Friday, August 29, 2008

Temper, Temper, Temper

After Wednesday's escapades, I decided to take the little ones to the library yesterday morning so they couldn't trash my house so they could play and learn. It was great! I dropped the older kids at school and drove straight on to the library where we played for an hour and a half. I picked up some books for the older kids so they can complain that I'm making them read. And I picked up a couple movies to entertain the little ones this afternoon. Anyone want to take bets on whether I'll manage to return them within a month or if I'll be financing a new addition to the library?

So, my kids had fun at the library. Brooklyn played with the kitchen set and brought me the same egg, bread, and watermelon 4000 times.

"Mom, here's your lunch."

"Oh thank you!"

"No Mommy. You have to eat it!"

"Oh ok. Mmmm yummy. What juicy watermelon! Ooo that's some tasty bread! You're a good baker!"

Happy that I'd "eaten" my lunch, she trotted back to the kitchen to put the plates back in the microwave. A few seconds later, she retrieved the plates and walked back to my table.

"Mom, here's your lunch."

"Oh thank you, honey."

"No Mommy! You have to eat it!"

"Oh ok. Mmmm yummy! This bread is delicious. Yummy eggs and watermelon! Thank you."

Beaming that I liked her meal, she made her way back to the kitchen to put the plates back in the microwave. A few seconds later, she retrieved the plates and walked back to my table.

Are you seeing a pattern here? FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF this went on. I must have "eaten" 17,000 calories yesterday morning.

When we left the library, Brooklyn insisted she stay at the drinking fountain forever at least 20 minutes. I indulged for a bit and then said, "OK, that's enough. We need to get home." At this point, she threw herself down on the floor crying. You know, because the poor dear hadn't had a drink in weeks and was simply dehydrated. I picked her up kicking and screaming and carried her out to the car where she continued her tantrum. She fought long and hard on getting buckled into her carseat, but of course I won. She screamed the entire way home without stopping to take a breath even once.

When we arrived at home, she cried and yelled even more when I tried to unbuckle her and take her out of the car. Although I was tempted to just leave her in the car for the rest of the afternoon, I took her out and put her in my room and closed the door. About 20 minutes later, she finally stopped.

Yesterday, she had a tantrum because she's stubborn and only wanted me to open the door for her when she came inside from playing in the water. I opened the door and told her to get her towel. She refused. I told her she could come inside when she calmed down and got her towel. She screamed harder so I walked away and let her cry. Austin took pity on her, picked her up, brought her inside and put her in the bathtub.

All was fine until I drained the tub and told her to get out. She threw another fit because she wanted to stay in the tub. She continued crying for another 15 minutes. When she finally settled down, I put a diaper and jammies on her. Then she threw the biggest fit of the day because I had the nerve, the sheer audacity, to put her pink pajamas on her. Apparently I failed to get the memo informing me that she would not, under any circumstances, wear her pink jammies. She pulled her jammies off and screamed and cried, tears streaming down her face, that she didn't want those jammies! I just walked away. About 15 minutes later, she cried herself to sleep.

None of my other kids were like this. Well, Austin was like this to a degree, but as far as I can remember, he never threw fits quite as often and long and intense. Savannah, Lex, and Jax never really went through a "terrible two" period. I mean, if I had told them "no", they didn't throw a fit. It was no big deal. With Clay, if he got a "no" from me, he didn't ever throw a fit either; he just looked at me as if to say, "Oh yeah? Well, I didn't want that anyway!" Then he'd just run off and get into some other kind of mischief.

I know this is a phase and if I can keep my sanity, she'll grow out of it eventually. But I'm pretty sure that if Brooklyn had been born first, she'd be an only child.

