A Year in Review

January brought a trip to the Wisconsin Dells where we saw a Billy Ray Cyrus look-alike complete with mullet.  I started an exercise regimen which included me cursing at a smiling Kathy Ireland on TV while I sweated and stomped around clutching my chest.  I had my my first orientation meeting at the high school and I excitedly looked forward to Austin entering the world of higher education, and, finally, while working on my book at the library, I convinced myself I was being stalked by a weirdo when it was actually just the librarian's reflection.

 

In February, I lost my voice and spilled coffee down my front, burning my boob, and forgot to pack pants before speaking at a baby expo in Wisconsin.  My ears bled at the kids' band concert,  I was reminded of why you should never take a shower while your kids are awake lest you emerge from the shower to find every surface in your house covered in glue.

 

March brought a lot of fun things!  For example, Fed Ex showed up with a box of my very first book!  An Indiana Jones figure made a great escape from Brooklyn's digestive tract, we discovered where my kids acquired their amazing, artistic talent, and Clayton did an experiment to see if water, dirt, and bananas would explode while I contemplated running away from home!

 

My book officially launched in April and I cut a hole in the pants I wore to my first book signing!  I took a little trip to Atlanta to promote my book, and Austin learned (sorta) how to care for a baby.

 

I took a little trip to Disney World in May.  I also learned a foreign language,  and discovered Clay's new "pet".

 

In June, I asked the age-old question - where do all the socks go?  Clay grew armpit hair and caught a fly with his bare hands.

 

Clay ran away from home with a wagon, a basketball & his bike, I <del>totally freaked out</del> was surprised when a boy said hi to Savannah, and Clay learned to walk on water (in the bathroom sink).

 

August brought another camping trip because I'm just a glutton for punishment that way, and a short jaunt to NYC where I saw many weirdos in Times Square.

 

In September, Brooklyn taught me how to expand my wardrobe.  I got to experience my first stress test, and we took a fun-filled trip to St. Louis.

 

Austin flunked out of high school, and Clay grew a mustache in the middle of the grocery store in October.  And the kids all managed to get the swine flu.

 

In November, I taught people how to use self check-outs, and hang up their coats. 

 

I realized I was a coat rack in December, and Clay explained how to cook a turkey in 16 minutes.  Then I helped my dentist pay for his Christmas presents.

 

Yep, that about sums it up.  I wonder what 2010 will bring...