Sunday Sound Out

From Chicago, where we eat our hotdogs with mustard, relish, tomatoes, hot peppers, onions, and a pickle, it's Sunday Sound Out with Dawn Meehan! Tonight: answers to your questions and musical guest Anita Renfroe! And now, the woman who reached 5 million hits to her blog today, it's Dawn Meehan!

I hope all the moms and mom-like women out there had a nice Mother's Day! I was going to invite my parents, grandma and sister over for brunch, but they already had plans to get together. So I resigned myself to staying home and doing nothing. Since I was first pregnant with Austin in 1994, Joe has said the same thing, "Why should I do anything? You're not MY mom." So Mother's Day has not typically been a fun day for me. This year was different. I taught Sunday school and Joe made brunch after church. Austin and Savannah played with the little kids and occupied them so I could take a nap while Joe went to his parents' house. And Joe made dinner this evening and he didn't use lemon-lime Kool-Aid at all.

For years, I wished that he would just help the kids pick out a card or make a card or acknowledge Mother's Day in some way. This year, I think he tried to make up for the past several years and got me way too much stuff. I'm so happy they replaced the necklace I broke a few months ago. They also got me a Keurig coffee maker with some coconut coffee and a tray to set my laptop on so it doesn't burn off my legs. Clay decorated an oatmeal container and filled it with paper flowers, Jackson and Lexi bought me musical cards, and Savannah, Jackson, Lexington, Clayton & Brooklyn made me cards and pictures. It was nice. :)

So I remember you twittering and asking if you should get an iPhone and then twittering how you got your iPhone. How do you like your new iPhone?? (I love mine a lot!)
I love my iPhone! I'm still not fond of the keyboard, or how it likes to "correct" me while I'm typing. If I type "AJ" when talking about my son, for example, it likes to "correct" me and change it to "an". If I write "hee hee" to indicate I'm giggling, my iPhone will "correct" me and change it to "her her" because really, why wouldn't I write "her her" when I'm laughing? Grrr, that part can be frustrating. On the flipside, it's nice that it corrects me when I write something like "dtive" and it changes it to "drive". It's a toss up. But overall, I LOVE it!

Regarding your SSO pics: Why would you shut the bathroom door when you're all by yourself??
Because I'm nuts. Even in a hotel room by myself, I have to shut the bathroom door. It's just one of those things that proves I'm crazy idiosyncrasies that makes me adorable.

Am I the only one that doesn't know what the slaughter rule is?
It's a rule in baseball that keeps a team from being "slaughtered" with a score of like 428 - 3. In the fifth inning (my kids only play 7 innings) if the one team is ahead by 15 or more runs, the game ends by slaughter rule.

So which team got slaughtered, Austin's or the other guys?
Actually, Austin's team rallied that night and only lost by a couple runs. Despite the fact that Austin pitched 3 innings and ended up throwing 102 pitches! (He only walked one kid during that time!) Savannah's softball team, on the other hand, was slaughtered their first 2 games.

I'm thoroughly chuffed to find your book available in South Africa. Any chances of you coming here for a signing?
First of all, is "chuffed" a good thing? And, although I'd love to visit South Africa, I don't think I'll be heading there anytime soon.

Do they always put you in a room by yourself with two beds? Doesn't that make you feel lonely when you wake up to a room by yourself and another bed that's empty?
Uhhh no. It makes me want to get up and jump from bed to bed and sing happy songs that I got a good uninterrupted night's sleep.

Ew on the Escargots....So what do they taste like?
Garlic-flavored chewy slime.

Whats with the PRA in sky writing in one pic?
Someone had made a smiley face and written "Jesus loves you". I didn't see the "PRA" until I looked at the picture, but I'm guessing they wrote "pray".

Thanks for the review of the family suites at the All Star. Any photos of those rooms? We have been staying at a Disney Vacation Club (Old Key West) during our last two trips (which is pretty affordable when you buy someone's "points"), but I think the suites might be more up our alley.

I do have pictures, in fact! I set up a Flickr account and will upload all my Disney pictures there tomorrow.

