Like Gag Me with a Spoon!

"Hey Mom, can you help me with a project about the 80s?"

"YES! I can totally help you with it." I love getting requests like this because I don't have to come up with excuses why I can't help. Like when my 5th grader asks me for math help. I take a look at his assignment, see all the numbers and start feeling woozy, then I feign an injury that needs immediate medical attention so I have don't to admit to my kids that I still count on my fingers (and sometimes toes).

But a project about the 80s? Now, THAT I can do!

"So, what kind of music did you listen to in the 80s?"

"I listened to the same stuff I listen to now. I'm kinda stuck in the 80s," I confessed to Savannah. (Not a word, Chris!!!)

"Well, what movies did you watch?"

"Anything by John Hughes."

"What did you guys wear?"

I started getting excited at this point, reminiscing about my high school couture. Well, we wore Gunne Sax dresses to prom and homecoming. We wore tight, skinny acid washed jeans and we rolled the legs around as tight as possible and then tucked them into our socks. We generally wore a couple different pairs of brightly colored socks too. Or leg warmers! Oooo, yeah! We wore sock and leg warmers and we layered them!

"You tucked your jeans into your socks? On purpose?" Savannah looked at me like I was some sort of dork.

"Well yeah! At least, the totally cool kids did! Oooo and parachute pants! Everyone had parachute pants! I got mine at Madigan's Junior at Woodfield Mall. They were black. I was awesome. Oh yeah! And we wore lots of bright, neon stuff! Oooo, and color-changing shirts! They'd actually change color if you were hot or cold! And fishnet tops over other shirts!"

Blank stares from Savannah

"Oooo, and we'd carry a big ole comb in our back pocket!"

"To comb your hair?"

"I think it was more of an accessory because after we sprayed half a can of Aqua Net or Stiff Stuff in our hair, we couldn't possibly pull a comb through it."

Slight eye-rolling from Savannah

Yep, and we had portable curling irons that ran on lighter fluid, and we'd light our black eyeliner pencils with a lighter to make them more spreadable, then we'd layer it on thick. Oooo and we had jelly bracelets! And jelly shoes! And Swatches! Lots of Swatches! We'd wear half a dozen of these plastic watches down our arm at once!

"Seriously? And you were making fun of us for wearing those shaped rubber band bracelets."

"Um well. OK, you have a point there."

"We didn't have cell phones, we didn't even have cordless phones til later. I had to stand in the kitchen and have my conversations while my mom was cooking dinner or my sister was doing her homework. No privacy. And I couldn't move more than 5 feet away from the wall or the phone would unplug. And there was no caller ID either! Our video games were all the same - a little square that hit another little square back and forth. Actually, nope, sometime, later in the 80s, we had better ones like PacMan and Asteroids. And we had MTV and MTV was just all videos all day long back then!"

Savannah's eyes glazed over with information overload

"OK, what kind of slang was popular then?"

"Like I'm so totally sure! We had like the most gnarly slang like ever!"

"OK then. Umm, thanks for your help, Mom."

But it gets even better! My sister, who never throws anything away, was able to outfit Savannah for this project! Mini skirt - check! Leggings - check! Big earrings - check! Lace gloves - check! See for yourself!

Is she like totally awesome, or what?