Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Shopping 101

I have been doing a lot of shopping this week. It's the first time in a really long time that I've bought clothing for myself. For one thing, the kids have this habit of growing out of their clothes so my clothing budget generally goes to buying stuff for them. The other reason I haven't updated my wardrobe in a long time is because I hate trying on clothes. I mean, I used to like it. If, I mean when, I lose a couple hundred pounds, I'm sure I'll like it again. It's just a little depressing now. And is it really wrong to still have jelly shoes, leg warmers, and parachute pants hanging in your closet?

Anyway, I've noticed something these past few days while shopping; something that really needs to be brought to your attention. This is a serious matter. It seems as if there are some women out there who are unaware of proper shopping etiquette. Day after day, store after store I saw women making the same mistake - bringing their husbands, boyfriends, significant others along.

Outside dressings rooms in every store, were men leaning on clothes racks, downcast, defeated. These poor souls stood there laden with packages and purses, glazed expressions on their faces. Some had furrowed brows as they mentally tallied up the receipts their wives were accumulating. Some had a sort of meditation look on their faces as if by concentrating really, really hard, they might be able to telepathically get the score of the Cubs game. Others were simply thinking, "This is so not worth it. Maybe if we were at Victoria's Secret....nah, not even that is worth all this waiting. How long does it take to find what you need?"

Ladies, ladies, ladies, WHY? Why do you drag your husbands shopping with you? To get their opinions? They don't have opinions! They don't. What, you say your husband is wonderful and he always compliments you on your clothing? I'll let you in on a little secret. He's simply been trained and knows what to say so he won't be sleeping in the dog house. He doesn't really care if you buy the raw umber, the cinnamon, or the chocolate sweater. He doesn't even know what umber is and if you mention chocolate, he'll just remember that he's hungry and tired of shopping.

Do you take them along because you think it will be a fun bonding time for you two; a time for you to talk and interact and enjoy each other's company while looking for the perfect shoes? Men don't think this is fun! Know how men shop? They realize they need underwear when the elastic breaks on their last pair which has so many holes and skidmarks, it looks more like a dirty doily than underwear, so they run to the store, walk in past everything and everyone straight to the underwear section. They don't notice anything they pass; they're on a mission to get underwear. They grab a package with little attention to the brand, price, or even size and proceed to the nearest check-out. Ta Da. Done.

Men do not browse through racks. They do not hold clothes up to themselves while trying to get a feel for how it would look on them. Men do not admire mannequins (except maybe in Victoria's Secret) and wonder if they can pull off the same outfit. Men do not get excited about a BOGO sale. Men think BOGO is a clown with red hair. Do you hear me? Men do not like following their wives and girlfriends around while they shop!

Let's turn it around. Would you like to spend 4 hours in Home Depot while checking out plumbing equipment? Comparing horsepower on riding mowers? Drooling over cordless power tools? Of course you wouldn't! Stop torturing your men!

And really, dragging them along can't be enjoyable for you, can it? Do you like hearing, "Are you almost done?" repeatedly while they stare at their watches? Do you notice their spaced-out gazes as you ask them questions? They don't understand the thrill of finding the perfect shoes that were originally $120.oo and are now marked down to $75.00. You look at it like you just saved $45.00! Score! Your husband looks at it like you just spent $75.00 on shoes when you already have like 400 pairs in your closet. Yes, yes, I know they can be helpful holding your packages. This is true. But a good stroller does the same thing and strollers don't whine that they're missing the game.

I propose you bring your girlfriends with you. Or if you want a brutally honest opinion, bring your mother. Or mother-in-law! Heck, you don't really need to bring anyone with you, actually. Just step out of the dressing room and walk to the three-paneled mirrors in your dress. I guarantee if you ask another woman, "What do you think?" she will come up to you and exclaim, "Oooo I LOVE that! Are you going to a wedding? That looks wonderful on you! Oh, you should get it honey!" Can you imagine a man doing that? If a man walked out of the dressing room sporting a new pair of jeans and asked a perfect stranger, "Do these make my butt look big?" the other men would look at him as if he'd just sprouted another head as they slowly back away. Because men don't care what they look like. As long as their shirt passes the sniff test, they're good to go.

So please, for the love of all things on sale, do not continue to torture your husbands this way!

87 comments:

Ellen said...

Ohhh...mine SO is the opposite...he loves to shop and drags ME along. He even took me to Bed, Bath and Beyond to shop for a cook set.

StampingJoan said...

Dawn,
You have hit this one head on! I don't bring my husband and he wouldn't want to come! He say's the air in malls make him sick!!!

I shop for all of us! And I buy his underwear too!

