I'm a single mom of 3 girls
and 3 boys, trying to juggle
kids, work and laundry with
the help of God, family,
friends and wine (not
necessarily in that order)
It's my little punk's Clay's birthday today. He's 5. How can this be? I remember when I was pregnant with him! It seems like it was just yesterday. I ran out this afternoon to get his birthday present. Yep, that's me - always doing stuff at the last minute. I ran in the door, set his present (unwrapped) down on the floor and sat down just in the nick of time to join my family for dinner. I scarfed down a piece of pizza, stuck a candle in a store-bought cupcake, tossed it to Clay, sang Happy Birthday, and ran back out to go to my rehearsal tonight. I was going to make a slide show with pictures of him. I didn't get to it. I feel like a total failure tonight.
I'm having a combination party for Clay and Brooklyn next week. He didn't really care that I had to run out tonight. But still... sigh It's just another thing on my ever-growing list of things I feel guilty about. I think it's in a mom's job description - must carry around enormous burden of guilt for not living up to the "perfect mom" image.
Does this describe you too? Then head over to my friend Michelle's blog. She's got a fun webisode about mom guilt on her blog! You have to check it out! Well, I guess you technically don't have to, but it's funny and it also stars Mel from Tiny Goals, and really, do you want to go break up the fight between the kids right now anyway? Nah, ignore them, feel guilty about ignoring them, and go on over to Michelle's blog HERE.
And I've got a few giveaways on my other blog right now too.
Here's just a little something for my friends in Chicago and for those of you living in this frozen tundra. I took this video when I was in Los Angeles in October. It's Santa Monica.
That is the most peaceful sound on earth. I can just smell the salt and feel the warmth on my skin when I watch this. I feel energized. I feel at peace. Ahhhhh I love it. And I can pretend I'm there (at least until I look out the window here.)
I was going through some pictures and realized that I never put any up from Christmas with my inlaws.
Here's my cute little niece, Ryan. I just like to hold her and cuddle her and sniff her sweet little baby head. What is it about baby's heads that just smell so... babyish? Ahhh. She hates me though. She screams every time I try to hold her. :(
Here's my little punk, Clay with his favoritist, Lightning McQueen!
And Miss Lexi, happy with her Hannah Montana design toy.
Jax looking too cool for pictures.
Aj with his shirt that reads, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, then it's Hey! Free eyeball!"
My Savannah jammin to her tunes.
And here's Miss Brooklyn in all her dress-up clothes. She's such a girly-girl. See the skirt she's wearing? It's her "pokey pokey skirt". Joe's grandma, Rose gave Lex and Brooklyn these skirts that come with little music boxes in a hidden pocket. These music boxes play the Hokey Pokey. Again and again and again and again and again.... Gee, thanks Rose!
Speaking of Rose, this is Joe's grandma. Ever since I've known her, she's been one feisty lady; always saying what's on her mind; sharp as a tack. She's the one I twittered about last week. She fell and broke her leg. She was hospitalized because of the break and the fact that she had bleeding in her brain and couldn't remember the event.
I'm happy to say the bleeding in her brain is much better. She needed surgery on her femur to repair it, but doctors couldn't operate until her blood was thicker (she'd been taking too much Coumadin and her blood was too thin to do surgery for a couple days.) Her surgery went well, but then she had problems with fluid in her lungs. With diuretics, doctors were able to fix that. Then, because all that other stuff wasn't enough, off the Coumadin, she developed blood clots in her legs! They were able to put a filter in her veins to keep the clots from traveling. Whew! So that's where she stands right now. It looks like she just fell and didn't suffer a stroke like was originally thought. She's recovering well and should be moved to a rehab facility soon. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers!
I would like to formally apologize to my sons' future wives (assuming someone actually marries them at some point in the future). I have tried (honestly, I really, really have) to teach them how to pick up after themselves. I have tried to teach them to make their beds. I remind them on a daily basis that food does not belong in their rooms. I let them know I'm not particularly fond of picking up their dirty underwear from all over their floor. I stress the importance of taking care of their things and they know I nearly burst a vein every time I see them put freshly laundered clothes back into the hamper without ever wearing them, simply because they're too lazy to put them away.
