Thursday, December 6, 2007

They're PENCILS!

I overslept today (shocking, I know) and got my kids to school late. I tried to find a parking spot so I could go into the office and sign the kids in. No dice. The school only has a handful of parking spaces for visitors and they're always taken by faculty and staff despite the fact that there's a half empty "staff only" lot. So I trudge into school, through the snow, across the street, dragging four kids with me.

Once in the office, Clay heads over to the cup of pencils that sits on an end table in the waiting area. This is his routine. Whenever we set foot in the office, he grabs the pencils and plays with them. When it's time to leave, he puts the pencils back and we go. So, today, he headed over to the pencils and picked them up at which point the secretary told him, in a very snotty way, "Put those down! You can't touch them. They're not for children!"

Seriously? A cup of PENCILS sitting on a low table in a SCHOOL isn't for children?! Who are they for? Do they pass them out to adults? Are they only for visiting dignitaries? Are they reserved for teachers? Are they just a priceless decoration to be admired and never touched? They're PENCILS, for crying out loud and my son was just holding them. Not stealing them. Not throwing them. Not sticking them up his nose.

I was already flustered because we'd all overslept and I was trying to get four kids ready in five minutes and my ADHD son was out of control and belligerent this morning, so when she went off on Clay for no reason, it really ticked me off. I mean, that kid gets himself into enough trouble on his own and didn't deserve to be reprimanded for touching some pencils!

Upon leaving, I looked at the principal and stated, in an out-of-control sort of way,"You know what would be really nice? If VISITOR spots were left open for VISITORS instead of being taken by staff every day!" This has bothered me for a long time, but since I know the secretary parks in a visitor spot every day and she'd just ticked me off, I retaliated in a burst of anger.

I'm mad at myself for losing it like that. I should have stopped and thought that maybe the secretary had had a bad morning herself. Maybe she'd just had to deal with a kid who wasn't behaving in class. Maybe she'd gotten a phone call with bad news before she left for school. Who knows. Anyway, I should have been the bigger person and instead, I was just as nasty as she'd been.

See? When someone is nasty to you, it's easy to turn around and act the same way to someone else. I didn't need to chew out the principal. It's much harder to turn around and be nice to someone despite the way we were treated. On the flip side, (like those Coke commercials I like) when you do something nice/good for someone else, it's pretty easy for that person to pass the kindness on to someone else.

You guys have passed a lot of kindness on to Julian and his family. I want to thank everyone for checking out Michelle's auction to benefit Julian. After I posted it on my blog, the hits on the auction jumped up by leaps and bounds. You guys are great!

I have really bad news though. I just got an email from Mimi. The results of Julian's tests today were awful. The cancer has spread through his brain and his spine. He only has weeks to live. They'll be meeting with hospice tomorrow. :*(

87 comments:

Anonymous said...

I cannot stop crying for Julian. I'm so very sad. I feel like a big baby and it's probably nothing like what Mimi is going through. How I wish it could all be better for Julian. My family has come to love Juju and his sweet family. I'm so glad that they had one more trip together. We must beat cancer. It cannot be allowed to claim one more child. Sweet, young Julian. My heart breaks again and again.

Tammy said...

I am so sad to hear about Julian's test results. I cannot imagine watching a child suffer and then lose the child. My heart and prayers go out to Julian's family.

Brenda Smith said...

Sorry to hear about Julian's results. Sorry to hear about your bad day.

Becky said...

Continued prayers for little Julian and his family.

A Moment in the Life of a Mother said...

I am so saddened by the news of Julian. I will be praying for this precious little boy. About the pencils and the visitor parking, don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we just can't help it and we say things that we would gladly retract. What's done, is done. Don't beat yourself up too badly. Maybe you could send this "nice" secretary and the priciple a bar of chocolate for repentance...lol. God bless.

Mhelvhyss said...

My heart aches for Julian and his family. I pray that the auction and the donations take flight, allowing the family to have as nice a Christmas as possible with this devistating news. As a new Mom, I can not imagine what they must be going through. I am a firm believer that the little ones that have trials like this, are such strong little spirits that they had passed their earthly test before they had even arrived. The moments that we have with them are for us to learn, grow, and revel in the few moments we have.
I pray that the lord will watch extra closely to Mimi and her family in the coming weeks.

Bubba's Sis said...

