Fast forward to 10:00. I took my 3 year old to the doctor for his pre-op physical (he's having his tonsils & adenoids taken out and a second set of tubes put in his ears in a couple weeks.) Let me tell ya, I could write an entire book on doctor's visits alone! I hate sitting there in the waiting room to see the doctor. It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry tries to rent a car. The rental place has his reservation, but doesn't have a car for him. He says, "You know how to TAKE a reservation, but you don't know how to HOLD the reservation and really, the HOLDING of the reservation is the most important part of the reservation." Well, they know how to MAKE appointments, but they don't know how to KEEP appointments. I think from now on, when they tell me my appointment is at 10:00, I'll just show up at 11:30 and save myself the aggravation.
Anyway, I'll just give you the highlights, because I seriously could fill an entire chapter with the details of the doctor's office. My 3 year old was actually, shockingly, really good. He only stood up and tried to launch himself off the examining table and onto my back three times and he only crawled under the table to drum on the metal surfaces twice. The baby, on the other hand, threw herself down on the floor and had an all out temper tantrum. Why, you ask? What could've happened to make her behave like that? What horrible thing did I do to incite such rage? I had the audacity to take my son's "pee cup" away from her so she couldn't drink it. Yes, I know. I'm horrible. I wouldn't let her play with his urine specimen, thus the head banging, anger filled, flailing , screaming, crying entertainment for the entire office.
Do I look pretty, Mommy? Lipstick - it not only looks good, it tastes good too.
Ignore the piles of laundry on the bed.
It's nice, even if it only happens at the end of a stressful day, to see the kids playing together. Tupperhat anyone?
Now I have to get some sleep because I'm getting sick. I can feel the tickle in my throat and my head is getting stuffy. It's coming. Unfortunately, I'm on call for the next 20 years and my employer doesn't give me any sick days, so I'd better get some rest.
Oh yeah! I can't even remember what I had for lunch today. You think I can remember what kind of carpeting I got 5 years ago?! This is what it looks like though. It's a brownish, dirt colored berber with multi colored flecks in it. At least I think the flecks were there when I first got it.
Oh yeah again - my kids' names! OK, I've got
Austin
Savannah
Jackson
Lexington
Clayton
Brooklyn
That's six, right? Yep, that's all of them. OK, now I'm really going to bed.
124 comments:
what a way to begin the day!!!
Just had to be the first commentor! Woohoo! I'm loving your blog, thanks for making MY life seem normal. LOL
Nicole (mom of 8)
I just read your "story" on eBay, and just HAD to come to come to your blog! You have a great sense of humor, you really should start sending this stuff to all those Parenting magazines! And I love love love today's analogy of the dr's office to the Seinfeld rental car episode LOLOL!
So, this mom in NJ just wanted to say hi, and thanks for the laughs :-)
Hope you wake up feeling all better!! My two boys had two sets of tubes each also. I so know all those doctor visits. They finally at age 4 or 5 out grew the ear infections. Good luck with the surgery!!
I tried something on ebay, got the idea from you. I offered my bald chicken and sun block story as a bonus to all my items I have for sale. Of course I just posted the blog site on my listing so everyone could view it. This trying to grow and advertise a new business on a stay at home moms budget is though!! I have gotten 100's of hits on the blog and store site but only two comments. I hope some day I am overwhelmed with comments such as you are. I still love coming to your blog and getting a huge smile for the day!!
Thanks and get well,
Stacey
Found you via the ebay auction. Awesome. I have only three and people think I'm mad. Props!
Ahhhh....the joys of surgery. Nothing's quite as funny as when give the 3 year old that medecine to make them "relax"....they look like a person at the end of a three day drinking spree. When my oldest got his tonsils out he decided to play in the closet when we first got to the hospital. Needless to say, the anestesiologist had to come get his vitals so that he could do that claculation thing he needed to do.....the kid wouldn't come out of the closet. When the Dr. was done, he looked at my mother and I and said "Well, that's the first time I've ever done vitals in the closet." Even worse though....about 3 years later when my mom had to have a minor procedure done...same anestesiologist....he says "Hey, wasn't it your grandson in the closet that one time??" Gotta love em.
Ah yes, Adventures At The Doctor's Office. Even with only 2 children, that can be quite the adventure.
I think the best story I can come up with was when I took my 6 year old to have a checkup before starting 1st grade. She had to have a shot, of course she whined and complained though she did great when she got the shot. Once she was done, my 3 year old chimed in... "I want a shot TOO!" That was the first time I've ever heard a child ASK for a shot. :)
Thank you for the stories, they really are entertaining. And thanks for the picture of your carpet. It's about time for us to get new carpet (the 10-year-old Builder's Crap Special is completely worn out) and I would LOVE something like what you have. I'll have to go looking!
That lipstick is a good shade on her!
Good luck with the upcoming surgery.
Just wanted to say I LOVE YOUR BLOG! :) I've followed it since the auction on ebay. I always look forward to reading it. I am a mother of 5 so I can totally relate! Can't wait for the book!
Hey! I think my first-thing-in-the-morning sense of humor ran into yours down at the beach in St. Croix, getting a massage while enjoying strawberry daiquiris! I sure hope they're having fun!
Seriously, hugs for making it through a tough day. :)
stopping by to say hi. sounds like so much fun!
p.s. hope you're not getting sick because the house will fall apart! :)
So, I just thought I would be one of the hundreds of thousands that must be hitting your blog up on a daily basis now. I wanted to tell you that your writings are absolutely amazing! I work nights and play chauffeur rather early in the morning (I would be one of those night owls you speak of :P) anyway I get out of work around 2 a.m. and the alarm rings at five, however the last few nights (since my brother e-mailed a link to your eBay auction) I have neglected to fall asleep and instead stay up catching up on your blog. I'm now up to date and look forward to reading what you write next!!! Keep up all the good work! Can't wait to see that book be published :)
-Rusty
Just a small message from the other side of the ocean: the Netherlands. Strange, but we seem to have the same kind of children overhere. The noisy, lovingly, over-enthusiastic (to their own ideas that is), lazy (as a respons to everything that we would ask them to do), wonderful and funny kids...that must be why your blog is so populair around here!
