This is How Monkeys Text

The kids and I watched the movie Rio a couple nights ago.  At one point in the movie, a monkey received a text from another monkey.  It read Ooo ooo aah aah :(|) For some reason, this struck me as hilarious.  (What can I say, I don’t get out much.  My kids have warped my mind.  I was tired.)  I, being the completely mature, responsible adult that I am, immediately texted Austin Ooo ooo aah aah :(|)

On the couch next to me, Austin heard his phone buzz, looked at it, then turned to me.  “Really Mom?  Really?” was his not-so-amused response.  Seeing his deadpan face made me laugh even more.  I nearly fell off the couch laughing like some sort of maniac.  (Yes, I’m aware that normal parents don’t snort and pee their pants after sending a monkey text to their kid. I’m just special that way.)

Then I believe Austin said something along these lines.  ”Turn off your phone, Mom.  Just turn it off.”

So, naturally, every time Savannah and I ran out to the store this weekend, I felt the need to text Austin repeatedly, updating him on our every move while we were out. Wasn’t that thoughtful of me?  I thought so too!  See my running commentary for yourself . . .

Hey Austin, we’re on our way to the hardware store! Look! There’s a truck next to us. It has big tires.

Hey Austin! We’re at Lowes now.

This is a giant battery. I don’t think it works though. Want me to try it?

We just saw some chick smoking a pink cigarette. There’s a guy in a hat in this car. He looked at us like we were weird when we snapped his picture.

Savannah’s driving today. We’re listening to Michael Jackson hee hee hee. (You have to sing the “hee hee hee” part while grabbing your crotch to get the full effect.)

Guess what! Jackson’s a pirate!

Mmmmm, chocolate!

This guy looks like Uncle Sam’s dad, doesn’t he? He also has a little captain in him.

There are 3 busloads of Japanese students at Target. Teach me how to say, “Hello there, fine, young Japanese students. Welcome to the lovely state of Florida. The cheese is on sale in aisle 2.”

Look at Savannah’s parking job. Could she have gotten any closer to the line?

Savannah told me to get this to wear to school. What do you think? I think she looks like a dancing queen. See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen! Come on Austin, let's do the hustle!

I’m getting us these bracelets, okay? Then we can be BFFs. That means Best Friends Forever! See you soon, BEST FRIEND! :)

Then Austin finally texted me back. "I would tell you to turn off your phone because your texts are annoying, but when I open them to read them, I see your caller ID pic which makes me LOL. Remember when we were sitting in your room, hanging out and talking the other night? I took a picture while you were yawning. It looks like you’re rage-texting though. Ha!"

That was my last text to him. At least until I can confiscate his phone and replace that picture! ;)