How very, very heartbreaking. Julian and his family are in my prayers.

My boys are Army Brats said...

Thank you for making your blog so meaningful. To add bits and pieces to help other people is so great.

Julians story breaks my heart and makes me so angry with myself for things I may have said or done to with my own children throughout the day that weren't always nice. I should have picked them up when they cried over the little scratch and I could have put my homework aside to read one more book with them. I can't imagine if I had to live knowing my days with them are numbered. And to think about all the time their daddy misses because of the Army. I'll kiss my boys and pull their blankets up tight and then pray with everything I have in me for Julian and his family.

manda said...

I can never find the right words when I want them - Julian and his family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Such a sweet looking wee man. There must be big plans for him somewhere else.

Lindsey said...

I am so sorry for Julian and his family, I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers. There just are no words...
Don't feel bad about the principal, next time yell at the secretary directly! I like "Excuse me, the only person allowed to talk to my children like that is me!"

Katrina said...

I'm so sorry to hear the news about Julian. My heart goes out to his family...it will be hardest for them. A child is a precious gift and this serves as a reminder that we should cherish ours because you never know what tomorrow will bring. May God Bless.

Sweetie, don't beat yourself up over a bad response or a bad day. We all have them and sometimes we slip. We are only human, after all.

Kristine said...

You could have fun, and the next time you see the secretary, actually apologize and be nice to her. She won't know what hit her.

That is so sad for Julian and his family. There are no words to express it. May he be relatively free from pain, and find joy in the short time he has left.

Rick said...

Very sorry to read about Julian. I am breathing a prayer for the whole family. There are four people in my family that have been hit with cancer in the last few years - including my wife. It is a very ugly thing.

Now regarding said School Secretary: I think all of us should be big - give us a name and number and we'll all be "big" all over her.

Don't mess with Clay.

AussieRodney said...

... but since I know the secretary parks in a visitor spot every day...

I disagree that you should feel bad about saying something. After all, you didn't have a go at her directly, did you? You just pointed out a deficiency in their system, and if the cap fits, .....

River said...

This is why my daughter changed her mind about becoming a doctor. She didn't want to EVER be the one breaking bad news to families.

plainprecious said...

As I sit here I cry. Through blinding tears I ty+pe this. That poor poor little boy. I can not imagine having to deal with the reality that my chilkd wilkl be leaving me. Several years ago my mother was diagnosed with an inoperable cancerous brain tumor. So I have somewhat of an understanding of what they are going through. I was with my dear sweet mother when the angels came to take her home. I am praying that when the time comes for baby Julian that my mother is one of the angels who comes for him. She will be gentle and kind and loving. God Bless that family and keep them strong. May they savour and enjoy every minute with their son. and may the Lord be with them and comfort them. I pray that Julian is pain free . May the Lord Bless and keep you close to HIS side. Elisabeth

peach said...

Thoughts and prayers for Julian and his family. Ditto to what everyone has said, Our lives are enriched by knowing about this young man.
as for pencils, you were much politer than me some smart remark would have popped out as soon as my jaw came up off the floor.
~peach~

Loth said...

Just awful to hear about Julian. I am not religious but he and his family are in my thoughts. I've left a donation and will be hugging my own boys a bit tighter tonight.

BarbJ said...

At the school where I teach, if a staff member parks in the designated visitor section one of the pricipals will actually come GET YOU out of class to move your vehicle! How do they know it's a staff vehicle? We are all required to have bright orange tags hanging from our mirrors, so that our vehicles are easily identified. And woe befall you if you do get pulled out to move your vehicle because you are in for a major butt chewing along the way!

As for the secretary, after 10+ years working in public school systems I am nearly convinced that school office secretaries are required to take courses in how to be mean to everyone who walks into the office except the principals!

Prayers for Julian and his family.

Robin said...

I hope your day got better. Don't be too hard on yourself for losing your cool...you ARE only human after all. So sorry to hear about Julian's test results. I'm fairly new to your blog but I've read a few things about him. It's very sad. I can't even imagine the pain that family is going through. My prayers will be for his family.
I'll also pray that you don't shove one of those pencils up the school secretary's nose! ; )

kimikki said...

