Ten Random Things

I was tagged basically because I don't run. Or dance. But the dancing really has nothing to do with this. I don't run, therefor I make an easy target to tag. I don't even remember who tagged me because I kinda ignored the whole thing, thinking it would go away (kinda like all physical ailments - ignore it long enough and it goes away.) But now I can't think of anything to write so I'm going with this whole being tagged thing.

So, I'm supposed to tell you guys ten random facts about myself. Let's see here. It's hard to think of anything new. Those of you who have been reading for a while, already know everything.

1. I have 3 tattoos. I got them when I was 18 and knew everything. One of them was actually a guy's name. Yeah, I know! You don't have to say it! However, after a couple strategically placed stretch marks, it's no longer legible. It's just a blog of ink. If I ever have money some day, I'll have it removed.

2. I used to sneak out of my parents' house with my sister. We'd sit on the roof to smoke. Shhh, don't tell my parents. I was such a rebel back then.

3. I once got to take a ride in an ambulance when I had a kidney stone attack in Disney World. I sat at Celebration Hospital all day. It wasn't a celebration. I get kidney stones. They hurt. A lot. The last one was huge. I needed lithotripsy. I have no idea what that is. All I remember is putting on a bathing suit, getting a shot, then waking up dripping wet and naked. Yes, it was performed at an actual hospital.

4. Lexington was born before the doctor came around. A nurse came in and saw her crowning before the bed was broken down or anything was set up. She didn't have time to put on sterile gloves so she grabbed a piece of paper and caught her. I don't think I should've received a doctor bill for that one.

5. In high school, I went on four mission trips with my church. The last one was to Canada. I was sick before we left. My mom took me to the doctor who said, "Oh, it's just a virus. She'll feel better in another day or two. Let her go." I slept the whole trip. Came back home and learned I had mono.

"I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored." Quick, name the movie!

6. I once made my friend call me in dead to work. I made them pick up my last paycheck too. I hope my old boss isn't reading this. He'll know I'm still alive.

7. I did so well in English my freshman year, the powers that be decided someone of my brilliance needed to be moved up into the honors class. I was with all the geeks. We had a textbook entitled Classical Rhetoric. I had no clue what "rhetoric" meant. All I knew is that kids eagerly raised their hands in this class and they looked at me like I was an idiot when I sank down into my back-row chair. I whined and complained that the class was too hard until they moved me back to a regular ole English class where I didn't have to lift a finger to get As. And thus began my career of manipulating people until I got what I wanted.

8. Whenever I drive past this little lake near my house, I freak out that I'm going to crash into it and I won't be able to unbuckle all my kids and get them out in time. It seriously gives me nightmares. I thought about getting a keychain with a little knife on it so I can effectively cut through seatbelts while underwater, and a little hammer so I can knock out the windows and escape a watery death with my six kids. You know, after I've cut them all out of their seatbelts. Maybe instead of having that tattoo removed, I should use the money for therapy.

9. I'm a Pisces which means I'm moody and emotional. I cry easily. Having total freedom freaks me out. I'm intuitive, I spend vast quantities of time in a fantasy world created by my imagination, I literally feel what others are feeling, and I'm creative. But all you really need to know is that my birthday is March 10. That gives you plenty of time to pick out my present. I like jewelry.

10. I'm a horrible procrastinator. My theory is - why do today what you can put of until tomorrow? It's not a good theory. I hate that about myself. But I just can't seem to help it. In fact, there was this one time... eh, I'll write out the story later.