Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Call me Monkey

Here's a joke courtesy of Clay. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Monkey poop! This was followed by much laughing. You just can't help but laugh along when you hear that kind of infectious laughter. Of course, after his audience gave such uproarious approval of his joke, he had to repeat it. Again. And again. And again.

This evening, I congratulated Clay and Lex on a job well done because they got their pajamas on in less than two hours. I high-fived Clay and said, "Dude!" I high-fived Lex and said, "Dudette!"

Clay looked at me disbelieving and informed me, "Mom, she's not Dudette. Call her Princess. And call me Monkey." I've been corrected.

Ok - my mom called me this morning and asked, "So who locked whom in the refrigerator?" She continued with a lecture about kids dying because they were stuck inside a fridge. Seriously. Sooo, I'm writing to explain that little post last night, ok Mom? Because my fridge is broken and awaiting a repairman, my husband took all the shelves out of the fridge and completely cleaned it out. My oldest son thought it would be fun to hide in the fridge and jump out and scare the living snot out of his siblings as they walked past said fridge. After hearing the terrified screams of his siblings, I realized what he was doing and made him get out. I had visions of the repairman coming out and saying, "Well the compressor's shot and that's covered under your warranty, but there appears to be a giant hole in the floor of the refrigerator and that's definitely not covered."

Anyway, I made sure the kids knew that a refrigerator is not a toy. Nor is it a magic box wherein one can hide. Nor is it a torture chamber for unsuspecting siblings. Nor is it a toy box. Nor is it a book case. (You get the idea.)

Back to my mom. Here's a disclaimer: Not all refrigerators have doors that open from the inside. I know it sounds like a good idea, but do not empty your fridge of food and shelving and get into it and close the door behind you. This could be dangerous. If you're throwing your old refrigerator at the curb, take the door off because (again, according to my mom - this kind of thing happens) apparently there are kids who roam around and get into refrigerators thrown at the curb and die. Now you know.

Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

If you haven't yet, feel free to check out my new blog. I'm highlighting one work-at-home mom's business each week. This week it's Angie's business Good For The Kids. If you visit her site, make sure you use the code - 6PACKBLOG for 10% off your orders!

70 comments:

Anonymous said...

Would it be OK if my kids get locked in the fridge if it's cold inside? They won't die of heat stroke at least.

Don't worry though. No one would ever fit inside my fridge with all of the molding pizza & fruit and souring milk.

Thanks for writing about Good for the Kids! Make sure to use coupon code 6PACKBLOG for 10% off your orders!

Angie :)
Good for the Kids

Anonymous said...

in NJ, it's state law to remove the doors when you put things like refrigerators on the curb. When the people who sold us our house put theirs out on the curb to be picked up, a cop drove past and told them they needed to remove the door.

Jennwith4 said...

LOL! My daughter does the same knock, knock joke all the time just because people laugh at it and it makes no sense.

Anonymous said...

this is really random but in my torts class i was JUST learning about it.

fridges are called "attractive nuisances", mainly because it attracts kids, even though its dangerous. and you could totally get sued for leaving a fridge out on the street without taking off the door if a kid decides to play hide and seek with it.

i just thought it was funny how your blog came right after my class lecture.

oh btw, i love your blog... it makes me want minis... thats what i call the adorable cute kids... in the movie, good luck chuck, they call them "crib midgets". =)

and yes, i'm really random. sorry!

roseys madhouse said...

Love the new look. I also love the picture looks like me house lol.
I hate to say this but I too have had the fridge talk from my mum and dont you hate it when you think about this and realise "Oh my God " she could be right.
You know my pet hate though when you say something to the kids and then realise "ARGGHHHH" I am my mother.

Anonymous said...

Your mom is right! I've heard of that kind of thing happening to kids.

I was laughing at your story though, because my 4th child, my husband, would totally do something like that!

All moments remembered said...