I leave him home so he doesn't complain, see how much I'm spending, and 1/2 the time leave the stuff in the trunk til later! Then I say." I've had this a while!"

pam said...

Amen sister!!! LOVE it. You are so funny and everything you wrote in this post is so TRUE!

Anonymous said...

A - FREAKIN - MEN!!!!!

You said it, sister. Please do not make us go shopping!

You get it. Why don't other women get it? You could teach a course in "Understanding the Male species, 101".

Anonymous said...

YES,YES,YES! I wholeheartedly agree. I feel so bad for those poor guys when all they really want is to be somewhere, ANYwhere, else. Ladies, please, please, please, take Dawn's advice. Leave the men at home (this way they can even watch the kids while you're gone) and take your girlfriends, sister, or even daughter (!) with you. I promise, if your daughter is over the age of 4, she will wholeheartedly accompany you on such a venture. Just be prepared to hear even more brutally honest comments than you would from your mother, i.e., "Mommy, your butt looks huge in those pants!" :)

Sarah said...

I guess I've been blessed. My hubby is my best friend and almost always goes shopping with me. Granted, we live in Key West and there aren't a lot of shopping opportunities...Sears, KMart, Ross and Bealls. Thank goodness I'm not a shopaholic. But on the rare occasions that I shop, hubby comes along. He does his thing while I check out stuff I want to try on then when I'm ready he stations himself outside the dressing room to give me his opinion. I value his opinion...to a point. :)

By the way, my favorite store is Home Depot, I can spend hours there. I love a man that can appreciate me in 4 inch heels and still teach me to hang drywall.

I could never go shopping with my mother, everything would look awful in her opinion nor with my mother-in-law cause everything would look perfect on me. Going shopping with my hubby is perfect as long as I factor in the "perv" factor. My favorite people to go shopping with are my daugher and stepdaughter both 21 and my 18 year old son.

plainprecious said...

My husband actaully doesnt mind shopping especially if we dont have the kids with us.!!!

Kris said...

Just gotta say... um, yeah, I DO love hanging out at Home Depot! I go, Mike doesn't! But I also love to shop at other stores.

Apparently, though, we don't shop in the same types of stores. $75 for a pair of shoes? AYKM? I like my $22 WalMart babies... it's the math teacher in me -- but I can get 3 pair of shoes to your one and still have some moolah left for a Caramel Macchiato. It's all about quantity!

The person I love to shop with most is my sister. Every time we go shopping together, whether WalMart, Lowes, Staples, we laugh till we pee our pants -- I'm not kidding. We ALWAYS have people say to us, "You two are having too much fun!" Usually, that's followed by the ultra-annoying question, "Are you twins?"

Anyhoo... I think the three of us would be dangerous if we shopped together. I think someone might call the po-po on us!!!

Love ya!

Michaele said...

I'm a long time reader, first time poster. Let me start off by saying, I love your blog. It's boffo.

I actually don't think of taking my husband shopping with me as torture. Or at least I don't think he's being tortured any more than I am. I hate shopping. I think it strengthens our partnership to face the horror together. Then we go get an ice cream (beer), and everything's better. :-)

-M

P.S. My hubby thinks spending good money on really good shoes is a wise investment. Your feet get you where you need to go.

Shari said...

LOL--My husband loves to go shopping with me and he likes to look at every freeking thing I try on! LOL He tries to convince me everything LOOKS NICE when in actuality only one piece out of the 25 I have tried on looks OK. He needs a lesson in Fashion 101. Maybe I wouldn't get granny shirts and pants for Christmas anymore. :>

Cheri-Beri said...

I look at it this way. My husband doesn't ask me to go fishing or hunting and I don't ask him to go shopping with me. You don't have to be joined at the hip for everything to have a fulfilling relationship. If a man wants to go shopping, fine. But I have a feeling most men just give in because they're sick of hearing their wives/girlfriends whine and complain about it.

Anonymous said...

Best. Post. Ever!

So good that I actually left a message for the very first time.

Love you blog, Dawn. I read it everyday. And moan if you haven't posted anything!

The Father of Five said...

I shop with my wife because I enjoy spending time with her...

While all you say is true (especially about the underwear shopping), there are times I "endure" the shopping experience because I know how much my wife likes it, and I know how much I like my wife...

I tell you what though.. You hit the nail on the head with this post... I felt like you have been reading my mind!

Anonymous said...

