It's Official. I'm A Crazy Cat Lady.

The other day Savannah posted this to our family group chat with the caption - Mom. 

What? What are you talking about! That doesn't sound like me.

And Now A Message From The Cat

I learned some fun new tricks this week! Brooklyn left her air pod case sitting on the couch the other day. I saw it and thought - Now that looks like a fun cat toy! How nice of Brooklyn to leave that for me to play with! I pounced on the case and flung it off the couch. Then I played soccer with it, batting it around the family room and into the kitchen. I gave it a good smack and it sailed across the kitchen floor and under the refrigerator! Score! I made the winning goal!

I guess Brooklyn didn't know that I'd knocked the case into the refrigerator goal because man, did she look for that case for a loooong time. She looked everywhere! It was hours before she retrieved it! And then she didn't even give it back to me so I could make another goal. That was disappointing.

I learned how to do another cool thing this week too. I mean, honestly, I already knew how to do this, but I mustered up the guts to give it a go this week. I was sitting on Mom's bed, crouched down, ready to pounce when my target walked by. I leapt from my perch as Mom passed the bed and hit her, square on the hip, where I dug in my claws lest I fall. I stuck to her like Velcro! Clinging to her jeans, I just laughed to myself as she muttered something about me being the suction cup Garfield that used to be on her car window in the 80s. I have no idea what that meant, but man, the look of surprise on her face as I stuck to her hip was pretty hilarious if I do say so myself!

I figured out how to get up close and personal with the TV too! I really like this show, and that Phoebe has this awesome song about a cat!

I can't wait to see what I can get into next week!

I Went Without A Phone For Almost 24 Hours! (And The Twitching Has Almost Completely Stopped Now.)

Several days ago my phone stopped working. Out of nowhere, it. just. stopped. I was playing Words With Friends and then, nothing. I employed my great technical knowledge which consists of turning the device off and on again. Only I couldn't even turn it off. I couldn't do anything. I stared at my black screen. The little white apple lit up for a couple minutes. Then it went black. Then the apple lit up. Then it went black. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

This occurred in the evening when no stores were open so there was nothing I could do. That would be stress-inducing enough, but my kids had taken my car and gone to Universal Studios for the day. The kids had been checking in with me throughout the day and I was worried they'd try to get ahold of me before they left to come home. And what if they went out to the car and it wouldn't start? Or what would they do if one of them tripped and broke their ankle? What if they got lost on the way home? Worrisome thoughts swirled around my head as I alternately stared at the blank screen, and attempted to turn the phone off again and again. More than once I thought - I know! I'll call them and let them know I can't text! 

Eventually, I thought to reach out to Savannah via Facebook messenger. She answered and was able to text the littles at Universal and let them know my phone wasn't working, and they could contact her if they needed anything.

I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I grabbed my phone that evening search up something . . . Nope. I picked it up to play a game . . . Nope. I tried to read the headlines, look at Facebook, check my email . . . Nope, nope, nope. I pulled out my phone so I could search the hours of the nearest AT&T store where I got my phone . . . Nope. Search IMDB to find the name of that one actor in the movie I was watching who looked so familiar . . . Nope. Add something to my grocery list . . . Nope. Check the weather for tomorrow . . . Nope.

The next day, feeling a little lost, I drove to the AT&T store and stood outside waiting for it to open. I pulled out my phone to check the time . . . Nope. Finally, a woman opened the door, a look of concern on her face at the undoubtedly rabid customer waiting not-so-patiently to rush through the portal like it was Black Friday and they were giving away iPhones.

In the end, she couldn't do anything to help, but tell me to go to an Apple store. I left AT&T and as I walked to my car, I grabbed my phone so I could call Apple and make an appointment . . . Nope. Okay, no problem, I'll just drive to the closest one and see if I can make an appointment there. I picked up my phone to put the address in my GPS . . . Nope. Defeated, I drove home so I could look up Apple stores and make an appointment on my computer. Unfortunately my wifi wasn't working. Because it goes out multiple times a day, every day. Because Spectrum sucks. And no matter how many times someone comes out to look at it, it still sucks. And unfortunately, I don't have a choice because my apartment complex has a deal with them. But that's another rant.