My mom and Dad would have said the same things as your mom!! LOL parents!! Oh wait we are those too. Well some day when you tell your kids not to let their kids play in the frig you will remember this convo with your mom! :)

Thanks for sharing Angies site. I love reading about other moms just trying to make it out there working from home. Being one of those moms too I know how hard it is. I wish Angie tons of success!!! Way cool of you Dawn to help other moms like you out too!! Your the bestest and I still soooo appreciate you telling others about my site too! Thank you!!
Stacey

zoloft mom said...

wow! two blogs! you are one busy lady. and one very successful lady. congrats!

lb128f said...

Sweet & Funny! Like your new page!!

Liz's Random Thoughts said...

Amazing, I never knew that you could die if you got in your fridge and shut the door...guess i better take that one off of the 'dumbest things i must do before I die' list? Wait...i don't such a list...hmm ok so anyways;)...the new lay out and everything is pretty cool:) I like the graphic/pic thing at the top its cute:) I read your blog alot...and I don't have any kids and I still want kids...just not for a few more years (and hopefully before that i have a ring on my finger and have said 'i do'!)...Anyways, God bless and hope you get your refrigerator runing again...;)
<3
Liz

Jessica said...

My 4 yo twins have a little joke too.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cow
Cow who?
(neigh like a horse here)
They think it is hilarious. Even funnier if you point out that that is the sound a horse makes.

Unknown said...

Oh my goodness - yes, empty refrigerators cause a lot of deaths. I'm glad you blogged about that today. I'm also glad your child is safe and sound.

You're an amazing mom, Dawn. Every day I am constantly surprised at your sense of humor and your ability to always see the lighter side of anything your children bring your attention too. Way to go.

Becky said...

LOL on the Chicken joke. Of course it's hilariously funny, because "Poop" is the next funniest word to "Butt" where kids are concerned, lol.

Love the new Review site, Dawn.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

That is a very scary story! But it certainly is a good way to keep the kids cool!

And mother knows best! That is DEFINITELY why people remove the door when their fridges puke.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn

Have been loving your blog since the eBay auction! Love the humour and fun view of parenting.

Re change to the site, I miss the gorgeous photo of your baby enjoying her chocolate - maybe that's why others have said they didn't like the site?

From an Aussie who loves your work!

Anonymous said...

The "locking" inside a fridge doesn't really happen with modern day refrigerators anymore. Unlike the "ice chests" of the past, there is no latch to hold the door clothes, just a push and you're out. Doesn't mean empty fridges are toys though, still an enclosed area with limited air.

But otherwise, amazing what fun kids will have. I miss the days where jumping inside an empty fridge to scare a sibling was completely normal activity.

Vonnie said...

Hi Dawn

Hope you don't mind, due to finding you via the pokemon episode, and reading daily, I have been inspired to give blogging a go! I hope you don't mind me adding a link to your page?

You are an inspiration! Keep up the good work, entertaining millions (surly it is now?!) of us with your great humour, that crosses nations!
Ever thought of being a politican?!;)

http://diary-of-my-existence.blogspot.com/

Mrs. Guthrie said...

oh, man... that's unfortunate... because we were *seriously* planning on giving that refrigerator trick a try today for school.... Recess or something.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

unfortunately kids do die because of old fridges and freezers. Two brothers i baby sat when i was young did die because of hiding in a fridge. it was the most traumatic thing i have ever known of in my life. since then (this was more than 25 years ago) when i see fridges on the road side with out doors removed i will stop and remove them. thankfully most people do know and realise the risk and do removed doors.

ps you dont have to post this comment, i just wanted to share that your mom is right.
hugs Laura

Anonymous said...

Dawn,
Last year a child search began for a little boy in oklahoma. The child was found one week later lifeless inside the families abandoned refrigerator that was in their yard. Two years ago the same thing happened in upstate New York and the year prior one more case. I'm not a psycho Mom afraid of every little thing, and I certainly would not freak out about your kids in a fridge - but it does serve as a good warning to people who would not fathom that occurring. Ps. I LOVE your blog - its my middle of the day martini!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... We have left two toilets and a dishwasher at the curb!!!! Do you think?? ::gasp::

Actually, to give your Mom a little credit I've seen some articles here in Florida (again), about some kids dying in frig's and in the back of trunks of broken down cars. These weren't in the best of neighborhoods but still, it happened. Very, very sad.

