I'm Blessed. And So Are You.

Well, it's day two of Jackson without meds. As of right now, I have to say that the diet isn't working. He's off the wall and completely out of control. I'm not sure if he's just eaten something he shouldn't have had or what. I'm not going to give up, but it's going to take a little detective work and a lot of patience, I'm afraid.

I'm so busy this month, I feel like I'm drowning. I haven't had enough time to spend with my kids, I'm letting my house slide. I haven't cooked a decent meal in over a week and I have laundry piled to the ceiling. Brooklyn has given up naps, but she still needs them. I should have said no to being in this play, but it's too late now. I still need to get one costume before Wednesday. I'm making plans to meet with Michelle and Mimi because Kendra was so kind and got us tickets to Oprah's show.

I need to find a way to clone myself so I can make sure the kids practice their instruments, read, do their homework, and get to baseball practice on time and at the right field so we're not standing around amid a bunch of Orioles waiting for other Red Sox to show up. Not that that's ever happened or anything. Ahem.

I haven't had time alone with Joe in forever. Perhaps that's why he knocked 4 holes in the freaking family room ceiling while I was out of town. I guess he didn't remember that brief conversastion where I said, "I don't want lights in the ceiling, and even if I did, we have a lot of other stuff that's higher on the To Do list."

Brooklyn's walking around in a shirt, diaper, snowboots and a backpack while eating leftover pancakes from lunch right now and you know what? I don't have the energy to try and find where she took off her pants. Whatever.

I believe I'm finally done with the book now. I think I may be done with the articles I've written. Maybe. I hope. I'm down to only 50 pieces of mail in my box at the moment.

As busy as I am, I know I can always come here and read your comments and feel a little bit better. Like this one I just got this afternoon....

Dawn! I have been such a big fan of your website for many months now. I used to love how long your blogs would be and how hilarious they were. Then, you started sharing less and less with us because of your book deal, which makes me a tad angry since without us, the readers, you really wouldn't have a book deal. I was so excited to get your book but because this blog has become really boring and seems like such a big time waste for you, I am going to stop reading your blog and won't buy your book. Something has happened to you. You are not funny anymore and seem angry for having to type a paragraph for your readers. You have also said in the past that you exaggerate on a lot of your posts, which makes me think that your household is not as chaotic as you make it seem. You have time to fly every other week, rehearsals, two blogs and your book? Something smells fishy and I think a lot of your fans understand this now....it is sad. I used to be a huge fan, sorry you gave up on us.

LR


Well, LR, I want to thank you for following my instructions on sending me hate mail. There's nothing worse than hate mail containing misspelled words. In the future, so you know, you can just leave. You don't need to inform me of your decision or ask permission, okay. Enjoy not reading my blog and not getting my book. God bless.

Actually, the things that always makes me feel better when I get just a bit too busy are my kids...

One day while the kids were on spring break, Lexi and Clay got up early and made everyone lunch. At 6:30 in the morning. There they were, preparing half a dozen indentical plates, assembly-style. I'm really more of a "coffee for breakfast" kind of person, but how sweet were they?

It's times like that, even though there was peanut butter smeared on every inch of countertop and pretzel crumbs on the floor, that I smile and know that everything in my life is worthwhile. I'm where I'm supposed to be right now. But like everyone else, I'm only human. I regularly get overwhelmed and have a hard time keeping up.

We've all been there. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has taken her child to baseball practice at the wrong field or the wrong time. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has spent an hour looking for my car keys only to find them in the refrigerator. I'm positive I'm not the only person with laundry piled up on the floor, or a baby walking around in a shirt and snow boots saying, "TOTALLY WICKED!" repeatedly. Okay, well maybe I'm on my own with that last one. But my point is - when things seem overwhelming and hectic and you find yourself living in a playland pit of all the balls you've dropped this week, just remember to take a moment and relax. Take a breath and smile and know that you're blessed.

Sunday Sound Out

forgive me if I missed this - but how do you know Mimi?
We just "met" online this past summer.

My husband has Aspergers and I'm wanting him to try the Feingold diet (is that what your kids are on?). How long before you noticed a difference with the diet change with your kids?
They are on Feingold. It took a couple weeks before we saw a difference in Clay. We just took Jax off his medicine, so we'll see if it's really working with him...

Ok I have a wustion for next weeks SSO How come you didn't put the persons name after the wuestion like you normally do?
What's a wustion?

Also I plan on buying your book where will it be sold?
at book stores

Impressive map! How many pieces of mail does it represent without counting all of the entries?
I'm not sure. 300? I need to update it again. I have another dozen or so to add to it.

