Monday, August 27, 2007

Cicadas, and Caterpillars, and Squirrels, Oh My!

Here's my favorite comment from today.

WOW! It is parents like you that make some people wonder why parents don't spank thier

HUH?

kids anymore.

Yes, well it makes perfect sense to beat a child for wanting to dress themselves.

It really makes me want to never have kids, ever!

It really makes me want you to never have kids ever too!

But then I watch those tv shows where Supper nanny always reforms the misbehaved and thier

There's that word again. ???

clueless enabler parents

Ah yes, The Supper Nanny! She not only cares for your children, but she cooks dinner as well!

People are funny.

My kids are funny too. But in a good way. :)

My 3 year old came in from playing and announced, "Look at my friend! Can he come inside?" I looked around wondering which neighbor kid was over this time and upon seeing nobody, wondered if he'd taken up imaginary friends like my 6 year old. Before I could question him about his friend, he thrust this in my face.


"Ummm, let's just keep this "friend" outside, buddy."

I suppose it could have been worse. It could've been this friend again...



Or this friend....



My 3 year old jumped up from the table where we were having lunch and ran outside to get his cup that he had left on the swingset. I continued to eat, while conversing with my 6 year old when she suddenly says, "Spaz has a squirrel!"

"No, he doesn't. He just went outside to get his cup."

"Yes he does. He's carrying a squirrel."

"Don't be silly. Eat your sandwich."

"Mom, really, he's got a squirrel by the tail."

I get up and look outside and lo and behold, my 3 year old is indeed carrying a squirrel by his tail. As I open the door to scream, I mean, calmly, tell him to put the squirrel down, the neighbor's dogs run outside and begin barking so loudly it sounds like a kennel. The squirrel freaks out and tries to jump out of my son's hands which makes my son, in turn, freak out and nearly throw the squirrel. I witness, in slow motion, the squirrel kind of fly through the air and land safely on the fence. I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it.

"Yeah, sure honey, you can keep a rabid, baby rodent as a pet. Let's name him Skippy and keep him forever. Don't worry about the fact that he chewed through our garbage cans. It'll be fun."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Fox19 Morning News interview was this morning and I didn't throw up or pass out so all went well. They don't have a link to the interview, but the news people only spoke to me via the telephone for about 2 minutes, so you really didn't miss anything.

Tomorrow morning, I'm doing an interview with 103.5 in Tampa at 8:30 Eastern time if anyone in FL listens to that station. The St. Petersburg Times interview is supposed to be in tomorrow's paper as well.

153 comments:

:::b r a n d i::: said...

LMBO! So you've got yourself a little hunter?

Shelly said...

Too funny!! A 3yo catching a squirrel - who would've thunk it!! That made me laugh ;o) - hey, good picture of him too!

Anonymous said...

Your days are so much more fun than mine! OR maybe it's just that your days sound fun because they're not happening to me??

Well, whichever, I'm glad the squirrel is on the fence and the cicada is on the front step and that we both know how to spell THEIR.

Anonymous said...

May I please, please be your next door neighbor? Or at least play her in the sitcom you're going to have in development soon? I make an excellent sidekick.

I'll even play Supper Nanny if you need me to.

k1 said...

Awww, the squirrel was cute! I had two orphaned pet squirrels, Gus and Murphy, many years ago, and while playing with one of them, he got a bit over stimulated and bit me.

Had I not shook my hand trying to shake him loose, I'd have had a small puncture wound and that would have been that. BUT, every time I shook my hand, his razor sharp little teeth sliced a bit more flesh. I ended up needing 7 stitches to close the wound.

The GOOD news is that the Doctor told me that squirrels do NOT carry rabies, and I didn't have to get the rabies shots.

PS I'm glad your commenter doesn't want to have children either.

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog after a long hectic day with my 4 under 4 because I usually need a laugh!! Thanks for delivering again tonight!

My 3 1/2 year old used to love caterpillars and cicadas and spiders - they were her "friends". Just recently she has started to re-think her position on these creatures. I think she is starting to realize bugs and spiders are gross - she is going to take after her Mom. Earlier tonight she spotted a spider in the house. In the past, she would have said "Look Mommy, it's my friend, Mr. Spider. He's so cute!" And my response was always "Yes honey, he's so cute - now go tell your daddy so he can kill it, I mean see it too. Quick, go get him now!" But tonight, her reaction to the spider was different - she wasn't sure how she felt about him. She looked very perplexed and she was very excited in a frantic sort of way. She said he was "icky" and she declared "I don't like spiders, Mommy. Do you like spiders?" Before I had a chance to respond, her 2 1/2 year old sister comes running in "mommy, can I see spider? Oh look, mommy, he's so cute!" I am freaked out by spiders - but I don't want to destroy their innocence just yet! What's a mom to do? Gotta suck it up, right? (Literally, with a dust buster when they weren't looking!)

Anonymous said...

My god! sorry I don't know how to email you (does ANYONE?)
Someone linked me to your ebay thing (sorry its late, and im retarded, ha ha) about the pokemon cards and I am OFFICIALLY addicted to your blog! you're hilarious! your kids are even better! Can't wait to read your book (and I don't even have kids and I can appreciate all of this!)

But I thought of this video When I read your stories:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VVn27YXEWho

hope you love it as much as I did!

Lissa said...

LOL! Love reading about your everyday life! Reminds me of when I was a kid and my brother and I would bring home critters until they were "found" and released back in the wild...never caught a squirrel by the tail though! LOL!

Congrats on the interview! The site I belong to posted a link to your auction and we all had a great laugh ;)

Steph said...

I found your blog/ebay account today and read the whole thing. I think you are hilarious! I am from a family of 8 kids and I remember pressing my fingers into the plastic covered ground beef in the meat section as a kid. Your stories are all just so true to life. We got spanked all the time and we were still a crazy, roudy family. I'm so glad to see your blog and all the mom's who have signed on to say that yes, people still want to have families and work hard to be good mothers. You are terrific and I will keep reading! I will also buy your book when you write it :)

stop by my blog anytime :)
www.stephandjosh.blogspot.com

Tanya Brown said...

"WOW! It is parents like you that make some people wonder why parents don't spank thier kids anymore."

Gosh. Isn't it nice when people write supportive, non-judgmental comments? Almost as nice as when they use a spell-checker, I'd say.

Anyone who has six kids, keeps them fed and semi-clothed, and isn't catatonic has my respect.

Anonymous said...

Wow... And I thought my kids were cucko-nuts. Now I know what our house will be like if we add any more : ) You have a great sense of humor with your kids - truly!

Anonymous said...

reminds me of the time my kids convinced my husband to keep a mouse that we had caught in the house in the mouse trap. It's one eye was gone from the trap ( i know a little gross)so the kids called him Winky. Yes, he was still alive and although had lived in our house for weeks, he now lived in the garage. Are we nuts?

Shelley said...

Hilarious!!

Reminds me of the time my 3 year old son (now 19 years old!) brought home a sweet little 'snakey' for me to see.