Oh and my foot? Well, the pain from the shot was gone yesterday. Now I'm just back to the level of pain I had before the shot. However, when I was picking the kids up from school yesterday, I got stung by a bee on the SAME FOOT! I was afraid my whole foot would blow up because the last time I got a bee sting on my thigh, my entire leg swelled up and turned red. The time before that, my arm had a pretty large area of swelling and redness too. This time thankfully, there was just a small red spot on my toe, however, about 10-15 minutes after I got stung, I started feeling dizzy. It got worse as the night went on. In fact, I'm still dizzy today. It stinks. I'd take some Benedryl, but I'm afraid I'd pass out and the kids would blow up the house. Come on bedtime!

65 comments:

Teresa said...

Oh...my...gosh. Your post about Brooklyn today sounds JUST like my daughter when she was 2. She is 5 now and has greatly improved (not to say that she doesn't still have her moments, but it's not as bad). But, she's our first born and it has taken us until NOW to decide that maybe we want another one (although on her bad days, I question our sanity in wanting to try for another). I can completely understand how you wouldn't have wanted anymore if Brooklyn had come first. :)

I hope things mellow out as Brooklyn gets a little older.

ll said...

i have a question and please don't take this as judgment on you as a parent, but do the other kids step in and give her what she wants when she throws a fit? i mean, i know kids will throw a tantrum. my kids were champs at it. but i'm wondering if your other kids are feeding it cuz when i walked away and told my kids i wasn't gonna talk to them until they started acting like humans, they got their shit together right quick. brooklyn seems to throw those fits EVERYWHERE. so i'm wondering if the other 5 give her what she wants when you're doing something else like laundry and it perpetuates her use of this tactic.

Sarah Rosales said...

I wish you well on your journey to figuring out how to stop the tantrums. We have small tantrums at our house. Good Luck.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

It's entirely possible that the cortisone shot was a pre-emptive strike for the sting. And what kind of shoes are you wearing that you end up with this stuff? Good grief, I'd think you would be wearing a wig by now from pulling out your hair.

Brooke said...

The good news is that she will surely grow out of her tantrums (well, kind of). My not-quite-six year old still has occassional tantrums, but much MUCH less often than when she was 2/3/4. For a couple of years, I could count on several tantrums a day... I have a 3 year old son, and he tantrums with the best of them too. My 13 month old is starting to tantrum, and my house is just so much fun when all three are screaming at once :)
On a side note, the baby just tried to eat a dead spider and I had to fish it out of her mouth. Bleh!

Brenda said...

Has Brooklyn seen in the videos of herself having a fit? Have you tried having the other kids show her how it looks? Sorry. That is all the weak goofy ideas I have. Thank goodness they out grow it.

Bloggin' Mama said...

Every time you write something about Brooklyn's tantrums I just nod in agreement. My second child who is 27 months throws the exact same types of fits that you describe OVER.NOTHING. He can go from happy toddler to screaming, throwing things, out of control in less than 1 second... We have a baby due in 2 weeks also! I know it's just a phase and he'll eventually get over it (I've already seen a little improvement since he's potty trained) but it's soooo draining. My 4 year old never would have dreamed of throwing fits like his.

All that to say you are definitely not alone and if you figure out a way to deal with/stop her tantrums you BETTER share it with the rest of us!

Anonymous said...

Dawn, you really should consider you might be allergic to bee stings, and your reaction will only get worse next time if you are.

You could try zyrtec, it lasts 24 hours and I don't get drowsy or tired. I just take it before bed most of the time, so if I did get drowsy, I wouldn't notice since I'm going to sleep anyway.

Feel better, from a caring, faitful reader...(((hugs)))

Erica M said...

Oh, I know that type! They sure are a handful!

Sounds like you're handling her well tho... not letting her see it bother you and not giving her the reaction she's looking for will eventually make her stop.

Hubby and I have been reading a book called Scream Free Parenting. It's AWESOME! Have you heard of/read it? It focuses more on the parents reactions to their children's actions than it does on the kids. Loving it!

Amy B. Fitzgibbon said...

