Sunday, September 9, 2007

A Rose by Any Other Name

Several people have written me to comment on my kids' names. Yes, they're all named after cities. Yes, Clayton is actually a city even though it doesn't sound like one. The thing about Clay is that we were running out of good city names by the time we got to him and we had a hard time deciding on a name. We didn't have a name picked out until the day after he was born despite plenty of "helpful" suggestions from family and friends. Let's see if I can recall some of their wonderful name ideas. There was

Schenectady
Tallahassee
Paul & Minnie (St. Paul and Minneapolis) if I had boy/girl twins
Albuquerque
Tuscaloosa
Chattanooga
Punxsutawney
and of course, Rancho Cucamonga

As awesome as all these suggestions were, I figured I'd probably mess my child up enough on my own without giving him a name he'd never be able to spell. Can you imagine the therapy bill for a kid named Punxsutawney?

By the time I was in labor, I'd narrowed down my choices to Dallas, Houston, Branson, and Clayton. (Yes, I used a copy of Rand McNally to get ideas.) My husband and I couldn't decide so we let our other kids pick the baby's name from those four choices. Austin and Savannah both voted for Clayton. Jackson, on the other hand, opted to call him Slicker. In fact, he called him Slicker for about a year at which point Clayton became known as "Baby Day-on" which is how Lexi pronounced Clayton at the time. It could have been worse. Jackson wanted to call him Nemo at first.

My point is - you pour over baby name books for nine months agonizing over the all important question - what will I name my baby so no one will give him a goofy nickname? It seems that for every choice you can think of, there is an unappealing nickname just waiting to attach itself to your baby. (Not to mention trying to find a name that doesn't remind you of someone you hated in highschool.)

You can insist and demand that your little Joseph never be called anything but Joseph, but by the time he's in kindergarten, he'll be known as Joe or Joey to someone. And if that doesn't happen, he'll acquire a nickname like Skipper, Spaz, Rhino, or some other equally ridiculous moniker that will stick with him for life. It just happens. You might as well accept that.

And really, I'm not sure why I bothered to give my kids names at all. I can never remember them. I spit and sputter, going through a list of disjointed syllables. "AusSavaJacksClaytonReid get over here right now!" It's very hard to sound authoritative when you can't remember your child's name. For some reason, the kids just don't take you seriously when you say, "JacksSav, er ClayLex, grrr whatever your name is! You know who you are!"

My dad used to call my poor sister "Corky". Corky was the dog. We thought he was crazy. Now I know the truth. We made him crazy.

220 comments:

1 – 200 of 220   Newer›   Newest»
allison.barringer said...

You know, I've heard worse than "Clayton"...

My brother- and sister-in-law named their son Tristan.

With no vowels

That's right, TRSTN is my nephew's name.

I wouldn't think that was so weird...his mom's name is Daiquiri.

As in the drink

She has 2 sisters...

Can you guess what their names are?

Tequila & Chablis.

condiforprez said...

How about "Twin #2" that's what my sister was called for about a day after we were born. My mom didn't know she was having twins, so I, being the first twin, had a name, but my poor mother, who just had the shock of her life had to come up with a name for my twin sister. Not that it really mattered that we had different names. Everyone always called us by eachother's names. I finally stopped answering to my sister's name when I was 20 and worked at a job where a co-worker (who was a man) had the same name as my sister. It probably took about 2 months that I realized when people said "Kelly" they didn't mean me, even though that's not my name.

Good thing mom's don't listen to their children when they pick out younger sibling's names. My niece and nephew wanted to name their new baby brother and sister Snake and Alligator. When I was pregnant with my son, Elliot, my daughter, Elinor, wanted to name him Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Anonymous said...

HI...You're Great! I Look forward to your blogs.
Do You currently have anything listed on ebay? And If so....How do I find it?

*BB* said...

LOL you have to admire Jacksons persistence with Slicker. My first name is so god awful I refuse to use it now.

Joalea said...

Once we start a pattern for naming kids we gotta stick with it. Love your Blog! Thanks for adding humour to the diapers and barf!

Shelly said...

Like my husband says to our 7, "If I'm lookin' at ya - I'm talkin' to ya!" I love how when I blurt something out when I'm mad...most of the time it makes no sense: "Ship up or shape out!". I always mess up!

Angie said...

You could have picked Niceville.
It's real. I grew up there. Seriously. It's the home of the Boggy Bayou Mullet Festival.
Look it up. It's here in Florida.
Seriously.
Look it up.
http://awholelotofnothing.wordpress.com

Julephenia said...

Hi, I'm a lurker, and this post just inspired me to say something.

I'm in my mid-20s, and I'm an only child. As a kid, we had a dog named Rags (he died when I was 20).

My mother used to call me Rags. Ok, my full name is Rebecca, but the dog was male, I'm female, and she named me (the dog came with that name). Even with your helpful post, I'm not sure I understand that. The only explanation I have is that it runs in the family - my grandmother goes through her son, her two daughters, her six grandsons, other granddaughter, and all the great grandchildren before she gets to me again.

*sigh*

Maybe I just name my future kids, "You" and "That Other One"?

My boys are Army Brats said...

I think that naming my children was good fun. We would choose a name we loved just to tell it to a friend of family member for them to tear it to shreds! Or better yet for them to use it themselves! My husbands uncle used the name we wanted to use for my oldest son, Konnor (he didnt know we wanted it though) so I got mad and told Kirke that it was up to him to find a new name. His choice was "Tayton" my reply was "what the heck is a Tayton?" Well now I know that a Tayton is my now 6 year old son! My husbands granny hated the name so much that she insisted "its okay to have more than one Konnor in the family, you can still use it!" Yep she hated it!

My little one is Korbin, so the boys often end up being called "T-Korbin or KorTayton" Cute names as well I suppose!

carrie said...

LOL! My mom is a twin and the funny story I remember hearing growing up was that her dad used to just call the girls "Di-ebra" Diane and Debra rolled into one ;)

Sharlyn said...

Dawn, just wanted to tell you how much I'm enjoying your blog. Been reading since the ebay auction.
My husband (also Joseph!) and I have five children and naming them was hard. Be careful of those initials, watch out for the possible goofy name rhymes, lookout for the really modern, different ones, and is "Fred" really back in style? Keep up the great work, we can all say we "knew you when" :-)
Sharlyn in Idaho

andrea said...

last weekend, i was driving home from my son's soccer game in the middle of the afternoon (my husband was texting me from the beach during a "work" trip. he called, but we couldn't hear him over the crashing, cooling, soothing waves...). at the time, i was trying to figure out how we could survive a day with this much humidity without having gills. suddenly, i realized it had been FOREVER since i had a good, solid laugh. coincedentally, when i got home, an e-mail with a link to your blog was waiting for me. i have been laughing non-stop ever since. thank you!

Tutus and Turtles said...

I grew up loving Erma Bombeck, so I have thoroughly enjoyed discovering your ability to bring out the humorous side of parenting. Thanks for the laughs. I hope all goes well with the book, etc., I am so excited for you.

My kids each get called at least 14 different names a day and I only have two kids! My Dad, Father to four daughters, gave up at one point and started calling all of us "Bubba."

-Holly

Deandra said...

Hello,
Like so many others, i have been following your blog for the last few weeks. I'm the mother of 3 medically fragile, special needs children. things can get pretty rough around here, and reading your blogs are definitely a highlight for me! Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Julie Pretz said...

It is a bad day in my house when I start calling my husband by the kids' name. It just goes to say that my husband is just another one of my children.

Jenny said...

All true. Too true.

My great-grandmother would yell for Sally when she wanted one of her daughters. There were three of them; not one was named Sally. They would all come running and she would point at the daughter she wanted. I've always thought she was brilliant.

Brenda Smith said...

My parents thought using the initial "B" for our names, since they were Bob & Bev, so here came, Bob Jr, Bill, Bruce, Bret and Brenda. When I got married, I had a step daughter named Ashley, then came my daughters Brandi and Casey, had I not divorced, I wonder how far into the alphabet we would have gotten?

Anonymous said...

Ha! I totally know what you mean about not remembering names. We only have two girls, and my husband will catch himself saying, "Rachel, Margaret...which one are you again?"

Love your Blog. I look forward to reading the book.

M from Western Canada

Missy said...

Thanks for the laughs! I just switched names today for my two boys. Isn't it amazing what comes out of our mouths during times of frustration! :)

Missy - Texas

Wildsissy said...

HA HA I was just going to say.. my name was sometimes BUCKWHEAT... our little all white maltese! too funny!

eebee said...

There is a Clayton in California...

alison said...

i knew someone in high school that called his sister D.U.G--Dumb Ugly Girl. but of course while sorting papers for 'friday folders' at the elementary school, i discovered that the boys were starting to give themselves nicknames: P-Dog, Z-Man, etc.

Shelly S. said...

