I have my 20 year class reunion coming up in October. You know what this means, right? I have 5 months to lose like 100 pounds.
I thought I'd be able to tell my fellow classmates, "Yes, I have a best selling book that came out this summer." Now I'm just going to have to say something cool like, "I have a blog", which is another way of saying, "I'm a great big computer dork."
I went to Classmates.com, looked at the list of fellow graduates and recognized like 5 names. Seriously, I swear I don't remember anyone. This realization was somehow disturbing to me. Did I have any friends in high school? I'm pretty sure I did. I remember hanging out with people after school and on weekends. I have all sorts of signatures in my yearbook. The thing is - I don't know who 90% of the signatures are from. The names are completely foreign. Have I just completely lost my mind? What is my deal?
Since I apparently don't remember a single person I went to high school with, why should I even go to the reunion. Who am I going to be reunited with? I don't have any old flames from high school that I'd love to see. There are no bullies with whom I'd like to get even. There are no popular kids I'd like to see all fat and lonely now. There are no outcasts to whom I need to apologize for making fun of. There doesn't really seem to be a point to going. I'm still best friends with my best friends from high school and we see each other on a regular basis. So, should I go to the reunion and walk around, staring at people's name tags and feigning recognition when they come up and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in 20 years! Remember me?"
Or worse yet, maybe no one will remember me! They'll talk to each other and ask, "Who's that loser in the corner? Do you remember her?"
I think the key to enjoying your high school reunion is making up stuff.
What are you doing these days, Dawn?
Well, I work for NASA.
Really? Wow, I'm surprised. Didn't you fail math like 3 years in a row?
So what are you doing with yourself now?
I'm in a circus. I train elephants.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a CIA agent.
What have you done with your life since high school?
I'm still trying to pass algebra 101.
I invented bubble wrap.
I'm dating Charlie Sheen.
I live in Punxsutawney. I'm in charge of feeding the groundhog.
I spent 12 years in Africa learning how to communicate with giraffes.
I have six kids.
That could make for an interesting night. Until people started comparing notes, at which point they might come to the conclusion that I'm insane. Although having the entire graduating class thinking I'm off my rocker would be worth seeing the perplexed looks on their faces when I tell them that I'm a rodeo clown.
Yep, I definitely think I'll be going to this event. If nothing else, it should provide me with blog material. But I promise I won't make Joe go with me. I imagine the only thing more boring than going to your class reunion is going to your spouse's class reunion.