For Sale! One Slightly Used 14-Year-Old!

Let me start by saying that I actually do love my kids. All of them. Most of the time. Okay, all of the time. But some days . . . Well, some days, I don't really like them. Some days I want to place an ad that reads like this: 

For Sale! One Slightly Used 14-Year-Old!

Tired of having leftovers that go uneaten? You won't anymore with this amazing 14-year-old who can pack away food like a goat. Or an elephant. Or a garbage disposal.

He's Housebroken!

He's housebroken and he doesn't waste time in the bathroom by doing any frivolous things like changing the empty toilet paper roll.

Serious inquiries only please.

Interested parties, should inquire within.

No warranties, refunds, or exchanges.


Due to the many requests I’ve had regarding a trade: No thank you; I’m really not interested in trading my slightly used, attitude-riddled teen for one of your slightly used, attitude-riddled teens since that sort of defeats my purpose, but thank you anyway.


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