By the way, how is your book doing? (Is it okay to ask that?)
No, it's not ok to ask. Just kidding. Sorry, I just had a smart-aleck moment. I think it's doing pretty well. Now go out and buy a couple copies! Oooo, actually, I just added a link on my website for people interested in buying an autographed copy of my book. You can check it out HERE.

But I must ask...How in the world did Clay get the ladder up against the tree?

There was no tree. It was a short ladder and he just set it up under the gutter where the nest was. Although I wouldn't put it past him to drag out the 6 foot ladder and get it set up against a tree!

I've done dozens and dozens of interviews this month. People tend to ask me the same questions over and over in interviews. But not my friend Cindy from Hello Dollface. Nope, she was the first one to ask me if I liked the Jonas Brothers or Hannah Montana better. LOL! I got to meet Cindy at the Glamor Reel Moments back in October. She's a sweetheart and she's beautiful and she's skinny. I hate her I'm lucky to know her. You can check out her review of Because I Said So HERE.

And I wanted to put a list of my fellow bloggers who were on the Disney World trip with me. They're some really awesome women with some really great blogs! Check them out!

Christine at From Dates to Diapers,
Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry,
Megan at Velveteen Mind,
Lisa at Crazy Adventures in Parenting,
Emily from Mommin' it Up,
Amanda from Oh Amanda,
Marsha at Sweatpants Mom,
Andrea at Mommy Snacks,
Lindsay at Surburban Turmoil
and Maria Bailey of Blue Suit Mom, DisneyWorld Mom panelists- Margaret Fries and Amber Vaughan, and Laura and Leanne from Disney

Stop by my review blog HERE to see my write-up on swimsuits and enter for a chance to win $100 gift card from Lands' End!

And finally, in honor of Mother's Day, is Anita Renfroe with her Mom Song...

I'm Blessed. And So Are You.

Well, it's day two of Jackson without meds. As of right now, I have to say that the diet isn't working. He's off the wall and completely out of control. I'm not sure if he's just eaten something he shouldn't have had or what. I'm not going to give up, but it's going to take a little detective work and a lot of patience, I'm afraid.

I'm so busy this month, I feel like I'm drowning. I haven't had enough time to spend with my kids, I'm letting my house slide. I haven't cooked a decent meal in over a week and I have laundry piled to the ceiling. Brooklyn has given up naps, but she still needs them. I should have said no to being in this play, but it's too late now. I still need to get one costume before Wednesday. I'm making plans to meet with Michelle and Mimi because Kendra was so kind and got us tickets to Oprah's show.

I need to find a way to clone myself so I can make sure the kids practice their instruments, read, do their homework, and get to baseball practice on time and at the right field so we're not standing around amid a bunch of Orioles waiting for other Red Sox to show up. Not that that's ever happened or anything. Ahem.

I haven't had time alone with Joe in forever. Perhaps that's why he knocked 4 holes in the freaking family room ceiling while I was out of town. I guess he didn't remember that brief conversastion where I said, "I don't want lights in the ceiling, and even if I did, we have a lot of other stuff that's higher on the To Do list."

Brooklyn's walking around in a shirt, diaper, snowboots and a backpack while eating leftover pancakes from lunch right now and you know what? I don't have the energy to try and find where she took off her pants. Whatever.

I believe I'm finally done with the book now. I think I may be done with the articles I've written. Maybe. I hope. I'm down to only 50 pieces of mail in my box at the moment.

As busy as I am, I know I can always come here and read your comments and feel a little bit better. Like this one I just got this afternoon....

Dawn! I have been such a big fan of your website for many months now. I used to love how long your blogs would be and how hilarious they were. Then, you started sharing less and less with us because of your book deal, which makes me a tad angry since without us, the readers, you really wouldn't have a book deal. I was so excited to get your book but because this blog has become really boring and seems like such a big time waste for you, I am going to stop reading your blog and won't buy your book. Something has happened to you. You are not funny anymore and seem angry for having to type a paragraph for your readers. You have also said in the past that you exaggerate on a lot of your posts, which makes me think that your household is not as chaotic as you make it seem. You have time to fly every other week, rehearsals, two blogs and your book? Something smells fishy and I think a lot of your fans understand this now....it is sad. I used to be a huge fan, sorry you gave up on us.

