When my alarm went off this morning, I did the unthinkable. I turned off the alarm and I got out of bed. I know! No, no, please, hold your applause. Seriously, I got up, showered, dressed and got going immediately. "We are SO going to make it to church on time today," I thought. Then I remembered that I had volunteered to bring in some Play-Doh toys for the kids in the nursery.
"Jackson, run out to the garage and grab the box of Play Doh stuff please."
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
"Ugh. whine whine whine"
A few minutes passed and Jackson came in from the garage empty-handed.
"Where are the Play Doh things?" I inquired, not the least bit surprised that Jackson had gotten distracted and returned empty-handed.
"In the garage. duh"
"Bring them inside! We have to get going."
"But they're not in the Play Doh box. They're at the bottom of the refrigerator box."
"Why??? Oh, never mind. I don't want to know why they're in there. Just go get them please!"
"Why are you making me get them?" grumble grumble grumble
"Because I'm mean."
"Yes, you are!" Jackson replied as he stomped off to the garage.
Another few minutes passed and he returned empty-handed yet again.
"I can't get them," Jackson complained.
"Ugh. Fine!" I brushed past him and went to retrieve the toys myself.
I walked into the garage and saw that the kids had set up some kind of fort in there. They had every pillow and blanket from every bed in the house, save mine, piled up in the garage. There was a container of crayons artistically distributed over every square inch of floor; there were containers of pretzels and cereal left out to get stale; there were books, flashlights, dolls, stuffed animals, and toys strewn about.
"What the...??? Did you guys really think that was a good idea? Why did you guys put all this stuff out here?"
"It's our clubhouse, Mom. Isn't it cool?"
"Yeah, it's lovely. And the best part is that now I can spend all day washing all this bedding so it doesn't smell like gasoline, grass, and garagey stuff. Delightful."
By the time I'd picked up some of the blankets, pillows, and towels from the garage, it was time to leave. In fact, it was a little past time to leave.
"Come on. Let's go guys. Everyone get in the car. Someone put the PlayDoh stuff in the car too."
I poured myself a cup of coffee to go and went out to the car. Five blocks later, Austin pipes up with, "I don't have my shoes."
"Seriously? You don't have shoes on? Why not? Where did you think we were going? How can you forget your shoes? How? How?? HOW???"
I hung a u-turn and went back so my THIRTEEN year old could get his shoes. So much for being on time today.
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Sometimes you've just got to wonder where the 13-year-old's brain has gone. Frightening...
ReplyDeleteDawn, I keep hoping that as the wee ones get older, it will be easier. And better. And you keep shooting that theory all to heck! But at least I get a giggle while becoming thoroughly depressed at my future life. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I can top that! I drive my three to school and when we arrive, my youngest (7 at the time) tells me she doesn't have underwear on. Now, this wouldn't really be a problem, except she was wearing a skirt!!!! Now, you tell me, how does one forget their panties? I may be forgetful, but I would never forget my panties.
ReplyDeleteWow sounds like my day The boys have been holy terrors the past few days. OMG I swear I am going to lose my mind. Tonight I had to clean their room because they trashed it. I sprayed carpet cleaner on their floor and told them not to walk on it so it could dry and they were like ok we are playing on beds. Seems harmless enough NO? Well I came downstairs and checked dinner then sat down to play on computer for a bit and in a little while Sawyer came down bawling. I looked up to hear him babbling Look what Noah did. There stood Sawyer with his face covered with PERMANENT black marker. After further inspection I noticed NOAH written on his A@@ backwards along with other scribbling all OVER his body Well I lost it. I went upstairs looking for Noah and found him under Sawyers bed. I told him to come out and after allot of hollering he obeyed reluctantly and I asked him why he did it His response was I didn’t do it I said really then who did? Sawyer did it I said really? Hmmmmmm Sawyer wrote your name backwards on his own AS@@He stood there looking like Why the hell doesn’t she believe me I told him that IF he gave me the marker and the lid I wouldn’t beat him He found them TOOT sweet. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh Then after giving them a good talking while I scrubbed Sawyers butt to remove all signs of Noah's graffiti I sat them on the couch so I could then go up and use sweeper on their floor. I came down to a new and glorious mess. I had gone to DG earlier and bought a 12 roll double roll in fact pack of TP and thanks to boys found it opened and UNROLLED on living room floor My question how in the HELL do they think about doing these things . So once again I screamed. I swear I am going to get a chronic case of laryngitis raising these boys. So I picked it all up and put it in a grocery bag and put it by the toilet. Pre torn tp. I talked to my oldest son Petey who is 20 and at Fort Gordon Ga later and told him what happened and he said what did you do with it dearest? I told him and he said OH? I asked him what he thought I would do with it and his reply was............. I could picture you rerolling it you tight A@@. I said no I didn’t go to that extreme. My head it throbbing just thinking about today. Whats the saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. CRAP I outta be Superman by Wednesday.!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Dawn,
ReplyDeleteOne of my good friends' 7 year old managed to get to church with just 1 shoe. Yep. Not missing both shoes but just 1 shoe on her foot. How does that happen??
