Back In My Day . . .

Codi (Austin's girlfriend of 5 years who is expecting in October) texted me today, asking if I'd like to go with her to a baby store. Heck yeah! So I picked her up and we hit Babies R Us. I haven't been in a Babies R Us in years, but believe me, I put in many, many hours shopping there back in the day.

You know how I've been saying that I'm thrilled to have a grandbaby to cuddle, but I'm not quite on board with the concept of being a grandmother? I mean, when I hear the word grandma, I think of a woman with her white hair in a bun, a shawl draped around her frail shoulders, sitting in a rocking chair. And then I think - Oh great, now I'll have to wear an apron when I bake and learn how to knit, and start all my stories with "Back in my day . . ." And I'll have to start adopting cats and then accidentally put the cat food into my lime Jello molds . . . (Sometimes my thinking gets away from me.)


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It's actually already started. As we walked around the store and Codi scanned items to add to her registry, I found myself saying, "Back in my day, they didn't have Babies R Us when I was pregnant with Austin. I had to register at Toys R Us. And they didn't have handy little scanners either. Noooo, I had to write down the SKU # for every product. On real paper. With a pen. And relatives couldn't look up my registry online. Because there was no online!" As I was talking, my brain was screaming at me to shut up.

So we walked around and gushed over the assortment of adorable pink, ruffly baby girl clothes. Codi marveled at the sheer size of the store, and I scoffed at those darn newfangled baby products because back in my day we didn't need diaper wipe warmers and my kids' butts fared just fine. I tried to bite my tongue and not say too much because things change, people move with the times, and, not knowing what Codi likes or wants on her registry, I didn't want to insult or alienate her. When she asked for my opinion, I gave it to her, and other times I tried not to roll my eyes too much.

Now, don't get me wrong, some modifications in baby products are improvements. Car seats, for example, have come a long way in a relatively short time, and are much safer now than they were a generation ago. Some items out there are beneficial and I kind of wish I'd had them back when my kids were babies. But others . . . Well, others are just ridiculous wastes of money, in my opinion.

I took a couple pictures of products I can't believe are out there. If Codi's back hadn't started hurting, I'm sure I could've found a dozen more before leaving. Now don't go get insulted if you have these things. You do what you gotta do to take care of your baby. But I'm an old (almost) grandma so I can say what I want and you can't talk back to your elders. I'm pretty sure those are the rules.

Here we have a whirlpool, bubbling spa, and shower tub. For about $60, your baby can bathe in ultimate luxury. I ask you, what 2 month old doesn't need her own whirlpool bath? 

It's the Ritzy Wrap! Okay, I admit when I first looked at this, I thought it went around mom's arm so she wouldn't get sore carrying an infant car seat. Crazy, right? But as I started writing this, I realized that it actually goes around the handle of the baby car seat and it can be easily removed to double as a changing mat. The fact that it's multi-functional makes me think it's a little less ridiculous than when I first saw it. Still, I wore those arm bruises and indentations as a badge of honor. Honor, I tell ya! Kids these days have it so easy.

Here's a battery operated formula mixer for those who find simply shaking a bottle for a couple seconds too much work. Perfect for people who like to buy lots of batteries!

Here we have an invaluable tool for potty training. A potty seat that looks like a full size toilet, takes up a bunch of room, and will only be useful for a few months!

image: Walmart.com

Oh good grief! A training urinal? What the??? Clearly, a parent of a boy did not invent this little gem because why would you invite the opportunity for your toddler to pee even more places in your house?

It's the Keurig for babies. Mixes formula with the right temperature water for baby's bottle. Because doing it the old fashioned way is just, well, old fashioned. But be careful, in your sleep deprived haze that you don't accidentally give baby a bottle of coffee while you sit down to a nice cup of Similac.


There are others out there too. The potty seat that comes with a holder for your iPad, the baby knee pads for crawlers, the bottle holder. What head-shaking things have you seen on the market?