The One with all the Butts

So, I broke down and got a new furnace yesterday. The guy who installed it is a family friend who works for a heating and cooling company. He and his wife are good people so I know he gave me the best deal he could. And I'd rather give him the money than some big company.

He was in the middle of removing my old furnace when Clay piped up and said very loudly (Clay only has one volume so of course, it was loud), "I hope I don't see his buttcrack! When we picked Brooklyn up from preschool today, there was a guy working on the wall and he was lying on the floor and we could totally see his buttcrack! It was hairy too! It was DIS-GUST-ING!"

Clay was right. If the guy at the preschool had had his pants down any farther, they would've been OFF. It wasn't pretty. I'm sure there are a couple dozen preschoolers scarred for life now.

My eyes quickly darted over to my friend to see if he'd heard. The sight of him chuckling to himself assured me he'd heard every word. Much to my relief, however, his shirt was neatly tucked in, not so much as an inch of crack showing.

His buddy, who showed up to help him a few minutes later, on the other hand, had not learned the importance of the shirt-tucking technique. I really think the buttcrack issue should be covered in any heating and cooling school. And any plumbing school. And electrician school. And auto mechanics school. Really, any member of the blue collar community should learn how to tuck their shirts in, pull their pants up, or at least work those glutes and wax those butt cheeks so we don't mind seeing their butts hang out so much. What? I'm single! I can look at butts. Not that I did or anything. But I could. You know, if the opportunity arose. Just sayin'. Not that I really even care about butts. I'll take a nice, strong, muscley pair of arms over a butt any day. I mean, I guess a guy should have a butt in addition to the arms otherwise, he'd just look weird. And his pants probably wouldn't fit right if he had no butt. I have no idea why I'm talking about butts. I'm blaming it on the 15 years of diaper changing. Okay, moving along...

Hmmm, you'd think I'd have a point here, wouldn't you? It's late and I just spent the last ten minutes talking about butts. Oh yeah! My point is just that it's really nice to have heat again. It's been in the low 20s here in Chicago. It even snowed yesterday. Isn't it funny how you never even notice things like heat until they're gone? Then you learn to fully appreciate them. (Although I'm still ready to move someplace that doesn't require a working furnace.)

Now, I have to get some sleep so I don't sound like an idiot (or more of an idiot) while I'm speaking at the luncheon for Wings tomorrow. It's not too late to go! You local folks can join me for lunch tomorrow (Friday). It'll be fun. I promise not to talk about butts. I can't promise that my date, Brooklyn won't talk about butts though.

Here's a link with details about the luncheon and trunk show. Check it out. And you can buy gently used, fashionable, chic baby clothes and gear while you're there. If you have no need for baby items anymore, you can bring your gently used or new baby items to benefit Wings. It's for a great cause! Hope to see you there!