OH Dawn, I am SO feeling your pain with Brooklyn's tantrums! I had the exact same thought process that my son NEVER tantrumed like my daughter at age two does! She really has been on a roll lately. I had started thinking very negatively about the tantrums and her behavior but then decided to *try* to look at her behavior positively-yeah right! I keep repeating, "She's only two this will pass". Then I worry that she is bi-polar because she is able to switch it on and off so quickly-except for those really long and intense tantrums! It is unbelievable what will set her off.... there really isn't a pattern to it other than... nope I can't even come up with any, not even lack of sleep, being hungry, over stimulated... she is just so much more emotional and feisty than my son ever was at that age. We joke that she will never require therapy because she lets all her feelings out, all over the place all the time. She never keeps it in that is for sure!
It does help in a small way to know that this phase she is in right now is developmentally normal and it really WILL pass. Plus it helps to know there are other moms out there doing "battle" with their two year old little girl too! Soldier on Dawn! Thanks for sharing about Brooklyn, I feel less insane now! :)

little.birdy said...

I don't have kids, but to me it sounds like you're handling her tantrums well. I can't imagine how annoying it must be. I'm sure that she will soon figure out that screaming does not get things done for her, and in fact just gets her ignored. Good luck!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a fairly new reader to your blog. I am a mom to 5 that range in age from 21 down to 5. I was just curious if you have ever had Brooklyn checked for hypoglycemia? My youngest has horrible episodes like you describe where nothinng seems to appease her and the tantrums are unbearable. One day during an episode I thought to check her sugar (my DH has hypogylcemic episodes) to see if it was low. Sure enough it was low and as soon as we got her some food, things settled back down to normal. I wish now that I had know this three years ago when these episodes started. Now I just make sure she has plenty of snacks during the day and that she eats a complete meal at dinner time. It has made a complete world of difference for her and we haven't had any episodes in a while. Sometimes those tantrums have underlying causes that we are not taught to consider. Do a little research on childhood hypogylcemia and/or adapt her eating schedule and see if things improve. Wishing you luck!

Ashley said...

You are so awesome. I can totally picture you buckling Savannah in, unbuckling her, putting the dreaded pink jammies on her, etc. while the child wails. Been there, done that. My son is 6 1/2 and still falls out. My daughter did it once, tried the "bang my head on the floor thing" and when she realized it hurt and got her nowhere she never did it again. Some kids are just more independent and want to test authority at every turn and then I think others just handle disappointment worse-wear their emotions on their sleeves so to speak. Keep up the good work pressing on while she presses your buttons! We moms must win!!

karen chambers said...

Hey Dawn,
If my first born had hit the "terrible twos" before I got pregnant again... she would have been an only child. I have blocked a lot from my memory but hubby assures me that there was a year straight that she cried everyday. I feel your pain (as best I can remember) with Brooklyn.
My oldest is now 18 and I am still excited about life.... it will get better for you too.
Hugs
Karen in Rockland Ontario

This Mom said...

OHH I have a kid like that though he is 3 almost 4. And it started later than yours. At 2 he wasa sweet yess mommy boy now he is a terror. Though we did have a new baby in December so I am sure that we created it. We are just going though the steps to get itunder control. Needlees to say he is spending ALOT of time in his room.

Roberta said...

Your little Brooklyn sounds just like my grandson. If it was fun once it's got to be fun 950 more times! Can you tell at this age if a kid has OCD? He's three years old and is Mr. Personality except for this OCD thing! : )

LadyK said...

lol, I just love your blog! I stepped on a Cicada killer last summer, barefoot, and I still remember the excrutiating pain. It was intense!

Today, I have nominated your BLOG for the Brillante Weblog Award! Please stop by my blog to pick up your award, and then post it here for all to see, CONGRATS!

Sharon said...

I don't want to frighten you, but, if you haven't already done so, I think you need to let your doctor know about your reaction to the bee sting. It is possible that you are developing an allergy and, if that is the case, the next sting could send you into anaphylactic shock.

