Friday, December 21, 2007

The Twelve Days of Christmas

I went to a birthday party for my dad and my sister last night. Happy birthday guys! We had our school parties today. Now I can finally finish shopping! Eeeek! I haven't wrapped anything yet and I haven't baked a single cookie! I think I have a busy weekend ahead of me.
Now, for your listening pleasure, a Christmas song ---

On the first day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
A lovely drawing of me.

On the second day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the third day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Four dirty diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Four poopy diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Six whiny voices,
Four poopy diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Seven chicken nuggets,
Six whiny voices,
Four poopy diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Eight mismatched mittens,
Seven chicken nuggets,
Six whiny voices,
Four poopy diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Nine giant messes,
Eight mismatched mittens,
Seven chicken nuggets,
Six whiny voices,
Four poopy diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Ten dirty dishes,
Nine giant messes,
Eight mismatched mittens,
Seven chicken nuggets,
Six whiny voices,
Four poopy diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Eleven loads of laundry,
Ten dirty dishes,
Nine giant messes,
Eight mismatched mittens,
Seven chicken nuggets,
Six whiny voices,
Four poopy diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my children gave to me...
Twelve muddy snow boots,
Eleven loads of laundry,
Ten dirty dishes,
Nine giant messes,
Eight mismatched mittens,
Seven chicken nuggets,
Six whiny voices,
Four poopy diapers,
Three snotty noses,
Two dirty bathrooms,
and a lovely drawing of me.


Erica said...

This is great! However, I can't figure out how you ended up with just 10 dirty dishes. Just ten? lol

I love your humor and wish to thank you for all the wonderful memories you bring to mind! (I am the oldest of 8!!)

Julie said...

Well, obviously Cheryl NEVER gets sick or has other things to do that would result in not watching her children like a HAWK. And if you had tons of money to "jet off to New York", my guess is you would have stayed in a swanky suite somewhere and had your husband join you (well, that's what I would do anyway).

For the rest of us who have a sense of humor and also sense enough not to take every single thing you write literally...KEEP IT COMING!!

Heidi said...

LOL! That was great! (Was that first drawing on your table or floor?? Wowzers!)

Robyn said...

Love your song, I was just checking to see how you were doing (aka procrastinating), and looks like I just caught your update. Don't push yourself too hard, you don't want to be sick for Christmas. Have a wonderful Christmas and please ignore the imbeciles!!

Sharon said...

I used to put my kids in front of the TV with a lot of junk food and a video just so I could rest when I had a migraine. My husband, the cop, didn't seem to have a problem with it so I guess I didn't do anything wrong and the kids are now 20 and 17 so they survived without harm.

Love the blog! Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn....Hope you are feeling better today.

I know what is going to make you have a super Christmas this year...besides of course your wonderful family....

You are pretty much guaranteed to reach

*****TWO MILLION*****

hits to your blog by then!

Early Congratulations to you. Have a Blessed Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year. :)

Donna in Wonderful Western NY! ;)

Deb in OPKS said...

I know I'm tired but I could have sworn I just read something about a nasty post. I guess you decided to remove it. you are such a good person. people can be such jerks. Anyway, I'm with you on being behind for Christmas. I'm supposed to have the day off & was going to finish shopping & wrap presents. instead I'm in the hospital with my 3 yr old. they think they have ruled out pneumonia but are observing & trying to get her oxygen level up. my husband and other girls are taking care of Christmas right now. keep your fingers crossed she improves quickly & we go home tomorrow!

MaryLu said...

Aren't they sweet?

Anonymous said...

Great Song.....I think we all have a busy weekend ahead of us. Hope you get everything done. I pray you and your family have a very Merry Christmas.

God Bless

joeyjo said...

I love your song. That is so hilarious.

Melissa said...

I just don't get it, I mean come , where's the love. Moms get to be sick every once in awhile. Call DCFS? That's just nuts.

Good thing she doesn't read my blog ;)

Donna said...

Encore!!!! I love it.

Since I subscribe to your blog by way of bloglines, I read the opening lines that you deleted from the finished entry. Sounds to me like one of your readers is jealous. Don't let 'em get to you.

Sarah said...

What talent you have!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn, Thanks for the laugh! Now I can't quit saying mismatched mittens 3 times fast! My poor son has strep throat and missed his school Christmas party. Another parent delivered all the goodies he made for mom and dad to us though. Bless her heart! I have been baking pie's and those saltine cracker chocolate chip thingy's. Time to relax and wait for that blizzard coming our way! Hope you get lots done this weekend. Kristine in Michigan

Lisa M said...

Bravo!! What would Christmas be without children?!

Patty said...

Cute song! ;) I may have to write my own version after all the inspiration.

Ree said...

