Thursday, March 10, 2011

My New Job!

I am sooooo excited to announce that I have officially joined the team of awesome bloggers over at Babble.com! I'm really honored to have been offered a job blogging there and I hope you'll all head over and read what I (and a few other talented bloggers) have written. Here's my first post. Please go leave me a comment so I'm not all sad and lonely there.

I’m so thrilled to be blogging at Babble, but I feel a little like the new kid in school among all these esteemed bloggers.  So, at the risk of sounding like a lame Facebook meme, let me stand up in front of the class and tell you a bit about myself.


1.  My name is Dawn.  People call me Dawn.  Or Mom.  But that’s mostly just my kids.  Or Shawna.  That’s a Ferris Bueller line.  I quote random movies regularly just to see who’s on the same page with me.  Hmmm, I wonder if Charlie Sheen was winning back when he was in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

2.  It’s been 75 minutes since I did a load of laundry.

3.  I have six kids.  Yes, I know what causes it.  Yes, there’s a reason why I have six; it’s because I didn’t want seven.

4.  I’m recently divorced from a man who quit being a father a year and a half ago.

5.  I have an unnatural fear of vomit. Seriously, when one of my kids throws up in my house, I move to another state.

6.  I’ve written two books, Because I Said So (and Other Tales from a Less-Than-Perfect Parent), and You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and Other Lies About Pregnancy and Childbirth). I’m thinking about writing a single mom’s survival guide next.  Or maybe I’ll write a book about Hawaii because that would probably take a considerable amount of research on the island.

7.   I hate the sound of styrofoam and balloons, I love to buy shoes, but I hate to wear them, I have enough bath/shower products to open my own Bath & Body Works, and I always step on the scale at least 3 times in a row just in case the number was wrong and I really weigh 20 pounds less than the first two readings because I’m insane.

8.  I can’t live without my cell phone, freshly laundered sheets, coconut, rum, and oxygen.

9.  I was born in Chicago and have lived thereabouts my whole life.  I love the city, but passionately hate the weather.  And the traffic.  And the weather (yes, I hate it that much).

10.  A disturbing amount of people land on my blog after googling “bat poop”.  I’m not sure why since I don’t recall ever writing about guano.

11.  I’m addicted to coffee.  I tried giving it up once, but the uncaffeinated version of me scared my coworkers and they begged me to ingest some sort of caffeine.  After about a week, I started drinking coffee again and eventually, they gave me my scissors back.

12.  I don’t do math or mornings.

13.  I can’t spell privilege, amateur, or turquoise.

14.  My kids have taught me that eating blue popsicles turns your poop neon green, no matter how long you leave the freezer door open, it will never turn the water on the kitchen floor into an ice rink, and toddlers actually can subsist on chocolate milk and ketchup for a week.

15.  I’m a horrible procrastinator.  I have a hard time finishing pretty much every. . .

11 comments:

  1. That's fantastic, Dawn! I'm so excited for you. Unfortunately, your link doesn't seem to be working. I tried going to babble.com and looking you up, but I got all lost and stuff.

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  2. Thanks for letting me know! I have no idea how I screwed that up, but I think it's fixed now.

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  3. Congrats Dawn! Awesome! I'm headed over there now.

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  4. 16. You're Queen of Strike Out text
    17. Nice first article
    18. You need to come to the procrastinators meeting at 10.. 11.. 2... whenever
    19. Thanks for the tip about the popsicles, I'm going to get some now. Can't wait to see how it all comes out!
    20. Top 20 lists are sad

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  5. Woo! Congratulations! So happy for you. :D

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  6. So happy for you--YAY! Thank God for providing. I know you'll make people smile and laugh on Babble just as much as you do here. Still praying for your family. You are doing great though and congratulations on your new job! :)

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  7. Congrats! Very nice first column.

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  8. Enjoyed your column there. (Please keep posting a links from your blog here when you post there.)

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  9. I left a comment and also a link to your Pokemon auction for anyone who has never seen it. It's hysterical stuff. Here it is here too in case there are people who haven't been following you since then. http://tdc.s3.amazonaws.com/brilliant.pdf Congratulations on Babble!
    Jean

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  10. Dawn, I am so happy for you. I've only been reading you for a few months, but you inspire me! Yeah for you on the awesome new opportunity!

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This is where you tell me how awesome and funny I am. If you want to tell me how much I suck, you have to use my hate mail form here. http://www.becauseisaidso.com/get-in-touch/hate-mail/ Those are the rules. Oh and I moderate my comments so if your comment doesn't show up immediately, be patient, young Jedi.