Jill in Atlanta said...

My husband's theory of family planning is that you quit having children when you have That One.

Bug is mine; he'd have been an only if he'd come first. My mom said she wanted four kids but had me second. I guess I got what I deserved in Bug. I suspect Brooklyn is That One and will always be the youngest.

Michelle said...

Wow. We're SO not ever doing any playdates. You could have just described any one of my days with Little Miss, down to the pjs not being the right ones and her ripping them off. Let me know if you find any solutions!

Bummer on your foot -- especially with the bee sting! Does bee sting and cortisone possibly not go well together? Because, you know, you need more strife, right?

MPMommy said...

Hey - you could be allergic to bee stings. My sister used to step on bees with her barefeet all the time as a kid, and each time she did, her foot would swell more and more. The Dr finally gave her an epi-pen to carry around, should she get stung again. It would be especially dangerous if she were to get stung in the neck. So since you say your reaction to stings escalates each time, you may want to take (another) trip to the Dr for an Rx for an Epi-Pen, just to be on the safe side. Feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

My son just turned 2 last month....he has an older brother and sister who did throw their fair share of tantrums but not to the degree of his. We went to the mall today-shopping for school clothes....I wanted to at least get a little shopping done before my children started begging for the food court, the candy machines, or the endless drinking from the water fountains....which always results into at least 3 separate visits to the restroom. Well, I splurged and got the $5 double car stroller....he was just fine until we went into the store...see...he wanted to stay in the mall....he didn't get that we weren't there to do circles around the mall....he screamed...cried...yelled....managed to unbuckle himself from the stroller and jump out....crazy....we were at the mall for 2 hours...bought 3 shirts...better luck next time...I hope.

Jennifer in Oregon

Salil said...

Hi,
"Brooklyn had been born first, she'd be an only child."
That was a funny post, enjoyed every bit of it.
Keep going.
Cheers,
Salil

Anonymous said...

When my eldest son was two, he would throw himself on the floor and bang his head, screaming the whole time.
One day I just turned on my heel, got a pitcher of cold water, went back and dumped it on his head. Then I left the room. He gasped and shut up immediately. I waited a bit, and then returned to the room and acted as if nothing had happened. Soon he tried it again. I said nothing, but turned on my heel and headed back down the hall to the kitchen. As soon as I was out of the room there was silence. He tried again the next day, and I reacted the same way. By day three, he didn't throw any more tantrums when I was at home. (I don't know HOW he acted when someone else was keeping him.) Maybe it was just time for him to outgrow it. I don't THINK I scarred him for life, but I have wondered from time to time, so I can't in good conscience recommend this method. I think you will accomplish the same thing by doing what you are doing. Now that I am older, I understand that a tantruming child is frightened by the intensity of his own feelings, and sometimes really IS out of control. That scares him because he doesn't know how to get out of it by himself.

Bee stings = danger. An allergy can come on quickly, and if your throat closes up you are in big trouble. Tell your doctor.

Grandma Judy

AB said...

I do NOT miss those 2 year old tantrums!

Anonymous said...

Your Brooklyn sounds like my son when he was a toddler. He was so bad that my husband and I chose to not have anymore children. The good news is that my son is now grown, a college graduate, and a police officer!!! See, there is hope for Brooklyn!

Tmomma said...

I read tonights blog to my DH. We've got a full on terrible two year old; they're fun aren't they! Bedtime has become an entertaining battle but we decided if he really just wants to wear a diaper and socks to bed, hey, as long as the diaper is on it's all good. Thanks for the post, my DH loves hearing that we're not alone in this stage!

Amy said...

After reading about Brooklyn and the comments from other readers, I'm convinced my little 1-1/2 yr old is from the same mold. I sure pray I'm able to hold my ground with her the way you do with Brooklyn. Any tips?

nannyneedsanap said...