Frustrated, I woke up Clay and begged him to let me use his phone so I could make an appointment. Then I told him he had to stay up and come with me because I needed to use his phone's GPS in order to get to the only Apple store with appointment availability in central Florida which was 40 minutes away. And we all know I can't drive even 10 minutes away without getting lost.

So we got to the mall, checked in with the security guard monitoring the number of customers in the store, and got in the line of people waiting to get inside. 

As we inched along the socially distanced line, I glanced down and saw this:

"Do I do? Do I do what? What do I do?" I asked Clay. "I don't get it. Is this some sort of Apple thing?"

Clay looked down, then looked back up at me with this face - 😑

Grabbing me by the shoulders, he turned me around.

"Ohhhhh. Well, I feel stupid. I should probably document my stupidity. Because that's what I do." I pulled my phone from my pocket to take a picture . . . Nope. "Clay, will you take a picture of this sign for me?"

In the end, I learned that I am completely dependent on my phone.

Backing up to the cloud is a VERY good thing to do lest your phone has to be restored to factory settings.

Saving your Apple ID and password on your phone isn't very effective; making sure your kids know your Apple ID and password is.

And "Do I Do" means you should stand 6 feet away from others.

And Now A Message From the Cat

 

Hi. My name is Punkin, although I'm called KitKat, Snickerdoodle, and my favorite, Chicken Nugget more often than not. I look so adorable and innocent that no one can resist my cuteness. I'm three months old and I have many hobbies! For example, I like to hide under the bed and reach out to tap your feet as you walk by. I just love it when you freak out and scream! That never gets old! I also love pouncing on your feet when you try to sleep, and getting up really close to your face and tickling you with my whiskers to wake you up. It's hilarious when you go on and on about having a heart attack!

I enjoy jumping in the shower as soon as you get out and then walking around, shaking my feet repeatedly because did you know the shower floor is wet??? It's wet every single day, but I keep jumping in anyway because I figure one of these days it'll be dry.

One of my favorite things to do is help you type on your laptop. I am an expert writer! I don't know why you don't see the extent of my genius! ljvcuuuudw5`1

I also love, love, love pooping in my litter box two seconds after you've cleaned it out. Classic!

One of my absolute favorite games to play is called Jump in the Fridge as Soon as Someone Opens It! It's especially funny to see your reaction when you think I'm not around and then I dart out of nowhere to jump in the fridge.

Another fun game to play is when I weave around your feet as you walk. I haven't made any of my people fall yet, but the old one has come close. Any day now! It's also entertaining to headbutt your hand as you try to fill my food dish.

I used to enjoy climbing up the tablecloth, but for some reason you never use a tablecloth anymore. But that's okay because I just learned another fun diversion last night. I open and close your bedroom door repeatedly while you try to sleep. Open, close, open close, open close . . . 

I just can't wait to see what fun things I learn to do in the next three months!

What School Really Looks Like This Year

When a student fails a class, they get put into course recovery where they have to essentially retake the class and pass it in order to get the credit. Students aren't held back here. Even students who fail all four of their core classes are promoted to the next grade and put into course recovery for all four classes. That's the four failed classes on top of their regular classes for that year.

This year I have seven periods of students in course recovery. Almost all of the kids who did school-from-home for the first semester failed one or more classes. It's painfully obvious that the majority of kids learning from home, were not successful. I don't think anyone would argue that point as the data overwhelmingly shows that kids are more successful with in-person learning. 

Beyond the difficulties with at-home learning (kids who aren't motivated and/or aren't held accountable by parents, kids who don't have reliable internet access, kids who just have a hard time grasping the material when it's taught online, etc.) there's the mental health issue. The unprecedented increase in mental health problems, addiction, and suicidal ideation coupled with limited mental health services in many areas due to Covid-19 is undeniably exacerbated by the isolation that comes with at-home learning.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not, in any way, saying that all kids should be in school, in person, every day. I think there is no one perfect solution to the problem of school during a pandemic. There is no ideal answer. There is nothing that is universally in everyone's best interests, and there's certainly not any one solution that will make everyone happy.