Do you think Austin had some kinda short term memory loss? Was he barefoot or was he wearing socks? I'm trying to understand the mind of a 13 year old. Let's see... get dressed...check... eat breakfast...check...make bed...okay, only if Mom's checking....brush teeth...nah..later...get in car for VBS.. check... What am I missing? Hmmmmm... NOpe.. I'm good.
Too funny...
Love ya, Dawn!
~Lisa, San Antonio, Texas
OH YES!!!!! Been there....
ReplyDeleteI am ALWAYS late to church. now they wait for us to start. ;)
Jenn
My 13 year old has left without shoes before too. Proof that puberty kills brain cells.
ReplyDeleteSo, the mess in my basement, is actually my children's artistic nature comeing out. All the Barbies strewn on the floor are laid out in the artists interpretation of chaos...The Little People signify the relationship of the artist's size to those that are raising them (which are the Barbies and the lone Ken/Prince Charming Doll). The strewn about doll clothing is symbolizing angst and independence from rules.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I have come home after driving up the road, to get shoes for my 9 year old, my 5 year old and my 3 year old. We haven't even hit the teen years, yet...
I brought my nine year old son to religious education class one Saturday when my husband was out of town. We get all the way there and then he tells me that he didn't have shoes. I told him to go in without shoes - it was dry and they would be inside the whole time anyway.
ReplyDeleteHis teacher thanked me at church for giving her something to laugh about and tell her friends. I can just imagine..."In my day, the boy would have been dressed in a suit with shined shoes"
I have better things to worry about than what other people think.
Christy
http://adventuresfive.blogspot.com
Your morning sounds so much like my Sunday mornings. We walk to church which is behind our house and still can't seem to get there on time. I guess when we have kids we can expect to be late...lol.
ReplyDeleteHAHA!
ReplyDeleteAmazing the kind of mess they can make in the 2 minutes that you turn your head!
ReplyDeleteDawn! Didn't Savannah used to have blond hair in the drawing/picture at the top of your blog? (Please tell me I'm not going crazy!)
ReplyDeleteI totally tell my kids "because I'm the meanest mommy in the world" all the time! My kids love to make forts too, hopefully they'll keep it out of the garage. We are blessed to have a pretty big house, so here's hoping!
ReplyDeleteI can top that one. Getting my twin second graders to get their hair and teeth brushed, shoes on and out to the school bus has always been a challenge for me, and on one especially horrid morning I had just had it. I told "A" to put her boots on NOW and get out to the bus stop before she missed the bus. I put the boots down in front of her and told her not to say another word - just do it. "But Mom!" Not another word! Get out there!
ReplyDeleteWell imagine my horror when she got off the bus that afternoon and I realized that I sent her to school wearing MY boots. Size 8 with a slight heel no less. ((blushing)) Cripes.
Thank goodness my kids aren't the only ones that "forget" to put their shoes on.
ReplyDeleteAnd, um... your use of the term "garagey" just made you my favoritest person EVER.
Kevin did that shoe thing the weekend before last. We went to the patio store...on the far side of LOUISVILLE...and as we got out of the car he said, "Uh Mom, I forgot my shoes." 25 miles away from home and the kid has no shoes. GRRRR. Good for him that I happened to find a pair of his flip flops in the back-back of the car.
ReplyDeleteThere's a famous saying for my almost 13 year old that if his butt wasn't already attached, he'd forget that too! LOL
ReplyDeleteAnd they wonder why we yell ...
ReplyDeleteDawn,
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say that Austin is likely to start thinking about things like this soon, but the "experts" say that the part of a teenager's brain that controls rational thought doesn't full develop until they are 19 or 20.
SCARY!!!
If it makes you feel any better...
...one morning I was in a hurry to get to work (back when I still had an outside job) and grabbed what I perceived to be my boots. I worked as a medic, so I had to wear steel-toed black boots to work. All the way to my station I kept thinking that the boots felt a bit "funny" only to find once I arrived that I had indeed grabbed my husband's identical boots.
Luckily I only had to run two or three calls before he could make it to my station and trade me. Even more luckily he didn't need his that day! Thanks for another funny story, girl...you know we love you for them!
I would bet it's not so much a 13 year old thing, as it is a BOY thing. I think my husband would forget his shoes if I didn't lay them out for him.