I LOVE the crazy nickname thing! Although we too agonized over picking the perfect names for our six children, they are most frequently known as: Ty-Ty, Stinky or 'B', Ponze, Scooter, Ladybug or M&M, and Lovely. I think the nicknames are endearing.

Katirocks said...

As usual I love your blog, it makes me laugh! My mom & dad went will K names for me & my 2 sisters. Kymberlie (who they called Kymi), Kari & Kati. So before too long we were K1, K2 & K3. For years they wanted a boy & all of us were called Kevin in utero, when they finally got a boy they named him Jason. (we called him Jay) I know, nutty!
It's so funny what toddlers come up with too. I have a Savannah also, & her little brother calls her Lon. Yes, LON. We don't know where he got it, but it's stuck. So you never know what your kids are going to be called.
- Kate

Susan in FL said...

Hey there, it's me again; the one with all the seven-letter, three syllable-named kids. :)

You know what kills me the most? When I start out with the *RIGHT CHILD*, and STILL go through everyone's name. It goes something like, "Rebe-Abi-Betha-REBEKAH!!" to which my little smarty pants answers, "You had it right the first time, Mom."

And my husband made me laugh once by using the "you know you're in trouble when you hear the middle name" rule ... except he used the WRONG middle name!! We have an Abigail Faith and a Bethany Grace and he yelled, "ABIGAIL GRACE!" Um, nooo...

:) Thanks for keeping the laughs coming. I too find it very hard to be taken seriously in moments like those!

Wes said...

How about when your children try to be 'helpful' and remind you of their names. One day they will understand and realize we're not complete dorks!

mckie2 said...

I so totally know what you mean. I have 4 cats - Sophie, Venus, Emma and Maggie. They don't look anything alike but I still get their names mixed up. Doesn't matter - they don't listen to me anyway.

Mary said...

I have 3 girls and a dog. I call them all "Missy" although none of them are named Missy - not even close. It's weird how each one of them knows which one I'm talking to.

I put a great deal of thought into naming my girls. I had a long list of rules - drove everyone nuts who tried to suggest a name. No, that breaks rule #12!

All those rules and I call them all Missy.

Nancy said...

My sister in law tells the story of a student her Mom had in class.... her name was ABCDE... pronounced AB-suh-dee

You gotta wonder...

Anonymous said...

Your to funny, hey you had lots of citys to pick from, Phoenix, gilbert and many others.

before i had my son my niece named him Dadas and incited that was the name he will have for yrs.

My son now almost 3 calls himself ya-ya (like the clown) n will not say his name at all (riley) I dont blame him i must have not gotten out before i had him if i had i would have known half the state was named Riley. In its many different spellings.

Your blog keeps me rolling, im lovin it. Thank-you!!!!

tAnYeTTa said...

hey my parent's named me tanyetta. i can't say anything about anyone's name! great job momma!

Lisa said...

I'm one of six, myself, and the other five are all boys. Now, I can understand cycling through the boy names for my brothers, but I got called by all the boy names, too. My Dad finally had to resort to numbers.

The best came from my second oldest brother, though. We were at a party at his house and he needed something, "MomLisJer-YOU! The one I married! Come here!"

Kizeree said...

this blog is so funny. i have 3 kids at the mo and am due my 4th pretty much anytime.

i have 2 boys and a girl at the mo and fine myself going thro not only theoir names but my husbands too when i what them. i have yelled Abbieson so many times my eldes now calls the youngest abbieson tho his name is harrison

my nana was worse. shed go thru all 10 grandkids and her 3 kdis befoer getting the one she wanted!

Kiz

Steph said...

hee! hee! I named my first child Aspen. When the 2nd child came people were suggesting names of trees. I'll never forget a friend of mine suggesting Lodgepole (pine) if it was a boy!! :)

Krista said...

And you know how much harder it is to find a decent name for your child when both parents are teachers??? "Here's one", "oh no, that kid was awful!" and so on and so forth!

And in my husband's family you knew you were in trouble when you got called Duchess... the dog, of course!

Plus my mother also blessed me with a hyphenated first name and no middle name. Gotta love it!

Anonymous said...

I think that Abigail is 4 syllables!

Anonymous said...

My daughters name is Jayda Rayne. I was on the phone with my brother the other night and she was being a normal 13.5 month old, getting in to everything she wasn't suppose to be in to. I haven't seen this brother in 14 years. We recently found each other again. We're adopted, so when our dad passed away 14 years ago we lost touch. Anyway, I said something to the effect of, "Jayda Rayne, don't do that!! Get down NOW!!" My brother now calls my daughter Gatorade!!

I'm also the baby of 18 kids (as I mentioned above I am adopted). So I totally understand the not knowing your kids name. I was called everything in the book EXCEPT my name growing up.

roseys madhouse said...

I founhd that when I named my kids I named them with names that couldnt be shortened. One of my sons is Pj and he gets "Peej" so go figure I thought I was being clever when I maned him but no he still gets a nickname lol

Anonymous said...

Ha! My mom got my name mixed up and I was an only child!

Polli (mum of 2 from the UK) said...

Hahaha that's funny! Also amazingly normal lol. I'm the 3rd of 6 kids, and for the first few years of my life I thought my name was SamMandPol, (older sisters names are Sammi and Mandy). They just started at the top and kept going till they got to the right name hahaha

Stephanie Olson said...

I have a 3 year old, Emily Grace, and a 13 month old, Avery Faith. This morning when I was feeding the baby breakfast, she kept looking away and annoyed, I kept saying, "Emily, open your mouth!" I know I'm in trouble when I'm already mixing up their names and Avery can't even talk yet!

Cindy said...

Names are difficult. My father, who is a grandfather of only 4 kids, starts with my mom's name, then goes trough all the cats and dogs we ever had, uses the names of my sister and me and ends with the grandchildrens names... Sten-Binkie-Kiki-Koska-Cin-Frank-Jesse-Liedewij-Nadia-HILDE! He really wanted us to just name our kids with numbers...but we didn't,hahaha! It's great to hear him fight his way through the names!
It's less great, however, to hear myself do it, especially when I'm mad at one of the kids...Maybe I'm just groing old...
Grtz from Holland

Nicky Knickers said...

My daughter is called Bethan but ever since she was a wee thing, we have called her Moo Moo lol.

She had a right set of lungs on her, and drove me batty. Instead of calling her a little cow I used to say, 'yer a right little moo today aint ya'. Moo kinda stuck and evolved into Moo Moo which is totally meant in an affectionate way. lol

susan said...

ok first of all love your blog , second i can relate to you being the mom of 5 ( 17-7) & the funny stories dont stop as the y get older they just get different .
as for the name thing lol my mom calls me barb ( my names susan) its to the point when i am getting ready to yell at one of the children ( sara,devon,graci,shaun& charlet) i start with who evers name i remember first add the cats in there too ( mango & dollface) & we just got a dog lol & im sure ill be calling one of the children paco soon . keep it up & remember your sanity will come back one of these days ( mine comes back between the hours of 9-2:30 ) when theyre in school.

ablondeblogger said...

You're so right about them getting nicknames, even unpleasant ones. Our oldest is named Amanda.

In school, they teased her by calling her "A Man Duh!" I told her it was stupid and to ignore it and then Friends did an episode where they made the same joke. She never could live THAT down!

Stasi said...

My youngest brother has this problem. He came after a nine year gap and is the only boy. He's the only one who gets called the dogs name...to be fair, sometimes we call the dog Alex.

Mina said...

Too funny and true about the names issue! We've got a pattern with our 4 kids, but you have to look hard to find it. Our kids are named Nathan, Mitchell, Owen and Lila. L, M, N, O. But not in order! If we decided to have another one I'd have to come up with a K name or a P name, neither of which I'm crazy about. Ah, well.

And I usually run through all the kids names when I'm really frustrated too...although the baby is usually left out because I can usually distinguish between the boys and the one girl! Of course, she's only 6 months old anyway, so there aren't a lot of things to get after her about! :o)

As for nicknames...all my kids have interesting nicknames. Nathan goes by Nay-nay most of the time, because it's what he called himself before he could say Nathan. Mitchell is Mimi...same reason, as it's what Nathan called him. Owen is either Schmoe or Spaz. And Lila gets called Sweet-bug usually. Not names I would have picked out for them to be called, but they've stuck!

River said...

I had the day off work today so decided to cach up on your blogs from day one. (I also found you through the e-bay link) So straight after breakfast I logged on and with only a few diversions, (vacuuming,cleaning the oven, cooking dinner) I'm now all caught up. I love your writing, keep the stories coming.

Manic Mom said...



Dawn, love your blog! And so with you on the name thing!

I am one of four children. My maiden name is one syllable, and begins with ST...

All of our names begin with S:

Stephanie

Stacy

Scott

Seth

My sister is 11 months younger than I am - we're what you call Irish Twins. My first brother came like a year after my sister was born. My parents liked to drink.

That said, I guess I do too. Except I can't drink red wine because it makes me pregnant.

We almost named our daughter Rosemount Shiraz. I don't drink that anymore.