Let me tell you what it looks like in my school. I'm in Florida. In this state, the governor told schools that if they want funding, they have to open up for in-person learning in August. Period. So we did. And I get why this was a blessing for many families. Parents of young children need someone to watch their kids while they work. No school ---> no work ---> no paycheck ---> no money for food or rent ---> homelessness. For many, the thought of financial ruin trumped concerns over safety. Also, parents who worried about their student's mental health at home and parents who were concerned their child wouldn't do well online could send them back to school in person. It's nice that parents in this state had a choice between in-person and at-home learning. They could make the decision that was best (or was the least awful) for their family.

Unfortunately, that left teachers and support staff without any choice. We had to go back to school in person. We had to spend our days in a classroom with 6-7 periods of different students every day. During the first semester, a few teachers were able to apply for a medical exemption that enabled them to teach from home to the students who were learning from home. But when the second semester rolled around and nearly every student was back to school in person, all teachers were ordered back to campus as well. I've honestly lost track of how many teachers from my school have quit since the beginning of this school year. I can think of nine offhand as I write this. Those are nine positions that needed to be/still need to be filled. Now imagine every school in my state having similar staffing problems, and we're all trying to hire teachers from an ever-dwindling pool of candidates.

On top of that, there are the teachers who get sick and are out because of it. There are the teachers who are exposed to someone with Covid and have to stay home to quarantine for several days. And, of course, there are the teachers who need surgery, have dentist appointments, need to stay home with a sick child, have car troubles . . . I've spent the last couple years complaining about a substitute shortage. Ha! Little did I know what we were in for this year. 

According to the Orange County Classroom Teachers Association, there were a staggering 11, 571 unfilled absences from August through November. And I know firsthand that it's only gotten worse. Today, for example, at my school there were 12 teachers out. We only had 3 subs so 9 classes were uncovered. Yesterday was the same. This past Friday there were 16 teachers out, 9 of their classes uncovered. Thursday there were 11 uncovered classes. So every day, the secretary has to scramble to get someone to watch every class, every period. Office clerks, librarians, paras, administrators, and other personnel get shuffled into classrooms. I've seen the bookkeeper and secretary cover classes. I honestly wouldn't be surprised to see a lunch lady or a custodian watching a classroom full of kids at this point. 

This year, I've had to cover another teacher's classes in addition to my own seven classes almost every single day. And let me tell you, it is sucking the life out of me! There is very little social distancing when you're combining two classes. Trying to help my 8th graders with their course recovery work in language arts, math, science, and history while explaining ancient Chinese philosophers to a bunch of sixth graders is not fun. Watching sixth graders whose assignment is to play a review game while trying to get 8th graders to focus on a test at the same time is not fun. Telling students a thousand times a day to "pull up your mask!" is not fun. Going to work this year is not fun.

When a bunch of Covid cases hit one school, they close the school for two weeks. They deep clean the building while students learn from home in an effort to stop the spread of Covid before it gets out of control. When this recently happened at a high school in my district, I saw someone on Facebook have a fit about it. She ranted that it was her kid's right to attend school. She was livid they'd briefly closed the school to try to keep people safe. And I shook my head at the absolute self-centered, entitled attitudes of some people. 

These teachers are friggin' rock stars! On top of the ridiculous amount of work they already have, this year they've been juggling teaching the kids who are seated in front of them as well as teaching the kids who are online at home. At the same time! We are all stretched so thin this year, and we're doing our best to make sure your kids are successful, all while trying to ensure everyone follows the guidelines so we can all stay safe and healthy. And when I see some selfish rant from a parent, I've gotta tell ya, I get a pretty impressive urge to throat-punch that parent. 

Whatever the school situation is in your state and your district, for the love of God, show your child's educators some grace. Remember, there is no perfect solution. What makes one person happy will inevitably make others angry and vice versa. We're all trying to navigate these uncharted waters and make the best decisions we can. For most of us in the education system, it has been a tough year no matter how you slice it. So whether you agree with what your state and district are doing or not, please understand that the teachers and support staff are all doing our best with what we have. And we're doing it for your kid. So - Just. Be. Nice.

The Official Stocking Stuffer of 2020

“This post brought to you by Air Wick, all thoughts & opinions are my own”

For Thanksgiving a few years ago, all six kids and I loaded up my minivan and Savannah's car and we headed over the (Ohio) river and through the woods Indiana windmill farms to grandmother's house (or rather a hotel near grandmother's house because really, we are a big noisy bunch and when I moved out many years ago, my parents locked the door behind me and hired a bouncer to keep me out.) But really, there were a bunch of us and everyone thought it might be better if we stayed in a hotel. At the time, my ex worked for a hotel and was able to get us rooms. A lot of rooms. Savannah had a room, Austin and Codi had a room, Jackson and Clayton had a room, Lexi and Brooklyn had a room, and I had a room.