Thank you for posting that song -- now it's stuck in MY head!!! Who sings it?
The Newsboys

Here's a new one for you...


6 kids?? Are you crazy
I had to have six kids or my URL wouldn't make sense.

Being that I am also "pear shaped" and short, PLEASE tell me where you got those pants!!!
I got them at Lane Bryant. They've got a great line of pants that actually FIT!

When is your book going be out in the bookstores?
August of this year

Do you plan to have book signings if so, where?
I don't really know yet. I am meeting with my publisher later this month though. Hopefully I'll get some more details soon.

When you throw up does it make you have to throw up? I mean, you can't do your kid's puke so how in the world do you handle your own?
YES! It was so awful. Thank God for my husband who CAN handle puke.

I dont see how you lasted this long .I can tell your tired when you write its not near as funny as it used to be actually some things just dont make sence anymore..then again what does make sence when raising kids?
Yes, it looks like you may be a bit tired too. You're not making much "sence" either.

Okay, Dawn, so, seriously, this week's blog is an April Fool's joke, right?
Umm yes. That's why I wrote "April Fool!" on it.

So how do you figure out the google searches?
I use Stat Counter.

with all the things that need to get done regularly, which things DO you get done and how do you decide which ones to let slide a while?
Ugh. Lately I feel like everything has been sliding. I keep telling myself, "If I can just get through this week, things will settle down." But then the next week rolls around and it's the same thing all over again. This is a really busy month for me.

Can you set up the links in your blog to open a new page instead leaving your site?
I don't know if it can be done or not, but I certainly can't do it. Be patient. I'll be getting a brand new website in 2 more months.

"Won't he be surprised, when he gets his 50 rolls of film back..."Hey Dawn,the 90's called, they want their camera back! No one gets rolls of film developed anymore.
The guy who sat behind me on the plane does.

And a quick question, how do i actually get people to start reading my blog:P?
List a pack of Pokemon cards for sale on eBay.

Did you contact your editor and publisher or did they contact you? If you contacted them, how did you go about it? Just wondering, thanks.
I had agents and publishers contact me. Yeah, I know, I did things backwards.

Aaargh! Dawn, you just couldn't let me go to bed tonight without having something else to feel guilty about, hmmm? Just one more ball that I've dropped... Ugh, I'm sorry. I've dropped so many balls, I feel like I'm living in a playland ball pit.

OK, I've got to finish going over my manuscript so I can get it back to my editor tomorrow. Have a great week everyone!

InfantSEE

Hey there! My return flight was delayed so I got home from New Jersey with just enough time to tell my kids, "Hi! I love you guys! I missed you SO much. Bye again," as I headed off to rehearsal. I will be ever so glad when this play is over. If I so much as consider being in it next year, slap me!

Anyway, I have so very much to tell about the trip and things that I learned while there. I will be primarily writing about the trip on my other blog here so as not to violate my contract with BlogHer.

I do want to talk about one thing that I learned while in New Jersey here, however. How many of you have gotten your baby's vision checked? I'm not talking about the pediatrician showing your baby some pictures on a poster down the hall in their office. I'm talking about taking your 6-12 month old child to an opthamologist or optometrist and having their eyes dilated.

I admit that I never took any of my kids to the eye doctor before they were a year old. I mean, how can they do an eye exam on a baby, right? It's not like your six month old can tell you what letters or pictures they're seeing. My pediatrician never recommended that I take my babies to an eye doctor. The thought never crossed my mind. And I wasn't alone in my thinking.

In 2005, after president Jimmy Carter spoke to a group of optometrists, members of the American Optometric Association and The Vision Care Institute of Johnson & Johnson joined forces to create InfantSEE. Jimmy Carter has two grandsons with vision problems that could have been treated if their eyes had been checked as infants. They had the insurance and money to take these boys for eye care. What they lacked was the awareness.

Dr. Scott Jens spoke to us about this program while I was in New Jersey and he told stories of how retinoblastoma (cancer of the eye) was detected, thus saving a baby’s life, all because of this program. Granted, most of us aren’t going to get a diagnosis like that, but there are many other vision problems, that with early intervention, could save your infant’s sight.