Do you watch South Park? That drawing of you? Looks suspiciously like Mr. Hanky! :-)


Merry Christmas to your whole wonderful gang!

Jennifer said...

The audacity of some people. I just don't get it - who do they think they are? Good grief. I think some people just don't have enough to keep them busy, and it must bring them joy to poke their noses in where they don't belong. I really want to go on and on because people like that irritate me to no end. But I'll stop there. Sorry!

I hope you are feeling better and that you manage to get everything finished in time! And, in case I haven't said it before, THANK YOU for the entertainment you provide here. I only have two mess-makers and my hands are fully, so I admire you and I LOVE your approach to life!

Jennifer said...

Oh yeah - and I LOVE your version of the 12 Days of Christmas!

Valarie said...

Dawn, you seriously crack me up!! Have a Merry Christmas!

Erin said...

Merry Christmas Dawn! Thanks for the great song.

I've been reading your blog for several months now and I am addicted. I fly from West Virginia to Maine tomorrow (Saturday) with my husband and our 16 mo old. This is her first flight. Any advice??

roseys madhouse said...

LMAO Love it!!!!!!
Was the drawing on the table?

Lastel said...

OMG that was just too funny , love it ! Am I the first poster !

Sue said...

Cute, you must be feeling better! Slice and bake cookies are a quick short cut and think of all "the purple things" you could make with Pillsbury sugar cookie dough and some sprinkles.

Rick said...

After looking down their Christmas gift list, all it seems that your kids have sprung for were the Chicken McNuggets.

I don't know, but it would seem that they could have been more generous - even if they had only pooled together the change lost in your sofa?

Shellie said...

On the ninth day of Christmas my children gave to me, my 4000th Fossil Wienie!...
Therefore, I am going on strike. I suggest all mothers do the same. No more hot dogs till they have their own house! Or at least until we run out of fast food substitutes. Mommas, UNITE!
Just had to get that off my chest, I knew you would understand. Hope the vertigo's gone for good.

homefire said...

I love it, but I can't possibly say "eight mismatched mittens" as fast as I sing this song. :-D My Tingue gets Twusted.

Brenda said...

LOL. Cute song. Makes a lot more sense then Lords a Leaping.

Anonymous said...

haha! that's great! love the song Dawn I emailed it to my mom and she laughed so hard. she emailed me back saying that are was like that one year when I was 4. I'm the middle of 6 too.

Sarah said...

Oh, Dawn, that's great! Just what I needed today : ) You always cheer me up : )

My dad rewrote the 12 days of Christmas when I was a kid, but all I can remember now is:
Fort Leavenworth
Three Wrenched Friends
And a Cartridge and a Pair of Threes!

My dad was such a scream : )
Thanks for the laughs and for triggering my memories!! And Good luck on getting everything done : ) To everyone : )

Merry Christms!! : )

VanDerHoekArt said...

Thanks Dawn for keeping all of us laughing during this very busy time of year!

ChrisH said...

You just KNOW that'll sell, once you record it, right? :) Thanks for keeping me smiling. To see a very creative take on the 12 Days, see the mystery that the family at this blog is trying to solve:

My Semblance of Sanity said...

We crack each other up!!

Like our better than mine!

Mary Poppins said...


Linda Bowen said...

Lovin' your version of that song! Genius!

Merry Christmas to you and yours Dawn and all the best for 2008!

Kristine said...

Love the artwork!

I have to agree, don't pay attention to that comment you got. She was way out of line.

Brigitte aka Scrappassie said...

Your 12 days of christmas are wonderful and very funny ;-) Just like to wish you and your bunch the very best XMas holidays and a happy, healthy, clean, quiet Newyear LOL Or, at least, lots and lots of fun in 2008. Thanks for your wonderful blog ;-)

KC said...

Hi Dawn - I love the song. Your humour comes through over and over in your blog and that's what your kids are going to take with them when they leave home.

Their sense of security and well being and tradition is going to come from having a mum who is there for them and their creativity not from
-presents beautifully wrapped with bows
-15 kinds of cookies (I don't know about you but when I bake too much I end up eating too much Jan 7 when the house is empty!!!) I am the reigining monarch in the land of justification
- towels on the bathroom floor
- an exhausted mum who was trying to reach some intangible level of perfection that Hallmark tells us should be enveloping our homes at this time of year.

I always maintain that if I was uberorganized I would never have the pleasure of finding money in pockets everytime I switched coats for a season!!!

Told you, reigning monarch and not planning to abdicate anytime soon!!!

Have a wonderful FAMILY time. That's the memories and the security that will one day leave the house. (At least, I parent on the assumption that one day it will leave the house!!!!!)

Dawn E. said...

The wood - DENATURED ALCOHOL unless the drawing makes you happy.