ROTFLOL!!!
This is ever so true in my house. We now have a "system" because my husband would complain when I went out shopping without him and would complain if he came with me because I took so long. Now what we do is if we are going somewhere like the mall (where we can leave each other if the other gets bored). We say to each other " just asking but, would you like to come shopping with us"? (the girls and I). Then we know it means I am just asking to be nice but don't say yes.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

my husband does not shop... he told me this morning his clothes are shrinking... I had to turn my head and giggle then asked him if he woudl like me to go get him new clothes today ... he said no wait until tomorrow (as if something is going to change with his clothes) I will go to sears or home depot with my hubby simply because he is a quick drooler...gads that sounds bad... but he almost always with out fail has some tool in mind and will walk the isles scanning and filing in his brain the pertinant information then he looks at the price and decided usually in less than 30 minutes if this is actually what he is willing to pay then we are outta there!
our last tool purchase... infact the last three... I picked the tools on line gave him the specifications on them... went to sears and bought them and brought them home... he was happy all three times!

I LOVE my husband... I hate shopping but when I have to clothing shop I take my daughter and daughter in law with me... when it comes to them shopping for clothing I send them ALONE without ME. LOL.

Brandi said...

I'm in the same boat as Ellen (1st comment). My husband drags me into stores to shop and then makes me try the clothes on. Most of my clothes were purchased by my husband and given to me as gifts, or bought by my husband after he dragged me into a store. I do refrain from kicking and screaming, but I can't say that I never whine. I don't like shopping for clothes, shopping for shoes, or spending all that money that could be clothing or feeding the kids.

My mom used to drag me around when I was a kid/teen. Now, my husband does.

Anonymous said...

You go girl! Thanks!!! I want my husband to go with me but I hate shopping!!! Always have. He hates it too. LOL! My MIL likes to shop more than I do. I sometimes feel like one of those guys you mentioned when I shop with her. LOL!!! But on the other hand, she gives good advice and I have gotten some good stuff when shopping with her. ;)

Anita in Indiana

noexcuses said...

You nailed this one, Dawn! I am one of those fashion-challenged women, however. I leave the tags on while I parade around the house in front of my teenage girls. If they don't fall down laughing, I figure that I have made a decent choice.

Great post!

Anonymous said...

Mine doesn't like shopping for our son or me but doesn't mind shopping for himself. He loves going and trying on pants or browsing through shirts... I am the one sitting there bored then :)

Brenda said...

I NEVER take my husband shopping with me unless I absolutely have too. Yes. It might be time to clean out your closet.

Donna said...

Now is the time, sisters, to train your male children in the ways of shopping.....As a teen, I trained my brother and now I'd rather go shopping with he and my SIL.....he is honest about how something looks on us and if it is "current"....too bad they live 8 hours away......

Rana said...

Yup, I USED to LOVE shopping. Now, I'm too broke/overweight to enjoy it much. Hubby HATES shopping. He thinks we should go back to hankies and old phone books. LOL. As far as clothes go, if it doesn't come from Goodwill, it's not in his closet! I on the other hand, go window shopping, try on a few pretty things, put them all back and come home depressed because nobody makes clothes for a body like mine. Can't we have clothes that fit AND look pretty? Every few years I go out and try to update my clothes and fit in with that 'younger generation' and come home upset that I'm not 20 anymore!

Terry said...

I took my husband to Kohl's. He needed underwear. When we got in the car, I asked him what he got. He told me underwear. He had bought 2 pair of Jockey boxer briefs that cost $20! I think I will go back to buying his underwear. He apparently did not see the 7 pack of hanes for $5.99!! They do look nice on him though!

Sherry said...

You're absolutely right. And I don't torture my husband by dragging him shopping, I torture him another way - let him stay home with the kids while I take my time shopping. Not that I go shopping very often. I also hate clothes shopping but had to venture our recently due to an upcoming wedding - ugh. I didn't have a thing to wear. :)

ELAINE_MILLER said...

My husband doesn't mind shopping either, but I no longer try things on in the changing rooms, where some pervy security person (potentitally male) could be checking out my oversized bum through their overhead spy vision. I'm sure those cameras add at least 5lbs to each bum cheek anyway!!

Kris, what the heck is "boffo"? LOL!

SMC said...

Unfortunately this doesn't work for me. My husband absolutely hates to shop but then again hates the thought of me shopping by myself. (Not sure if he thinks I will spend our life savings or he thinks shopping is so horrible I shouldn't have to do it alone.) Well, I hate shopping too but when we need new clothes or Christmas is on its way or whatever the occassion may be, he insists on going with me and promises he won't complain. He doesn't verbally complain but he does make the faces. Which makes me feel like I have to hurry up and then don't get half of the stuff we need or don't look at half of the stuff I'd like to. Shopping has become a miserable experience for both of us so I now buy my clothes online.