My own daughter, Lexington, never had her eyes examined as an infant. In fact, she passed the vision test that was administered at school. I took her to an eye doctor for peace of mind because now and then I’d see her eyes cross a little. It wasn’t terribly noticeable and it wasn’t all the time, but still, I thought I would rather be safe than sorry. The eye doctor dilated her eyes and told me that she was terribly farsighted and would require glasses for life. It wasn’t a devastating diagnosis. Millions of people wear glasses to correct their vision. Still, I felt horrible that I hadn’t caught it earlier. Looking back at old pictures of Lexi, I cringe when I see her eyes crossed in them. All along I thought she was just doing a “stupid human trick” by making a goofy face and crossing her eyes. How could I not have known?

The answer is – I couldn’t have known. That’s what the eye doctor is for. That’s why every infant should be seen be an eye care professional. That’s why InfantSee was started. The best part of this – IT’S TOTALLY FREE! Just go to the InfantSEE website, and click on the "doctor locator” button. When I searched, more than a dozen doctors came up within 5 miles from me! It doesn’t matter what your income level is. It doesn’t matter if you have insurance or not. Anyone can get a free eye exam for their infant under 12 months.

I asked Dr. Jens what he considered the best age to have a baby’s eyes checked and he said that he felt 9 months is ideal, but he stressed that anytime between 6 and 12 months is great!
So, please take advantage of this free program to ensure the health of your baby’s vision. And pass this on to everyone you know. I think it should especially be passed on to the pediatricians. Before this week, I’d never even heard of this program. I have 6 kids and not once did any pediatrician ever mention it to me. Your child’s pediatrician is a prime source of medical knowledge and advice. They need to be aware of this program so they can pass it on to their patients.

*******

Edited to add: Please pray for the Powell family as baby Ethan earned his angel wings today. :*(

Day One in New Jersey

Woo Hoo I'm in the Garden State! Now, I'm not scared to fly. Flying doesn't bother me one bit. However, during our descent today, I was pretty sure, with the way the plane was rocking back and forth, up and down, turning this way and that, that we were going to spiral into a fiery nosedive, and crash into the Atlantic.

Flying is a great way to observe other people. You meet all sorts of folks on a plane. On board, a guy sitting a few rows back from me, was coughing his lungs out. At one point, I think Tuberculosis Joe actually coughed out his spleen as I think I heard it splat on his unstowed tray table. The guy sitting behind me snapped like 850 pictures out the window during the flight. "Hey look - there are some clouds! Look - some more clouds! Ooo, I better get a picture of those clouds!" Won't he be surprised, when he gets his 50 rolls of film back, to see 850 pictures of his reflection in the window.

I sat next to two blokes from England. I know they were speaking English, but I seriously couldn't understand a thing they said! I understood the Vietnamese nail salon girl better than these guys who were speaking English! They tried talking to me at first, but soon realized that I was stupid as I repeated, "What?" three or four times every time they tried to ask me a question. I finally gave up and just nodded and smiled at them. They were probably asking me to move my fat butt over so they had more room and there I am just nodding and smiling. I think that's when they stopped talking me. Then I just eavesdropped, and even though I couldn't make out more than a word or two, I enjoyed listening to their accents. I named them Harry and Ron.

To read the rest of my adventures in the Garden State, go to my other blog right here.

I'm Done Blogging :(

It is with great sadness and regret that I tell you I'm done blogging. As much as I have loved writing on here (and I really have loved it!), I just don't have the time to blog anymore. I'm so tired. Tired of juggling everything. Tired of letting my house slide. Tired of not having the time to cook decent meals. Tired of not being around to help the kids with their homework in the evening, and make sure they practice their instruments and read. And now it's baseball season. I have four kids playing ball this year. Four kids at four practices across town at the same time! I just can't do it. I'm so sorry.

APRIL FOOL!

Had ya going there for a minute, didn't I?

OK, I've still got to pack for my trip to New Jersey, so I'll leave you with a few Google phrases from this week. These are the actual, untouched, copied and pasted Google keyword searches.

gross food in kids bedrooms
Obviously my blog came up with this search.

disposable diaper gel egg
That's an interesting place for the Easter bunny to hide an egg.

how do bats poop
Probably like any other animal on earth. You know, with their BUTT.

butt references
Uh yeah, again, NO idea how you got to my blog.

how to get green marker off carpet?
Put a throw pillow over it.

socks on her hands
What we make our kids wear when they've lost all their mittens over the winter and it's still snowing in APRIL!

3-d project ideas using aluminum foil
Someone has a little too much time on their hands

poo candles
Yummm, did your dog have an accident in the house or is that a poo candle I smell?

sewing pattern yo gabba gabba dress
Oh yeah, dress your kid in that, but don't be surprised when they get their butt kicked at school.

teach children to vomit in a bucket
An important lesson, to be sure!

tooth hurts when i lie down
Umm don't lie down?

terrible smell in ford expedition
Oh too bad. I only know what to do about terrible smells in Chevy Suburbans.

