit it!" while the girls wait for their turn.

The 4 hole golf course


Austin putting up the hill


You have to get it through the mouth here.

The ball drops into a bucket on this last hole.
Think they could build an addition on my house?

Oh yeah, if you have any kind of fashion sense at all, please, please, PLEASE check out my other blog because I really need some help! Click HERE.

Another Fun Diet Plan

Although I can't seem to stick to any kind of healthy eating plan for more than a week at a time, I'm nothing if not dedicated to helping my readers lose weight.


My cupboards were pretty bare one night when Austin was looking for a snack of some sort. He ended up with this. No, it's not a placenta. It's a can of cranberry sauce. He had a couple bites and decided he wasn't that hungry after all.


Something that spewed from Linda Blair's mouth? Nope. It's the homemade split pea soup I made the other night. It tasted much better than it looked.


Here's another tasty way to lose weight. Just munch on a pool noodle. Low calories and extremely filling.


Or instead of eating your fries, drop them on the floor of my car.


Then make a mud pie on the picnic table that Joe just cleaned with bleach water.


You know it's probably not a good idea to smear mud all over the table, so take Mom's Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and clean up your mess with it.


Wash it all down with a cool refreshing glass of water and sand.


Then, instead of eating your turkey, make a creative Halloween mask out of it.


The Amazing Lunchmeat Man! Da-da-da!

Follow my handy diet tips and you'll be thin and svelte in no time. Of course, you'll probably be extremely sick too, but being thin comes with a price.

My Kids Are All Nuts (and that includes my husband)

At Savannah's orthodontist appointment today, I stayed out in the car with the little kids because they were all off-the-wall insane. I parked the car and let Savannah go inside by herself to get her braces checked. While I sat there, Clay and Lexi unbuckled from their car seats and started jumping around like super balls. Brooklyn and Clayton screeched and laughed and snapped their blankets around, hitting one another. Lexi repeatedly blew up the balloon she'd gotten at school, then she let all the air out in a giant spitty breeze. Again and again and again.

And again.

I got up and buckled Clay back in, threatened to superglue him to his seat, and told Lexi to sit her butt back down now. Then I scrounged around, looking for something to keep the kids more busy and less, you know, insane. I found a couple fries under my seat that had probably been there since we went to Sonic. I considered feeding them to the kids for a minute promptly threw them out. What's this? Goody bags? Yahoo! I found 3 goody bags that were leftover extras from Jackson's birthday party! I looked through the bags and pulled out some candy and pretzels (Yeah, yeah, I put some pretzels in with the toys and candy. My kids have already made fun of me for this so you don't have to.)

So the pretzels kept the kids occupied for a good 2.4 seconds. And then they started to go into orbit so I did what any other normal, well-adjusted, sane mother would do. I turned the radio full blast to drown out the cacophony from the backseats. Unfortunately, like most normal, well-adjusted, sane kids, they were not about to be outdone by the radio so they just raised their own voices a few hundred decibels.

Then, the most wonderful thing happened. A train came by! A train came by about 3 yards from our car! The kids were silent! They stared out the window at the train you could practically touch from our van. I mean, it was almost as close to us as the train that came by every half hour, all weekend long, when we were camping. Why is it that every campground we go to is situated mere feet away from a busy railroad track anyway??? Sorry, I digress.

So this train held their attention and kept them mesmerized as it rattled by so close it shook the car. And then finally Savannah came out and told me they wanted to talk to me. We switched places and I went in. Her orthodontist is one of those funny guys who doesn't have to think of something humorous to say; it just comes out. Everything out of his mouth elicits a laugh. Well, maybe not everything out of his mouth. I mean, if he were to, say, throw up, that wouldn't make me laugh, but you catch my drift. He asked where Savannah had disappeared to and I replied, "She's in the car watching the little kids who are off their rockers."

"Are you still feeding them?" he inquired.

"Oh, is that what I'm doing wrong?"

"Yeah, you gotta stop feeding them. Eventually they slow down that way. Either that or harness them to a stake in the yard and just let them run around in circles. Hook them up to a generator and let them power your house."

I love this guy! He's a wealth of helpful information and ideas! I think I'm going to try that last suggestion. Talk about going green! Kid power! Who needs electricity? If we could harness the energy of your average toddler, I'm certain it could power a city block. Think of the possibilities! And say goodbye to gas for $4.00+ a gallon! Just equip cars with hamster wheels and let the kids go!

What? At least I think of good ideas! Unlike Joe and the kids. I'm not sure how it started, but at dinner tonight, they brainstormed different uses for the pitching machine.
"You could put rocks in it and shoot them at the neighbor's house."
"Oooo! Oooo! I know! How about paint balls?"
"We could shoot knives out at the garage and see if they stick!"
"Oh! How about ketchup?"
"No! I've got it! Waterballoons!"
The kids and Joe all laughed uproariously and almost fell off their chairs while I sat there rolling my eyes at the sheer stupidity of the conversation. Yep, that's my family.

*****Check out my review blog HERE for the latest giveaways*****

Lunch Box Winner

Thank you to everyone who took the time to leave me some of your favorite lunch ideas! I've already used a couple ideas this week! They were really helpful to me and hopefully others who read the comments.

The winner of the Lands' End lunchbox is Mandi R. who left the 222 comment. Congratulations Mandi! Email me with your shipping address.

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:222
Timestamp: 2008-09-25 01:21:07 UTC

Mandi R said...
My 2 yr old loves the mini mandarin oranges and muffins for breakfast instead of the regular cereal. Another favorite that I found is cup o veggies, my daughter likes to eat them both cold & warm.PS I love your tortilla sandwich idea, i will borrow that. Some times I feel that the lunched get boring, I can wait to get some new ideas! Thanks!

Ahhh- Chooo!

I'm sick. The kids have had colds on and off for a couple weeks and they've shared their germs with me. Maybe it has something to do with the time Brooklyn sprayed my face with her sneeze juice. Anyway, I'm sick now. Actually I've had this stupid cold all week. It's just a stuffy head, snot nose cold, but it's kicking my butt. I want to take a nap. Wait; scratch that. Joe just showed me a whole, yet cracked, uncooked egg that was found next to my bed. I have no idea how it got there, but it reminds me of why taking a nap would be a very bad idea.

Just a couple things here before I fall asleep sitting up watch a movie with the kids.

The third segment of my interview with 5 Minutes For Mom is up HERE. Go watch it and check out the rest of their site while you're there! Just don't look at my total fatness (especially in contrast to these twins who are a size negative 2). Concentrate on my shiny hair instead. It's nice when someone does your hair for you. Which brings me to my second thing...