LR


Well, LR, I want to thank you for following my instructions on sending me hate mail. There's nothing worse than hate mail containing misspelled words. In the future, so you know, you can just leave. You don't need to inform me of your decision or ask permission, okay. Enjoy not reading my blog and not getting my book. God bless.

Actually, the things that always makes me feel better when I get just a bit too busy are my kids...

One day while the kids were on spring break, Lexi and Clay got up early and made everyone lunch. At 6:30 in the morning. There they were, preparing half a dozen indentical plates, assembly-style. I'm really more of a "coffee for breakfast" kind of person, but how sweet were they?

It's times like that, even though there was peanut butter smeared on every inch of countertop and pretzel crumbs on the floor, that I smile and know that everything in my life is worthwhile. I'm where I'm supposed to be right now. But like everyone else, I'm only human. I regularly get overwhelmed and have a hard time keeping up.

We've all been there. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has taken her child to baseball practice at the wrong field or the wrong time. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has spent an hour looking for my car keys only to find them in the refrigerator. I'm positive I'm not the only person with laundry piled up on the floor, or a baby walking around in a shirt and snow boots saying, "TOTALLY WICKED!" repeatedly. Okay, well maybe I'm on my own with that last one. But my point is - when things seem overwhelming and hectic and you find yourself living in a playland pit of all the balls you've dropped this week, just remember to take a moment and relax. Take a breath and smile and know that you're blessed.

Hey Batter, Batter!

Woo Hoo baseball season is finally over! Now don't get me wrong - I delight in watching my kids play. I really enjoy seeing how the team grows and improves from those first cold pratices in April to the play-offs in July. I love cheering for my kids' teams, watching really close, exciting games, and seeing my kids hit a homerun or make an amazing catch, or slide into home just under the tag. Those things are all great and wonderful.

What I won't miss is trying to get dinner on the table at 4:00 so we can be at a field across town by 5:00. I won't miss packing up coolers with water, and bags with jackets, sunscreen, toys, coloring books, and snacks for the little ones. I won't miss the following dialog, "Do you have your bat? Do you have your glove? Why isn't your glove in your bag? Where's your bag? Well go get it. Yes now. We have to leave in a minute. Find your stuff and get it in the car!" I won't miss repeatedly pulling my one year old down from the bleachers on which she's been climbing or chasing my three year old away from a busy street all while trying to watch the game. And I especially won't miss the planning and coordination it takes to get three kids to games on opposite sides of town at the same time.

I have a huge, color coded calendar that takes up the entire side of my refrigerator, to coordinate games, fields and times. My husband and I draw out a game plan, as if plotting our offense in a football game complete with Xs and Os. “OK. You take Aj, Princess and Spaz at 10:00 and go to Field A. I’ll cut down the middle with Boo, Nana, and Baby and get to Field B at 10:15. Then you double back and pick Nana up at 10:25 and bring her to birthday party. I’ll run across town and get to Aj's game in time for the seventh inning. You cover Boo’s game back at Field B. I’ll bring Aj with me when I pick Nana up from the party and we’ll head to Field C for her game. You round up everyone else and meet us head on at Field C. Got it? Ready? Break!



The Michael Jordan of the baseball world. He sticks his tongue out with every pitch.


Know why my daughter switched from baseball to softball? Because the girls get to wear shorts.


Throwing to first for the out.

I'll look forward to baseball season again in the spring, but for now I'm glad it's over.

Oh yeah - all three of the kids finished out the season with trophies this year.

Aj took fourth place in his league.

Nana took third place in hers.

And Boo came in second place in his league.

You Don't Have to Climb IN the Dishwasher to Unload It

This is how my kids like to "help" me. Nothing makes unloading the dishwasher easier than a baby who keeps climbing into it. Yep, she's almost as helpful as my three year old who likes to throw clean, folded laundry on the floor for me to fold yet again. And again. And again. Whatever would I do without these guys?

