Monday, August 27, 2007

You're Wearing THAT?

In the days BC (before children) I'd see kids in the store wearing the most crazy outfits and I'd think to myself, 'What on earth were their parents thinking???' Now that I have kids of my own, I understand. Kids like to dress themselves and it just isn't worth fighting over.

So, your child wants to wear a red velour sweat shirt, purple plaid pants (I'm not sure why anyone would have purple plaid pants to begin with...), yellow knee socks, snow boots, and a tiara in July. As a parent you have to pick and choose your battles. Generally it's best to save your energy for the more important things such as when the kids want to build a spaceship from parts they’ve taken out your car, or when the kids decide it would be a good idea to paint their bedroom door with nail polish. Stuff like The Hitting My Sister With a Smelly Sweat Sock Repeatedly Battle, or The He's Looking At Me Battle, just aren't worth the effort.

I've actually decided to stop buying new clothes for my kids. My oldest son wears the same nasty old T-shirts day in and day out. It doesn't matter that he has a closet full of nice, new clothes. I'm sure his teacher thinks he's an orphan. And when I take the shirts away and toss them in the garbage, they somehow magically reappear in his drawer again and again. I’ve given up on jeans lasting more than a week with him. Apparently there’s some sort of mysterious force field at school that causes perfectly good jeans to get holes in the knees because that boy can’t manage to keep a new pair of jeans intact for more than a day.

My oldest daughter has nothing to wear. Again, she has a closet full of beautiful, untouched clothing, but I guess the clothes are invisible to her because when she opens her closet door, she sees nothing. She, more often than not, opts to wear my shoes as well. Hmmm maybe I could go raid HER closet for things to wear. I'm sure I'd look quite stylish in her little skirts.

My middle son spends most of his day just hanging out in his pajamas, or occasionally his underwear. Maybe he's onto something. I'm sure it's very comfortable to walk around in nothing but your P.J.s. Can you imagine the look on the poor mailman’s face as I answer the door in my undies? I’m sure I’d make quite an impression at the PTO meetings!

My middle daughter has never worn a normal article of clothing in her life. She only wears bathing suits, leotards, and princess dress-up clothes. At the grocery store she walks on her toes while twirling down the aisles wearing her Cinderella dress. She wears her mermaid Halloween costume to the doctor's office and she dons enough jewelry to make Mr. T. jealous.

My youngest son wears whatever I pick out for him. The only problem is - he likes to dress himself and 99% of the time, he puts it on backwards. I mean, he's got a 50/50 shot of getting it right, yet his shoes are always on backwards and his tag is always sticking out the front of his shirt. I have no idea why this is.

Finally, the baby doesn't care what she's wearing as long as she's got on shoes. First thing in the morning, she wakes up and brings me her shoes to put on. Before I change her diaper, I must slip shoes onto her feet. Pajamas and shoes. A diaper and shoes. Just shoes. Imelda look out.

Yep, I'm going to save thousands on clothes. Hey I just might be able to take early retirement with savings like those.

223 comments:

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katef said...

Oh yes! BC I rolled my eyes at mothers like me... now I am the one with the matching pair of three year olds in the supermarket wearing nothing but their gum boots and a princess tiara!

Anonymous said...

This is so funny, My DD could not, COULD NOT go out side without her tiera. We have lots and lots of wonderful pictures of her with it on. My son on the other had has no problem wearing the same clothes down to his underwear more than once. He is always surprised when I remind him that he wore those clothes the day before.

Bree said...

my daughter is 3 and going into the crazy clothes phase. She'll wear whatever shoes she can get her hands on and if I let her she would wear her "ballerina" dress to preschool everyday. lol
I'll have to loosen up some for sure!

BTW, you should find a babysitter and go see Nanny Diaries. If you feel like a slacker mom EVER you wont after you see that movie. :) The mom's in that movie are HORRID!

Porter Family said...

My 3 year-old always has his clothes on backwards. Even his skivvies...you'd think with a major wedgie he'd get the concept and turn them around. I wonder if anyone has done a statistical analysis on the probability of every article of clothing going on backwards all the time. I mean, really, it should inevitably work out to be 50%. Have any of your kids ever been so stubborn that they decided they would rather throw up than eat one measly piece of dinner (that happens to be their favorite)? Just wondering. Keep up the great blog. You are hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Ture story. When my 3-yr-old (who's now 5) started wanting to dress herself in ensembles that were crazy, pyschedelic, shudder-inducing...I gave her a large sticker, made from an adhesive name badge, which she proudly wore on those whacky-fashion days. It read: HOORAY! I DRESSED MYSELF TODAY! Sometimes, if the outift was *really* bad, I put the sticker on her front AND her back. :) myspace.com/amanda314

Heike said...

I refuse to buy new clothes for my kids. First off, they cost more than mine, second, they don't last as long as it takes me to pay them off. I am the thrift store queen :)..When my oldest was a bit younger, she would test her daddys' endurance:

http://goddessinthegroove.com/spirit/queenandi.html

Enjoy ;)

Anonymous said...

My daughter Sky is the same way. She is 6. Swim suit all the time. I try to hide it and she will find it. I could hide it on top of the roof and she will find it. In the winter she will sneak on her swim suit under her school clothes. Its as if they have chemicals in the swim suit that are released into her skin and shes addicted to it. Maybe soon we' ll have an intervention.

Keren said...