Jennifer said...

haha I shop like a man when it comes to clothes. I go in with a purpose and if I don't find what I am looking for I leave within 10 mins. I don't take my guy with me into the store unless we're just roaming around the mall together, he goes to his store and I go to mine. He wants my opinion on his clothes more than i want his on mine. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn, My hubby say's that if men go out and buy new underware then he will look suspisous as if he is cheating. What ya think of that logic? Kristine in Michigan.

Karla with a K said...

HiLARious!!!
The only other truth about men and shopping is that they are as bad with directions IN a mall as they are at directions OUTSIDE the mall.

You're a riot!

Anonymous said...

Dawn,
My husband doesn't mind going shoopping, but he does care what I wear and how it fits. In the begining he cared more than I do. He is also the type that says can I have 30 bucks and when I say yes, says ok go get a manicure and a pedicure. He wants me to look nice and does not going shopping with me to give me thumbs on what I buy. I realize I am lucky that he cares and that most men do not care. If he ever didnt want to go, that would be fine, he would just send his mother with me, and the one time she did go that went well to even though she was very honest.

Anna said...

Haha, that’s really funny and for some wives I’m sure it’s true. My husband has and always will be the one who breaks every “man” mold out there ;) He’s a musician who tries on two shirts in the same size just in case one fits better than the other. We love to get someone to watch our kids and go shopping together…when we have the money ;) My husband always has an opinion and I highly value it. He’s a recording engineer and always dresses well. I find myself asking him if what I have on looks good all the time and he’s always honest. Really :) He has amazing and a tad expensive taste so we’ll mainly be found in an Express dressing room with both of us trying on clothes together, haha. I have to add that he’s not at all into sports and hates being outside even more than I do. As for Home Depot; we only go if we need something there which is rare but we both enjoy the excursion :) We’re actually best friends and love doing everything together and are rarely apart. Believe me; I thank God everyday that He knew just what I needed :)

Aemelia said...

Here Here!

I do take my husband grocery shopping though because he likes the cheap no bagger place and I don't like to bag my own groceries so he bags it all. It's actually more like he takes me. I make a list. When we had two toddlers he did all the shopping on his own.

And Sam's Club no way I would want to shop there without him to lift and carry.

He does like going to Bed Bath and Beyond.

Mummy McTavish said...

Nope, don't take the husband. Had to buy a dress for my bro's wedding. Had to take hubby along to one particular shop, no way around it. I told him straight out, "I will not be listening to your opinion. I dont want sexy, the reception is at my favourite resturant, I want something that has room for all that I'm going to eat!" He really didnt like my dress. I got so many great comments on it from other people. Recently I have had him with me and purchased two shirts, after a few wears I had a proper look in the mirror and realise they showed far too much boob and I had to explain if he picks clothes where he can see that much every other guy on the street can see it too!

Heather said...

I do agree with you in most cases, but believe it or not, I can't go clothes shopping without my DH. He is my personal shopper. I can't stand sales people hovering as that is DH's job. He finds me better clothes than I would pick out for myself. He has a good eye for colors and cut of clothes that look good on me. The excuse I can think of that made him this way is his mother is a seamstress and he has five sisters that he is close with.

Jennifer said...

This is funny. And I'm sure it's true for most. But my husband is in the minority I suppose. He says to me, "Let's go get you some clothes." And he takes ME shopping. I have very little fashion sense and he has tons. He goes through and picks out outfits - he'll put stuff together I'd have never considered, and it looks great! He'll hand me something I don't think I'll like, (something I wouldn't have tried on my own) and I'll put it on and love it! He sends me to the dressing room and makes me come out so he can see everything and makes his selections. Then he will keep bringing me stuff. I'm usually tired and ready to go long before he is. I would be wearing ugly clothes if it weren't for him. I'm a blessed gal!

Anonymous said...

Dawn - My husband is an architect, so he has an eye for detail, beauty and structure. He will be brutally honest, emphasis on brutally. If I don't look good, he will be the first to tell me. Not in a mean, snotty way, but just being truthful. I needed a dress for a wedding and it came down to two different dresses. Both were on sale for 60% off, so he said to buy them both. He's not an alien, I've checked.

He also likes to shop for himself. We can go into our favorite store and I can scope out items I like and try them on. I usually have to wait for him. He has to check every shirt on every rack. But this took years of training him and getting rid of all the hideous clothing of his past.

When I bring him grocery shopping, which is rare, it takes me twice as long to get through the store. He has to inspect every item that catches his eye. I have a list and a mission. Zip in. Zip out. Just like going to Wisconsin. (Stripes)

Karen

slack said...