Whenever we go home to Chicago, we have a list of places we absolutely must visit. This list is mainly restaurants. Lou Malnati's, Rosati's, Portillo's, and Jarosch top everyone's list. But one place that's only on my kids' lists is White Castle. I personally think the only reason to eat at White Castle is because you're 21, partied a bit too much, it's 3:00am, and it's the only place open. Ahem. But my kids love those little sliders.

When your kids get not one, but two cases of burgers filled with grilled onions, something diabolical happens to their digestive systems.

So after that little pit stop, we arrive at the hotel. Savannah tosses her suitcase in her room and takes off to meet friends. As we unpack the car and settle in, one by one, the kids start announcing the inevitable. "I have to poop."

(Side note: did you know that I mention "poop" in 80 blog posts? EIGHTY! I actually searched. This is what happens when you have kids. Poop happens! A lot!)

So, the litany of "I have to poop" starts. My response, as always, is, "So go. And you don't need to announce it."

"But I don't want to stink up the hotel room."

"Maybe you should've considered that before getting 60 cheeseburgers."

"I know! I'll use Savannah's room!"

My son grabbed the spare key for Savannah's room and took off for her bathroom.

This is how the visit went. Anytime someone needed to poop, they used Savannah's bathroom because she was out with friends more than she was in the hotel. 

No problem. Until Savannah got back and realized she had no toilet paper, on top of the fact that her room smelled like the elephant habitat at Brookfield Zoo. She was not happy.

To this day, when one of the kids has to poop, they sometimes announce, "I need to go to Savannah's room," despite the fact that Savannah hasn't lived with us for 4 1/2 years. I bet Savannah's thrilled that "Savannah's room" is code for the bathroom.

But Air Wick has a product that will make life SO MUCH SWEETER especially when you're staying in a little hotel room or as a guest in someone's house! Or on an airplane or a train! Or at work! Or at your own home. Okay, basically everywhere! It's V.I.P Pre-Poop Spray. The spray is scented with spectacular smelling essential oils like lavender, lemon, and rose. It comes in a little bottle so it's easy to toss in your purse, spray before you ‘go’, and voilà, smelly odor embarrassment syndrome avoided. And each little bottle packs 100 uses of impressive stink-banishing power!

V.I.P spray now resides in both of my bathrooms. My kids like to decipher the acronym, V.I.P. Very Important Pooper, Very Intense Poop, that poop made a Very Interesting Plop, Virulently Insalubrious Poop . . . . Hey, it's the pandemic; I don't judge their entertainment these days.

Here's a pro-tip from me to you: You need this V.I.P. spray for the holidays, especially if you're going to visit family, or if you're having family over. I know most of us are avoiding gatherings this year, but the people you live with/your immediate family will thank you for supplying your bathrooms with this spray also! Just add it to your Walmart grocery pick-up order (which may be the greatest invention ever) and you're set! Bonus pro-tip:  You want to permanently ban White Castle and chili dogs from any and all road trips henceforth. Trust me on this.

I've dubbed this Air Wick V.I.P. spray the elf-approved, official stocking stuffer of 2020 because somehow poop and 2020 go hand-in-hand, don'tcha think?

I Work in a Middle School. Yes, it's on Purpose!

When I tell people I work in a middle school, they respond with one of the following:

A. On purpose?  this is from most sane people who think I'm insane

B.  Bless your heart!  this is from well-meaning southerners who think I'm insane

C.  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  this is from parents of middle schoolers who know I'm insane

D.  Oh cool! What do you teach?  this is from other middle school teachers who are insane themselves

They look at me like, well, they look at me like one would look at someone who purposely chooses to work with hormonal, angsty, drama-filled tweens who leave an intoxicating miasma of BO and Axe in their wake. (Sidenote: masks are wonderful for blocking out those teen smells and I may continue to wear one long after Covid is under control!) 