Needless to say, freaking out was NOT an option and the fact that he has indeed made it to his 19th birthday is ample proof that everyday adventures with your kids is what life is all about!

By the way, I abosolutely LOVED the Ebay excitement!!! After spending quite a few quality moments explaining the ground rules prior to shopping trips only to have carts tip over because someone was reaching for a 'no-no', eggs be tossed from the cartons to see 'if the chick inside can fly yet', and contraband carefully disguised under the mountain of baby wipes for the ride home only to make a U-turn for a full and unsatisfied refund process --- it reminded me why I CHOSE to become a mother.

It's far better than an amusement park and children mean so very much more than words can ever adequately describe. It's always an adventure in your own home raising a family.

Thanks for sharing your life with the masses (myself included!)!

God Bless!

Unknown said...

Ha ha,I know your kids would get along so well with my 4, my kids love squirrels, but haven't been fast enough to ever catch one! And that caterpillar is so freaky, ours don't look cool like that one! Reading your blog makes me happy, and not so alone in the mommy world. Thanks for brightening my days!

Anonymous said...

Please!!! Spanking/beating a kid is a great example. here let me hit you but dont you hit anyone. Please. Do hope she doesnt have kids. Your kids crack me up as they are close to home. Today it was lightsaber fithts while the disco ball was doing it's thing. Love the sense of adventure and freedom of personality you allow your kiddos. Makes them fun and secure kiddos.

Marissa L. Swinghammer said...

I found your clothing stories to be quite endearing. Especially the baby with the shoe obsession. As a soon to be mom (any day now please) I am curious about what my child's little personality quirks will be and how soon they will start to show themselves.

I came into contact with a person online who thought it was perfectly normal that her dad would catch raccoons and keep them prisoner in a large cage. And that raccoons and other wild animals are no more likely to have a disease than cats or dogs. Freaked me out! Glad you didn't let him keep the squirrel.

I love your blog and am so glad that I found it.

Anonymous said...

Too funny!!! Love your blog.
There always has to be some negative people in the world but then again, that's what makes us all appreciative of the "real" ones! You are a terrific MOM :)
Rhonda

Mo said...

What kind of parent are you, letting your kids be kids instead of little robot adults?! I'm with ya sister!!
My son wanted to catch a raccoon to have as a pet. Hubby and I had to explain rabies to him. I don't think he was dissuaded. But it was HUBBY who wanted to go home and get the bug cage for an impossibly large insect they spotted in a grocery store parking lot. *sigh* kids....

Kim said...

I guess you're a lousy parent but an excellent speller! Sarcasm, here, by the way. I know you know sarcasm! About the kids dressing funny, someday you'll be "old" and they'll think you dress funny too. Payback. How you'll pay back the squirrel, cicada, and caterpillar, I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure you have an inventive mind and will find a way. Just make sure you blog about it for our enjoyment!

Webb Family said...

I bet you were happy your 3 year old didn't make it to the kitchen!!! That is a great story!

Anonymous said...

You take some great pictures! You should add photography to your list of many talents! Congratulations on all your success!!!

Stacey said...

I just found your blog and it is so funny! Now I will have something to look forward to reading every day. I must be entertained! ;)

All hail Spaz the squirrel hunter!

Martha said...

(random comment: my parents spanked me. But never for my clothing choice. WTC)
I love the squirrel catching. That's great. I once saw a woman catching moles. but that was a grown woman! Not a child.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your replies to the comments at the beginning of this post. I am never so bold out loud. :)

Since having children I have so much more grace. My children are well behaved but that doesn't mean they don't dress funny or do crazy things. I have really enjoyed reading about the wonderful individuality of your children. It helps to know that I am not alone.

Lynette said...

Wow, you're becoming quite popular. That little squirrel is pretty cute. I hope it survived its traumatic day. :-)

ck said...

lol...they recently had a casting call for Super Nanny in my town. Now really, who voluntarily signs up to be embarrassed on National tv? Don't get me wrong, I would definitely not turn down a nanny, just not a televised one!

Your "comment" poster obviously has no children.

My adventure today was taking my two middle men to an appointment that lasted three hours! Of course, I had the baby with me too and you don't know joy until you've chased a 3yo and 4yo in opposite directions around a crowded waiting room for three hours while trying to discreetly breastfeed in public. Thank goodness for slings, but really! Can't you save the misbehaving for bedtime like usual?

Oh, and things you never thought you'd hear coming out of your mouth: "Strawberry Quik is not bubblebath, we do not BATHE in our drinks and we do not DRINK or bathwater!"

Anonymous said...

Best wildlife incident of our summer with 4 boys:

"Look at this bird I caught Mommy"

"Ethan, don't play with dead animals. Put that in the trash can."

"But it's alive."

Think to self: Of course no 4 year old could catch a live bird...

"OK then honey, just put it back where you found it."

Child puts bird back on lawn under a tree....and then we watch as the bird looks around and flies off for less dangerous territory, like a skeet shooting range or 8 lane highway.

All moments remembered said...

Please tell me that someone didn't really write those nasty comments? WOW!! I guess I live in a cave and had no idea anyone would bother to write to someone they don't know and just be plain ole mean and nasty. I am a mom of four and let me say I think you sound like a wonderful mom!! Gee wiz!!! Sorry you have had to deal with a few meanies out there.
Glad your interview went well. I would have thrown up!! :)
As for your 3 yr old hunter, wow that was a good catch. How cute is that? You need to scrapbook that story!! Like the lady above said I want to be in your sitcom when it goes on air!!! My neighbors all think I am a little nuts and a whole lot of fun!! Oh and YES my kids are perfect angels too! :) wink wink!!! Thanks again for making me smile with your blog!!!
Can I tag you???? If you go to my blog site and look at my latest blog you will see what I am talking about. I got tagged the other day. I have to find 5 people to tag and I think your answers would be a blast!! Plus I am so new to blogging I only know a handful who have them.... Heck it is all I can do to get hits on mine!!! My husband read mine tonight for the first time because I made him!! :) Anyways if you want to accept my tag you copy the questions on my blog and put in your answers and then pic 5 others to do it too!!
Thanks,
Stacey

Anonymous said...

I do not understand these people who think your kids are misbehaving. These are the people who started the Riddelin trend. Lord forbid a child be active and inventive. I'll just stop there I can only think of four letter words at this point.

Keep doing what your doing, I love your stories and I think your kids are great!

Ghia said...

Oh my goodness...you need your own reality television show!! Your blog is like internet crack!! :o) I'm addicted!

Hillary said...

Thank you for helping me try to look at the happier side of being a mom. I love being a mom to my 4 kids but, man, it's hard. I love your outlook on life.

My mom (mother of 7) has said you are the next Erma Bombeck. I couldn't agree more. Thank you for sharing your life with us other moms!

Anonymous said...

raahhhhh that is sooo funny. I love bug/animal/caterpillar stories.

And don't you totally wish some people (aka those who wrote those stupid comments) hopefully won't breed.

Have a fabulous Tuesday!!

