And I Wasn't Even Tempted to Leave Them at the Zoo

When it was time for the kids to go back to school last fall, I felt like we hadn't really done anything over summer vacation. I didn't want to be slug-mom again this year and vowed to do lots of fun things with the kids. We went to a sprayground a couple days ago and we went to the zoo today. The kids were awesome there. I think the secret is removing them from their habitat and taking them out in public. They're confused and disoriented when we leave the house so they temporarily stop fighting with each other and get along. That's my theory and as long as it works, I'll take them on fun trips.


The gang at the zoo


petting the fake wombat


not so sure about the fake wombat


This box was in the wombat's habitat. Now you know the secret to their glowing skin.


Awwww. This looks like such a sweet picture, doesn't it? Austin being a great big brother and carrying Brooklyn who is resting, right? Actually, Brooklyn is pouting because she wants to ride in the wagon.
"Look Brooklyn! There are zebras!"
"I don't like zebras!"
"Look! There's a giraffe!"
"I don't like giraffes!"
"Oooo Brooklyn! Do you see the baby giraffe?"
"I don't like babies!"


A picture of the kids eating lunch? Nope. A picture of Clayton the Destroyer, squishing a bug. He lives to hold, collect, and look at bugs. Then he squishes them. Yep, he's well adjusted.


Forget the wild animals. We go to the zoo to see the geese.


and the ground squirrels


All I can say is - I'm glad I'm not a kangaroo


giraffe


It's a water buck. I just like the fact that he has a bull's eye on his butt.


elephant


rhino (I can't believe I'm labeling these pictures. If you don't know what an elephant or a rhino looks like, there's something wrong.)


hmmm, this used to be a fountain. I wonder what it is now....


Oh I see! It's the human exhibit! Here are the humans in their natural habitat. See how they interact with each other.


sting rays


I have no idea why Jackson's tongue is hanging out. I do know that Brooklyn is listening to the cup though. Maybe she hears the ocean?

An Apple a Day....

An apple a day......

...would probably crack my tooth, give me diarrhea, and make my face break out in a rash.

I really didn't have enough fun going to the gyno and getting my mammogram last month, so I went for a physical today. Actually I called back in February to set up the appointment. This was the soonest they could get me in.

Yesterday while I was out, the doctor's office called to confirm my appointment today. They left a message requesting me to return their call to confirm the appointment. I didn't get home until after office hours last night because the kids and I were out at a sprayground and then at a baseball game. Thus, I didn't return the call to confirm that I'd actually be at the appointment I had waited 4 months for. So, they called again this morning before the sun was even up. I don't answer the phone when I'm sleeping, so they left another message telling me to call back when the office opened at 9:00am and confirm my appointment. When I got up, I called them back, navigated their phone maze and left the message that I'd be there.

Then I asked them to call me back and confirm that they'd received my confirmation.

I don't know why, but stuff like that bugs me. Just like my pediatrician's office that INSISTS on seeing my insurance card every time I go. It doesn't matter if I assure them that it's the exact same card as it was 4 days ago when I was there, they still need to physically see it again. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but it's little stuff like this that makes me nuts.

Anyway, I went to this physical with the mindset that I wasn't going to like the doctor. Good attitude, no? I had the most wonderful doctor ever and then he moved to some remote island or Montana or something where he could really help people who needed it. Hello? What about your patients here? What am I - chopped liver? (which I'm sure would make a fine sandwich if you mixed it with chocolate syrup, mayonnaise, and corn niblets.) I envision him making housecalls in a Little House on the Prairie kind of town. Anyway, his noble move left me without a doctor for several years because I just knew I wouldn't find another doctor who would compare. And really, except for the times the kids have shared their strep throat germs with me, I haven't needed to see a non-OB doctor for years.