I was sent a buttload of Suave products to try out. Score! The kids love the coconut shampoo and Lexi is happy we got detangler because that girl has the tangliest hair ever! I used the vibrant shine shampoo and conditioner and I love the way it lathers up and cleans my hair. The conditioner is nice and thick and leaves my hair soft and shiny. I didn't love the fragrance, but that's probably just because I'm insane about stuff like that. I'm picky about the way things smell and I've oftentimes bought a shampoo or lotion solely based on the fragrance. I know, I know, I admit that I'm a little, ah, neurotic. Anyway, what does smell really good is the lavender vanilla body wash and lotion. Mmmm, soft and yummy and calming.

And better than all these goodies is the fact that I'll be going to Beverly Hills to see the Glamour Reel Moments premier presented by Suave! You'll be able to read more details in the future on my review blog HERE. All I know is a few fashion and beauty bloggers are going, sweet Liz from This Full House is going, and then there's frumpy old me. I think I need a trip to the mall to see what the mannequins are wearing this season.

A few people have emailed me, letting me know that they've received an email from Amazon stating that my book will be shipping in a couple weeks. I'm not sure why you've gotten those emails, but nope, the book won't be out until April 1st. Hmmm, April Fool's Day? Yeah, that's not a bad sign.

And woohoo! I got to 4,000,000 hits today! Thanks for letting me know, Sandy!

OK, sorry, but that's it for tonight. Sooo tired. But I'll leave you with this picture of the dessert the kids made....

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

OK, so my oldest child is in 8th grade this year. Eighth grade. I learned tonight that he pretty much needs to decide what he wants to do for a living now. In eighth grade. To put it in perspective, I just found out what I wanted to do with my life this past year. At age 37.

Austin and I went to an orientation type event at the high school today. We went from class to class and listened to the importance of forming a 4 year plan; a 4 year plan that needs to be decided on now. They stressed over and over the importance of choosing classes wisely and always working toward your long term goal of college and after. I just sat there thinking, "But my son is only in 8th grade! I swear just yesterday he was learning how to walk. What happened? When did he grow up? When did he go from the little kid who was obsessed with animals and Hot wheels and Pokemon to the young man sitting next to me who was being instructed to start thinking about his career path? I had to bite my lip to keep from tearing up.

I'm glad we went to this curriculum introduction because man, oh man, have things changed since I was in high school. Did you know that a lot of high schools offer courses that count toward college credit? Our school offers classes that, when you do well on the final tests, can count toward a semester of college. On the one hand - yay for the parents because who wouldn't want their kid to essentially get a semester of college for free? On the other hand - HE'S ONLY IN EIGHTH GRADE AND YOU'RE ALREADY TALKING ABOUT HIS SECOND YEAR IN COLLEGE! I started hyperventilating and my son looked at me as if to say, "See, I told you school was evil."

Austin will have to take a very long, very important test in November which will determine his placement next year in high school. Come January, he'll have to choose the classes he'd like to take. You know, keeping in mind his college plans and what he'd like to do with his life. That's a lot of pressure! How is a 13 year old supposed to know what he wants to do with his life? I know a lot of people who didn't decide what they wanted to do until after college. Some switched majors fifteen times before graduating. Most ended up doing something completely unrelated to their majors.

Austin and I talked a little bit about his future career. "So what do you want me to do, Mom?"
"I want you to do something that makes you happy."
"Like what?"
"Well, you're a smart kid. I'd hate to see you settle for a job that doesn't use your full potential. You could really do anything you wanted to."
Did I just say that? Did I say that out loud to him? Flashbacks of my parents and my guidance counselor looking disappointed while admonishing me, "If only you'd work up to your potential.... If only you'd apply yourself, you could do anything you wanted to...." whirred through my head.
Jackson piped up and said, "I know what I want to do!"
"That's great," I think. At least one of my kids is driven and knows what he wants to do with his life! "What do you want to do, Jackson?"
"I'm going to work at the bakery so I get free cookies," he proudly announced.
That's my boy!

***** See my review blog HERE for the latest giveaways*****

It Smells Like Peppermint

Do you like the scent of peppermint? You know those large sized peppermint Tic Tacs? They smell really good, don't they? I mean, you could probably just sit there and smell those all day long, couldn't you? No? Well, apparently Brooklyn could because she shoved one up her nose today when I was dropping Clay off to preschool.

"Ouch! Mom, it's stuck!"

"What's stuck?" I asked as Brooklyn rubbed her nose.

"She put the mint up her nose," Clay told me, matter-of-factly.

"Whaaaat?" I tilted Brooklyn's head and looked up her nose. Sure enough, just barely visible, was a slice of white mint peeking out.

Ever on my toes, poised for action, I plugged the non-minty nostril and told her to blow. Did I grab a tissue first? Oh no. That wouldn't be nearly disgusting enough. I just held my bare hand out in front of her nose and waited for her to blow the mint into my outstretched hand. Here's the thing though - Brooklyn's two. Two year olds don't always get the concept of "blow". Instead of blowing through her nose, she kinda spit into my hand.

"Well, that's um, nice." By this time, the kids have all taken their seats and the teachers are trying to start class. I'm still standing there, alternating looking up Brooklyn's nose and telling her to blow. Evidently, a mom attempting to get a toddler to blow her nose into her hand is distracting to preschoolers. Who knew?

So I grabbed a couple tissues, picked up Brooklyn, who has minty-fresh snot running down her face by this time, and headed to the car. Once at the car, I held the tissues up and told her to blow her nose one more time. She did it and the mint, which was starting to melt, came flying out in a sticky trail of goo.

This was followed by my newly created lecture that goes a little like this: You never, ever put mints up your nose. You don't put them in your ears or eyes either. They go in your mouth ONLY!

At least it wasn't a Mento.

I've got another review and giveaway up on my review blog HERE. I'm giving away 10 packs of Safety Tats this week! Check it out!

You can still post a comment on my lunch post HERE to win a free Lands' End lunch container. I'll pick a winner on Wednesday, September 24th.

It's Not a Party Til Someone Barfs

Oh my gosh! I totally forgot the most awesome thing that happened at the party! Clay came up to me toward the end of the party and asked, "Why does my stomach hurt?"

I told him, "Because you've eaten too much cake, candy and cookies and you've been running around like a maniac all night."

A little later, he came up to me and complained that his tummy was still hurting. I told him to sit down and rest for a bit.

A little later still, I was cleaning up stuff after the party. As I took a load out to my car, Clay, already outside by Joe, said, "I feel like throwing up."
Being the awesome, concerned mom I am, I said, "Well do it outside!"

About 60 seconds later - BBBBAAAARRRRFFFFFFFF! Splat all over the sidewalk. I ran back inside. Seriously, you've never seen a fat lady move so fast. Joe cleaned up Clay (and the sidewalk). Happy birthday, hon!

Thankfully, after losing all his dinner cake and cookies and crap, Clay felt 100% better and has been fine since.

Surprise!

I had a surprise 40th birthday party for Joe on Saturday. His actual birthday isn't until the end of October so he totally wasn't expecting a birthday party last night (a month ahead of time). I've been working on this like crazy for the past few weeks. I actually started planning it way back in April. I rented the clubhouse at my aunt's townhouse complex and told Joe that my cousin was in town from Montana and my aunt was having a get-together for him at her clubhouse. He believed that because my aunt actually did have a get-together for her son, Dimitri a few years ago when he was in town.