Keep up the wonderful writing! Oh...and keep breathing... ;-)
I have four kids and visiting your blog has just become the highlight of my day!
Thank you for sharing!
Oh no, I hope you're feeling well on Saturday! No time off for moms.
If not, I'll be suffering with you. It's almost 5:30am and I haven't gone to bed yet. And you know this means the kids will wake up extra early today.
Try doing the doctor's office with an autistic child whose special talent is besting Harry Houdini.
I hope you are feeling better!
You are a riot. I tried to get my dh to read your blog, but her would rather play out in his garage.
I wish I knew you in real life. You seem to really make the best of everything. Hmm, do you really have a choice?
Keep up the good work!
Ah, the dr. office. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I am sorry for the yogurt shower in your kitchen. I loved the picture of the boys playing. Sweet.
LOL I didn't notice the laundry on the bed until I read the caption! Oh how I love your kids' names. It would be a fun family long-term goal to actually visit all 6 of those cities...I keep telling my older children, when the babies get a little older, then maybe we'll manage a family vacation. But not right now!
I'm looking forward to reading a book written by you! It is like Erma Bombeck reborn! Make sure you include a chapter about "fundraising chocolate" so someday I'll get to laugh about the 6 cases that are currently stacked on my piano so the 2-year old can't help himself...again.
Firstly, My mother has suddenly happened upon your blog and e bay. She is convinced that I am the one writing all of this stuff, stealing pics off the internet and have suddenly stolen 4 more kids to my 5 year old twin boys. I love the lipstick picture, especially the fact that the plug is uncovered, you know I think moms like us just make our kids stronger, like stick your finger in there, you will learn your lesson. Good luck with the tonsil thing,,,,we just had that done in our house and what a nice day it was to have ONE of them knocked our. Happy days.
Hi! Just wanted to say I hope you feel better! I have to admit I have come to enjoy sick days on the weekends, when I can tell my hubby I'm going to bed and good luck with it all! Of course, they still barge in 20 times but I do enjoy some time semi-alone, even if I don't feel great. Only happens about once a year, but I'll take it! When people ask me what my dream vacation is...I don't say Hawaii or Fiji...nope, I just want everyone else in the family to go on vacation and leave me home alone...something I haven't experienced in about 8 years!
Hang in there
deb, mom to four special needs kiddos!
Dawn,
Your writing style reminds me so much of this one author named Haven Kimmel whose first book is called A Girl Named Zippy. It is hilariously funny and she writes in that conversational, self-deprecating, totally honest "voice" that you also use in your writing. If you ever have time (haha), check her out- it's her story of growing up in a small Indiana town.
I am enjoying your writing, but I am enjoying your journey much more!
Leah
Are you kids named after Cities? I recognize, Savannah, Jackson, Lexington and Broklyn.
My older daughter ate most of a tube of lipstick when she was 2; naturally, it was my favorite one. I called poison control, and they laughed their heads off - said it'd all come out at once and make her diaper really pretty.
I agree with samantha in ak about the initial anesthesia for the tonsillectomy - both the surgeon & my husband had a hoot over my other daughter when she was 4 & had hers out. I found it rather disturbing seeing her acting so drunk, though.
thank you for sharing your stress busting writerly release on mothering, the original career. I currently feel that every aspect of my life with 3 kids, a hubby, and a 67 pound lapdog is somehow applicable to a Seinfeld moment. It is good to feel the sister solidarity in the war waged to raise a family.
I do not mind going to the market... with the kids... it is not normal. i know. But... they live for the shot to drive each other crazy. On days when there are a few unspent dollars available(mark blue moon on your calendar), I let them each try to select something from the store for their personal whimsy. Usually it is candy...since my husband will have them tithe that selection to him, it is safer than you might think. But on a day when all planets align and Jupiter is in the seventh house... they collaborate and get something to use together. Chips and dip, ice cream and hot fudge sauce... etc.
this allows me to order my meat at the meat counter and still be able to form 2 sentences in a row. hamburger.85%. 3 pounds please.
chicken thighs,see if you can give me , um 10 bucks worth...
also I like to let them pick out their own yogurts. You would think that they were offered the crown jewels or something.
anyways, they all know where every public bathroom on the eastern seaboard is and i make them take each other there. I no longer can go. (the youngest is ten, so if she doesn't get that she needs to use her paper towel to open the door to exit, she is on her own with the stomach bug that will ensue).
I wish you continuing great luck with your folks... they are really quite cute... I know this, because you have not killed any yet. Your postings would be from a corrections facility if you had.
I plan to keep looking in on your hi jinx every two hours and laugh along with the balance of your ever growing fan club.
thanks bunches... wendy
"Ignore the piles of laundry on the bed." That's funny, what's what nearly every caption for the photos on my blog is too.
Oh, and my kids like to play Tupperhat too.
My son likes to run in between the well waiting room and the sick waiting room and play make shift peek a boo with all the sick kids!
Forget about our ENT Dr. He runs up and down the halls screaming and all I can say to the doctor is "You made him not deaf anymore, YOU live with the consequences!"
Feel better!
Oh god I hate doctor's appointments. They're ALWAYS late. I remember one time where I sat there for 2.5 hours. I was furious.
Thank you, thank you for sharing your life and for posting that crazy ebay auction which caused more craziness in your life. I look forward to reading your blog every morning. It always makes me laugh and helps give me a great perspective on my day with my 3 children. I have found in the past week that I have been a more loving, patient and fun Mom because I am not letting the "little" things stress me out. You are making a difference in my life :) Keep up the good work with your brood and please keep writing!!
Funny how they want the most disgusting things! Hope you feel better! I hate the getting sick feeling!
I hear ya on the sick days!! We've got the sniffles and coughs around here this week, too. I didn't realize how much I was able to ENJOY "sick days" before The Child appeared!
I just wanted to say that I love your blog and look forward to reading it everyday. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and are looking foward to having kids in a few years. It's nice to see a real view of parenthood. Thanks for sharing your life with us. :)
Thank you for making me smile :)
Have a great weekend!
