The first page - "All About Me"
As you can see, when I was in kindergarten, I had short black hair. And I bet you never knew I have one black eye and one purple eye. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that I had a chicken foot for a nose. Thank God for plastic surgery! Yes, I know I have a freakish joker-looking smile there. I think it's just because I was having so much fun drawing my self-portrait.
page two - "My House"
Yep, back in those days, I lived in a teepee. With a chimney. And a giant letter "E" on the roof. And two windows. And a door that didn't go down to the ground. You had to kind of hop up into the teepee-house. I have no idea what the red thing is on the right. Maybe one of my giant red teeth fell out.
page three - "My Hand"
Yep, it's my hand all right. Right after it was squished in a farming accident. And check out the nail polish job. Niiiice. If you look closely you can see rings on every finger. Or maybe those aren't rings. Hmmmm, it looks a little bit like I've drawn hair on my knuckles. Oh yeah, there's nothing quite so attractive as a 5 year old girl with knuckle hair.
page four - "My Feet"
Yes, they're dirty. Even back then I liked to go barefoot. And they appear to be fused at the heel. I'm either about to step on some eyeballs or a caterpillar with a water spout on its head. Maybe my feet are supposed to be a butterfly in which case the clouds are a nice touch.
page five - "My Favorite Color"
Any guesses as to what my favorite color was? Anyone? Anyone? As you can see, I was highly creative back in the day. Assorted checkerboards, an asterisk, and um, hmmm, fluffy clouds? Sheep? Flowers? Purple popcorn?
page six - "My Family"
Let me introduce you to my family. From left to right, we have my dad, Nick (yes, it's a very original Greek name, I know.) In reality he is not a foot shorter than my mom who is standing next to him.
I'm not 100% positive, but I'm pretty sure my mom, Diana, never wore her lipstick like Bozo the Clown. And check out those earrings! Those babies defy gravity! And yes, her arms are coming out of her cheeks. I know, I know, you probably missed that little tidbit because you were too busy looking at her deformed hands.
Next to my mom, is my sister Deb. Now Deb IS almost 2 years younger than I am (despite the fact that I had my kids snowed into thinking I was the younger sister. Hee hee shhhhh!), however, when I was in kindergarten, she did not come up to my knee caps.
And finally, there I am. No, I'm not wearing any pants. Perhaps I thought that snazzy little patchwork number would blind people and they wouldn't notice the lack of pants. If people made fun of the fact I wasn't wearing any pants, I guess I could've just hit them with my club-for-an-arm.
So, there you have it. Creativity abounds in me and I'm certain I'm responsible for passing these awesome genes down to my kids.
Your Kindergarten drawings are A LOT better than what I can do as an adult :X
ReplyDeleteAnother wonderful, and much needed, laugh! Creativity, it is in the eye of the beholder...for sure! :)
ReplyDeleteSo that's why you have not had any pants lately!
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny. I have a drawing that my son did two years ago of my hubby and myself. I think he forgot that he was supposed to draw both of us, cuz my head is 1/3 the width of hub's. It's actually hanging up in my kitchen. He will look back and laugh. Actually company laughs eveerytime they come over.
ReplyDeleteYes, I see where they get their creativity! Did you not have any family members who resembled potatoes?
ReplyDeleteMy mom saved my dolls and my high school detention letter.
Wonderful post! Love hearing about your childhood!
Those are actually pretty great kindergarten pictures! Isn't it fun to look back at that stuff?
ReplyDeleteThat is COMPLETELY adorable. Now I don't feel so weird for saving every little project my kid completes in school. Even though they're completely monopolizing every available space in my house.
ReplyDeleteClearly your propensity for forgetting your pants goes waaaayy back.
ReplyDeleteThis was sooooo funny- thanks for the laughs and now we can see where your children get their artistic talents.
God bless and have a wonderful day!