I am a nanny to twin three year olds. One sounds just like Brooklyn. He can throw a tantrum over the smallest thing. His twin brother is as mellow as can be, and has probably had one tantrum in his life. This prooves to me that some kids are just strong willed, and some are not. You can't help what's in their genes, and I think a lot of people with (easy) kids don't understand that.

Tina said...

I have a 3 year old, twin 22 month olds and one on the way. One of my 22 month olds sounds EXACTLY like Brooklyn, except she's way behind in her verbal skills so I can never understand her reasoning behind crying (like it matters), but she absolutely LOST IT today because I dared to give her anything less than a WHOLE and TOGETHER graham cracker. I mean threw it on the floor, then threw herself on the floor. Her shrieks are so loud I'm shocked that we haven't had social services show up on our doorstep. Every time I read one of your posts about Brooklyn I think, "Yep, that's Ashlyn!" It is so exhausting. And I know you can take some liberties when you blog about it, but I'm amazed at your apparent calmness to it all. I want to scream and yell right back at her and lock her in a closet because, let's face it, she's going to scream anyway, right??!

AmandaMcGregor74 said...

Hi Dawn, I just wanted to check if you realised that your reactions to bee stings are an allergic reaction and you should really take an antihistamine ASAP after being stung, and be aware that at some point in the future, as an extreme reaction you could go into anaphylactic shock. I swelled like that all through my childhood and it wasnt until I was at the GP for something else and happened to have a grossly swollen foot that he informed mum that it as an allergic reaction and I need to carry antihistamines with me, be aware of anaphylactic shock and go straight to a hospital if I get stung anywhere around the face or neck. Not trying to scare you, just making sure you look after yourself.

Anonymous said...

I always thought I'd have more than two children (especially after #2 was boy #2), but I totally agree with the "if he'd been born first, he'd be an only child" comment. Don't get me wrong, he's as sweet and caring and cute as can be, but man alive, that description of Brooklyn's performances fits what goes on here on a daily basis to a "T." If it's not the wrong clothes / jammies, its the wrong plate for breakfast, or the fact that even though yesterday it was fine for me to buckle the car seat, today he has to do it for himself, even though it takes three times as long.... I could go on, but I sense I'd be preaching to the choir! I like the hypoglycemia comment someone else made; maybe I'll check that out!

Hang in there! She'll be in college someday, right?

~Laura

Ruth of Milwaukee said...

Look on the bright side those 17000 Calories Brooklyn fed you won't go to the hips, thighs, stomach, or any where else! The best kind of Calories.

On a serios note, you should see an allergist about those bee sting reactions. If you are allergic to them, the reactions will get more violent as time goes on and could even kill you. One of my friends has to carry an epi-pen incase of bee stings and get to the hospital within about 20 minutes of a sting and epi-pen dose or it could be curtains for her. Don't mess around with those kind of allergies. A little preventative precaution go a long way in cases like that.

Mum-me said...

You are very lucky - ALL SIX of my children have gone through this two-year-old-tantrum-throwing stage (except my son waited until he was 3 years old.)

Anonymous said...

My youngest child threw tantrums endlessly; she still does at times and she is 10. It's easier to deal with now, as she is no longer potentially dangerous to herself.
She was kind of cute when she threw herself down on the floor when she was 2 because she would cross her ankles. Very lady like. Hang in there, it gets so much better. We always say about this cherub is that when she is being good she is amazing but look out if she's not happy. Without a doubt if she'd been our first; she'd be an only. She sent my husband running to get fixed before she even turned one!

Rosie : ) said...

Two years old seems to be a silly age where they want to assert their independance. Out of the 6 who have been through that age group, only one was a tantrum-thrower. Walking away didn't really do much, so we resorted to different degrees of lost toys, even a blanky removal for a few minutes.

I wish you luck! We still have one more than is on the cusp of the 2 year old phase, so hopefully he will let us breathe a bit and *not* go through it! Here's to hoping...

