Friday, September 7, 2007

Now Where Did I Put Those Keys?

I've been set straight. A gentleman wrote me and informed me of my grievous error. Apparently there is one man, a shoe salesman in Passaic, NJ, who can multi-task. My apologies to him. Now seriously, of course I made a generalization. There are men who multi-task very well. There are women who don't. That said, I still stand by my original assessment that men (in general) don't multi-task well, and women (in general) do. There have been several studies on this topic, in fact, that have arrived at the same conclusion. Now, this is not necessarily a bad thing, guys. Although most men can't juggle many things at the same time the way most women can, they do tend to focus on one task at a time, respond more quickly, and complete that task faster than a woman would. Most women can half listen to a couple different conversations going on at once. Most men will tune out all but one conversation and completely focus on that one, which is why you never attempt to talk to your husband while he's watching t.v. Which is better - getting bits and pieces of two conversations or getting one hundred percent of one conversation?

Take my grocery store example. I tell my husband to get a package of size 3 diapers, some bananas and a gallon of milk. Yes, he comes home with 3 packages of diapers in various sizes and a banana cream pie, but he does this in under ten minutes. If I'd given him one task at a time, he would've made three trips to the store and still gotten everything home in under half an hour.

Had I gone to the grocery store on the same mission, I would've come home with a package of size 3 diapers, some bananas, a gallon of milk, some strawberries because they were on sale, a bottle of creamer because I remembered that we were out, some Pop-Tarts as a treat for the kids because they were extra well behaved today, some razor blades because they were on clearance, a new bar of soap because ours has been magically transformed into a ball, a package of chicken to put in the crock pot for dinner tomorrow, a couple magazines to read while I'm at the hospital with my son next week, and a princess headband for my daughter just because it was cute. This trip would take me approximately two and a half hours because I'd have to compare prices and look for my coupons, and assuming I was able to run out without the kids, I'd just enjoy my time going up and down the aisles giving sympathetic smiles to parents shopping with kids in tow. And of course, I'd have to stop and chat with every friend I ran into.

See? My husband was on a mission and shopped quickly; I was slow. He was lacking in accuracy; I added unnecessary extras to the cart. Not one method is better than the other. They're just different. My husband will be the first to tell you that he doesn't multi-task well. Give him a specific job (one at a time, please) and he's on it. He stays calm, focuses on that one job, and does it quickly. I, on the other hand, can do half a dozen jobs at a time, but I must admit, I don't always do them well. For example, while I was cleaning my sons' room and conversing on the phone yesterday, I screeched into a man's ear, "It's a hotdog!" Not one of my finer multi-tasking moments. Oftentimes when I clean up around the house while talking on the phone or checking homework, I can't remember where I've put something. Keys? What keys? Oh yeah, I think I remember seeing keys somewhere. Now where did I see them? Where on earth did I put them? (By the way, if keys go missing, blame it on the baby. It works every time.)

So, in conclusion, men, don't be upset if you don't juggle multiple tasks well. You have your own method of doing things and it's not bad. It's simply different. I know I plan on keeping my husband around despite the wrong size diapers he brings home from the store. I have to keep him - he can open the jars of KoolAid pickles, reach the stuff on the high shelves, and change my oil. ;)
My son didn't erase my petrified hotdog picture afterall! I just couldn't find what folder he'd put it in.
The J. Peterman Underwear Hat
Some people simply have style. Perfect for swinging at the park, running in the backyard on a warm summer day, or wreaking havoc at the local grocery store. Red elastic waistband doesn't bind. Holes for air circulation. Soft cotton fabric for stylish comfort. Boys sizes 2T - 4T.
(not really a J. Peterman hat.)

109 comments:

drmacab97 said...

You are sooo fun! I'm genuinely happy for you and your new popularity. It's going to be so fun to watch your rise to the top. Thanks for making us all laugh out loud!

Candace Salima (LDS Nora Roberts) said...

I can't believe it! I'm the first to comment. I guess that's what comes of silk screening 200 shirts, front and back, just to help a friend out, then rushing home to babysit my sister's five kids (including a sick baby -- what a night it's been.) They are all in bed asleep and I am sitting at my computer yada, yada, yada.

Okay, back to you. Hysterical. I've yet to run into a man who can multitask, but you make a good point with their ability to focus. The ONE man who called and said he could multitask, he should teach courses to multitasking deficient men.

WARZ said...

I'm glad to have a chance to post early :P.

But all i need to say is, HI! ^^

KamiMari said...

ok so my dad is more like a woman. He sometimes comes home with the list or a variation of the list but also comes home with half the store that he thought my mom could use or he could use and then my mom gets frustrated cuz she can't, or won't, use the things. And the stuff just lays there untl my mom reminds my dad and then he uses it just to spite her. And that never really works out because whatever he bought just happened to be comlicated and he can't figure it out but instead of admitting his ignorance he starts calling the thing stupid and saying "stuff" under his breath. And God forbid you try helping him... All because mpm sent him to the store.
At least when women come home with more then they started out for (I do it every time!) each thing can be used and the women know how to use each thing....
Hope you're well. I'd ask if you're happy school started but you have 4 kids' homework to do so...
Good night!

Melissa K said...

Thank you for making that clarification. I showed this to my husband who took some offense to it. I was simply wanting him to see the humor in the fact that kids all over the world hide food in their rooms for many different purposes. And that parents, for many good reasons don't like it. I emailed this posting to him.