Good luck with your repair!! May the under warranty fairy visit your house and grant your every wish!

Tory in Florida

Rick said...

Moms! - what would be do without them? - always there to remind us that our appliances are not play toys. Give her my love.

Anonymous said...

LOL! I think the old refridgerators actually latched shut instead of just having the cheapy seal around them. That is how people go shut in. Congrats on your kids changing clothes so fast. Mine will do it for snacks.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Maybe I should start a business cleaning up vomit - I'm getting really good at it. Then you could highlight my blog. Let's see - what could I call it? Hmmm....Puke Pickeruppers? BYOBarf? Vomit Vamoose?

I think I'm losing my mind.

Karen said...

Your mom is right, you know. Your own offpsring just proved that kids do, indeed, climb into refrigerators and close the doors behind them. It's like a giant magnet. And they'll run with scissors, too.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to add that the whole fridge door thing is something from a long time ago when the doors actually had 'latches' on them. Not this newfandangled magnetic strip. Of course there is probably the possiblility of suffacation, but that would mean there is no air and because mold and fungus needs air to breath I definitly know there is air in the fridge. At least in mine there is!

Bigmammy said...

so funny!

melody said...

A refridgerator that has a latch?
hmmmm
I've never seen a standard fridge with a latch, much less one that you could "unlatch" from the inside. I actually thought you were talking about the walk-in kind that they have at grocery stores and restaurants. My granny used to warn me about playing in fridges when I was a kid. Too funny, but sadly enough it does happen.

I love your blog! I'm a single mom of 3 (recently divorced). I think being single makes your number of twins feel like it's been doubled or tripled because you never have any help with the kids. (I know... it's not the same, but some days it feels like it to me)

Mommy Brain said...

I just love moms don't you? Seriously, we are grown woman with children of our own and yet a lecture from mom will bring us to our knees begging for forgiveness??? I'm looking forward to lecturing my grown children = )

Unknown said...

Wow, I had no idea I had a sister, but clearly I must because that conversation had to be with my mom. Welcome to the family.

Janet said...

Hmm. If I wasn't positive my mother never had a sister, I'd say we were cousins! It is amazing the things kids can come up with. So far mine haven't come up with anything like that, but the things it occurs to them to climb up are astonishing.

Anonymous said...

That is just the kind of thing my bother would have done, hiding in the fridge. your writing reminds me of growing up with my brothers and sister and my ever patient mom.


Julie

Anonymous said...

It's true. My brother died at age 5 (along with his best friend) in a refrigerator that some idiot abandoned without disabling the door. I was really startled and concerned when I read your post!

Michelle said...

You are too funny :)

Anonymous said...

I knew that children could get locked in a fridge, but only because it was on a Punky Brewster episode about a million years ago. Did you ever see Punky? It was a great show, but man, that episode when Cherie got locked in the fridge really terrified me. Thank goodness they were learning CPR in school that week...

Anonymous said...

i live in iowa and we just had a six year old boy, in our area, die after playing hide and seek with his sister and climbing into an old microwave. stranger things have happened i guess.

sue said...

I'm so shocked that I'm the first I may forget what I was going to say! Yikes!

Oh, yeah... I was surprised to find there are refrigerators that do have escape methods. I was always taught to block the door open or take it off (and imagine my horror when I found out my kids used to play in the chest freezer?). Luckily, my four kids are all grown now so I guess they figured out how not to get stuck.

Love the blog. The book will be great.

Anonymous said...

echoing the iowa annon...yes, stuff like that does happen..a little boy(6yrsold) climbed into an ancient microwave(emember the big ones you could put an entire turkey, or cow in?) while playing hide and seek. He passed away from asphixiation and heat stroke. Sad story, but very true...