It's hard to tell from just one meeting, but I think this guy has potential. I like him so far. Well, except for the part where he told me I was insanely fat need to exercise for good heart health. I didn't like that part so much. Or the part where I opened my mouth and said, "Ahhhh" and he said, "holy mackerel, just how many cavities do you have in there?" "Do you floss everyday?" What, is he a dentist too? Oh and speaking of dentists....my tooth fell out on the way to the doctor today. It. Fell. Out. I freaked out! In fact, I freaked out so much that I didn't notice the Road Closed sign and I drove the wrong way into oncoming traffic! While holding my TOOTH in my hand, freaking out! Yeah, that was fun. A construction worker kindly pointed out that I was going the wrong way. "Hey! You can't drive that way! The road is closed, moron idiot ma'am!"

So I turned around, drove the long way to the doctor's office, pulled into the parking lot and managed to pop my tooth/crown thingy back on. Sort of. By the time I got in the office (10 minutes late thanks to the closed road) my blood pressure was 430/280 which, come to find out, is a bad thing.

Anyway, here's my diagnosis: I'm tired because I have six kids and I don't exercise because bad things happen when I try. (Did you click the link? No? Then how can you know what I'm talking about? Go back and click it. I'll wait. insert nice elevator music here Back? Good.) I guess I also have carpal tunnel syndrome. So that's why my hands always fall asleep. Who knew?

I have to admit that I was impressed with how long he took to talk to me. I didn't feel rushed at all. He asked questions and actually listened to what I had to say. That's very important to me. You know - because I like to talk because I want to feel like the doctor understands what I'm saying and cares about it. I think a lot of doctors miss this. You start to tell them about something that's bothering you and they cut you off mid-sentence because they already know everything and don't need to hear any details from you blah blah blah. I suppose you could attribute it to "the system". Doctors probably have to see a certain number of people a day and don't have time to spend more than a couple minutes with each one. Still, that is one thing I cannot overlook when searching for a physician. In fact, I'd say his bedside manner was way more important than distance, hours, fees, etc. OK, I digress as usual.

Let's see - where was I? Oh yes, then I had 52 vials of blood drawn. After that, they sent me to pee in a cup. I must say that I haven't peed in a cup non-pregnant in years. I don't even remember the last time. Man, it is MUCH, MUCH easier to go IN the cup as opposed to ON your hand when you don't have a giant belly in your way.

So, here we go -
Stupid pap - check!
Stupid mammogram - check!
Stupid physical - check!
Stupid dentist - calling tomorrow....

I'm not going to anymore doctors for 10 years unless I'm dead. Now it's Joe's turn to get those tonsils yanked so I he can get a good night's sleep.

GE Caulk Singles

You know those ads that run along the side of my blog? Truth be told, I don't generally pay too much attention to them. I hadn't really checked out the one for GE caulk until a friend brought it to my attention.

We have a leaky shower. It's been that way forever. It's been on my husband's "to do" list for like 40 years. I finally came to the realization that although I wanted the shower taken care of, this was not a high priority on my husband's list. I was so angry that he wasn't fixing it that I decided to just do it myself. I'm not a big DIY (do it yourselfer), but I was determined to show my husband that I could caulk the leaking shower myself. Brilliant plan, no?

So, I went to the store, bought a thing of caulk, got home, and realized I had no way to get the caulk out of the can. Apparently you need a caulk gun. Who knew? Bob the Builder I'm not. I mentioned to my husband that I'd bought some caulk and all he had to do was grab his caulk gun and seal the shower. That darn container of caulk sat there there for 10 years. Or something like that.

So, after my friend brought the GE caulk ad to my attention, I checked it out. Guess what - GE is giving away FREE samplesof their new caulk singles. These things look really cool! You don't need a caulk gun to dispense it. Simply tear open the package and squeeze it out. According to their ads, you should be able to effortlessly apply an even bead of caulk. I filled out the form to receive my free sample.

OK, so here's the shower, complete with mold damage, that was never caulked and is now out of my realm of fixability. It's my husband's job now for sure.


Here's the before picture of the sink that I caulked...


The reason there was a gaping space between the sink and the wall was because the kids have done a little too much of this....


I got my GE caulk single in the mail.....


