It Takes a Special Brand of Crazy

Would you like to know the special brand of crazy to which I was married? Sure you would. Throughout the divorce and all the horrible things he did to my kids, I strived to keep my blog a neutral place. I haven’t bad-mouthed my ex (well, at least not publicly), but this latest proof of his idiocy just has to be shared. No more Mr. Nice Girl.

My awesome friend, Eric has been watching my house back in Chicagoland. The house still hasn’t sold, so Eric comes around and checks on it for me. Because the kids and I are planning on staying at my old house when we go home to visit, Eric has been stopping by, making sure everything is in order (water, electricity, and gas are turned on, etc.) Recently, he noticed that it looked like someone had been going inside. A couple of the windows were cracked open a bit, so Eric made sure they were locked. He bolted the front door and changed the combination lock on the back door. A couple days later, Eric stopped by and discovered that someone had been inside the house yet again. And this time, the person had taken apart the kitchen sink and written a note which he left on the counter.

Eric took a picture of the note and sent it to me with the words, “Does this look familiar?” There’s no question that it’s my ex’s writing.

My realtor said the “For Sale” sign keeps disappearing too. He’s replaced it numerous times. Eric found it in the back yard the other day.

Now, you have to understand that the house is mine. I got the house in the judgement for divorce. My ex signed a Quit Claim Deed. It is mine and he has no right, nor reason to be there. He’s trespassing, and apparently breaking and entering on my private property.

I spoke to him yesterday and asked him why he’d been lurking in and around my house. He refused to answer me, and instead started ranting like the person I know him to be.

But, it gets better. Today, I got a letter from my mortgage company in regards to my Illinois house. It states that they received my request for a loan modification and although they got my paperwork, they’re still missing several documents.

Whaaaaat? I never requested a loan modification! I moved out of that house almost a year ago! It’s been on the market for over a year. I’m going through the short sale process! I called the mortgage company who informed me that it was my ex who requested a modification earlier this month. A loan modification on the house for which he holds no interest. According to my mortgage company, he also told them that I was living there with the kids. I faxed over all the documentation proving the house is mine and that he has no claim to it.

What kind of crazy would break into a house and tear apart a sink? What kind of crazy would think he could get a loan modification on a house he doesn’t own and hasn’t paid a penny on for years? What kind of crazy would think this would work despite his lack of any documentation at all?

But, it gets even better! Apparently, he sent the mortgage company pay stubs. Pay stubs from a JOB. Hello child support! Of course, by the time I pay a lawyer and take him to court, he’ll most likely have quit his job and be surprisingly out of work again.

So, to my Illinois friends, if you ever see Joe lurking around my house, go ahead and call the police. He’ll be on his bike because they kinda frown upon it and take away your license when you get 3 DUIs.


THIS is why I’m being super-picky and selective when it comes to this whole dating thing. I’m fighting my attraction to the guys with the addictions and mental health problems that I can “fix if only I love them enough”. I want someone who isn’t crazy.