Heather
wow tupper hat please! Id like a purple though. Your kids sound like fun x]
♥VivaciousVictor
Too funny about the "pee cup." LOL! :) I'm sorry that you're not feeling good right now; feel better soon, OK? Take care!
I've found the best color of carpeting.... golden retriever brown! By complete chance, my carpet matches our beast - and most of the cookie crumbs. Genius! *G*
I'm another ebay fan who has become a big fan of your blog.
God Bless you and your family!
I love your blog as well, and linked you on my blogroll. I have to ask...did you plan all children to have city names? or is that coincidence? I love their names BTW, just wondering. :-)
I love the lipstick picture too!
I know exactly what you mean about the dr.'s office I hate waiting, when they want us there at a specific time and then they make us wait forever. It was the same way when I took my oldest son to the dentist last week. I have only 2 boys and a stepdaughter and sometimes I think I am going crazy.
I know exactly what you mean about the dr.'s office I hate waiting, when they want us there at a specific time and then they make us wait forever. It was the same way when I took my oldest son to the dentist last week. I have only 2 boys and a stepdaughter and sometimes I think I am going crazy.
My best friend and I have a saying... "the yogurt always wins!" - because no matter how valiantly you try to clean it up, whether it be from a toddler's face, the plate, the floor, the ceiling, you always end up getting it everywhere. The situation is so desperate at my friend's house, with 4 young boys, that she has stopped buying yogurt at ALL. No more little cups, big cups or go-gurt tubes - she's on the wagon because, as she said, "I just can't clean any more yogurt off of anyone or ANYthing." The day her cat was go-gurted was the final straw....
-Mommy of Two Angels (devils!) in IN
Thanks for the laugh today! Even my husband grinned and tried to suppress a laugh. My almost 5 year old *STILL* launches himself off of everything onto my back...off the stairs, off the couch, off a chair, out of the van, off the floor even...anywhere he can if I come close by, he will try to launch himself onto me.
And about the yogurt tubes, when we were moving and had to repaint parts of the house this summer, there was somehow a red spot on the wall that wouldn't come off that my daughter said was yogurt. It took several coats of primer to cover it before we could even paint that spot! Ahh, the joys of parenting.
Saw your ebay post through another blogger and had to check you out. You are hilarious and are a truly gifted writer, thanks for the laughs and I hope you feel better soon!
I love reading your posts. Hilarious!!
Love your blogs! I just posted a blog about my son's 9month dr. visit that you could relate to. Please read it if you have the time, (yea, right, huh?) Do you have any advice on how to get readers to find your blog? I hate talking to myself all the time!
jen-rantsraves.blogspot.com
Thanks,
Jen
Dear Dawn-
I love ck'ing in on your blog! It really makes me feel as if our lives are normal! I love the references to Seinfeld! My oldest,9 yrs old, stays up @ night to watch the reruns that come on @ 10pm with me- yea that's setting great examples on school nights! But he gets all the sarcasm and laughs as much as I do! We love Friends too! We really don't watch alot of TV b/c we are running from one ball field to another most nights, but we do get to see some reruns!
I would love it if you would share with us all some of your "secrets" to making your household run. HAHA- I can imagine your thoughts right now -like yea right! BUt in all seriousness- like the little things like-any tricks on getting thru the morning buzz before the bus runs, packing lunches, laundry, etc- like the organization stuff.
My boys think I'm insane if I dare ask them, tell them to help out around the house! So I've been using tactics like, "I need you to help put away dishes to count towards your citizenship belt loop in Scouts"- Well I realize that will only work temporarily but loving the help! So If you could share some of your ideas on getting the kids to pitch in that would be great!
Also don't forget to post your interview w/ Chicago Tribuene! Thanks again for keeping it real!
Beth- Converted to a Mississippi Mom but IU Hoosier from the start!-(never forget your roots!)
My son, Joshua, had his adenoids taken out when he was 4yrs old. He was given a "cocktail" while in the waiting room (as the doctor presented to us) as a way to calm and ease him into the IV process. Don't know if you have experienced this, but just want to prepare you... the "cocktail" turns your child into a slobbering, slurring drunk! One minute he was talking nonstop one minute to his Daddy about some game on his gameboy, then in a blink of an eye, he began slurring his words and slinking out of his chair. It was quite a sight... How do I get my hands on that "happy juice"?
BTW.... in the recovery room, when Joshua was coming out of the anestesia, he must of had a reaction to the "cocktail" and his response was to thrash and fight. We tried for over an hour to calm him but opted for the medicine that would calm him down (we were told that it could make him sick to his stomach). I was just 5 weeks from delivery with my 4th child so I was okay with the possibility of a throw up episode!
I will keep your 3 year old in my prayers.
---Lisa, mom to my clan of 5
The stuff they gave my #6 before they took him back for the ear tubes made him very bouncy. He was mean, yelling, and just generally ornery after the meds. He was fine before them.
When #7 had his first set of tubes in, I told them not to give him the stuff to relax him.
Ah yes! Three year olds! Mine threw a similar fit when we were there for a sick visit with my 6 year old. His was because I wouldn't let him open and slam the door over and over and over . . . I love trying to hear what the doctor is saying over weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.
About not keeping appointments, did you hear about the lawyer in Florida I think who was tired of waiting so long at the doctor's. He figured out how much money it cost him to sit there waiting and sued. He actually won the case for some obsurd amount. I like your idea of arriving later than scheduled. Think of the time and headache saved!!
One of the families in our church has a very common last name. The parents are Lisa and John. The kids are Athenasius, Demitrious, Tarsisus, Veronica, Philomena and Dominica-I hope I spelled them right. I haven't heard their new baby's name and sex, but I bet they didn't use the names Bob or Sue.
