What to Wear???

Poor Lexi was up all night vomiting, which means, of course, that I was up all night as well. Every time I dared to drift off to sleep, Lex would throw up again. Or Brooklyn would wake up crying that her eyes hurt, or she'd wake up coughing. Or Lex would come in my room and say something like, "Mom. Mom! Mom, are you awake?"

"I am now."

"I don't feel well," Lex moaned.

"I kinda figured that out when you threw up for the 8th time and your spleen came out. Can we go back to sleep now?"

Brooklyn seems to be feeling a little better today, but Lexi pretty much slept all day. On the bright side, this is a terrific diet for me. I can't bring myself to eat for fear that I'll get her puke germs. I want my stomach to be as empty as possible should that happen.

And Kimmy is still in the hospital. Savannah's making cookies for her right now.

Here's the post I started writing last night before Barf-O-Rama 2010 started.

So, a couple weeks ago, Austin nonchalantly informed me that a girl had asked him to Turnabout and he had said yes. I was so thrilled because

A. apparently Austin isn't so weird at school that girls completely avoid him (I guess he saves his weirdness for his brothers and sisters here at home)

B. he totally stepped out of his comfort zone to say yes and I'm really proud

C. I could blog about what an idiot I am because I have no idea what I need to do as the parent of a kid going to a dance

I'm totally new to this! I have no idea what you're supposed to do! I guess I'll be an expert by the time Brooklyn gets to high school, but Austin's my first and this is all new to me right now. So, I asked Austin, "When is the dance?"

"I dunno. In February."

What time is it? Is she arranging things because it's Turnabout, or do you need to plan things? Are any of your friends going? Are you meeting at her house? Are you guys going out to dinner before the dance? Afterward? What do you wear to these things? What color is her dress? Are you supposed to get her flowers? A wrist corsage is a normal thing to get, right? Do you need to pay for tickets in advance? Or does she pay for the tickets because it's Turnabout?"

Somewhere during the middle of my interrogation, Austin hit himself upside the head in absolute regret for ever telling me anything. I'm pretty sure he made a mental note to never go to another dance in the future. I'm positive I heard him giving Savannah the advice, "Next year, if you go to a high school dance, just tell Mom you're going to the movies with friends."

So, finally, he told me the theme is black and white and the girl's dress is black and pink. Ok, I can order flowers for that. But what on earth is he supposed to wear? I only have one friend who has a child who has gone to Turnabout. He told Austin to wear pants, a sport coat, and tie. So, I took Austin and Jackson to the mall this evening to outfit Austin for the dance. I've decided that I do not like shopping for menswear. At all. How on earth are you supposed to figure out what color pants go with what color shirt and tie and coat??? Is he supposed to wear black and white because that's the theme? Is he supposed to try to match his date's dress? Ugh, it is so much easier to just pick out a cute dress for a girl. I mean, it can be tricky to find one that isn't too expensive or too slutty, but even taking that into consideration, it's much easier to outfit a girl.

Anyway, Austin tried on the giant stack of clothes I piled into his arms while Jackson and I played hangman on my phone. Well, I played hangman, while Jackson played Make-Up-Nonsense-Words-That-Mom-Will-Never-Guess. He was happy that he stumped me with "yumtaco". "YUMTACO"!

Really, Jackson? What on earth does yumtaco mean???"

"It means that I like tacos and I'm hungry. How much longer do we have to stay here? Austin's been trying on clothes for four hours!" It was not four hours, by-the-way.

Anyway, we came up with clothes that met with Austin's approval. I double-checked with the helpful salesman who assured me that Austin looked good and I wasn't completely blind or stupid for choosing that combination of colors.

Now, what are the chances I can learn to tie a tie by this weekend?