I totally agree with your comments about shopping styles. I do the exact same thing.

Thanks so much!
Melissa K
Wife of 1 husband, Mother of 4 boys, and graduate school student.

Jennifer said...

That hot dog looks familiar. Oh yeah I found it's cousin in my van! Have a great weekend!

Angie said...

Ahhh... One of my FAVORITE things about being out free without the kiddos is the gloating smirk I can give to other moms schlepping their kids about at the store.

I think to myself, "Oh, what is this new item? I can stand here, read the box, and ponder if I should purchase said box.

You? You there with one kid pulling boxes from the shelf and another kid climbing out of the cart headfirst? You have fun trying to read the Nutritional Facts on the box of New Product. I'll stand here taking my time gloating that I'm out alone, FREE to peruse and shop.

But tomorrow, I'll see you again, Miss. And we will once again be one-in-the-same chasing a kid down the aisle screaming, "Put down the butter!"

Matchbox Mom said...

Dawn,
Oh my gosh! I almost barfed when I saw the hot dog! I'm also glad that my kids aren't the only ones who think that underwear also make good hats! Woo Hoo for underwear hats!
Tams

Katirocks said...

Oh my hell, I love your blog about the multitasking, you don't have to defend yourself. It was funny & very true.
I'm the same at the store too! I love it, you're too funny!!
- Kate

Katirocks said...

Okay, I forgot to comment on your J.Peterman Catalog entry. I LOVE it, I absolutely love that you're a Seinfeld dork too!! Right on
- Kate

Shannon said...

I was in Target today alone and gave the same sympathetic smiles lol

thanks for the giggle

mom of 8 said...

Hey, can you someday write a post about how men who are perfectly capable of changing oil and sparks plugs, who can rebuild entire VW busses including making the dead engine run again, who build bicycles from scratch (and the ramps they ride them on) and who also lay track on your favorite roller coaster rides simply cannot open and close a stroller? Because as useful as my husband is, he simply cannot work the stroller!

Keep up the great work! I've been by everyday since you became famous and you're doing a wonderful job keeping me entertained! Heather

Manic Mom said...

Multi tasking--You know it! I read this post while wiping my son Tukey's butt, attaching stamps to thank you notes, balancing the checkbook, sipping on an apptletini (after all it is Friday night!), and clipping my daughter's fingernails.

As I'm typing this comment, I'm also waxing my eyebrows, sharpening pencils, and baking a cake for Mr. Manic's birthday which is on Sunday.

Women--Multi-taskers, or 'gatherers.

Men--Hunters, or just plain caveman Neanderthals... you decide!

Sarah said...

I've read every single one of your posts, but this is the first time I'm commenting. Just wanted to say, like everyone else, I love your blog. Thank you for making me laugh!

Gail said...

Oh my gosh! I'm so with you on the multi-tasking & the shopping thing. With the shopping thing, I'll usually look at the child or parent(s) & say "Ohhhh How cute!" Mine are home....fill in the blank. (sleeping, with daddy, etc.)
Now my husband was my boss before we ever started dating- he could multi-task at work, therefore he should be able to multi-task at home, yes? One would think so anyway. But, noooo, give him one thing to do at a time. Otherwise he tells me, I'm barking "orders" at him. Men- just can't leave 'em & you just can't shoot 'em! (I think that was a c&w song back in the late 80's?)

Anonymous said...

I love your blogs I can relate to alot. I am a mom to 4 girls 1 husbon and a bother in law.
We like the underware hats or in my case they are masks and pj pants are hats. I have learned to let them wear want they want it is not worth the time to argue about.

ShellyQ said...

I subscribed to your blog a couple days ago after getting an email from my dad w/the link to the Pokeman auction (best auction ever) I decided I had to post a comment now after reading your latest blog about multi tasking; which I also read to my husband; we were both laughing so hard...that is soooo true for us about shopping styles and multi tasking.

Thank you for sharing! Congratulations & Best Wishes :0)

Mom to Hannah 2 1/2, Nick 14

Angie & Willy said...

The hot dog photo makes me wanna hurl. But the stories make me laugh my butt off (thanks!! I can use the sculpting and toning in that region) so I'll take the hot dog photos if I have to ;)

~Angie, multi-tasker extraordinaire

Anne said...

My cousin used to wear underwear on his head too, and run around calling himself Dork Man. He was 38, though.

My grandpa and dad were sent to the grocery store for pepperoni once. They came home with salami. For a pizza. That was 20+ years ago and they still have yet to live it down.

The only food I can remember my brother hiding in his room was baby marshmallows, in a ziploc bag. The cat actually ripped the bag open so she could eat them. We had fun trying to figure out what the sticky white globs stuck to the carpet were... apparently she'd chew on them and then spit half of each one out. Fun!

Thanks for the great posts, hehe.

K said...

Multi-tasking indeed. Tragically, we men are probably as bad as you describe us... but you gotta love the Banana cream pie though.

Terry said...

ok so ya you caught me. I being man (even though a stay at home one) went to the store today bought a months worth of food in under an hour. Shopping to me is more like getting. I walk in, get stuff, walk out. And it is true durring the day I usually focus all my attentions on getting the work done, moping up milk, and keeping my lil one from bringing in every animal in the neighborhood for a sleep over. Last week he decided that he needed more ants for his ant farm. That was all fine untill the ants turned on one another and we had a room full of dead and or escaping ants.