These next ones belong in the "COULD YOU USE ANY MORE WORDS IN YOUR SEARCH?!" archives.

saying things that i thought would never say to my child that my mom said to me

i have a bunion on my foot and cannot find a shoe to wear help

the name of the song that goes like this: everybodys searching for a hero people need

how much does roto rooter charge to unclog a bathtub drain

accidentally washed a diaper is it ok to dry the clothes in dryer?

steph: it's not you...it's the system.i'm in grade eight, so i'm important.you're in grade seven

-elmo mommy video or videos or movie or movies tickle or tickles or tickled or tickling or ticklish

if i change my domain name will it still show up as blog spot blog?

picture of a girl saying i have to go pee pee in mi pants

picture of someone saying I like to go pee pee in my pants

the room is completely dark, if there are 24 socks in the drawer, and there are only 3 colors of socks in the

That last one could also go into the "STUPID MATH QUESTIONS" category.

But They're the Best, Jerry! The BEST!

I went out shopping this evening because I decided I didn't have anything to wear on my trip to New Jersey (except for my new maternity shirt, of course.) I went by myself because if you need to try on clothes, you just don't want to bring kids with you. Anyway, I found a pair of pants that fit! That in itself is a miracle since I'm pear shaped and they just don't make pear shaped clothes. I'm also short, so unless I wear my tall shoes (and I do whenever I'm with Austin and Savannah because they're as tall as I am now!) my pants will drag on the ground. The pants I just bought have legs that roll up and button on the sides. For most people this would mean instant capris. For me it means that they fit like normal pants.

After my huge score in the pants department, I decided I was starved as I've just had 3 pieces of toast in the last 48 hours. It's not that I'm still so sick, but after throwing up (which is the worst thing on earth!) I'm just scared to death to eat. I figure the less I put in, the less that will come out should I suddenly feel the need to hurl again. So, anyway, I was really hungry while shopping so I stopped at the food court, walked up to Frulatti, and ordered a chicken salad sandwich with a side of fresh fruit. Instead of sitting there in the food court looking like a pathetic dork eating by myself, I decided to take my dinner to the nail salon and get a pedicure.

OK, I sit down, dip my feet in the water, sit back and relax in the comfy massage chair. If you've never gotten a pedicure, I highly recommend it. I usually go with my friend, Jen maybe 3-4 times a year. It's wonderfully relaxing and pampering. So, anyway, I'm sitting there soaking my tootsies as I open up the container with my sandwich. The Frulatti girl apparently didn't understand the whole concept of a "side" of fruit as she plopped my sandwich right on TOP of the fruit. Ewww! The only thing more disgusting than a soggy sandwich is throwing up. And my honey-wheat bread soaked in watermelon juice looked just like that! So because I didn't want to look like a dork eating by myself in the food court, there I sat getting my feet done while trying to hang onto a soggy chicken salad sandwich that was falling apart and plopping into the container. I am SO classy.

I gave up on the sandwich and leaned back, enjoying my back massage. I have GOT to get me one of those chairs. The woman giving me the pedicure looked over at her friend and said something in Vietnamese. I'm pretty sure she said, "Check out this woman's feet! Ewww! Have you ever seen drier heels? Disgusting. And her nails are awful!"
Then her friend answered, "Oh I know! Very gross! But did you see the way she was eating that sandwich. I got nauseous watching her."

I had visions of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine is convinced the nail technicians are talking about her.

I finished my enthralling evening with a trip to the grocery store because we were down to onions, chicken broth, and waffles at home, and I couldn't leave my family with nothing to eat while I'm gone. God only knows what Joe would cook for dinner with that list of ingredients!

Sunday Sound Out

No post last night. I was sick. I haven't been this sick since I got food poisoning 14 years ago. Oh.My.Gosh. Do you have any idea how awful it is to have your body explode from both ends at the same time? On the bright side, I lost 5 pounds last night. Ugh. Joe is my hero.

OK, here's an updated map...


View Larger Map
Thank you again to all of you for taking the time to send us information about your city!!! We really appreciate it! Remember, this map is TWO pages. If you don't see yourself on the first map, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on "page 2". It will bring up a second map and list of names.

Now, on to your questions. I got a zillion questions this week, so here are some of them. I'll get to the others next week. (and the next week, and the next week...)

