Thursday, July 8, 2010

Jimmy Couldn't Jump At All Before He Got These Shoes

Awhile back, Savannah made a comment about wanting to get in shape. Of course, I want my kids to have healthy body images (even if I don't so much), so I assured her that she wasn't fat in any way, but at the same time, told her that if she wanted to exercise or get in better shape, that it would be fine and I'd be happy to join her for an evening power walk. I still feel bad that she missed out on softball season and really hasn't been able to exercise since May. But now that she has the go-ahead to officially ditch her crutches, I thought walking would be a good idea.

So, for a few weeks, we've been walking together. The first time we went out, we each used an ear bud and listened to her iPod. It was a bonding experience. I like her music and she likes mine. It's all good. But we haven't shared an iPod since that first evening. Not because we can't agree on music. Nope. It's because Savannah's idea of walking is running much faster than mine. Seriously, she walked the mile to the store and then turned around and headed back home. She met up with me like 2 blocks from the house. "Is this as far as you've gotten?" she asked incredulously.

"Who me? No. Noooo. Oh heck no! No, I ah, passed you on the way there. Didn't you see me? No? I um, took a different route. Yeah, I uh, met up with a friend and stopped to talk. Um, stopped to tie my shoe? Oh okay, YES! Fine! This is as far as I've gotten! You have longer legs than I do! I'm old! I'm out of shape! I've had six kids! In fact, I gained 35 pounds with you alone! So, I think it's technically your fault I can't keep up!" I shouted to the wind because Savannah had long since jogged home, taken a shower, made a snack, and was presently watching iCarly.

Anyway, in an effort to maximize my walk, I bought those Skecher Shape-Up shoes. A bunch of my friends were talking about how awesome these were, so I thought I'd give them a try. Actually, the reason I bought them was because I'd been walking in my sandals and I think I had tripped at least twice during every walk. I knew it was only a matter of time before my face met the sidewalk up close and personal and I didn't want to have to explain to anyone why my nose was smashed in. That would be embarrassing and I'd have to make up a story about how I thwarted a would-be attacker or something like that, but knowing my kids, they'd spill the beans and blurt out the truth as I was telling my heroic tale and then I'd look like even more of a fool. See? I think these things through!

So, since I didn't own any tennis shoes, I decided to give these a try. The booklet that came with the shoes claims:

3 Reasons you NEED Shape-Ups

1. Stronger You - Shape-Ups are designed to help you tone your muscles - from your back and abdomen to your buttocks and calves.

2. Healthier You - Shape-Ups will help you lose weight and improve your circulation, creating a healthier you.

3. Easy Exercise Routine - It's easy to shape up with Shape-Ups. Wear your Shape-Ups everywhere and anywhere you walk (or stand), and your body will feel the benefits.

That's awesome! I thought. So, I set the box down on the floor by my bed and went about my day, knowing I was going to lose weight and look like a super-model overnight. After a week, I weighed myself. I hadn't lost a pound. Apparently you have to put the shoes on and actually work out while wearing them.

So I wore them during my walk tonight. I learned a couple things while walking.

1. It wasn't my sandals making me trip. Apparently I just do that.

2. These shoes make it feel like you're walking in sand. Have you ever walked through sand? It's hard! Why would you do it on purpose???

3. I have Matthew Wilder's Break My Stride on my iPod! Who knew?

4. These shoes make you look taller not because they improve your posture, but because they have a 20 inch heel.

5. I'm pretty sure these shoes made me walk like Kramer with his plyometric training shoes from Jimmy.

6. I'm going to keep wearing them anyway because I'm sure super-model butt muscles are just around the corner!

7. Oh yeah, and Savannah will no longer walk with me. I was demoted to "dork".

30 comments:

WeaselMomma said...

What's lower than dork? You now, just so I know how far I have to fall.

I love my shape-ups.

HT said...

What a funny post! I need to get me some of them shoes. I'm a new follower!

Bailey's Leaf said...

No offense, but if they didn't look so bad, I might try them. Believe me, at only a little over 5', I can use the heightening. I just can't stand the look!

Good for you for walking!

Donna said...

Sitting here this morning in some weird mood and read this and laughed and laughed.
You can always cheer me up !!!

My daughter bought those kind of shoes too and I tried them on but felt like I was going to tip over.
LOL. Do yours feel like that too ?

Keep wearing them as you will get used to them. And after a few months write us your own review. :)
My daughter loves her's.

Thanks again for making me laugh.
Donna from Indiana

Anonymous said...

Umm, you did read that you should only wear them a couple of hours a day until you get used to them right? You will be SORE if you dont.

Tammy said...

Aww - I would walk with you, and you would look like a tri-athlete next to me! ;0)

Carrie M. said...

ROFL! Thats funny! I've always wanted a pair of those shoes...keep us posted to tell us if they really work. Am considering buying them for my 39(UGH) birthday.

Jodi said...

I tried those shoes in the store and immediately thought, "These shoes are awful!" I thought it was just me until my daughter put on a pair and agreed. Remember Earth Shoes? That's what they felt like to me. Don't give up walking!

Robin said...

We the People would like before and after shots of your derriere. :) Actually I just wanted to see how brave you are....brave enough to post pics of your butt?!?! LOL!

SandyAnnDee said...

Generally when I trip, it's because a child decided that jumping directly in my path was a great idea. but I've been know to trip over perfectly flat surfaces as well.
hmmm..If the shoes make you feel as though you are walking in sand, can you just pretend that you are strolling along the beach? I think that I need to try that.