I feel so bag for Julian's family. Parents aren't supposed to out-live their kids. How heartbreaking!
As for the nasty secretary, she should have left her personal issues outside the door. Don't give her chocolate, keep that for yourself. Give her a pack of pencils, unsharpened, unopened, pristine, so she may keep them all for herself and not be so nasty about the ones on the table.

The Hotfessional said...

Prayers for Julian.

Mabunny said...

Yeah Dawn,like my father always said, load brain before firing mouth:)) but I know how you feel, it happens to all of us.
I'm really sorry to hear of Juliens' test results and will keep him in my prayers.

Marcy

little.birdy said...

A) I'm kind of glad you said something to the principle, actually. Having the secretary park in a visitor's place on a routine basis would make the school look pretty bad to any actual visitors who come along.

B) I'm glad that Julian is getting hospice care. I've talked to people who have gotten it for loved ones and they said that hospice was a real blessing and make their loved ones last days comfortable for everyone. It is always tragic when a little one spirals downwards to a drawn-out end. Cancer is hell. God will be with him.

Anonymous said...

I have only been a reader for a very short while, however, I have prayed for Jullian since the first visit to this site and will continue to do so for him and his family.

My heart goes out to his mother and father and everyone (including all the readers) that this little guy has touched.

Never give up hope, stranger things have happened. I will still believe he can pull through, and won't give up on that hope.

heidi said...

I often wonder as adults why we treat children the way we do and why we worry about the things we do. They ARE just pencils and he is a little boy who was doing nothing wrong.

I am so sorry about Julian. I just watched my girlfriend lose her daughter to leukemia and it is something that just should not happen - but it does. I know that the Savior held them all and that is what I wish for your friend.

Melissa said...

Sorry you had an icky day! And I'm really sorry to hear the news of Julian.

suburbancorrespondent said...

Well, I'll be shallow and go back to the pencil incident. Don't feel too bad - maybe the secretary really hates children and had it coming to her. Though I hate myself when I stoop to someone else's level also. Maybe you should have said, in a really concerned voice, "Oh, are the pencils okay? We didn't mean to hurt them." Nah - that's passive aggressive. How about, "Yo! Lady! It's pencils, not the Hope diamond! Get a grip!" That would have been more honest.

Shari said...

I am so sorry to hear this news about Julian, I will pray for strength for this whole family!
It's too bad the secretary had to be a bag to your son, but she truly had no right to chew out your son that way she could have nicely told him to please not touch! I have the same problem you do with school parking and the staff! Oh well soon they will be on vacation YES!

Candi said...

As a mother who has had to bury one of her children, my heart goes out to Julian and his family. They will be in my prayers continually.
As a mom who has had to fight the system now and then - Bravo, Dawn! I see your response to the principal as a moment of truth, not weakness. You went to the policy maker instead of the peon who simply takes advantage of what's allowed. Again - Bravo!

Michelle said...

Oh Dawn, I am so very sorry.

Having watched as a loved one died of cancer, I cannot bear the thought that this is happening to a little boy.

Please pass on to Mimi that Julian and her whole family are in our prayers.

Kath said...

First I must say that I agree that maybe you should not have reacted the way you did because of that secretary --- but what surprises me, or pisses me off is the people that choose to work with children and shouldn't. I have the most respect for teachers, I think it is the hardest job in the world, but some people just should not be doing it!
I am so sorry to hear about Julian, He and his family are in my prayers.

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

That poor little boy, having to go through so much in such a short time span. It's really heartbreaking, can't even fathem what his family is going through. Our prayers are with them all, especially Julian.

Don't be so hard on yourself, Dawn. We all have bad days like that, you're human! Besides, while it may have been inconvenient for you to trudge through the snow with four little ones, imagine what it would be like for someone who is handicapped? Those parking spots are there for a reason, and it's inconsiderate for school employees to park there just because it's easier for them. You may have said that in a moment of anger, but it needed to be said anyhow. Good for you for having the courage to do so.

Kyddryn said...

Perhaps the secretary and principle will both chalk up your outburst to a very rough morning, too. They deal with parents all day long, and I'm sure more than one of them is irate about something and lets that ire flow freely.

Poor Julian. Poor Mimi. My heart aches for them. Love and light to them,and hopes for a miracle. Smaller wonders have happened. Every time I lose my temper with my son, I remind him (and myself)that, even when I am angry with what he's done, I still love him. Every day I tell him "I'll never stop loving you, not matter what you do or where I am. That's what mommies do."