Counterintuitive as it might seem, the crazier the outfit your kids wear, the better off you are. Why? Because my daughter (4) is also insanely picky about her clothes (my mother's revenge on me) and she always wants to wear outfits that are just a bit too small, just a bit clashing, but just normal enough that people might think I dressed her! At least with those really wacky outfits, the fact that your kid dressed him/herself is obvious!

For some reason, this same daughter will refuse to wear a beautiful new outfit that I offer to her day in and day out, until one day, just as the outfit has become too small on her, she decides that it is the only outfit she will wear.

And as for my 20 month old, we call her our refugee child (sorry, not PC) because she likes nothing more than to run around with only one shoe on. One time, as I was strapping her into her car seat after leaving DSW (I know, the irony!), I had to run back in and scrupulously comb the aisles to see where she had chucked her other shoe!

Anonymous said...

Oh I feel soo vindicated!! My 4 yr. old daughter loves to wear dress up clothes or last years halloween costume. It does not bother me a bit but my mother in law is just so persnickety! How dare I let my daughter where that in public! I'm like you, why waste the energy for something like that. Thank you!

L M said...

For some reason (probably because I don't have to parent him!) I find Spaz incredibly endearing. Also, I had to giggle at the Imelda comment :)

cameragnome said...

Well, I once went to the grocery store with Batman Jengo Fett. Yup, my son, who was about 5 at the time, decided we couldn't go to the store without wearing his Jengo Fett costume, with a batman cape, my sunglasses, his monkey hat from the zoo, and green Chuck Taylor's I have a picture if you want to see it.

This is also the same kid that insists on wearing sweat pants in 85-90 degree heat.

Neasa said...

Ha ha. My 2 kids (3 and 8) often (read:always) run around naked. I think it's great that you (and I) have made our children comfotable enough in their own bodies to be able to do that. The 8 yr old has started wearing pants while doing his streak through the house or neighbourhood (bless!)
My DD wears a party dress every day. And you know....why not?!! Loving your blog. x x x

Trish said...

I know you have a lot of these to read, and are terribly busy, but the one about your youngest son, spaz, made me laugh. I think it's a 3yr old boy thing. Although my son not only wears ALL of his clothing backwards, he also changes clothes more time then a broadway star. Every time I turn around he's got something else on. Half the time it's mine or my husband's t-shirts and he's yelling "LOOK AT MY PRETTY DRESS MOM!!"

My husband warned that two older sisters would damage him...wonder if they do pre-registration for the gay pride parades?

Trish said...

Oh, and I forgot to add, my 9yr old daughter dresses like a homeless person. It's been 90degrees outside, and she tries to leave for school with jean and a sweater on. HUH??? Or dirty clothes, or clothes that don't even match. One day she went to school with just one sock on because she couldn't find another one. ???? And she's constantly telling me she has nothing to wear. Now, I understand that laundry is not my strong point, but really, odds are with as much clothing as she has, there's got to be something. I've even had her start doing her own laundry, she still has nothing to wear. Kids!

im1blessedmom said...

Maybe if you put your sons clothes out for him inside out, he'd get them put on the right way. lol! Just kidding.

Anonymous said...

Been there done that! With 4 kids we have had every crazily concocted outfit you can imagine, including naked. When my 11 year old was 4 and younger he would not wear clothes unless we were going someplace. He would come home from pre-school and there would just be a trail of clothes from the front door until wherever he ended up naked. To make matters worse he used to like dancing in the front window. Most of our neighbors are retired with grown children so it was no biggie to them, thank God. Oh and we never got visits from those door to door people or church groups so I say sweet justice let 'em dress how they want!

Anonymous said...

My daughter always puts her clothes on backward. She's 3. I took a funny picture of it actually yesterday and posted it to my blog which is at amyhummel.typepad.com

Just thought you may be interested.

Keep up the great blogging!

Anonymous said...

I am # 2 out of 5 kids. I grew out of dressing up everyday. For about five years. Now I'm 22 and have been known to wear my petticoat from my wedding with a long pink and red striped glittery skirt, combat boots, and a corset. Sometimes I spray glitter in my hair too. I rarely wear make up though. This is a lot more outrageous than anything I ever wore as a kid, except maybe on Halloween. My husband is about the same way. I can't wear stuff like that anymore now that I am 7 months pregnant. It just doesn't fit. Everyone keeps telling me that my kids are going to be so normal. :)

Anonymous said...

You are simply amazing. And I thought I was the only mother to a budding hugh heffner (6 year old lives in pajamas --even wears them underneath his regular clothes to school at times). I have to add you to my site so I can keep reading. Amazing.

MollyC said...

Wow, all I can say is you are ONE TOUGH COOKIE! Dealing with six kids and you've managed to keep sane. I have three and OMG, at times I just wanted to sit there and cry. You have a knack for writing, I agree with alot of people, write a book.

Anonymous said...

Dawn;
I agree about picking your battles my son was a very colorful dresser when he was young as a matter of fact he won "the most colorful dresser" award in Kindergarten. However he is now 26 and just walked in with a lime green pair of pants on. I'm still hoping that he grows out of it. ha ha. Love your blog can't stop laughing oh yes by the way my 26 year old is a really great human being so I always thaught if what he wears is the biggest problem I ever have with him I have no problem wouldnt you agree. thank you
keep those stories coming.

Anonymous said...

My daughter will not leave the house unless dressed like a princess with a tiara on her head. I have the school photo to prove it!
Hey, wish I could do it!!

Erin T. said...

LMAO! When my youngest daughter was about 18 months old I'd get her dressed in the morning - complete with shoes - and by the time she toddled out to the living room she was in nothing but her diaper... and shoes!

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