Cheers,

Lee :)

Amie said...

I totally get the kids dressing themselves thing...my kids always want to dress up in their super hero outfits. Or wear long sleeved clothes when it's 189 degrees outside here in Phoenix!

You pick your battles is right!

(Keep up the good work--don't let those weirdo commenters change you one bit)

Anonymous said...

I LOVE reading your blog! I too (like hundreds and hundres of others) found my way here from your e-bay auction......I can so relate to a lot of what you write about (if I had the talent I too could have written a similar grocery shopping experience!!) I have 4 children, they are 6, 5, 3 and 17 months.......my 3 year old is my child who MUST dress herself, just yesterday she pulled off a feat that not many could (or would want to!), she wore a red plad kilt, with a hot pink top....it worked for her!!!!!

Your blog is my 'home away from home'......and I love that there are other 'clueless enabler parents' out there for me to relate to!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have twin boys and they are... to put it mildly; a handful. To be truthful, they are a two man huligan riot and I have more than once toyed with the idea of putting them up for sale on e-bay (who knows maybe they'll do as well Pokémon-cards?)
Those who are most oppinionated about the boys are always those that don't have any kids on their own.
So why is it that those who don't have kids always think that they are the best and foremost experts in childrearing?
I have spent a lot of time wondering about that.

By the way, does the supper nanny cater Sweden as well 'cause I'd sure like to have someone take care of our everyday dinner dilemma.

Thanks for a great blogg!

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if this wil get thru - but would U pls put the St Petersburg Times interview in you blog for us that live overseas. I know my husband and I would like to read it. Thanks

Julie
Australia

Anonymous said...

grammie here, but mother of six...and I can only begin to cover the "may I keep it?" stories... chipmunks, clams, frogs, dogs, cats, fish, birds, snails (yeck), rabbits, squirrels, hermit crabs, worms (yeck again), ant farms...and so forth! There is (as opposed to "thier") a whole world out there in a child's eyes...and sometimes we need them to show the world to US!

Emily said...

Man...your 3yr old has got skills if he can catch a squirrel! Hard to do, hard to do...

Not like I'd know...
Or anything...
::Shifty eyes::

Just stopped by to tell you LOVE the blog!! I love kids SO much, so I can't even remotely try to understand what Ms. "Supper Nanny"'s got up "thier" behind when it comes to kids...
::shrugs::
I understand, there's mess. LOTS of mess. So much mess, you wonder why the world hasn't started tipping out of its orbit from the weight of the mess! I understand, kids are LOUD. They're noisy, messy, and absolutely 100% worth it, when it all comes down to it. :D
Keep up the good work, both with the blog, and with your kids!

And yeah, I've been guilty of the whole "He's looking out my window!" fiasco... :) My poor mother...I don't know how she ever survived my (me? mine? Oh the words! XP Haha) and my brother's childhood.

Anonymous said...

Spank kids for wanting to wear odd clothes??? Oh, there has got to be a better way! My kids can be finicky about clothes too, but I can't spank them for that! Ever think about the double standard we have for our kids? Of course, you did bring up that you can't answer the door in your underwear, but we all have days we don't feel like wearing certain clothes or eating certain foods. Finding a good alternative aka choosing you battles is much better than resorting to whacking kids around because they don't conform to your idea of 'normal'.
My 2 cents...

Tesajb said...

I realized today after reading this that my CAT is a bigger trouble maker than my 6 year old son.

At least your son didn't EAT his catch =P.

Anonymous said...

Wow! You really had someone say that stuff about you??! Man!
'cos really - I'm thinking you do such a good job I think my two would be a whole lot better off with you! That or military school. Do they take 3 year olds?? Definitely 6 yr olds though right?! :)
Seriously - thank you for such a funny part of my day - I might try more to think of your *adventures* as I open my mouth to yell at my kiddos next time :)

Qtpies7 said...

Hehe! Too funny! I'm glad you are getting so much publicity, you wrote such a wonderful story in your auction. Maybe you'll even make enough money to get your own Super Nanny.
Speaking of which, I just read someone blogging about that show, and she pointed out how nannies are teaching parents how to be detatched from their kids, like NANNIES are supposed to be. Why are people taking parenting advice from nannies? It is not the same thing. The episode that got her going was one getting a mom to stop nursing her child and to get the child out of the parents bed. Not necessarily a bad thing, but if it works for your family, why should a nanny have a problem with it?

Whew, I better get off the soap box before I start something.
I was planning to comment on the squirrel. We raised some squirrels when our cat killed the momma. It was a lot of fun. Eventually they got old enough and escaped.

Evonne and Darren said...

Awww... we want to see your interview on TV!

Hildigunnur said...

heh, at least you aren't swamped with comments like that idiots' one.

Anonymous said...

Greetings from Sweden - I love this blog and your lifestory! I want to see a family photo, is that possible?

Anonymous said...

I used to be a nanny, I worked all over for all kind of kids, the best kids I ever had were three girls (that alone was bad) and 5 dogs 3 cats too many guinea pigs to count and two horses plus manic cigarette smoking parents, they drove me nuts each and every one of them, it was the best job I ever had. Your kids sound like they're going to grow up into well rounded decent grown ups....eventually lol.

My redneck hunting fishing boyfriend from Fort Lauderdale was one of 7 and he has some horrible stories to tell, your kids will be fine....one day.

Anonymous said...

Do you know what section in the St.Pete Times? I don't get that paper, but can view it on-line.

Thanks!
~Holly in FL

Lox said...

I'm so glad I found you!! I have a daughter (age 4) who loves mixing patterns and is often seen wearing skirt, long sleeve jumper, winter tights on a hot summer day. My son (age 2) is mental about dresses, especially his sisters, and often combine them with googgles.

I'll do the wave for free clothing!

kay said...

i don't understand why people think you need to spank your kids. from what i have read they are not doing anything that a normal child would do. (well maybe the diaper cream story...) but you can't punish your kids for being kids. they don't sound like mean, hateful children. actually they sound like they love each other and are a help around the house. keep up the good work and the great attitude!!

Anonymous said...

My sons (3) just had their pet squirrel, "Squirrely" die! They had him for 7 days. My husband knocked him out of the nest when he cut down a tree. He was maybe 7 weeks old. They visit his little grave out in the woods every morning.
I knew you and I had too much in common! That picture of the squirrel just proved it! You crack me up!
Keep it up! I need my daily laugh!
Thanks,
M and my 4 boys and male dog too!

Anonymous said...

Ahem... Supernanny reforms the misbehaved?? What? Who thinks that a child wanting to express their personal style & creative side is misbehaving? Give me a break!! Must have been the woman with the children that NEVER embarrass her in public. HA!!

I've read a lot of your past blogs, and I haven't seen a lot about your kids actually misbehaving. Sure, they get into things, but if you never specifically said "Don't get into the diaper cream and smear it in the carpet" how are they to know? BTW--my middle child did that when he was 2 y.o. and his sister was 2 months. AWFUL mess!

