While watching Finding Nemo, I had this conversation with Clay.
CLAY: Did that fish get eaten?
ME: The mom fish was eaten. The dad fish and Nemo are ok though.
CLAY: A shark ate them?
ME: A big fish ate them.
CLAY: Actually, a shark ate them.
ME: It was a big fish.
CLAY: And sharks are big fish, right?
ME: I give up. You know everything.
I really don't know how I made it to the ripe old age of 38. My kids point out daily just how stupid I am. Austin is especially good for this. It doesn't matter what I say, that kid will find a loophole and exploit it every time without fail.
"The sky is blue."
"Well actually, the sky isn't really blue. The gas molecules in the sky just absorb the shorter wavelengths blah blah blah blah blah..."
Of course, if I gave the scientific explanation, he'd counter with something else.
"The sky looks blue because the molecules absorb the short wavelengths and...."
"No. The sky is blue because it would look weird if it was purple."
It really doesn't matter what I say, Austin's greatest joy in life is achieved by proving me wrong. Oh, if only I were as smart as a teenager. I used to be that smart. I used to know everything. I did!
I think I've figured it out. Babies are born knowing very little. You teach them important stuff. You teach them how to talk and walk, how to feed themselves and read, how to dress themselves and poop on the potty. They look up to you. You have all the answers to life's problems. In fact, you do such a great job teaching them that they eventually become smarter than you.
You begin to realize that you really don't have all the answers. I mean, you don't even know what MileyWorld is. You can't name all the Jonas Brothers. It takes you 12 minutes to send a text message and you have no clue what Webkinz are. You think that Fergie is the Duchess of York and Wii is simply "we" misspelled. Suddenly your kids are rolling their eyes at you because clearly, only the very simple-minded wouldn't know what "IDK" means.
Take heart though. You won't be stupid forever. Some day your kids will probably have kids of their own and suddenly you'll regain your intelligence. In fact, you may even be called wise by your children.