I tore off the top and just squeezed out a thin, ...


almost even bead of caulk.


Then I simply smoothed it out with my expensive caulk smoothing tools finger.


One little note: Don't smear this stuff all over your hands like your favorite moisturizer and then stick them under water in an effort to wash it off, and then try to wipe it off with a paper towel, then rub your hands together some more, then use your nail to scrape the goo off, and then try washing them again. Not that I did that or anything. Just take my word for it.

So, just click HERE to get your free GE caulk single sample.

Want a Sandwich?

My grandmother gave me one of her old cookbooks thinking there would be recipes in there that would work with the Feingold diet that we're on. Most of my cookbooks use prepackaged ingredients (like cans of soup, etc.) that have artificial additives or preservatives. This cookbook, copyright 1931, uses whole foods with no commercially prepared shortcuts. BTW - I have nothing against shortcuts. I love shortcuts. I've always looked for any shortcuts I could find to help me in the whole "making a decent dinner for a family of eight" thing. It's just that I'm trying to cut out all artificial stuff (at least where Jackson's concerned.)

Sooo, I was paging through this 77 year old cookbook and a section labeled "sandwiches" caught my eye. A whole section on sandwiches? For real? The beginning of the chapter actually explains what a sandwich is. The following is from the sandwich chapter:

"Sandwiches are made of one of more slices of bread or toast, spread with a flavorous filling.
There are two types: closed and open. A closed sandwich is made by spreading a filling on one slice of bread and covering it with a second slice. An open-faced sandwich is made by spreading the filling on a slice of bread and serving it without placing a second slice on top.
Any open-faced sandwich made with meat should be served with a well-seasoned hot sauce.
The filling may be a single food or a combination of foods. It may be softer or it may be firmer in texture than the bread.
Ingredients used in making fillings should be selected for flavor. They should have an appetizing appeal."
As opposed to making disgusting, unappealing sandwiches.

It goes on to talk about how to slice loaves of bread. For you real younguns, bread didn't come pre-sliced in plastic bags back then.

Sandwiches in my life consist of peanut butter or turkey and cheese with the occasion tuna or chicken salad. I searched through this section and was amazed at the "sandwich" combinations in there. It was as if someone opened their cabinet, closed their eyes, reached in and grabbed out the first 4 things they found. They proceeded to mix them together, spread it on bread, and call it a sandwich. Anyway, in no particular order, here are ten of my favorite (and by favorite, I mean "most interesting") sandwiches from this cookbook.

10. APRICOT HORSERADISH
2/3 c. dried apricots
1/4 c. sugar
1 1/2 c. cold water
Few grains salt
Horseradish

Wash apricots. Add water. Cover. Simmer slowly until fruit is soft. Add sugar. Simmer 5 minutes. Drain. Mash fruit. Add salt. Add horseradish to taste. Use as a filling between buttered slices of whole wheat bread.
OK, it was sounding like a nice dessert until the whole horseradish thing.


9. BAKED BEAN
Mash baked beans. Add finely chopped pickle to suit taste. Moisten with mayonnaise until of spreading consistency. Use as a filling between slices of whole wheat bread. If desired, a relish spread may be substituted for the mayonnaise and chopped pickle. Minced onion, and catsup may be added.
Oh good - I'm glad you can add catsup. It would be just gross without that.


8. PRUNE
Remove stones from dried prunes which have been cooked until tender. Drain. Chop prunes. Combine with an equal quantity of peanut butter. Moisten with lemon juice, honey, or mayonnaise to a spreading consistency. Add a few grains of salt. Mix thoroughly. Use as a filling between buttered slices of whole wheat or white bread.
Use in place of Alli


7. DEVILED PEANUT
1/2 c. deviled ham
salt
1/2 c. ground peanuts
2 T. chopped pickle
mayonnaise dressing
Combine ham, peanuts, and pickle. Season to taste. Moisten with mayonnaise to a spreading consistency. Use as a filling between thin slices of graham bread.
Otherwise entitled The Pregnant Woman's Delight


6. TONGUE CHICKEN
Arrange thin slices of tongue on hot buttered toast. Spread with mayonnaise. Cover with slices of chicken breast. Cover with a second slice of buttered toast. Serve at once. If desired, lettuce and sliced tomato may be added.
I don't know how to spell the gagging noise I just made.