Also, it makes me uncomfortable when somebody else's husband is just standing outside my dressing room waiting on his wife. I get a little creeped out...I didn't bring my hubby for a reason. I don't need somebody else's man to do his job of waiting, staring, judging my purchases.

Anonymous said...

Things are a bit opposite in my marriage. I HATE clothes shopping and my DH is okay with it. If I need to get something, I want to go by myself, so I can get in and get out. If DH needs something, he wants me to go with him to help him pick out clothes, etc. I am the one standing bored by the dressing room, holding the clothes for him. (By the way, I also have the same attitude if my mother/sister/etc. drags me to the store with them. I just hate it.)

Home Depot is another story. I could spend hours in there. I even love the way the store smells.

Mary G said...

My Darling Husband took the kids fishing last Sunday so that I could go buy khakis in peace. I love that man. My favorite shopping partner is definately either my friend Kacey or my Mother-in-law. My MIL has GREAT taste, and she is regularly talking me into buying things that I'm glad about later. She gives me a Talbot's gift card for Christmas every year and then helps me pick stuff out! It's great! Last spring I had hoarded all of my Christmas money AND my birthday money and we had a HUGE shopping spree. I haven't spent that much money in one day on clothing since I bought my Wedding dress!

I never take my DH with me. He hates to shop. I bought him a pair of khakis on Sunday b/c he needs some but it would be 6 months b4 he would get around to it!

AuntyM said...

I thought you might like to see this:
http://www.1funny.com/shopping.shtml

Men don't look around in stores; they go with a specific purchase in mind, and once the item/s is/are located, they are D-O-N-E. They don't even look to see what's on sale or on clearance.

Michelle said...

Ok...I pretty much agree. Men don't really care how big their butts look...unless they're gay.

Coma Girl said...

Your husband buys his own underwear??? Mine simply goes "I need underwear and it miraculously appears in his drawer in a few days.

car1224 said...

It was like reading about my husband! My husband owns his own business where he sees customers throughout the day and yesterday he wore his pajama shirt to work! No kidding. When I was completely horrified when he walked in the door, he was proud to tell me that nobody knew it was his pajamas. He didn't even think that maybe nobody wanted to ask? I tried to get through to him that it shouldn't matter what others know, it's what he knows, and that it's inappropriate, etc. -- yes, everything you would tell your child! I warned him that if I catch him doing something like that again, I will put his pajamas where he won't find him -- maybe the washer because I don't think he even knows we have one. Men are just tall boys!!

my3boys said...

I have seriously never understood this either. But once I was at Kohl's and this woman brought her boyfriend/husband/whatever IN THE DRESSING ROOM WITH HER! So he's sitting in there making loud comments that I can hear every single word of, and she was trying on............................................you guessed it.............................................bras. I was so appalled, I quit trying stuff on myself and high tailed it out of there. I mentioned it to the checkout lady and before I knew it, several security guys went racing in the direction of the dressing rooms.

Marla said...

My hubby hates to shop so he lets me do all the shopping, which includes getting him new clothes as well. The only time he's with me when I am shopping is when we are grocery shopping....it gives him a chance to look at electronics as we go to Walmart and/or Sam's together. We each have a cell phone we can call each other if we are done browsing or done with the shopping. Thank goodness for cell phones.

Denise ~ Paper Ponderings said...

Amen!!! My husband needs a new belt...and says, "I really need a new belt." This translates to, GO GET ME A NEW BELT and I'll hope it's the right color and that it goes around my waist without too much or too little.

Darla said...

I agree. My favorite shopping partner is my five year old daughter. Believe it or not she has great taste and will tell me when she doesn't like what I've tried on or she'll tell me, "Beautiful momma," when she does like it. And she's never been wrong!

Kymber said...

My husband has no fashion sense. In our 13 years of marriage, we never went to the mall together. I buy all the clothes, socks, underwear, etc. If he shops, he either gets something SO tacky or it doesn't fit right. I love to shop, and I prefer to go by myself. I can not shop with my mother!!! OMG! That would be torture to me!

Katrina in Ohio said...

Why do I take my husband shopping? Even though he doesn't really enjoy it? Two reasons..1. He has very good taste and 2. I always get more when he goes...lol. If I go alone, he sets a budget. If he goes, he always sees something that would look good on me or if I'm having trouble deciding, he says just get them both...lol! I scored a beautiful pair of Coach flats because he loved the way they looked on me. I'd never dream of spending that much for a pair of shoes, but he insisted. He's the same way with the kids, so they prefer it when he takes them shopping! Yes...he sits around acting bored, but I make sure to not complain if he wants to look at sports stuff or tools. If he has to suffer, then it's only fair that I do, too.