I'd been making stuff and stashing it in our camper for weeks and I needed a way to get everything out of the camper and into my car so I could take it over to the clubhouse. I had a plan though. A couple days ago, I asked Joe if he had any plans for Saturday and would he mind if I met my friend, Jen to go shopping. Then I asked him if he'd take my car to get the oil changed on Saturday while I was shopping. He agreed so I thought I had everything under control. Joe would load up the kids and take my car in and then I'd load all my party supplies into his truck and drive it over to the clubhouse while he thought I was meeting Jen to go shopping. While Joe thought I was shopping all day, I'd really be decorating the clubhouse, finishing the cake, picking up balloons, and going to the grocery store for some last minute items.

That was the plan.

After staying up until 2:00 AM to finish making a video for Joe, I was out cold when Joe took my car to get the oil changed at 7:30 in the morning. Savannah woke me up about 8:00 and said, "Dad already left!" Whaaat? That can't be! He's supposed to take my car in later! He's supposed to take the kids with him! Now what am I going to do? Think fast! I sprang out of bed, threw on the clothes I'd worn yesterday, and Savannah and I ran out to the camper and started loading up Joe's truck. No shower. No make-up. I didn't comb my hair or brush my teeth. I was on a mission to get as much stuff over to the clubhouse as I could. And quickly! I ran out the door and realized I didn't have on any shoes. Oops. I ran back, grabbed shoes and car keys and hightailed it to the clubhouse. We left instructions with Austin to watch the little ones who were still asleep, and to tell Joe that we'd run to the bank should he get home and ask.

So Savannah and I dropped off the supplies we'd loaded up and headed back home as quickly as we could before Joe got home from getting my oil changed. Whew! We beat him back home.

After showering and getting dressed, it was time to leave so I could "meet Jen at the mall" (Or, you know, go back over to the clubhouse to set up everything for the party). But since I'd rushed to get to the clubhouse earlier in the morning, I forgot a few things I needed to take over there. Joe had already gotten my oil changed and come back, I had no way to sneak the rest of the supplies out to my car. If Joe saw me taking my huge tackle box of cake decorating supplies and containers of icing and party favors, he'd know something was up. You know, since I don't generally take containers of icing and party favors with me when I go shopping.

Anyway, I got out of that by asking Joe to take the kids to the library. As soon as he left, I packed my car and when he got back home, I took off for the mall, er, clubhouse. My aunt and my good friend Jen stayed and helped me out all day.

Fast forward to the party. When we arrived, everyone was already there and their cars were hidden down the street so Joe didn't suspect a thing. We walked in, everyone shouted, "surprise" and Joe stood there with a confused look on his face. Finally he asked, "Where's Dimitri?" LOL

I made a really cool slideshow for the party. It contained tons of pictures of Joe through the years. Austin and Savannah narrated it and I accompanied it with a bunch of music. My sister-in-law was able to borrow a projector from work so we played the video for everyone after dinner. Unfortunately the narration was really quiet and I don't think most people were able to hear it. Other than that, it turned out really cool. I was proud of that.

I had grand visions of how the cake should turn out. The execution didn't match my visions this time around. I was really disappointed in the cake, but other than that, the food was good, the company was great, and the look on Joe's face, was priceless!

The old man himself.


Favor box of mints (I printed out old pictures of Joe on sticker paper.)

Brooklyn being a brat because I dared to fix a dinner plate for her. Duh, I should have remembered that she'd already eaten the day before.

The cake that was supposed to look like a toolbox.

Stupid warped cake with stupid warped tools

I guess the wrenches turned out ok.

Clay and my friends' daughter Emma. Yes, Clay's shirt is on backwards. Why, you ask? In Clay's words, "I put it on backwards so I could be a dog." Understand now? Of course, this is the same kid who asked me, "Can I have a balloon?" the other day.

"Why do you want a balloon?" I inquired.

"To tie on my bike so I can have a flying bike."

"Do you think that will work? Will your bike fly if you tie a balloon on it?"
"Yes!" he answered emphatically.

"Have you ever seen a flying bike?" I asked.

He thought long and hard before answering. "No. Maybe I need a lot of balloons. Maybe fourteen."

Let's Do Lunch!

I've really been getting into preparing lunches for my kids this year. (Well, for Jackson anyway. The other kids have been mostly buying lunch at school.) What motivated me was meeting Biggie from Lunch in a Box at the BlogHer conference this summer. She's got a great site about all things bento. She has terrific pictures and instructions and ideas of healthy lunches packed in environmentally friendly containers. (Speaking of environmentally friendly containers, the lunch boxes from Lands' End are awesome for just this purpose! And I have one lunch container to give away to one lucky reader courtesy of Lands' End! Details at the bottom of this post.)

Well, I wasn't about to go to all the trouble Biggie does. I mean, I'd hate to lose my status as a total slacker. But I did want to make the kids' lunches a little more interesting than your basic pb&j sandwich and chips.

Here are a couple of my very simple ideas.

I made a quadruple batch of pumpkin muffins and froze a few dozen of them. Now I can just pull out a muffin and put it in a container in my child's lunchbox. It keeps their lunch nice and cold and thaws so it's ready to eat by lunchtime. Plus, it's a sweet, yet healthy snack. They're also great for kiddos (a-hem, Savannah) who don't like to eat a big breakfast. Just pop one in the microwave for a few seconds on defrost and you're good to go!

I send snacks to school in reusable containers like this one I found at The Container Store. These are organic Snikiddy Snacks in mac-n-cheese flavor.

Instead of a plain ole sandwich, I sometimes put fillings (in this case, it's ham, cheese and Romaine lettuce) in a tortilla, roll it up, and then slice it into bite-sized pieces.

I sometimes send yogurt with granola or other cereal than can be sprinkled on it. It's fun, tasty and nutritious. In my container is Kashi Go Lean Crunch.

I usually buy large containers of Stonyfield Farms organic vanilla yogurt and scoop out a portion into a Tupperware snack cup. I send fresh fruit along with it and the kids can mix it in.

Here's another cool container I found at The Container Store. I fill it with fresh veggies and Marie's ranch dressing or fruit and yogurt mixed with cinnamon and sugar for dipping. The kids love these!

I got tired of the kids accidentally tossing or losing my silverware so I started sending them with plastic spoons and forks a couple years ago. This year, trying to be green, I got each of them a set of these stackable utensils for school lunches only. I've drilled in their heads that they are to bring them home under penalty of death. But if aliens swoop down and steal their utensils, at least it won't be breaking up my set of silverware at home. I have a few of these cute ice thingys in different shapes, to keep their lunches chilled too.

Instead of a sandwich, try giving your child some tuna, chicken or egg salad with crackers to spread it on.