Come to think of it, I probably could have named my sons "Margarita-with-an-amaretto-topper" and "Pinot Grigio" had I gone with the 'name-your-kid-after-the-alcohol-you-consumed-the-night-you-got-pregnant' theme.

Cialynne1 said...

I live in Clayton, NC. It is a small dot on the map, and it is growing rather quickly into a square that marks the spot..

I too join the ranks of people that love to read your blog. Thanks for sharing your life with all of us.

You actually live in the city that my supervisor lives in.. and she is hilarious too..

Just think.. when Oprah gets wind of all of your fame, and she will at some point.. you won't have too far to go to be on her show.. :)

It shouldn't take too long before you are invited to her illustrious stage.. Hmmmm.. perhaps all of your readers can go send her an email telling her that we want to see you on her show..

Yeah! That's the ticket.. Hey Oprah.. We want DAWN!!!! Let me go write that email now.. :)
Linda

halimah said...

My ex-husband wanted to name our son Jedediah Zachariah. His last name is Dutch, hard to spell and 9 letters long. No freaking way. So I chucked the name book at him and told him to pick something simple. He did. And it can't be shortened into a nickname.

Kim said...

My brother's nickname from my dad was Schmed...to this day I call him schmed. He is 36. It's more to annoy him than anything. My son was nicknamed peanut by the hospital because he weighed one pound at birth. he is now 8 and is still called peanut. He even has a Mr peanut on his motorcycle. He has embraced his nickname thank God. We call my daughter Matilda...I don't know why, her name is Kailey. Anyway, nicknames will happen no matter what you name your child. And try having identical twins...we just them "whoever you are" because we get tired of going through all the kids names only to get it wrong in the end. (They are really Blake and Brandon we just end up saying whoever you are when we are calling for them in a hurry. Didn't want anyone to panic and actually think we named them whoever you are.)

kimikki said...

I'm one of six kids, all starting with K. The last one should have been Kwitz. I also call my daughter by my sister's name and vise versa. My mom used to go through the whole list when trying to get one's attention. She also figured that, if she told one of us something, she must have told all of us. She would sign greeting cards with "Al, Toots, and the 6 K's".

i_am_4given said...

Oh, Dawn, I am with you on about not remembering their names...but what I do is ask them, "What is your name, and don't lie to me because I know where you live"...That usually cracks 'em up!!

Rebecca Banner said...

That is so true about your child getting a nick name from a name like joey for joseph whether you want it or not. I'm almost 40 and people ask my name and i say , 'rebecca'. Then i get 'well do you go by becky'? Did i SAY my name was becky?????? I still get people who call me becky even tho i tell them my name is rebecca. The dentist office called the other day and asked for becky and i said they have the wrong number. She called back and and verified the number and she asked if this was our residence and i said yes. She then asked for becky and i told her no one here lived by that name. Then i said "OH you mean rebecca". She said ok. Then when she said goodbye she said 'bye becky'. Drives me crazy. People just don't get it.

Erika Martin - Stampin' Mama said...

My brother couldn't say "Erika" when he was little so it either came out as "Kaka" or "Yuck." My grandmother called me Yuck till the day she died....just this past January.

My daughter has been called Girly since she was 6 1/2 months old. She's now 7.

For the longest time, my husband called our first born (our son) "Pus Wad" because he was always drooling, snotty or something along those lines.

Leah said...

My name is Leah. That would also be Leah-Peah, Fleah, Princess Leah (spelled wrong and pronounced differently than the princess, but people still insist), and a score of other annoying nicknames. I love my name (now) but as a kid I just wanted to be a Jenny :)

See-Ya,
Leah

Kristen said...

It is so hard to get kids names out of your mouth - especially when they're in trouble! I have 3 1/2 year old twins Ryan and Adam - they generally are known as Aryan and Radam.

I love reading your blog - it's a great way to start my work day! Thanks for the laughs!

Cyn said...

It's hard enough to teach kids how to spell Tallahassee for their "where do you live" test in 1st grade; I'd never put it on a kid (but what a kick to see our town listed in your list of names - hee hee).

I'm enjoying your blog - thanks for the laughs - and I'm loving the comments, too. What a great lift.

Frankie said...

If this were not so funny, I would say that I can sympathize but somehow that seems the wrong choice of words. Hard to profess sympathy when you are roaring with laughter. I have only one rugrat, but I have two dogs with human names: Joey and Frankie. (Not the typical "King, Spunky, or Ruffs") and somehow even their names end up my list of names when fussing at my son. It comes out "Fra-Jo-Chris!" I laughed out loud (again) at your reader's comment about how her/his dad would say "If I am looking at ya, I am talkin' to ya." Perhaps, you should make that the rule in your house? LOL!

jennsquared said...

Clayton (NY) is DEFINITELY a city as I almost picked it to get married at next year! Instead, we are getting married on the Wellesley Island on the St. Lawrence River.

As most of people here, I started reading your blog every morning because I know you post late because of the kids, but you do post EVERYDAY. I love reading it because it makes me laugh and not have to think about my stressful job for good 10 mins :)

Jenn from Connecticut

Tina said...

My dad still calls me -let's see if I can recall them all- :
#1 Pitufo (smurfin)
#2 Pitufico (little smurfin)
#3 Gusano (worm)
#4 Gusanico (little worm)
#5 Corderico (little lamb)
#6 Ratón (mouse)
#7 Cristina (yes, sometimes he REALLY uses my name!!)
#8 Cristinica (little Cristina)
#9 Esther (sometimes he uses my sister name to call me. Guess it can't be helped)
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Note that #s 1 to 6 are masculine nouns. Actually, those are his favourites...

FarmWife said...

We often call our kids by the dogs names. Escpecially the baby...My husband's uncle was trying to say something to his oldest son last week and had to go through 3 nephew's names to get to Noah.

Oh, and I can't stand cotton balls, styrofoam, or walking on snow. It's not really a fear of these things as it is a serious disdane.

Anonymous said...

At least you didn't try to name any of your children the "@" symbol like a couple in China...

love your blog btw.

eightlegs said...

We've given our kids 'weird' names, and tried to think out any potentially awful nicknames.. but with our son, we totally dropped the ball.

His name is Nollaig.. pronounced "Nul-lig". We call him Iggy. However, it was my husband's students (he's a high school teacher) that pointed out the obvious:

NO Leg.

Thankfully these children are past the generation where "leg" meant something else entirely, so they take it to mean he simply is missing a limb, but when he starts to cry two seconds after my husband tries to make a move, he really lives up to his name. he he!

Anonymous said...

Gelieve it or not NONE of my kids have nic names. It is truly amazing that they don't too. They are Audrianna, Paige, Garrett, Reece. Now i figured at least the 1st and the 3rd would have them but nope. I like your kids names and I know what you mean about going down through the whole list of kids names before you finally get to the one you want, that is if you make it that far!

Tonya

irishmama said...

My youngest son is Quinn. I just looked it up, and there is a Quinn in TX, MO and SD, so technically he is named after a city too. There are no cities listed for my other childrens names. My only theme is they all have irish names that end with an "N". Love your blog.

Ontario said...

My SIL was the fourth child, and I guess my parents in law decided to let the older kids name the baby and then they had the middle names picked out for a boy or a girl (they were 9,8, and 6 years older than her). So, my sister in law is Dale (as in Evans). If it was a boy, it was going to be Roy (as in Rogers). I'm thinking you have a pretty good guess as to how old she is... :0) You can't blame my husband though, he came along later... His parents didn't let anyone else name *him*. He's just plain old Stephen.

Tom said...

You are so right about the names! I'm the baby of 9 for my mom and if she got through some form of names that included parts of the first 6 kids I was lucky. She was like you and would give up and tell me "you know what I mean - get over here". Now that I'm an adult I can understand how crazy we made her. I think I actually have the easiest name of all 9 kids and thank goodness by that point in time I think she gave up trying to think of new ones and named me after the doctor.

You are awesome and very funny. I look forward to my notification every day that you updated your blog so I can read it. So many of your experiences remind me of when I was a kid. Thank you!

Boogrmonkei said...

First of my fiancé and I LOVE your blogs! As for Crazy name's I had Phoenix picked out for my daughter. Yes, it is in the baby name books and good for a boy and a girl! Keep that in mind for your next one :)
Anyway My daughter became Keileigh and my son Colton. Now on nickname's my son has always been Booger.. yes that's right that greenish yellowish thing that come's out of your nose. my daughter? Monkey she LOVED monkey's when she was 2.. now she's moved onto Jaguars

Now that I'm getting re-married to someone without children I have decided to have at most 2 more. I'd like to Keep the K or C theme going and we both like Kearney if we have a girl. ( no were not pregnant yet)

I really like the way you named your children it's different and not enough ppl think out side of the box now days.... or thier so far outside the box thier almost crazy :)

Anonymous said...

Love your blog -- it's awesome! Your sense of humor is a bright spot in my crazy day!