Maybe you've already answered this- but why did you name all of your kids after U.S. cities?

Because it's hard to pronounce foreign cities.

I was reading in our local paper today that Chicago colors their river green to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. How do they do that?

Lemon-lime KoolAid

What kind of things did YOU do as a kid? When I read about the crazy things yours come up with, I have to wonder where they got it from.

I was perfect. They get it from their father.

Are you making any more appearances (like Fremd) that people in the area can come see you? (fingers crossed)

I don't have any planned right now.

Have you found cold breakfast cereal you can eat on the diet?

Yep! Joe's Os, Crispex, a lot of Envirokids ones, some Kashi ones... There are several others too.

So at what point did you start drinking and I don't mean coffee LOL![about the first day of spring break]

It's ok to put Bailey's in your coffee, right?

Why are people smelling their best friend's feet?

Because it would be just gross to smell your best friend's butt.

You do seem to have a lot of butt stuff going on for some reason?

Ummm yeah. Weird. What's that all about?

Did you know you have the #1 ebay auction on the best of ebay? pretty cool!

I didn't know that. Totally cool!

Do you think that your children might be encouraged to "misbehave" when you're taking a photographic record of their misadventures for your posting on the blog each time they create a disaster?

I hope so. Otherwise I'd run out of things to blog about.

You mentioned the other day that you boil enough eggs for each kiddo to dye a ton! What do you do with all those hardboiled eggs?

OK, I know this is going to sound crazy, but we EAT THEM.

Ok, someone has probably already asked, but how did Brooklyn get locked into the cabinet, if you have to have a special tool to get it open in the first place?

Yes, we have magnetic locks, but it's not like we actually use them.

I hope you had a joyous Easter! I know you're half Greek, but you're obviously not Greek Orthodox if you celebrated Easter yesterday. Were you Orthodox at one point, or did your religion come from the non-Greek parent?

The religion came from my mom who is not Greek.

What are the red Greek egg thingies????

This explains it. By the way, I was last person with an uncracked egg this year. :)

Would you consider starting links for those of us who would like to support your site ( and household) by buying quality handmade pet clothing and accessories?

Ummm no.

How did you handle the hey-mil-you-brought-food-my-kids-can't-eat situation?

Eh, whatever. It was no big deal. Even Joe has a hard time remembering what they can and can't have. I just made some that they could have.

Clay was like Jesus - left behind in the temple. Where was he, teaching the Senior Citizens a thing or two about God?

Um close. Actually he was running around Fellowship Hall chasing other kids.

Do your older kids know about the Easter bunny, and how did you break it to them?

Yes they know, and I didn't have to break it to them. There comes a time when you just realize that bunnies don't hop into your house to hide eggs. If they don't catch on, you've got to kind of wonder about them.

Wow when you get this many comments do you read them all?

No.

Why can't your kids have splenda or colored sprinkles?

Because my kids are on a diet with no artificial additives and preservatives.

How about a "BECAUSE I SAID SO" mommy blogger cruise?

Oooo, a mommy blogger cruise would be fun!!! I'm not going on a cruise, but I am going to New Jersey with other mommy bloggers! You can check out the details here.

Can you just give me step by step instructions on how you do that [moving your blog to your own domain]? My husband gave me my own domain name for Christmas but I haven't a clue how to move off Blogger!!!

Yes I can!

1. Pick up the phone.

2. Dial your web designer's number.

3. Say, "Can you move my blog for me?"

Ta Da!

What is the link to your other site where you review products?

Mamaslike is the site where Angie, Melissa and I review products and services from other WAHMs. I've been getting a lot of requests to check out products from various companies, so I just started another blog to talk about products and services from other companies. You can see it here.

What do you do when your not yet potty trained child takes off their messy diaper and paints on the walls with their poop?

Clean it.

Why do people post songs they can't get out of their head to their blog?
I listened to the song the first day. Could not get it out of my head. Then, the next day, I couldn't remember it. So, I came back and listened to it again. That worked, for one day.
I had to come back again for a third dose.
Now I really cannot get it out of my head.
I would really like to get rid of this song can you please post a different one?
Happy to oblige! Here ya go...

Exactly how much is a "trabillion?"

More than a quarillion. Hey, I never claimed to be mathy.

At what point did you realize that your post on e-bay had "taken off" generating so much attention?

I think it was when I got a wake-up call from Good Morning America.

How do you keep your older ones still interested in church?