7. SARDINE
Remove bones and skin from 10 sardines. Shred sardines. Moisten with mayonnaise dressing to a spreading consistency. Add a few drops lemon juice and 1 teaspoon melted butter. Mix thoroughly. Use as a filling between slices of whole wheat or white bread.
Mmmmm, imagine the tasty goodness!


6. GRAPENUT
1 c. Grapenuts
1/4 c. grated cheese
1/4 t. paprika
1 t. dry mustard
2/3 t. salt
1 T. catsup
5 drops Tabasco sauce
Combine ingredients. Mix thoroughly. Use as a filling between buttered slices of bread.
I've never been fond of breakfast cereals that look like rabbit pellets, but maybe I've just been doing it wrong. I simply need to add cheese and Tabasco to it!


5. DUTCH LUNCH
Cover thinly sliced onion with ice-water. Let stand 1 hour. Drain. Dry. Dip in French dressing. Place on buttered slices of rye bread. Cover with a thin layer of sauerkraut. Dust lightly with paprika.
Finish with breath mints. Really strong breath mints.

4. OLIVE PINEAPPLE
6 slices pineapple
12 stuffed olives, sliced
1/4 c. chopped raisins
1/2 c. cottage cheese
cream or mayonnaise dressing
salt

Combine raisins, cheese, and 1/2 the olives. Moisten with cream or mayonnaise. Season to taste. Cut each slice pineapple in 2 slices. Spread cheese filling between 2 slices of pineapple. Garnish with remaining olives.
This isn't a sandwich. It's nausea inducing, goo-filled fruit.


3. BOSTON BROWN BREAD
Prepare steamed brown bread. Cool overnight. Cut in thin slices. Spread with cream cheese which has been moistened to a spreading consistency with cream and catsup, or mayonnaise.
Steamed brown bread? Anyone? Any clue? Anyone?


2. TOASTED CHEESE
Place thin slices of cheese between slices of bread. Toast in oven or in toaster. Serve at once.
Seriously? They needed directions for this?


1. MARSHMALLOW
Place plain or chocolate covered marshmallows between crisp crackers. Press firmly together. Serve at once. If desired, the marshmallows may be toasted before they are placed between the crackers.
Yes, we call this a s'more in the 21st century.


I can't wait to share some other sections with you guys!

Dr. Jekyll & Miss Brooklyn

I guess I'm lucky that my first 5 kids weren't like this, but boy oh boy, does Brooklyn have a stubborn, bratty streak a mile wide! Actually, come to think of it, Austin was like this when he was younger too. I guess I've just blocked it from my mind. When Austin was little, he spent two years wearing the same baseball cap - purple and orange with Tigger on it. He wore it all day, every day, day after day. He wore it to church. He wore it to sleep. He wore it in the bathtub. He melted down if we tried to get him to take it off. In every picture of him, from that time period, there was a hat on his head. I still have that hat (along with the kids' going home from the hospital outfits, blankies and Christening outfits) packed away in a box in my attic.

Anyway, I digress. Brooklyn is a temperamental, stubborn little thing. When we got home after looking at vans tonight, Brooklyn took off her shoes and set them right inside the door. Joe told her, "Put your shoes away."

She screamed, "NO!"

"Yes, Brooklyn. Let's move them away from the door," Joe said amicably as he picked up her shoes.

Brooklyn screamed like he had poured boiling acid on her and grabbed her shoes from him and put them back by the door.

Ok then.

I tried to distract her by cheerfully saying, "Come on, Brooklyn. Let's go get your jammies on!"
I think she misunderstood me. She must have thought I said, "I'm going to break both your ankles now" because she screamed, "NOOOO!!!!" as she threw herself on the floor, screaming and crying.

