Thursday, August 19, 2010

Something You Never Want to Hear

Yesterday, I called my regular doctor to make an appointment because Doogie told me to follow-up with my primary doc in 48 hours. The nurse took a message and called me back a couple hours later. "The doctor doesn't want to see you until the week after next. The diverticulitis will take some time to heal and there's nothing he can do now."

"Okay. Um, am I supposed to stay on a clear liquid diet for another two weeks? Because I don't think I can get by on a couple 10 calorie Jello cups a day for the next two weeks. And these antibiotics are making me feel like crap. I'm dizzy and nauseous all day long." I'd take four times the pain to get rid of this debilitating nausea. Seriously, I can handle pain. I can't take this dizzy puking feeling though.

She told me that I had to let my intestines heal and had to stay on a clear liquid diet. I lost it and started crying and begging. I offered her $100 if she'd let me have a piece of bread. My whining broke her down and she finally relented and said I could add some soft, plain, bland, easily-digestible foods when my pain subsides.

Then she continued with, "The doctor isn't too concerned about the diverticulitis. That will get better. Did they tell you in the ER that the CT scan showed a large mass on your ovary?"

"MeanNurseWhoWon'tLetMeEatSayWhat?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Yes. The doctor is much more concerned with that. You need to make an appointment with your gyno right away. This week if at all possible."

I was floored. That's not something you ever want to hear - found a large mass. It wasn't just the news that floored me, but the fact that they never even mentioned it in the ER! What the heck?!

That may be the scariest thing I've ever been told. After I broke down crying, I pulled myself together and thought how cool it was that I got the diverticulitis in the first place or I never would've had a CT scan and wouldn't even know about the mass. Okay, so maybe I didn't really think it was cool, but it is pretty awesome how things happen sometimes, ya know? The first sentence in my book Because I Said So is "I believe things happen for a reason."

I've been strangely at peace about the whole thing. I know that worrying does nothing to help any situation. It will either be nothing serious at all or it'll be something unthinkable. But either way, me freaking out about it and being scared won't change anything. And besides, I've got God and family and friends (both in real life and virtual) who are right beside me.

So, I have an appointment tomorrow morning. I can't even drive myself there because the dizziness and nausea are really that bad. I hope I don't throw up on my doctor.

72 comments:

Tamara said...

Wow!! I can't believe they didn't tell you at the ER. Maybe that's why he was so insistent you call your family doctor though.

I hope it turns out to be nothing. I will be thinking of you and your family.

Garima said...

Hugs... Yes, stay calm.. and have faith. Crossing my fingers that your appointment goes off well!

Robin said...

You've been in my thoughts all day. I've checked your blog MANY times today hoping for an update so I'm glad you finally gave us one. Praying you hear something positive at the dr. tomorrow. And I'm so sorry you're feeling so sick with the meds!

DarcsFalcon said...

Keeping you in my prayers. *hugs*

Jennifer said...

Love to you, Dawn. You are strong and you can tackle whatever lies before you, like you always have. It's nothing! I just know it! Love to you, always.

Lisa said...

Praying for you, but knowing that you will be fine. Hang in there. Good luck tomorrow.

V1nce said...

What the kelp are wrong with doctors these days?!

Well, yeah be glad you got the diverstriverwhosgonnawhatsis so that you now know about what they really found. Me, I'd think good thoughts because usually it's non you-know-what and at worst they remove the ovary and well, from your blog I think you've made it very clear you're done using them :-)

Running now

Tawny said...

Prayers from MN...

zig said...

hugs((())) praying that everything will ok.

i know someone with a similar story, he had a heart attack. when he was in the hospital they found out that he had stage 1 cancer and they were able to catch it in time.

Sharon said...

Oh my gosh DAWN! Sending prayers and hugs your way. Keep us posted please.

Cheri-Beri said...

Oh sweetheart. I got the same thing at my first mammogram in April. To make a very long (and scary) story short . . . after 2 mammograms, an ultrasound and a needle biopsy it was nothing. Literally nothing. The nurse who gave me the results said I was actually blessed because the dense tissue would keep my breast perky my whole life. Nice, but what about the other one??? LOL

If it's any comfort, my aunts have had many, many ovarian fibroid issues over the years. I always thought I'd get it, too, but apparently mine traveled north. Praying that it's just as big of a nothing as mine was.