Speaking of names, we had a friend whose wife and dd were both named "Carol". His explanation was that when he yelled "Carol", he wanted someone to come running!

TFS! Have a great week!

AKB said...

Too funny and there are so many stories I could tell you about names, it'd take a book. We were J & A, with kids J, A, & A. We got divorced and J took J with him (against my will) while I still have A & A.

Look at the Dugger Family, Jim Bob, Michelle, and 17 J names. Now that's a disaster waiting to happen in a frustrating kid moment.

Love your stuff.
AKB

Misty said...

I think it's incredibly clever. (the paul and minnie thing was clever too. If only we could control the events of our womb so specifically...) but really, the names you chose are great and it's a wonderful way to have their names all tie together rather than all beginning with the same letter. Once you pass a certain number of kids- THAT gets old...

Melodie said...

For some reason, I only mix up the boys names with the boys names and the girls names with the girls names, but I have totally just stopped after three wrong names and said, "you!" My mother only had two of us and mixed up our names too (and, we weren't twins, we were 1000 days apart.) She would joke that our names were "Rachamel" and "MelaRach." Only problem was, I DON'T ANSWER TO MEL, so I still wouldn't respond, no matter which variation she tried.

grits41 said...

With 4 kids, 4 dogs, and a parrot (yes, she talks, too), as well as a plethora of other children constantly around, I call them whatever I come up w/ first, and end w/ "whoever you are". Now they just look at me and say "whoever I am". Going through menopause at the same time makes it no easier. You'll really have some stories when you get to that point. As for letting the kids choose, my oldest son wanted to name the next one "Fish Shaggy". Always maintain veto power.

Andi said...

We named our third child Serena. Her nickname? Beans. Our beloved nanny gave her the nickname that stuck. She would sing The Name Game song to her... "Serena, Beana, Bo-Beana...." and you can see where her nickname came from.

Anonymous said...

Our fav town in PA is Shickshinny...at least your child would learn self defense at an early age!

Jen said...

Great post. :)

My grandfather had 28 grandkids (Irish Catholic family all the way...) and he would forever be hollering the wrong name at us:

"Jen-Beck-Meg--, oh, shit! Shawn!"

For the longest time, my cousin Stephanie thought her name was "Oh, shit Stephanie!"

:)

homefire said...

Naming kids is such a challenge! With our first, we called dh's sister to tell her the news, and she said, "No, really, what'd you name her?"

uh...really, that's what we named her...I think...

Of course, with dh being the joker he is, maybe we asked for that? ;-)

TK the Shrink said...

I was sent your ebay listing about the Pokemon cards and loved it so I thought I'd check out your blog. WOnderful!! :)

Billie said...

We homeschool, so any unwanted nicknames from the other kids can just be spanked out of them! (kidding--sort of!) When I was in college, a professor of mine (introduction to special education) told us of her quest for a no-nicknamable name for her baby, knowing how cruel kids in school can be. They settled on Felicia. She was VERY upset when the kids in school began to call her daughter "felatio" ...

Lori_N said...

It's nice to know I'm not the only mom who calls her kid every name except his.

I have twins also. One of the twins acts just like Donkey from Shrek so of course we call him that. Can you imagine the therapy bills he's going to have when he grows up?

I can see it now, the kid will be playing high school football and everyone will be rooting, "Let's go Donkey, get a touchdown!".

Jess said...

I'm surprised that the name on my birth certificate isn't really Amandaimeanjessicawhateveryournameis. And there's just us two. Fun times!

momumo said...

rofl... okay I'm finally posting a comment, I've been lurking because you always have so many comments.

I totally call the dog the boy's name and call the boy the dog's name - frequently! My sister-in-law is from a family of 7 and they all start with 'M' - I have this visual of her tiny little (but very authoritative) mom standing on the porch just making the 'm' sound over and over trying to get the right name to pass over her lips! - my mom didn't bother, with 9 of us, she would just ring the bell and we would all come, then she would point and utter one word commands/reprimands which were very clear such as "socks" - meaning you left your socks someplace nasty - or "school" which probably meant they called and you got to sit and wait for dad!

I only have three children (which to many of my friends is "lots") - but I love your blog because I grew up with all those siblings and it's too funny - also - I love your kids' names!

Crunchy Mom said...

There were four kids in my family... Jonathan, Julie, Jodi and Joel. My mom, love her dearly, would just look at us and say "It doesn't matter what name I call you - if I'm looking AT you, I'm talking TO you!"

Thanks for writing your story - though I "only" have two... its the "every mom" story and I think that's the appeal to so many!!

Julie

Thegryphonhunter@yahoo.com said...

Never checked out a blog before but just had to after reading your ebay ad. Change the 6pack to a 4 pack and I'm right there with you-only the "5th" child, My husband, is usually the one leading the rest into mischief and then turning to me with that look of total surprise on his face as if to say, "Wow! Would you look at that. Whooda thought..." Yadda, yadda, just like the ringleader at the circus who seems surprised when the monkeys throw pooh at the guests (and we're not talking winnie). Anyway-great ad. Will have to check out the blog thing more often. (How do you find time to do the whole internet thing?).

Happy shopping :)
Thegryphonhunter@yahoo.com

your average, everday, everymom... said...

My kids so have to read this post. They always find it hilarious when I call them by another name (including the dog's) or, like you, combine their names and end up with "whatever you're name is" or "you know who you are".

They think I'm the only mom on earth who cannot remember their kids' names. This is proof positive this is a mom thing just like having eyes in the back of our heads.

wigginsout55 said...

Like all the others who respond to you, I LOVE your blog. Your wit and way with words is amazing!

I guess my siblings and I all have at least one child with an interesting name/nickname. My sister's younger daughter is named Spring because she was born on the 1st day of Spring (her husband chose it), my brother's younger son is named Jonathan but is called "Boomer" because he was always running into things. He is 18, in the marines & the family still calls him Boomer. My youngest's name is Patricia, but she was dubbed PJ when she was about 18 months old (her middle name is Anne, so go figure). This has taken on many variations: Peej, Peanut Butter & jelly, pudge...She tried to escape the PJ, but finally gave up & uses it with friends and family. She's 28.

Good luck w/ the book. I can hardly wait to read it & buy it for my friends w/ young kids.

carrie & troy keiser said...

I think nearly everyone messes up the names of their kids.... my mom use to start at the top (of 8) and go down to the last ... someone was bound to come, right it sounded like this: ColleenSeanMartinBrandonCarrieRyanneCLancyMegan! In my home the girls are always bieng called Shanvanna (Shantel and Savanna) except for EmmaLece she is always Savanna because she is so much like her.. The boys are always Robby... who knows why that it? It does make for good entertainment if you're the children! As always enjoying your blog and all the comments from others like me.

Guinevere Meadow said...

We had picked out our son's name before he was born, but we kept it a secret from our friends so that we wouldn't hear stories like, "I knew someone with that name and they were awful." So our friends picked a "name of the week" for him until he was born. Names they chose included:

Ivan Douglas
Sebastian Douglas
and my favorite,

Rico Napoleon.

(We named the kid Chris. lol!)

Cheri said...

I live 20 minutes from Puxsutawney! LOL

We have a pattern for our kids names too... it didn't start out that way, but it ended that way. They all end in "an"

Anonymous said...

You have a great way of adding humor to the truth. I just had my first child in January and it took my husband and I 8 months to choose a name. Like you (and many others), we went through the process of thinking like a 2nd grader and coming up w/ every nickname we could to make sure a name was suitable. It also couldn't be common and had to fit w/ my husband's name as the middle name. After all that work and testing a few names we came to two conclusions: someone will always hate the name you choose while someone else loves it and kids will be made fun of regardless of the name you choose b/c there will always be something to pick on. That's when we decided to go w/ the name we loved and honor family. His name is Amza.

For what it's worth, if you would have gone w/ Punxsutawney your older kids could have called him Punx which I'm finding very amusing for some reason.

Becky said...

Oh, does that sound familiar, lol! My grandma had 7 kids Ken, Jim, Lee, Rex, Pam, Ann, Jon...and though they were spread out over quite a few years with a gap before the last three were born, she went sputtering through every single name before finally hitting on the right one.
For the longest time, I got called a blustering "Pam-Glad-Beck"... Glad was my grandma's sister, and Pam was my aunt. My grandma had 22 grandchildren, though, so I can forgive her for it. ;0)
My kids, Jericho and Judah (after Biblical Places), are most often referred to as "Koko" and "BooBoo"...though we got a kick out of one of our friends calling our youngest, "Judah-man!"
Love your blog, Dawn (and thanks for stopping by mine!) God Bless You and your family!

Anonymous said...

Too funny! I loved how you described calling your children, "I spit and sputter, going through a list of disjointed syllables." I can't imagine how the mom who has 16 children whose names all begin with "J" does it! She must say, "YOU over there!" What possesses people to make it harder than it already is? Or maybe it's easier, just make the "J" sound and flub the rest. My daughter's name is Lillian, and her sister calls her "Yid". :-)

Mom*2*5*princesses*&*2*peapod*girls said...