I picked her wailing and squirming little body up off the floor and said, "That's enough Brooklyn. Let's change your diaper and get your jammies on."

She threw herself back in my arms as she tried to wriggle loose from my grip. All the while she's screaming her head off because clearly, having one's diaper changed is a fate worse than death.
As I tried to change her diaper, she flipped herself over about a dozen times. I pull open the tapes; she flips over. I flip her back; she screams. I pull her diaper off; she flips over. I flip her back; she cries. I wipe her butt; she flips. I pull her back; she flips again. I pull her back and scoot a new diaper under her butt; she flips back. I turn her over on her back again and fasten one tab; she flips over. I flip her back; she screams.....

I just love changing toddler's diapers.

Because I dared to change her diaper and put her pajamas on, she went into a huge fit of screaming and crying and pulled her pajamas right back off. She looked at me and I swear I heard her say, "That'll show you!" She cried so much that I thought she was going to throw up. Can you imagine getting so worked up putting your pajamas on? I don't know about you, but I'm thrilled when that time of day rolls around and I can put my pajamas on. I personally love sleep!
Anyway, I walked away and let her throw her fit. (I was getting far away just in case she actually threw up!)

Eventually, without an audience, she gave up. A switch turned off and she came walking over to me, climbed up next to me on the couch, grabbed my arm, smiled up at me and said, "I love you, Mommy. You're so cute."

I'm convinced she's possessed.

I Spy

I spy a crochet hook, a key, and a watch that's for me. I spy a bracelet, a bobby pin, and a Lego-guy Anakin. I spy the memory card I lost years ago, and Tyrone, and 2 scrunchies, and a magnetic ball you can throw. I spy a Cootie tongue, 2 Pokemon games, and 2 fish that don't look the same.

When Joe put our old couch at the curb for garbage pick-up the other day, I asked him, "Did you look in the cushions first?" He told me that he had. Being the trusting wife that I am, I went out and looked for myself. Now, in all fairness, these things weren't under the cushions. No, they had fallen way below that and had gotten stuck in the frame of the couch. I was only able to retrieve them by cutting the thin fabric on the bottom of the couch and reaching in to pull this stuff out.

Score! It's like Christmas! I lost that memory card and my watch a long, long, long time ago.

Sunday Sound Out

Hey there! I've been MIA the last couple days because the AC adapter on my laptop broke. My computer would only charge if I stood on my head and held the wire together with my thumb and my pinky on my left hand while holding my computer with my feet while making sure it was pointing due north. Thankfully it's still under warranty and after spending half an hour on the phone with "Steve" from India, I was assured a new part would be shipped to me right away. Sooo (real quick before my battery dies) here's the S.S.O...

Hey! You said the next time you made a cake that you'd try to remember to video it. Did you remember?
Of course not. Ugh. I'm sorry. I did, however, remember to take a shower today. Does that count?

Dawn, does Lexi have migraines?
She never has before, but Austin gets them and I used to before having kids so it wouldn't surprise me if they started for her too.

Something occurred to me after reading your post about the second mammo. If they do the ultrasound to get a definitive answer after the second mammo (and the rather painful stretching and squishing, why don't they just skip the second mammo and go right straight to ultrasound?!?
The technician's son is starting college in the fall and her daughter's getting braces. These things don't pay for themselves.

I have a 10 month old and am considering becoming a stay-at-home mom, but I don't know, it kind of seems like you lose part of your identity. Why did you decide to stay home?
I don't think you "lose" your identity. I just think it just changes and that's not a bad thing. There was no decision for us. We just knew I'd stay home when we had kids. Then again, I didn't go to college. I didn't have a "career" that I'd worked at for years, you know? I had a job that I liked, but it wasn't my life. It was very easy for me to decide to stay home.

What kind of discipline techniques do you use?
the rack, the stocks, being drawn and quartered, you know - the usual.