Words fail.

teacher in az said...

I feel terrible for Julian and his family. It's got to be horrible to deal with that kind of illness. They are in our prayers. God can heal so there is hope...doctors don't know everything.
As for the pencils, I understand...kind of. I've worked in a school for six years. As a teacher, I keep a stash of pencils for me and a stash for the kids. They are different brands so they don't mix. Basically, I use my own to avoid their germs because kids are known to put their fingers in there nose and who knows where else. I bleach their pencils at lunch and after school every day to cut down on germs, but I just feel more comfortable with my own. I allow the kids to use their own as well if they don't want to use the shared ones. With MRSA and whatever else is out there, people are scared.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn, I am feeling so bad for that sweet little boy and his family. I can't imagine what they are going through. In these last few months I have lost 4 people close to me. My Grandfather passed away, My dear male friend died of pancreotic cancer, My other dear male friend died in a motorcycle accident and I had to put my 13 year old Dalmation to rest. I am still grieving and will for along time I suppose. My prayers are with Everyone! Kristine in Michigan

Mich said...

:( That's devastating news about little Julian. I'm so sory for him and his family. My thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family. I don't know what else to say.

And I don't blame you for speaking up about the parking spaces. Someone needed to say something eventually.

Celticspirit said...

While I read your blog regularly I have never commented before. I do want to say I've been following the Julian story. I have a 5 yr. old grandson named Julian and just want you to know I'll be praying for *your* Julian and his family.

billyfrog said...

How sad about Julian! I am in tears at work. Hugs to Mimi and the whole family. I wish I could make it better. Cancer sucks and we need to find a cure.

Tech Like Me said...

Hell, I am so sorry to hear about Julian.

Every time you wrote about him I was hoping that he'd be able to pull through this.

It is always tragic to hear about situations like these and I hope that your friends are able to pull through this with grace and dignity and that the time they have left together are filled with good memories.

My thoughts and condolences are with you and Mimi.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog for quite some time and you always have something that helps me get through my days! You are wonderful. I have to share that when my 3 year old daughter and myself were visiting my son's school, my daughter pushed on the handicapped button on the door that automatically opens the door for her.. She loves doing this. well, as the same time, a school personnel walked out the same time and said..those are not for kids..dont touch them... Excuse me, she is 3, she cannot open the door by herself, she finds enjoyment in the door "magically opening" Is it really hurting anything or anyone by doing this? unlike you, i bit my tongue that day and held my anger in but now wished i would have said something..

My prayers to Julian and his family.

Rayven said...

I'm so sorry about Julian.

And as far as your outburst, you're a better person than me. I would have caused a scene with she yelled at my kid about the pencils to begin with.

I made a choice (bad, I know) about 5 yrs ago that I was sick of being the "better person" when confronted with rudeness. Now my motto is "tit for tat".

Anonymous said...

Dawn...

If that secretary said what she did IN FRONT of a parent, then tell me...What might she be saying to children in those parents' absence? I shudder to think!

We teach our kids to be respectful to everyone by our own example. Then these HORRIBLE examples present themselves in authoritative roles...mixed messages...confusion...especially for ADHD kids. (I'm second out of three generations dx'd in our family, so I KNOW of which I speak!)

After things have calmed down a bit, it might be a good idea to meet with the principal and report Miss Thing's disrespectful attitude, setting out "tempting" items around small children, AND either show him date-stamped photos or ask him to follow you to the parking lot to SHOW him her car illegally parked...perhaps adding that, if nothing changes, you will continue to photograph her car and forward those pics to the Board of Education.

During both my daughters' public school days, I never ran into a bad school secretary...always helpful, courteous, and nice to the kids! This secretary needs to be working in a PRISON, not a school setting!

The principal cannot effectively supervise his staff without DIRECT information.

Julian has certainly fought a good fight! If not a miracle cure, may God grant him (and his family) a peaceful passing into heaven where there is no more heartache, pain and suffering!

Sincerely,

Nancy Binky

Dono said...

Miss Dawn,
God given, are the feelings you express whether with the Secretary or about poor little Julian. Even the best of the best of us have given vent to outrage (moneychangers?). The best of the best of us also show compassion.

As you have done both recently, you are amongst good enough company, I think.