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So, we had softball again today. We were up by one. It was the bottom of the sixth inning (they only play six innings). The other team was up to bat. The tying run was on third and bases were loaded. They had two outs. The girl up to bat had a full count. Not too much pressure, right? She struck out and we won. Funny, how I say "we" won like I was out there playing. In fact, had I been out there playing, I'm quite certain we would've lost.

Anyway, this poor girl struck out. Although I feel awful for any kid who gets stuck in that position, I was secretly thanking God that it wasn't my daughter who got the last out. My kids are screwed up enough. I can only imagine, twenty years from now, one of my kids mumbling to their psychiatrist, "If only I'd hit that ball twenty years ago...."

When the game was over, I stood up and cheered, so happy that my daughter's team had won until I realized that meant they'd have yet another play off game. Is it wrong to want baseball season to be over already? I remember when it started back in April. Way back then, we wore winter coats, hats, and gloves. We brought thermoses of hot chocolate to the games and bundled up under big blankets. We went from that weather to 140 degrees in the shade overnight. Gotta love IL.

Welcome to my Blog about Kids and the Chaos They Bring

Welcome to my blog, a place where you can read about my children's adventures and realize that your own kids aren't so bad after all. Or perhaps my blog will be a source of birth control for some. Maybe a young entrepreneur will read this and decide that boot camp for toddlers is actually a very lucrative idea. Perhaps some will be able to relate to the antics of which I will write and will get a laugh out of this blog. Whatever your reasons for reading, thank you and welcome!


I'd like to start with something I wrote back in March of 2005. It's a little story about how a baseball started a day of chaos with my kids. I used the story to sell the baseball as an auction on Ebay. I don’t know what possessed me to make an auction of it, but I did. Now, I believe things happen for a reason. For example - you slip and fall because the kids have poured soap all over the kitchen floor. When you fall to the ground, you see your car keys, that have been missing for two days, shoved under the oven. If the kids hadn’t poured soap on the floor, you wouldn’t have fallen and had you not fallen, it could’ve been years before finding your car keys. See? Things happen for a reason.



Anyway, I auctioned off a dirty old, used baseball on Ebay. My auction attracted the attention of over 220,000 people and I ended up selling the ball for $1125.00! And, best of all, I received emails from thousands of people telling me that I should write a book about parenting. At first, I thought to myself - now how am I going to find the time to write a book? I barely have time to write a check to the grocery store to cover the cost of the damage my kids did on our last shopping trip! I also wondered if I could think of enough things about which to write. And really, I'm the last person on earth who should write a book about parenting, unless it's a book on what NOT to do.


So, instead of writing a book, I decided to find a couple minutes a day to blog. Oh yes, and the fear that I wouldn’t be able to think of enough things about which to write? Well, I don’t think I’ll ever run out of ideas as my kids happily provide me with fresh, new material every day.
I think an appropriate way to start off this blog is with a copy of that fateful Ebay listing, I hope you enjoy it!

The Ball That Started it All

I'm selling the baseball that started my wonderful first day of spring break. Do you want to know why I'm selling the baseball that started off my wonderful first day of spring break? Only because Ebay won't let me sell my kids who were playing with the baseball that started my wonderful day. Is spring break over yet?! Here's the whole story...

First, my boys (10 year old and 6 year old) decided it would be a good idea to play baseball in their room instead of getting up and watching tv like normal kids. Well, let me tell you, it is NEVER a good thing to awake to the sound of crashing glass. Thankfully, it was just their light and not the window this time. So, I go to clean up the glass in the boys' room when I hear those delightful words, "Mooooooom, Lexi tried to flush her pull-up in the toilet and water's EVERYWHERE!"

Grrr, ok, the broken glass gets put on hold while I get the mop for the bathroom and try to dislodge the soggy diaper that's stopping up the toilet. Let me tell you - this is not fun stuff when you haven't even had your coffee yet! Before I can clean up the waterlogged bathroom, the baby starts crying. Sooo, I leave the bathroom mess to grab the baby and change his diaper. The diaper pail is full, so I pull the bag of dirty diapers out and start for the door so I can dump them outside before the toxic smell kills us all. Do I make it outside? Noooo, of course not. I get side tracked by my 3 year old who is finger painting on the TV with yogurt.
Lovely. Let's recap - Broken glass in the boys' room, Flooded toilet, Smelly diapers, Yogurt covered TV, and it's only 9:00.