Thanks for the giggles.

Nikki said...

Oh NO! If I saw that thing on my floor and finally figured out what it was I would yell "IT'S A HOTDOG!!" too, in whomever's ear was handy.

Thanks for the laughs, you never disappoint. <3

Frayed Edges said...

Ah, the days of petrified food...aren't they grand? lol

And no, men don't multi-task the way we do (in general) because they don't have to! lol

Susan&Wayne said...

Yes, you are so right about Multi-tasking....(you knew you were!!) HA! There is a physiological and anatomical reason for this!! (OH NO! Not another comparison in differences in the male and female anatomy!!)LOL! OK...here it is! There is a covering on the brain called the Corpus Callosum (should be the name of a city or something!). This covers both hemispheres of the brain and actually allows integration (being able to focus on many things and do different things at the same time). The Corpus Callosum in the female is 50% LARGER than the Corpus Callosum in the male, thus, allowing women to combine right and left brained activities more easily than men. Now, even though men are "smaller" than women, they can train themselves to make up for this deficit, and this has been done with people born without a Corpus Callosum, and they train themselves integration and other functions (thus explaining why some men can multi-task). But it is an anatomical truth!!

Anonymous said...

LOVING your blog! It's the first thing I go to now when i switch on the pc. Keep up the writing, you have a real talent xxx

Becky said...

Blessings in Disguise. All those crazy things our kids do now are the things we'll remember when they're grown and gone from home. They'll be the things the family discusses when they sit around reminiscing after Thanksgiving dinner.
Except mom will remember gagging at finding the nasty, shriveled up hot dog under their bed, and they'll remember trying to catch a mouse for a pet! LOL.

Funny stuff, Dawn...Thanks for the Laughs!

Anonymous said...

Hi!
I found your blog trough a friends blog who had found it trough her friends blog who had found your pocemoncards on e-bay! I find your blog hillarious and actually it makes me looking forward to having my own kids someday! Maybe not as many as you though, i´m not that good at multitasking!
Also I wanted to tell you that your blog now has spread all the way to Sweden where I and at lest four more people follow your blog!

In sweden we have a woman who just like you started out with a blog (I think) about her kids and pregnancys and just recently one of her blogbooks ran up as a movie at the cinema with her playing herself!

Sorry for my not so good English, all i read in english these days are books about biochemistry but i´m trying to get it right!

Good luck with everything and keep on writing, its a great pause in my studiesessions!

Greetings/Josephine from Gothenburg, Sweden

jeanie said...

Thanks for the flipside of multitasking! Oh, and I love jar-openers too!!

imkay said...

WHAT are Kool-aid pickles??!!!

Ladybug said...

I agree 100%! My husband comes home with different things even when he has a list in hand! LOL One day I asked him why he picked up something when I wrote something else on the list. His answer started with, "I was just thinking that..." My answer, "Don't think, just get what is on the list". That is a big joke in our house now. Gotta love him! :)

Nicki said...

You are absolutely right on multi-tasking. It works exactly the same way in my house. And that hot dog? I've found one similar underneath a chair close to my kitchen. Kinda scary when you first discover it isn't it? Shopping without children=peaceful bliss. Love when that happens.

Vulgar Wizard said...

I'm here from the Pokemon ebay listing that's been circulating the world by now, and I have to say that this is the first, and only, "mommy blog" I'll read. YOU are an excellent storyteller, and I will be back often (usually Sunday is my laundry and Internet day). And next year, when my husband and I start trying to have a baby, I will ask you for advice on everything. You have a pretty good resume with six children, and by now you've no doubt seen and heard it all. Thanks for the great reading material!

michelle said...

My son wears underwear on his head too. Must be in their genes :)

Love your blog. You have a wonderful sense of humor. That must be how you stay sane :)

Anonymous said...

Hey, Dawn, love your blog - and of course the ebay listing that pointed me to your blog. Keep up the good work :) I found another interesting item on ebay - is it yours?
http://cgi.ebay.com/Elvis-sighted-in-potato-chip_W0QQitemZ190150665443QQihZ009QQcategoryZ433QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Deb said...

I too find petrified "food" in my children's rooms. Shamefully, I think your hot dog may pale in comparison to what I've found. Oh, and my kids do the underwear hat too. Ahh, the joys of parenthood.

Madame Queen said...

Am I the only one who doesn't know what KoolAid Pickles are?

Hilariously accurate post. Men are so easily offended! :)

FarmWife said...

I sent my husband to the store once to get sour cream for the Tacos I was making for dinner (with my parents). He came home with Cream Cheese. And that was only one task at a time...

I found a black apple core in a pile of toys in my boys room this week. BLACK! Oh, and a sippy cup under the play pen with the beginning stages of gouda in it. Ugh!

You are a riot!! I found your blog by way of the Pokemon e-bay thing...my cousin sent me there because it reminded her of my trips to the store with 4 in tow.

halimah said...

That is one petrified hotdog.Once I dropped my son at his dad's for a long weekend. There was a hamburger sitting on a plate next to the couch that Friday afternoon. It was still there Tuesday morning when I picked up The Minion. Apparently the spooky food thing extends well into their 40's. One of the many reasons for our divorce..lol.