Destiney said...

I saw jellies in all kinds of sizes and colors at a local store in Kansas. Lots of stuff from the 80's-90's are coming back- leggins under shorts and skirt. Converse shoes, My mother always told me if yu hang on to it long enough it will be back in style. She gave my 12 a pair of plaid bellbottoms a few years back and gee she wore them and loved them (so did some of her friends). And definitly leave the man at home, they would tell you anything just to get out of the store.

Stephanie said...

Do you know my husband? You just described him to a tee. That was hilarious and soooo true!

Crazy Raven Productions said...

Hey! I had a wedding registry at Home Depot! I love power tools! In fact, I'd rather go shopping for tools than shoes or pants any day, just because tools are one size fits all and I don't have to find a 7 1/2 wide-width drill or a size 16-18 short pair of pliers. No matter which router I buy, it will not affect the perceived size of my ass.

SarahDragon said...

I think you're safe keeping the jelly shoes since I saw a rack of brand-new jelly shoes at Target the other day... I rubbed my eyes and shook my head a few times, but the display was still there, not a hallucination. And if you haven't noticed the hideous comeback that leg warmers are making yet, it's just not cold enough yet in Chicago...

The fashion horrors of my past really are returning to haunt me... I didn't even like 80's fashion back in the 80's... *shudder*

And some men are really just weird, like my husband who drags me over to the cosmetics section and tries to talk me into getting all sorts of crazy flourescent eye shadows and lime-green lipsticks... He has been known to swerve into the ladies clothing section while shopping at walmart just to take a few cell-phone photos and sending them to me with questions like what size or how he would like to see me in that... After 5 years I'm kind of used to it, but he's really more helpful than the store employees when it comes to locating alternate sizes : ) For Christmas he gets me... CLOTHES and I have to drop obvious hints if I want anything else...

Patois said...

Amen on the clothes shopping, but I'll happily spend four hours in Home Depot (well, Lowe's, actually) if the kids stay at home.

Carrie said...

My husband loves to shop. I hate to shop. He has even gone into Lane Bryant and shocked the sales lady there by asking for a specific type of bra...he does my shopping for me. I have no style,he does, yet he married me anyway. He is even more horrible about looking at clothes now that he has lost 250 pounds and can actually shop at Target, or for that matter, any normal sized clothing store. We go to Target to buy cat litter and pull ups and he has to detour to the back of the store to the men's department to try on stuff. I happily go along with him and share in his joy that he can wear stuff in "regular" sizes. As far as I am concerned, he can continue to do the shopping for the family.

Rick said...

Been there. Done that. She bought the t-shirt. (But she had to try on a couple of dozen before she did.)

Super Sub said...

I try not to take anyone with me. It's quiet. I can take my time. And I don't have to worry about other people.

If I want an opinion on something I DO ask a stranger. They will give you an honest answer. They don't have anything invested in you and don't care how you feel. If it looks good they'll tell you. If it doesn't they'll TELL you. It's great!

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

BOGO the Clown--love it!

My mom always said, "Reed, you'll NEVER GUESS how much money I saved you today!" Kinda took the sting out of it.

Anonymous said...

I hate shopping. Whenever I visit my parents, my dad wants to take me shopping and buy me something new, hint hint, I need to dress better. So I go with my dad, and I'm the one grumbling while he's patiently waiting outside the dressing room! The worst part is that it's usually right after Thanksgiving or some other over-eating occasion that he wants to take me out to try on clothes! He's great, though, and I really appreciate it. Last time, I did get a really good pair of jeans that I never would have bought myself.

candi said...

Mine doesn't even go to the store for underwear. He orders online.

Michelle Kemper Brownlow said...

You need a DIAPER WARNING on these posts!!!
I peed a little reading this ALOUD to my husband...b/c he didn't give birth he didn't pee but he LAUGHED ALOT!!!

Stressed Out said...

Dear GOD - taking your dh shopping is almost as bad as taking your 16-year-old son with you when you buy your 12 year-old daughter's first bra! People, people, people - isn't the whole GOAL of shopping is getting them home, in the closet, and on your body before he notices you brought home a bag from Christopher & Banks??? (This old thing - don't you remember seeing me in this before? Weren't you paying attention?)