I think it's so great that you still have things that you made in kindergarten! I love drawings done by 5 year olds! Thanks for sharing, Dawn!! :)
ReplyDeleteDonna in PA :)
Most women look a little harried, maybe even older than their years, after having six kids. These pictures are proof that you are defying the odds and have actually improved with age.
ReplyDeleteYou will be a real stunner at 70. :)
There are breeds of dogs that have two different eye colors. But I'm not suggesting...
ReplyDeleteI had a reading textbook in either K or 1st that was called Purple Popcorn. Maybe that's where the purple popcorn came from?
ReplyDeleteI don't often get a chance to get to this website :( I love reading about your family. I am so reminded of why my own mother had a box.
ReplyDeleteShe would inform us that she was going around and picking up things that were out on ON THE FLOOR :) She had her box and things out of place were put in the box. Whether we would get things back in a timely fashion always depended on her mood.
I was one of the lucky sisters There were 4 of us. My sister Kris would NEVER listen and her stuff would end up out in the box and out in the garage.
Poor mom. If she was just plain tired items in the garage would be the through the rest of the day maybe tomorrow?!
I used this sort of discipline when my 2 were younger. I only had 2 but in all fairness I was pregnant for 2 years with the exception of 5 weeks.
Kids are now teens and they could pick me up and put ME in a box and out in the garage if they wanted to. We laugh often in this house.
Try the box with your son. It works :)
Oh how fun. That cracks me up :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think those are purple flowers. And that isn't hair, that's the skin fold bend of your knuckles. I used to try to draw those on all my fingers but failed miserably. I'm a horrid artist. It helps identify kindergarten artwork though ;)
You should do another version for now... I'd love to see the update :)
That post was HILARIOUS! I was literally laughing out loud all alone in my room. :D Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteYour "chicken foot" nose reminds me of my Cabage Patch Doll's nose. Maybe that's where you got the idea.
ReplyDeleteYour feet look like those "helicopter seeds" that fall from trees.
That's funny. Thanks for the laughs.
ReplyDeleteI just read your article in Guidepost magazine and really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteDawn,
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping this will make it into your Sunday Shout Out this week - hint, hint!
Has anyone contacted you to submit a story and/or be a permanent writer for ABC's new show "In the Motherhood"?
I have been a fan of the webisodes since I first saw them over a year ago - they originally starred Chelsea Handler, Jenny McCarthy and Leah Remini. The televised version stars Megan Mulally, and a few others I can't remember. VERY FUNNY show! You NEED to submit some of your mom experiences, they would totally get picked up. In fact, they would probably hire you on the spot as a permanent member of their writing staff!
Here's the website: http://itm.abc.go.com/
how cute! that explains alot about the potato people, lmao!
ReplyDeleteThat's not a giant E- it's a weathervane! Well, that's my guess! (13 years of teaching little ones, you begin to figure out their minds!)
ReplyDeleteMy 4yo is laying up against me watching tv and she keep saying "Mommy! Why is your belly keep bouncing up and down?"
ReplyDeleteBut I didn't lol, I swear!
Dawn -- these are always hilarious! One of my favorite posts of yours was when you unearthed some of your other childhood drawings. Thanks for sharing!!! :)
ReplyDelete-Lori
I think the creativity you have is with words not drawing. I was nearly doubled over with your interpretation of each picture. Thank you for the laughs.
ReplyDeleteSherry
I am sooo glad you got the nose job and the dental work done before you were old enough to experience the adverse affects.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure that isn't Dorothy's house - it is airborn? And that would define the red thing as either the roof to the storm cellar or a woodshed, take your pick.
This blog was a hoot - I love the kid art! Thanks for the chuckles.
Creative Genius aside. I am pretty certain that giant E on the top of your house was a tv antanae. Remember those? Ha! Any of you who answered yes, are at least as old as me!
ReplyDeleteSo fun. I have to rustle up some of my own kindergarten drawings. I'm sure the ones my son did are cuter, though.
ReplyDelete