OK, I put the baby in his highchair, toss him some Cheerios, throw the diapers outside, grab the glass cleaner and get to work on the TV all the while yelling at my 6 year old to get dressed. Does he get dressed? Nooooo. Instead, he takes out my 10 year old's hermit crab to "play with it". He gets scared and drops the poor crab who scurries away into the pile of clothes and toys and STUFF that permanently covers the floor of the boys' room. Will the fun never end? So, I start searching among all the stuff and broken glass for the crab.

In the meantime, my 3 year old takes out the maple syrup and pours it on the tray of the highchair. By the time I find the crab and return him to the relative safety of his tank, the baby is glued to the highchair with maple syrup. It's covering his jammies, his hands, his hair, and the curtains that he's able to reach from his chair. Lucky me. Before throwing the baby in the tub, I take down the curtains and start a load of laundry.

So I put a movie on for my 3 and my 6 year old (aka partners in crime). Ahhhh peace. I bathe the baby and get him dressed, but before I can play one game of Peek-A-Boo with him, I hear the little ones fighting over a crayon. I put the baby in the play pen and break up The Great Crayon Battle. Then I notice that there were casualties in The Great Crayon Battle. Namely my leather chair and the wall in the living room. At this point, the broken glass and flooded bathroom are all but forgotten as I work on scrubbing crayon off the wall. There has GOT to be a boot camp for toddlers somewhere!

The baby picks this day to learn a new trick. It's called, 'Hey I can escape from the play pen!' I have no idea how he managed to pull himself out of that thing, but he did. Want to know how I know he escaped? Because I heard the 3 year old shouting from the kitchen, "Moooooom, the baby is eating Puppy Chow!" I drop my cleaning sponge and run to the kitchen to find my baby sitting in a pool of water from the dog's dish, and happily munching away on dog food. Oh well. At least I won't have to feed him lunch.

I manage to change him. Again. I confiscate the older kids' Gameboys and put them to work making lunch for everyone. It's noon by now and I haven't showered, or finished the laundry, or washed the dishes from breakfast, or mopped up the bathroom, or cleaned up the broken glass, or scrubbed the crayon off the wall, or hung the curtains back up. But, on the bright side, there haven't been any broken bones or a need for stitches, so all in all, it's a good day.

After lunch, I banish 4 of the kids outside and lay the baby down for a nap. I clean up the peanut butter and Kool-Aid mess in the kitchen from where my oldest kids made lunch. Ahhh peace and quiet at last. I bake a birthday cake for my sister while the kids are playing nicely outside. Then I think to myself - 'They're playing nicely??? Wait a minute. They must be up to something!' Sure enough, the 3 year old is throwing globs of wet sand against the house and the 10 year old is trying to tie a rope to the chimney so he can repel down the side of the garage. WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???!

While the cake is cooling inside, I help my kids clean up outside and play catch with them for a while. I don't happen to notice that the 3 and the 6 year olds disappear inside at some point. When I go inside to check on them and see if the baby is still sleeping, I see that the partners in crime have gotten into my cake decorating box and have painted themselves with black icing color! AARRRGGGHHH!!! I throw my little black-faced children in the tub and attempt to clean up the trail of black color on my kitchen table and the walls. While goofing off in the bathtub, they manage to knock a hole in the wall! That's right - A HOLE! We knew the wall was getting a little spongy, but having 5 kids tends to drain you financially and we just hadn't been able to do any remodeling. Sooo, now we have a hole in the wall which just lends to overall ambience of our "oh so classy" home.

This is about the time I start thinking that rum would be a good way to end the day. Oh yes, to top it off, my husband comes home and asks, "So, what did you do today?" GRRRR!
So, up for sale is the baseball that broke the light and started off my wonderful first day of spring break. I'd like to say that this is just one isolated day of insanity, but unfortunately this is pretty much my life. And yes, I actually did stop in the middle of the chaos to take pictures because everyone tells me that one day I'll look back fondly and laugh. (I have my doubts about this theory.)

PS - If anyone knows Super Nanny, send her my way!!!