Grrrr Auction!

Once again, eBay pulled my auction. I understand why they pulled it the first time. They just don't want unethical people saying the auction is for charity and then pocketing the money. I understand that. When I went to relist it, Make a Wish Foundation didn't come up on their alphabetized list or under the categories of charities helping children. Because it didn't appear to be part of eBay's Giving Works, I listed it again and didn't write in my auction that I was going to donate the money, yet I still tried to make it clear to potential bidders that I really was going to donate the funds.

Apparently you can't say you're going to donate your earnings to charity, but you also can't say that you're not going to say you're going to donate your earnings to charity. I did get a very helpful (and by "helpful", I mean "lame" letter that didn't really explain anything to me. I wrote back to eBay to see just what their problem was and received the following wonderful answer to my question. Don't you just love companies who don't take the time to address your questions and instead send you autoresponders? Autoresponders that pretty much say, "We're not going to answer your question. Do not respond to this letter. We don't really care about your question. Buh-bye." This is really not a complaint specifically about eBay, but against every company who sadly lacks in the customer service department. I honestly don't have anything against eBay. I mean, if it weren't for my auction last year, I wouldn't be where I am right now. That said, I abhor stinky customer service from any company.

(Oooo Oooo! I have a really good customer service story though! I went to Best Buy the other day to check out cameras. I walked to the camera department and began looking around. Very soon, a friendly person asked, "Can I help you with anything?"
At this point, I declined and said that I was just looking.
"No problem. Let me know if you have any questions."
After a few more minutes, I approached this same woman and told her I had a few questions. And then the strangest thing happened. She answered my questions. With intelligence too! She knew what she was talking about! Not only that, but she seemed genuinely pleased to help find the right camera for me. When I told her I was thinking about taking a photography class, she even wrote down the names of a couple photography magazines she thought I might enjoy. It is so rare to find a customer service rep who not only knows what she's talking about, but is willing to share that information with you. And in a pleasant manner, at that! I was thoroughly impressed.

OK, back to the not so great side of customer service.
I hate these autoresponders. Let's see why. Here is the one I got from eBay. Again, I don't really have anything against eBay in particular. I just hate these stupid autoresponders. I've translated it for you so you know what it really says.


*****THIS IS AN AUTORESPONDER. PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE*****Thank you for writing to eBay Customer Support.

Why are you bugging us? We won't read your mail. We won't bother to respond to you. We will, however, send this stupid form letter in response to your inquiry because, quite frankly, you aren't worth our time.

We sincerely value you as a member of our trading community and understand your concern regarding your recently removed listing(s).

Ha ha! You lose. We win. You suck. We just took 2 listing fees from you and you have nothing to show for it. Hee hee hee!

We realize that there are times when you may have additional questions.

Unfortunately we don't have time to answer them.

When your listings were removed by eBay, we sent you a Removed Listing Notice, which explained why we removed your listings and provided helpful information about eBay's policies and guidelines.

OK, so maybe it didn't really contain an explanation and much information after all, but it looked official, no?

Should you have further questions or concerns, please review the information below.

which won't answer your questions, but will give you a lot more senseless drivel to read. You know, in case this letter isn't enough for you.

To ensure that eBay remains a safe and fun venue to buy and sell, all listings must meet certain guidelines. When a listing does not meet these guidelines, eBay may have to remove the listing early.

We must protect buyers from the horrors of people like you who offer to donate their money to charity.

For more information on why eBay removes listings please visit (blah blah blah) eBay may remove listings when the item or listing potentially infringes a third party's copyright or trademark, is prohibited on eBay, or when the item or listing otherwise violates eBay's listing policies. More detailed information explaining these policies is provided below:

1. Potentially infringing items violations: "Potentially infringing" means that items may be in violation of certain copyrights, trademarks, or other rights. For your protection, some items here are not allowed (i.e. are "prohibited"), regardless of their legality, because they almost always violate copyright or trademark laws. Some examples of potential copyright infringement are copies of music on CD-R, counterfeit software (including software that has been pre-loaded onto a computer hard drive), and copies of video recorded from TV or other sources. Examples of potential trademark infringement are replica watches, or counterfeit handbags and accessories, and the inappropriate use of brandnames in the title of a listing title that offers an item made by another company. To read more detailed information on eBay's potentially infringing policies please visit (blah blah blah).

Yeah, because "two shirts and a necklace" was really code for "pirated copies of the latest movies".

2. Prohibited items: The listing is for an item which eBay does not allow to be listed on our web site. This means that the item listed may violate a particular law or eBay has deemed it inappropriate for listing. Some examples of these prohibited items would be improperly listed Event Tickets, Offensive materials (such as Nazi or KKK items), as well as certain scanners, cable and satellite descramblers, transceivers, or linear amplifiers.For more information on the regulations on these types of items (listed respectively), please refer to (blah blah blah). Our complete list of Prohibited and Questionable Items policies may be found at (blah blah blah).

Although I don't especially like the Horton Hears a Who t-shirt, I don't think it's particularly offensive. I'm pretty sure it isn't illegal to dress like a dork.

3. A listing violation: the listing fails to meet the appropriate formator guidelines for listing on eBay. To view these guidelines, please visit (blah blah blah). Also, be aware that eBay members are not allowed to use another eBay user's images or descriptions in their listings or About Me page without the owner's permission.

Gotta make sure I didn't steal the pictures or descriptions from anyone else. You know, because there are so many people out there selling these same two shirts and necklace.

If you are a bidder and received a notice about a listing you were participating in, please keep in mind that we are unable to provide you with contact information for the seller. Since the listing was removed by eBay, the results are null and void. We do not recommend that you proceed with a transaction for a listing that has been removed early. Doing so would be at your own risk and without eBay insurance coverage or use of the feedback forum. If you should have additional questions after reading the polices on our site, please use the links provided on this page to contact us.

not that we'll answer you or anything

include your user ID, the item number(s) in question, and a detailed explanation of your situation. This will ensure that the appropriate department addresses your concerns

so we can send you the same generic autoresponder.

Thank you for taking the time to write to eBay

Loser


So, I think I'll give up on the auction. I thought it might be a fun way to raise funds, but it's turning out to be more of a headache than it's worth. I just paid Make A Wish Foundation $75.00 instead.