How Many More Days Until School's Out?

I can't wait for school to be out! Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. Sometime in July, when I'm bribing school officials to institute year-round school, I'll deny ever saying this. But for now, I can't wait for school to be out. This is the only time of the year that I'm on the same page as my teacher friends. We're all counting down. We have one day over 60 degrees and the kids think it's summer. As I'm folding laundry, I see the little ones streak by me in their bathing suits. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?" 

"Outside. Mom, can we go swimming?" 

"Where? In the mud puddle by the swingset?" 

"Will you set up the pool?" 

"Sure, let's have a pool party." My kids learn all about sarcasm at an early age. 

"Awww why not? It's really hot out here." 

"Because I said so." 

"But whyyyy?" 

"Because I'm mean." 

 Clayton decided that since it's summer, it's high time he learned how to ride a big 2 wheeler. So he climbed up onto Joe's tool bench, found the appropriately sized wrench and proceeded to remove his training wheels. He did just turn four afterall. He then (and this is the really impressive part!) returned the wrench to my husband's tool box, and placed his training wheels upon the work bench. They know to return my husband's tools to their proper place, however, they paint maps of Florida with my spatula, dig in the sand box with my ladle and give their hermit crabs baths in my Tupperware and then lose my kitchen gadgets. I've got to ask Joe his secret. 

 Anyway, he hops on his bike and takes off. Ta Da. Nothing more to it. The kid is nuts. Jackson was the same way. But when Austin was 4 or 5, he tried to ride a 2 wheeler and fell off. He got back on and fell again. He then threw the bike down, said it was stupid and stomped off. He didn't try again for a year. Savannah, when learning to ride without training wheels, tried and fell and tried and fell and tried and fell about a thousand times. She was one giant walking bruise, but she learned to ride that thing!

Anyway, the older kids think it's summer too. Baseball games often last until 8:30. By the time they get home, grab a snack, shower, and finish their homework, it's 10:00. They're tired and don't want to get up for school in the morning. Of course, because it's so summery outside at a balmy 50 degrees these days, Savannah thinks she doesn't need a jacket at her softball games. "Don't you want your UnderArmor? Are you sure you want to wear your softball shorts? Why don't you at least put on a t-shirt under your sleeveless jersey?" 

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. She rolled her eyes! She said, "It's hot outside," but what she meant was, "Are you daft, old woman? How did you ever make it this far in life? Clearly, you're stupid."

Of course, I fully exercised my right to say, "I told you so!" when, shivering, she broke down and asked me to get her sweatshirt. And the middle kids also think it's summer. They're done with school. Homework takes them 2.3 minutes to do these days. They've forgotten how to read. I can actually see their brain cells going into summer hibernation. Me? I'm just tired of getting them up and off to school and I'm tired of battling with them to get homework done, especially on baseball days. I'd rather sit outside around a campfire and talk until late at night then sleep in and not worry about homework for a couple weeks. I love summer!

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Did I tell you guys I finally got new couches? They've been in pretty sad shape since this incident, but I didn't want to spend any money on new ones because I know the kids are just going to trash them. We had people over the other day. Our couch swallowed one of our guests. We tried pulling them out, but the only things we were able to retrieve were Kix, granola bar wrappers, change, a pencil, a piece of chewed gum, part of a blackened banana peel, a petrified cheese stick, three socks, a cow, a harmonica, and an empty toilet paper roll. At this point, we decided it was probably time to bury our old couch and get a new one. Thank you to Suburban Correspondant at The More, the Messier for her suggestion of Ektorp furniture by Ikea. This furniture has slip covers that are washable! Do you know what this means? It means, if when the kids throw up chicken, mashed potatoes and undigested corn all over the couch, I can wash it Joe can wash it! When Brooklyn drools chocolate on the cushions, I can just pop them into the washer. When Clayton sticks his hands in my container of powdered sugar like a gymnast getting ready for his routine on the bar and then somersalts across the love seat, no problem, I can stick the covers in the wash. Not that this has happened or will happen or anything. I'm just saying hypothetically. Just in case. Oh, who am I kidding? I just got them on Sunday and they're already covered in chocolate and powdered sugar and chock full of crumbs. My "No eating in the family room under penalty of death" rule is certainly working. 

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 One more thing - Jenny at Three Kid Circus is having a contest where you can win a new Wii console, Fitness game, and balance board! Just blog about (or leave her a comment with) your most embarrassing fitness purchase story. Do you have a treadmill that's now a clothes hanger? Did you require an ER visit after using the Thigh Master? Did you realize that Buns of Steel was not intended for use for people who have buns of pudding? Write about it and you could win! She's accepting entries until midnight, Friday, May 16th.