Mine all have Biblical names, but they were names after family members
I used to work in a Dr's office and the reason it always takes so long is that a lot of Drs double-book appointments! Yeah, since so many people just don't show up, these offices schedule 2 patients for each slot! So when everyone actually shows up, or even 60% show, you, the patient, are stuck waiting! And then add in the occassional legit emergency, that explains it. What we did was charge you for the visit even if you didn't show (all the patients knew this ahead of time) instead of double-booking, amazingly most people showed up, and Doc was usually on time or close to it. People are amazing, aren't they?
regards,
Theresa
Love the lip stick picture ! One to be scrapped.
I hope you feel better today ! Lol at the Job / employers not giving any sickies or holidays ! .. This job is a labour of love from start to end Huh ! But it will never end truely, we will get the grandies then :)) But at least then we can hand them back Lol
*hugs*
Debbie xxx
Hello, Dawn! I really enjoyed reading your e-bay story and then checking out your blog! My own 3 kids are teenagers now so we don't have that kind of epidsode anymore, but I still love Mommyblogs, especially funny ones like yours! You can bet I'll be a regular reader from now on!
Actually, I'm one of those annoying lurkers who never comments on the blogs I read (too much time on the computer already!), but I couldn't resist this time, because your story about the yogurt and your 3-year-old's upcoming surgery reminded me of something I heard from a doctor not long ago. A small child was scheduled to be intubated because of recurrent ear infections, but the parents wondered if there was any alternative and asked my doctor friend about it. He is an MD who had given up prescribing medication and used natural methods to help the body heal itself, suggested they take the child off of all dairy products immediately. They did so, the ear infection cleared up and their doctor cancelled the surgery. They told the doctor what they had done, and he said thoughtfully, "Hmmm, yes, there is that option too...." Of course the surgery was more lucrative for him, and eliminating dairy products was probably a bother for the parents, but how lucky for the CHILD that they did it! May I just say here that I personally have been dairy-free for the last 30 years, had and breastfed my three kids dairy-free, and they have never had dairy products other than the very few times when we couldn't avoid them. Not one of them has ever had an ear infection, and, perhaps amazingly to all who have grown up hearing that "Every body needs milk", they all have strong bones and no cavities either! I know this probably sounds like crazy talk, but I would like to suggest that you do a google search on reasons NOT to drink milk and you will probably be amazed and shocked at what you will find. Even if you can't imagine taking your whole family off dairy, I would REALLY like to suggest that you at least try it for a while with your precious 3-year-old. It would take some careful sleuth-work, as dairy products are sometimes called by other names on ingredient lists, and to really give it a fair trial you would need to eliminate ALL of them, but I'm pretty sure you can find a list of the different names dairy goes under on the internet too (such a wonderful tool, this internet!). Please don't write me off as a crackpot on this, before you really check it out, OK? You just might be able to save yourselves some big-time doctor's bills and a lot of misery for your little one. If you want to dialog about this, please feel free to contact me at upacreek5 at smile.odn.ne.jp
I know you're REALLY busy especially now and this is long, but this just might be something really important for your family, and if it helps you or your little one at all, I will be most gratified! I'm sending this off with a little prayer that it will be a blessing to you!
Keep up the good work with your precious (in spite of how it feels sometimes) kids!
Sheila Kawakami
Dawn I just love your blog. The adventures of raising children is something that has to be experienced to understand. I was a stay at home mom for many years although I only had 2 children, but and that is a big but I babysat for anywhere from 2 to 6 children daily plus caring for my own for about 3 years. Also I came from a family of 12 children--I totally understand where you are coming from! :) Karen
Oh, I have the same carpet in browns, reds, and green. It is AMAZING! Nothing shows on it and it matched EVERYTHING! I LOVE it!
BTW, I'm the oldest of 8 and I'm loving reading your stories... such funny memories! Your kids will have lots of stories to tell when they get older. hehe
One of my twins has had tons of surgery due to being premature but he also had his tonsils/adnoids out and has had tubes. My daughter had tonsils/adnoids out and looked like a drunk going into surgery. She had the dr's laughing she was so goofy telling everyone they had three heads and then giggling profusely. Then they gave her codeine for pain which I did not know made her throw up...lovely. She proceeded to do this in line at xmas time at the post office! I felt the need to tell everyone she was not contagious as they all backed away with terrified looks on their faces. "haha (smiling sheepishly) she just had surgery she is fine." She was very nice though and threw up in the trashcan and not on the floor. Good girl. :) She is also on her 2nd set of tubes. Good luck with your little one!
Kim
www.lilliangraceboutique.com
Dawn, I loved reading your blog and LOVE your sense of humor, thanks for sharing a bit of your life with us, it has blessed my day.
- Dee
i love your stories, thank you for shareing them with us!! makes me look at my days in a better light i seem to laugh off alot of stuff my kids do know and not stress over it as much because now i know they are not the only ones who cover the kitchen in gogurt!!!
much love
Heather mommy of 5
Depriving your child of playing with a urine specimen. What a HORRIBLE mom you are! ;-)
BHG
Hint: We like to freeze our go-gurts! Although if they dawdle like my kids, it would be melted anyway and still the mess.
The sore throat/sinus thing must be going around! (the U.S) We have it here in ND too.
Oh my - LOVE the lipstick picture! Last week, my daughter who just turned two, got ahold of a pink marker. She didn't have to sneak it really, because someone just left it laying on the table which is basically inviting her to color all over herself! She drew lines all up and down each arm and both hands were pink (ambidexterous perhaps?). But the cutest part was that she had colored (almost perfectly) each of her ten little toe nails pink! She was SO proud of them, too! I wish I could upload a picture for you, but I don't have a google account so I have to comment anonomously. Email if you want a pic - alyssa@bcbroadband.com. You probably don't have time, but I just wish I could share it with you!
Ooooh, gotta share another marker story...
When my oldest was 3, things were just way too quiet (that's when you know they're doing something they shouldn't be) so I snuck up and caught him hiding out in the corner of his room with a marker. Upon inspection, I noticed that he had colored-in both of his armpits! I asked him WHY he would color THERE and he said, "I wanted to have hair like Daddy!" SO cute that it's impossible to be mad. I was just lmbo! Gotta love washable markers. I have a picture of that somewhere, too. I always take pictures of the crazy things they do, like the time he got stuck in a folding chair - yes, STUCK!