Please, try to feel no embarrassment for the tiff with the Principle. Bring him a small note and a big cookie next time. Bring a stash of #2 pencils and see that the Secretary gets to deliver both.

:-D

Prayers go out to Julian's family.

How are their funds doing?

Tracy said...

I am very truly sorry to hear the devastating news about Julian. Cancer is awful, but cancer in children is just utterly wrong.
My neice is also suffering from a brain tumor. My heart breaks every day. Prayers ti Mimi, Julian, and their family.

Grandmother Goddess of the Garden said...

Dawn,

I doubt the school secretary was as reflective about her outburst as you were. I work at our local library and am in charge of Children's Programming...when I know my bad attitude can affect others, I call in "sick". I learned several years ago that I can choose my attitude...and I can choose to make it a good one. It's become my daily mantra.
As for Julian and his family...they've taught us all more, through you, how to live and love, and for that I am grateful. Hospice is a wonderful thing. I worked for the San Diego Hospice many years ago and it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Julian is at the end of his journey called life and this team of caregivers will help both Julian and his family at this most difficult time. I will continue to send peaceful thoughts and prayers their way.

Jenni Schmitt said...

So sorry to hear about Julian's test results. My heart is breaking for him and his family. I will keep them close in thought and prayer. Hospice will be of great comfort to them (they were for us). Hugs.

Jen

Ashley Menza said...

It was a year ago Wednesday that I lost my best friend to Melanoma cancer. And she was only 22.
I know what it feels like, and there isn't any greater pain.
I'm going to pray for Julian and his family.

God can do amazing things!

Lisa M said...

First off, they are the professionals. They need to run the office professionally. Period. And that includes parking spots out front.

And so sorry to hear about Julian. I am a total stranger, but I am a Mom and it breaks my heart to hear this. I will say a prayer for him and his family.

Angie said...

We have cancer in our lives. My husband has a serious brain tumor and we have two young boys. My sister-in-law has beaten two bouts of breast cancer and my father in law has beaten Melanoma. Cancer tries to suck you dry and often times it works. I will pray for Julian's family - my worst fear.

About your episode in the principal's office. Cancer has changed our perspective in so many ways, but I still get ticked at the "little things" every so often. For instance, when cars cut ahead in the left lane even though the signs are clearly marking LEFT LANE CLOSED AHEAD, it used to bug me to no end. One day, my brother-in-law who was simultaneously going through what we were going through with his wife's cancer said about this topic. "I don't get mad at that stuff. I just think, 'give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they have a medical emergency or a child emergency.'" I let them in because if I had an emergency with Cheryl, I would hope someone would be as gracious and non-condemning with me." WOW! Now when that happens and STREAMS of cars are passing on the left when I am patiently waiting in the right lane that doesn't move and the sign says LEFT LANE ENDS, I think, "wow, there sure are a lot of emergencies today." Sometimes I think it VERY SARCASTICALLY, though!
Angie
KEEP BELIEVING

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog daily since someone sent me the ebay auction over the summer. I am a queer activist mama of three and I babysit 4 other kids full time. We are not so different, which is why I read your blog. We have many of the same ideas about parenting and life and I look forward to reading your book (which I will have to get from the library because I can't afford to buy books!). I felt compelled to write because the Golden Compass book (and the entire trilogy) by Phillip Pullman is one of my all time favorites and I strongly feel that you should read it before suggesting an all out ban on it. Or the movie, or whatever. It's weird to be so in sync with a total stranger for so long and then have this glaring somewhat shocking reminder that maybe we are, in fact, too different after all. If your opinions on the film are any indication you probably think I'm some crazy homo sinner anyways so maybe it's for the best. So I guess we're breaking up. Sad, but thanks for the laughs.

zabadu said...

I'm so sorry for Julian and his family.

As for the "pencil incident", the secretary is lucky it wasn't me she made that comment near. I'd have given her a thing or two to think about. And she probably would have been wearing a pencil or two when I was done!

So, in retrospect, it was a good thing you were there and I wasn't!

Stephanie said...

I'm really sorry that secretary was snotty. She sounds like the attendance clerk at the school where I teach. When she found out that I'm expecting my 3rd, she actually looked at me and said, "You do know they make stuff to prevent that!" She was being serious. If I would have been on my toes I would have said something like, "I'm Catholic, I have a long way to go to reach a dozen!" She only has one, maybe being a mom isn't her thing.