Donna said...

Just wish I was there to give you a big hug ! I can't believe that nurse telling you that either.
I think you need to send that hospital a letter after all this is over.

Long time ago my mom fell and broke her hip. While she was in the hospital she noticed a lump on her breast...yep, it was cancer.
They operated and took the one breast off and she lived another 33yrs cancer free. It might not ever have been discovered if she hadn't fell.

Hang in there Dawn....special prayers going out for you ! Today and Always !!!!!

Hugs, Donna from Indiana

Donna said...

That sort of thing scares anybody. I once had to have a breast biopsy because a mammogram showed that "there's something in there". Then a doctor said, "Oh, I'd say there's only a 50% chance it's cancer."
It was the longest two weeks of my life. Oh, and it wasn't cancer.

SandyAnnDee said...

You are in my prayers.

kr said...

My fingers are crossed for you, I hope it all turns out well. Hugs

Jennie said...

Just hang in there, Dawn. I had a mass on my right ovary (2.5 cm) when I was 23. It turned out to be a hemarrhagic (sp?) cyst, totally benign. Hopefully, yours will be as simple as that!

Lyndsay said...

I will have my fingers crossed for you tomorrow. I hope everything turns out just fine.

Jen said...

(hugs) You will get through this. You have all of us and then some to help you. We're praying for you sweetie. I've been there, too.. on so many levels.

I know you know this already, but it's nice to see it, right? :)

I could go on, but I won't. Thinking of you guys... Let us know how it goes tomorrow. And, don't worry. I know you won't. (hug) <3

lovinsanta said...

Same thing happened to me. Went to the ER with a kidney stone so they did the CT to see where it was, and the dr didn't say anything else. Get a call from my family dr saying "did the ER dr mention they saw something on the CT." Ummmm....nope! In the end it wasn't anything but still.

Good luck and hope everything turns out just fine.

Julia med Sanna said...

I'm thinking about you all the time. Good luck tomorrow.

Lots of love
Julia in Sweden

Mandy said...

I just wanted to tell you that from your first post I thought to myself "Self- those are the exact things I felt when I had a cyst on my ovary!" So, that is what the mass could be. It hurts like hell! Mine was the size of a grapefruit. Once it pops, or in my case surgically removed, you will feel 120% better! Good luck!!!

hrunars said...

WHUUUT!!!

All fingers and toes and everything in close vicinity crossed for you! Let it be nothing...

rmslil said...

I ended up in the ER three years ago with awful pain. Had to have the pelvic exam Woohoo, gotta love them. Also had to have a CT where a large mass was discovered on my ovary. I was admitted for 3 days awaiting exploratory surgery. Sent me home for the weekend to come back on Monday for surgery, my insistence. Had every test run in the books while in hospital. Was told I had cancer, didnt have cancer, had cancer, need a hysterectomy, dont need one.I was only 34 and never had kids. On the day of surgery another whole team was on call because my gyn/ oncologists was so sure it was cancer and expecting to do a hysterectomy. Woke up, no hysterectomy and no cancer but lost one filopian tube. The mass was the filopian tube that was full of fluid, non-cancerous but it was the size of half a football lenghtwise. In the mean time they did find pre-cancer in the uterus. I took some pill therapy and am fine now but have to be checked every year.
This long story to tell you that I am praying for you. I have been down that road with all the worry. Let the worry go and Let God take control.
Praying the other ickies go away from the diverticulitis.

letterstomygirls said...

Pretty much what everyone else said, but let me add one, seemingly goofy thing: Eat lots of yogurt. I know--sounds totally stupid when you have a mass on your ovary. Here's the thing - the drugs that knock out the diverticulitis also knock out all the good bacteria in your bowels. That, coupled with the fact that you're stressed and your resistance is down, can lead to other infections. Keep up on the yogurt or take a probiotic while you're doctoring. Sending health and peace your way.

Janice said...

Dawn don't worry unnecessarily. Most likely it's a cyst. They can get quite huge but they aren't a big issue. I had one a few years ago and they just removed my ovary but often they'll just remove the cyst.

deza said...