They just don't care and would be perfectly content to live in their own filth. I, on the other hand, can only take it messy for about a week before I start to twitch when I walk by their room. I'm not unreasonable. I mean, I know I've got 6 kids and a small house. It looks cluttered a lot of the time. I'm ok with that. I can deal with a little clutter. I don't mind a stack of bills and papers on the counter. It doesn't bother me that we have a bin with hats, gloves, and other outerwear sitting by the door. But I start to hyperventilate when I can't see the floor. I hate seeing toys all over the place and I nearly have a breakdown when the bathrooms are dirty.
I really try to teach them though. So, tell me, why does their room look like this on a far too regular basis?
Enter at own risk. A tetanus shot and steel-toed boots are recommended. Hazmat gear is probably a wise investment.
They used to have a floor. I haven't seen it in awhile, but I'm pretty sure it was there at one time. I vaguely remember a carpet printed with roads on which they drove their Matchbox cars.
It's like living in the city dump.
Nice
Oh yeah, what else would you store in your drawers, but half-eaten granola bars, and old banana and clementine peels. I know that's what I keep in MY drawers.
and Pop-Tarts and hard-as-a-rock bread fragments
and just in case you get hungry later, it's important to stash food among the collection of weird stuff boys keep
So that's where my last Diet Coke went!
(As I was typing out this post, Jackson walked into the kitchen, half-asleep, grabbed a granola bar, and started back to his room. He is always hungry at night. He gets up and eats in the middle of the night often. If I did that, I'd weigh a million pounds. He's skinny as a rail.)
It looks like a pack of wild dogs slept in their beds
Although I try to teach them and I punish them and I take away privileges and I try and try, sometimes it's just easier to kick them out and go in with a garbage bag, a can of Lysol, and one of those garbage picker-upper stick things. I've become quite the expert at cleaning up after them.
A half hour after I took my life in my own hands and set foot amid the toxic waste.... I KNEW there was a carpet for their cars to drive on! (I left the beds alone because I was afraid of what might be living in there. I think I'll strip them down and throw everything in the laundry tomorrow. It's probably been 3 weeks since I did that!)
the tool bench Clay got for Christmas. He still could not care less about it. Brooklyn, on the other hand, likes to carry the tools around in her purse along with an assortment of lip gloss and misc. crap she finds around the house. She's going to be a bag lady when she grows up.
Other than the broken shade, much better
Ahhhh, I feel so much better when every surface isn't covered in stuff.
I awoke this morning to Brooklyn breathing in my face. I cracked one eye open and lo and behold, there she was, a half inch from my face! Nothing like waking up to a giant pair of eyeballs to scare the crap outta you.
Brooklyn said, "Mama, do you have your ears peered?"
In my, "I haven't had coffee yet!" state, I had no clue what she was saying.
"Huh?" I croaked.
"Do you have your ears peered?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to shake the cobwebs from my head.
She sighed, exasperated at my obvious stupidity and spelled it out for me. "E G S T K!"
I was suddenly awake, cracking up at her spelling. "Ohhhh", I said. "Are my ears pierced?"
"Yes!" she squealed, happy that I finally understood her.
Have you ever written something about someone that you didn't even think twice about and then find out later that they were really upset about what you said? No. Well, not that I know of. I don't think so. Oh great, now you have me worrying that I've offended someone! Honestly, I don't write anything that I wouldn't say to someone's face. I poke fun at people sometimes (me included!), but it's just in fun and not meant to offend.
I do have one question though. Did Clay get disciplined for doing what you told him not to in the first place? Such as no time playing for a while or another discipline? [in regards to Clay picking a banana at the Dells] Nope. I never discipline any of my kids. It takes too much effort.
i was wondering if your book is available here in Singapore? [it's a country in south east asia btw] LOL! Thanks for the geography lesson. I know you can preorder it on Amazon right now, and it looks like it can be shipped anywhere. If you go towards the top of my blog, on the left side, there's a link that will take you directly there.