Jennifer said...

I feel your pain, though I imagine your 6 kids add to the stress more than my 3. My 3-year-old was a terrible-2, and I swear I thought that once she turned 3 things would settle down. They've only gotten worse, something my pediatrician nodded and smiled at. Why couldn't people have warned me that 3 and 4 are sometimes worse than 2?! She is a VERY strong-willed girl, so now the issues are about power struggles. I have twin babies also, and they had better not BOTH be like their older sister! Hang in there, and look forward to preschool next year!

Danielle said...

I hear you on the tanrums! My two year old recently had such a terrible tantrum on the steps outside our front door that someone called the police, and they showed up to check on us. Little did they know he wasn't being abused; he was just mad that he couldn't ride his bike at 9:30 p.m.

klred said...

Just wanted to say hi and that I really enjoy reading your blog. I am a 911 dispatcher in South Dakota and I read your blog on a regular basis!

Robin said...

You poor dear! Why is the kids seem to use only their "best" behavior with Mom??!?! I ask my husband that all the time. I seem to bring out the worst in my kids. = )

I am Trish Marie said...

One of my daughters was (who I am kidding...is) exactly like this. Although, at seven the tantrums are much more sophisticated and have evolved to the door slamming, pre-teeny (already?! I thought I had a few more years before this!) angst kind of tantrum. My other daughter? She doesn't have time for fits. She is too busy plotting how she is going to get away with doing it anyway.

Andi said...

The night I came home from my first day at work (Wednesday), my 6 year old proceeded to have a fit at the babysitters because I had the audacity to come and pick her up to go home. Fit all the way home into the house. I sent her to her room because I had had a stressful first day at work and listen to a fit from her? No way. Heard her screaming and throwing things in her room about 20 minutes and then there was quiet. She had gotten herself into her jammies and fallen asleep in her bed. She had a 2.5 hour nap and then came out, apologized, and was pleasant the rest of the evening. There is light at the end of this dark tunnel you are in. About the bee stings, heed the advice regarding you possibly being allergic. Take a trip to the doctor and ask for that epi pen. Don't want you to die because of a stupid little bee. Or anything else for that matter. I put you on my blog reading list on my site...lol

Meredith said...

My oldest is the exact same...yes I know and I dared have another. She throws a fit over the slightest thing...from her pop tart being broken to me picking out the wrong story to read at night. You just never know what will set her off. I usually just ignore her or put her in her room till she calms down. This can be immediately of last for a hour. My friends all have easy kids so they think its my parenting...thanks for sharing. It's nice to know that some kids are just more strong willed and there is someone else going through this same thing.

Rick said...

Is the rumor true that the name of your new web site is going to be called "Mom to My Seven Pack"?

Sue Bohlin said...

Dawn, my husband learned a stretching exercise that completely solved his plantar fasciitis. Easy and FREE!! :::doin' the happy dance:::

Stand on a step on the balls of your feet, with your heels hanging off. That will stretch the Achilles tendon. Just stand there, silently stretching, for 15-10 seconds. Do about five times, 3x a day. Here's a link to a webpage with pictures: http://www.plantarfasciitisbraces.com/plantar_fasciitis_stretching_exercises.html

Ren said...

I hope you feel better^^
My little girl hates to be told no. She's only 11months and already she's starting to throw tantrums. I hope it passes sooner than later.

papersunshine said...

I was curious when my son acted like your daughter at that age but I blew it off until he got kicked out of pre-school. I read the book "Out of Sync Child" and it turned out to be him and it has helped me so much. He is 6 now and still has issues, he didn't get totally better with age although the minute to minute tantrums are down to one or two a day. He doesn't act his age but if it weren't for this book he probably would be in a lot worse shape. Just a thought, I didn't know it wasn't just terrible twos until someone told me (yes he has been professionally diagnosed since then). Good luck :)

musebox said...

