What makes a person stop their grocery cart in the middle of the aisle while they studiously read the label on a package of cocoa puffs as if they actually have a clue what trisodium phosphate is? Now, don't get me wrong. It's notsomuch the stopping the cart that bothers me. I mean, I've accidentally stopped the cart in the middle of the aisle a time or two myself. But here's the difference - I'm not completely oblivious to every other human on the planet! No matter how engrossed I am in comparing prices on mac-n-cheese, or discussing with my kids why it wouldn't be a good idea to drink a bottle of soy sauce while strolling down aisle two, I'm always aware of other people around me. If someone even starts to approach me, I will immediately pull my cart over to the side before the other individual even gets close enough to notice that my cart was blocking her.
I cannot, for the life of me, understand people who block the aisle, completely unaware that anyone else is in the store with them! These have to be the same people who drive under the speed limit and annoy the snot out of you when you're running late and you're stuck behind them. There is no reason, I repeat - NO REASON why anyone should EVER drive 25 mph in a 40 zone. Ever.
This whole "being oblivious to every other human on the planet" thing has really been bothering me so I've come up with a few points to help you if you're one of those oblivious people. If you're in fact a courteous person with manners and the ability to recognize you're not alone on this planet, then I suggest you print these tips out (perhaps on business cards) and keep them handy to pass out to the ignorant fools around you.
1. Do not leave your cart in the middle of the aisle! If you want to stop and look at something, pull your cart over to the side. If you're driving and you want to park, you don't just stop your car in the middle of the street, do you? No, you pull over! The same rules apply when shopping. And when someone says, "Excuse me", this is your cue TO MOVE!
2. Do not stand there in front of the refrigerated section blocking the doors to the cooler. While you're standing there, looking at your grocery list, people like me could be trying to get a package of stinkin' cheddar cheese so they could make some nachos to go with their margarita tonight! When someone says, "excuse me", this is your cue TO MOVE!
3. Pay attention when pushing your cart. Do not crash your cart into the ankles of unsuspecting shoppers. It hurts when carts are smashed into our ankles. We don't like it. One of these days, one of us is going to lose it and throw a can of creamed corn at your head for reducing our ankles to bloody stumps.
4. When looking for a greeting card, be aware of the people around you. I like to get lost reading funny Hallmark cards as much as the next person. But when someone is hovering around, just waiting to grab a card from where you're looking, move over a little! It won't kill you. (But I hear a greeting card strategically whipped at your face, can poke your eye and cause blindness. Just sayin'.)
5. If you get in line, pile all your groceries on the conveyor belt, then realize, Oops, I forgot to get Cheez Whiz, do not hold up the entire line to go back and get it. Pay for your stuff. Then, if it's something really important like chocolate or wine, go get it and get back in line to pay for it. If it's nonessential, go home and send someone else out to get it for you later.
6. Express Lanes have the word "express" in them for a reason. If you have enough groceries to feed the Duggars for a week, you do not belong in the express lane. Move!
7. After unloading your groceries onto the conveyor belt, move up! There is no reason why you should just stand there preventing the next person from unloading their groceries. Put a stinkin' order divider down and move!
I'm sorry, but I had to deal with an ignorant fool several times today and so I'm fed up with stupid people who don't use their brains. I hope this list comes in handy. If even one idiot is reformed, it will be worth it.
Sooo, what drives you crazy at the store?