Oh, and when he got his finger stuck in the foot rest part of the recliner sofa - had to call 911 on that one. His finger swelled and icing or oiling it didn't help. The rescue squad had to use the jaws of life to cut the couch apart (iron folding part of the foot rest). They took him to the ER by ambulance with his finger still in the little hole he stuck it in. It took the maintenance crew at the hospital with a pair of bolt cutters to get it off - just in time as they had surgery prepped for him. What were they gonna do, cut his finger OFF?! Geez.
I could go on and on with my stories, but you tell them in such a humorous way! I'll leave that to you. Just wondering, have you ever lost/left a kid anywhere?! Been there, done that (more than once, I must admit).
As you can see below, my 4 oldest are boys, so there is never a dull moment in my house!
Thank you for showing everyone how much FUN being a mother really is!
God bless,
Alyssa - homeschooling mom to 7 in VA
son-11
son-8
son-7
son-5
daughter-4
daughter-2
son-3 months
lol, yogurt on the walls...
reminds me of when I was little and my best friend and I had a Spaghettio war in her kitchen. Her mom was scraping dry spaghettios off of the weirdest places months later! ;)
love the laundry on the bed, my pile is bigger than yours, na na, na na na
and I notice the tp in the background on the other photo, is it safe there? you may want to move it to higher grounds before the kiddos decide to use it to decorate the bedrooms or to create "paper mache" to make face masks with...
ah, life with kids (I have 5, by the way, 8, 7, 4, 2, and 3months)
keep up the good work, lady! :)
Hi, I umm... i see you have so many people who comment! I feel like Im a bit of an annoyance to add to it all but I just wanted to say that as I'm reading, I picture it as a movie. I like your kids names too.
Dawn...
I have to tell you, your house looks cleaner than mine, and I only have 3 kids! I don't know how you do it, but you're amazing. I really have fallen in love with you and your beautiful family just like the rest of the world. Thank You for sharing them and yourself with us.
Tami
I have been trying to keep up with your blog since the ebay auction. As many have said you are a great writer and I look forward to hearing about someone else who has a large family and the antics that are involved. We have 5 kids from 17 months to 18 years and enjoy (almost) every minutes of it. I don't usually post but wanted to scan the comments and see if anyone else had mentioned the dairy/ear infection link to you. I hope you will read and take to heart what Sheila Kawakami said in her post. My youngest two have dairy protein allergies and when we did let the 3 year old have dairy for a while she ended up with a raging ear infection. Once we stopped the diary she was fine. Also since I quit dairy I haven't had any issues with my asthma, since I was in 5th grade I have always had to carry an inhaler, now I rarely even know where it is. I know this sounds kind of weird in a society where "Milk Does a Body Good", but check into it. And don't stop blogging, you help keep me sane.
Michelle
My friend sent me a link to your ebay auction. I loved your way of putting motherhood into words! Seems that everyoen else does too! Good luck on any future endevors that come your way!!!!
Laura from Idaho
You are hilarious, I love reading your blog, I have 6 kids myself and can relate to all the things you have written about. You are awesome!
Love, love, love the pictures!
You always make my day and I know 1000's of others can say the same.
God bless,
Elaine
I may only have three boys, but I am with you on the "launching". My youngest got a green slip (which is not a good thing), at school, because he would not leave the mayo packet alone, and he kept squeezing it, and proceeded to make the mayo a projectile into the little girl's hair next to him AND 6' up the wall. Oh, and the best part of it was, we were in a heat wave and it was about 100* outside, so inside the cafeteria it was about 125*! To say the least the little girl, let alone the principal in no way found humor, or anything else for that matter, in the situation.
I have no idea what it is, but for some reason, when boys have something in their hands, they have to make it a projectile. If could answer why they do it, I would have answered one of the great mysteries of the world.
Dawn,
Who knows if you'll actually get time to read this far in your list of comments, but I wanted to recommend "Airborn" to you. You start taking it when you first start to feel sick. It has saved me from many an illness! You can find it at most Walgreens, Oscos, or Targets. I swear by the stuff!
Good luck!
ha ha ha! yogurt flings and lipstick tasting! ummm!? i have 20 month old twins, such fun things to look forward to!
ROFL!
Your kiddos are beautiful! :D
I'm loving your blog. I only have one almost-two-year-old child, and when we're having a bad day, I read your blog and get a huge smile on my face! Keep up the good work!
By the way- it sounds like the kids were pretty darn good at the doctor's office, all things considered! I know what you mean about the wait though. The kicker is if you did show up late for appointment, they'd chastise you for it. Forget all the hours you've spent waiting on them. If you keep them waiting even a couple minutes, then you're the bad guy! (rolling eyes)
I just read your blog for the first time (I received a link from the Ebay article) and I laughed so hard I had to go "potty". You will definately be on my list of favorites to come visit. HILARIOUS!!!
I don't know how you do it, really. Thank you so much for sharing your humor and your stories with everyone. These posts make my day! I can't wait for the book! ;)
So my question, your children all seemed to be named after major US cities. So was that planned or just a coincidence?
As a mom of 4 children, 1 with special needs, 1 who is just crazy wild, and the other 2 are twins (that says it all right there huh?) I can completely relate with all of your stories and thoughts. Thank you for sharing your days with us, and your talent in writing. I aspire to write like you, but you probably do not have to give it a second thought when the words are pouring out of your fingertips. Enjoy your weekend.
My brother has six kids (seventh on the way, some confusion as to what's causing the pregnancies, I think), and of course I forwarded him your eBay story.
He laughed, and usually he only laughs at his own jokes!
Do I ever know all about drs visits. My oldest is deaf and a dwarf, so we have been to a doctor once or twice. She has had 6 surgeries (5 sets of tubes, 1 adnoidectomy and cochlear implant). I would love to hear your antics about a drs office with kids. The longest I ever had to wait was 4 hours to see the doctor for 15 min. I never went back to that doctor again.