Cinderella (aka Kristin) said...

I have to tell you this, because I think you will find it funny. You have kids and it sounds like your boys and my boys would get along pretty good.

A couple months ago, my kids were all hanging out in the living room, arguing or playing, I don't remember. I just remember that my 16 year old daughter called my 7 year old son a "dork" and his candid automatic response was "a dork is a shark's penis."

Did you know that? That we've been calling each other and our children a shark's penis all these years? I googled it and yes, yes, it's the correct terminology.

So now, I just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh...okay, it's probably not that funny, but something tells me you'll appreciate this humor.

Anonymous said...

The tv had a blurb about these shoes the other night-- the guy said that they will not make a difference on how you look- the actual walking/exercising will do that. The price on these shoes is crazy--

Anonymous said...

Just an FYI. Not sure if the same is true with the Sketchers but my sister-in-law had the Reeboks similar to these and she now has to have foot surgery! Apparently this is a big problem for a lot of people who wear shoes like these. You may want to check into it a little before getting a lot of use out of them and then needing surgery!

Deelyn said...

You know...I've never really read comments before, figured they were yours and I didn't really have much right to. But I thought I'd just scan through these and now I can see why you have some snarky comments on Sundays. You really can't even buy a pair of shoes without someone telling you what a big mistake you made. Not only are they expensive and worthless, but you're going to need foot surgery too. Wow, I'm feeling really sorry for you right now!

I say, great job on getting out and exercising (I've just started too) and since you needed shoes anyway, why not these?! If you do get super-model butt muscles, let me know, cause I want some too!

Charlie said...

Hilarious!!!

Que said...

... dork. :)

Que said...

WoW! This really was a great post. *Ahem* I mean, not that I'm surprised. But I did laugh out loud a few times. (And not that stupid little lol. I'm talking the big LOL kinda laugh.)

Anyway, good stuff. And nice shoes.

Spuds said...

Hey! You guys can't call her a dork! You tell 'em, Dork... I mean DAWN! Good to be back!

HRH Mommy said...

Ha funny!!

You could always walk to the nearest Starbucks (unless that's next door), treat yourself to a treat and walk back. Oh wait, that would defeat the purpose of trying to lose weight. Oh well, order the skim milk, low sugar, whatever version. At least you'll enjoy your walk.

Anonymous said...

"I'm doin' the best I can!!!!" ;o)

Donna in PA :)

Making It Work Mom said...

I can relate! My 10 year old daughter is in so much better shape than I ever was. It is awful. We took a family Kickboxing Class together and it wasn't pretty. She skipped out the door after the class and I had to crawl out. She wanted to know what was wrong? At least you are making an effort, though! The Shape-ups I have mixed feelings about, but at least you are a dork who is exercising!

Anonymous said...

I have a pair that I wear to work. I LOVE them, I grew up walking on the beach so it's not that big a deal to me to walk in them. I havent seen any down side to them other then the "look" of them lol. I can say my legs and thighs and rear look better than they have in YEARS and I have 3 kids.

ZippyChix4 said...

Thanks for my evening chuckle! I just happened upon your web site and find your writing hilarious. I recently had considered purchasing a pair of the sketchers....your sand comment basically sewed it up for me. When I go to the beach I walk on the road every morning for an hour and THEN go to the beach...no sand walking for me=no sketchers:)

missamandadear said...

Thanks for putting a smile on my face. :) I was happy to have stumbled upon your blog via google search engine. I recently started blogging and am excited to get connected with other bloggers.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn, I get my exercise dailey. I run to the frige and back to the couch during comercials. I don't think those shoes would help me :) Kristine in Michigan.

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Okay just found your blog and am laughing myself silly right now, because I JUST got these things last week. I will tell you one thing- I'm in relatively good shape and walk a lot... but after wearing these shoes for a short, light 30 minute walk in which I broke only a light sweat, my butt was sore in places I didn't know should be sore. Apparently there are muscles in there! Who knew? I also have blisters. That stinks. But I'm sore, so I'm wearing them because they are obviously working SOMETHING that needs to be worked.

Blessings,
Sasha

Anonymous said...

You got demoted to dork because of the shoes?

Meg said...

I've been contemplating getting those shoes, so I'm glad you tried them out for me. I have the Sketchers Tone-Ups (flip-flops) and they've become my favorite flip-flop - SUPER COMFY!!! I also feel my posture is better when I'm wearing my Tone-Ups and standing (I slouch when I sit on the couch w/ my laptop). They do look dork-ish, but if they work.... My daughter is more fit than I ever was (and I was a skinny outdoor-playing kid) - she has rock hard abs - it's really embarrassing. I'm not even sure I have abs below all the wiggle & jiggle. O well.
O - and I love that I've learned something knew from your comments (the definition of "dork") - who knew?

Anonymous said...

I have Skechers Shape-Ups and I love them! I don't care if they make me look like a dork (really? What does a "dork" look like?). I work daily, standing on cement floors, and they are like standing on marshmallows. I have a bad back, and they have really eased the stress and strain. I'm keepin' 'em. A co-worker says I only wear them because they make me taller. So? I'll take it!

Regina said...

I also love the FitFlops that I have. They have kind of a wobble board in the middle, to make you use your core muscles more. I didn't think I would like them, but I love them! I felt the burn in my butt and thighs within two days.
I also have MBT shoes that I bought a few years ago, that are like the Skechers but WAY more expensive, and I am wearing Earth Shoe sandals right now.

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