About the parking...at our school, there are strict rules to leave the street open to the parents and our lots often get full with all the eager-beaver student teachers and interns. It frustrates me since I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant, the faculty lot if for FACULTY!

And I'm sorry for Julian. A friend just got the same news about her 10 year old cousin. It's heart-wrenching.

The New Mom on the Blog said...

you never know! Julian's family should keep the faith.

That was what the doc said to my mom when she had cancer for the first time.

guess what? she was cured and had relapse and got cured again and had relapse again for 3 times in total.

yes, she has passed away, but completely not related to the cancer at all. She fell and had head concusion.

so again, I'll be praying for miracles, yes, I believe they do happen!

Kit said...

I've been following your blog for some time now. You always bring a smile to my day, reminding me that I'm not alone in this adventurous job of raising kids. You can get to know me better by reading my blog at proud-mama.blogspot.com. I'm a christian mother of two boys and one grown man :) my loving husband. thank you for putting the time into your blog. I'm blessed by your stories everyday. thank you for your compassion for julian and for spreading the word to pray. i've told the "prayer warriors" in my life about his situation, believing that God is the Comforter. Bless you and your family!!! ~Kit

Nicki said...

It takes a big person to admit when they are in the wrong. Good for you! I have to admit that I may have very well done the same thing. Thank you for a reminder of kindness. I am really sorry to hear about Julian.

Lauren said...

Hi Dawn - Im a social worker for Hospice. I wish Julian's family had been with Hospice long before now only because they help even children who arent terminal...but Im so sad that he has to go to Hospice for a terminal condition. I love my job. I love the precious children and adults. I love meeting them. I just hate saying goodbye but hopefully during the darkest days, Hospice will provide some hope for Julian and his family and make this next journey as peaceful as possible. Julian is my prayers as well as his family. Peace, Lauren

Susie said...

I'm praying for Julian and Mimi-that is devasting news. May God be with them and the rest of their family this Christmas. Thank you Dawn for sharing.

Good job speaking up to the principal. As a former teacher, I know first hand how nasty some secretaries can be--and she must really be having a bad day if she had to pick on your little son to make herself feel better.
Wouldn't it be funny to donate cases of pencils to the school?

Brenda said...

I am so sorry to hear about Julian. I hope they can keep him comfortable and find some way to cherish these last days. As for your day, we all have moments we are not proud of. We have never met you but can tell that that is not who you normally are. The principal has met you so I am sure she realizes that even more. If you are feeling bad, buy some donuts for the breakroom and wish them a Merry Christmas. Write the principal a note and tell her you are sorry for the way you delivered your message but that you do really feel it is a problem. There free advice from someone who is clueless most of the time ; )

Tonya said...

I am so sorry for Julian and his family. I have lost a child myself at 13 months of age so I know what she is going through. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

If I were you I would have told that secretary off!! What you said I consider nice.

Anonymous said...

i am so sorry for julian. my heart and prayers go out to him and his family.

Anonymous said...

God bless you and Julian and his family. I will keep you all in prayer.
I would probably follow up with a phone call to the Principal explaining what set you off that day (about the rude secretary with the pencils within reach of children, her constant parking where she ought not to park, and an apology for taking it all out on him -- tell him about Julian too, that may help him to understand your frame of mind and tardiness.) Hopefully he's a praying man and will join in on the prayers.
I also think it was very kind of you to give that secretary such a big benefit of the doubt about what her frame of mind may have been that day, but...taking it out on a child is really ridiclous and mean. It's a good thing she'll soon be getting a Christmas break, sounds like she needs one!!

momteachread said...

I will pray for strength for Julian and his family. What terrible news for them or any family.

As a teacher who has worked in 6 schools in the past 20 years, I can tell you that school secretaries come in only 2 "flavors"- super sweet and extremely bitter. I am lucky to work with 5 of the sweet variety at my school, but my daughters' school has an extra bitter one. She also acts differently when the principals walk in to the room. I think we, as parents, need to alert the principals to their behaviors when they are directed toward children. So often children don't have an adult with them when they go into the office on an errand, and they shouldn't have to fear the treatment they will receive. (just my little soap box issue)

Deb in OPKS said...