Watch what you eat with the diverticulitis. You should be able to find "safe" food lists with a websearch. I know cucumbers really do a job on my mom, but she insists on eating them anyways. We make quite a pair; between her diverticulitis and my gluten issues, it's hard to find any one place we can both eat!

Masses really can scare the srap outta you, can't they? I've had breast cancer once, and about three really good scares in the 20 years since. Poking and prodding and flattening and biopsies suck, but it's always a relief to hear it's nothing. I hope you get that feeling of relief very soon.

Tricia Freeman said...

Ok, I'm so nervous for you and will be thinking of you in the morning. But looking at the comical side of things. Do you have your monologue already to go when you get back up in the stir-ups?? Do you have some good jokes? Maybe you can use the same ones except if your dr. reads your blog then it would all be a rerun. Good luck ;-}

amybf19 said...

Dawn, you are a remarkable woman. If I were your friend in real life, I would offer any and all help I had to give to you. I wish I could help you in some small way! Thank you for again sharing something that is brutally honest about your life. Hang in there, and huge hugs to you. I hope you are pain free and better yet nausea free and not dizzy SOON!!!

Sarah said...

Hope & pray all will be fine. You have the right attitude, though. Hang in there! :)

Holly Aytes said...

Dawn, praying that all goes well in the morning. It is funny how some "illness" bring out other things you don't know about. My dad hit his hand pretty hard a couple of weeks ago on the bed post and after dealing with the pain for a few days he decided to go to the dr where they found out his hand wasn't broken but he had a sore on his hand that they didn't like the way it looked....sent him to a dermatologist and it turned out to be a skin cancer! He wouldn't have gone to the dr for the sore...didn't think it was any big deal. A little surgery and they got it all and he is good to go! Praying you get a good report.

Donna said...

Having had four experiences almost exactly like this, you have my sympathy!
Mine all turned out to be ovarian cysts with no underlying nasties and here's hoping yours is the same.
Sending thoughts and prayers to you from all the way over in Western Australia.

Jing..xx said...

Hugz from Singapore!
Praying for you!

Angela K said...

I will be thinking only good things for you.

Ellie said...

You are a stronger woman than I. I know (like, you know, in my head and all lol) that it doesn't help to worry or cry or freak out. But I still do it. Praying for you.

Carrie M. said...

Once again you amaze me, Dawn! Your faith is inspiring. I've been dealing with some struggles of my own (financial) and try to tell myself not to worry, that God has my back. Its so difficult to do. Your words of faith are exactly what I needed. Thank you, once again for being my hero. Still praying for you!

Amanda said...

Our darn reproductive system causes us so much pain sometimes... and then what it ends up producing after 9 months is such a gift.

I most definitely will be thinking about you tomorrow morning and prayers will be said but I agree with the other poster.. you needn't worry about the news... you MUST worry about what you're going to say when in the stirrups again. ;-) ((hugs))

Lisa said...

Prayers that you start feeling better soon.

I recommend taking the antibiotic with probiotics yogurt (danactive or activia), or probiotics powder (culturelle). It has certainly helped my tummy handle Cipro!

Dorothy said...

Hi Dawn, I am praying for you and that the mass is nothing more than a cyst at the very worst case scenario! :) I also wanted to pass some info along about the diverticulitis. I don't have it, however, I have gastroparesis (stomach doesn't completely empty, which causes inflammation and terrible nausea). I did 3 months on chicken broth and clear liquids and lost 60 lbs. The weight loss was great... the nausea was the pits!! Anyway, while I was going through it, I was constantly on the lookout for things to help with nausea and something I came across was peach flavored aloe vera juice. Aloe vera by itself is pretty gross, but the peach flavored one was so good I could have drank a glass of it daily! As it was, I only took 2 ounces every morning. Aloe vera taken internally soothes inflammation on the inside much as it does when you apply it to a burn on your skin. This is the kind I took (much cheaper on this website! wish I'd known that long ago!!) http://www.herbwisdom.com/herb-aloe-vera.html If you like peach flavor you'll LOVE this stuff and I swear by it. I was told that once the gastroparesis eased up, that the inflammation could take up to 8-10 weeks to calm down. After I started the aloe vera juice, I would say it calmed down within 3-4 weeks. So, please give this a try and see if it will help. I have no affiliation with the company or the website, so I'm getting nothing out of telling you about it, other than I feel your pain and if I can help another with nausea, by golly, I will open my mouth! :) Hugs to you and best wishes for good health soon!