I found your blog from somebody forwarding me your e-Bay auction. You are my new hero, and clearly a marketing genius!
I have been reading loyally since I read your auction, and I had to share my own Dr's office story. A couple of months ago I had to take my then 1 week old in, it was our 3rd appt since leaving the hospital since he was having Jaundice issues. The dr's office sent me to the hospital to get blood work done, we get there and the paperwork my Dr faxed over has the wrong last name on it. The lab can't use any of the orders from the previous days that are identical, they need one from today with the right name. So they call my doctor's office, which had just closed for they're hr and a half long lunch break. During which they don't answer phones. So I decide to get lunch too rather than wasting my time sitting around for an hr and a half unnecessarily. So I eat and call the Dr's office the second they reopen, asking them to refax the order and change my appt with them, which had been supposed to be first thing after they reopened for lunch but was also supposed to be to go over the blood work that hadn't been done yet. They said to go back to the hospital, do the blood work and come in to the office ASAP, and they would take me "right away." So! Baby and I went back to the hospital, got the blood work done and went to the doctor's office, it has already been a very long day for a 1 week old and his mommy. We got to the doctor's office, signed in on the clip board, and waited. And waited, and waited, and waited. For over 2 hrs, while other ppl who arrived after me went back, and left. Finally I went and asked when they were going to take me back. The woman looked horrified, mumbled something about asking in the back, and fled. A few minutes later I was called back. My doctor asked why I had left the first time, I looked at him puzzled and said I had been waiting for 2+ hrs. Apparently they had accidentally taken my name off the list in the back and when he asked what happened to me told him I must have left. The women up front forgot about me. My doctor was so mad, If I hadn't been so tired and stressed I would have been too. It was the longest day ever. Luckily my poor little baby slept most of the time.
WOW!
You and I are alter egos!! We write on the same thing!! CRAZINESS THAT WILL MAKE SOMEONE ELSE (emphasis on "else") LAUGH!
I have my own column in a local paper and my 1st choice for names for it was "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
I loved your ebay auction and have been following your blog! You make me laugh so hard! I MAKe my husband sit and listen as I read it outloud to him!!! He says, "You should get ahold of her!! You are like twins separated at birth!"
Just wanted to share the love - tell you how fabulous I think you are and praying for cotinued blessings for you and your family!!
michellebrownlow@yahoo.com
Hi Dawn, I have been reading your blog for a few days now. I am cracking up. I Have one 10 year old son so I really don't have a hard time. Yet! I just wanted to tell you about when my son(3 at the time) put a candy up his nose. I rushed him to the local medi-center. Before we seen the doctor he blew it out into a tissue. My son then proceeds to ask me. Can I Eat It!!! Geesh the things kids say! Keep me laughing! Kris in Michigan
I'm so enjoying your blog. You know, misery loves company. :)
I'm there with you sister. One time my son got mad and threw an economy size bottle of hand lotion across the kitchen. You can imagine the rest from there.
And yes, I hate waiting for the doctor to grace me with his presence, because we know his time is far more important than mine. I only have 18 other places to be in one day!
As for the 3 year old tantruming, I look at my kids and tell them that they're tantrum is really lame and they need to do it better to impress me. I have been known to SHOW them how to do it too!!
Repeat after me, chocolate and a bubble bath, chocolate and a bubble bath, chocolate and a bubble bath, chocolate and a bubble bath.....
Take Airborne. It is a miracle worker. I have 5 kids - ages 8,6,4,2,and 4 months. Trus me!!!
Meg from Idaho ( and yes I only live a couple of blocks away from a potato field.)
Your carpet is quite nice - and no blue yogurt (gogurt?) anywhere! Yay! :)
I think we have the same comforter on ouyr bed as you have on yours. I bought it at Big Lots 12 years ago.
Nice to know I'm not alone!
I second Sheila's post about dairy. My father is an M.D. who specializes in nutrition, allergies, and preventive medicine. He deals with allergies day in and day out and one of the MOST common allergies is dairy (other very common ones are wheat, eggs, and corn).
Anyway, he says that one of the most common *symptoms* of a dairy allergy is ear infections. He recommends taking kids with ear infections off of all dairy products (including chese and yogurt) and seeing what happens.
It can take about 2 to 3 weeks for all dairy to clear out of your system and see results, but it's totally worth a shot.
I suggested this to another Mom who was going to have tubes placed in her son's ears. She took him off of dairy and his ear infections totally cleared up, thus no tubes needed.
Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there. Only you know what is best for your own kids.
I do want to say I absolutely LOVE your blog and have been reading it religiously since I found out about it. Yep, I'm another Mom who found it because of your auction. :-)
Have a great weekend,
Joanell Estar
Hello, ***Feeling a Little Sickish Coming Down With Something Dawn***:
I'm a "Grandmummy" now.
BUT:
My original three, plus the two spawned from my middle child, are a good match for your brood.
Allow me:
BRACE YOURSELF
Once upon a time, I was delirious on the couch,had a fever of 105 and was, later, (when I couldn't breathe) diagnosed (by a LICENSED MD!!!) of DOUBLE PNEUMONIA. That means bacterially infected fluid in BOTH LUNGS.
"You know," said above-mentioned **MD** "this is no joke; people still die from pneumonia."
"Mmmphgghhh, ya, I know," said I.
"I usually admit people THIS SICK to the hospital." (capital letters are mine), said this so-called MD.
"But since you have *THREE SMALL CHILDREN,I'LL SEND YOU HOME.* Just tell your husband how serious this is."
"Mmm. Gmmmmhh. Gasprrrrrrgh, uhhhghhh, mm," said delirious I.
"My huzzb..... is at work........ he said something..... (while the two saggy baggy diapered ones picked crusty things from my eyeballs)...... he said he knew what he ***couldn't*** do. . . . and went to work with a 'Bill Eats Boogers' sticker stuck to his leg."
When Bill Eats Boogers returned from work, I was semi-comatose and HOME looked like a crack house. Stinky diapered semi-toddlers wandered about strewn granola bar wrappers, pieces of Captain Crunch, and yogurt containers. The fridge was splayed open. The five year old blithely watched TV. I had pretty much expired.