I found these Crayons in the organic aisle at my grocery store. Jackson loves these and unlike most juices, these are pear based instead of apple based. For those who are sensitive to the salicylates in apples, these are an awesome find!

I found these cute little Rubbermaid juice boxes at The Container Store too. I can buy large containers of juice and just pour some into this container for lunchtime. It's much cheaper and more environmentally friendly.

Another way to make your sandwiches fun is by using a cookie cutter to make different shapes. You could even put a face on them with ketchup (too bad we're out of it thanks to Brooklyn), mustard, cream cheese, yogurt, olives, or other veggies. Cut out pumpkin shapes or leaves in the fall, snowmen or Christmas trees in the winter, hearts, shamrocks, or Easter bunnies for other holidays.

Here's an absolute favorite lunch of both Jackson & Lexi - Annie's Homegrown mac & cheese . I just cook it up in the morning and spoon it into these thermal containers from Lands' End. The kids tell me that the mac-n-cheese stays warm until lunchtime. This is a great way to send soup, pasta, or leftovers with your child for a delicious, hot alternative to sandwiches.

Set of 2 thermal containers from Lands' End.

And one of my readers will get a Lands' End lunchbox of their choice for FREE! Choose from half a dozen styles in a whole rainbow of colors! <---- check them out here. And, of course, like everything else from Lands' End, they're well-made and durable as well as stylish and functional. You can't go wrong.

So, leave me a comment here with your favorite school lunch idea and I'll choose a random winner on Wednesday, September 23.

This is How I Blow Bubbles

Oooo and check out what I wrote on the BlogHer site HERE and take a minute to share your favorite "feel good" meal idea for a chance to win $100 grocery gift card from Kraft! Who couldn't use 100 bucks for groceries?

The contest for the diaper bag is still going on over at my review blog HERE.

And lastly, have you guys heard about another crib recall by Simplicity/Graco? Over 1 million Simplicity and Graco brand bassinet/co-sleepers have been recalled after 2 babies died because of defectively designed frame rails.

Cara Smith, Deputy Chief of Staff for the Illinois Attorney General’s Office, has asked for volunteers to help get these cribs out of homes, and off the second-hand market.

"The challenge we have is trying to reach those parents who have these bassinets in their homes or those people selling them on the second hand market. We’re looking to form a group of volunteers who could help us in this project by visiting their local second hand store, thrift shop or garage sales and let us know if they see these recalled bassinets for sale. If so (or if they think it may be recalled) we have a toll-free number they or the store owner could call and we’ll take it from there."

Here's what these cribs look like. If you have one, or know someone who does, call the toll free number 1-888-414-7678.

Kodak Moments

The other day, I mentioned to my dad that I'd like to take a photography class. My dad used to be Mr. Photo-Guy. I mean, wherever we went (especially on vacations), there he was with the camera and the 80,000 lenses and filters. "Just stand over there. OK, now climb up in that tree. Just one more picture. OK, now let me change the lens. OK, stand over there. Look that way. OK, now look at your sister. Get back up in the tree....." Meanwhile, 4 days of vacation have passed by and we have yet to leave the hotel grounds. On the bright side, he has 4000 pictures of my sister and me in a tree.

Anyway, my dad gave me a couple of his old photography books to borrow: The 9th Here's How book by Kodak, published in 1974 and Adventures in Color-Slide Photography by Kodak, published in 1976. There are probably some good helpful hints in them, but the little kid in me couldn't stop giggling at the pictures long enough to read anything.

Before and after grandpa looked at Medusa.

"Huh? Platypus tail? I don't know what you're talking about...oh this? No, silly. That's just my tie."

Name 3 things wrong with this picture. The grown man playing with the kitty? The gorgeous blanket? The guy's plaid pants? The overall orange color that burns your retinas?

"I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I didn't steal the bone."

"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me. I'm not even English!"

"Look Dad! Look! Fido can fly! All you have to do is poke him in the butt with this stick!"

"I know you're busy riding your chicken and all, but I just wanted to come over here and tell you that I love your hat! It's almost as sexy as my pants."

"OW! The pain! I think I broke my hip!"

"Darn kids making us lie on the ground. Just smile, honey and let's get this over with. Then we'll rewrite our will."

Ahhh remember the days of playgrounds with metal equipment? With 50 foot slides o' death and those things that spun around like a centrifuge until kids went flying off and/or puked? Ahhh good times, good times.

Yes, the family portrait. A little stiff; a little formal. I think this family can do better, don't you?

"Now you sit over there, Bobby. No, there. Move over 2 more inches. Yes, right there! Now Sally, look at the camera. Ok, Timmy, you hold this wreath and pretend to hang it up. Martha, tilt your head a little. There we go. Now everyone, we don't want to have a stuffy, posed picture like last Christmas, so look natural!"

There are no words. Oh wait, maybe this is a photography lesson on turning the camera around on the peeping Tom outside your window. The naked, peeping Tom. Hmmm, actually scratch that. There are no words.

"And here's a picture of Mother and me at home on Scrabble night."

"The most important lesson in taking good pictures is to always have your lucky pet armadillo on your camera. It distracts people from the comb-over area of slightly thinning hair."

"OK, I'll distract and confuse the bear with my pants; you take the picture."

Is the groom wearing make-up? Do the best man's glasses weigh 4 1/2 pounds? What color was the bowl the groom used to cut his hair? And most disturbingly, why is the best man looking longingly at the groom??? Ohhh, that's not the best man? That's the father of the bride, you say? Oh well, then everything makes perfect sense now.

I have more of these pictures, but I don't want to scare you too much in one night. The rest will have to wait.

Oooo, go over to my review blog and check out the diaper bag, fully loaded with Johnson's products.

Leave a comment there for a chance to win.

*****Edited to add - now through September 30, when you eat at Chili's, they will donate a a portion of their proceeds to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. When you dine on September 29, Chili's will donate 100% of participating restaurant's sales! Help St. Jude find cures and save children with cancer and other catastrophic childhood diseases. (And get out of cooking one night too!)

Sunday Sound Out

This is my view today. Lovely, isn't it? Wish me luck because I'm going to have the kids all home tomorrow as there's no way to get to school!









Dawn, Are you still involved in Mamas Like? I follow the reviews, but haven't seen any from you lately. Just wondering what the scoop is.
I haven't been. :( I love profiling work-at-home mom's shops, crafts, and services, but I've just been having a hard time trying to find time for everything. I have several hundred emails from people wanting a review on Mamaslike and just can't get to them. It's one of those times that instead of buckling down and just plowing through it, I don't know where to start so I just kinda shut down. Angie's been keeping up with it and she's going to be adding another person, Jackie, to help out with reviews soon.

I wonder what makes some people sleep with their eyes open?Higher intelligence?
Yeah, that must be it.