AutoSysGene said...

Without Mom how would we ever learn these important things. I'm feeling the need to empty my refrigerator and get in a see if I can get out from inside. Do you suppose they put that info in the manual?

Damama T said...

Dawn - You've opened up a perfect opportunity to tell folks about Habitat for Humanity's new resale shop. They take donations of appliances, building supplies, furniture, etc. (just no knick-knacky stuff or clothes). They pick up (in most locations) and YOU GET A TAX DEDUCTION! I just had my kitchen redone and gave them THE OLD ONE... cabinets, all the appliances, the sink, lights... the whole thing! So much better than having it end up in the landfill!! Here's their website. http://www.habitat.org/ If you can, please help get the word out about this very worthwhile organization's efforts! Peace and Blessings!!!

Anonymous said...

http://www.parenthood.com/articles.html?article_id=10240

thought that this was beautiful to read!

stephanie said...

When I was little I shut my-self inside our fridge, and I couldn't get out, I could barely breath,and then when I thought that I would die,.....
my brother opened the door and I was saved. see how dangerous fridges can be? yup, it can happen.

stephanie said...

oh and once my brother(the one that saved me)put my other brother(they were both really young)in the chest freezer,and was sitting on it, just smiling away(you know that "I'm doing something wrong" smile) then my parents came in, saw jeff sitting on the freezer,they heard pounding, and they told jeff to get off. it was hilarious!

Matchbox Mom said...

Dawn,
That is so funny! I remember that episode of Punky Brewster! She was my favorite! I still get a huge adrenaline rush when I think of little Cherrie getting locked in that fridge. SCARY!!!
Good thing we have Moms, eh? I couldn't live without mine.

Tami

Anonymous said...

Even though today's refrigerators don't have a latch, they could still be very hard to open from the inside. My toddler isn't strong enough to pull it open from the outside, so I don't think he could push it open from the inside, eiter.

(Sorry to be so scary and serious!!)

White Charcoal said...

"Throw things (fridge) at the kerb?" This is a new expression for me. Is it the same as "fly-tipping" that we here in the UK use? If it is then it's a filthy and antisocial habit which I doubt very much you would participate in. Love the blog by the way.

Anonymous said...

OK your mom's refrigerator warning brought back an old Punky Brewster episode...

"One of the most memorable episodes include an incident where Cherie gets locked in an old, junked refrigerator during a game of hide-and-seek (she hid in there and couldn't get out, and subsequently passed out from lack of oxygen), and Punky has to perform CPR (which she had just learned at school)."

Did you ever watch that?

It certainly taught me not to play in old refrigerators when I was a kid!

Andrea said...

Too funny! My fridge died last Friday and we got a new one over the weekend. My mother said THE EXACT SAME THING about removing the door! She didn't want my daughter getting stuck in there and dying...my youngest is 10!!! LOL...I said Mom, she's 10 years old not 2! Sheesh!

Jessica said...

The same is true for clothes dryers. I had to replace mine and put the old one out on the curb. My mother called with strict instructions to wrap duct tape around the thing so the door wouldn't open because, apparently, kids get into the dryers and dye. Who are these kids roaming the streets climbing into broken appliances?

Irishmama said...

Dawn -

Are you aware that Clay has an identical twin, named Quinn who lives in PA??? Monkey Poop.

Still laughing.....

Michelle said...

OK .. I'm sure your tired of fridge retorts but here goes.

The older fridges were a double whammy. Not only were you in an enclosed space with a limited amount of fresh breathable air but the latched and kept you in.

The greatest danger is that limited air business. The door shuts and you sit there quietly waiting for your prey. Little by little you consume all the available oxygenated air and refill the space with your exhaled carbon dioxide. Then you begin rebreathing your own carbon dioxide and reducing the amount of oxygen within your bloodstream. We all can pretty much figure out what oxygen deprivation results in .... suffocation. The scary part is that you become sleepy and essentially suffocate in your sleep.