Wow! I understand completely! Actually, I am one of the crazy people who ended up with 5 girls, the youngest 2 are twins, who all have 2 syllable "C" names. We didn't mean for it to be that way, but after our first (Chandler) was born, we couldn't come up with anything that ANYONE could agree on. My Mom was listening to the radio and heard the name "Carleigh"...well, it stuck. The spelling comes from my middle name which is "Leigh". That was perfet! She's named after ME!! Then we had Cailyn, and the babies are Camryn and Carsyn. Carsyn was going to be Cassidy until I realized that all the other names were 2 syllables...I didn't want her to be left out or feel wronged when she grew up...you know "Wow, everyone else has 2 syllable names, mine has 3, didn't you like me"? Mom's EVERYWHERE are groaning at the thought! Anyway, I decided on Carsyn and had to fight tooth and nail to get my husband to agree on it. Hence, my 5 girls with 2-syllable "C" names. It's great! Everyone screws it up! LOL!!!!

By the way, on a side note....I have cousins who have kids named

Sudie
Jebidiah
and best of all
Elkania....they call him Elkin. Tell me he isn't going to be called ALL kinds of names when he gets to school! UGH!

Shawn said...

When I was teaching at the University of Illinois, I had a graduate student who said her Dad didn't bother to try to remember names--he referred to his kids by birth order. Whenever he wanted her he'd holler "Five! Get over here!"

Anonymous said...

Reading your blog has become the highlight of my day!

The name thing is so true. Case in point: my son was born. His father wanted to name the baby after himself despite my suggestions otherwise. So, here he was, William Lee, Junior. Now what do we call him? I REFUSED to have a child named "Junior"...this was not an option. And, with a little foresite, decided it would be unwise to have two "Billy"'s in the house. We called him "Lee."

Fast forward 4 years. Lee's father and I are divorced and I began dating my now-husband. His name is...you guessed it...Lee. So, I went from not wanting to have two Billy's to having two Lee's. It gets worse. Remember the Junior thing? My daughter is born, and as children (sometimes unfortunately...lol) do, she begins to talk. She is unable to say the word "brother." It comes out "Bubba." It stuck. EVERYONE calls my son Bubba!

(Admittingly, even I have begun calling him Bubba!)

~Kymber~

Anonymous said...

My husband has had the nickname "shoe" since he was 14. No one can really be sure where the nickname came from. Now, our 3 year old son's nickname is "hammer" (we don't even know how to use tools in our house ~ not sure where this nickname came from either).

Also, no offense to Jackson, but look out. I used to teach school and hadn't even thought of this. When I was pregnant with my second child I wanted to name it Jackson (turned out to be a girl, so that didn't work), I was stopped when my brother pointed out all the Jack names that could occur (Jack Sh**, Jack Of*, Jack in the box, Jack be nimble Jack be quick, Jack of all trades, Jack AS*, etc). :)

Allie said...

I personally believe in naming children after they are born, I have a 3 hours of labour with easy pushing name and a 4 days of labour followed by 5 hours of pushing name, then really, it's up to them.

Hoffman Family said...

WOW! I am impressed that you actually READ and respond to your comments. How DO you find the time? I LOVE your blog - but it makes my look boring. I have it linked on my blog...hope you don't mind.

Anonymous said...

We have a very Irish last name, so we wanted at least to prevent our kids from funny looks from future teachers (we nixed Sayid right away, for instance), but we didn't want to go TOO Irish (so no Padraig or Seamus either). So, Matthew and Ryan it was. But since those are common names (yeah, but I LIKE them!), they always have the "O" after them to differentiate them from the other one/two in the class. I should have realized that Ryan O. would fast become Rhino, and in fact, I started using it myself from week one when I realized he was a force to be reckoned with. People think it's funny (as in odd) until they get to know him and see how appropriate it is (I think he and your Spaz are twins separated by different mothers--any chance yours is also a February 2004 baby boy?). And who says kids can't choose their own names?

Love your blog...keep it up and let me know how I can be the first to buy your book!

Reen said...

Just found your blog and love it!

My kids are both DeLeia (Devyn and Leia). You're right, they cannot possibly take me seriously when I screw up their names.

Mich said...

You crack me up!

Ginger said...

My eldest is Joshua. I didn't want it shortened to Josh (my brother was Josh). Fine until he graduated. He's been Casper and now Jamaica. Casper I understood - he's the palest white kid I know.

My second child (Brooke) wanted to call her new baby sister (Morgan) Wilber - and did for a while. That was in her "Charlotte's Web" period. :^)

I only have the three, yet get them confused all the time. I also do the sputtering syllable thing, but I throw in animal names as well. So we have JoshBrooMorgAbrCosDelStewLibKitkat. The ferret is safe - he is always out of trouble in his cage!

dana said...

Although I have only one child, I still had a naming dilemma - what name can I give my son that is truly just a man’s name? This comes from 43 years of having a cross-gender name and hundreds of people saying, "Dana? I thought that was only a man’s name!" What did I chose? Cameron. Although this was 12 years ago, I clearly was (am) not one to follow entertainment news. Who the heck was Cameron Diaz anyway? So, my son is now saddled with a cross-gender name, but that doesn’t matter, we just call him Cozmo *wink*

houseofdanes said...

My kids are now 26, 23 almost 21 and almost 18 and I still get mad when people call them by nicknames... I named them Benjamin ( who I do call Benji), Michael, Jacob ( occasionally Jakey to get him mad) and Samantha... my biggest pet peeve is when people call Samantha... Sam.. what was I thinking with three sons to name my daughter, my baby girl, Samantha so she can also have a boy name!
So they go by Benji or Ben, Mike, Jake and Sam... ooooh it burns me!
However, then my new kids" my three great danes" Rufus, Dixie and Marely... my husband and I call Rufie, hey Buddy ( I swear he thinks his name is Buddy sometimes), Dixie is Dixers or Dix or peanut and Marley is Marls Barkly or Mars.... so why am I being so picky about my real kids having nicknames when I name my "other" kids and give them nicknames?? What's good for the goose right??? WWW.houseofdanes.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

We let our older son David pick our our younger son's name....he picked Brian which I have to say is better than we expected!!! We were sure David was going to pick "Billy Blazes" or "Bob the builder"....and honestly I'm not sure we would have turned that around. Just thought I'd share that we got our kids involved with the name picking too!! :-)

Anonymous said...

My husband had the honor of being named after his father and grandfather. His grandfather had a heavy German accent so when he called his grandson Davie the third, it sounded like turd. He's nearly 57 years old and his cousins still call him The Turd.

johnsonfamilyof6 said...

I'm with George Forman, just name them all the same thing and they will all come running when you shout "George!"

Anonymous said...

"My dad used to call my poor sister "Corky". Corky was the dog. We thought he was crazy. Now I know the truth. We made him crazy."

Huh?? Dog?? mmmmmmm ...... not so funny.

Korkie

Kristen said...

Hey now! I'm from Punxsutawney. the town's mascot is the woodchuck. I can't imagine, with your abhorition to barf, if someone were to stick your child with the nickname "Chuck." Upchuck anyone? The name came from indians and means town of the sandflies. Maybe that means mosquito, dunno. In any case, a blood sucking spew hurling card snatching child, I'm sure this is what you've always wanted to be reminded of. Keep it simple, name em all Darryl.

have a great day hun!

LBT said...

As the oldest of 6 kids, I remember how hard it was to come up with names by the time Mom and Dad hit Kid #5 and Kid #6. However has a teacher, I have run across some very interesting names myself: Hose (pronounced Jose), Armoni (as in Giorgio) and Mister are my favorites.

Bethles said...

I also sent you an eBay mail (you are famous among the Army wives boards now, btw). When I am in town visiting my parents, I would be more than happy to give you FREE babysitting, so you can go to the store child-free! :)

Carolyn said...

Haha!! I know this one well too! My twins are Matthew and Katie. NEVER had any intention of calling my son "Matt" but it did indeed evolve, and I find myself calling him Matt too, mainly because he prefers it. My daughter, however, bitterly resents being called "Ma-Katie." Shrieks at me ... "I am NOT Ma-Katie!!!!"

My younger two, Dusty and Ryan, always get mixed up too. Sometimes Rusty, or Dyan, you know.....sigh.

I was one of three, and constantly got called "Sparky" who was the dog.

I love your blog! Can't wait for the book! I am so thrilled for you too!

Anonymous said...

As usual...you are so right!! My sister and i grew up as "Can-erry" and "Ker-andy" ...I'm a mom of 6 kids, whose names (first and middle) are alphabetical: Amber Brittney, Brandon Charles, Cory David, Danielle Evon, Emily Faith and Fyebe Grace....I get them wrong all the time! *L*

~~Candy

londak said...

I live in Tallahassee, that is too funny! I have a friend with 3 girls named after flowers... Rose, Daisy, and Iris... I think you gotta love the drugs they give mothers when in labor..