I read an article a while back on men and grocery shopping and why they shop the way that they do. It seems they tend to focus on the one certain product they are after and not scan the shelves like women. It was interesting. I found it again : http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN2518112820070527?feedType=RSS&pageNumber=1

candi said...

Perfectly put!! Even if I set out with one task at hand I end up distracted. Example, while unloading the dishwasher I notice the cabinets are messy, so I stop unloading and start organizing the cabinets. Upon organizing the cabinets I realize there is some things in here that don't belong ie scissors, hair gel, a very strong magnet my 4 yo was using to change the color on the TV, so I begin to put these where they belong. UP to the bathroom to put away the hair gel, and lo and behold there is sparkly blue toothpaste all over the sink, I reach under the sink to get a rag and find the laundry detergent I was too lazy to take to the laundry room. Down I go to put it in its place and am greeted by 43 loads of unwashed laundry. I start a load in washer and bring up the dry stuff from 4 days ago as I sit down to fold them I sit on a hammer from my husbands tool box and go to the garage to return it. It is there I find a mess of epic proportion, decide to ignore it after thinking about it for a while when I see the mail truck pass by. Over I go to get the mail, bring it in, pay 3 bills from RUDE people demanding money from me (why is 45 days late so bad) when the baby cries... time to nurse. Just as I sit down to feed him, my husband arrives home from work. He finds a still loaded dishwasher, stuff from the cabinets all over the counters, sparkly blue toothpaste all over the sink, one load washing(hey I did accomplish something), an unfolded load of laundry, a messy garage, half paid bills, and a screaming baby. Now I have accomplished almost NOTHING but attempted everything!!
Do I have ADD or am I just a mom of 4 boys under the age of 8??

Thanks for making me laugh a little amidst my daily chaos!!

plainprecious said...

Ahhhhhhhh underwear hats I know them well. Also have you seen the latest rage bra earmuffs. Maybe not since this rage is happening in my house with my 3 and 4 year olds. Oh and the up and coming fad the thong necklace!!!

As far as misplacing things. I think my all time favorite sitcom line came from Rosanne Barr. What is my uterus a tracking device!!! My kids all 5 of them think that I am the knower of all. When they lose something I have to know where it is since I am mom. And the teenagers get highly ticked off when I cant tell them exactly where their lost item is They hate it when I spue that famous line. Hate it even worse when I say hmm Lets see the last time I wore your shoes was........... NEVER!!!

Another thing that makes me laugh is when my older children ages 19, 17 and 14 use their younger siblings as gophers. Can you go get sissys cell phone. Or Noah go get my mp3 player its under clothes in my room by my bed admist the dishes youll know where it is when you see the fruit flies. They get really upset when they come back empty handed. Time to clean your rooms!!!!

Kim said...

I found you through a friend's link and you are me! Well, I mean I practically peed my pants reading your blog because it sounds so much like my life. I really enjoy reading your stuff. FUNNY!

Pro Blog Reviews said...

Dawn, I just posted a review of your blog and I wanted to invite you to stop in and read it. I welcome any comments you may have. You're Awesome,keep blogging and I will keep reading.

Billie said...

I've found a hot dog or two around here that look just like that!

Oh the shopping differences! I send my husband in, and because he's a principal, everyone in the county stops to talk about their kids with him. He gets more than what is on the list and sugar is the main ingredient in those extra-curricular items. His trips are actually longer than mine! My extras are things I can say "oops! impulse buy!" to, but really I've been trying to sneak them in the budget for weeks! My trips are shorter because with 3 kids still able to ride in/on/under the cart, I try to MOVE before they have time to get their hands on something!

I, like many others, have enjoyed your blog since your e-bay fame. Thanks for all the giggles!

Mina said...

I'm another reader who found your through your eBay listing. Great stuff! I'm a mom to 4 kiddos under 5...three boys and the baby is a girl. I have to say that I laugh each and every time I read your blog, because it's SO TRUE. Here it's not hot dogs but chicken nuggets I usually find petrified, though. :o)

And as for the multitasking...my husband and I have had discussions about that issue. And shopping is EXACTLY as you've described...I'll poke around for 3 hours when I've run out for 3 things, and he'll have a LIST and STILL forget at least one thing because he figured he could actually remember everything, so why look at the list? LOL!

I look forward to reading more of your mothering exploits!

Amber said...

Well, I for one am SO happy you found the wiener picture!

:::insert sarcasim here:::

GROSS!!!!!!!!! ;)

Theresa said...

I am enjoying your blog so much! Thank you, I realized today the it does 2 things for me, it reminds me of when my 3 kids were little. And you give me hope, I read stuff on the web and worry about hoverparents and their spoiled kids. I feel that America is going to have big problems when these kids go out on their own. Then I read your blog and feel relieved. You are sensible, loving and caring and in turn will be raising children who will grow up self relient and emotionally secure. I am sure that you don't hear it often enough, you are doing a good job of child rearing!

On kids doing weird stuff, when my youngest was 12(maybe, I forget exactly), we told him, here is a list of things you are allowed to do without asking permission, if it's not on that list, you need to ask. I was feeling frustrated,and had realized that he could invent more stuff to do than I could ever imagine. I can't remember if this is after he decided to cut a tennis ball in half and turn it inside out or make candied ginger when no one was home. The tennis ball incident resulted in 3 stitches, the candied ginger was delicious. I also realized early on, that the smarter the child, the more curious the child, the more "interesting" stuff they would find to do. Whenever I reached my wits end, I would think, at least he isn't content to sit in the corner and look at dust mites in the sunlight.
best regards,
Theresa

Kim said...