Middle school kids like to whine that they're bored. Like all the time. They are so addicted to technology that when they have to put their phone away and do something as mundane as algebra, they lose their minds. It's like taking the drug-of-choice away from a hardcore addict. They will spend the next 50 minutes jonesing for a glance at their phones. Then they ask to go to the bathroom just so they can text their friend across campus who is also asking to go to the bathroom in order to get a hit of Snapchat like some strung-out junkie.

Middle school kids are So. Filled. With. Drama! "So&so liked the picture that so&so put on the 'gram and she's just so obvious about it and he doesn't even like her because he likes so&so, but I don't know why she even likes him to begin with; did you see his shoes today?!"

And as grown-up as they want to be, they're still kids who like to have those meaningful conversations with you about every. single. aspect of Minecraft until your mind goes numb.

Middle schoolers lack the part of the brain that tells you to stop and think before acting. So when they do some dumb thing like throw a pencil across the room, and you ask them why they did it, they will inevitably answer with an, "I dunno" accompanied by a shrug. And they literally don't know why they did it.

But they also know stuff. They know what's cool and what's not. Did you know that Crocs are cool now? Not only that, but the little Jibbitz charms that you got for your toddler's Crocs 18 years ago are also cool now. Who knew? Middle school kids knew, that's who!

Today I noticed that it looked like it was "snowing" on my student's computer. "How did you do that??" I asked. "That's so cool! What did you install to make it look like it's snowing?"

She looked at me like I was simple-minded and instructed, "You just click the snowman on your Launchpad." 

"Wait what?! Do I have that on my computer?!" I ran over to my desk and sure enough, I did! The student told me there's something different every month that you can click. How have I never noticed this, I wondered. Oh yeah, because I'm not a middle schooler. They know stuff.

But as crazy as they can be (and we all know they're crazy,) they're also pretty cool. Today a student drew a picture for me. She wasn't even one of my kids; she was just in my room for testing. And last week I was subbing in a class for a teacher who is in the hospital. This teacher is gravely ill (not Covid) so we had her students sign get-well cards for her. There was one girl who pulled a Polaroid print out of her purse. (Sidenote - I think of a Polaroid as an antiquated way to take pictures, but I'm clearly mistaken because middle schoolers think of it as a totally cool, retro way to snap pics, and as we previously discussed - they know stuff.) Anyway, she pulls out this picture of her, one other student, and the currently hospitalized teacher. "Miss, can I get some tape? I want to put this picture in the card. But first, can I please take out my phone for a minute so I can take a picture of this for myself?" 

Now how cool is that? To this student, that picture of her with one of her favorite teachers meant a lot. Just the fact that she wanted to have her picture taken with a teacher is cool! And the fact she was willing to give that prized photo away to this teacher in an effort to cheer her up is just pretty darn awesome. Something about this student's enthusiasm for her teacher just struck me, especially since this particular student is one of the ones who can be a pain in my butt. It really made me stop and think about what a difference teachers can make. Even if the teachers don't always entirely realize the scope of their influence, it's far-reaching. These kids form some pretty amazing bonds with them, and teachers have the unique opportunity to impact these kids' lives in dramatic ways.

So I guess that's why I work in a middle school. These kids can be pains in the butt and they can try my patience on a daily basis. But if I didn't work there, I wouldn't know I could pull off wearing Crocs to work, my computer wouldn't be "snowing," I wouldn't have a wall full of drawings, and I wouldn't have a new appreciation for this "pain-in-the-butt student who, as it turns out, has a soft spot in her heart for her favorite teachers.

Dresses, Spanx, and Crotchless Undergarments: My Wardrobe Malfunction

I used to dress fairly nicely for work, but over the past 10 years, I've slacked off a little. Okay, a lot. Denim capris, flip flops, and a school shirt have become my uniform. This is partly due to laziness, but largely due to the fact that nothing fits me anymore. But today I put on a dress. I have no idea what possessed me to do this.

Now this dress fit, but I was a little uncomfortable with the idea that the fabric would be hanging over my blobs of fat curves and I might not look my absolute best. 

Enter Spanx.

I pulled out a pair of Spanx (if anyone is unfamiliar, Spanx is a popular brand of industrial-strength shapewear. Think - girdle on steroids. The idea is this - you pull on the Spanx which tucks all your rolls into its nylon embrace, flattening lumps and bumps, lifting buttocks, and smoothing cellulite and other imperfections, giving you a nice, sleek silhouette. That's the idea.