Sounds like you're doing a great job! Love your posts, and have added you to my favorites. Thanks for the entertainment and the reassurance that I'm not doing 'it' wrong!

AFSister said...

No.Way.
He CAUGHT a SQUIRREL?????

Holy cow... The most exciting thing that's happened around here lately is the kids yelling "CLAIRE CAUGHT A SNAKE!" Claire is our CAT. And yes, she caught a snake. The kids freaked out when they saw she was playing with the injured animal, made me rescue it with a frikkin' hockey stick, and hide it in the bushes to recover.

*shudder*

Carla said...

I want you to come over right now! Let's have a playdate! Seriously. I think you "get" the difference between naughty and just doing childlike things because thier DOH they're children.

Unknown said...

I am terrified of squirrels. No kidding. That was like watching some gory freaky horror movie right before work. :)
(I hope there are a lot more comments telling you how wonderful you are. Also, I'm glad they will never have children, too. Jerks.)

Anonymous said...

Just like everyone else, I heard about the ebay thing and started reading here each day! I totally agree with you on the clothes things...I used to think that BC, too. But now with a son with autism who DEFINITELY beats to his own drum and a very creative daughter, I have decided that clothing is artistic expression and who am I to squelch that? By the way, I get the "are they all yours" too and I only have three...I guess if you have more than two children, its unbelievable!

I love your story...its just fantastic when something like this happens to someone out of the blue, like it has! I hope you get that book deal and million other great things! Keep rocking on and forget about these stupid people that keep saying a myriad of stupid things! Doesn't anyone remember their mother teaching them "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all"! ? !

Have a great day!
deb
www.caringbridge.org/tn/wells

Unknown said...

Oh, I think I would have freaked out if my son brought me a bug and asked to bring it into the house...I don't do bugs!!

Anonymous said...

Here is the link to the St. Pete Times article.

http://www.sptimes.com/2007/08/28/news_pf/Features/EBay_listing_a_bid_fo.shtml

Anonymous said...

What is the name to the article in the Tampa times? - SC

Vivian M said...

I actually would not mind a Supper Nanny, there are days I have no idea what to feed the masses!
Look at the bright side, at least your kids don't pick up dog poop and bring it to your attention...my two year old did that.

Jen said...

OMG I'm laughing so hard right now! I just read this to my husband and he sat there shaking his head.

Mom*2*5*princesses*&*2*peapod*girls said...

I actually feel compelled to defend the squirrel...why, you ask? Let me tell you...my husband and I (several years ago BK(before kids)) went to the park. I thought it would be fun to feed the squirrels peanuts. They were so cute and funny. I actually had one sit on my lap and STAY there. Yes, he was a sweet one, that is, until he missed the peanut I was holding and chomped down on my finger. He held on as I swung my hand around like a mad woman trying to shake him off. The poor little guy finally decided it wasn't worth it, and he let go...scampering away. I'm sure he was probably as traumatized as I was! I ended up having to take a little trip to the hospital to get it checked out. After a bandaid and a tetanus shot, I was fine. The doctors told me that squirrels rarely, if ever carry rabies. So, worst case scenario, your little animal enthusiast would have ended up with a tetanus shot. You never know, you might have a veternarian on your hands! ROFL!!!

Bald Headed Geek said...

Found your blog through that absolutely hysterical post on eBay about the Pokemon cards (having disposed of many of those wretched things, I can relate!). It is absolutely wonderful, and as the father of four, I cam relate (sort of!) to your situation!

I have linked to you on my blog, and please, by all means, find a way to get yourself to Hollywood! A genuinely funny sitcom would be the inevitable outcome! :-)

Anonymous said...

I hate comments that say you need to displine more or that you need the supernanny.. hell I would pay to be your nanny.. as long as I don't have to clean or cook.. well as long as I do not have to cook and you help clean. lol. it would be a blast to be a part of your life. I have a seven year old and a five month two week old. I am no where near exciting and eventful as you. I do; however, have some stories you might find funny or just downright sad. It is sad to see that alot of mothers out there don't relize what it is like to be a real family and admit to it. Looking forward to your next blog.

Anonymous said...

The Supper Nanny. I love it. Where can I hire me one of those?

I hate the spanking debate with a passion, but I still find it amusing that it came up because of a post about your kids wanting to dress themselves. Why can't people just leave someone elses parenting decisions alone? (Unless, of course, the child really is being harmed). And somehow, I don't think someone wearing a Superman cape around every now and then is harmful, but hey, thats just my take.

Vanessa (from Canada)

Anonymous said...

My you are becoming quite famous! I adore your sardonic sense of humor. And HELLO! Did you forget that people who don't have kids know everything about raising them??? DUH!

Anonymous said...

I am streaming your interview with Skip RIGHT NOW!! I can't wait to hear what you sound like! :) I'm sure it'll be great! I live in Tampa, by the way (and my DH used to work with Skip... not important). Aww man, they're playing Keith Urban before they talk to you... oh well. It's a good song, and I'm patient, so I'll wait. :)

I'll come back and comment again when it's over.

Anonymous said...

There are some things, the globalisation did to us. One is "The Super Nanny" - same concept, same name, different face over here in Germany.

And the same people who watch th show...

Beth said...

My husband's grandmother fed the squirrels on the front porch. One she tried to catch and it lost it's tail! {OUCH!} Poor thing! The thing kept coming back for food though - that squirrel was a fixture on their front porch for years.

The vision of the flyin' squirrel of Illinois launching to the fence is priceless!

Anonymous said...

That looks just a *little* bit like a DEMON LOCUST. Gah.

Anonymous said...

Locking yourself in the bathroom was a smart move. It was a great interview! I'm sure you'll get lots of hits on your blog from Tampa today!! Congratulations!

Becca said...

You totally rock, girl!!! I have a four year old girl who I think must be a clone of your Spaz! We must vow that they NEVER meet! The two of them could produce little hybrids that could very well take over the planet someday!!
Keep up the good work! Your blog is a delight!!!

Becca
www.studiothirtyone.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

This was a great way to start my day!!! Thank you for the laughs. Hubby got a chuckle out of it too.

jayedee said...

ahhhhhhh hate mail! that's it! it's official! you are famous now! LOL

AND your fan base seems to include some of the best products of the american education system too! now don't you feel special?

keep on keepin' on girl! (or should i say grill?)
you rock!

morninglight mama said...

Who else but a mom can appreciate the world of cicadas, caterpillars and squirrels? You may be raising the next Jeff Corwin! (Hey, this could totally work to your advantage-- wacky wildlife tv personalities probably cash in!)

Anonymous said...

As a mom who looked out her back door to see her 4 year old daughter dressed in a princess dress and play high heeled shoes...carrying two dead mice by the tails(she took them from the cats) I can understand this soooo much. I had her toss them into the field and wash her hands for twenty mins. OK I MIGHT have over-reacted just a touch.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that they have to bring the animals home?
With my son, it's every form of reptile. Of course, if his dad didn't catch them for him.....

Ignore the naysayers; they only wish they could be like you!