My day was starting off emotional anyway when I read about julian and his family. It broke my heart to hear their news. Tonight I had to go to church because it is a Holy Day of Obligation. I didn't want to go and truly went out of guilt. But the moment I got there I felt peace and was so glad I went. I dedicated my Mass to Julian and his family and hope it will bring some small amount of peace to them during this difficult time.

As for the pencils: A couple weeks ago we came home from somewhere and I had my hands full. I was kicking on the door to get my daughter to open it. I was frustrated for some reason, can't remember why now, but I get mad because they all disperse when you need them. Anyway, I kicked the door so hard that I rattled the wall and knocked one of my Willow Angels off a shelf busting off her head. Guess which one it was. My serenity angel. SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW! At least you didn't knock the secretary's head off. I'm sure you wanted to. Hope this helps. Gotta get myself another angel. Obviously, I need it.

WendyK said...

We entered this world of childhood cancer almost one year ago with our 19 month old, and it breaks my heart to see a brave warrior close to the end of his battle. He is such a strong little boy. My heart breaks for Julian and his family, I had to read the CB entry twice before I really believed what I read. Prayers and cyberhugs to JuJu and his family.

Cheryl said...

Well, sure, you could have been the bigger person and repayed the secretary's snippy attitude with kindness. But hey, you can't be perfect all the time! I'm sure if it had been me, I wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to tell her what she could do with her precious pencils!

Hugs and prayers to Julian and his family. I'm so sorry that little children have to suffer with cancer or any other serious illness. It just seems so unfair. I'm praying for a miracle.

papersunshine said...

I read about Julian since I now get updates, I have cried, prayed, donated money and just feel so overwhelmed but faith that God's heart is always in the right place.

As for your snapping at the principal, yes it was not the best way to handle everything but you are human and God's grace isn't! Even Christian Moms have those moments, I know that for sure!

cheripiez67 said...

my heart goes out to julian's family

Elaine said...

Dear Dawn,
Thank you so much for telling us about Julian and his family! It's just so unfair and I am so sorry to hear this news.
Thank you for caring about him and his family.
I will be praying for him and his family and friends.
God bless,
Elaine

Lisa-Anne said...

Ya just know that someone is going to *tell* on you to the secretary for writing about this, don't you? Praying you don't get called into the Principals office! :)I agree that you shouldn't beat yourself up, I think under the circumstances you likely showed more grace than you felt at the moment, but I'll pray that God goes ahead of you and smooths the way for you to be on good terms with that secretary (and she with you!) in the future.
You're awesome, Dawn, you're doing a great job, and your Father is delighted with you! :)

Daun Ann said...

I am torn at hearing about Julian's results. Am SO GLAD that he got to go to Disney (after the short stay in hospital) and enjoy being a kid.

May the Goddess watch over him and keep him comfortable until it is time for her to wrap her arms around him and gently take him home so he can do what he needs to do.

Dawn, thank you for bringing his story to MILLION'S of people.

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Julian. My friend just heard days ago that her son's cancer has returned. His bone marrow transplant was their last hope. What an awful disease. My thoughts and prayers are with Mimi, Julian, and their family.

Hoffman Family said...

So sorry to hear about Julian's test results. We will keep them all in our prayers. Thanks for keeping us updated.

Just-Me-Jen said...

My heart goes out to Julian and his family. I cannot even begin to imagine what that must be like.

As for the secretary, don't knock yourself - it was your "mama bear" coming out, because she snapped at your baby without cause. I have been a secretary at a school (now I'm the computer operator), and I can tell you that no matter how bad a day I'd had, I never ever would have taken it out on a child. And the principal does need to be aware that his staff is taking up the visitor spots - we have the same issue at my school...

Anonymous said...

I just want to say how much I enjoy reading your blog. I never miss a day. I do have a question, I have more then one child who enjoys computer time. How do you make the time fair for each child? From the time my boys get up to the time they go to bed they fight over the laptop. My younger one is home more since hes only in preschool and is on it more. I just want less fighting over the time they are on it and could use some ideas. Thankyou.

Anonymous said...

I feel like you wrote this story for me. I'm the crazy mom who went off on Grandpa Grumpy Pants at the groucery store last week. Are you trying to send me a message?? If so I hear you lound n clear. Roger that Capt. Boy, the Lord works in mysterious ways sometimes!!
Still praying for lil Jullian and his family. Sending them comfort and peace durring this very hard time.
Thanks Again for your thoughts...I enjoy your "company" :)

Isabel

fourmonsters said...