I don't. They don't especially like going, but I make them go anyway because I'm just mean that way. I remember wanting to sleep in instead of going to church when I was a kid too. It's ok. It'll all sink in at some point and they'll change their minds. At least that's my theory.

I was wondering if coming up with a topic for a blog entry is becoming a "chore" or if you still are having "fun?"
It's still fun. Writing my book was even more fun! I can't wait to really get going on my second book, in fact.

Are you going to have a say on what goes on the cover of your book? Will there be funny pictures in it?

Well, the folks at Guideposts came up with the cover design. I can give them my opinion of it, but in all honesty, unless it's totally hideous, I don't really care too much what it looks like. I really like the cover they've come up with right now. I'll show it to you guys as soon as I get the okay.

If you were a tree what kind would you be?

A tree? Hmmm, definitely a palm tree. Then I'd be living in a tropical climate. (They're calling for snow later this week! Whatever happened to "in like a lion, out like a lamb"? Will winter never end???)

Random Stuff

I know I said that my blog was going to be moving to my own domain. Umm just kidding? Actually, Kelli, the tireless servant who will be creating my website, emailed me at 3:oo in the morning to let me know that the transfer was complete. Unfortunately, Blogger wasn't redirecting people to my domain, so Kelli transferred it back. I will have a website of my own soon (and it will be way cooler than I am!), but for now, it's the same ole blog. A reader of mine, Dana, needs some help with her research. If you fit her criteria and wouldn't mind participating by answering 15 questions, I'd be much obliged. 

OK, now I need to ask for some prayers/good thoughts/well wishes. First, Kelli, my web designer and friend is working around the clock (thus the 3:00AM email) and has had "everything that could go wrong" go wrong. She's lost several employees and is struggling to take care of everyone. If you know Kelli, you know how dedicated she is to her clients. And Kelli, if you read this, switch from tea to coffee. It has more caffeine! ;) Secondly, some of you may read Kendra's blog Barely Controlled Chaos. This woman was touched by Mimi's and Julian's story. She felt that Mimi, Michelle and I should meet in person and she made that a reality. She was able to get all three of us tickets to Oprah's show! Mimi, Michelle, and I have been busy making our plans to meet up in Chicago for the show. And then today I got an email from Kendra's daughter. It said that she was in the hospital and had just had emergency brain surgery to remove a tumor earlier this week. She was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer. :*( This was a huge shock to her. Anyway, please keep Kendra in your thoughts/prayers. 

Vacuuming

What? Isn't this how you vacuum? I know I always vacuum in my underwear and Elmer Fudd hat.

I'm Moving!

I'd really love to move to my dream house which is located someplace that doesn't get snow. I want to be able to walk out my back door and feel the sand squish between my toes. I want the sun to warm my face, and I want to feel a nice, cool, salt-laced breeze through my hair. I want to smell hibiscus in the air and I want to sleep at night with my windows open, the sound of the surf lulling me to sleep. 

Unfortunately, that's not the move I'm talking about.  My blog is moving to my domain.  My new address will be BecauseISaidSo.com  and you can bookmark the new site when the transfer is complete (in the next couple days).  Now don't stress out about it.  Everything else will stay the same.

 

So I spoke at a church in the Chicago suburbs this evening.  I got to meet a blog reader, Ellen, there too!  I have an actual fan!  Hee hee.  That was pretty cool.

 

I'm too tired to write tonight, so I'll leave you with a reprint of a post I did on 8/27/07

Clay came in from playing and announced, "Look at my friend! Can he come inside?" I looked around wondering which neighbor kid was over this time and upon seeing nobody, wondered if he'd taken up imaginary friends like Lexi. Before I could question him about his friend, he thrust this in my face.

"Ummm, let's just keep this "friend" outside, buddy."
I suppose it could have been worse. It could've been this friend again...

Or this friend....

Clay jumped up from the table where we were having lunch and ran outside to get his cup that he had left on the swingset. I continued to eat, while conversing with Lexi when she suddenly says, "Clay has a squirrel!"
"No, he doesn't. He just went outside to get his cup."
"Yes he does. He's carrying a squirrel."
"Don't be silly. Eat your sandwich."
"Mom, really, he's got a squirrel by the tail."
I get up and look outside and lo and behold, my 3 year old is indeed carrying a squirrel by his tail. As I open the door to scream, I mean, calmly, tell him to put the squirrel down, the neighbor's dogs run outside and begin barking so loudly it sounds like a kennel. The squirrel freaks out and tries to jump out of my son's hands which makes my son, in turn, freak out and nearly throw the squirrel. I witness, in slow motion, the squirrel kind of fly through the air and land safely on the fence. I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it.
"Yeah, sure honey, you can keep a rabid, baby rodent as a pet. Let's name him Skippy and keep him forever. Don't worry about the fact that he chewed through our garbage cans. It'll be fun."