I agree, it is a law on the books somewhere about giving flatlanders a hard time at every opportunity... "at least we don't have to pay to drive on crummy roads!" [making fun of people from WI] You got me there. I completely agree. The minute I cross over into Wisconsin, the potholes and the tolls disappear.
Would it bother you too much if I told you that I had Lou's for dinner tonight? YES! Especially since you're all skinny! I used to like you Michelle!
I have used Denise Austin tapes and the whole time I am exercising I think to myself, "Oh yeah? You may be skinny but you have no boobs!!" LOL! Good one! I'll have to remember that!
Dawn - What about your computer or laptop? Can you play your dvd's on them? Duh! That never even crossed my mind! Thanks a lot! Wait a minute....gee, thanks a lot! There goes my excuse not to work out for a couple weeks.
I just looked up that lamp company...as others have said its not looking good. I have a suggestion! YOU ARE A BLOGGER WITH LOVING READERS...we start a campaign on your behalf, you tell us, do you want us to live chat them for you or do you want us to overwhelm them with mail to their address demanding your part or your money! You are also friendly with many other bloggers who can enlist their readers to do the same. What do you say? You want us to go to war for you? LOL, you guys are really awesome! Thank you so much to all of you for taking time to research that crummy company and give me advice on getting my money back. I called my bank to dispute the charges and I filed a complaint with the BBB. Now, hopefully I'll get a refund soon so I can buy the part from someone else. Thanks again for all your help!!!
At what age do you push the issue[potty training] I personally don't. I pushed it with my first one and it took him for-ev-er to train. It was not pleasant. After him, I learned not to push it. They'll train when they're ready. It may be at 2, maybe not til 3, maybe not til 4, but eventually it'll happen. I wrote a potty training post HERE and there are a lot comments with advice if you want to read. (Oh my gosh, I just reread that old post and what the heck was I talking about??? Skinning cats??? I must have been sleep deprived when I wrote that!)
I LOVE IT!!!!!!! But I bet if you try that first next time, it wont work!! [kissing Brooklyn to get her to settle down] I'm positive you're right. It'll never work again - not in a million years.
Why is the baby always the worst? So we don't feel sad about not having any more.
Hey, where's your picture? :)
Yeah, and thanks to all of you for asking me for a picture. I have such a complex about my forehead now. I really never noticed how huge it was. Maybe my hairline is receding?! Oh sheesh!
But I genuinely thank all of you guys who said you liked my hair. It makes me feel a little better about the flaming orangeness of it all.
Oh, and I'm sorry you have orange roots. Hey, I had a WHOLE head of orange in 7th grade when I just *knew* that spraying Sun-In would make me beautiful!
I did too! What were we thinking??? Sun-In is NOT for people with brown hair.
Hey, Dawn, I had a question. I just recently saw your "purse dump" post and I saw that you have a bunch of lip glosses. I can't find a good one that I actually like; what's your favorite type?
My favorite lip balm type product isAlba Coconut Cream Lip Balmbecause it's all natural and it tastes like coconut. My favorite gloss right now isBuxom Big & Healthy Full-Color Lip Polish by Bare Escentuals which is ridiculously expensive, but it has that menthol, tingly feel to it. I don't wear lip gloss all that often because I hate when my hair blows across my face and sticks to my lips. Ewww.
What do your kids say about it? [my hair]
They told me it looked stupid and orange. They're gems, no?
Would you like to share with the rest of us your secret to losing weight?
Sure. Eat fewer calories than you burn.
Why are you and your kids continually wearing short-sleeved shirts in pictures from the dead of winter? I thought it was strange that Lexi had on a summer nightgown in the picture you posted from Christmas morning , but now you have on a t-shirt in January.
My kids are impervious to cold because they're well, kids. And I hate things on my arms and neck. I only own a couple long sleeved shirts and none with collars. You could seriously torture me by making me wear a turtleneck. Oh, just the thought of it makes me cringe and claw at my throat. And then there's the fact that I'm always hot. My internal thermostat is broken.