Kris Roach said...

I am going to be the eternal optimist here, but the old saying "God works in mysterious ways" comes to mind, as you eluded to the fact that the diverticulitis took you to the ER and got you the CT scan you otherwise would not have gotten, but also, it may be a blessing in disguise that you didn't know about the "large mass" the last few days, while you were already feeling horrible and it was one less thing on your mind. I am praying for a good report from your OB/GYN visit and that it will be a benign mass. These ovaries have served you well, as you have 6 amazing and awesome children, so if you need to lose them, it will still suck, but it won't be nearly as bad as a 20 something with no kids yet...ya know? Okay, hope I didn't irritate you with this comment. You are in my prayers...hope the others in your house are feeling better too...Kris

Dorothy said...

Oops, I sent you to the wrong site... that one has great info on aloe vera juice, but this is the site that you can buy it much cheaper than anywhere else. http://www.luckyvitamin.com/p-25596-natural-high-aloe-vera-juice-dietary-supplement-natural-peach-flavor-32-oz I bought mine at the local health food store and the darn stuff was $20 a bottle! I'm ordering more from this site. It's good for other things in the body too, but inflammation which causes nausea is my biggest prevention cause. :)

Carol said...

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!

Debbie @ Three Weddings said...

Praying that it's nothing to worry about. Hang in there.

beagle said...

Prayers and good thoughts to you! I hope it all turns out ok!

Mrs.Chattypants said...

Praying that all goes well for you tomorrow and that you begin to feel better soon. Hang in there. Hugs!!!

Amy said...

I absolutely love your glass is half full philosophy! It's just one of the reasons I love your blog! I truly believe everything happens for a reason, too. How many times can we look back afterwards and think "Aaaahhh, THAT'S why it worked the way it did!"??? So glad they found this and are right on top of things. I know your mind must have run through every scenario, but please know you have warm thoughts and prayers from me.

Diane said...

I don't know you but I understand the worry you are going through. I'll pray that it is nothing serious.
Keep Looking Up!
Diane

Linda said...

Dawn, I think you absolutely need to play the "I feel like puking" card in the doctor's office tomorrow morning. It will get you out of the waiting room much more quickly. In the meantime, I'm sending you prayers, hugs, and positive thoughts. Hang in there, sweetie!!

Kate said...

I am 2x cancer survivor...yes 2 totally different cancers...by the time I was 24! I have been through your situation more times then I can count. The whole "Ummmm...we see something, not sure what it is let's do lots of tests and make you wait for results" is definately not on my list of things I would wish on even my worst enemy. But the suprising part is that the waiting truely is the hardest part. You can't do anything you are just stuck in limbo. When results come you either sigh with relief or go into battle mode...either way you are doing something!!! I hope that your results come quickly and that they are the very best news possible.

Cheryl said...

My minister's wife suffered with diverticultis. The naturopathic doctor recommended fish oil to be taken daily. She has never had a "flare-up" since taking her advice.

Praying that your mass is a benign cyst

((hugs))

Denise ~ Paper Ponderings said...

I'm praying for you Dawn!!

Kim Williams said...

Dawn,

We will be praying that all goes well at the next doctor's appointment and you are soon on the mend. Have faith, and know that there are many people in the world who care about you!

Mayberry Mom said...

I'll be praying. Hopefully, it's just a benign cyst.

Similar story on how things happen. My mom's family has a history of abdominal aneurysms. 3 men in my mom's family have died from them. So, when my mom had extreme abdominal pain and went to the ER and they heard that history, they immediately did a CT scan. She had appendicitis. The weird thing is that the pain was NOT on her right side. Something about giving birth and organs shifting (can happen I guess!), her appendix was in the CENTER instead of on the right. So without her odd family history, appendicitis could have killed her!

Amber Narae said...

Praying for you Dawn!!! Keep us posted.