So I was wondering what happened to the email updates? I stopped getting them about mid-August. I resigned up on here because I was missing laughing my butt off at your kids stories.
I don't know. If you signed up with Blogarithm, that's probably the problem. I've heard from a lot of people that Blogarithm stinks at sending out updates. You might want to subscribe to Google Reader. Thanks to the advice of you wonderful readers, I discovered Google Reader and I'm LOVING it! If you missed my post about it, you can go HERE to see a video that explains it.

By the way, did you always know you wanted tons of kids?
Before we got married, Joe and I talked about how many kids we wanted. He said he wanted 2. I said, "Yep, I want 2 or 3." Not sure how we ended up with 6, but I'm glad we did! :)

What do you think about the moms who cook separate meals for each kid?
Whatever - each to their own, right? I personally don't have the time nor patience for that. I cook one meal a night. They can eat it or not. The end. I do make exceptions when I cook something new or something weird that I know the kids don't like. In that case, I'll let them make themselves a sandwich if they want. For example, last night I made meatloaf. I was going to make mashed potatoes to go with it, but I didn't have time so I just threw some rice in the meat mixture and popped it in the oven. The only problem? I didn't use Minute Rice. I used regular long grain rice and when the meatloaf was done, the rice was still REALLY CRUNCHY! Needless to say, several opted for the peanut butter sandwich entree tonight.

okay, she's WAY too clean to have been sucking on that ketchup bottle like that- where are the pics of it in her hair? Behind her ears? Crusted in the nostrils? Or do you just want pics of CADEN like that- maybe girls are cleaner??? hahaAlways love your blog Dawn...I needed that laugh today! Thanks.
LOL Peggy! Like THIS POST? And yesterday, Brooklyn came to me with this red stuff all over her head. I couldn't figure out what she'd gotten into. I moved closer to get a better look and smelled what it was - WINE! I'd had a Mary Kay party earlier and hadn't cleaned up all the wine glasses yet and Brooklyn dumped half a glass of Shiraz on her head. She had 4 showers yesterday. Don't ask.

Speaking of my sweet friend Peggy (Coleman's mom). I wanted to copy something she wrote on her Carepages today. In case you guys don't know, September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Yesterday, in fact, was Childhood Cancer Awareness DAY and I didn't even know it!

"...On our way home from church we picked up the Sunday paper. Anyone look at the TARGET ad today???(Target is, I mean WAS, my favorite store, so I always grab their ad first) Today I grabbed it, and I wanted to cry. Then I got angry…


If you don’t know by now- September is CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH- right? YESTERDAY was NATIONAL CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS DAY- What about "POWERFUL GOLD?" Have all the carepages and caringbridge sites not been saying this enough? Have we not emailed enough people? Have we not written letters to newspaper after newspaper, Have we not worn our t-shirts, gold ribbons, put our stories out there hoping to make a difference, signed petitions, gathered signatures, joined groups, walked our laps,organized fundraisers… sent letters to our 'leaders' in office, screamed it from our rooftops enough to get some awareness??? Have we done enough to make a difference? Today made me wonder…have we done enough for our kids?obviously we have a LOT more work to do.

The front page of the Target ad is FULL of PINK, (not gold for the kids) but, PINK items...You can get a pink vacuum, pink pots and pans, a pink steam mop, a pink 10 speed mixer…*BIG SIGH*, all to raise money for BREAST CANCER, because quote, “Target proudly supports breast cancer research and education”. Thanks Target…thanks. Do you not make a whole lot more money off your toy department than the bra department in your store?

Now don’t get me wrong. I mean, I'm a woman, I have breasts. I support breast cancer research…I do. I’m not saying we shouldn’t support a cure for it, but I'm also a mother watching her son fight for his life because of cancer. I’m not angry they’re donating to Breast Cancer Research. There are women I LOVE who have fought the monster. I don't take anything away from their fight. I’m happy they’re getting funding, that it’s saving lives…I’m happy they’ve made so much progress in curing it…I'm happy for the awareness that's everywhere. I've bought the pink items... I’m not saying we all shouldn’t support it.

What I AM saying is CHILDREN deserve the SAME AWARENESS AND SUPPORT!!!Read the fine print in Target's ad…”Dyson and Target will partner together to give $30 of each upright purchase and $10 of each hand vac purchase to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation- total donation $1.4 million…” It goes on…more #'s...I stopped there. I’m just so **** angry. What I’m angry about is…WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS??? It's an insult to these little heroes, that so few are recognizing what they go through, or too few care. Couldn't Target also proudly support THEM?Especially the timing of this ad. Could they have put the pink items on sale in OCTOBER, when it IS national BREAST cancer awareness month?This is the Weekend of CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS DAY, the MONTH OF SEPTEMBER…CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS...HELLOOOOO???? Is anyone aware??? We obviously aren't shouting it loud enough, and I’m frustrated.

*Each school day, 46 children are diagnosed with cancer.
*On the average 12,500 children and teens will be diagnosed with some form of cancer each year in this country.
*One in 330 children will develop cancer by age 20.
*Although the 5 year survival rate is steadily increasing, one quarter of children will die 5 years from the time of diagnosis.
*Cancer remains the #1 disease killer of America's children - more than Cystic Fibrosis, Muscular Dystrophy, Asthma and AIDS combined.
*In the U.S. almost 3,000 children do not survive cancer each year.
*Over the past two decades, only ONE new cancer drug has been approved for pediatric use.
*Currently there are between 30-40,000 children undergoing cancer treatment in the U.S.
*As a nation, we spend over $14 BILLION (that's with a B!!!) per year on the space program, but only $35 MILLION on Childhood Cancer Research each year.
*There are 15 children diagnosed with cancer for every one child diagnosed with pediatric AIDS. Yet, the U.S. invests approximately $595,000 for research per victim of pediatric AIDS and only $20,000 for each victim of childhood cancer.
*Research funds are scarce as most money is diverted to well-publicized adult forms of cancer, such as breast and prostate.
*Right now, this second, somewhere in America, there are 7 children fighting for their lives who won't live through the day."


Sweet Coleman's Cancer Fighting Face

Ooooo! And according to Mimi (and she knows what she's talking about!), Curesearch is the best place to donate money for childhood cancer. If you want to donate in Julian's name, HERE'S a link for you.



OK, so I was asked to give my 2 cents on back-to-school must haves for the website, TastyBaby.com. Here's the thing, all these moms gave their actual back-to-school ideas for actual, real products. And then there's my wisdom smart aleck comments. I just never learn.

Click HERE to see my review of Mr.Clean Magic Erasers and check back later this week because I have got some FANTASTIC (like $400 leather diaper bag fantastic!) giveaways coming up!

I'm Building an Ark

It's been raining all night and all day here. Every street that leads out of my neighborhood is closed because of flooding. I think I may have to start gathering animals 2 by 2. Of course, the flooding by me is nothing compared to the flooding, damage and destruction in the Turks and Caicos, Bahamas, Cuba, Haiti, and Texas.