By the way I LOVE your blog!

Jennifer said...

My baby sister's nickname is actually Nemo. The second one up from her named her that when she was in the womb. I'm the oldest of six, your blog reminds me of my family so much! (Except most of us are grown up now, I'm 22, then the rest of my siblings are 20, 18, 16, 4, and almost 1.)

Candace Salima (LDS Nora Roberts) said...

I'm not even a mother but two days and nights with my nephews and nieces and the all children in one name just started spitting out of my mouth!

Rjj71483 said...

Well, it could be worse I was called Radar (unfortunately I am a girl) and my sister was and still is Crisco. You know, lard in a can??

Anonymous said...

I keep telling my kids we should have named them Jazz, Rock, & Country. I think it goes well with the last name Music.

Alicia said...

I think you did pretty well with the names, all things considering. I've seen poor baby girls named Talladega and Daytona -- yes, after Nascar.

Christie said...

I've stopped trying to remember their names and call them by the color of their shirt. "Yellow Stop it!" And I only have 2!
Love your blog, makes me feel human again :) Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I have 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 chickens and babysit 7 kids full time. No one ever knows what I'm going to call them. Most of the time, they just correct me when I say the wrong name, unless it's a dog or chicken's name. Then they crack up and think I'm nuts. It seems to be very entertaing to them! LOL

Dianne said...

I have a gorgeous little boy with a beautiful name--Thomas Gregory.

What do we call him? Skinny Monkey Boy. We also have Big Bad Bubba, and Bimmer Jimmy Seven. (I don't know why on that last one--he informed us that that was his name. )

Diana said...

When my nephew was born he was given the name Payton... so far so good. My daughter, who was barely two at the time, and unable to pronounce "Baby Payton", called him "Baby Satan". Luckily it never stuck. Although I've heard rumors that he lives up to the moniker every once in a while.

Love your blog.

momto6 said...

My grandma called me Heidi majority of my childhood....that also was her dog!! My kids are all "ka" sounds so I just say Kah and hope the rest comes out OK.

Love your blog, even thought about you in church yesterday as my 2yr old put her $1 in the offering but traded it for the $5 and later my 4 yr old "cut" in the communion line. Definately church needs a chapter in your book!!

Dianne said...

I forgot, too--my sisters and I all have names that begin with a D. Both of my sisters are green-eyed blondes, while I am a dark-eyed brunette. My uncle gave up on getting our names right, and I became "Hey you with the dark hair"!

mdmwood said...

I used to live in a town called Clayton. It is outside of Raleigh, North Carolina. Names are hard, I know someone whose child is named Jet. The older brother was allowed to name the child and the father is a pilot. Appropriate I guess. I know someone else who wanted to name their son Hunter Green but the wife vetoed that one. Dawn,thanks again for making me smile.

Michele W.

Mary said...

I call my kids by the dogs names sometimes, too. That's because they have taken all my functioning brain cells and turned them to jelly.

What I want to know is-
how did you have six kids and you still cannot clean up vomit?

I say this with empathy, as my DH can't do it either. But he's not home with them all day. But what happens when they vomit, do you send them outside and spray them down with the hose or what?

Anonymous said...

Not sure which Clayton he's named after, but when I was growing up we used to camp near Clayton, New York every summer.

Anonymous said...

You have a gift for writing humour. Thanks for sharing it so generously in this blog.

I have two sons: Alexandre and Philip. With wear and tear over the years these got shortened to Al and Phil, but quite frequently they get called Phil-I-mean-Al and Al-I-mean-Phil. I really do know the difference and I'm not at all confused about who I'm talking to but the names just don't come out right. There must be a scientific explanation for this.
Giny in Canada

Anonymous said...

Love this column - you are hilarious! I have 3 kids (boy,girl,boy) and it's hard to get their names out a lot of the time! My oldest wanted to name my daughter Cinnamon or Hola (this would have been about 6 years ago when he was 4) and recently we met a woman who introduced herself as Cinnamon (she had a sister named Rainbow) and my oldest looked at me triumphantly and later said, "You COULD have used it!) Well, I suppose...

Dennis said...

WEll, at least you didn't name the kid after Sylacauga.

lisa's chaos said...

If you decide to have another child we have a town named Lodi that I think is cute. :)

I tried to get my daughter to name her newborn Montana but that didn't work.

I have four kids, one of them named Gage and it would always happen that the sputtering thin while trying to reprimand one of them they would end up being "Gay-Haden" or "Gay- Mikal" OOPS

D said...

LOL..I only have half your brood (3 boys) and reading about not being able to sound authorative (did I spell that right?) when you've forgotten the names is sooo true! I mean, I just don't have the same effect when I scream out BranPatMaa-aa-thew (crescendo when it comes to the Maa-aa-thew) as I do when I get the name(s) right on the first try. LOL

Anonymous said...

Jackson had it right. We should just leave it to kids to name their siblings.

My son wanted to name my neice "Baby Cheese" and our newest baby "Baby Pickle". The two are still affectionately called by their food product names. We even made them onesies with a picture of a wedge of cheese and pickle.

Angie said...

Your blog is hilarious. I wish I could say that I could relate but I only have a one kid blog. I love your kids' names by the way.

Kirsten said...

It's not like you named you child Eudora or Edgerton ... while they are cities, they're also names. and, might i say, Clayton is a mighty fine name, it's my sons name as well.

Dorothy said...

Hubby is the youngest of 4 boys-always called Jack,Don,Dave,Rich.
I'm one of 10-6 biological and 3 recently adopted siblings. My dad used to call the older girls Lau,dor,pat and the older boys rob,geo,mik,ed. Now he just calls the boys handsome and the girls beautiful.

It doesn't matter what name I called them, if I am looking at them and talking to them then they are the one I mean.

Jude said...

My husband and I had so much trouble picking out a name for our first daughter that we started thinking of names immediately for subsequent girls. It took us two years to think of another girl's name we both liked.

Of course, this next baby is a boy... *sigh*

Ami said...

Sometimes I just yell "YOU" and then they start laughing......whatever they know that I am talking to them :) Also speaking of nicknames.........my son told me quite proudly his last year (first year of middleschool) was and still is apparently PANTS. Yes Pants. WHY? Why do they come up with these things? LOL.

Anonymous said...

Houston, woo hoo!!! That's where I live!! Houston Rocks!

Anyhow, Love reading your blog. I may not have ANY kids, but I do have entirely too many animals, and I do the same thing with their names -- Pip-Lilo-DEE DEE!!! (she's usually the culprit). Sometimes the poor prairie dogs get thrown in, as in Pip-Petie-Prec-Lilo-DEE DEE!!!!

Anonymous said...

Choosing names for children is one of the things I hadn't really ever thought about. I'd always maintained that I would never have any children as I wasn't in the least maternal and therefore wouldnt have the slightest clue where to start.
Fourteen years and six children later I think Ive slightly changed that story. Im still not maternal and the childrens antics reflect yours, Dawn, in so many ways. Starting isnt the problem knowing when it will stop is the real factor here!

Our surname begins with an M and my husband and I still hadnt figured out a name for our first son right up to the point of sitting in the registrars office on the last day of the six month period we were required to register him. It seemed that he was doomed to be "spud" all his life.
The usual names had been thought of and discarded along the themes of nicknames and possible cruel names that could be given later in life but eventually we decided on Samuel Alexander which when added to the M the initials became the shortened version of the first name.
Two years later he was followed by ( "splodge") Thomas Owin and then two years after that("squidge") James Ian.
We had thought that this was to be our last child as I then suffered a miscarriage - again after a two year gap - which put me off having any more children after suffering the trauma that miscarriages can bring.
However it was not the end and - yep you guessed it - two years later I had another son ("smudge").
His name took alot of deliberation but as we both weren't getting any younger and thought this was definately our last child we named him after the last remaining males of the family line.
Robert Phillip Terence Herbert! A bit of a mouthful but at least he'd have a choice of names later on.
Two years later - sound familiar yet - we were blessed with a little girl - not so little as it turned out as she weighed 8lb 13 oz ("midge") - but loved none the less as the doctors had told me that as my previous miscarriages had been girls maybe I would be one of those unlucky ladies that would only be able to have boys! Why unlucky Ive no idea , but I digress.
Choosing boys names had been fairly straight forward but after many deliberations we decided to give her the initials of her Grandmothers maiden name K T - sounds like Katy. Its a reversal of the boys pattern and it works but the computers dont like it very much when you just put in the letters, the registrar tried for nearly thirty minutes before giving up and sending the documentation via mail.
Our latest addition - yet another two years , oh and we finally bought a tv, ("mog") - was named after another set of initials. This time those of my maternal Grandmother who originated in Wales (UK)and had MMM as her initials. Her maiden name was Morgan so I chose that as the first name. Our surname begins with M anyway but I wanted to chose a middle name for our son that reflected his Welsh ancestry and something for a little bit of fun. We finally settled on Maddog - pronounced Maddock - and most people Ive spoken to think its great although others dont seem to get the point!
One of the best names Ive heard of was from a long time friend of mine who after several years of trying gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. His father , the big boss, wanted to give him a strong and robust name that would stand him in good stead for the rest of his life, something that said leader, that everyone would look up to and remember and the office took bets on the name for weeks before the birth.