The dishes - My 4 kids go through 10 cups in 2 hours. I come from a family of 9. Whatever happened to sharing germs?

The boots - Way too clean. Did you train those kids?

And did you ever notice that when you are really busy and trying to get things done, there is a little one in a quiet corner somewhere opening all the gifts you just finished wrapping? Or he's putting Cariboo balls in the vacuum hose to see what will happen? Or he's eating Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa powder by the scoopful? (He was running out after I took it away from him THREE times, so I gave him the container of Hershey's Cocoa and a spoon. I think he's cured.)

Loved your song. Here's a little something I'm working on. Note that I don't have a dog.

All I want for Christmas is a kennel...

Anonymous said...

Please tell us what the drawing of you was drawn on!

And I'd jump up and down in joy with only 10 dishes!!! LOL

Your blog is too fun to read - wouldn't go a day without reading it!
Pam (Seattle)

fba90130 said...

Hehehe :)

Your blog makes it clear just how lucky I will never be a mother of 6

Have you published any of this yet? Because I would definitely remember if I came across something like this.

I read the blog of a Japanese mother with 3 kids. She's onto her 5th book in the series and it's selling pretty good in Japan.

Here's to mothers and what they have to put up with. ^ ^

Robin said...

Nicely Done!! But what EXACTLY did the kids draw the lovely drawing of you on? It looks a little like a wooden something ..... Magic Eraser to the rescue!
Merry Christmas! Thanks for the laughs!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn, Was that really a drawing of You? LOL Looks like a pickle. I hope it was not permanent marker! I was wondering if ..being your from Chicago..Have you ever been to the Oprah show? Is there even a way to schedule tickets for the Oprah's favorite things givaway show. That would be one to attend! Have a Merry Christmas and don't forget to take picture's of your Christmas tree Christmas eve & the after math in the morning! That will be fun for us all to see! Kristine in Michigan.

Cat-a-holic, Lilly and Laila said...

Very cute and funny! I think I see a recording contract in your future now.

Slacker Mom said...

I think you're amazing. I have three and I'm constantly wondering how I've kept them all alive this long. :) I'm sure you hear it all the time but seriously, I don't know how you do it. When people ask ME this question I always respond with "I didn't realize I had a choice!"

Leah said...

very fun! I have half as many kids and I but I feel like I have the pretty much the same 12 days of christmas list some days. ROFL! That was very creative and fun

Aemelia said...

LOL! I loved it. My pile of dishes is higher. =( And it is hard to get to my washer for all the clothes! Yikes! At least my presents are all wrapped that should count for something right...ok back to the laundry!

Kim H. said...


Wow - you've still got your creativity even with all the other things going on in your life. I'm so impressed! Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family. I'll wave out in your direction when we head up to Chicago for our holidays. Congrats on all your successes this past year - you are truly an inspiration to Moms (and Dads) everywhere.


Katrina said...

Heehee! I have a question for you, Dawn. Do your kids act out a lot in December? My boys always did. My sweet boys would turn into whining, obstinate, disobedient brats during the holidays. The minute Christmas was over, the extra naughty behavior would stop and they would be sweet again. They've outgrown that, but their little brother is taking over the Brat Before Christmas position. I'm ready to pull my hair out!

Anyway, Happy Holidays to you and your lovely family!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn,
I was hoping you could post this message. Here is a link to an article about a very, very sick little boy in NH, and a family who could use prayers for a miracle.
I do not have access to more detailed information about donations, but prayers, many of them, would certainly be appreciated.
Thank you.

Pam said...