Anita M H said...

Praying for you, Dawn, both that you feel better soon, and that the other thing will turn out to not be serious at all.

Things really do happen for a reason, and I think it's a good sign that God is with you.

Aprile said...

I am very sorry to hear you are going through this.

Your story sounds very similar to mine. End of July I having severe pain in my right side. I tried to ignore it for a week. The family made me go to the doctor because they thought I had appendicitis. I was so sick I didn't eat for a week. Saw the doctor who sent me for a CAT Scan. Dr. calls me and tells me I have gallstones and I need to see a surgeon. I kinda scratched my head because my pain was lower not up in my ribcage but it hurt like hell and the need to rip my insides out made me see the surgeon.
I get to the surgeon and he tells me did your doctor tell you, you have cysts on your ovaries? I said umm no, no he didn't but that makes more sense than gallstones. He says oh you have those too but I am more concerned with the cysts you need to see a gyno. A week later saw the gyno and this morning I am going in to have the cyst and possibly my right ovary removed. Sounds almost exactly like what happened to me your story. I wish you luck. I will be honest and tell you I am happy to see this thing go today because it hurts!

anonsi said...

Yikes! I'm sorry to hear about the mass. Very scary. If it makes you feel even a tiny bit better, one of the symptoms of diverticulitis is weight loss. Not that you need that, judging by your recent pictures. Hang in there, Dawn.

Sheri said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Leah said...

Sending good...positive...healthy thoughts your way! Stay positve and visually see yourself healthy. When those negative feelings start entering your thoughts take a little time to think and do little things that make you feel better and more positive.

Lisa said...

Praying for it to be just nothing. Hope you feel better soon and you can eat real food soon.

Susan said...

Dawn, Lifting you up in prayer. You have such a positive attitude. I vote for chocolate pie! That's nice and soft.

pmerry said...

Here's hoping that the large mass was a shadow or some anomaly that happens all the time and turns out to be nothing.

Holly C. said...

Thinking of you, pretty lady!!!

sharalyns said...

((hugs))

Shawna S said...

When it rains it pours. Hang in there Dawn. You are in my prayers!

Kristine said...

Hugs Dawn! I too hope it's just a big cyst. Not that it would be much fun, but much better than those worse case scenarios running through your mind!

Caroline said...

Hi Dawn,

So much you are going through right now. It must seem overwhelming. Knowing that everything is always in divine perfection and order is not always helpful while it is going on. I am a long time reader/fan - just never post. Please let us know how you are doing and what the medical situation is.

Is there a post office box where we can send you cards? That is such a simple but uplifting thing - nice for you to receive and feel the love and support and we (the readers) feel like we can do something positive for you.

Much love and many healing angels coming your way.

Caroline

Beth in MI said...

I've been thinking about you since last night. Praying for only good news for you!

dark_chocolate said...

If it's not one thing, it's another, huh? Take a deep breath, I'm praying for you!

faithlessone said...

*hugs*

I'm praying for you, Dawn. Good luck!

Sherry said...

I know the feeling. 11 years ago this month I heard those words on the phone by my gyn. at 8:00am the day following a pelvic ultrasound. You have a mass on your bladder? Say what? I was scheduled immediately with a urologist who I went to see alone, thinking they'd schedule a biopsy. Instead he did a scope there in the office and said, "It's definitely malignant." That was hard and waiting for more tests to show it hadn't spread was the hardest. He called me at home one evening to give me the good news. I was blessed that it was removed with non-invasive surgery and did not recur, even with a 75% recurrence rate for that kind. And, I was only 32. Not in the risk group for bladder cancer. Anyway, I am thankful that yours is benign and hope that they have come up with new anesthesia that you haven't tried yet... tell them it never worked before so maybe they'll try something else for the nausea.

Sherry

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Oh my God! I can't believe that nurse freaking told you that over the phone!! Ok I'm behind so going to see if you posted after you went in!

mandmthomas said...

I firmly believe as you do that things happen for a reason. I went to the doctor last October for a swelling under my arm. They send me for a CT which then found swollen lymph nodes in my chest - Stage 2 Hodgkin's. I am in remission and am stronger for having gone through it!

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