My prayers go out to Julian and his family. Our small rural town has a little guy (3yrs old) who has been battling cancer over the last year. It is wonderful how our community rallies around the family. Cummunity, friend and family support is so important. But it just breaks my heart that a child should ever suffer!! I was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years ago and people always commented on my positive outlook and I would tell them,"I'm happy because it could have been one of my children and it is not so I have a lot of joy and thankfulness regardless of my condition" When my little friend received his diagnosis, I cried harder than ever (as I did when I learned of Julian and his fight). I just do not understand how a child so young can have aggressive cancer cells. Adults I understand, we have had longer exposer to the enviroment/products and all of the toxins. I am told that God has a plan for all of us, and I have faith, but will never understand why a child suffers. My prayers go out to all the children. We have to cherish our children and thank God for each and every day we are blessed with their presence.
Julian, I pray for your recovery and that God comforts you and your family. You are loved the world around!! Keep up the great fight!
Dawn, I thank God for your blog and your wisdom for using it for the better good by reaching our to the world and connecting us together for the wonderful causes that need our support. And thank you for the laughter we all need so badly, you really lighten and enlighten my day. :o)

Kathy said...

I'm so sorry for Julian and his family! My thoughts and prayers go out to them.

www.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com

Elaina said...

I am in tears after reading about Julian. I cannot believe it. I am so sorry.

Emily said...

I have been reading your blog for a few months now and have never left a comment, for i know that you are extremely plowed by them. But I wanted to say how sad I am for Julian and his family, I hope that Hospice is able to keep him as comfortable as they can, and I will continue to pray for him.

Anonymous said...

Prayers for Juilian's family. My very wise cousin told me last year ( when her daughter passed away) that prayers hold our head up when we are unable to do it ourselves.

In the other note-I would like to tell that secretary where to put those pencils. I have 3 kids under 4 in car seats and I appreciate being able to use visitors and parents stalls. I too voice my opinion to those who misuse those stalls without thinking of others who could really use them- I dont feel bad for saying so and neither should you.

Anonymous said...

My heart is breaking for Julian and his family. I pray that his last weeks can be as comfortable as possible and he has some special time with his family during the holidays.
Thank you for keeping us updated.

ShellyQ said...

I received this in an email; I don't know where it originated from wanted to share. I hope it's ok. I know it's pretty long.

My heart goes out to Julian & his family my thoughts & prayers are w/you, Julian & his family.

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough".

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".

Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?".

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said, 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.

TAKE TIME TO LIVE.....

I WISH YOU ENOUGH

Big Pumpkin said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Julian. Prayers for his whole family and him and may a miracle dawn upon him to pull through.

Blessings....
www.mamapumpkin.com

Heather N. said...

So sad about Julian. I was curious if they had contacted the non-profit "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" They provide beautiful photography for the family to cherish forever free of charge. Their website is www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org There is also The American Child Photographers Charity Guild www.acpcg.com that provides the same services to families going through a loss like this.

I'll be praying for them.

Heather N.

AmandaB in NM said...

there is a lump in my throat and i am letting my four year old little guy hop up and down on the couch all he wants to right now. I don't think I could stop him if I wanted to. I wish Mimi could watch Julian jump up and down on the couch, so i'll let john do it for him. I just spent the last three hours reading all 221 of her posts on his page and looking at all the pics. My heart is aching, and my prayers are for her and the family. I can see she has the peace that suprpasses all understanding, praise the lord, and that will bring her and her family thru it. Hugs, hugs, hugs, and prayers, prayers, prayers to the Averys.

Anonymous said...

Heartfelt prayers to Julian and his family. I hope the angels sing around him and comfort him.
On the pencil issue.. it could have been your father-in-law yelling at your normal functioning 7year old daughter that she needed to put the pencil away because he didn't want her coloring on the walls with it. All she wanted was a piece of paper to draw her invalid grandma a picture and she has never colored on walls, even when she was younger.
School secretaries may be human too, but if they are going to start your child's day off like that, something needs to counteract it and we are our children's biggest advocates. We know what they are like when they get home from one of those days.

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