Friday, December 18, 2020

The Official Stocking Stuffer of 2020

“This post brought to you by Air Wick, all thoughts & opinions are my own”

For Thanksgiving a few years ago, all six kids and I loaded up my minivan and Savannah's car and we headed over the (Ohio) river and through the woods Indiana windmill farms to grandmother's house (or rather a hotel near grandmother's house because really, we are a big noisy bunch and when I moved out many years ago, my parents locked the door behind me and hired a bouncer to keep me out.) But really, there were a bunch of us and everyone thought it might be better if we stayed in a hotel. At the time, my ex worked for a hotel and was able to get us rooms. A lot of rooms. Savannah had a room, Austin and Codi had a room, Jackson and Clayton had a room, Lexi and Brooklyn had a room, and I had a room.

Whenever we go home to Chicago, we have a list of places we absolutely must visit. This list is mainly restaurants. Lou Malnati's, Rosati's, Portillo's, and Jarosch top everyone's list. But one place that's only on my kids' lists is White Castle. I personally think the only reason to eat at White Castle is because you're 21, partied a bit too much, it's 3:00am, and it's the only place open. Ahem. But my kids love those little sliders.


When your kids get not one, but two cases of burgers filled with grilled onions, something diabolical happens to their digestive systems.

So after that little pit stop, we arrive at the hotel. Savannah tosses her suitcase in her room and takes off to meet friends. As we unpack the car and settle in, one by one, the kids start announcing the inevitable. "I have to poop."

(Side note: did you know that I mention "poop" in 80 blog posts? EIGHTY! I actually searched. This is what happens when you have kids. Poop happens! A lot!)

So, the litany of "I have to poop" starts. My response, as always, is, "So go. And you don't need to announce it."

"But I don't want to stink up the hotel room."

"Maybe you should've considered that before getting 60 cheeseburgers."

"I know! I'll use Savannah's room!"

My son grabbed the spare key for Savannah's room and took off for her bathroom.

This is how the visit went. Anytime someone needed to poop, they used Savannah's bathroom because she was out with friends more than she was in the hotel. 

No problem. Until Savannah got back and realized she had no toilet paper, on top of the fact that her room smelled like the elephant habitat at Brookfield Zoo. She was not happy.

To this day, when one of the kids has to poop, they sometimes announce, "I need to go to Savannah's room," despite the fact that Savannah hasn't lived with us for 4 1/2 years. I bet Savannah's thrilled that "Savannah's room" is code for the bathroom.

But Air Wick has a product that will make life SO MUCH SWEETER especially when you're staying in a little hotel room or as a guest in someone's house! Or on an airplane or a train! Or at work! Or at your own home. Okay, basically everywhere! It's V.I.P Pre-Poop Spray. The spray is scented with spectacular smelling essential oils like lavender, lemon, and rose. It comes in a little bottle so it's easy to toss in your purse, spray before you ‘go’, and voilà, smelly odor embarrassment syndrome avoided. And each little bottle packs 100 uses of impressive stink-banishing power!

V.I.P spray now resides in both of my bathrooms. My kids like to decipher the acronym, V.I.P. Very Important Pooper, Very Intense Poop, that poop made a Very Interesting Plop, Virulently Insalubrious Poop . . . . Hey, it's the pandemic; I don't judge their entertainment these days.

Here's a pro-tip from me to you: You need this V.I.P. spray for the holidays, especially if you're going to visit family, or if you're having family over. I know most of us are avoiding gatherings this year, but the people you live with/your immediate family will thank you for supplying your bathrooms with this spray also! Just add it to your Walmart grocery pick-up order (which may be the greatest invention ever) and you're set! Bonus pro-tip:  You want to permanently ban White Castle and chili dogs from any and all road trips henceforth. Trust me on this.


I've dubbed this Air Wick V.I.P. spray the elf-approved, official stocking stuffer of 2020 because somehow poop and 2020 go hand-in-hand, don'tcha think?


31 comments:

Lisa Noel said...

Yes 2020 is absolutely the year of poop

Meeshspieces said...

2020-Poop Happens!

Unknown said...

I'm going to have to find some of this!!

Linda said...

Love it!

Stacy said...

Someone gave me a bottle of this stuff a couple of weeks ago. I wasn’t sure if it was a needed thing or not. But now that I’ve used it, I make sure everyone knows it’s there & to use it too!!

CreativeJuices said...

With preteen boys in my house, I so need this spray!

Unknown said...

Pooptastic!

onthegomom said...

2020. The year of poop. Lol

DeeAnne said...

hahahahaha

janes27 said...

Ohhhh we need this product at my house! RV living is tough enough, but add a tiny bathroom ewwww!

FrauKatz said...

My mother has started to use my house as a convenient, uh, potty break on her daily walks. So what I want to say is: I NEED THIS! SO MUCH!

(Have a nice christmas. Stay safe. ♥)

MamaB said...

Nice post to end the year

Unknown said...

I need this for my husband!!! He’s a poop-agility!!!

Unknown said...

I need this!!! My husband is a poop-abolishing!!!!

Nancy said...

I have 4 boys in my house! I so need this!

Amanda; said...

Gonna keep my eye out for this next time I’m at the store 👀

Amanda; said...

Adding it to my grocery list right now lol

Martha said...

Hilarious, as always! Thanks for the laughs.

Jennifer said...

I will definitely look for this for the guest bathroom/ Savannah’s room lol! Bless her heart ❤️

darcee hejda said...

I mean “Everyone Poops” so everyone need VIP..

My Studio 13 by Carrie said...

Poop happens and that spray is the bomb!!!! Hilarious as always!!

Unknown said...

Wow -- what a wonderful product -- we NEED it here for sure -- great blog!!

Debbie Roth said...

Love your blog and descriptions of families we can all totally relate to! Never heard of VIP...Will definitely have to check it out.

Lori Mastriacovo said...

funny read, as always!

Lori Mastriacovo said...

amusing read, as always!

Heather said...

2020 is a swear word in my dictionary. It works in so many instances.

What the 2020?
2020 Happens
2020 Off
You’re a 2020

You get the idea...

northernmommie said...

This product has saved me many close calls. This post reminded me I am almost out 😣

Felicia said...

The year of poop! I love the spray and even use it when I don’t poop

HollyS said...

"Savanah's room" 😂 love it!

Unknown said...

That's hilarious!! Poor Savannah.

Isolet Jansen said...

So glad you a writing again... may be I wasn't looking?
We have airwick in South Africa, but not sure if that particular priduct is out our way. I definitely need that for my teens!

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