Here are my top ten reasons why no human should ever go camping.
1. There are hotels.
2. 52, 398 mosquito bites
3. Have you ever tried occupying 10 kids while camping in a monsoon?
4. The campfire smell that doesn't ever come out of your hair
5. There are hotels.
6. Showering with the water pressure of someone spitting on you
7. Having to cook like the pioneers
8. Having to sleep in cramped quarters with family members who snore and/or fart all night long
9. Having to walk 18 miles to the bathroom
10. There are hotels!
OK, OK, so some of you have accused me of actually (gasp!) liking camping. I don't. I swear I don't. But, in all fairness, I do like to look at the glass as half-full, so here's my list of reasons why camping doesn't totally suck.
1. Sleeping in a small space together promotes family bonding.
2. It's inexpensive (until you factor in the movie tickets because it rained all weekend, the carpet extractor rental fee from when the kids flooded the camper, the prescription cost because your daughter had a terrible allergic reaction to peanut butter thanks to the stupid Meehans for not being more careful (SORRY EMMA!), and the bazillion quarters for the laundromat because towels left out in the rain do not dry - ever.
3. All the walking to the bathrooms helps you to work off the
4. Speaking of - s'mores
5. It's fun to laugh at your Eagle Scout husband who uses lighter fluid to get a fire going.
6. When the kids flood the camper, the carpet gets cleaned for the first time in 5 years. (THANKS JOE!)
7. With no TV or video games, it's fun to see the kids make up games like "Name Methods of Torture from A-Z"
8. When you eat outside, you don't have to worry about crumbs on the floor.
9. Sitting outside, seeing the stars (and quite possibly a UFO. The verdict is still out on that one.)
10. And finally, you get to see the kids do stuff like this... (Esther Williams, eat your heart out)
Actually, besides our friends' daughter, Emma, having a bad allergic reaction after coming in contact with peanut butter, Jackson scraping the skin off 2 toes, me breaking a toe, Jenny spraining her ankle, the never-ending thunderstorms, and the toilet overflowing and flooding the camper, it was a pretty good trip. (That kinda tells you how bad our trips usually are.)