What does Joe say?[about my hair] I don't think he's noticed.
I do have a SSO question, if it's not too late.I was at a mom's group where someone shared a story about a mother who spent an hour a day praying for her children. Her children knew to not interrupt her during her prayer time. The group's reaction to the story was mixed. Some felt, this showed her devotion to God and her children: what a wonderful expression of love, and what a great example she was setting by showing her children the importance of prayer. Others felt that she should get off her knees and tend to her children. God hears prayers while we change diapers and hold screaming babies just as well as when we sit in silence.I'm curious to know your take on it? My take is - live and let live. I'd personally be on my knees because I was washing my floors while asking God to keep me from strangling my kids for tracking mud all over the house. But that's me. I don't think it's anyone's job to assume her children are neglected or that her way of doing things is wrong just because it's not their way. My 2 cents.
A lot of you guys asked me for a picture so I tried to take one last night. When I saw the pictures I'd taken, I realized I look like a Neanderthal. Why hasn't anyone ever told me I have a caveman forehead??? I look like a Geico representative! Ugh. So, naturally I decided to fix it. You know, by cutting my bangs. Now I can disguise my abnormally huge forehead by bangs I cut myself. Bangs that are crooked and stupid looking. ORANGE bangs that are crooked and stupid looking.
This is the reason I stay behind the camera.
Anyway, here are the pictures I took, but they just don't do it justice. I couldn't capture the whole "carrotness" of my hair. Just take my word on it. It isn't pretty.
"Huh? Oh, you're taking the picture now?" Here we have the "Duh Look" perfected.
This is my hair in low light. Looks brown. Brown is fine.
Here it is in more light. ORANGE!
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If you haven't yet, head on over to Manic's blog to see the details on her second annual virtual blood drive. You could win a vacation to Sandestin Golf and Beach Resort in Florida!!! How cool is that? In fact, I think Manic could use a little getaway herself right about now. She should probably bring one of her favorite blogging friends along too! You know, ME!
And check out Michelle's blog HERE! She's starting up a new chat show! Yes, a chat show! Check out her YouTube Channel!!!
Oh, and I've still got a giveaway for Clementines from Spain over HERE.
Because money's a little tight this month, I opted to color my hair myself. This was probably not the best plan considering I'm having pictures taken for an article in Hallmark Magazine next week. OK, so I bought some hair color and opened the box, took out the directions, and began to read.
USAGE ADVISORY - SAFETY WARNINGS (READ BEFORE COLORING) Skin allergy test: to be performed 48 hours before each use of this product,
Nah, does anyone actually ever do this? Who wants to wait 48 hours? I continued reading.
Even if you have already used this or another haircolor product.
Eh, I'm sure it's no big deal if you've had your hair colored in the past. I can just skip this part. I continued.
IMPORTANT: THIS PRODUCT CAN CAUSE AN ALLERGIC REACTION WHICH, IN CERTAIN RARE CASES, CAN BE SEVERE. TO HELP MINIMIZE THE RISK OF AN ALLERGIC REACTION, YOU MUST FOLLOW THESE PRECAUTIONS...
"Severe reactions"? Oooo that doesn't sound good. Maybe I really should do an allergy test. Then again, I DO have my Epi-pen.... Let's throw caution to the wind and slap the stuff on my head.
So, I followed the rest of the directions, mixed the dye, slathered my hair, piled it on top of my head and waited 25 minutes.
I rinsed and conditioned and towel dried. Then I looked in a mirror. OK, it looks plain brown. Plain is fine. It looks pretty close to my natural color. Well, as far as I remember. It's been a while since I've seen my natural color. I parted my hair to see if it covered the gray.
OH. MY. GOSH. Well, the gray was covered all right. It was covered with a funky orange color! Why are my roots orange?! This box does NOT show a model with orange roots! I looked at the directions again. 25 minutes. It said 25 minutes. I waited 25 minutes. WHY IS MY HAIR ORANGE?! Excellent. Hallmark can change the title of the article to CarrotTop: The Mom, The Myth, The Legend.