No, those pictures are not of a lake. That's a street. Or it was anyway.

I'm not sure if THIS LINK will work or not, but it's pictures of Texas in the aftermath of Ike. It's pretty bad. Pray for those who have lost their homes and loved ones.

9-11

Remembering

Let the Learnin' Begin!

It was Open House at the grade school tonight. I went into Lexi's classroom, listened to her teacher talk, looked at the papers she'd written/drawn, and took the requisite peek in her desk. Lexi had a paper hanging on the wall that read, "I wish I was a cat because then I could go to the bathroom whenever I wanted." You know, as opposed to being a human since she can only go to the bathroom between 2:00 and 3:00 pm. I felt the need to explain to Lexi's teacher that she actually can use the bathroom whenever she wants to at home.

Then I went to Jackson's classroom. I took a peek in his desk and found half a dozen wrinkled papers just shoved in between his books. I started thumbing through them and found this...


Yes, it's Booger Boy.
There were also drawings of giant cannibal peanuts eating their peanut families.

That there is some prime time learnin' goin' on, folks. Brings a tear to my eye. Of course, I wasn't quite as proud as I was earlier today when Clay burped so loudly at the library that a ceiling tile crashed to the floor, the sprinklers were set off and no less than 5 librarians turned and stared at us in shock and disbelief. To Clay's credit, he didn't burst out laughing, but immediately apologized which confused me and made me wonder if the child standing next to me was really my kid or an alien replica.

Yep, it's going to be a fun school year.

The Condiment Food Group

Forget the soft food TMJ diet. I'm doing Brooklyn's diet.

For breakfast, she had 2 potato chips she found umm, somewhere.

For lunch, she had half a tortilla with melted butter and cinnamon.

For a snack, she smelled a banana and licked the peel.

This is what she had for dinner...

Yep, that's a straw in the empty ketchup bottle. Forget the burger, hold the bun, no cheese please. I'll just take the condiments thankyouverymuch.


Mmmm ketchup.

I remember stressing over stuff like this when I had 1 or 2 kids. Will they get sick if all they eat is ketchup and banana fumes? Should I call the doctor? How can I get them to eat a balanced diet? Somewhere along the line, however, my attitude changed. You want to go all day and eat nothing but a piece of cheese, 2 grapes (with no skin, of course), a teaspoon of milk and a cotton ball? Knock yourself out. Less cooking for me.

Preschool is Not All About the Cookies

I think I may have found an easy diet to follow. It's called the, "Damage your TMJ until it hurts so bad you cry when you chew" diet. My jaw had been hurting for a week, but I went to my dentist today when I realized that my teeth no longer touch on my right side when I close my mouth. It hurts!

I don't know what I did to injure my jaw to begin with. I don't clench my jaw or grind my teeth at night. In fact, my jaw feels better in the morning after resting it all night.

According to my dentist, a muscle in my jaw is damaged and the way to get it to heal, is by letting it rest. How do you rest your jaw though? You have to use it to talk and eat every day. So, he told me to follow a soft/not much chewing diet for the next 6-8 weeks.

Slimfast anyone? Carnation instant breakfast? Scrambled eggs and oatmeal for the next 2 months? Sounds DE-LISH.

I'm falling apart, I tell ya. Just falling apart.

Clay had his first day of preschool today. The older kids have been telling him about the fun things he'll do at preschool; namely the gingerbread hunt. They explained all about how they got to make gingerbread boys while they were in preschool. While the gingerbread boys were cooling, the kids went out to play and when they came back, the gingerbread boys had disappeared! The kids had to go on a hunt and follow the clues to find them.

They had talked about this ad nauseam and Clay was excited to begin preschool.

So today, we're in the classroom, just sitting there listening to the teachers talk. Clay turns to me and says, "When do we get to eat cookies?" He was under the impression that every day was gingerbread day in preschool. I told him that he wouldn't be eating cookies today. Deflated, he turned back to the teacher who wasn't saying anything of interest to Clay. He sat there a couple more minutes before turning to me and saying, "Well, this sucks."

I'm so proud.

I've posted the winner of the Zivio wireless headset on my review blog HERE.

Sunday Sound Out

Yay, you got some Dansko clogs!! Don't you just love them??? I didn't know they came in Flintstone!! LOL
Yep! They also come in patent leopard Flintstone!

Ok, I need to know where you got those shoes. They're so cute and they look absolutely comfy! Can you share?
Will I share my shoes? Nope. But I got 'em on eBay.

I can't believe the little monkey actually sleep with her eyes open! doe she always do that???
Pretty often. It's totally creepy!

What eventually happens if no one heeds to Brooklyn's tantrums?
The earth stops spinning?

Oooh! I love the look of the blanket you were crocheting. Any chance you might share the pattern?
Sure!
ch (multiple of 3 + 2 chs) loosely
ROW 1 (right side): (sc, 2 dc) in second ch from hook,
* skip next 2 chs, (sc, 2 dc) in next ch; repeat form * across to last 3 chs, sc in last ch
Loop a piece of yarn around any stitch to mark last row as right side.
ROW 2 Ch 1, turn; (sc, 2 dc) in first sc and in each sc across to last sc, sc in last sc.
Repeat row 2 until piece measures desired length.
It's super easy!

Is that a picture of you Dawn? Man does Brooklyn look a lot like you did.
Yep that was me and my grandma. I'd stayed with her while my parents were on vacation and when they came back and it was time to go, I held on to my grandma and didn't want to leave.

Okay so I'm just catching up and I noticed you mentioned a little something about library fines last week. A friend told me about a great website called libraryelf.com. You just select your local library, plug in your information, and it will send you reminder emails when you have stuff due. It's a great thing and has saved me from who knows how many fines over the past few months.
Awesome! Thank you for the tip! I signed up for the email reminders! Hear that Suburban Correspondent? <---click that link. She's hilarious! (She and I are working at financing new wings on our local libraries.) Nice job, Clay! Totally cracked me up... So after you saw the grandma knees what did you realize you needed to start with?
hiding the rubber bands

Dawn! Why on earth did you not get a video of Disco Bob?!?!? You get video of gorillas eating their boogers, but you can't get a video of a spazzing middle aged roller skate dancer? :-)
I know. I've disappointed my readers. :( Believe me, I wanted to. I tried to, in fact. But I was reprimanded for using a flash and was told I could only take pictures of the rink without a flash. Unfortunately it was too dark to get any good pictures/video. Oh and the guy was actually only about 21. That's somehow even sadder, don't you think?

Ok I totally forgot that Andy Gibb was in the video! Does that mean I have to admit to how many times I've watched it?!
I think you need to watch it one more time because Andy Gibb isn't in Xanadu.

ONJ is one of my all-time favorite singers. Barry Manilow is THE favorite for me. :) Are you a Fanilow?