My daughter used to wear underwear on her head all the time! She loved it!

I just giggled at your comparison with you and your husband shopping. My hubby does not shop. While I was in the hospital recovering from giving birth to his second child, he did stay hoe with the older daughter (5). So, he HAD to go to the grocery store because I had not stocked up since the birth was just slightly unplanned. He did okay, however, my daughter tells me he would think of what was for dinner, go to the store and buy the items to make said dinner, even if we already had the ingredients in the house or pantry, he just bought everything needed for that one meal and repeated such adventure for all other meals.

He always jokes with me when I saw I need to run to the store to pick up X number items. He really laughs if it's only 2 or 3 and I come home with 4 bags of groceries!

Bonnie said...

I've been readidng your post since the ebay blog and I laugh out loud everytime! I thought I would post this time though because that hotdog is too scary for words. Not that I've never found things like that in my house. It's always good to see that it's not just your own kids that do the things they do. Have a blessed day.

CherylJ. said...

After over 15 years of living with him, and almost 14 years of marriage, I've learned the hard way to send my husband to the store with a LIST of items, simply because if left to his own devices, he will bring back his own version of the things I've requested. Just like your husband. Or, better yet, I'll get at least 54489352558342382345009833 phone calls from him while he's at the store, making it virtually impossible for me to do anything else besides "coach" him while he's at the store, all the while making me think that it would have just been easier (and more effective, and probably much more enjoyable) to go to the store myself! Sigh.

Like you said, though... my husband's excellent at some things. He tells people I keep him around, because his job is to "reach for the tall stuff and kill bugs". There ya go! :)

Becky said...

I have found a cousin to that hot dog just this morning in my son's crib! I like the pic of the "hat"
have a great weekend!!

four4now said...

Just wondering if you are planning to have any more children? Seriously.

SGWxchic said...

I forwarded your blog to all my family members who have children. I have 5 myself (3 came with the husband). Just WAIT until they are teenagers...

I wish you lived next door.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn! I've been subscribing to your Blog since I found your ebay auction, but this is my first comment. Just wanted to let you know that last week, I found an identical fossilized hot dog weiner in my couch. Along with 3 socks (none of which matched and imagine, I had been blaming the dryer gnome for the missing socks) a pair of 2T panties, puzzle pieces to about 4 different puzzles, various magnets, doll clothes, matchbox cars and crumbs from yet unidentified food groups and I only have 1 child. I can just imagine what you find when you get brave enough to take off the couch cushions! Anyway, love the Blog! Keep them coming and I can't wait till you publish your book. U ROCK!

Candace Salima (LDS Nora Roberts) said...

Dawn,

I just have to add one more thing. Have you ever sat the child down who slipped the Pokemon cards in your cart and said to him, "Look what you've done! Mommy's famous because of you!"

I think he deserves a Hoho. Well, then you'll have to throw him in the backyard to run it off. But nonetheless . . .

pat said...

Dawn, you brighten my day. Your blog is one of the first things I read in the morning because I can count on a good laugh when I read your (mis) adventures.
About the man/woman focused/multi-taker thing: It is just the next evolutionary step, so to speak, from the primitive ear where men were hunters (give them a task--"I'd like a nice wooly mammoth for the weekend, dear"--and they focus on the goal and do it), and women were gatherers ("Oh, look at those lovely berries over there! Wait, did you see those mushrooms under THAT tree? Hey, aren't those some wild onions?) We still do the same jobs; the descriptions are just different!
Keep up your writing. You have a real gift for finding the humor in everyday life that we have all gone through, are going through, or are dreading its approach. Thanks for sharing your perspective, and helping the rest of us keep ours.

Molly W said...

You are hilarious! This was my first visit to your blog. I read your post on EBay after hearing about it from a friend. Re: the possibility of a book, stranger things can happen. My blogging partner has written a book (along with a little help from me!), and it should be published in January or shortly thereafter. We're at http://www.whitetrashmom.com/whitetrashmom/. I write under the name of Tacky Princess there and also on family.com as Princess Peg. Anyway, great post. Love the J. Peterman reference!

Tacky Princess

Emma said...

My mom and I thought of you just the other day. I was pulling into the driveway of our home (after getting home from work/ college) and one of my younger sisters yells, "Hey Emma, watch out!" And she swings a golf club and whacks a peach in my direction. Luckily, I got out of the way fast enough. Once in the driveway, I see that 5 of the youngest (age 11, 10, 8, 6, and 3) are all hitting peaches with golf clubs across the yard. They were each polite enough to yell "FORE!!!!" every time they hit a peach. My mom just stood in the doorway doubled over with laughter.
I hope you got a laugh out of that, we certainly did.

P.S. My mom has 13 kids, 14th is on the way.

Anonymous said...

Yum-O!!

I am STILL waiting for a reprint of your Ebay Baseball listing however?!!

Thanks for the continual laughs...

AKB said...