Maybe if I just change my make-up, no one will notice the orange in my hair. Yeah, like maybe if I do my make-up like this...
Or perhaps like this...
Maybe, just maybe, that'll distract people from the wreck that is my hair. Ugh, I give up. Baseball caps are making a comeback, right?
And check out my review blog HERE for a chance to win a crate of Clementines from Spain!
Getting ready to take the kids to school yesterday, I tried to put Brooklyn's coat on her. "I don't wanna coat!" she screamed. "You have to wear a coat. It's cold outside. It's snowing," I stupidly tried to reason with her. "I don't want it!" "Tough. Come here." I held up her coat and motioned for her to come put her arms in. "NO!" "Brooklyn..." I said in my warning tone. "No! I don't wanna coat!"
I grabbed her and started stuffing her arms into the sleeves. As soon as I got her right arm in and moved onto the left, she pulled the right arm out. I jammed her right arm in and she pulled out the left arm.
"Brooklyn, knock it off!" I yelled. The kids were going to be late for school and here she was screaming and squirming around like I was torturing her.
This continued for a couple minutes until I lost it and swatted her butt. Of course, she didn't feel a thing because the stubborn girl still wears a diaper and probably will until she goes to high school. All it did was make her more mad and cause her scream even louder.
I ended up picking her up, her coat hanging from one arm, and carrying her kicking, flailing, wailing body out to the car. After a 5 minute wrestling match, I got her strapped into her car seat. She screamed her head off the whole way to school. On the bright side, her screaming distracted the other kids from fighting and calling each other names for once.
Then she screamed the whole way home. I unbuckled her and carrying her kicking, flailing, wailing body back inside. The minute I set her down, she kicked off her shoes, tore off her coat and ran back outside. It was 20 degrees and snowing. I let her sit there in the front porch for a minute thinking she'd snap out of it and come back inside immediately. I was wrong. Don't underestimate that girl's stubbornness.
Although I briefly considered letting someone call DCFS on me so they'd come take her away for a little while, I opted to drag her screaming butt back inside. Know what finally calmed her down? Bribing her with gum? Nope. Putting a movie on my little TV for her? Nope. Locking her in the girls' room? Nope. I didn't do any of those things. I picked her up, kissed her forehead and said. "I love you." She instantly stopped crying, looked at me, sniffed a couple times and said, "I love you more, more, more."
"Sheesh! That's all it took to calm you down??? Do you know this is why you're my last baby?"
I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to copy and paste Peggy's words here.
Today the world may have cried a river of tears for a little boy’s life that ended way too soon, but we believe Heaven is REJOYCING over Coleman’s job well done.
Coleman was an amazing child of God and we were so honored to be chosen as his parents.
He left this world at 10:45 last night- he fought HARD until the very end, not wanting to give up, but finally letting go. He was a warrior and a hero our hearts will forever miss. We had the most glorious five years together- a gift we will never forget.
A quick story. :)
One day Coleman heard someone say they were mad at God. He didn’t say a word, but later came to me with this complete look of disbelief on his face and asked, “mommy? did you hear them say they were mad at DOD? WHY would they say that?” He couldn’t even fathom the thought. Then he raised his little eyebrows and said, “well, I hope they don’t say that in PUB-WIC (public)!” and walked away. He knew there were some things he could not change, but HIS faith never wavered.
Lots of people have mentioned their anger toward God …how can He let this happen when so many people have been praying for Coleman? Why didn’t he answer our prayers?
I just can’t be angry at Our God who sent Coleman to us in the first place. Coleman was a child of God, WE were chosen to be his parents- and how blessed we were. Maybe my feelings will change, but like Coleman, I can’t imagine being angry at God. Would we have loved to have had more time with Coleman? YES! I want him back right now, but I know that’s the selfish part of me talking. I know I will hurt more than I can ever imagine in missing him…and I know I will have MANY days of heartache and anger, but my anger is over the fact we live in a world where we can do so much, but still do not have a cure for this horrific disease. Children are paying the price for that. More on that will come-
I guess what I’m saying is I know for a fact, Coleman would NOT want us to be mad at God. He taught us so much in his time here. His lessons will go on for a very long time. He knew where he came from and he knew where he was going. My heart aches for more time, but I’m SO thankful for the time we got with him, and we know we WILL be with him again. God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we want him to…HIS ways are not ours, and that’s hard to accept, but true. It doesn’t mean I don’t question it- it’s hard to understand, but one day we WILL know.