The effects will occur more rapidly if you are a small person with small lungs who is breathing fast because you are excited about pranking your prey.

SO!! the moral of the story is "No young'uns in the fridge!"

Anonymous said...

OMG! The Very Special Punky Brewster episode! I totally remember that! And that is why I have always been afraid of friges.

Anonymous said...

For one year (yes, one very long year) I had to listen to "Knock knock, who's there? Banana Pants! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" all blurted out in one breath. Someday my nephew will get payback for starting them on that one.

supermommysquared said...

Your mom is right! I learned this very important lesson from a very special episode of Punky Brewster :)

Trish Berg said...

Dawn-

I may be a week behind, but WOW! Great new look to yoru blog!! WOW GIRL! It looks awesome!

I like your favorite things lists...when you hit it big and have your own tlak show, be sure to invite me to the FAV THINGS ONE like Oprah has so I can get a car or somehting... :)

Great job, friend!

Blessings - Trish Berg
The Supper Swap Mom
www.TrishBerg.com

Anonymous said...

I just had to let you know that I read your blog after being forwarded your Pokemon ebay page! I'm in New Zealand (yes, a different country) - and will keep reading.

By the way, my youngest of 3 (age 3)has a similar joke "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a party pooper!!(Him and his sister fall down laughing)"

Rochelle
Leigh
New Zealand

Anonymous said...

Hey Dawn what are your kids going to be for Halloween? Do you recycle costumes like i do? Joyce

monica said...

Do you KNOW my worry wart Mom? B/C you're obviously talking about her! LOL~

Jen said...

There was a Punky Brewster episode about a kid dying (or almost) because they were playing hide and go seek and the kid hid in the fridge. Dude (dude-ette) I mean, I saw that like 20 years ago, how can I still remember that?

AndiWrite said...

Love the joke! My son went through a phase at 3yo where his jokes were all like this: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Fire truck." "Fire truck who?" "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana" "Banana who?" "Knock knock." ...and on and on and on. Never a punch line in sight. Then he progressed to "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Fire truck. (laughs at his own non-punchline)"

Mediocre Housewife said...

Hey, it happened on Punky Brewster, so it must be true. Fridge = big, scary, white death box.

Anonymous said...

Love the idea of promoting other sites and this one has some really cute things!

Anonymous said...

Dawn,

Do you use Apple computers? If so, what kind?

Dave

Teacherperson said...

Isn't it a bummer to have to be socially and politically correct in all ways now that you are famous? Bad fridge. Bad, bad! (tee hee)

Anonymous said...

What's red and shaped like a bucket?

A red bucket.

Just thinking about my kids laughing about this joke, gets me going again.

Rickii

Nicki said...

Thanks for the explanation! Leave it to Mom's to put you in your place!

SimplyGigi said...

OMGosh! I think we have the same mothers! You handled yours much better than I would have.

Anonymous said...

Don't you love jokes from kids? :-P My kids have gone from "Monkey Poop" punch lines to their own special "Butternut Deal". I stopped asking at child #2....so I have learned to accept that the term has particular meaning to the 7 yr old and 3 yr old and no one else in the world.

Enh....at least they are bonding LOL!

Anonymous said...

I am probably roughly the same age as your mom & live in the Chicago area. Your mom is right about the kids dying in refrigerators. Even if the door can be opened from inside, most children are not strong enough to do so - esp as the oxygen runs out. I started reading the daily newspaper as soon as I could read & remember reading many stories of children in Chicago dying in abandoned refrigerators (put out with the trash to be picked up) while playing hide & seek. I believe that the state passed a law years ago (in the 50's or early '60's) that you have to remove the door of any refrigerator you put out in the trash.

Susie PSU said...

Kids suffocate in a refridgerator. It is airtight, and they run out of oxygen. PLEASE don't let them play in it!

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