SOOO many great answers! You might also say it's the stuff that comes out of my nose when I do the NETTI-POT, which I MADE A VIDEO OF today after our lunch and I will post SOON!
I'm SO not going to your site any time soon, Manic! Warning to all my readers, don't go visit Manic's site unless you want to see her washing snot from her nose!

question- have you moved to becauseisaidso.com? or is that on hold?
Ugh, there have been many factors holding up the launch of my new site. It's coming along, but it's not quite done yet. Soon...

I would love to see Mike Rowe spend a day with a mom. Now THAT'S a dirty job!
I've thought the same thing myself!

Question for Sunday Sound Out:How long does it take you to suck down a mai tai?
Well, as you can clearly see from these pictures, it takes me a long time. I just slowly nursed my drink along while everyone else was on their second one!

Manic, Lynn, Shawna (don't let the "gardening nude" scare you. She doesn't really garden in the nude. Well, maybe she does, but not on her website anyway. Check out her way cool Live Smarter project.), and I had lunch at Stir Crazy on Friday. We talked blogs and business. It was quite serious.


This must have been the part where we talked about whether Blogger or Word Press was better.


This was probably when we discussed marketing.


This is when we were laughing because our boobs were on the table debating the pros and cons of advertising on our sites.


Shawna's bowl - she understands the concept of getting your money's worth by piling it high with veggies.


Lynn's bowl. She eats like a bird.


Mmmmm, my yummy lunch. I love Stir Crazy!


Our cute waitress who put up with our goofiness business meeting.

Stand Up to Cancer

(Oops! I just realized I published the following post on my review blog by mistake last night. I guess I should've gone to bed instead of trying to write with my eyes half closed.)


Mimi texted me yesterday and asked if I'd watched Stand Up to Cancer on tv. Ugh, I missed it! I totally forgot about it. My son had a friend sleeping over and they were watching a video and I just didn't remember the show was on. She told me it was powerful and that they'd shown Julian's picture while Forest Whitaker read Mimi's words. I searched online to see if I could watch the show on my computer and found it HERE. So, if anyone else missed it and would like to see the show, you can click the link and watch. I have to say, I was ignorant and shocked when they said that 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will be diagnosed with cancer. ONE in THREE! So if you're sitting there with a person on each side of you, either you or one of those people will theoretically get cancer. One American dies from cancer every minute. Every minute! Scary, huh? Check out the link.

It's A...

OK, so I was suppose to announce the winner of the gross food find contest yesterday and I totally forgot. Sorry! The winner was Angela who was the first person to guess strawberry! Congratulations! Email me with your shipping address and I'll get the videos out to you. :)

Most of you guessed strawberry or other fruit. Several of you guessed gum, a few guessed hotdog or other meat. But I just had to share some of the more, um, "unusual" guesses I received.


I'd have said dracula's heart was left under the couch too long.
Don't be silly. Was there a wooden stake through it? Noooo.

It looks like a dead bird...

No, this is what a dead bird looks like. This guy flew into our door and dropped. Another reason for not cleaning your windows.

I know this may result in PETA writing me to complain, but it looks like a decomposed Rottweiler puppy head.

Thankfully I don't have a picture of this to compare, but I'm pretty sure a strawberry and a puppy head look nothing alike.

It actually looks like a rotten giant's tooth.

Just to clarify, do you mean the tooth of a rotten giant? Or a rotten tooth from a regular giant?

That looks horribly like a day-old chick that's had its head ripped off!

Oh my gosh what's wrong with you people?!?!?!

A portion of someone's colon or a strawberry.
No. This is a colon :

I'm guessing a half eaten peach(although it looks a bit like a alien cornish game hen.......)

Yes, no garden variety Cornish hens for us. Nope, we just eat the alien ones.

OMG! Is that a tooth on the lower right amongst the rabies foam?

Not unless someone's tooth fell out while eating the strawberry and got stuck in it in which case, I've got to scrounge up some money so the tooth fairy can pay a visit.

Oh this is easy. It's a 'speriment.

LOL!

maybe Malibu Ken's head?

Nope. Perhaps it's Prince Eric's though?

My 10 yr old said it was a puppy.

Close, but not quite.. actually, no it's not even close.

My 4 yr old said it was a puppy that was all bleeding and moldy under someone's couch bed.

OK, who let the 4 year old watch Cujo?

I think it's the heart that the woodsman cut out of a deer to fool the queen in Snow White.

And it got under my couch how?

Looks like the Thing That Ate Cincinnati.

Nah, it's not big enough.

The partially decomposed, and shrunken head of a capuchin monkey?

Hmmm, that's oddly specific. Not just any ole monkey, but the shrunken head of a Capuchin monkey.

Clay's appendix?

Now if you'd have guessed "tonsils" I might have questioned whether he'd managed to bring his tonsils home in a jar and leave them under the couch.

it's a wombat!!

LOL! We had another wombat last night. I took a picture of it. Looks rather like a cat, don't you think; a cat with freakish alien eyes.


it could be the remains of the head of a mutant miniture bear cub.

I might have agreed if you'd said "mutant full-size bear cub", but it clearly isn't a miniature bear cub.

Is that Anita Renfrow's thyroid?

LOL! I sure hope not!

It also looks like a headless dead mouse I found one time.

OK, what's with all the decapitations? I'm seriously beginning to wonder about my readers! Group therapy maybe?

The tongue of a rabid dog?

Well, at least it's not the head of a rabid dog this time.

Yeah...it's a strawberry morphing into a hamster head.

Can strawberries do that?

I'm guessing a dead slug. Something about the look of little sucker feet on the right side of the image.

Um yeah, those are SEEDS.

Whatever it was, I'd probably called a hazmat warning on it. *grin**picturing the fire dept coming into your house in their hazmat suits to safely encapsulate and remove the offending whatever-it-is*The kids would LOVE it!

Shhhh! Don't give them any ideas!

Ok, I was going to say a decapitated hamster head. Gross, I know...but that's what it looks like to me. And I was eating something. WAS being the operative word there.
I have a very strong stomach...I can't handle staring at it. If you can't handle puke I'm not sure how you cleaned this up.

I can handle this because:

A. It doesn't look like puke.

B. It doesn't sound like puke.

C. It doesn't smell like puke. And...

D. I didn't envision any decapitated heads when I saw it!

And finally there were several of these comments:

Oh gosh Dawn, just as I was coughing up a lung with asthma I clicked and saw your post. I did a double take (and almost lost my meal) because I thought it was a dead mouse head! Please, no more moldy food!!!!

I can't look at it long enough to make a guess. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth...

I am so creeped out by that picture I can't even explain the eebee jeebies (sound it out) that run down my spine every time I see that picture. I can't get that image out of my head, pahhhhleeeze tell me what it was in its former life b/c I seriously can't erase that picture from my brain-ICKO!

People, people, have you never seen Dirty Jobs? Or even just changed a nasty diaper where the contents have squished all up baby's back? A moldy strawberry is nothing in comparison.