So apparently I bought these particular Spanx a long time (and more importantly, a lot of pounds) ago. Spanx are supposed to be really tight; that's the nature of the beast. But these? Well, these were tight on a whole 'nother level. 

So this morning, full of all sorts of stupidity blind determination, I struggled to pull on the diabolical undergarment. You know how you start? You step in, grasp the fabric in each hand, and pull as hard as you can while doing some sort of ancient tribal fat-banishing dance. One foot forward, yank. Other foot forward. Pull. Step to the side. Wiggle your hips. Straighten up. Step left. Step right. Pull, pull, pull. Bend over, straighten up. Readjust your grip. Heave. Wiggle some more. Seriously, all those Tik Tok dances out there? Amateurs! Finally I give up and lie writhing on the bathroom floor.

via GIPHY

The fabric is slicing into my legs, cutting off my circulation, and no matter how hard I pull, I cannot seem to tug these things up over my hips. After a full minute, I consider giving up, but at this point I've gotten them far enough up that removing them would be just as much of a struggle as continuing to pull them on. I briefly consider the fact that I might have to call the paramedics if I lie there, the nylon cutting into my flesh, much longer. I wondered if 9-1-1 gets many girdle emergency calls. With my luck, it would be undeniably gorgeous guys who showed up to rescue me, the beached whale, squirming on the floor, nylon encased thighs with a wave of fat spilling over the top.

I stood up and gave it a Herculean tug. They finally started to meld to my body. And that's when I noticed the rip in the crotch. I had managed to tear the crotch right out of these things. I looked down, trying to ascertain just how bad the split was. Realization dawned on me as I stared at the garment. There was no rip after all. Oh, there was a big hole, to be certain, but the fabric was neatly seamed all around it. The hole was on purpose. They were crotchless. It made sense, given the ridiculous and time-consuming dance I'd had to do to put them on. I mean, who would be willing to go through that every time they needed to pee, right?

After a good five minutes of struggling, I finally managed to get them on. I was a veritable sausage in a prison-like nylon casing. I couldn't breathe and I was certain I'd need scissors (or the jaws of life) to remove them later, but for the moment, my dress draped so nicely over my nylon-encased hips, butt, and thighs that I put that thought to the back of my mind. I even put the fact that it was a little um, breezy down there out of my mind. The things we women endure for fashion!

So I get to work, and people are telling me, "Oh you look nice today," which I always interpret as, "You usually look like a hideous wildebeest. What a pleasant departure." A student looks at me and asks, "Why do you look so nice? Do you have a date?" Sadly no because the only people I meet are 12 years old. 

After first period, I have to pee. There is no conceivable way I'll be able to pull these things down, pee, and then repeat the whole process of stretching them up over my butt again in the less-than-4-minutes I have before my next class, but since they're crotchless, all I have to do is squat, pee, and go about my day without having to wrestle with these things time and time again. That's the general idea. Most people can appreciate this feature. Most people can take advantage of this feature. 

Then there's me.

It's really not that complicated! I mean, even a caveman, er, cavewoman can do it. But as I left the bathroom, I felt a little um, I felt like I maybe hadn't quite mastered the whole 'peeing through a hole' thing. Great. Did I pee on myself? I don't think so. It's probably just a stray drip. What now? Maybe I should just cut these things off. Oh wait, then I'll have to go commando for the rest of the day! Probably not the best idea. I know! I pulled a pad out of my purse before realizing I had nothing to stick it to. Hmmm, maybe I can stuff it up into the hole and just stick the very edges down in the front and back around the missing crotch. But that would leave a whole lot of exposed tape, and I know darn well that two steps out of the bathroom and the pad would become dislodged and end up sticking to my leg halfway down my thigh. Or worse, it would fall off with a plop as it hit the floor in the middle of my classroom. My classroom filled with middle schoolers. Then I'd have no choice but to fling myself off a bridge.

"Why am I such a spaz?" I grumbled to no one. I'll spare you the details of the rest of my day and just say - next week I will be back to wearing my denim capris and flip flops! As I left for the day, a coworker called, "You look nice. Your waist looks so small." For a moment, all common sense left my brain as I delighted in the compliment and toyed with the idea of wearing Spanx under all my clothing because - woo hoo, small waist! And this is why women do these stupid things!