You mentioned Clay has ear tubes. Do any of your other kids? What do you do when you take them swimming? Do you have the "custom" fit earplugs?
Right now just Clay and Lex have tubes. I've done the custom plugs before, but I honestly don't think they fit or stay in any better than the wax kind you can get over the counter. Plus, if they fall out, it's a lot easier to part with $2.99 than $150.00.

I do have a question, my 6 yr. old has a speech problem. For instance he calls sherbert shorebert. I think its kinda cute so that's what I call it now. Do you correct your little ones or just go with the flow?
It depends. I corrected Brooklyn's pronunciation of the word "truck" for example, but I don't worry about it when Clay says "Fank you" instead of thank you. He can't really do the TH sound yet anyway.

Remember how Bill Cosby used to say that kids are brain damaged and that's why they can't remember something you've told them a million times?
LOL! Love Bill Cosby!



We're at the pool - my crazy 2 1/2 yr old boy is in a swim diaper. I catch him crouching, thinking "he's trying to leave a present". Did he ever! Next thing I know, I see brown water running down his leg (thankfully he wasn't in the pool at that moment). flash forward to the bathroom. No shower, just a changing table and a small sink. Imagine something really gross and runny and you got it - all over his legs and changing table. I had friends relaying wipes to me to help out. Then picture trying to bathe a 2 year old standing in a tiny sink. It was not fun! But at the end of it all - after much cleaning with lots of soap - I had to laugh and that's when I thought "what would Dawn do?"
It cracks me up that you thought of me, but I applaud your resourcefulness! Moms have the amazing ability to handle any situation, don't they?

But I will say that manly Dawn could potentially be pretty hot with the right haircut. How disturbing is that?
So disturbing I might have nightmares

thank u very much for ur laughter and for being u..hehe..may GOD continue to bless u and ur family..now i've got a quick question..while i have a free moment..anywho..i was wondering..how did u know that ur son had vitiligo? also, wat kind of symtoms did ur kid show for having ADHD? i'm just curious..thanks for answering have a great day and weekend..'ater
First of all, is this a text message from my daughter? I've discovered I don't speak "text". It's probably because I'm embarrassing and old. As far as Jax's Vitiligo - I searched online when I first noticed his white spots. I suspected Vitiligo so I took him to a dermatologist and had my suspicions confirmed. As far as ADHD, it was a combination of many things. He never walked; just ran. He gave up naps before he was 2 and was always on the go. He just doesn't seem to be able to stop and think. He'd run out into the street to chase a ball without a second thought even though he's 9. He has 2 volumes - loud and louder; he can't sit still for 2 minutes, among other things.

but, what do you say to yourself to make the negativity and/or down feelings about being judged go away? i mean, i can "amen" your post and repeat it to myself but i'm not taking it to heart. suggestions??
OK, this is going to sound doofy, but awhile back I got some negative comments and they bummed me out. Later that night, I was flipping channels on TV and this show caught my eye. Now this is not something I would ordinarily watch, but I just felt compelled to leave the channel right there. Anyway, it was all about how God has big plans for you and don't let the naysayers get you down. There will always be negative people trying to get you down, but if God is for you, who can be against you? It helped me put things in perspective.

Although I know that the chances of you reading this comment are extremely low...
Nope. I read all my comments. :) My email, on the hand, generally piles up for weeks...

Don't judge me for my spelling/grammar ;-)
I only judge spelling and grammar on nasty comments. See HERE for explanation.

Thanks to a reader named Tina who sent me a link to this commercial. I laughed out loud!



EDITED TO ADD: Please make a note of my blog address change. It will soon be changing to BecauseISaidSo.com.

And check out MY OTHER BLOG for a chance to win a FREE HP printing mailbox and 3 FREE months of Presto service!

Just a Quick Note

My friend Melissa told me that her 4 year old daughter asked her if she could only be one thing when she grows up, or if she could be more than one. She wants to be a "Mailman, I mean a mail girl, a mermaid, a mom, a dog, a dolly and a princess, of course."
She's a character and the stuff she says just cracks me up. It made me wonder what Clay would say to the question, so I asked him.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A grown-up," was his answer.
Well duh.