Anonymous said...

I have never seen a caterpillar like that. Day glow green, must have some from the Radioactive Boy Scout.

How many more days until school starts? My favorite commercial is Staples when they play the music "It's the most wonderful time of the year". The father is dancing in the aisles putting school supplies in the cart as the kids are behind him with long, sad faces, moping along.

Have a great day!!!

Anonymous said...

Here is a link to your article in the St. Petersburg Times newspaper.
http://www.sptimes.com/2007/08/28/Features/EBay_listing_a_bid_fo.shtml

Enjoy!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Dawn...

You've only been blogging two months and THIS happens? You have no idea what a coup this is (or maybe you do ;) ).

I picked up the ebay link from another blogger...and my first thought was not "Does this lady have a blog?", it was "What is her URL?"! I KNEW you had one...I'm sure all bloggers knew, lol.

Precious post (the ebay "description")...it was freakin' hee lair.

You've got some talent, girlie-Q, and obviously, at least six muses. I stopped at three...I cannot imagine six...I just can't count that high.

Mine are now older now (10, 13 & 15), so there are no more pet bugs or squirrels...do I miss those days? lol...what, do you think they've driven me slap-ravin' mad???!

I've bloglined you...I'll...be...back! :)

Anonymous said...

Here's a link to the Staples commercial.

http://www.advertisementave.com/tv/ad.asp?adid=372

Anonymous said...

The comment by the all knowing parent who really isn't a parent is soooooo funny. I love hearing from those who have no kids tell us who actually have kids what we are doing wrong.

I never thought I would've said this but I actually love, LOVE it when my DS brings in his new friends from outside. I have learned so much, like yes catipliers will dry up if you don't give them some water when you put them into a bug finder. (Who would of thought it!)

I really enjoy your blogs, it makes me feel normal.

Anonymous said...

Lol, that crazy comment was OBVIOUSLY made by someone who doesn't have children, but definitely knows how to raise everyone else's!

As a mom of five (9 and under), I completely sympathize with your trips to the grocery store, and battles over clothing. I have not yet had to deal with my children destroying a produce section display, but I don't let the 3yr. old out of the shopping cart, either, so I'm pretty sure that's why. Dh did have our oldest son puke all over the floor of a Home Depot once, though, and that has to count as an embarassing public moment, right?

I think it's sad that someone sees spanking a child over clothing as a viable option. Yes, I do discipline my children as necessary...for outright disobedience and meanness to one's siblings, but not for just being a child.

You're doing a great job keeping things in perspective, and keeping your sense of humor...much better than I do most days. I like to come here with a cup of tea at the end of a hard day and laugh at someone else's kids for a while. Thanks.

Lee-Ann said...

LOL that squirrel bit is funny! I love reading your blog daily. Good luck with the interviews!
Lee-Ann From Ontario Canada :o)

Anonymous said...

Here is a link to your ST PETE TIMES article ... http://www.sptimes.com/2007/08/28/Features/EBay_listing_a_bid_fo.shtml

Anonymous said...

I'm totally convinced that people who think that kids' normal behavior should be "reprimanded" with a healthy dose of spanking were either beaten close to a bloody pulp, or thoroughly neglected as children. I know my parents grew up in the generation where "spanking" was considered normal discipline practice, and seeing as how there were six children in our household, there were some pretty inventive ways to administer those spankings. Personally, I've gotten a hand across my face (as well as other body parts), a leather belt across my bottom, and a wooden hairbrush over various parts of my body. Of course, such behavior today would necessitate a call to DSS, but back in the day, it was appropriate (even expected) for such disciplinary tactics to take place in a "normal" household. I, for one, am glad that things have changed. Sure, I've swatted my little ones on the behind ONCE when they've done something really bad (like my little one, getting a small tub of Vaseline in her hair... yep, she got a swat on the behind for that one, for sure!). But, I'd much prefer talking, time outs, and taking away things they cherish. It makes for a much healthier, less abusive environment... and the cops don't get called that way!

We don't have such things as cicadias or whatever those green things are (ew!) in our neck of the woods. But, I have been asked if we can keep various earthworms, several different varieties of bugs, and even the resident bunny (who pretty much lives in our backyard) as pets. The rabbit proved too much of a challenge though... he can never be caught! The answer, to all of the above, is a resounding NO! I'll stick to cats, thanks!

Good luck with your interview tomorrow. You're becoming quite the celebrity, aren't you? ;)

xox C.

JenLo said...

You are such a cool mom...I'd have been obsessing about the rabies tidbit until eternity!

Anonymous said...

Some people are crazy! Let's just hope she doesn't have kids.

I love your sense of humor about your kids. You make the rest of us feel normal. Please keep writing. I'm addicted to your blog...and even the comments. My hubby is beginning to wonder if I've gotten an online boyfriend!!

Anonymous said...

Hee hee, gotta love Nature Boy!

Aw I thought they were going to do a televised interview, that would've been cool.

Too bad I'm commuting during 8:30am, I'm not in FL, but the station could probably be accessed online. Hope it goes well!

Susan H said...

Hi, I'm one of your blog readers and - yes - I laugh until my sides hurt when I visit... chalk me up as another one!! Today's story of little Spaz reminded me of our crazy incident three days ago. (I have two boys 7 and 8, if you count the hubby I have three boys!) My eight year old came into the house just after a rainfall with thirteen toads wriggling in his shirt where he'd decided would be the best place to "gather" them. He asked me, "where should I put these, mom?" - ummmm, OUTSIDE - yea... sheesh. And hopefully before you no longer have them under control!! He wanted to "save" them from our dogs - who would have certainly had a ball chasing them around the yard. Thanks to you - - and your other posting fans here - - I don't have to ever worry about "feeling" alone. The challenges and many adventures in raising my boys with a good sense of humor is heightened when I have your blog to escape to with my morning cup of coffee. Have a great day!!

AdventurerMom said...

i wish i could have supper nanny over, cause i really, you know, hate to cook...
:)
isn't english the best!

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog via your e-bay auction someone e-mailed me. Absolutely hysterical. Today's reminded me of a few weeks ago, when my kids found a dead baby mouse in the yard. I had to dig a grave and hold a mouse funeral in the back yard in order to deter my 3 yr old from keeping it in a ziplock bag in her room. We also have a giant ziplock bag full of cicada shells which absolutely can't be gotten rid of. And these are girls! Anyway, I'll definitely buy your book. Thanks for the laughs.

Kim and Jeff said...

As a mother of four all under 12, you just crack me up every day. I am so glad that I am not the only one who experiences craziness like this all day long! Thank you for showing others that it is better to just laugh about it than worry and stress about it!

LittleBirdies said...

The comment you posted really bothered me. I really don't get some people. I guess that's why you posted it, to show us that there are some crazy people who should never be a parent.