Welcome to fame and notoriety. My father informed me this morning of your ebay posting. Sound so familiar. Glad to see that you blog in the hectic times we call mommyhood. I am sure, that from your fan base now, you'll never have to go to the grocery store with kids again. Plenty of babysitters to pick from now. I also live in IL. Have fun and I'll be reading and commenting more often when the time and familiarity chimes in. Lots of luck,
AKB

Anonymous said...

You just described me and my hubby to a tee!! I love reading all your blogs, this one I definitely related too!
Best of luck in your next adventure!!
Hugs,
Kristy

Tara said...

I just wanted to let you know that I have put a link to your blog on my blog- I just enjoy it so much! Thanks.

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

I love your grocery store example! Mine would also include getting lectured by my husband about spending more money than I should've on all the extras that found their way into my cart too. :)

Pickel said...

I used to be able to multitask an entire clasroom full of 7th graders. Now, with mommy brain I can't even multi-task a husband, a dog, and a 4 year old.

Good luck!

Beverly said...

If I knew how to leave a pic of a hat my now 2 1/2yr old grand daughter made when she was around a yr old I would. It was a cute diaper hat. She has her fathers sense of never ending humor. Love the hat, does it come in different colors? LOL..

IamDerby said...

My husband is a 911 dispatcher (a job requiring much multitasking) he agrees with you. He says very few men work 911 because they dont multitask well. Women, he says, much better with the multitasking. ITA! Funny blog you have here.

Roxi1 said...

My dad CAN multi-task! He can eat and ignore us at the same time!!!!lol!!!

Anonymous said...

Men multitasking......funny!! I sent my husband on one errand today and he's on his third trip to get it right. I simply wanted him to deliver a baby crib and mattress I sold to the buyer. The first trip he forgot a part of the crib so he came home to pick it up. He checked his email and headed back out. Understand the trip is about 25 miles one way. So he gets to his destination the second time and realizes after checking his email he failed to put the missed crib part (not a small part) in his truck so he is really mad now!! He's throwing a fit about how he had planned on watching football today not running the roads- hummm not anybody's fault but his.

I love reading your stories!!

Anonymous said...

I love the reference to J Peterman. A quote from their website: “People want things that are hard to find. Things that have romance, but a factual romance, about them.” So fitting for the hat. Have you ever noticed a few of the higher-end retailers begin with the initial "J" (J. Crew, J. Peterman, J. Jill...the only ones I can think of) but put the next letter in there and it goes down a few notches (K Mart...)
I love your blog. Truly original. Thanks for making the time to entertain all of us.
(By the way, when we have multiple things that need fixing on the car, I now make a list that I tape to the steering wheel for the mechanic. I found that when there were more than two things that we told him needed fixing (which is normal for us...about 10 average) he would only fix the first two items that we mentioned. He does good work...when he remembers to do it!)

Kelly said...

Ok, so the fact that I have been making my husband read your blog has backfired on me! Actually I read it to him, but I make sure he listens! Anyway, your grocery shopping scenarios were right on. When we are deciding who's going to make a quick trip to the store, my husband usually vies for the opportunity! If he goes he will get only what's on the list and be home in 20 minutes. If I go, I will get more than what's on the list and be gone for at least an hour! Now bear in mind everything I get will be useful, but not necessary. My husband is constantly getting after me for what I'm buying and how long it takes! I thought maybe he'd feel better and accept it easier if he saw that I wasn't the only one who did this! I was wrong!

jc said...

Dawn, Despite what that guy said, in general you are right. I am one of those men who focuses intently on one thing at a time. I don't like to change focus either, which is why when I am reading your blog and my wife is trying to talk to me, I have no idea what she is saying. If I am working on a project, do I care if the kids have created their own amusement park in the living room with all the mattresses and cushions in the house? Nope. Not until I am ready to nap on the couch anyway ;)

Anonymous said...

Dawn,
I read you blog everydat just love you stories keep up the good writing My husband makes a list of things he wants so I won't forget his stuff.

thatgirl said...

Now, see, I multi task and still finish before my hubby. I've yet to figure out why it takes him 30 minutes to go one block to the grocery store for a gallon of milk.

Dettao said...

I just discovered your blog through a friend and read your Pokemon story on Ebay. I am the oldest of 7 children and I still remember all the comments and stares and questions my mother got whenever we went anywhere. My brothers and sisters and I would all hold up seven fingers every time we saw people start to count. YOu are hilarious. Thanks for making my day and bringing back some memories.

jim said...

As a father and husband (and son-in-law to one of your biggest fans!), I have to admit -- you are right, and you're brilliantly funny. Keep it up!

ellinghouse said...

If I send my husband to the store, it better be for less than 5 items, or things will get messed up....as you know!

Sassy said...

My 15-year-old son was wearing his underwear on his head this evening. I guess some kids just never outgrow it :o)

Balancing Act said...

What you do on a daily basis is far and above multi-tasking. As far as my husband goes. He will attempt the multi-tasking but I then find that alot of things have been started but never finished. But he does laundry and vacums!

All moments remembered said...

I have been busy with one dad having a heart attack, one hubby passing a kidney stone and getting all of my kids into school this past week so got behind on your blog!! Don't they all know how much I depend on coming to your blog for a good smile? Gee wiz!!
Oh and both men are all better now!

You are soooo right! Few men are good at multitasking!! My hubby is so one of them. I laughed so hard reading your blog today. All very true stuff.

How did your Good Morning America interview go or did you have that yet?