I have a new coping mechanism for tantrums which is just to stare blankly at my children while they flail. As if I'm not involved, and they are just some street urchins I stumbled across on the street. And you know what? It doesn't work.

BandK said...

Every time I read about Brooklyn's tantrums and saw that video where she was screaming in the car (its a wonder you're not deaf yet!) my heart just goes out to you. Your readers have lots of excellent suggestions.

I wonder if she might have a touch of autism. Not full-blown autism, but since she is so overreactive to the slightest bit of frustration she might be what they call "on the spectrum." The autism spectrum is quite broad, and many autistics are fully functional. However, the earlier they are diagnosed, the easier it is to teach them how to cope. My brother has Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the low end of the autism spectrum, and as a child, he would get extremely frustrated because things weren't exactly the way he thought they should be (a form of OCD, which is a symptom). I don't recall him having those type of tantrums as a two year old, but I'm 50 and he's 48, so it was a long time ago! I'll have to ask my mom.

The younger a person is when they're diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum, the easier it is to teach them how to cope. If an autistic reaches adulthood without learning these skills, it often cannot be taught.

Anyway, just a thought. Have you mentioned these tantrums to your pediatrician? You obviously are a very good parent and don't spoil your children. There must be something physically or psychologically going on with her.

I loved the idea of one of your commenters who suggested filming her and then showing her what she looks like when she's doing that, but at age two I doubt she'd be able to make that connection. If, God forbid, she's still doing this at age 8 or 9, that might work.

So those are my two cents worth! Hugs to you; you are in my prayers.

BandK said...

Oh, and one more suggestion that might work for some things, is to give her choices? If you ask her "do you want to put on the pink pajamas or the purple pajamas tonight?" Would that solve the dilemma of the pj tantrum? Giving her too many choices would just make the choosing go on too long, I would think.

Or perhaps she would choose the purple pjs and then scream because she really wanted the pink ones, after the purple ones are already on?

Anyway, just a thought. :-)

Mabunny said...

Sounds like Brooklyn will be a handful when she gets older... I would probably be bald because i'd keep pulling my hair out, lol.
Hope you all have a great holiday weekend!

Dawn said...

Dawn,

My 15yo still has control issues. He was definitely the worst of the 3 (he's the youngest). Lost control so easily. Oppositional issues. Told me at age 8 or 9, "I was going to, but since you told me to, I'm not". He's a very loving affectionate person, and has gotten it mostly under control most of the time, but we could never do time outs or any of the standard forms of discipline. When he was 2,3,4, etc., he wouldn't stay in his room, or the time-out corner if we sent him there. If we restrained him while he flailed, he grew even more desperate to break loose and throw himself around. I wonder now if he's on the autism scale also. Or if it's just ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). He can behave wonderfully for others, though. We(his family) are just the lucky ones, I guess. It is frustrating... Hang in there.

dawn d.

Tiberiusmac said...

Has anyone ever mentioned the book "Raising Your Spirited Child" to you before? Apologies if you've heard of it before. What I've read of Brooklyn reminds me so much of what my wife and I go through with our second daughter, and this book has helped immensely in how we relate to her. Just thought I'd mention it! http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Perceptive/dp/0060923288

Kool Aid said...

My Little Man will throw some amazing tantrums. One time, my husband heard Little Man screaming from the car as I pulled in the driveway. The windows were closed in the van and in the house and he STILL heard him! I don't remember my older daughter being quite like that.

On a side note, I wish our library had a place for children to play like it sounds like yours does. Ours is a smaller county one, not the main one, so it doesn't really have that much extra space. I spend my time chasing Little Man around then carry him kicking and screaming like a seizing potato sack when it's time to leave.

whew!

Anonymous said...