I have 2 little boys (4, 2 1/2) and you just don't fight when it comes to clothing. My 4 year old dresses himself and more often than not, his clothing is backwards or inside out. But he's dressing himself, which is one less thing I have to do in the morning rush. My little one is quite opinionated in his clothing too. He may insist on wearing his striped socks when they don't match at all, but it's just not worth the fight.
-------------
My kids saw a snail on a wall and my 4 year old asked if we could bring it home as a pet. It took some convincing to tell him that that it would probably die.

BTW--how did your son catch a squirrel?

Anonymous said...

LOL,
Since someone forwarded me the auction, this blog has now become a daily haunt...and the clothes thing...my middle child wore her swim suit top with a mini skirt all Jan-March...grandma was quite amused, since she came for the birth of the third little suprise in March...but took her to school that way...
So, here's to creative dress...and moms and grandmas who let their(correct spelling of the word!) creative spirits shine and smile about it!
Mom to 3 in very cold Nebraska!

Anonymous said...

Where did you get the names for your children. They all seem like cities or places? Nic names too?
You are very creative.
Love ya!
M from CT

Anonymous said...

OK, so here's what I think. I'd rather see your fun, funky, artistic, imaginative child in a groovy outfit of his/her own picking that some little precious darling with a great big bow in her hair, perfectly clean/pressed/matched dress/tights/shoes or a little boy in a little plaid shorts outfit with cutie white socks and shoes (that screams "go ahead, kick my sissy a$$!") any day of the week. And yes, I got my fair share of whoopin's and I don't cheat, steal, kill, etc. Keep up the good parenting! (don't you just love comments?)

Colleen said...

Read you in the St. Pete Times this morning - while I was locked into my bathroom, enjoying 5 minutes of peace and quiet!

Victor said...

Wow. I would like die if a cicada was near my house :) How about a cat or dog ;o

Anonymous said...

Thank you for not making me feel crazy for wanting a big family! :)

Anonymous said...

I just got done reading your newspaper article. I'm disappointed they didn't add your nicknames for the kids! 'Spaz' and 'Princess' just say so much more about a kid than Savannah and Clayton. Congrats on all your success. Blessings to you and your family!

daina said...

I absolutely love love love you!!!!!I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and take care of a three year old four days a week. My son is like ten of the three year olds (the boy I take care of is very calm, it's actually a little creepy sometimes) You make me smile and make me realize why i want to adopt more. Some days it's a little hard to see those things. Your kids are awesome and it's wonderful to be able to make so many people laugh and smile just from your daily routine!

God Bless!!
Daina

Anonymous said...

I understand the squriel thing completely. I have four boys and the oldest was bitten by a squirrel last jan. Why you ask? Because he wanted to pet it. So i had to chase down this squirrel that the dog attacked because it bit one of her kids and put it in a box. Than we are off to the er to find out what to do. 600.00 later and a dead squirrel it didn't have rabies and the oldest got a shot and was on his way. So far some kids playing with wild animals never goes away. Not even at 12.

Anonymous said...

I read the St. Petersburg Times article today. I usually don't buy or read that paper, but I bought it just because your article was in it. I check your blog a couple of times a day just in case you added something to it. I appreciate your humor. Even though I only have 2 children I know they can be trying, adventurous, humorous, and so worth it! Thanks again for brining some humor into everyday life!

MorningSong said...

As usual!! I am laughing!! haha

I love the rabid baby rodent pet! Hilarious! Don't you love how stupid people feel so free to 'guide others' in their quest as parents, or life in general!! Thanks for sharing!

Ashley said...

its moms like you that make me think every day I can do this too. If you can handle six kids anywhere let alone the store, I think I might be able to handle my very spirited three year old with out resorting to violence. Even when she does try and sit on her 5 month old sister

Anonymous said...

Okay, my cousin just forwarded the auction one and I died laughing! I had to make a mercy trip to Walmart for school supplies with all six of my kids on Monday and wanted to come home and commit death by chocolate. If I simply had 1 penny for every time someone asked me if all those children were mine I'd be living in the lap of luxury! Do they honestly think we would take them all in public if we were not legally obligated? Thanks for bringing a smile to my face! It is so nice to feel normal! Most of my friends have 2.2 children and think I'm from Mars! Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

A warning story from a childhood animal charmer to the mother of one...

One Saturday when I was eleven, I went upstairs to my Father and asked "Daddy, if I catch a hawk, can I keep it?"
My father laughed at the idea that I'd be able to manage such a feat and said indulgently, "Sure honey, if you can catch one, you can have it."
I then invited him down to the garage to see the mature, hurt, red-tailed hawk I had managed to carry home wrapped in my sweater. The dog and I had managed to corner the poor thing against a neighbor's house and subdue it. I also managed to purposefully avoid talons and beak - I watched a lot of Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler in those days - and with the confidence of a kid, I knew what I was doing.
He just looked at the huge bird perched on the storage shelf in slack-jawed disbelief!
My mother, upon arriving home from work that afternoon and discovering that I'd fed it 2lbs of her ground chuck look at Dad with frustration and said, "Why did you tell her she could keep it? Damn it! If she ever comes and asks you if she can have a bobcat, YOU TELL HER NO!"
I called the Game Warden, county animal control, and the zoo, and no one was willing to take the hawk from me. So we wound up fostering a hawk for about a month until it had recovered enough to leave.
So if you ever hear, "Mooooom...if I catch ____ can I keep it?" TELL HIM "NO!"
They still have the photos of me and BigBird and huge poop stains on the unsealed concrete of the garage floor as a souvenir 28 years later.

Then, there was the half-grown coyote pup......

Anonymous said...

I was curious as to what your children's names are? You always refer to them as "my 3 year old, My 6 year old, I wanted to knwo what their names are?!

LOVE YOUR BLOG!

Afton said...

Sorry, Super Nanny doesn't get any love from me. If she's so great with kids, why doesn't she have her own?

Oh, could be it because she realizes that life with kids is much more than an hour of neatly edited footage?

A Nanny can quit, a mom is forever!

MP said...

squirrel whisperer ???

He has to be, even my Tiger of cat can't catch a squirrel!

Anonymous said...

Ah, I love your pick for comment of the day. Its obvious that the poster does not have any kids. Some day, she or he will look back and feel like a real dink for posting that.

And if they never have a child? Well, they missed out. Sure, having kids makes you crazy (Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids) but it also makes you complete. I know you understand this, your blogs make that very clear.

Keep up the great work, and the fantastic blog that keeps all us other moms laughing!

Missy said...

Sorry about the negative comment. You sound to me like a great mom! I love your blog. Can't wait till my son is old enough to start bringing home new "pets" every day! :) The joy of motherhood!!

KATE said...

I know you have so many comments on here, you'll probably not see mine. However...I just have to say you ROCK! And, you're nice "people are funny" I would have said People are STUPID, & especially the ones with NO kids but who KNOW it all! I love your blog & can't wait to check out the article online! Thanks! - Kate

Anonymous said...

For some reason I am getting hits like crazy to my site from yours and I have no clue why! LOL. I'm not complaining though because more traffic is always good AND it reminds me to come read over here.

You're doing great and it's alot of fun to read your posts.

Anonymous said...