I pulled thorough. More later.
Much more.
NEXT:
"We are famous at the Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary."
k
Hi Dawn,
My name is Dawn and I also have six children in the house and one getting ready to go into the Navy. Your life sound if I am looking at mine in the mirror. Keep smiling!!!!!
We love you on GotTwinz.net! My twin boys will be 3 on Friday, so I feel ya on 3 year old boys LOL.
The Bible says a merry heart does good like a medicine. It says the joy of the Lord is our strength. It says that if we will just wait on the Lord He will lift us up on eagle wings and make us run and not grow weary. And just for moms, He says if we live a life that is honoring to Him and love Him above all, one day our children will rise up and bless us. Our husband will also rise us and say, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but the WOMAN how loves GOD, she will be praised. Dear sista, keep pressing on with your little flock in tow. Your wonderful and postive outlook, unflappable and optimistic view of life along with your determination to look unto Jesus, the author and finihser of the faith, will not only allow you to survive mothering but to literally thrive in the midst of it, raise up some great kids and love your husband. May God bless you with abundance of grace and a renewed sense of His presence in the midst of the chaso of your life! Blessings. Jean Stockdale
Are your children named after cities for a reason???
Just curious. :)
Keep up the great work! I really home you write a book--I'll be the first in line to buy it.
My husband and I just had a conversation yesterday about the doctor's office. I had the FIRST appt of the day (my kids needed vaccs) but was still waiting after one hour. My dr's ofc always charges me the co-pay first, so I feel like I'm stuck there since they have my money. But this time, I decided I'd had enough so I walked up to the front ofc and said, "If I leave now w/o seeing the doctor, will I get my co-pay back"? Well, boy howdy! Did that get a response!
At first, one of the assistant's said, "He only has one patient ahead of you". I said, "No. I'm not waiting. I had the FIRST appt of the day and it's already been an HOUR"!
So they offered to move me to a PA's room. I said, "Fine. But I'm only waiting another 15 mins and then I'm leaving". Well, the PA was in the exam room in 5 mins! He took care of both of my kids, was pleasant and I was on my way.
When I got home and told dh about it, he said, "Ya know, that reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where he's trying to rent a car and he has a reservation..."
LOL!
My firstborn had his tubes at 11 months--that cocktail is pretty funny.
I look forward to reading your blog every day! Thanks :) Perhaps through your writing some people will begin to understand the life of a SAHM. It's not all bon-bons and nail appointments!
Dawn,
I first became aware of your blog when a friend e-mailed me your Pokemon eBay listing. Loved it!! I'm the oldest of 6, and have a soon-to-be 6 yr. old of my own so I can definitely relate to what you have to say. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. One quick question... Is it just a coincidence that all 6 of your kids have names that are also U.S. cities? :)
Thank you so much for being so willing to share your life with us. Every time I am having a crazy day with my three kids, I know you will cheer me up. It's not that I am laughing at you or anything, it's just nice to know that there are other moms and kids out there having the same struggles as I am.
It's sad to think that experiences like these make others not want to have children. I couldn't imagine my life without my kids. Through the good and the bad, and the really REALLY bad, I am so grateful that I have them. People like that will miss out on some of the greatest blessings in this world.
Thank you for making things seem more tolerable. When I'm ready to pull my hair out, I try to find the humor in the situation.
I can't wait to read your book!! And I will be one of the first in line if you get a movie deal! How exciting for you and your family! It really is wonderful. Thank you for the love and cheer you have spread.
Keep it up!
I have been taking Airborn night time to keep thoose colds away that us moms are not alowed to have. :)
I love your blog! thanks for posting it! you give me hope cause if you can do it surly I can survive my 2 boys :)
~Liz
Fun times!!! I hate doctor visits too. Hope you start feeling better.
Just wanted to let you know a little trick I found that has helped this harried mother of six fight off colds and such that might try to put me down when I can't afford to be. When you first feel the signs of a cold, gargle with a 50/50 solution of hydrogen peroxide and water. Also, dip q-tips in hydrogen peroxide and clean out your ears and nose. It feels weird in the nose but a good lot of germs enter through the ears and nose. I have been able to ward off some of the colds that have come my way by fighting the first signs like that. It beats trying to work through the cold!
I enjoy reading your blog when I get the chance. II can't relate to 6 kids, but having 9 month old twins canbe challenging. They were sick all week and I have not left the house in 5 days. Not even to step outside. The dr. visits can be crazy too, I can't go alone, I have to have another person just to manage.
I have those same orange, green, and blue bowls. Tupperware is the best!
Hi got your blog from your ebay auction as a mother of grown kids I love your stories can't wait for each new one keep bloging your great
phyl
I am loving your blog. I got your ebay auction from a forward email. I am a working mother of 4. 3 of which are boys. 15,13,8,and4. But my 4 yr. old gives us the run for our money. Been there done that on the yogart! and pudding, koolaid, shampoo, lotion etc. Just about anything he can squeeze to get liquid or goo out of. Sometimes to keep myself from stringing him up I just have to cry or laugh!! By the way I never take all my bunch to the grocery store. Fortunately now 2 of mine are old enough to help watch the others but boy sometimes that just causes more of a headache. good luck with your son having surgery!And maybe you can get some fortune with all this fame you are have!
OMG you kids have other real like names?.......Austin, Savannah, Jazkson, Lexington, Clayton & Brooklyn...i really did think their names WERE Aj,Nana, Boo, Princess, Spaz and Baby.....LOL...Wha a funny blog u have once again....u gave me a giggle......Nice to know that there are other mums with kids that do similar things to mine. Have a lovely week. Tanya from australia. xoxoxoxo
Oh the joys of children and their ability to take an already long, miserable situation and make it so much better.
I hope you feel better soon. That tickle in the throat is one thing I really hate.
Dawn,
Love your blog. Love your sense of humor. You are America's next Erma Bombeck! Keep it up!