The day of the announcement finally came and the office ground to a halt in anticipation of the naming of the son of the big boss.
Inevitably the name didnt last five seconds before his new nickname was chosen.


The name ..... Richard Tempest....
........ Windy Dick!!! which he remains to this day.

I will be standing by for the next installment as it rolls through the inbox, Dawn, keep smiling.

Amber said...

Dawn you are awesome. This blog was so on the money. By the way, I live in Albuquerque and thanks for spelling it right! I have a friend who could never understand the whole "not naming them after someone that you hated in highschool" thing and my husband tried to think of every possible nickname for our kids (Ainsley and Zechariah) but like you said, they always end up with something...like "Pookie"...this is what my mom calls my daughter and it drives me batty! Thanks so much for the laughs.

Anonymous said...

My two boys are Jackson and Luke. I always wanted to name my son, Clayton, but my last name is Day,
"Clay Day"! Didn't you mention a high therapy bill???? We thought of naming a girl, Holly...Holiday!
Anyway, Your blog is great, Love it!

Yoda Mamma said...

I totally understood Clayton...my son was born in Clayton NY, I was born in Clayton Mo. And No, it was Not planned that way...
Congrats on the blog and your success.
Akiba

Laura in VA said...

Does anyone ever read this far down? :)

Growing up in a military family, we always had wacky neighbors. One family had all the children named after their father. Boys and girls were called Terry - so bizarre.

We also had neighbors whose 3 year old thought her name was Ohellno.

Craziness didn't end there though. Our family dog thought he was called Godammit, which proved hilarious when my father would spew with profanity during DIY projects.

Me? I catch myself calling my husband my kids' names. Not a kodak moment when you see me clutch my mouth in horror as I catch myself calling him Olivia! :)

Must be a mom-brain thing. We've got way too much going on to worry about trivial things like names!

BeckyKay said...

When his new boy cousin was born, my 4 year old son wanted to call him "Happy Feet"!

Amber said...

Dawn, you're awesome! I loved this blog. I'm from Albuquerque...thanks for spelling it right! I have a friend who never understood the whole "not naming them after someone you hated in highschool" thing and my husband tried really hard to thing of just about every nickname he could for our kids (Ainsley and Zechariah). It is funny what names people still come up with like "Pookie", my mom's name for my daughter and boy does it drive me batty! Thanks for the laughs!

KamiMari said...

Seriously! I know a girl (I went to high school with her) who named her daughter Newportia and it wasn't after a place like newport News or anything so mundane or simple. No. See this girl smoked and her favorite brand of cigs were Newports... (You see where I'm going with this don't you?)
So she found out she was pregnant and wanted to be original. Can't get more origina then naming your child after your favorite cigs...
I wonder sometimes if the kid knows she's named after these little tobacco sticks that cause lung cancer and emphysema.....

Tami said...

I happened upon this tshirt site today and thought you might like some of these shirts ... or you could make some even better sayings yourself. :-)

http://www.cafepress.com/evilgeniusstore/1225539

Beth said...

My mom always called switched my brother's name (Michael) with the dog's name (Skipper.) One time in the middle of the night I heard my mom laughing hysterically. I went into her room to see what was so funny. She had woken up, gone into her bathroom where the dog was behind the toilet. She said, "Michael, why are you sleeping behind the toilet?!" :)

Kerri said...

Hey, I have a Joseph and just can't imagine calling him anything BUT Joey or Joe Cool. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I can relate to calling the kids by the wrong name we are a blended family part time and with a Jaymina a Jazmyn and Braydon and a Zack and Rick (hubby) and a Richard and of course to confuse things even more we call our daughter Jay (what I wanted in the first place never let men fill out birth certifcate information drunk!!) and my name is shay so quite often if hubby calls out Jay I answer and vice versa when I am cranky at hubby or son I normally get the two R's Mixed up...If we are with my dad and neice it is more confusing with Shay, Jay, Ray, and Shayne (born on my birthday!!) So we all tend to answer at once!

I think you done a great job with choosing your kids names..and not matter how careful you are they always seem to find nicknames or shorten it somehow.

I remember my mother telling me that she called my brother warren because no one could shorten it guess who was the first one to call him Wazza? Yep that is right my mother...so now we have Unca Wazza I don't think my kids have ever called him anything else.

keep up the good work

shay

Anonymous said...

Being from Texas, everyone here knows about George Foreman from his boxing days as well as from his commercials selling hamburger grills. He has 5 boys and I believe that all 5 boys have been given the name "George"!!

Muggle Mom said...

maps and phone books make the best baby name books! i love looking to places and last names for ideas.

justmylife said...

I only have three so, names weren't a problem. I don't think I could come up with any more.God willing I am DONE....I really couldn't stand it!!!:)

Kristee Schurr said...

In my family we call it "Roll Call".

After a while, when anybody would call out for another family member, no matter who it was, we'd all come running. It was far more efficient!

Anonymous said...

Our son's name is McCoy, but we call him Mac and sometimes it's Big Mac. One day while we were out, a lady heard me call him Big Mac and quickly asked when we were having Quarter Pounder? That was 4 years ago and I wasn't even pregnant then. But I'm pleased to report that Quarter Pounder has arrived and we named him Seth.

Just found your blog this weekend. Loved the ebay auction. I'll be reading you everyday. I don't know how you do it with 6. I only have 2 and think my hands are full. I can't even imagine!!

Marsha in the South

Nicole P. said...

You are right!!!
My boys are William and we call him Squilliam. That came from Squillaim Tentacles in Spongebob.
My other son is Ayden and we all call him Squishy....because he was really fat and well....squishy when he was a baby.

Becky said...

I know what you mean. No matter what you name your baby, your baby will grow up with a different name all together. My daughter is Angelina...she is Angel or Angie in school. Curtis is Kurt in school, Gregory is Greg and Samuel is Sam. It used to urk me that people would shorten the names..however I am proud to say that Curtis is not called Junior. He is named after daddy. Instead of doing Curtis JR I did Curtis II(second) just to make sure that people would not call him Junior! For that I am proud! I had to argue with friends and family for months about this but they finally seen my point! can't call someone Junior if JR is not in the name!!
My boys all have blonde hair. Sam has curls so I can pick him out of the pig pile. Curtis and Gregory...Im always saying curtory or Gregits.
I like the names you picked out for your kids! Its different but in a good way!!
Keep up the blog cause I love it!!

Anonymous said...

It's got to the stage in my house where my kids answer to number 1, number 2 etc down the number 5, yes my 2 year old already answers to number 5! Maybe I should have just named them that....

Mandy
Perth, Western Australia

tia said...

So funny :D

I really enjoy reading your blog. I'm sure life can't always be easy, but I appreciate your sense of humor :]

God bless!

Kim said...

A name that doesn't conjure up an image of some horrible person from high school??? Try being a preschool teacher!!

If you ever have a moment of weakness and have baby #7 ... I have an adorable little girl in my care named Memphis.

Anonymous said...

LOL! I named my son Aaron...nice, simple..right? His friends call him "duck". Forget it....

Nicki said...

My ex-mother-in-law called my first son Booby the first 2 years of his life! I'm not even sure how she got that one, but I'm sure glad it stopped. Can you imagine the embarrasment she could have caused him as he gets older?

An Iowa Mom said...

Oh my ... I am sooo with you. I call my girls EmmMolly. They are Emily and Molly. It's been 2 years and I STILL do that almost every single time. They hate it.

My Grandma used to call my brother SKIP ... the dog!

Amy said...

You just made me quite literally LOL with the trying to sound serious part. :) I only have two kids, and I mix their names up sometimes... I'd be a mess with six!

momma said...

Hey atleast you could think up a name. I had 3 boys first and my last 2 girls. I always dreamed of dd names until I became pregnant with girls. I ended up letting my step MIL and mother name our last dd and dhs aunt and my son named my first dd.My first dd was born not long after 9/11 ,my oldest son wanted to name her Hope .How could I resist? Then my mom named my 2nd dd Paige.. So I have a Hope and a Paige..If you would have told me 15 years ago thats what my girls names would be I would have laughed in your face !LOL!

Anonymous said...

My youngest just graduated from high school. You remember how your mom would call you by your whole name when you were really in trouble? Well, I used to play a sort of game where I linked one name onto another, ane by the time he was a toddler, he was David chase louis john paul evan alexander graham bell......... He finished school pretty sure those were really all his name. You would think that the Alexander Graham Bell thing would be a tip off, but I guess not. Of course, I have dogs named Rhett and Scarlet (adopted them with those names, thank you) so naturally I named the cats Bonnie and Clyde, and although my students laugh out loud, no body seems really sure who those people are.....
Thanks for the laughs, keep up the good work,
High Desert Mom

Lori Ann said...