Dawn, Love the drawings! And, the messes, well this too shall pass... Your blog really hit home with me today. I love the holidays but was feeling a little blue this morning with Christmas coming up in a few days and no little ones to share it with.... I have three children and one grandchild age 11. My two daughters are age 31 and 21 and my baby boy just turned 19... Born on Thanksgiving Day 1988 (his due date by the way) and weighing in at 9 lb 3 oz he was all the "turkey" I got that year.... I still haven't lost the "baby weight" guess I will have to quit using him as my excuse now, LOL! Anyway, back to the drawings.... I went in my laundry room this morning and there they were, you know the ones like in your blog that your children did over the years and handed over to you with lots of love and big smiles on their faces... You compliment them on their art and hopefully guess correctly what the subject matter is - Oh look now this is dad (beard and pants on stick figure helps) and this is sister (long girl hair on shorter stick figure) now what/who is this with the "Big hair" umm, oh yes, that is ME! Yes mommie, that is you!! See the hair-pointing at Big hair-giggle giggle (they still laugh about my 80s hair)... You give their drawing a prominent place on the fridge which pleases your little artist immensely. Then when another of your budding artists hands over their artwork up it goes. Soon the fridge front fills up to where you can't see the door opening so down comes the old. Well there are some that were just too precious for me to let go of... those are the ones that somehow found themselves taped up on my utility room wall, behind the door and down the wall next to the cabinets.... I have glanced at them many times over the years and smile at the memories they bring. Two of those precious drawings are what caught my eye this morning as I was doing the laundry. The one above them is a happy home with smiling faces out front, and of course there I am again with the "BIG 80's hair" but the two that really caught my eye this morning were from Christmases past. One with folds and creases across it had been a folded note left for Santa once Christmas Eve with milk and cookies... It reads "We LOVE you Santa" in the most adorable childish sprawl and Santa had written back in red ink "Thanks for the milk and cookies BE GOOD! Love, Santa" (Santa always took every opportunity to make this point), BE GOOD, LOL Another you could tell my child had only just begun to write it said "M A R Y C H R I S M A S - I LOVE YOU MOM & DAD" There are a few others, all just too special to throw away. I guess what I'm getting around to Dawn is those drawings you got this Christmas, make sure you hang onto to a few of them and keep some of them in a place where you will see them in 10-20 years from now when your babies are all grown up. They will be like a "gift" given over and over again to remind you of those days when your babies were small and you and your husband were still the center of their world (a space shared once a year by Santa of course :) Thanks for your Blog! From one mother to another, have a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New year! Pam

Becky said...

Loved the song, Dawn!

Hope you and yours have a WONDERFUL Christmas!

Anonymous said...


Love your blog! I have a Sunday question for you, and I think it became even more important today because I had a positive pregnancy test this morning!!! Surprise!!! I have three kids age 5 and under, and I try to keep their clothes and pass them down to the next of the same gender. Do you pass down clothes? How do you store them in your 1000 square foot house? Would the whites turn yellow if I put them in the attic? I need some advice and soon!!!!! I still haven't completely put away my one year old's baby clothes yet, and we are walking around bins in his bedroom!!!

Michelle said...

Hilarious, My sister just wrote one of those about me & my Christmas lights on my Tree this year ... to the song of Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She entitled it Mommy got wrapped up in all the wires. Check out on my blog if you are interested. It's pretty fun. Too bad I don't have pictures other than my beautifully over-lit Xmas tree.

one preschooler left said...

Loved the song my 15 year old son sang it with me.
Hope you get your cookies made I made 23 loaves of bread (most of them were the small ones) yesterday and today now I just have to wrap for hours!
Enjoy your holiday!

Manic Mom said...

Stopping by to wish you a Merry Christmas!

morninglight mama said...

I love your 12 days! Over on my blog (which gets not even 1/100th of the traffic as yours!), I chose to mark the end of the year with a personal top ten list.

As everyone says to you, I love your blog and read it regularly. It's cool to be able to relate to someone so well, even when you've never met! I'm the mom of only 3 children, but with 2 of them under 2 years old, I sometimes think that counts higher. :)

Snoop's family said...

Hey, according to Dave Carlson's What's your blog worth, Your blog,, is worth $1,172,549.58!

Mine is worth $0.00. Hahahaha!! Merry Christmas! Keep up the great writing!

Directions To Heaven said...

Isn't it always like that though. Cute little disasters.

Sarah Gee said...

Perfection! :) It's why you get paid the big bucks I guess!

korkie said...

I'm still in awe over how neatly all those boots were lined up ... by size yet!

What's up with that?

Danielle said...

LOVE it!!!!! I'm sharing this with my "Mommy" friends ~ it's the best version of this song yet!!!!

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Kalynne Pudner said...

I thought of you, and linked to this blog, when I wrote on mine ( that I wasn't ready to blog about taking six kids under the age of 13 Christmas shopping in the rain. (Instead, I blogged about spending two-and-a-half hours wrapping presents in the back of my 15-passenger van in a McDonald's parking lot.)

Thanks for bringing back the memories ...and for the consequent wave of utter gratitude that they're not in diapers anymore.

~Steph said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours!
You've probably seen this, but it's just too funny not to share. It actually made me think of you - probably because of one of the last lines "BECAUSE I SAID SO"!


Heather said...

Hilarious! I got similar gifts from my kids this year too ;-) Love the song- Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Dawn. Long-time reader, first-time commenter. First off, thank you for all of the wonderful humor that you share with all of us out here in Mommy Land - I love it!

Second, I am not sure what was used to draw the potato person, but I have a cleaner that works wonders on Sharpie marker -- good old Lysol spray. Just spray, wait a few minutes and wipe. It may take a couple of times to go away, but it works wonders on Sharpie art! How do I know? I'm a preschool director and have had lots of experience "erasing" doodles and art in places that it doesn't belong!


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