Many people have asked how Caden is doing. Now that’s a long story, but we have assured him that we love him. He is dealing the best way he can- just like us.
I turned my desk Praying Parent calendar today, and thought I’d share what it said… “We are dependent on God to enable us to raise our child properly, and He will see to it that our child’s life is blessed. One thing I have learned is that I should not try to force my own will on my child in prayer. I have found it is better to pray more along the lines of “Lord show me how to pray for this child. Help me to raise him Your way, and may Your will be done in his life.” I believe God’s will was done through Coleman. I know it.
For those inquiring: We will celebrate Coleman’s life on Saturday, Jan. 10th at 10:30 a.m. at Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church in Callender. Visitation will also be at the church on Friday the 9th after 4:00p.m.
Instead of flowers, we’d love donations made to The Hospice House of Fort Dodge, Iowa The Ronald McDonald House of Iowa City or curesearch.org
We’d like to thank EVERYONE who has helped our family along this journey the past two and a half years. We will never be able to explain how much we appreciate the support for our Team. Our carepage family is the BEST! To the hospice house- you will always have a special place in our hearts. You made the most difficult time of our lives one filled with love. Nadine and your staff, God bless you. I know Coleman would like us to thank you as well for making his last days as comfortable as possible for him- and for us all.
Here is one of my favorite pictures of Coleman…
God bless you baby. Coleman said long ago, "some day I won't need NO more meds or pokes, wight mommy?” No more sweetie. You are free.
One more story to share…thanks again Nadine. The Parable of the Twins-
Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy, “isn’t it great that we were conceived? Isn’t it great to be alive?” Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother’s cord that gave them life, they sang for joy, “how great is our Mother’s love, that she shares her own life with us!” As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing. “what does it mean?” asked the one. “It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end, said the other. “But I don’t want to go”, said the other, “but maybe there is life after birth.” But how can there be?” responded the other one. “We will shed our life cord, and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth. No, this is the end.” And so the one fell into deep despair, saying, “If conception ends in birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb? It is meaningless! Maybe there is no mother after all?” “But there has to be,” protested the other. “How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?” How you ever seen our mother?” said one. “Maybe she lives only in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good?” And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear. Finally, the moment of birth arrived. When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and cried for joy. For what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.
Author Unknown
OH OH OH I have to say too- Dr. Woods from Des Moines and Dr. Gilheeney from NY who called us personally- GOD BLESS YOU! Our world needs more doctors like you. It means so much to us. We will never forget your compassion. Thank you.
Blessings to you all, Nev-va Div up- Team Larson
UTUBE is going to pull this video because of the song used, so I thought I'd try to post it and see if it's still viewable...Cman and his bunny foo-foo. That bunny helped him through many hard times, and he still twirled the ribbon even on the high doses of morphine. This is Cman's second bunny after he lost his beloved first. A story of LOVE...
And while I'm at it, Dante earned his wings this morning too.
And Joe's grandmother fell yesterday and broke her femur pretty badly. She needs surgery on her leg, but they haven't been able to do anything because apparently she'd been taking too much Coumadin and her blood is too thin. She also hit her head when she fell and has bleeding in her brain. They're trying to determine if she had a stroke which caused the fall.
"Hi honey! How was schoo....what the...??? Oh, what did you do now? Clayton, seriously, why do you do these things? Did you start your unit on cosmetology this week in preschool? Let me guess, you learned about eyebrow pencils today. What's on the agenda for tomorrow - tweezing and waxing? What did your teacher say? Do your friends think you're weird? Do you have friends? Oh child of mine...." sigh
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