Lost in Xanadu

So I took Jackson to a roller rink with some friends to celebrate his birthday. Yes, his birthday was last month. Yes, we had a birthday party for family weeks ago. It's a never-ending extravaganza.

Anyway, he and a couple friends went roller skating last night. Most everyone wore their inline skates. Except for a couple people on the rink who were wearing roller skates. You know - 4 wheels not in a line. I didn't even know they still made roller skates! Actually, maybe they don't. These looked like they might have been around since 1970. Anyway, this one guy, wearing roller skates of course, was doing some sort of, hmmm, I don't really know how to describe it. At first glance, I thought he was having a seizure in the middle of the rink. On second thought, I decided he wasn't actually in need of medical attention and was moving that way on purpose. OK, what on God's green earth is this guy doing? The chicken dance? Is he trying to march? Maybe it's the macarena? What the crap is he doing? Oh my gosh! He's dancing! I think he's trying to dance! Is he doing the... is that the... why, I think he's doing THE HUSTLE!

So Disco Bob (I named him Disco Bob. Catchy, isn't it?) is out there stayin' alive and I'm standing on the side lines trying to pay attention to Jackson and gang, but I'm somehow mesmerized by Disco Bob. What makes a grown person want to devote his free time to the lost art of roller disco? I was just waiting for some girl in leg warmers (perhaps Olivia Newton John) to join him.


Ahhh yes, Gene Kelly on skates again, a veritable circus sideshow in the middle of a roller ring complete with tight rope walkers, an Evil Knievel-like jump over a bunch of snazzily dressed skaters, Olivia Newton John blasting off to her home planet, and more big hair than my high school yearbook. What? It could happen. Just be thankful I didn't share the long version where she changes clothes like 24 times! That's 8 minutes and 3 seconds I'll never get back.

You'd think I'd have a point after all that. Hmmm, note to self: make sure your stories have a point in the future.

HERE'S a link to my review blog where I've got a couple giveaways and HERE'S a link to Michelle's blog where she's got a contest too! Check them out or I'll post the long version of the Xanadu grand finale!

Grandma Knees

HERE is my second video from 5 Minutes For Mom. Sheesh, I sound like I hate to get mail in this video. I don't! Really! I love to hear from my readers! I kinda sound like a jerk in this video though.

After you watch the interview, check out the rest of their site. Janice and Susan, the twin sisters who run 5 Minutes For Mom, have tons of awesome giveaways, helpful tips, information on writing, going green, special needs, and well, pretty much everything "parenting" under the sun! They've recently created a new feature over at 5 Minutes For Mom - Blogs Can Change Lives. They gave away an HP computer and printer to a family in need and loved the idea of helping others through the power of blogging, so they decided to make Blogs Can Change Lives an ongoing outreach at 5 Minutes For Mom.

Right now I'm in a "too much to do and not enough hours in the day" mood. I was sitting here feeling overwhelmed; not knowing where to start; wondering how I would ever get everything accomplished this month, when Clay slowly walked into the room saying, "I have grandma knees." I looked up to see Clay standing there with rubber bands on his knees. The skin within the rubber bands was all wrinkled up.

Leave it to Clay to lighten the mood and put things in perspective.

Remember, you can still check out my review blog for a chance to win a Batter Blaster, organic pancake and waffle batter in a can or a Zivio bluetooth hands-free headset.

Grandparent's Day

Does anyone know what September 7th is? It's National Granparent's Day! What a great time to say, "I love you grandma, grandpa, nana, papa, yia yia, papou, mawmawm pawpaw, granny, gramps!"

Do you know when and how the first Grandparent's Day came about? Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade, a housewife in Virginia, founded the holiday. After working with senior citizens for many years, she began her campaign to have a holiday to not only honor grandparents, but to bring attention to the needs of those in nursing homes.

President Jimmy Carter signed the proclamation on September 6, 1979 and the first Granparent's Day was celebrated. Marian McQuade is now 91. She's the mother of 15, the grandmother of 43, and the great-grandmother of 10! I bet she has quite the spectacular Grandparent's Day!

When I pick my kids up from school, it always amazes me how many grandparents are there picking up their grandkids. According AARP, 4.5 million children are being cared for by grandparents. It doesn't surprise me one bit.

Here's a cool resource for all grandparents! It's Grandparents.com. Yeah, the site's for grandparents, but there's a bunch of really cool stuff on there for parents too! The website is chock-full of ideas, tips, food, games, toys, activities, advice, and a message board so you can chat with other grandparents. If you sign up to get their newsletter (only takes an email address), you can get their guide, 100 Free Things To Do With Your Grandkids too.

So, here are a couple quick, easy, inexpensive, and fun ideas to help your kids celebrate their grandparents...

Give Grandma and Grandpa a picture of the grandkids in a personalized frame.

Or let older kids have fun decorating this stepping stone kit for Grandma and Grandpa.

Another inexpensive, fun thing the kids will love doing is decorating a shirt, apron, or tie. Just spread out a LOT of newspapers, dip the kids' hands into fabric paint and let them put their handprints on the shirt. You can fill it in with names and a title like, "Grandpa's fishing buddies" or Grandma's little angels".

Or have the kids write a story for their grandparents. You can help younger kids by asking them questions like, "What is Grandma's favorite food?", "How old is Grandpa?", or " What do Grandma and Grandpa like to do?" Then write the questions and answers on paper. This is always good for a laugh as little kids tend to come up with some pretty funny answers.

It's Alive!

This walked out from under my couch. I think it may be alive. Beware folks. It starts off innocently enough at first - a waffle left lying on the bookshelf, fries on the floor of your car, a rotten banana peel in a sock drawer, a slice of pizza in your son's safe, a moldy sandwich in your son's bed, spoiled chocolate milk in that same son's backpack. But soon you start finding stuff under the couch, on the ceiling fan, hiding in your bed, sleeping in the washing machine, marching across the tv. In no time your house is invaded with moldy, rotten food.

Any guesses as to it is was? The first person to guess correctly will win two Anita Renfroe DVDs: It's Probably Just my Thyroid, and William Tell Momisms, compliments of Luvs. I'll announce the winner on Thursday, September 4th.

Picture This

Yes, she looks like an innocent toddler sleeping peacefully; dreaming about coloring books, mac & cheese, and dolls. But don't be fooled. This toddler has ninja-like reflexes. Ever watchful; constantly aware of her siblings' whereabouts; poised for action, Brooklyn sleeps with her eyes open.


Brooklyn helped Savannah make cookies. See how much she helped?


About 5 pounds of flour = help


The blanket I was crocheting. I was going to auction it to raise money for childhood cancer (September is childhood cancer awareness month.)


What the blanket looks like now. I realized I'd made some big mistakes on the first 7 rows. I tried to pull out the stitches from the bottom. It didn't so much work. Oh well, I didn't have anything else to do. Grrr


Tired of waiting for dad to fix stuff around the house, Brooklyn got equipped to do it herself. Think she needs a tool belt?