I sat in a sweltering 98 degree heat at Lexi’s softball game tonight. It was humid, but there was a warm breeze that made it bearable. After an hour and fifteen minutes, the girls were still in the second inning. (When fourth grade girls learn how to pitch, there are a LOT of balls.) I’d been sitting on the bleachers for about an hour and a half when Lexi finally got up to bat. I grabbed my camera and got up, planning to head over to first base in order to get some good pictures of her batting. I stood up, climbed down from the bleachers and started walking. I noticed a couple people looking at me strangely, but didn’t think much of it. Until I looked down.
I have several pairs of 100% cotton capris that I wear in the summer. They cover my fat legs and they’re super-cool and breathable. They also show every little drop of moisture in vivid color-changing, magical wonderfulness. As I craned my neck and glanced down, I noticed that I had distinct butt sweat marks on my pants. Oh yeah, now that’s an attractive sight. It looked like I’d had an incontinence problem. So, that’s why people were looking at me oddly. Excellent.
So I stood there, snapping pictures of Lexi and wondering what to do. I could just stand there by the fence, giving everyone on the opposing team a glimpse of my lovely butt-sweat pants. I could just sit down there in the grass and pretend to be the team photographer while continuing to snap pictures of all the girls. I could walk back to the bleachers while exclaiming loudly, “Oh look at that! My kids got me with the spray bottle of water!” while I feigned frustration. I could look at the other parents and offer a feeble explanation. “Butt-sweat. It’s hot. I really should’ve stopped at the store on the way to the game and gotten a frozen margarita. Cotton pants. It’s really hot.”
I finally decided to walk back to the bleachers while explaining to everyone within earshot, “Remember hypercolor t-shirts? Yeah, well, these are hypercolor pants. I’m single-handedly bringing back the 80s. You should see my legwarmer and Swatch collection! Really, tomorrow I’ll wear parachute pants and lace gloves!”
I don’t think they bought it.
Note to self: Stop wearing cotton pants in 90+ degree weather. And buy some leg warmers to be more convincing.
I admit that when I was first reading your post, I had never heard of Wacoal either. But then you mentioned B.Tempt'd. I love those bras! They are so cute and sexy! Oh and they're comfy (well for a bra anyway). I'd love to win a bra from them.
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