Kodak Moments

The other day, I mentioned to my dad that I'd like to take a photography class. My dad used to be Mr. Photo-Guy. I mean, wherever we went (especially on vacations), there he was with the camera and the 80,000 lenses and filters. "Just stand over there. OK, now climb up in that tree. Just one more picture. OK, now let me change the lens. OK, stand over there. Look that way. OK, now look at your sister. Get back up in the tree....." Meanwhile, 4 days of vacation have passed by and we have yet to leave the hotel grounds. On the bright side, he has 4000 pictures of my sister and me in a tree.

Anyway, my dad gave me a couple of his old photography books to borrow: The 9th Here's How book by Kodak, published in 1974 and Adventures in Color-Slide Photography by Kodak, published in 1976. There are probably some good helpful hints in them, but the little kid in me couldn't stop giggling at the pictures long enough to read anything.

Before and after grandpa looked at Medusa.

"Huh? Platypus tail? I don't know what you're talking about...oh this? No, silly. That's just my tie."

Name 3 things wrong with this picture. The grown man playing with the kitty? The gorgeous blanket? The guy's plaid pants? The overall orange color that burns your retinas?

"I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I didn't steal the bone."

"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me. I'm not even English!"

"Look Dad! Look! Fido can fly! All you have to do is poke him in the butt with this stick!"

"I know you're busy riding your chicken and all, but I just wanted to come over here and tell you that I love your hat! It's almost as sexy as my pants."

"OW! The pain! I think I broke my hip!"

"Darn kids making us lie on the ground. Just smile, honey and let's get this over with. Then we'll rewrite our will."

Ahhh remember the days of playgrounds with metal equipment? With 50 foot slides o' death and those things that spun around like a centrifuge until kids went flying off and/or puked? Ahhh good times, good times.

Yes, the family portrait. A little stiff; a little formal. I think this family can do better, don't you?

"Now you sit over there, Bobby. No, there. Move over 2 more inches. Yes, right there! Now Sally, look at the camera. Ok, Timmy, you hold this wreath and pretend to hang it up. Martha, tilt your head a little. There we go. Now everyone, we don't want to have a stuffy, posed picture like last Christmas, so look natural!"

There are no words. Oh wait, maybe this is a photography lesson on turning the camera around on the peeping Tom outside your window. The naked, peeping Tom. Hmmm, actually scratch that. There are no words.

"And here's a picture of Mother and me at home on Scrabble night."

"The most important lesson in taking good pictures is to always have your lucky pet armadillo on your camera. It distracts people from the comb-over area of slightly thinning hair."

"OK, I'll distract and confuse the bear with my pants; you take the picture."

Is the groom wearing make-up? Do the best man's glasses weigh 4 1/2 pounds? What color was the bowl the groom used to cut his hair? And most disturbingly, why is the best man looking longingly at the groom??? Ohhh, that's not the best man? That's the father of the bride, you say? Oh well, then everything makes perfect sense now.

I have more of these pictures, but I don't want to scare you too much in one night. The rest will have to wait.

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*****Edited to add - now through September 30, when you eat at Chili's, they will donate a a portion of their proceeds to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. When you dine on September 29, Chili's will donate 100% of participating restaurant's sales! Help St. Jude find cures and save children with cancer and other catastrophic childhood diseases. (And get out of cooking one night too!)