A Tale Of Two Teachers

I had interactions with two of my kids' teachers on Friday. And they were so night-and-day different, you wouldn't believe they worked at the same school.

You know that Brooklyn never gets less than an A in any class. She's a naturally smart kid and she's remarkably self-motivated. This is not me being one of those - 'My kid is perfect and can do no wrong' kind of things because believe me, although I love all my kids, I would not use those words to describe all of them! Unfortunately, she's struggling in her biology class this year. She ends the day in tears often, saying, "I'm just not learning anything this year, Mom. She just reads these powerpoints and she goes so fast and she just assumes that everyone knows what she's talking about instead of explaining and teaching it. Maybe it's just me, but I don't know anything in that class."

This teacher gives her students until 6:00PM to submit their assignments each day. For the kids who have activities after school - jobs, sports, volunteer work, church, classes, well that's just too bad. They get a zero. No chance to turn it in later. They can't do it the next day. Nothing. Just a big fat zero for the assignment. As you can imagine, a couple zeros on assignments dramatically bring down the child's grade.

To her credit, the teacher does replace those zeros with the score the students receive on their quarter exams. I'm sure this helps some students. Brooklyn, who has struggled all year, stayed up and studied a good 2 hours the night before that test. She went through every Kahoot (game-based learning platform) the teacher gave the kids to help them review. She literally wrote down every question and answer, felt she had a pretty good understanding, and thought she would do well on the test. When the test came, Brooklyn felt it was over completely different material than what she had studied and she got a D on the test. That was a tough pill to swallow for a straight A student. Especially when that grade was not reflective of her effort.

Incidentally, this is the same teacher who taught from home the entire first quarter of school. I use the words "taught from home" loosely as many of her classes were taught while she was driving, or sitting in her car in a parking lot. 

Which brings us to Friday. On Friday, this teacher told her class that they were going to dissect a flower, but she generously gave them to until 7:00 to complete and submit their assignments. Nothing had been said about this in advance so students could make arrangements to have the supplies they needed. Students on campus were sent into the courtyard of the school to pick flowers, however students who were doing remote learning from home, were out of luck. We don't have any flowers. There are literally no flowers anywhere in my entire apartment complex. 

I had never communicated with this teacher about her policy of not accepting work after 6:00PM. I had commiserated with Brooklyn, I had gotten resources from the science teachers at my school to help her, and I had told her that she would undoubtedly have teachers throughout her education whose teaching method just didn't resonate with her, and that she just had to do her best. But this flower thing just pushed me over the edge. So now Brooklyn would be getting yet another zero because once again, this teacher had set those students up for failure. So I emailed her.

Good morning,

My daughter, Brooklyn Meehan told me that you informed her during class today that she needs a flower to dissect. We live in an apartment that has no flowers around the complex. Had your students been notified in advance, I could have made arrangements for her to have the supplies she needs. I’m a single mom, I work 2 jobs, and I won’t get home in order to bring my daughter a flower or take her to pick one until after your cut-off time for turning in assignments. I feel that making students turn in work by 6:00pm, you’re setting them up for failure. Brooklyn struggles to complete your assignments on days that she has cheer practice after school, and has received zeros because you don’t allow your students to turn in assignments in the evening. Yes, I know you replace those zeros with their quarter test grades, but this does precious little for poor test takers. As a parent, this is frustrating. As an educator, it is mind-boggling to me.

What are you doing for Launch-Ed students who aren’t able to pick flowers in the school’s courtyard today? Is there an alternative assignment? Or are you giving them longer than 7:00pm to complete it?

Ms. Dawn Meehan

J Be the reason someone smiles today. J

This was her response:

Hello Mrs. Meehan,

Your concerns about me, how I teach, my teaching strategies, and my policies are duly noted.

No, there is no alternate. No, they do not get any longer than 2:20 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. to walk outside, pick a flower, remove its parts, use the diagram to label it, and upload the image to a GOOGLE form.

That part of the assignment will simply be adjusted for her, and any other student that finds that part of the assignment too difficult to complete.

Thank you for letting me know.