Don't let anybody say you aren't doing a good job! I love reading your blog, you are an inspiration! Whenever I am at the end of my rope with my son, I just have to read a bit of your blog and I instantly feel ready to take on anything again!

Just wondering how your family is taking your new-found fame. I hope they are behind you 100%! And I hope your kids aren't upping the ante so you have more material to write about, haha!

Matchbox Mom said...

Dawn,
Everyone has different parenting styles, I guess. I'm not defending those comments, but I guess they either aren't parents or they have a different parenting style...let's just hope it's not abusive, eh? I'm so sure you beat your kid for choosing the wrong clothes??? What kind of person does that?!
On the upside, it is only 930am, and i've already heard things like, "mom, would you wash my cow?" and "Mom, would you tape my gun holster?" Now when my kids ask for crazy things, I laugh thanks to you. The old hum drum of the day is brighter because you have lightened things. Thank You for making the women of this world feel like we're not 'just moms', but real people that are amazing 'mothers'. I truly do appreciate it!

MJAZ said...

I wonder if the person who made those comments (is it okay to asanine on the internet?) is the same guy who I was arguing with last night on an online forum. He had the nerve to say that people with more than one child are not thinking right and overpopulating the planet. That no tax breaks should be allowed in fact we should pay more taxes the more kids we have. HA..okay I reamed him a new one. I felt like pointing him to your blog, but then again he'd be a rather nasty little thorn in your side so I'll spare you :) Love your posts, they let me know that I'm not the only one with crazy kids! 3 under five and going crazy myself :)

Anonymous said...

You know you've made it big when you get trolls!

Way to go on the interviews.

The rodent friend story reminds me of the time my middle child came upstairs, and, said, "Guess what's behind my back?"

I told him I had no idea, and, he revealed a bunny.

Yes, a rabbit. He had caught a rabbit.

Angela S said...

Seriously. I have a three and a half year old and 18 month old. If my 18 month old must feed himself then I'll pick my battles (and the reasons my neighbors get to hear him scream) and let him feed himself regardless of the mess. If my three year old wants to dress himself, in backwards pants and baby's shirt over his shirt and go to a public festival this way then I'll let him b/c he's happy. He needs to learn to dress himself and I need to chose how often each day I'm going to yell/chastise and make him feel bad. I prefer to save those occastions for something that matters and is really important in the scheme of things. Those people that make stupid comments like you blogged either don't have kids, have very depressed and unhappy kids or are just bad parents who don't know about the whole picking your battles thing. Fooy on them.

boogmonster said...

I have to say that I have just learned about your blog because a friend of mine sent me the link to your ebay auction. You are great! You really should write a book because the way you write is something that everyone can appreciate. You stay in good humor even with all of the things that you have to deal with as a mother. I am new to the blogspot things but I am starting my own. I have four boys, two of which had severe ADHD.

http://hippomomma.blogspot.com/

I really would like to get to know you more. I have so much respect for your humor and the fact that you can keep it with six kids and their antics. I will have to tell you some of mine. As a matter of fact I got a flat tire this morning, someone thought they would put a screw under the tire. What a shock, it popped it and he is surprised?

I hope to continue to read more.
Jennie

Blythe said...

omg a squirrel? Too funny!

Anyway, I googled and found your radio interview on the station's website so anyone outside of the area who wants to listen here's the link.

http://www.us1035.com/cc-common/podcast.html

Great blog!

Chris Durnan said...

Okay so this post about the Squirrel and the bugs brought back memories. I had to send my brother and a friend your blog just so they could read it. Your blog makes me take a moment to slow down and read every word.

Enjoy!
Chris

Anonymous said...

When my oldest was 5 he brought in a handful of worms that we HAD to keep. After coaxing me to pet the worms (who wants to pet worms to begin with?) he smooshed them in his fat chubby little hands, to see what would happen. He also kept a pet rock that he named 'Stoney' (makes sense) until I caught him teaching 'Stoney' how to hit the wall and nearly break my window. Kids are great aren't they... Now he's 14 and thinks he's invinsible and drives me nuts with him having all the answers, but I wouldn't trade him...

Beth said...

He caught a squirrel!? That is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Oh man I can so relate to you! I have 3 children ages 7,6, and 5. Im also deaf so im sure u can imagen all the wonderful tricks and scams they like to pull!

Chaos-Jamie said...

Oh, don't you love people who think they know how you should live your life? Rude, rude, rude, rude, rude! As if their (thier!) comments will enlighten you to the better path.

You are a strong woman. I would have dissolved into a heap of tears. Humor, people!

And if my 4 year old could catch a "Hammie" it would make his year.

Anonymous said...

okay, so you've already got a billion and twelve comments, but its amazing to me how many childless people feel comfortable labeling parents "clueless" and "enabling" in the same breath that they say "if I had kids..." For the record, what I've read of your parenting philosophy sounds pretty clued-in and empowering :) Keep on keepin' on.

Anonymous said...

OMG. Just chocked on my coffee. I so know this one. Only with mine it was bugs, mostly slimy things. She one time tried to take a slug home. It was GROSS!!!

Anonymous said...

Okay, now I am green with envy! Is that the caterpillar of a luna moth that you rejected? What I wouldn't give for one of those! I love to raise caterpillars and see them emerge into gorgeous butterflies and moths!

Okay, I know--that's weird. And I do understand an aversion to creepy-crawlies in your house!

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend forwarded your site to me. I can relate. I have four kiddos and they are an adventure. This summer we spent getting rabies shots because my 8yr old son "rescued a bat from the sun" and got bit in the process.
I stopped putting my hands in their pockets when I found the dead tad pole and crayfish.
I would buy your book. I love knowing I'm not alone in this adventure in motherhood.

Anonymous said...

Let's see the "Super Nanny" spend a year with one of those families, without a production crew, wardrobe assistant and makeup artist following her around. Seriously, like she knows what parenting is about.

bigwhitehat said...

Your 3 year old must be quick.

ACMills said...

Ok .. Miss Teen South Carolina must have written that comment .. 'such as' ;)

If you didn't catch it .. http://youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

Have a great day.

Jen said...

I guess I should be relieved that my son only brings rocks in the house to (break my dryer) uh, collect.

jewels said...

I have tears in my eyes reading your posts! I just read your ebay listing....halirous! You go Mom!!!

Christopher James Pierce said...

Please write a book! Some of the best America authors have had no formal training. You're blog is awesome, makes me feel bad for my mom :p

Anonymous said...

Once, when my youngest son was very young, while checking pockets for the laundry, I found a live toad. He had just recently came in and was getting ready for a bath. My loud scream sent him running to see what was wrong. When he saw the problem he said, "Oh, is that all, can we keep him?" / Well fast forward about 10 years and we moved into a new home, there was a white, yes, I repeat, a white toad in one of the restrooms in the shower stall, I called to my son to come and get this thing out of here for me, and when he came in to see what I was talking about, when he saw it, he screamed!!! Things do change. The memories are priceless, keep writing yours down. I wish I had, but thankfully, your blog is bringing them all back. Thank YOU!!!