Now personally, I LOOOOOOOVE mail order. There is no fluorescent lighting in my bedroom. No kids trying to pick up pins off the floor of my "dressing room." I can turn around and see my butt in my very own trifold mirror and don't have to venture out into the "common" area of the dressing rooms. I can grunt, and groan and squeal with horror (or delight) when something looks horrible / frightful / outlandish / fabulous - and no one's going to talk about me five aisles over once they leave their dressing room ("did you hear her?? I wonder what size SHE was trying on!") Lands' End, LL Bean, JC Penney, Coldwater Creek - all have generous return policies and you can order all you want (within your budget) and return what you don't want/doesn't work. (Ok - I'll go to Christopher & Banks and Lane Bryant just because I've gotten SUCH good feedback from their staff - and when I do, my husband is waiting in a dainty little chair, holding my purse, telling me that of course my butt doesn't really look that big!)

My Life in Sippy Cups said...

WOW! Great posting tonight! LOVE IT! I could not have said it any better!

A+ for this one!

JenH said...

I agree! Of course I don't like shopping most of the time either so I try to make it as quick as possible. My reason has nothing to do with the fact that I'm getting fat (although it doesn't help, lol) but I have ADHD and the noise of crowded stores makes me bonkers.

I have a pretty great situation that works out as the PERFECT solution though. My hubby works in retail and is in charge of all the stock for his store. So he has had to develop at least a slight eye for fashion to do his job. He also knows I'm going to shop from time to time (because as much as I hate shopping I LOVE clothes, lol) and spend his money. So he keeps his eyes open for things he knows I will like and will look nice on me that are going on clearance, hides my size in the back and then calls me. Lol. So I show up when he is still working so he has a perfect excuse not to hang around waiting for me. I try it on, make my decision, buy it, and then go home.

I'm also convinced this is how he keeps me from spending way more. Not just because the stuff is on clearance, but because he is giving me just enough to keep me from going on a shopping spree. I think if I didn't buy anything for long enough I would go nuts finally. But this way I get an item here and there and it keeps me happy. Everybody wins.

cashier said...

I have to disagree also. My husband loves to shop, can't get him out of the store until he has walked from one side to the other & front to back. And if we are clothes shopping I need to be prepared to try on several items. He loves to spoil me & I have to make sure he does buy to much. When I wanted to get new bras & underwear he went crazy. I ended up with more than I would have gotten for myself. And he does ask me how do these jeans look on me.

Kathy said...

My friends are 300 miles away, my mother died 16 years ago, and my 17 year old daughter does not want to shop with me, so occassionally my husband goes with me just to keep me company.

Essie said...

I was blog surfing and found your post- so funny and true to the last detail about the underwear. My DH had a few pair that got so nasty they got up and walked away.
What I love these days is shopping by MYSELF.

Kathy said...

We are living parallel lives! Minus three kids. I don't know how you do it and manage to still be FUNNY and interesting and as of my 2nd cup of coffee today,

YOU ARE MY IDOL!

You have my vote. And I approve this message.

Regina said...

You are absolutely right, as usual!
Once, my 19 year old son met up with me in the women's dept. after he was done shopping. He asked what size a I was looking for, and I said 16W. He dutifully looked through the racks, and then held up a blazer and said" here's a 16 WIDE!" He was very upset when I informed him that the W was for woman's, not wide.

Jessi said...

Lol! Oh how so very true! Poor guys.

Anonymous said...

ROFL!!!! SOOOOOO TRUE!!! Love it. Thanks for the laugh--just what I needed this afternoon! ;0)

Anonymous said...

Torture is the reason I TAKE my husband. Doesn't help around the house, leaves his dirty clothes everywhere, can't do dishes, ect. Well, a few hours going from store to store, and sometimes back to the first store once I realized a few others really aren't cheaper- and lugging around all of my purchases as well as forking over extra cash when I blew through my budget more quickly than I anticipated.. well, yes- that is why I drag his behind with me.

Vicki said...

That was a great post! Loved it!

Shellie said...

I agree. I don't want any kids along either, and I don't want a time limit on my shopping trip, which is why I NEVER get new clothes. When my bigger friends shrink something, they give it to me. BUT, when you grocery shop, look for a bag that is labeled Hormel Premium Real Crumbled Bacon with Picnic Bacon. No more frying bacon at my house, and the stuff has 50% less fat than pan fried bacon. I love, love, love the stuff!

Teapot said...

Thanks for saying something... some people I swear!
www.teapotparties.com
http://teapotparties.blogspot.com

Tracey said...

I take my hubs because I hate shopping and he likes to pick out my clothes. But then, I usually don't like what he picks out and we get in an argument.
I don't know why, but I never learn.
From now on, I'm shopping by myself.

Michelle said...

Unfortunately, I'm with you on not updating my wardrobe much. There's just no time sans husband and wee ones.

However, your dissertation did explain why my husband continues to wear navy pants and socks with black shoes. EVERY time.

