Do You Need Fire to Build a Toilet?

While running around the garage, my three year old asked, "Mom, do you need fire to build a toilet?" I was too scared to ask him what he meant by that.

When I tucked this same son into bed this evening, I felt something odd under his pillow. I found this.

Yep, that's a door knob. And why wouldn't any normal 3 year old have a door knob under his pillow. Perhaps he thinks the door knob fairy will come and fix the gaping hole in the bathroom door that was left when his sister removed the door knob. See this post.

I can't complain about my husband not fixing the door because he spent this weekend fixing my van. In fact, he was so proud of that fact, that when he finished, he stood up, took a bow and reveled in the imaginary chanting he heard - Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Then he promptly turned to me and asked, "Are you going to write in your blog and tell everyone that I fixed your car?"
:) Gotta love him. I had to love him when he woke me up this morning to say, "You made the front page of the newspaper!"

I made some sort of grunt in response (again, I'm not a morning person.)

"OK, sorry. Go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you up."

He didn't mean to wake me up? Yes, I can see where he was trying to let me sleep by nudging my shoulder and thrusting a newspaper in my face while exclaiming that I was on the front page. Hee hee He's so proud.

I didn't get a chance to go back to sleep because Good Morning America called. At first I thought I was probably mistaken and it wasn't THE Good Morning America, but some guy who does a cable show from his basement called Good Morning Americans. Why would THE Good Morning America want to interview me, right? But it was indeed THE actual Good Morning America show. That call was followed by CNN, FOX, CBS, WGN, WMAQ, ABCDEFG, and XYZ.

Because of all this attention, my oldest son, smart aleck that he is, told me he couldn't complete his writing assignment for school because it would never live up to his 'famous author mom's' expectations.
"Nice try, bud. Get cracking."

Seriously though, he had to pick a picture of someone and write a descriptive paragraph about the person in the picture. He chose his baby sister. I gave him the following advice - try to write a description that paints a picture. The person reading the description should be able to picture your baby sister in their head without seeing a photograph.
Sooo, my son described her eyes as looking like pools of mud and her hair like grass that is dying in the hot sun. Great. That's exactly what I had in mind.

I know I haven't written a good story for a couple weeks now, but my life has really been turned upside down and I'm amazed I'm able to form a coherent thought at all these days. Well, there's that and the fact that I want to hold back "the good stuff" for this book I want to finish. Sooo, on that note, I'm off to bed (well, after I make lunches, fold some more laundry, take a shower, write out a check for a field trip, sign some homework, and unload the dishwasher.) I have another interview in the morning. This time it's with Spike O'Dell on WGN news for any Chicagoans out there.

P.S. A few of you asked about the baseball auction. It's in my archives here. Wow reading that again, my kids sound absolutely awful. I swear they really are pretty good kids. They are disciplined when they choose not to obey or when they make poor choices, but oftentimes I think they get into stuff not because they're being "bad", but because they're kids and kids learn through experimenting, and getting into stuff. They want to answer those questions - 'what will happen if I do this? I wonder if Mom's cell phone will float? Can this be flushed down the toilet? What does glue taste like?' Plus, I do take a bit of poetic license when writing. ;)