Dr. XXXXXX

I forwarded our correspondence to the principal along with this note:

Good afternoon, Mr. XXXXXX,

How can it possibly be acceptable by OCPS for a teacher to refuse to accept assignments after 6:00pm on a daily basis? Brooklyn cannot be the only student with after-school commitments who finds it difficult some days to complete assignments in that time frame. Brooklyn was one of few students in Orange County accepted into the Horizons Scholarship program. She is required to put in volunteer hours and engage in regular after-school Zoom meetings, classes, and mentor sessions. And of course, she’s encouraged to participate in extra-curricular activities as well.

Brooklyn gets a zero from Dr. XXXXXX every time she cannot complete an assignment by 6:00pm because she has cheer, band, or a Horizons Scholarship activity after school. Dr. XXXXXX does not give her the opportunity to turn in assignments after her after-school activities; instead she simply gives my daughter a grade of 0%. These zeros negatively impact Brooklyn’s eligibility in the Horizons program because the coordinators obtain regular grade reports from the high school.

What do I need to do to get Brooklyn a teacher who will work with her and not against her? Brooklyn would love to go back to school face-to-face, especially if it meant a schedule change and a different biology teacher, although I understand I missed the cut-off to change from Launch-Ed to F2F. Is dropping biology at the high school and taking it on Florida Virtual School a possibility? Because I am not okay with Brooklyn missing out on 2 years of college tuition because of a poor grade in biology that is not reflective of her ability.

Thank you for your help on this matter.

I imagine the principal will address this on Monday. If not, it will all be forwarded to the chief of high schools.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While this was going on, I received an email from Clayton's calculus teacher: 

Ms. Meehan,

Is everything ok with Clayton?  He has missed the last two days of class and has not turned in the last 3 assignments. 

Bob XXXXXXX

My response: 

First off, thank you for being that amazing teacher who legitimately cares about his students and wants to see them succeed. Believe me, that is not always the case!

And this is completely unacceptable and will be addressed with Clayton immediately.

I had a little talk with Clayton that went something like this, "You need to email Mr. XXXXXXX and copy me on that email! You apologize for not showing up to class, you make up those assignments NOW, and you don't miss another class in the future or your part time job is OVER, Mister, because that was the deal when I let you take that job! Get your act together and get caught up!"

And here is Clay's correspondence with his teacher:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

This is Clay's second year with this math teacher, and this is not the first time this teacher has reached out to me in concern about Clayton. (Although Clay's really smart, he's a little lacking in the motivation department.) Anyway, Clay says that he's the best teacher he's ever had. Not only does he do an amazing job explaining things and teaching, but he records and puts every lesson online so students can go back and and review. He also gives students his phone number and tells them they can call up until 10:00PM if they have any questions. And he does free tutoring as well. Clay's teacher is clearly invested in his students' success. He goes above and beyond to ensure his kids achieve. He's the kind of teacher who most teachers strive to be. 

And then there's Brooklyn's teacher . . .

*****UPDATE*****

Brooklyn's biology teacher happens to be the teacher's union representative for her school. I get the sense that the administration is afraid to approach her on her teaching methods or her tone of correspondence to parents' concerns because of that simple fact. I feel the principal gave me a disappointing non-answer. But I kept pressing because I felt strongly about this. I've had 6 kids go through that school, times 4 years each, times 7 periods a day. Of course my kids have had some less-than-wonderful teachers over the years, but I've never complained before. Instead, I've always told my kids that they will encounter people throughout their lives who are simply difficult to work with, and they need to learn how to make the best of it. But this teacher's policies and attitude especially, especially during a pandemic with so many other challenges, both educational and other, is just unacceptable.

Anyway, I insisted they withdraw her from the class, and I signed her up for Florida Virtual School for this one class. Because FLVS is inundated with students who having chosen that platform this year, she hasn't been assigned a teacher yet, but they said she should be able to start next week.

I Do It For The Comments

I started blogging back in 2007. At the time, I used my blog as an outlet for all the crazy shenanigans my kids pulled so I didn't lose my mind and run away from home. I used it encourage other parents in the trenches. I was hoping in time that it might become a source of income to help my family of 8 financially. While I was writing, encouraging other parents and letting them know they weren't alone, the strangest thing happened. The comments they left for me on my posts encouraged me! I found myself eagerly devouring every word that my readers left for me. It somehow validated what I was doing.

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