Cruisin'

An article on my AOL welcome screen caught my eye the other day so I checked it out.  It was about cruises and I just loves me a good cruise.  That is my ideal vacation (without kids of course).  Lying around, drinking rum, reading, soaking up sun, taking excursions to explore new ports, going snorkeling, checking out local cuisine.  Heaven.  Anyway, the article caught my attention and I checked it out.  It stated that the latest, hottest thing was specialty cruises and it went on to list a few of them.  For example, there were:

 

Weight Loss Cruises:  I don't know about you, but when I go on a cruise, I'm there to make sure I get every penny's worth of delicious food prepared by someone other than me!  Somehow, getting a 5:00 wake-up call from a Richard Simmons wannabe and exercising just doesn't sound like a vacation to me.  And what does the midnight buffet look like?  Carrots and celery along with bottles of water?  Mmmm.    

 

Nude Cruises:  Yep, that's right.  You can cruise to Greece naked.  On the bright side, you wouldn't have to worry about what to wear to the captain's dinner.  And think how light your suitcase would be when the only thing in it is sunscreen!  Let's just hope that your fellow passengers have taken the weight loss cruise before taking this one. 

 

Magazine Sponsored Cruises:  You can take a cruise with a bunch of people who have the same interests as you.  The visuals I have of these different cruises are hilarious.  Imagine the passengers on the Mad Magazine Cruise running around the ship.  I can just see the passengers on the Scientific American Cruise lined up on the lounge chairs, their pasty white skin glowing in the dark.  Or the folks on the Field and Stream Cruise walking through the corridors with their rifles, searching for something to hunt.  I can just picture the Forbes crowd, the Parenting passengers, and the Modern Bride guests, all in wedding dresses, cruising around the Caribbean.

 

Music Cruises:  You can take a specialty cruise featuring performances by your favorite artists.  This wouldn't be a bad deal unless you didn't realize it was a specialty cruise.  Can you imagine poor old grandma and grandpa on a Heavy Metal Head Bangers Cruise?  And how long do you think it would take you to get those songs out of your head after listening to them every minute for a week?

 

Investment Cruises:  You can go to seminars on saving and investing money while on board a luxury cruise ship.  Experts give you tips for creating wealth.  The first seminar goes something like this, "The first way to start saving money to invest is to stop spending it on luxuries like cruises."

 

I think I'll stick to the ordinary, lie on your butt, drink and eat too much, get sunburned, read a good book, do a little shopping cruise.

 

Here are a couple links I've gotten from people in the past week or so.  I wanted to pass them on here...

Here's a link for my friend, Mimi's Relay for Life site...

Here's a link to a little girl named Lindsey, who is battling cancer. Her brother is shaving his head to raise money.

And Mimi has talked about her friend Peggy, who has cute twin boys.  One of the twins, Coleman, is battling cancer.  I've resisted checking out his carepage because it just breaks my heart reading stuff like this after "watching" Julian go through treatment and then die.  I just didn't want to get involved in any other people's carepages.  Well, I checked it out one day last week anyway and now I'm drawn in and can't stop reading and thinking about this little boy.  Here's a link to care pages.  Type in ColemanScott with no spaces to get his page.  

I want to thank any students from Fremd who read my blog.  I spoke at Fremd High School last month, and yesterday I got HUGE packet in the mail with more than 130 letters from students thanking me for participating in Writer's Week at Fremd.  I had just turned in my completed manuscript and was thinking that I wanted to burn my book and start all over.  I'm sick of seeing it; I think the whole thing sucks; I can't wait to get on to writing my next book.  And then I got that mail.  What awesome timing!

And lastly, I'm speaking at a church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago tomorrow night at 7:00 pm.  If you're in the area and are interested, come on by.

Our Saviour's United Methodist Church

701 E. Schaumburg Rd.

Schaumburg, IL  60194

Easter Fun

We had a nice Easter yesterday. Actually, let me back up a minute. I volunteered to bring a cheesecake and a coconut cake to my parents' house yesterday for Easter, so I spent a lot of time baking on Saturday. My mil came over Saturday morning to drop off some cinnamon rolls. It's a tradition. She brings us rolls every Easter and Christmas. Anyway, I rolled my lazy butt out of bed at 11:00 (thank you for letting me sleep in, Joe!), walked out of my room and saw my mil. Now, in all fairness, I'd been up until after 3:00 am, so the whole 'sleeping until 11:00' really wasn't all that bad. 