You know with all your free time I think you need to take up scrapbooking! LOL!!! Okay when you pick yourself up off the floor from laughing so hard come check out my blog or store sometime. www.allmomentsremembered.com I am spreading the name everywhere I can. Of course hubby said I still have to go find a job next week outside the home. ICK!! Do you need an assistant? PICK ME PICK ME!! :)
I look forward to catching back up on your blogs today!!
Happy weekend to you and your family!!
Stacey

Nelly said...

I think I'm more like your husband than you. I'm an exception to the "rule" if there's any such thing. Some people think it's a big deal, but I don't. Some even suggest I might be gay just because I prefer action films to romantic comedies. Silly huh? But you're right, I have 4 sisters and from what I can tell, I'm definitely NOT "normal"...which is alright.

Cecily R said...

This is thus far my FAVORITE of your posts. Not that my opinion matters. It's still my favorite. I could swear you know my husband. Do you know my husband?

http://www.mychaosmybliss.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

So what I am hearing is DON'T go into my son's room to locate the source of that 'eye tearing' smell that knocks me off my feet every time I pass his room....

Mmmmmm .. He's away at college now. I wonder if I can just hold out until he comes home for Thanksgiving break and let him find the dead 'whatever.'

I mean ...... really, it isn't THAT bad if you breath through the toxic mask I bought a few years back.

korkie

Anonymous said...

Love the way you have with words, your blog is now an addiction, need to check in to see whats new everyday with you...
You mentioned about getting published...have you ever thought of putting some of your work in a simple small pamplet printed from your home printer and selling them on ebay??? From the looks of your ebay folks bit on things just because we appreciate your writing...take care and keep up the great works of art!

FosterMom said...

OK - what's with the new craze of KoolAid pickles?!? My grandma made some recently, and I must say - why? As I'm biting into this extremely red pickle, I'm tasting cherry - cherry? - who knew a pickle could taste like cherry? Yuck!! Maybe this has to be an acquired taste. I don't know. It struck me as very wrong that a dill pickle would look and taste like a cherry.

I love your blog and your stories. I'm a mom to three under 3, with 2 boys that are 9-1/2 months apart - so I can really relate to a lot of what you write about!

allie said...

I LOVe that you added the "not really a J Peterman hat" at the end...although the rest of the story is funny and made me smile that little bit between the parathesis made me laugh out loud!

MBKimmy said...

Only a MAN would complain about a blog ... that is meant to jsut talk what is on our minds ... now if you would have dawged out all woman we would have laughed at ourselves ... okay not all of us but I would have!

That hot dog is DISGUSTING!

janisfan said...

I am so buying your book. Get going mama! I can't wait.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dawn & All,
Thanks for all the fun and laughs you have given us all! And the COMMENTS are just as funny!!!!!!
But, seriously , WHAT ARE KOOL-AID
PICKLES? Are they anything like the kerosene pickles Aunt Bea from the Andy Griffith show made?
God bless,
Elaine

Gigi said...

You shop at wal-mart don't you? he he

Anonymous said...

i agree, men generally dont multitask well.
love the hat on your boy too. my girls love those kind of hats. hehe.

Vicki & Bruce said...

I wish I had written down all the crazy things that happened in my house with 11 children! I've heard all the questions about all my children at the store as well! Wish I had had your quick wit to answer them! Thanks for the great stories of REAL, everyday life of stay-at-home moms!

wendy said...

i love you.

bonni said...

I hope you didn't really get angry emails from disgruntled males who objected to a generalisation about multi-tasking. It HAS been scientifically documented, and probably by men who were only doing that ONE THING at the time (and very precisely!). :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the memory jogger by posting your son's pic sporting his latest headwear fashion. Actually it is a 70's retro look. I, along with my cousins, often crawled around in the attic (snooping, of course)with tidy whities atop our toe-heads. We were afraid bats might want to make a nest in our hair because our great aunt would alert us of this at dusk when we were children. We looked through the leg holes and used the "pocket" as as a gas mask so we wouldn't breath in bat poop fumes. Sad thing is I was (and still am!!) a girl wearing my cousin's underwear(I don't still wear his underwear, although I do find my husband's boxers to be very comfortable for sleepwear, just not headwear). Now that I think about it, I just grabbed the nearest underwear I could find when we went on attic adventures. I can only pray they were freshly laundered and just had not been put away yet. Oh, and the hotdog, I thought it looked like a corpse's severed finger!! Maybe I am morbid and have seen too many C.S.I. and Bones episodes ;-D Keep up the brilliant work!! Looking forward to placing my advance order for your book and of course your nightly blogs!

Michael Natale said...

The shoe salesman clearly must be both single and unmarried.

I am living proof that men can only do 1 thing at a time. If I am on the phone and one of the kids starts talking to me, I literally can feel my skull start splitting right down the middle.

Usually my wife runs to my rescue and herds the kids off, while talking on her phone, cooking dinner and vacuuming all at the same time.

SJ said...

Kool-Aid pickles? Please explain.

Anonymous said...

Well said. My husband knowing that I shop like you do will purposely be the one to go to the store when we really "only" need a few things. As long as I write it down he will generally come home with the right stuff. If there's no list, I get what I get because he will forget! Mine like yours gets in and gets out and doesn't buy anything not on the list - very focused. I am simply not capable of that and he knows it. However, he can't multi-task because if I send him with coupons he will come home with them still in his pocket because it was one too many things to think about! So what's worse - him spending a little more on the three items we need because he didn't use the coupons or me using the coupons but spending more because I buy more than the three items we need? So you're right, neither method is wrong, just different. I love your blog and look forward to it every day.

peppypilotgirl said...