*Tanyetta* said...

i am so happy for you. i honestly hope you can make some good money while the coals are hot. i am rooting for you :)

razlfratz said...

Hey--Congrats!! I live in Tampa, Florida and caught the article in the St. Pete Times as well as the interview on US103.5 this morning. Skip did not read all of the post that you had on Ebay when you auctioned of the Pokemon cards, so am glad they had the article in the paper. I am not a mom--daddy of two daughters and have three grandchildren.
I have emailed the link to the Ebay article to my brother so that he may show it to my mother who is 91 years. I am the second oldest of 6 children so I am sure that she can relate to your blog quite well.
Read your blog this evening and being familiar with the writings of Erma Bombeck--yours fit in pretty well with hers. Good lock in what ever is in your future.

Anonymous said...

Oh! Don't you LOVE the "friends" that they bring around or imagine?
(My 3 year old was carrying around an imaginary friend named "Mattress" last week ;)).

The bugs are the best ones. My oldest son had an emptied butter dish full of ants that he kept for awhile(hidden in his room of course, until most of them got out and he HAD to tell me he was hiding them in there). Lately it's been the spider in the windowsill that him and my 2nd born have named "Martha". Martha never leaves her freaking web because my darling, darling son goes out and catches bugs, disables them, and throws them in the web for her.

You have no idea the carnage that lies in my windowsill lol.

Monson Family said...

I am pregnant with my first child... and you scare me to death! (Just kidding!)

Anonymous said...

I didn't want kids for years, and still know a couple of other people who don't want them, ever. I at least realized I didn't want them because of fear. I needed to meet a guy I could have enough respect for and confidence in, to actually feel I could reproduce and not end up raising a kid alone or worse, with an incompetent goob. I joke about only driving a two-seater, so can't have more than one kid. Where would I strap any more down? My husband and I have already raised step kids in past lives. He's 47 years old now and I'm 35. He had his vasectomy not long after our daughter was born. We've not cried so hard in ever. Now, what's done is done and we're fine with only one. She was crawling around the kitchen, wiping the floor with her peanut butter sandwich earlier, and got really upset when I threw it away. Maybe she wasn't upset that I threw it away. She was infuriated that I said, "No," to another one. That signaled bedtime. By the time her teeth were brushed, she'd forgotten she wanted another sandwich, and screamed about her shoe that was left in the car earlier. She's not hooked on wearing shoes. She's hooked on having them put on so that she can take them off. There aren't enough doors between her room and the other end of the house to drown out the screams, but, fortunately for us, she didn't get much of a nap today and was worn out enough to fall asleep after just a couple of minutes.

I'm familiar with the flocking about when the phone rings. One lone kid does the same thing. Only she stinks. I haven't talked to my dad for several days. Finally, I get to get on the phone with him, and the two-year-old has to stink up her diaper and crawl in my lap, right then.

How did Spaz actually manage to catch a squirrel?

Unknown said...

Just for the record, squirrels do NOT carry rabies... My mom is animal control, (has been for 20 years) and a wildlife rehabilitator. We raised squirrels my entire life... just thought I'd share. very funny stuff btw. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow. I got this blog from another I read. The comment was rude. The blog is hysterically funny. And I just have one child. :-)

Thanks.

Jody said...

LOLOL!!

I wish my oldest son would catch squirrels. Instead he is trying to catch an alligator down the street from our house. Yes, I said an alli-freaking-gator. He keeps reassuring me that it is ONLY 3 feet long. Well, whew. Ya know how relieved THAT makes me.

Anonymous said...

I live in a place where all nature and wildlife has been driven out (except whatever's living under our house), so we have to go places to get the squirrel and bug experience. I'm kinda thankful....kinda. 'Cause we're moving to the middle of nowhere. There are bugs with eyes that glow in red and/or green...maybe even both. That's so scary. And there are those little pod frogs that stick to the house there. *whine*

Here's what I don't get - why do people come to your blog and then complain. It's like sitting through an entire TV show before you realize you were empowered with the ability to change the channel. People just like to complain. Glad you don't take it to heart.

When all else fails, my dear, call the Supper Nanny - she can cook her ass off!

StampingJoan said...

Dawn,
Been catching up on your blog and am laughing hysterically! You are a hoot and I cannot wait til your book comes out! And I am surprised that Ellen DeGeneras or Oprah haven't contacted you yet.

And no..............you don't sound like a dork in your interview............................just a...................................Dorkbutt! haha sorry.....couldn't resist!

But really.....you sound normal to me! But I think we all hate what we sound like. I sound very nasilly (is that a word and who knows how to spell it!)

And for the ***hole who wrote those nasty comments......we pray you don't have kids............and with an attitude like yours, who in their right mind would want to have kids with you????? Now he's a real dorkBUTT!

Andrea said...

This is too funny! This is my new favorite blog!! Ignore the mean posters - your kids sound like normal kids to me.

As for the friends, we have always have those showing up here too. In fact, Hoppy and Sleeping Beauty - crickets, are hopping aroung their new home right now. It's a bug habitat we got at Target. The crickets are being set free tomorrow morning.

My son tried to catch a squirrel once when he was 3, but he never managed to do it.

Anonymous said...

Now that squirrel story almost had me snorting cheese puffs out of my nose! Thanks for getting back to the funny stuff and decreasing the gossipy stuff. In B-school I learned "Stick with your knittin'", i.e. do what you're good at - telling stories.
Shari

Anonymous said...

Thank-you so much for your honesty! Atleast they can realize they would not be a good parent!! I have 3 under 3 and I thought this was hard! You have given me great perspective. And I look forward to seeing where your path leads. May God Bless you and your wonderful family!

Anonymous said...

I loved your ebay auction and have since subscribed to your blog. I absolutely love it. I know you've heard it a million times before, but it strikes a chord with all of us who have more than one sweet little life-sucker that calls us "Mom". I write that with all the love in my heart!

The reason I decided to post a message to your "Cicadas caterpillars squirrels" blog is because I live not far from you, and I think this is the time of year when all of God's critters get a little bolder and come out for all to see! Just yesterday, I walked out into my back yard and it was like a scene right out of Snow White, except I don't sing soprano. There was a rabbit, a squirrel, a few chipmunks scurried by, a HUGE red-headed woodpecker, and some finches or sparrows or whatever those itty-bitty birds are. All in my back yard lawn. In the days when I had cats, a few of them would have been half-eaten for my kids to ogle over, but now that I'm post-kitty, they all were free to scurry, hop and fly away. Man, I wish I sung soprano!

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to write each day and bring a little humor and comaraderie (sp?) to the rest of us moms!

Anonymous said...

Oh my Gosh!
After I cleaned my monitor from the coffee I spit on it laughing about Spaz's catch, I almost peed my pants reading the comments from some of your fans. Great Blog! Thank you for sharing this!

memama88 said...

You are a great writer/story teller...Kids give you lots to write about ... It sounds like you are a awesome mom..> Keep writing >> Marcia

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