Hello there, dear mil.  Good morning.  Yes, I know it's 11:00.  What can I say, your son married a total derelict.

Anyway, my kids couldn't eat the rolls that she brought because they had Splenda and colored sprinkles on them.  Clay was so upset that he couldn't have any and it broke my heart, so stupidhead that I am, I told him I'd make some cinnamon rolls that he could eat.  So, I'm just getting up at 11:00, I have to run to the store and get about a thousand eggs, come home, boil them, and make assorted baked goods.  Good plan, Dawn.

After running errands and getting all the groceries I needed (well, all the groceries I needed minus all the ones I forgot and had to send Joe for...) I came home and boiled the eggs.  I only boiled 48 this year; enough for each kid to dye 8.  (impressive math skills, no?)  I mixed up the cheesecake and popped it in the oven.  Now, if you've never made a cheesecake, it's important to let it cool gradually to help prevent big cracks in the surface of the cake.  When the cheesecake was almost done baking, I asked Austin to turn the oven off for me.  I generally let the cake sit in the oven that's beginning to cool down for about 10 minutes.  Then I open the oven a crack and let it sit there for another 10 minutes before removing it so there isn't a drastic change in temperature.  Anyway, I asked Austin to turn the oven off for me and he obliged.  A few minutes later, I got up to crack the door open and realized that Austin hadn't turned the oven off, but instead had turned the dial the wrong way, so I quickly turned the dial to "off".  About 10 minutes later, Joe walked by the oven, peeked in, and told me that my cake was burnt.

"Whaaat?"  It can't be burnt!  I turned the oven off 10 minutes ago!"

I jumped up to look and sure enough, it was getting burnt.  Austin had turned the oven off just fine and apparently, culinary artist and brilliant scholar that I am, I had turned it on to broil.  So much for that.  I quickly washed the pan and mixed up a second cheesecake.  As that was baking, I made some cinnamon roll dough and set it aside to rise.  A couple hours later, I was mixing up my coconut cake.  Now, I've never made a coconut cake before.  In fact, I'd just pulled the recipe off my computer and had never made a cake quite like this before.  Naturally, I felt the need to try it out, not for just my family, but for everyone on Easter Sunday.  What better time to experiment with a new recipe?

This recipe was so complicated, it was ridiculous.  I mean, I had to grate fresh coconuts for this recipe!  Actually, I gave Savannah the job of grating the coconut.  Unfortunately, she also grated 4 fingers and 2 nails into the mix.  It doesn't matter though because no one ended up eating that cake.  It turned out flat, dense, dry, and well, about as appetizing as a rock.  It tasted like air and had the consistency of 4 month old corn bread.  I tossed the cakes and decided I'd have to make new ones after church on Sunday because I still had cinnamon rolls to make, eggs to dye with the kids, eggs to hide and I wanted to get to bed at least 15 minutes before the kids got up to see if the Easter bunny had come.

At least my caramel pecan cinnamon rolls turned out good...

This is about the time that Brooklyn threw up all over herself and the couch.  Yeah, I know you only wish you lived such an exciting life.  Try not to be too jealous.  I cleaned up that mess.  Just kidding.  I just threw that in there to make sure you were paying attention.  Joe, my hero, cleaned up the mess, of course.  Actually, for the first time ever, Joe helped the Easter bunny hide eggs too.  I think he had more fun doing it than I ever have.

Easter morning, the kids found their eggs and to answer your questions, no, I most definitely don't hide real eggs.  I hide 15 plastic eggs for each kid: blue ones for Austin, purple for Savannah, green for Jax, etc.  They each have their own color to look for so everyone gets to find the same number of eggs with the same goodies inside.  Joe stayed home with Brooklyn, who was running a little fever, and I took the other kids to church.  If anyone tells you that I forgot about Clay until I got out to the parking lot and had to go back for him, they're lying. 

After church, I made a new coconut cake, using a different recipe and then we all (including a fever-free Brooklyn) went out to my parents' house for dinner where I ate entirely too much.  Although, other than yesterday, I've been doing really well sticking to weight watchers and doing an exercise tape every night.  In fact, thanks to this exercise tape, I have pain in muscles I never knew I had.  My eyelashes hurt these days.  Ugh.  Whose idea was this 3 week challenge anyway?!