This is going to sound bad, but it's very comforting to know there are so many others having the same issues I am. Not that I would wish this on anyone... My friends all seem to have those mystical, magical, perfect kids. And some have no problem offering me "suggestions" on how to handle my difficult child. You know the ones-"you know if you ____ she wouldn't ____" Fill in the blanks with anything, it doesn't matter. It's really annoying and makes me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I read your blog and all these comments and think maybe there's hope. My precious child is 3 1/2 and is hasn't slowed down much, I'm counting on 4 to be her magic age!

Candi said...

Dawn, I share your other readers' concerns regarding the bee sting. I am allergic to bee stings and according to my allergist they are among the most life threatening of all allergies, right up there with coconut and peanuts. And, as other readers indicated, each sting produces a stronger, faster effect, and you never know which one will be the one that causes you to black out before you can call for help. I haven't been stung for many years now, but the last 2 times I was stung I ended up in the ER with no memory of how I got there. Once your allergy is confirmed and the strength of reaction determined, they'll prescribe you your own epi-kit and alert bracelet so you can self administer the drug as soon as you are stung, because every second counts. Please, take heed and get this checked out. The last thing I remember the last time I was stung was feeling dizzy. Thank God there were other adults around to get me the help I needed.

maggiebsmocks said...

Temper tantrums, terrible twos? It DOES pass. One thing that helped me was asking the children if they wanted to CONTROL themselves or if they wanted me to control them. They figure that one out pretty quick.

DD, aka Spawn of Satin in the carseat...honest to goodness: 3 days old, GOING HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL!!!!! she ska.reeeemmmmeeeeddd! from the time we sat that pretty bundle of joy in the car seat to the time we got home, 45 minutes later. We even stopped halfway home to make sure she wasn't pinched or something!
For the next 24 months it was like that. EVERYTIME!!! We wanted to drive head-on into an oncoming semi more than once.

Oh and about that bee sting: GO TO THE DOCTOR!!! You need an epipen! Sorry I hate people who prescribe meds without a license but this time, I'm telling you to do it MISSY! (I'm saying this with authority, standing with my hands on my hips, tapping my toes, looking with my stern MOM face.)

enjoy the day!
maggieb!

Alana M said...

Isn't that the way? If my third had been my first, I'd have one kid as well. But he wa my third, so guess how many we have? (hint: more than 2, but less than 4)

Lisa said...

My 2 1/2 year old son is in the terrible part of the two's also. He pitches a fit over everything! If he can't do something and we offer to help, he pitches a fit that he didn't do it once we've helped him. At least Brooklyn lets you help her. My husband and I don't know how to pick out his clothes either, which leads to tantrums. You are not alone!!!

By the way, how do you fasten a child in their car seat while the child is having a tantrum without appearing to be physically abusing the child??????

Britney said...

My mom has always said that if my brother had been born first, he would have been an only child because he was such a handful.

WhisperingWriter said...

Your daughter reminds me of my daughter Natalie. She's only one and doesn't say much but man is she bossy! She'll point and grunt and get frantic until she's given what she wants. My son was never like that so it's a total surprise to have a demanding baby.

Shelley said...

Dang those older kids. I used to try to let my youngest just "cry out" the tantrum or whatever, but her two older sisters would usually give her what she wanted, just so she would be quiet! I've tried to explain to them that they're only making things worse, but...yeah. And I only have three kids, but the older two are teenagers and the "baby" is 5.

A friend of mine has five kids, and her youngest acts the same way. Screaming, crying fits at the least little thing. And he's 5 years old too.

Shelly said...

I know you probably wont read this as this post was a while ago, but I just had to sympathize. My 2 year old does the exact same thing. I just keep telling everyone it's her red hair. Maybe one day she'll mellow out. My other two are NOTHING like Marissa.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how many times I have said "If she were the first, she would have been the only" about my youngest (of five.) I think God sent her to us to say "HA! You think you two know how to be parents? Think again!" -Ruth

Anonymous said...

Dawn, I just watched the the video of the two women asking you about you blogging life. Your hair looks fabulous. If you are doing something different, keep it up.

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