Are you sure L@orena B@bbit hasn't visited your house lately?! Seriously, that mummified hot dog was easily the most revolting thing I've seen today. (I have a toddler; there are lots of revolting things going on in my house.)

Including underwear accessories - my 2 year old daughter pulls my undies (dirty or clean, she's not picky!) out of the laundry basket to wear around her neck like some sort of post-modernist necklace.

Anonymous said...

LOVED the wedding pic! Although I can't BARE to go without my "dogs" being covered, I EXCLUSIVELY wear RUNNING shoes! As a matter of fact, I have declared them to be SEXY, SENSUAL, and APPEALING! No more "Joan Crawfords" for ME! And who had the GREAT IDEA of putting the POINT of the shoe in the middle??? Does ANYONE in the world have a third toe as their longest foot digit??? SHEESH! It's like the now illegal practice of FOOT BINDING! If enough women had your courage and sensibility in regard to FOOTWEAR (or lack thereof), we could form a WOMEN'S FOOT LIBERATION LEAGUE! Yeah, that's the ticket! FREE the FEET!

Nancy Binky
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE-DOOOOOOOOM!

*BB* said...

OMG you are too funny!

Jimi said...

I LOVE your blog. The hot dog looks totally disgusting! Much like the piece of string cheese I found under my child's bed when we were moving him to another room. The kid would wake up in the middle of the night moaning, "Cheese. . . I want cheese!" Thank goodness those days are over!

Keep up the good work. The first time I read your blog I thought, "The new Erma Bombeck!"
I even heard Kim Komando mention you on her computer radio program this weekend.

Take care and God bless you and your family.

roseys madhouse said...

My husband is pretty good if he goes to the supermarket WITH A LIST he will get whatever is on the list but if I tell him to get something for me he will need a list otherwise he comes home with things he needs and nothing that I actually needed lol

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose husband literally cannot hear me speak when he's watching TV, even if it's just a Campbell's soup commercial or something!

Mich said...

OK, I need to know who this dude in Passaic, NJ is! I used to live there and I still live close, LOL.
Going back through your hundreds of comments to see if I can find him...

Tanya said...

Oh my gosh, that hot dog part IS so gross! I would have jumped around if I saw that in my son's room. The underwear hat - too cute and stylish too. Ha!
Tanya

Paulette said...

I have to tell you that the underwear hat has been around since my time as a kid (70's). We actually wore them as ski-masks though. The crotch is centered on the face as a nose cover and the leg holes are eye (yes very large) holes. My mom still has a picture of my brother,me and our 2 cousins in our ski-masks that we got for xmas one year! - It's GREAT to see that the underwear hat is making a style comeback!

kate somers said...

on the subject of women multitasking... my husband is a biomedical engineer who used to specialize in neurosciences... when i was pregnant with my second child he went to a conference and attended a lecture by someone ( i can't remember who ) who was presenting a paper about the effects of pregnancy on the brain. I always suffer from a serious case of the "pregnancy stupids" when i am pregnant and am constantly having to apologize for not remembering my own name ( let alone little what's her name i'm supposed to have with me at the store... or did i get a sitter???) anyway, the gist of the lecture was that when we are pregnant portions of our brain actually shut down to build new neuropathways to support the amount of multitasking that we are going to have to do when the baby is born... this is all caused by, you ladies out there know, hormones... so when we are pregnant we are physically incapable of remembering little what's her name's name, but once that baby is born our brain is irreversibly more capable to multitask... isn't that amazing!! God works in such wonderful ways. So, Dawn, after having 6 children, you are a much better multitasker than any man who has never been pregnant. And better than most women as well. Congrats!

Shan said...

Like so many, I linked your ebay auction to my mother, who raised 6 kids of her own. I'm the eldest at 28, youngest is currently 15. Mom still has 3 more years of mom-ness before the last birdie leaves. she also has NINE grandbabies already. crazy. look forward to that ;)

I had to comment on this post though, because I have the opposite prob with my husband. I plan on shopping because I work crazy hours, i'm oncall 24-7, etc. (I'm in IT) so I seldom shop, and it's usually a big one. I pick up the random stuff, but plan on it.
I'll send DH to store for say, diapers (I use cloth, but anyway) milk and bananas. he'll be gone for 2 hours (the store is a whopping 5min away) and bring back wipes, shampoo, strawberries, 8 boxes of triscuts, toothpaste despite the 8 boxes I bought in bulk, banana flavored snack cakes, a gaming mag, 3 gallons of milk in 1% when I buy 2% for me and whole for the 3yr old, uhm....

I try not to send him. Esp if i'm trying to cook something and need him back in the next decade. How a man can goto the store for 3 things, get most wrong and take 2hrs for 2 bags of food, i'll never know.

Mamma said...

Kool-Aid pickles??

♥jaien said...

Wow. alright; so i came across your blog through my fathers email to you're pokemon ebay post. I'm fourteen; and i've always wanted eight kids; but everyones told me not to have mroe than four. reading even this one post has just made me want to have the eight that i've always wanted. i admire you so very much. honestly. good luck; keep the world posted.

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