Anonymous said...

I found someone more honest than a mother or mother-in-law to take shopping with you. It is a teen daughter. If I say that I don't like those shoes because they make me look old (aka frumpy) she says, "welllllllll..."

Okay, I am 41, but I don't have to dress like a grandma! I want to have a touch of sofistication in my wardrobe to downplay the frumpy base of clothes I have to draw from. Is it too dowdy to own 40 dingy t-shirts and 7 pairs of jeans that are wearing where your thighs rub together?

I found a link on you tube that pretty much summed up much of my mothering experience and though it is not related to shopping, I was sure you would get a kick out of it, and maybe even post it on your site. here is hte url.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CgIgHUd5sA

Happy day!
-Marit in Boise

Marit in Boise said...

Oh and this is my all time favorite "what to do while the wife shops" activity. A must see, and probably one your older kids would enjoy as well. LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDHp9C2KQAw

Yes, men do like shopping when they are like this guy.

ps, I LOVE home depot and lowes, more than jewelry and flowers anyday! But I know I am bizarre that way.

Tom said...

Thank you!! You'll save a few husbands out there with your wise tutelage.

Coffee Bean said...

This really made me chuckle!!! I actually hate shopping so my husband is a bit lucky. AND I have gotten in the most trouble spending money at Lowes (like Home Depot) than anywhere else. I love to walk around and smell the lumber... dig in bins for hardware... check out industrial cleaning supplies...

Yes, I am a freak.

Sharlyn said...

I learned very early in my marriage that my husband's idea of purgatory is more than five minutes in a grocery store. He was a puddle on the floor at six minutes. MUCH easier to leave him home and enjoy myself. Way to go Dawn, you got it!

Mitesh said...

Hi Dawn,

I have been reading yoru blog quite often but alas am guilty of not commenting (a grave sin in blog'world) and beg your pardon for that.

Anyways, this post hits the nail dead on its head. Its truest representation of our feelings and the way we shop. Kudos!!!

Saul Goode said...

Thank you now if I could just print this and leave it in a obvious place for my wife.

TheCocktailCafe said...

I simply LUV this post but have to say that my hubby loves shopping with me and often, I find that his critique is the most honest of all of my other girlfriends. I guess he became really great at shopping for the entire family since with all 3 of my children I spend the greater part of my pregnancy on bed-rest...Yawn!

So I depended on him for everything and secretly still do. I love to shop and as a mother and wife, I often find it hard, so I started my own little circle where we take looks that we like and recreate in in affordable department stores (esp. when they are sales).

still working on www.thecocktailcafe.com but hoping that you will continue writing awesome blogs like one. I loved it.

Tequitia said...

i'm totally there with you on not shopping for yourself regularly. i think i dress my kids better than myself. i walk around looking liking a pauper. And, i dislike shopping with my husband. he is constantly rushing me, totally ruining it! love you blog, btw!

TheHMC said...

First...I don't like clothes shopping either because of my weight. If it were't for my mother and Aunt blindly guessing and bringing me clothes for birthdays and Christmas(not to mention when they happen upon a good clearance sale), I would be living in nothing but the spousal unit's old MI t-shirts and pajama bottoms.

Now, in regards to taking your man shopping...I am SO with you. Good for all of those ladies that have hubbies that enjoy that kind of shopping, but mine doesn't like it. At tax return time, I took a day to go on a sale hunt, as I hadn't had the chance to in awhile with how tight finances have been. I immediately called my mom to go with me and then told hubby when and where she and I were going. His only request was that I buy him......you guessed it-underwear. And I found killer deals on the kind he likes because I searched to find a good price. He was proud of my find and admitted that he never would've looked the way I had. He went to get a pair of shoes once at Ross. He came home $200 later with shoes and 2 pair of the ugliest pants I've ever seen designed for a man. We can't even go grocery shopping together. He does the whole "Cool. Are we done now? Can we leave?" And we JUST walked into the store 3 minutes ago.

Leave the men at Ruby Tuesdays, let them eat and drink 'til they're merry, and then you not only have a drop off location for your bags(so you don't have to carry all of them the entire time), but he can make the necessary trips to put them in the car. Then you can drive him home, put him to bed, and bring in all of your new treats. Like those shoes. Or the 5 new shirts you bought your daughter even though she didn't NEED them...but they were marked doen from 15.99 to 2.50! Duh! You don't pass that up!

Like that yarn I bought last week even though I have boxes and boxes of yarn. 1.50 and .75 a skein? He can't appreciate that, but he'll thank me later when I don't have to pay twice that price when I DO need it. LOL I'm so great at justifying it to myself.

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