Anyone miss Saran Quick covers? I have a great replacement for you see my ebay auctions - thatgirljd
My sense of humor would be absent if I work up to yogurt everywhere too. I like the convienence of the yogurt tube but the tube as a weapon? Not so much.
I cracked up at your refusal to let your baby have the pee cup! What kind of mother are you? ;-)
I was right! It IS the same color as my carpet! Wow, when my godson moves in with me no one will notice the pee. Yes.. he likes to decorate with urin. I'm supposing this is a boy thing.
I'm hoping when/if (crossed fingers here) my bf moves here from NY that he won't notice his godson is a bit creative with the hose.
My 9 year old wandered into the living room one day, and spotted his older brother asleep on the couch. Like a cat stalking his prey, he stealthily approached, black marker in hand, and proceeded, with a generous hand, to adorn his sleeping brother with mustache, beard, thick eyebrows, arm hair, and CHEST HAIR--all done in black marker. And then he came up to me, grinning evilly, and said "Mommy, come look at Steven!"
My foster kids are 23 months and 31 months. You never know what will send one of them into a temper tantrum. Yesterday it was because I would not allow the twenty-three month old to go down the very steep slide used by the six older children. We have a slide just right for her, but she wanted to do the one that the bigger kids do. The nerve of me!
Ok, it's really getting spooky! You are living in one of my parallel universes. My sis sent me your E-bay thing because it reminded her of me, so I got on and read about your last 2 months. Everything, and I mean everything is out of my life. As a matter of fact a friend called all the way from Chile to ask if the Pokemon card thing was mine. Now the Go-gurt! Too spooky. When (IF)your life settles, go to my blog at little-but-loud.blogspot.com and read Family Heirlooms. I hope you make a pile of money now, you write our life so much better than I do, so I now have an excuse not to ever publish, I'll just refer my family to you! Shellie
Your blog is one of the highlights of my day! I look forward to reading it as soon as the kids are down for the night. Thanks for always making me laugh!
Hi Dawn!
Im Lynn - a SAHM to 3 kids. Only half of what you put up with! haha I, like many, found my way here via your ebay auction. I just wanted to say that Ive been reading and enjoy your blog!
I too have an AJ and a Lexie! :)
Lexie (Alexandria) is my 8yo, AJ (Aiden Jacob) is my 19 month old lil man, and then I also have a 7yo step daughter. Life is chaotic here with 3, I can only imagine your days!
Thanks for sharing your humor - I love your writing style. I like to think that my blog is amusing - but Im no where near as amusing as you are!!
ps: best of luck with the surgery! My Lexie had tubes 3 times, adn the last time they put the tubes in, he took out her adenoids... and VIOLA! No more EI's and no more problems! Gotta love it!
Take care!
Hi! Like so many other readers, I was sent your eBay ad! I agree about the Dr. appt stuff. What really gets my nerves - what nerves I have left - is when you show up five or ten minutes late and they refuse to let you see the dr. Are you kidding me?! This actually happened to me last year with my then 18 yr old foster son. I pull him out of class take him all the way across town - you know because the only doctors to take foster kids HAS to be on the OTHER side of town. We show up with what we thought was time to spare only to be told that we were late. 7 minutes late. Because we were soooooo late the doctor could no longer see us. At this moment I begin to see red stars. I take a look around the office and notice the 4 -out of 20 some - chairs EMPTY. The place was packed!! Tring to be as kind and understanding as I could at this moment I asked the front desk if the doctor was on time today. I was informed that he was not - SURPRISE! I proceed to ask if he had seen the person that was scheduled before my son. No?! then what is the big deal?!?! Well after several minutes of frustration I resolved myself to find a new doctor for my son and never to return to the office again. I don't think they noticed my protest - they never do!
I will add one note of what I do now when I have to wait in the exam room for more than five minutes for any other appts. I find things in the room to entertain myself or my other kids. Tongue depressors, giant q-tips, medical tape. You would be surprised to see how many things you can come up with! You may also see a reduction in wait time for your next visit!
Take care and keep it up!
God Bless,
Sara in Ohio
Oh yeah... don't try that showing up late to the doctor thing... if YOU'RE more than 15 minutes late, they won't see you... I've tried that. I showed up 16 minutes late. Sigh.
WOW! My friend emailed me today telling me about your blog and how it reminded her of my blog. Except for the fact that you have twice as many children as I do!
WOW! You GO GIRL! I will be checking out more of your blog, along with a million more SAHMs!
I love the photo with your daughter and the lipstick and the uncovered outlet right next to her head!!!
Looking forward to reading more of your blog!
I was thinking the same thing...
where are your outlet covers!??!?!
Hee hee hee - we have the same Tupperhat! :)
Question about your child who has the tubes. My son Jackson has had a horrible problem with ear infections. He's had 20+ since he was 8 mos old. I finally convinced his doc. to recommend him to a ENT to get tubes because I knew he had hearing loss. Jackson had the tubes put in in April and he still gets infections.
Someone said I should have his adenoids checked... Since you mentioned it in your blog I'm wondering if you can offer me any thoughts / advice???
Thanks!
Jenn
I love your blog! So funny!
Don't worry about the outlet covers;kids these days know how to pull them off and chew on them too along with anything that is not nailed down. I am a mother of four and have never baby proofed my home. Kids know how to open everything--the labels that say "Child Proof"--are not! They are "Adult Proof". Give a child anything that you can't open and it takes them 2 seconds!!!!!!!!
Common folks--get real! They did not have any of these baby proof things when we were kids & it looks to me as if we are all still alive! We can't live in a panic stricken world--no wonder our kids look at us as if we were nutso!
Enjoy being a parent---don't be a cop!
Dawn, I so relate to you! Granted you are 3 up on me; nonetheless I lose count & cannot remember names! "Hey kids" usually works wonders--lol ;-) Go figure; I picked the same carpet as not to show leftover or lost food particles. Has your carpet starting having runs in it due to your little ones dragging anything like belt buckles over it? My is starting to look like patch work rather than berber carpet.
Have a great weekend Dawn! Look forward to hearing additional chapters! LOL
Rebecca C.
hey lady, where are you? we miss you!
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