How about two kids with the same name? Well, my mom isn't that crazy, but she did remarry. I am "Lori Ann", the eldest of her three. My step-sister, the youngest of his four, is, you guessed it, "Lori Ann". They tell everyone that they liked the name so much, they named the oldest and the youngest the same.

I have two of my own, 6 and 11. I don't mix them up too often, but I do call my 6-year-old son by my brother's name . . . . a lot!

Love your writing!!

I am also from the Chicago suburbs! Took my SAT or ACT at Fremd . . . many moons ago . . . even many moons before you set foot in that school!!!

melody is slurping life said...

I only have 4 sons, 1 husband and 1 dog and I never get anyone's name correct when calling out in that moment of mommy rage when you need to nail the culprit. They just giggle and snort and think of which home would be best to put me in.

Love your blog.

Crazy Raven Productions said...

Could be worse. I wanted to name my baby sister Monorail. I thought it was awesome. Mom, not so much.

Snyder5 said...

Great kids names! I have one named Bryton for Brighton Beach, Brooklyn :)
Anyway, I'm here because I read your ebay description for the pokemon cards! I'm totally not bidding, sorry... lol but you rock! ;) Just showin some love.....

Karen said...

Ok this is all sooo true. How about when you use the wrong name, but Don't realize it until they correct you! That's frustrating!

Erin said...

I've been lurking since your eBay post (which had me in stiches) but this one woke up my husband. Or, to be clear, my laughing woke him up. LOVE your posts. SO funny! Keep it up! We all need the comic relief and we KNOW how you feel.

Warm wishes,
Erin

Amber said...

Take Tallahassee DOWN!!!! I just moved from there and I hated it!!! you can't breathe

~A

AlisonH said...

My youngest of four, now in college, was four months old before we realized what we'd done to him. John L. Hyde. Now, what's a nickname for John? Give him a doctorate and then say it real quick.

Bob said...

It happens to us all of the time. The kids just smile and wait for us to remember their names.

marisa said...

I always remember to call my daughter Gracie (whose first name is actually Donna after my grandmother, but it would be cruel to call a baby of her generation that!) by her name, but she is the one who trips up our names! She only turned two in May, but she calls me Daddy, or Daddy Mommy, or Mommy Mama Mommy. Sometimes she just calls me Marisa, which is my name.

ztoamom said...

Another lurker, but I should have commented last night when I read your latest and there were ZERO comments. Coulda been at the top; like you, I read them all. The hardest to keep from guffawing about and waking the sleepig man was the person sans kids who plans to name them "You" and "The Other One" - I am laughing again as I type it! My sister sent me your link to cheer me - oh how it did.

The Rocking Pony said...

The naming game is way overrated. We went the traditional route with our kids but have since realized that we could have had more fun with it.

We've got dogs named Gus, Gertrude and Matilda.

Angela said...

AHHH Nemo....yes that is what my husband wanted to name our second son. Thankfully I was able to change his mind and now we have a Max. Once again we are in the name business, and only have 3 months left to decide. I have been reading your blogs faithfully since I subscribed, and you are one of the highlights of my day (along with the postal mail!) I have three small boys and one more boy on the way so I can relate to almost everyone of your blogs. Thank you for letting me know I am not the only one who experiences the every day dramas!

Rick said...

My dad always said, "insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids."

Mom of 2 Boys said...

Our youngest son is named Carson. our 2 year old for the longest time called him Car-keys. Now, he affectionately calls him "Baby Poopies".

Anonymous said...

My Grandmother always called me Molly, who was her cat. Or I was any of the other grandchildren of which there is one more girl or two boys. If that wasn't bad enough my mother calls me Jane, who is my aunt and her sister. Apperently no one in my family is quite sure of my name.

Love your stories!! Helps me remember that my family is not the only crazy family around!!!

SoBeBabies.com, Inc said...

I've only got 2 girls and we don't know their names. Sad, isn't it?

La La said...

I am a fraternal twin. My mom didn't know she was having twins. She wanted to name me Sheila Denise. Three weeks before we were born, the doctor told my mom that that she was having twins. So, she decided to name my sister
L-e-l-i-a after a friend of hers who spelled it that way. My mom's middle name is B-e-r-n-e-i-c-e, so she added that to my sister's name. That's not even how you spell NIECE, but whatever. But that wasn't good enough. She had to change
S-h-e-i-l-a to S-h-e-l-i-a and D-e-n-i-s-e to D-e-n-e-i-c-e. So, NOW neither of us know how the "i before e rule works", and we were always called Sha-leela by everyone because they thought it was funny. NOT FUNNY. Lelia married a man named Lee and now I call them Leelaaa. So, Clayton is a great name. None of your kids names rhyme, nor are they spelled funky, so I think you did an awesome job! Congratulations on your new found fame and success! Blessings to you and your 6 pack!

TracyKM said...

Something is really wacky with the comments window.
I've been to Clayton, NY. I can think of many other places to name children after. We almost had a Preston if #3 had been a boy. Many of the names I liked that were places are located close to where we are and I thought that'd be odd for the kid unless we moved away, LOL.

Norkio said...

Houston makes me think of that disgusting porn "actress." What does that say about me, huh?

My mom used to call me Dusty. That was our dog's name. I learned to just answer instead of protesting. :-)

Lisa said...

Hi.

I just received your ebay listing via email from a friend in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I also have six children and just wanted to comment on how TRUE your trip to Wal-Mart seemed to me. Thank you for the laughs. As I read your words, I was literally looking into my own family!

Anonymous said...

I had to laugh, you just brought back some great memories! My grandfather had nicknames for all of the grandkids, all animals. I was squirrel and my brother was skunk...I had cousins that were bear, bird, horse, 'coon...ok I htink you get the picture.

Anyway, thanks for triggering those fond memories!

Cateline said...

My dad used to call me and my sister by each other's names (and there's only two of us - Catherine and Barbara. NOT HARD) until I started calling him "Mom". He got the hint.

Elizabeth F. said...

I have 3 kids, all with "Z" names. I never get it right when I'm calling one of them either. LOL! Great post.

Anonymous said...

My mother raised Dalmatians and they got names like Debby, Duchess, and Darby. Then I came along and she named me Diana. I can't tell you how many times I got called Darby.

Adam said...

Believe me, this isn't a mom thing - us dads don't know the kids' names, either. In reality, the kids are Alister, Elliot, Isabelle, and Chester. In practice, it is usually Al-El-CHESTER!

So we just embraced the concept. Now it's Al-El-Chester-Fred-Sam-George. The Fred, Sam, and George have to come at the end (whenever we've given up trying to find the real name) and in that order. Even our kids have started using it: Mom-Dad-Fred-Sam-George.

If we want both of the twins at the same time, it is ChesterBelle. Isabelle is the only one with a lasting nickname, though. Isabelle was too hard to say, so she became Igabelle, which got shortened to Iggy (and sometimes Iggy Pop).

Love the blog and can't wait for the book. Keep it up!

Luv Angel Musik Babee said...

LOL I get my boys mixed up, there are 5 years difference but they both act 2 at times!

I love your blog, always a laugh to be had!

Kimberly said...

This is just too cute. I only have 3 year old twins and a 13 yr old niece and I have the name mess up thing happen to me all the time. I have called my kids by the animals names too. LOL.. My grandma always calles me and my sister by the wrong name, but Im so used to it, I just expect it and when she gets it right, I think "Kimberly... who is that again" lol. Your awsome Dawn. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face.
hugs,
Kim

LilBit said...

Oh my,
my children are going to hate me!! My first one is Ezekiel. His name came to us shortly after we found out we were having a boy. The "hate me" part is his middle name.. Edward.. which we HAD to use b/c it's family tradition.. it's the initials that really seal the deal. E.E.W. And.. boy do I say that a lot while changing the kid's diapers!

Now.. our 2nd son.. we didn't decide on a name till I was 36 weeks. I called him No Name until then... my dh found out that "Nemo" meant no name in Latin or something.. and from Nemo we got Nehemiah. I wouldn't allow him to be called Nemo.. (because Nemo is a fish that Disney created.. or a sea captain.. either way.. I wasn't fond of it).. so.. we nn'ed him Nehem. Somehow though.. we managed to stay on trend... Ezekiel and Nehemiah are both Old Testament prophets..
I'm not sure what we'll do if we have another boy... poor child won't ever get a name!! It took way to long to find Nehem's!! :)

Thanks for the giggles!

KARA said...

this is so funny and so true, I think I am the only person in my entire family of about 30 called by there name, even my little bro who is called Kieron is called maxerine and my sister shannon is dora, work them out, the name will always change and my mom can never remember which one we are and there is only 4 of us.
By the way I would like to make your girlz a cute little bracelet each if willing would you email me your addy to send too.
Kara
xx
kara@innocentcharms.co.uk

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