Please pray for little Coleman who is having his MRI today.
And when you get a chance, check out my links to the right. I've added several worth looking at.


Don't forget to check out my other blog HERE. I have a review on Presto email service and the HP printing mailbox along with a Father's Day giveaway!

And make a note that I'm going to be changing my blog over to my website soon. You'll be able to find it at BecauseISaidSo.com.

Half Empty or Half Full?

This is a story of my day. I've written it from two points of view. Each story is written about the exact same events on the exact same day involving the exact same people. And each version is totally true.



SCENARIO ONE:


There have been threats written on the bathroom walls at several of the schools around the suburbs. Although I'm 99% sure these threats were written by some punk who thinks he's really funny, I wasn't willing to chance my kids' lives on that 1% chance the threats were serious. Sooo, I kept my oldest kids home from school today. Savannah went shopping with friends and enjoyed her morning. Austin made the little ones breakfast while I took the middle ones to school. Then he put a movie on for the kids to watch while I read mail, did some laundry, and washed dishes. When the movie was done, Austin got out the vacuum and went to town cleaning the family room floor. I didn't even have to ask him to do it!

After that, I took the kids out for lunch to treat them because they'd been so good all morning. We went to Ihop. When the food arrived, Austin cut up Brooklyn's pancake for her and I cut up Clay's. I didn't even have to ask Austin. He just did it. The kids were really awesome there; they ate their lunches; used good manners; and thanked me for taking them.

When we got back home, Austin mowed the yard. What a great kid!

Later when I picked the middle kids up from school, Lexi ran outside to play. She looked up at a bird sitting in a tree and admired his sweet song.

We ended up having McDonald's for dinner tonight. Yesterday I baked cupcakes for Lexi to take to school to celebrate her birthday. I used a boxed cake mix and realized that Jax and Clay wouldn't be able to eat the leftover cupcakes because of the artificial ingredients, so I made a batch of special cupcakes for them. I put chocolate chip cookie dough in the bottom of muffin cups and mixed up cheesecake filling for the top. Mmmm. Then I made hotdog buns for dinner. After that, Jackson reminded me that I needed to make like a thousand Greek cookies for him to take to school today for his cultural project. I think I was baked out yesterday, so it was McD's for dinner tonight.

At Lexi's baseball game, instead of playing at the park, Clay sat by me through the whole game. What a sweet guy.

Bedtime!



SCENARIO TWO:


I overslept and while I rushed around to get my middle kids to school, my oldest two sulked because I kept them home from school, making them miss all the fun activities going on today. I'm just mean that way. Austin made the little ones breakfast. On the menu was popcorn and chocolate milk. Then he transformed the family room into a movie theater by hanging blankets from all the windows to really darken the room. He dragged out every bean bag chair and pillow in the house for the little ones and gave them bowls of their "breakfast" to eat while watching the movie. Sometime during the movie, they spilled popcorn all over the place. It's probably because about 20 minutes into the film, they lost interest and started jumping around the place like baboons. Upon seeing the spilled popcorn, I gave Austin a look that told him he'd better clean it up before I started raving like a psycho.

He started vacuuming up huge amounts of popcorn, but was having trouble getting the vacuum to suck it all up. He removed the hose from the unit and a fountain of popcorn flew out like snow from a snowblower. The room was covered in kernels! Ugh. It turns out the vacuum was full. After dumping its contents, I turned it back on, but it was dead. Well, it's mostly dead anyway. We don't have a good track record with vacuums. Probably from overuse.

In an effort to get out of the house and stop the whining, I took the kids to Ihop for lunch. While waiting for our meals, Clay looked around the restaurant and said, "We're not sitting by the clock. The clock is over there by the pretty flowers." I'm amazed at that kid's memory. The last time we were there, we did indeed sit on the other side of the restaurant near a clock. Brooklyn piped up with, "I go sleep in the clock."

"You sleep in the clock?"

"Uh-huh!" she confirmed beaming from ear to ear.