ReplyDeleteOne morning we were on our way out the door to church. my mother in law was outside in the car waiting. My youngest,who was 6 at the time went out without any pants on! Shirt,tie,socks,dress shoes-but no pants! He had gone to the bathroom right before we left and I guess took his pants off so he wouldn't get pee on them ( I was forever getting after him for his poor aim) and forgot to put them back on! He did have on underwear though!
ReplyDeleteI love how you re-affirmed the title of your blog w/in the first few minutes of your conversation w/ your son.
ReplyDeleteOh the time I waste arguing w/ my children over why I asked them/told them to do something!!!
I can't stop laughing! Sorry, not very supportive, but that was FUNNY!
ReplyDeleteBless you for being so patient with him and turning around, I can imagine if it had been me I would have let him go to church without shoes. He might remember his shoes after that. Maybe not. Love your blog.
ReplyDeleteokay, your kid is 13 and forgot his shoes. I'm 29. a responsible mother, and midwife. I just got home from a trip to town... only to realise... I forgot my shoes at a friend's house!
ReplyDeleteSo don't be too hard on him; it could happen to anyone ;)
That's too funny! I went to the grocery store this morning and as I was getting my little one out of the car and noticed that my 4 yr. didn't have shoes on. I told her to put her shoes BACK on. She told me she didn't have any shoes to put on. Mind you, I had just cleaned out my car. So, a weeks worth of art projects, snacks, dirty diapers and extra clothes and shoes went back into the house or into the trash. I had to go all the way back home to get her shoes that she took off on the porch. I guess I shouldn't of been so upset though, because my kid is 4 and your's is 13!!!! Let your boy know that's what 4 yr. old girls do and I will bet you he will never do it again!
ReplyDelete:) Dawn (too!)
I actually keep spare pairs of shoes in the car.......sad, but true
ReplyDeleteTo Heather - Your daughter may have a future as a pop singer (yikes!)
ReplyDeleteI want to second what Valarie said - I think the shoe thing is a boy issue. I cleaned out the car the other day amazed at how many stray shoes and socks were in the backseat!
ReplyDeleteI totally think the devil works in overtime on Sunday mornings. I have four (2 boys, 2 girls) and the oldest is 13 a year old. I have to take several deep breaths before entering the church. My husband is the choir director and has to be at the 8:30 service so I get everyone up, feed them, and dress them. I once called him between services and told him he needed to come get them from the car and take them to sunday school while I went to get a diet coke.
ReplyDeleteI just remebered the Sunday my 1 year old was playing in the toilet and of course there was urine in it because my boys do not flush. I heard something in the other bathroom while putting on makeup. I had to bathe her before leaving. There are many things that happen on Sunday mornings that I should keep a record of but I haven't. I think that we all have to be presentable on Sunday at once not like school. I know I should plan ahead the night before but I am too tired and afraid it will cause someone to get sick.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the time my 11 year old lost one shoe at school. How do you lose one shoe?
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the church thing too. We used to go at 9:00 and never had a problem getting out the door. Now we got at 11:30 and it seems like we're always late! Go figure.
Every time I need a laugh I know I can read your blog and chuckle. I think it's funny because in some way or another us mom's have had similar experiences or can totally see it happening to us if we haven't! Motherhood is quite the adventure and it sure isn't for wimps!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know my 4 girls aren't the only ones that think building a clubhouse,(or castle as they say)requires ALL pillows and blankets. Honestly, on a rainy day in the dead of winter anything that keeps them quiet sounds good, but heck no not on my terms,it's always when we have plans or visitors that they wreck the house. As if I don't have enough to do without adding washing extra laundry and remaking all the beds.
ReplyDelete13...wow...no words!
New to blog world. LOVE yours. Too funny. Just what I need to start my dad.
Wow, your a nice mom. I wouldn't have turned around at all and just let him be barefoot. His dumb choice to live with.
ReplyDeleteLove love LOVE the stories of your kids! Never a dull moment. How do you survive?
I love your stories because it's like you have been listening to our house. The shoes were the topper. Thanks for making me laugh.
ReplyDeleteThis is for Sunday soundout .
ReplyDeleteI am a teacher with very little to do at the moment as I am on my holidays. Your blog is one of the things that keeps me going. When are you going to post again? I mean its Saturday and you last posted on Wednesday!!! Do you have any idea how long that is when you have a boring life? Perhaps I should have some kids to pep upy holiday time?!
My seven year old son does this all the time! I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only mom who has this problem! Usually I don't notice until we get there that he is shoeless. I'm with you on this one, how could someone forget their shoes?!!
ReplyDeleteDawn,
ReplyDeleteI have 4 kids, and we regularly have the same shoe problem.
My kids do not go around regularly bare-footed...so I just do not get it.
I thought about setting up a rack for all the kids shoes next to the door, so we could grab them on the way out- but then decided that was not the look I was going for in the house.
I continue to wonder how you can declare yourself ready and yet not have your shoes and socks on your feet??