"I see."

"Mom, it's 14 o'clock."

"It's 14 o'clock, huh? Do you sleep when it's 14 o'clock?"

"Uh-huh!"

"OK then"

When our waiter delivered our lunch, Brooklyn screamed, "I LOVE ca-cakes! YAY!!! CA-CAKES!" (pancakes)

Upon seeing his own pancake decorated with whipped cream and two cherries, Clay shouted out, "Red berries! Mom! Red berries! I LOVE red berries!"

"Yes, Brooklyn. Shhhh, I know you like pancakes. Clay, those are cherries and shhhh, the whole restaurant doesn't need to know how much you love cherries."

Toward the end of our meal, Clay slipped off the booster seat and slid under the table. He popped back up with a stray crayon and a look on his face like he'd just found buried treasure.

Before we left, Brooklyn pointed to a little girl behind us and said (very loudly) Mom! Look! Baby! Mom, there's baby! Mom! MOM! Look there baby! Look Mom! BABY! I see baby Mom? I play with baby? Mommy! Baby! Over there baby! I play with baby!"

The mom of the little girl looked at me, afraid that I'd actually let Brooklyn run over there and bug her daughter. And I could just see her thinking the words, "Does your daughter ever shut up?"

When we got back home, Austin mowed the back yard. After he finished, he took the lawnmower to the front lawn, but couldn't get it started again. I also tried to start it to no avail. I checked the gas tank - full. I checked the oil - notsofull. In fact empty. We probably killed the lawnmower by running it without oil. Let's see - vacuum, lawnmower, what's next?

After I picked the middle kids up from school, Lex ran outside and looked up at a bird sitting in a tree. The bird pooped on her head. She ran inside crying, "A bird pooped on me!"

I looked at her head and said, "It's probably just a raindrop, honey."

"It's not raining! A bird pooped on me!!!!"

Sure enough, a bird pooped on her head. A bird actually pooped on her head! How often does something like that happen?

"Grab the shampoo, hon."

I didn't even think about dinner during the day today. It never crossed my mind to pull anything out to thaw and I need to go to the grocery store anyway, so I sent Joe for a nutritious meal of fast food for dinner tonight.

At Lexi's baseball game, Clay started whipping pinecones around the playground. I told him to stop or he'd have to sit with me on the bleachers. As I turned around, I was hit square in the back with a flying pinecone. Guess who had to sit with me for the rest of the game.

Bedtime!

Simpsonize Me!

I got the link for this fun site from my friend Brenda (WARNING: her blog is NOT rated PG). After you get the kids to bed, go check it out. Or better yet, check it out with the kids and transform their faces. My kids had a ball with it.

So, here are the many sides of Dawn...


Baby Dawn - kinda looks like one of those creepy dolls that come to life in horror movies


Old Dawn - I think I need to start using more sunscreen


African American Dawn (my ears and neck are still white for some reason)


East Asian Dawn


Weat Asian Dawn


Male Dawn - OK I'm a little creeped out by how manly I look...


Modigliani Dawn


Botticelli Dawn


Mucha Dawn - this one almost looks like my high school yearbook picture!


Manga Dawn


Ape Dawn chimp-face


Can you believe she's only 12 years old? This is what happens when you smoke, kids!


Austin, ready to enter the world of Pokemon

And then because the kids and I hadn't wasted enough time with that site, we decided to laugh ourselves silly as we Simpsonized the family.



Joe Simpson

Dawn Simpson


Austin Simpson


Savannah Simpson


Jackson Simpson


Lexington Simpson



Clayton Simpson

Brooklyn Simpson

I wasn't entirely happy with the Simpson version of me so I thought I'd make it look more realistic; more like the real me....

What??? OK, ok, so here's what the real me really looks like.....


Note the complete absence of ankles, the hair that needs to be dyed, and the missing digits.


PS - you might want to wait until the kids go to bed to play with these sites or you might get sucked in and forget all about making dinner....
If you're at work, well then go ahead and waste the afternoon playing. ;)